Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 5-16-2003

Volume 38 - Issue 26 - Friday, May 16, 2003

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 38 - Issue 26 - Friday, May 16, 2003" (2003). The Rose Thorn Archive. 304. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/304

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. VOLUME 38, ISSUE 26 R O S E -HU L M A N IN S TI T UT E OF TE C H N O L OG Y TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA FRIDAY MAY 16, 2003 Graduating seniors overcome market slump

from a similar drop last year. Adam Fasen Rose isn’t following every Staff Writer national trend, however. There are 54 seniors (approximately On May 31, 367 seniors of 15% of the graduating seniors) the class of 2003, possibly the planning on attending graduate largest class to graduate from school in the fall, down from 67 Rose, will cross the stage, grads (19%) in 2002. This was receive their degree, and enter a surprise, as there were a the workforce. Rose grads have greater number of schools and more to look forward to than students at the graduate fair this thousands of other grads this year. On a national level, grad- year: they have jobs. uate programs have received Despite a poor economic an increase in applicants for the trend, Rose graduates continue fall semester. Over 500,000 this year to enjoy an 85% place- graduating seniors nation-wide ment. Average placement at have taken the GRE, up from this time of year is between 380,000 in the ’90’s. 80% and 90%. The average Rose-Hulman Career Ser- overall starting salary for Rose vices and Employer Relations grads who have accepted offers Director Kevin Hewerdine is $50,119. Not bad when com- reports that it is a real positive pared with this year’s national aspect of Rose that students average of $48,278, or the Rose know what they have to do in grad average accepted offer situations such as this. “The from last year of $49,888. The overall accomplishment has been their mindset of creating largest offer this year is Photo courtesy Rose-Hulman $70,000 (Mechanical) and the opportunities for themselves,” The graduating class of 2003 prepares for commencement which takes place on Saturday, May 31 at 11:00 lowest is $34,000 (Civil). Hewerdine stated. “They had a a.m. in Hulbert Arena. The increase is not universal, real focus on the importance of however. Chemical, mechani- the job search and they did begin their employment, in Distribution of graduates has With all of these changes in cal, and computer engineers can well.” hopes that the economy will changed slightly as well. His- the job market, what can the expect slight increases from Obviously, not every school recover somewhat. torically, about 35% of grads class of 2004 expect? Short last year, while civil and elec- is enjoying the statistics that Top employers of the class of stay within Indiana. This year, answer: difficult to predict. The trical engineers endure slight Rose has. Many graduates in 2003 include Northrop Grum- the number will be closer to number of entry level positions decreases in average salary. other engineering programs man, Eli Lilly and Company, 45%. The increase of graduates offered nation-wide in 2002 Computer scientists should will have to find work outside Naval Surface Warfare Center, staying in-state is due to many took a nosedive: approximately expect a large drop from last of their area of expertise until National Air Intelligence Cen- corporations cutting their a one-third drop from 2001 in year, following a national trend the job market improves. Some ter, AE Staley Manufacturing recruiting budgets, leading to available jobs. This year, there of lower average earnings in others who have managed to Company, Performance Valida- fewer companies from out of was another drop of 3.5%. computer-related jobs. Com- obtain offers have been asked tion, Xetron, and General state attending career fairs or puter engineers are recovering to wait until the fall quarter to Dynamics. visiting campuses. Continued on Page 3...

“Flame of the Millenium” displayed on campus nium” sculpture was purchased by There are plans to create a reflect- Ted Chan the City of Chicago, and was built ing pond around the sculpture, Staff Writer to go by the I-90 and Ohio St. exit. along with a plaza of pavers, side- However, it was deemed a possi- walks, and benches. The plan is to Glen Raque, a 1969 Mechani- ble hazard to drivers because it have water flowing from the con- cal Engineering Major, pur- would be distracting and was too crete base of the sculpture into a chased and generously donated tall for that location. Thus, the shallow pond that is at about ground the stainless steel sculpture enti- City of Chicago purchased level. This will cause rippling tled the “Flame of the Millen- another sculpture by Nierman for effects in the reflecting pond creat- nium” that now stands in that location. Raque acquired the ing the effect of a moving flame. between Hatfield Hall and the sculpture and donated it to Rose. Below the pond will be lights, creat- road entrance to Rose. The The “Flame of the Millennium” ing the look of a lit flame at night. sculpture is estimated to be is Nierman’s tallest and largest There will be a fundraiser of selling worth a little over $1 million. work to date. It weighs approxi- pavers to fund the reflecting pond, This beautiful sculpture was mately 7100 lbs. The sculpture seating, sidewalk and plaza around designed and created by Leonardo came in parts and has never been the sculpture. Nierman, a Mexican sculptor who assembled before. Only a 15 foot Matt McNichols, the Art Curator lives and works in Mexico City. tall model has been assembled for Rose, said this sculpture will be Nierman received his bachelor’s prior to the assembly of the 45 a significant addition to the Terre degree in physics and mathemat- foot tall full sized sculpture. Haute Sculpture Trail. Raque ics at the University of Mexico. During this week the sculpture joked that he had heard a rumor He is a painter of oils and acrylics, was assembled and mounted to a that a project for Civil Engineering works in tapestry, sculptures in concrete base by members from majors may be to find the center of stainless steel and bronze, and is facilities, and a crew of four from gravity of the “Flame of the Mil- also a violinist. Nierman is world Nierman’s Mexico City work- lennium” statue. renowned and currently has works shop. The crew from Nierman’s Rose is hoping to have a dedica- in museums all across the world. workshop did not speak English tion in the fall, and hopes that the Three of his sculptures were and George, the custodian of the artist will be able to come in Sep- sold to the City of Chicago. Orig- SRC, served as the translator and tember to interact with the commu- Bob Schulein/Rose-Thorn inally the “Flame of the Millen- host for these guests. nity and discuss his sculpture.

ENTERTAINMENT OPINIONS SPORTS FLIPSIDE WEATHER WATCH Friday Reload and enter “The N - ??? Spurs end Lakers’ 3- Revenge of the Rose Partly Cloudy / Hi 73- Lo 54 Matrix” again. year reign. ladies. Saturday Page 4 & 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Mostly Cloudy / Hi 74 - Lo 61 Information courtesy The Weather Channel The Rose Thorn Page 2 EVENTS Friday, May 16, 2003 THE DEPARTMENT OF HUMANITIES & SOCIAL SCIENCES CONGRATULATES OUR 2003 MINORS: ANTHROPOLOGY ECONOMICS GERMAN JAPANESE PSYCHOLOGY Amanda McCarty Aaron Burke Jesse Boothby-Shoemaker Alexandra Bowers Dedric Day Tim Buscher Heidi Brackmann Todd Goldfinger Monica Gavala EAST ASIAN STUDIES Andrew Caldwell Matt Cosby Todd Grotenhuis Alla Genkina Amanda McCarty Theodore Chan Monica Gavala Christopher Hildebrand Trevor Doll Sonia Haalboom Allison Langham SPANISH EUROPEAN STUDIES Curt Geen Charles Porter Amanda McCarty Mishima Alam David Kugler Kleve Heavin Mike Rogers Jonathan Miller Paul Baldeshwiler Matthew Smith James Hoffman Curtis Schmitt Jeffrey Smith Theodore Chan Autumn Weddle Karl Hoffman Jay Sheridan Joshuah Smith Danielle Cooper GEOGRAPHY Ben Huckaba Iver Skog Jeremy Williams Michelle Einhorn Sam Burton Josh Karnes Joshua Strodtbeck Alex Woods Elizabeth Farquhar Anthony Cann Robert Kief Mark Valovage Rashad Gold Walt Flood Nathan Kozman Kevin Waldroup LANGUAGE Scott Green Joshua Lehnert Donnie McGaughey & LITERATURE Alicia Hetrick Jesse McQuiston HISTORY Amanda Garrelts Michael Jaskiewicz PHILOSOPHY Russell Morris J. Kahle Bopp Sidney Stamm Justin Jeter & RELIGION Bret Olson Matthew Isbell Adam Ziegler Rachel Lukens Alexander Lo Nick Osborn Iver Skog Wendy Packard Nick Osborn Joseph Ruble Timothy Swan POLITICAL SCIENCE Mike Rogers Ben Smeland Rory Sant Nick McKinney John Stoner Brian Shindeldecker LATIN AMERICAN Jennifer Phelps Travis Troyer Kyle Smith STUDIES Michael Reavey Michelle Unger Doug Wright Travis Troyer

2003 Cereal Cereal of the Election Results! Month Selections LOST CREEK HILLS Captain Crunch September - Count Chocula Cinnamon Toast Crunch October - Cracklin Oat Bran APARTMENTS Cookie Crisp November - Kashl N Fruit Loops December - Cinnamon Life PE Frosted Flakes January - Apple Jacks • Saturday, 5/17 from 1 - 4 PM O ! Golden Grahams SE February U Honey Nut Cheerios • Lost Creek Hills Apartments Tony’s Cinnamon Krunchers O Low-Fat Granola w/ Raisins H Lucky Charms March (first light east of Rose campus) Questions? Raisin Bran Crunch Captain Crunch Crunchberries • Come see what’s available for August Call 877-1146 Reese’s Puffs April - Corn Chex Special K Red Berries May - Trix Wendy Bennett, Licensed Broeker, Representative Lost Creek Hills - Sharp Flats L.L.C. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS

FOR RENT dryer, and some furnishings. Properties Rentals at 234-5680. FOR SALE FOR RENT [ONE LEFT! - 6 bedroom, 3 bath Now renting 3-6 bedroom Kenmore Heavy Duty Super Large unfurnished 3BR apt. for for 4+ people. $1050/mo] Call 1362 1/2 Plum Street - 1 Bedroom houses for 2003-04 school year. Capacity washer and dryer, two rent, nearly 1200 sq ft, near Union 478-9286. Apartment: Very large, Clean, good condition, great years old in good condition. $450 Hospital. $420/mo + utilities. contemporary apartment Can easlily neighborgood, and convenient to or best offer. Call 877-7773 for Phone 232-7188. FOR RENT accomodate 2 people. 15 minutes campus. 2+ bath, central air, frig, further information. For more information on any of the from campus. $350/mo plus electric. range, dishwasher, washer & following rentals, please call Brown No pets. Available August 1st.

Editorial Staff Editors-in-Chief Luke Stark & Bob Schulein Copy Editor Open News Editor Nicole Hartkemeyer The Rose Thorn Opinions Editor Brandon Hathaway “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed by providing an Entertainment Editor Drew Wright Sports Editor Josh Annin accurate and dependable source for news and information.” Humor Editor Steve Hoelle Events Editor Open Photo Editor Open The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. Administrative Staff 5500 Wabash Avenue We request that all letters to the editor be less than 300 words in length. Advertising Manager Wesley Kalata Terre Haute, IN 47803 E-mail is the preferred method of communication. The editors reserve the Phone: (812) 877-8255 right to edit letters for grammar, clarity, and length. All letters must Business Manager Open contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact Advisor Richard House Fax: (812) 877-8166 phone number to confirm the letter before publication. Editors Emeritus Rachel Lukens Frank Pfeiffer ‘96 E-mail: [email protected] Webmaster Open http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn ALL LETTERS TO THE EDITOR MUST BE RECEIVED BY NOON ON WEDNESDAY Thorn Staff BEFORE PUBLICATION The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Writers Eva Barlow The views expressed in the Thorn are those of the original author and do not Jacob P. Silvia first through ninth week each quarter necessarily represent the views of the Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Ted Chan Brandon Javella Nicholas McKinney UBMISSIONS Kevin Spontak S Events may be published in Events by any organization or individual. Information on club meetings, lectures, speeches, and athletic Photographer Open events, including announcements of times and locations may be submitted to Campus Calendar, in care of Dale Long, associate director of Cartoonist Open communications, at Box 14 or extension 8418. More detailed articles containing plans, agendas, and specific information should be submitted to the Rose Thorn. All submissions must be made by Wednesday at 5 p.m. in order to be published in the Rose Thorn on Friday. The Rose Thorn Friday, May 16, 2003 NEWS Page 3

Learning Center Review Sessions [Wed - May 21st] 6:00 - 8:00pm • Calculus III - O267 & O269 • DE 1 - O157 • DE 2 - O159 • Statistics - O257 & O259 8:00 - 10:00pm • Chem I - O267 & O269 • Chem II - O157 & O159 • Chem III - O257 & O259 [Thurs - May 22nd] 6:00 - 8:00pm • ES205 - O257 & O259 • Physics II - O157 • Physics III - O267 & O269 7:00 - 9:00pm • CS120 - O159 8:00 - 10:00pm • ECE200 - O157 • ECE130 - O267 & O269 • EM120 - O257 & O259 Seniors, continued from page 1

However, Rose has been able to keep an excellent placement record in the face of these fig- ures. The market could also recover a bit before next year’s seniors begin their career search. When asked what the class of 2004 should do to prepare for their job search next year, Hewerdine suggested the fol- lowing: -Update resumes on the E- Recruiting system. -Participate in workshops and fairs. -Understand what the market is looking for. -Get familiar with the career services. -Be proactive in your search: start early! “We at Career Services will work with graduating seniors until they find a job,” said Hewerdine.

5 class days 4 weekend days 1 holiday 4 days of finals

16 days left Hang in there! You can make it! The Rose Thorn Page 4 ENTERTAINMENT Friday, May 16, 2003

Weekend Box Office Summary This Week’s Releases: Title Weekend Total Gross 1 X2: X-Men United 40.0m 147.7m The Matrix: Reloaded 2 Daddy Day Care 27.6m 27.6m 3 The Lizzie McGuire Movie 7.2m 26.5m Sweet Sixteen 4 Identity 6.4m 39.3m 5 Anger Management 5.7m 123.8m Down with Love

Inverted

All of Xion’s hovercrafts have The Matrix: Reloaded been called back to their home city by the commander of the defending armies. Xion is expect- Starring: Keanu Reeves, Lau- ing a large assault by the rence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne machines within a matter of days, Moss led by a large army of sentinels tunneling through the earth Directed by: Andy and Larry towards the core. Morpheus has Wachowski the decision to disobey orders and wait for the Oracle to contact Rated R Neo, or go back to the city and risk missing an important rendez- Matt Paterson vous. This decision is the first of Guest Writer (from Canada) many throughout the movie, which leads to the philosophical imdb.com If any of you are like me, difference between the humans Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) gets ready to kick some digital ass in “The Matrix: Reloaded.” The eagerly awaited you’ve been wondering which and the machines, later explored sequel to the acclaimed 1999 Sci-Fi thriller was released yesterday to highly mixed reviews. movie is going to be the best of in the movie. the summer. Well, clearly we’re The movie gives an inside ruling council of Xion sends three very obviously computer ani- and origins of the matrix, which is going to have to wait until the end glimpse to the lives of the crew hovercrafts back into the perilous mated (the characters, that is). The also very interesting if you’re an of the summer to find out for sure, members inside the city of Xion. sewers, now flooded with senti- length of the fighting scenes was engineer like me. but I don’t think there will be Neo and Trinity are more than nels, to further explore the impressive, but the movie lacked All in all, this is arguably the much competition for “The ecstatic to have some time to “Prophecy” of “The One,” based the “basement” scene from the coolest movie in a few years. I Matrix Reloaded.” themselves out of the cramped on advice given to Neo from the original, i.e. a super-fly gun fight. was on the edge of my seat for a In the newest installation of quarters of the ship, as I’m sure Oracle. As expected, amazing At times, the story was very good portion of the movie. I was “The Matrix,” Neo (Keanu the avid Matrix fans are anticipat- fight scenes ensue, as well as a confusing, but not really in a bad slapping my knees, stomping my Reeves), Morpheus (Laurence ing. There’s a ridiculous party in few sweet car chases. Neo discov- way. It was very similar to feet, and I believe at one point I Fishburne), and Trinity (Carrie- Xion, preceded by the worst ers the origins of the Oracle, as “Memento” in that you can watch said, “Bling Bling.” Finally, the Anne Moss) are once again monologue I’ve ever heard, given well as some other “programs.” this movie again, figure out a little ending had a little twist, very fit- aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, by Morpheus. The scenery in the Overall, the movie is what I like bit more, and still have a good ting to “The Matrix” series, which joined by a new operator, Sparks city is pretty cool, and if I was to call “The New Bizazitch,” time watching it. Along the same will leave you begging to see (Lachy Hulme). The crew of the invited to that party I would have replacing the old one, “Crouching lines, the philosophical aspect of “The Matrix: Revolutions,” which Nebuchadnezzar is eagerly await- been the one loser-drunk, hitting Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” The action the movie was very interesting if concludes the trilogy in Novem- ing notice from the Oracle, who on all the scantily clad women. scenes surpass those in the origi- you’re a philosophy-major wan- ber. I didn’t pay to see this movie has gone missing, but they are While the rest of the city pre- nal, with the one disappointment nabe like me. The movie also (yet) but I would have, and it running out of time. pares for the impending war, the that some of the sequences were delved into the computer nature would be worth that $7.00.

The Hitchhiker’s Study break DVD of the week Guide to the Galaxy The Rose Thorn’s weekly guide to classic and modern films worthy of your precious time.

BBC Video Jacob P. Silvia his long-time friend yet alien closest friends from a small planet in the vi- and acquain- Staff Writer $26.23 at cinity of Betelgeuse; Trillian, a tances, and Deepdiscountdvd.com woman with a degree in mathe- even showing I’m sure that most of you matics, and another in astro- footage of in- have read the wonderful physics, who decided that terviews with Based on the novel “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Gal- traveling through space was him back in by: Douglas Adams. axy” book series by Douglas more promising than a tedious 1992. It is Adams. Why not see the first job back on earth; Zaphod, the rather touch- Starring: Tatsuya screen adaptation as well? It is two-headed, three-armed presi- ing. Nakadai, Akira well worth your time if you en- dent of the Galactic Federation; Simply Terao, and Mieko joy the writings of Adams. For and Marvin, the manically de- stated, if you Harada. those of you who are not famil- pressed paranoid android. enjoy the iar with “The Hitchhiker’s If you do decide to watch this books or ra- Supplements: Fea- Guide to the Galaxy,” it is a miniseries, do remember that it dio series of turettes, outtakes, light, satirical view of science is based off a book based off a “The Hitch- audio interview with fiction, poking fun at just about radio series, so the translation hiker’s Guide anything in a similar vein as is not flawless. They did omit to the Gal- Adams, deleted “Space Quest” (an old-school some funny stuff, but they left axy,” you scenes, Adams trib- video game series), and other in the rest, which is quite a bit. should watch ute documentary. classy Sci-fi satires. At times it watches like a radio this miniser- “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to program with pictures, but this ies. If you The bottom line: A the Galaxy” follows the life of is not a bad thing. It is quite an have never good adaptation of a a particular human being: interesting way to present writ- heard of “The classic Sci-Fi sat- Arthur Dent. It portrays his bi- ten to visual, the radio-esque Hitchhiker’s ire. This title zarre and confusing life prior to narration. Guide to the should be a required the destruction of the earth (to The bonus features on this disc Galaxy,” you read or watch for make way for an intergalactic compliment the miniseries well, should watch you should stop lying to your- any self-respecting bypass). On his way through including a sort of biography of this miniseries. If you simply the universe, he runs into a the late Douglas Adams, provid- despise all that is “The Hitch- self, and watch this miniseries. geek. wide array of characters: Ford, ing interviews with some of his hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Have a nice summer. The Rose Thorn Friday, May 16, 2003 ENTERTAINMENT Page 5 Classic album of the week

Drew Wright The vocals are much stronger on this effort, with Napalm Entertainment Editor The Thorn Concert Report Death-like snarls and deathy Friday, May 16 growls replacing the strained Living Sacrifice " Beloved/Small Town Tragedy - Creppy Crawl - STL wails. To accompany the much " Adult - Empty Bottle - CHI improved vocals, the music pre- " The Faint/Enon/Scneider TM - Metro - CHI Inhabit sented on "Inhabit" shows an as- " Calla - Schubas - CHI tounding maturation over Saturday, May 17 R.E.X. Music "Nonexistent". " Covenant/Melotron - Metro - CHI This time around, lead guitar- " King's X/Fishbone - The Abbey Pub - CHI 1993 ist shows a little Sunday, May 18 more discretion on when to fly " Living Sacrifice//Anah Aevia - Emerson The ater - IND It happens to every avid music "Nonexistent," the band was in- off on one of his many unique, Monday, May 19 listener at some time or another. stantly projected into the under- furious string-bending solos, " Steve Earl/Garrison Starr - Axis - IND That time when the rumors sur- ground spotlight as bands such which come off sounding like a " AM Radio/Rooney - Jillian's - LOU rounding your favorite band's as , Morbid dying buzz saw muffled behind Tuesday, May 20 demise finally prove themselves Angel, and Sepultura took notice a wall of steel. The effect, when " The Datsuns - Emerson Theater - IND true. For me, that day was last of the inaudible moans and paired with Jason's acoustic " Stretch Armstrong/New Found Glory - Family Arena - STL Monday, when I received verifi- sludgy, fuzzed out guitar work work, is as beautiful as it is de- " Essex Green - Empty Bottle - CHI cation regarding the demise of that dominated the record. In structive, as evident on the al- " Beans - The Abbey Pub - CHI my hometown heroes, Living what will surely be remembered bum’s closing track, the Wednesday, May 21 Sacrifice. After surviving 14 as one of the most original death instrumental "Departure." " Count the Stars - Festivilla - IND years of shady record deals, con- metal albums ever produced, Throw in drummer Lance Garv- " Beans - High Dive - URB " Helicopter Helicopter - Fredericks - STL stantly changing lineups, and the Living Sacrifice had announced in's tightest performance of his " Cephalic Carnage - Fireside Bowl - CHI pressures of family life, the pio- their arrival. career, and you have a musical Thursday, May 22 neering metal band has decided Riding this wave of success, masterpiece that will sadly go " Opeth/Lacuna Coil - Pop's - STL to hang up its horns instead of the quartet entered a cold, flood- unheard by most. Friday, May 23 continuing without rhythm gui- ed New England studio over Lyrically, the album deviates " Helicopter Helicopter - Birdy's - IND tarist and original member, their Christmas break to record very little from the band's previ- " Judah Johnson - Vertigo - BLM Bruce Fitzhugh, who announced the follow-up. The product of ous efforts, drawing primarily " Prefuse 73/Manitoba - Empty Bottle - CHI he was leaving the band on these dismal recording sessions from Christian theology. While friendly terms earlier this year. was the band's most complete the degree in which they pull Responsible for blazing a trail and interesting record, "Inhab- from scripture might be enough Picks By Day for many young Christian bands, it." to turn some away (in fact, this Friday: The Faint - dancey electro with an indie rock attitude Saturday: King’s X - legendary old-school the band's humble integrity and Combining the Kreator-like was one reason the band never Sunday: Living Sacrifice - see review boundless work ethic made a se- speed of their debut with the elevated to headlining large ven- Monday: Steve Earl - outlaw alt-country rious dent in the skeptical metal pummeling heaviness of "Non- ues), the material presented is Tuesday: Beans - ex-Anti-Pop Consortium goodness world over the course of their six existent," "Inhabit" presents the done so in such an intelligent Wednesday: Helicopter Helicopter - catchy indie pop albums. Upon the release of band at their creative and techni- manner as to not come across as Thursday: Opeth - progressive rock with an edge their second album, 1992's cal best. too caustic or offensive. Friday: Prefuse 73 - the cut and paste hip hop originator

WMHD 90.7 FM BALLYHOO “The Monkey” Top 30 May 12, 2003 PIZZA KING

# Artist Recording 1 Bishop Allen Charm School 232-3423 2 Broken Social Scene You Forgot It In People 4 Grandaddy Sumday Sampler 5 Tomahawk Mit Gas 6 Schneider TM 6 Peace EP 7 Manitoba Up In Flames Rose-Hulman Special 8 Deathray Davies Midnight At The Black Nail Pol ish Factory 9 The Starlight Mints Built On Squares 10 The Gathering Souvenirs Large 1 Item Pizza 11 Cursive The Ugly Organ 12 The New Pornographers Electric Version Everyday!! 13 Various Artists Ikebana: Merzbow's Amlux Re- built, Reused, and Recycled 14 The Hidden Cameras The Smell Of Our Own Only 15 Rise Against Revolutions Per Minute 16 Ghost Cauldron Invent Modest Fires 17 World Leader Pretend Fit For Faded 18 Righteous Boy I Sing Because Of You 19 Fall Out Boy Take This To Your Grave $5.00 20 Pleasure Forever Alter 21 Cex Being Ridden 22 Matchbook Romance West For Wishing EP 23 El Guapo Fake French EXPIRES 5-30-03 24 Jessy Moss Street Knuckles Price is for on campus delivery only. 25 Ozma Rock And Roll Part Three 26 Flashlight Brown My Degeneration 27 The Fight Home Is Where The Hate Is EP price does not include sales tax 28 Kaito Band-Red 29 Astronaut Wife Flying Saucer 30 Turnerjoy Transplant Please visit us on the web at www.ballyhoo.ws The Rose Thorn Page 6 OPINIONS Friday, May 16, 2003 Alphabet soup, parte dos

I need to say that I am a bit of an probably the only man to be able last week, a friend on my floor a little easier on the eye. I do “I tell orange juice snob. I like orange to pull off the role besides was pumped. So, to finish, Tex- have a question about the ele- juice very much, but most of the Llewelyn. I cannot wait until as is the biggest of the 48 con- ment, though. Is it useful at all, you stuff that’s readily available for Bond 21. tiguous states. I have never been or does it just have a cool name? less than the quantity “an arm Reality Television and Reeves, to Texas, but I hear it is a nice Yellow. On my list of colors, what to and a leg” is not that good. So Keanu. I do not enjoy reality place. yellow is towards the bottom. real orange juice is great, while television. I think it is like stab- U-Scan. The U-Scan makes a Especially with the stigma asso- think!” the quasi-orange flavoured bing knives into the body of the trip to Kroger so much more en- ciated with the dye, Yellow 5, drinks that grocery stores pass comatose, burn victim elderly joyable, and you can even do it yellow suffers pretty fiercely in Brandon Hathaway off as OJ are not. I used the body of television. Hopefully, in Spanish. I do wonder, the popularity scheme as far as knows his A...B...nevermind. British spelling of flavour for this will not be the end of quali- though, how come Kroger only colors are concerned. Have you emphasis. ty television. staffs one cashier after like 10 noticed that whenever you ask, To pick up where I left off last Parentheses and pudiddle. Keanu Reeves is the worst ac- p.m. I have never seen a line so “what’s your favorite color?” week, the list of opinions will Sometimes I have something to tor in Hollywood. long as the time I went to pur- nobody says yellow? It’s be- continue. As a preview of say while writing chase donuts at 11. cause it is not a good color. what’s to come, you will see let- that would not oth- Velazquez, Diego. Ve- Zeta-Jones, Catherine. ters such as “P” and “R.” Last erwise fit in the I use the British spelling of lazquez is my favorite art- Schwing. time, I left you at the noblest let- main body of the flavour for emphasis. ist. His most famous are I hope you learned a lot from ter, M. Rather than waste any work, so for that Las Meninas and The reading this, I know I have. more of your time, I will get purpose, parenthe- Lances. He was Spanish in Like, for example, how the sec- right to M’s retarded cousin, N! ses are definitely my punctua- Staff, Housekeeping and the Baroque period, and you ond half of the alphabet is not as Nickels and Napoleon. Nick- tion of choice. Schwing. The housekeeping should look at his stuff. It is good as the first half. If you els are coins that are worth one The car game, pudiddle, really staff are always friendly, do a good. have a word that you think I left fifth of a quarter and 5 pennies. blew me away the first time I good job, and deserve to be Guantanamo Bay. I could not out and should not have, send an They are also the smallest de- heard about it. I think it is a thanked. So, thanks to all the think of a good one for W, so I e-mail and maybe this time next nomination accepted by vending northern thing. I checked with housekeeping folks, you are ap- picked something I wanted to year you will see it. Thanks for machines. I have to say, though, my Florida friends and they preciated. include. All the terrorist sus- reading, I will be keeping at it that in my experience they are were clueless about this crazy The word “Schwing” is not pects that are being held there next year, unless I unexpectedly next to useless. Pennies actually game as well, so it affirms my used enough anymore. deserve treatment consistent forget how to type. are useless. opinion that northern people are Time Bandits and Texas. This with the rules, both Constitu- is by far my favorite Terry Gil- www.beholder.co.uk Napoleon is one-third of the crazy. tional and International, be- cool French people, because he Q. The coolest character from liam directed, George Harrison cause, after all, they are was brilliant. The other two are the coolest movie franchise ev- produced, weird, weird movie people, regardless in what Alexandre Dumas and the Mar- er, Q from “James Bond.” about midgets traveling through state they were caught. quis de Lafayette. Napoleon Played in 17 of the now 20 mov- time to steal things. It also has Chances are, not every sin- conquered pretty much all of ies by the now deceased Des- appearances from other mem- gle person held at Camp X- Europe until England and Prus- mond Llewelyn, he was one of bers of Monty Python, Sean Ray is guilty. sia decided that was not the best the most memorable characters Connery and Ian Holm. You Xenon. Xenon is my fa- idea. He also had a neat hat. from the series. Now, the part of should check it out. vorite of the noble gases and Orange Juice. Before I begin, Q is played by John Cleese, Since I used Texas in a teaser headlight. The blue color is Rule number five Thorn stuff very well. However, these are things that most The girls: The girls at Kevin most of the time “for fun” everyone should have learned Rose are as different from thank- relationships don’t work out in high school. girls at other colleges as the Spontak so well. That’s why it’s Don’t get me wrong, there guys at Rose from other col- important to figure out early are those here that as I would lege boys. While there are what it is you want out of the say are “smooth and some stone cold cuties here, yous! Dr. Love person, because if you think deadly.” They have their pick most of the girls don’t make We would like to congratu- it’s serious and you pass up of who they want to date at the grade. But that really late all of the graduating seniors the chance for a real relation- any time. This in turn makes isn’t the main difference. for making it through four years ship, you’ll probably be them arrogant, conceded and It’s the ratio. To be cliché as of Rose without killing anyone. kicking yourself for a while. downright mean. But in real- hell, the Rose Goddess is I learned something over We would especially like to “You said something in ity, it’s just too easy for these still in full bloom at school. the last couple of days that thank the seniors who put their your last article about the people. They’re a bunch of You have a bunch of girls really excites me. People time in with the Thorn: Rachel social system at Rose being sharks swimming in a min- who would struggle to find a outside my group of friends Lukens, Drew Wright, Ted retarded, what do you now pool. However, for the date anywhere else being fol- actually read my article. It Chan, Eva Barlow, and John mean?” most part, it is just that lowed around by three or just gives me a warm fuzzy Howard. Without you the Thorn I’m going to put in a quick bunch of minnows in that lit- four boys like little lost pup- feeling inside. You know, would have fallen apart a long tle pool hitting their pies. This can make them that people have time ago. heads together. very snobby at times. This nothing better to do To Dave Piker: we would like The boys: The can also make them very with their time then The Rose Goddess is still in to extend a very big thank you guys that go to this shady. sit down and read for having spent 18 years work- school are a strange The result: You have a my opinion of rela- full bloom at school. ing with our paper. Hopefully, bunch. They have bunch of losers, however tionships. we’ll continue to produce a come here not for a nice, attempting in what I You see, though, I haven’t disclaimer here. I am not quality newspaper. “college experience,” but for would call, a pathetic, at gotten much input as of yet talking about you in this arti- Dr. Richard House: thank you an education. However, that best, attempt to impress a from readers around cam- cle. I may know you and you for stepping in to help us run usually means that in high girl of questionable morals pus. That’s why I originally may be in this situation, but this paper. You’ve had big school they were more con- who blows them off and then believed that people might I’m not talking about you. shoes to fill and have done a cerned about grades than complains that she can’t find not be reading. So, it is my I’m talking about the other tremendous job. We hope they were about women so anyone to date. So, as you new mission to get some type five people I know in the you’ve enjoyed the year as it’s not unlikely to find a guy sit there reading this article, of editorial response before exact same situation as you. much as we have. around here that has never you either agree or disagree I leave here. Now, I’m told And if you’re one of those To the staff: You make it hap- had a serious girl. This is with me. You might even that the only response I can other five people, I’m still pen; we’d be nothing without strange to me, but not all that have some words to say to hope to get is if I really piss not talking about you. I am you and your hard work. We’re uncommon around here. me. So, e-mail me or send someone off. Now that I making no personal attacks done for 3 months…sleep on The one thing they have something to opinions@rose- have said that, I want to on anyone so please, keep Thursday. Yay! going for them is that for the hulman.edu. I would love to make it clear that this article that in mind. And to the faculty, staff and to most part, they are some of hear another opinion on this, is going to be a little bumpy, So, let’s begin shall we? our faithful reader: Without you the nicest people you could either male or female. I so be prepared. So, keep When I say the social struc- there would be no point to mak- ever hope to meet. While a would even love to print your your arms and legs in the car ture here is retarded, I don’t ing this paper. All the stress, good deal of them are anti- response, assuming that you at all times, sit back and mean in that typical guy lack of sleep, and bad grades social, annoying and are in leave out most expletives enjoy the ride. sense, “Oh, that’s retarded.” are all worthwhile when we see every sense of the word, a when writing. You even have Rule Number 5: Figure out I mean that it is behind that you reading our work. tool, they are mostly the summer to make it extra, early if you’re dating some- of other places of the same Keep reading and we’ll keep upstanding, caring people. super good. So, I hope all of one for love or for fun. age and intelligence level. printing. It’s just that in college girls you have a great summer and Don’t get me wrong, there’s For the amount of intelligent, Thank you for a wonderful aren’t looking for a stable, seriously, take advantage of no problem in dating a girl/ rational people that go to this year and have a great summer. nice guy. They’re looking the social structure that isn’t boy for fun. Maybe she/he is school, the amount of stupid- for excitement. I mean, it’s Rose. Chances are that really cute. Maybe she/he is ity, as far as dating goes, is The Editors-in-Chief college, that’s what you’re you’ll still be here next year. a good kisser or does other massive. For the most part, Luke Stark supposed to want. Bob Schulein The Rose Thorn Friday, May 16, 2003 SPORTS Page 7 A new NBA champion Towers” Tim Duncan and mento Kings series to any of the teams not making the Trevor Claffey David Robinson acting as face in the Western Con- playoffs to have a chance at the Staff Writer two powerful 7-foot-tall ference finals, while the top three picks if they get the presences up front, and eastern bracket of the right ping-pong balls. even won a title in the playoffs matches the New The lottery is supposed to 1998-1999 season, but Jersey Nets, who already work as a compromise, one faced a serious roadblock closed out their series which allows teams with the from the Lakers the fol- against the Celtics with a worst records to have the best lowing three seasons. 4-0 sweep, with the win- chance at obtaining a top pick, Thursday night, the San Anto- The teams went separate ner of the Philadelphia but offers enough “randomness” nio Spurs eliminated the Los ways this season, with the 76ers/Detroit Pistons se- to curb teams from trying to lose Angeles Lakers with a dominat- Lakers struggling early in ries. games just for the sake of get- ing 110-82 win that closed out the season before finally Even if your favorite ting a top pick. However, a lot the best-of-seven playoff series climbing into a decent team isn’t still playing, of people have examined the with a 4-2 record. This win end- playoff position and los- the off season offers some outcomes of the lottery and ed an amazing three-year run by ing all four regular season interest. The NBA Draft questioned its randomness. the Lakers, in which they won match ups with the Spurs, is projected to have some Interestingly enough, the team three titles, posted an all-time while the Spurs climbed of the most talented play- with the worst record generally best playoff record of 15-1 in to the best regular-season ers in quite some time, does not fare well in getting a 2001, and earned arguably well- record of the year, 60-22, like Syracuse guard Car- top pick. Some people suggest- deserved comparisons to the and appeared to be con- Photo Courtesy www.nba.com melo Anthony, Texas ed that with the NBA’s ties to previous Laker runs with Magic siderably improved in of- guard TJ Ford, and (sur- New York, the Knicks’ winning Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar fense while maintaining a first playoff round and taking prise, surprise) LeBron #1 pick Patrick Ewing 20 years and Jerry West, the Michael Jor- stalwart defense. two of the playoff games against James. The arrangement in ago despite barely missing the dan Bulls and the Celtics teams The Lakers could never be the Spurs, but all good things which teams will be able to se- playoffs was rigged. Whether with Bill Russell and of course counted out as they appeared to had to come to an end for them. lect players will be determined your favorite team is done or good old ISU grad Larry Bird. have turned the corner in putting The Spurs await the winner of this coming Thursday, as the not, the NBA thus makes for fun The Spurs had a lot of suc- the Timberwolves away in the the Dallas Mavericks-Sacra- NBA Draft Lottery will allow watching and following cessful seasons, with “Twin NCAA decides on sanctions for U. Michigan By Gennaro Filice against the University in order Many Michigan faithfuls NCAA and NIT tournaments, time, but found no wrongdoing Michigan Daily (U. Michigan) to protect the postseason oppor- share Coleman’s displeasure but the Wolverines are eligible by the coach. 05/12/2003 tunities of current, and as we ac- with the postseason ban, but to play in the Big Ten Tourna- “There was no direct evidence knowledge, uninvolved student- Yeager says it could have been ment. that [Fisher] was involved in the (U-WIRE) ANN ARBOR, athletes,” Committee Chair Tho- much worse. Most of these violations took violations. Hence there’s no Mich. - For what it called, “one mas Yeager said by teleconfer- “A two-year postseason ban place while Steve Fisher -- cur- penalty,” Yeager said. of the three or four most egre- ence. isn’t the worst that could’ve rently head coach at San Diego In July, Webber will be on tri- gious violations of NCAA by- The Committee of Infractions happened by any stretch,” Yea- State -- held the head coaching al for obstruction of justice and laws in the history,” the NCAA is an independent administrative ger said. “When the committee position at Michigan. The lying to a federal grand jury Division I Committee on Infrac- body composed of representa- evaluated all these factors, and NCAA said there were many about his relationship with Mar- tions banned the University of tives from NCAA member insti- gave sufficient weight to the “red flags” that Fisher should tin. Michigan’s men’s basketball tutions and the general public. University’s cooperation, miti- have picked up on during the team from next year’s postsea- All members either have experi- gation, age of son on Thursday. The committee ence in athletic departments or the case, self- ** Remember that this deal expires on 5/31/03 ** also ruled that the program will law. imposed pen- be placed on probation until No- Another stipulation in Michi- alties, we felt vember 2006 and lose one of its gan’s punishment will be com- it was a two- Tired of 13 scholarships each year for pletely disassociating itself from year case in four years starting in the 2004- the four players for the next 10 which one has 05 academic year. years -- the largest disassocia- already been Michigan’s violations date all tion ever handed out by the served.” studying for the way back to the early ‘90s NCAA. Under the disassocia- If the appeal Fab Five era, and involved four tion, Michigan cannot receive fails, the former Wolverines -- Chris any assistance (including finan- 2003-04 sea- those ninth- Webber, Robert Traylor, Mau- cial) from the quartet and is son will be rice Taylor and Louis Bullock -- barred from giving them any Michigan’s who altogether received over benefit or privilege, either di- second week tests and endless $616,000 from now-deceased rectly or indirectly, that is not straight cam- booster Ed Martin. available to the general public. paign with a University President Mary The NCAA also expects the postseason Sue Coleman admitted that the University to implement other ban. But, ac- homework assign- basketball program deserves ad- actions to eliminate their in- cording to ditional punishment by the volvement in the athletic pro- point guard NCAA, but not in the form of gram, and completely remove Daniel Horton ments??? another year of postseason ban. them from all University -- who will be She says that the University will records. a sophomore “completely accept” the proba- Last November, the Universi- next season -- tion, loss of scholarships and ty self-imposed a number of the team re- disassociation aspects, but in- penalties that went into effect in mains opti- tends to appeal the postseason the 2002-03 season. Besides mistic, and no Well, take sanction. banning itself from any 2003 one has any “We’ve always accepted re- postseason play and placing it- intentions to sponsibility for the concerns self on two years of probation, leave the pro- raised by the NCAA and by the Michigan basically erased all gram. a break, Infractions Committee that are existence of the four aforemen- “Every- displayed in this report,” Cole- tioned players by forfeiting 112 body’s coming man said. “We own the wrong- regular-season and tournament back [for next get together with some doing, and we own the games which they took part in, season],” Hor- responsibility.” removing four banners from ton said. “I “However, I have to tell you Crisler Arena and eliminating look at [the friends, and get a pizza! that I am disappointed that the all records of the quartet in any possible post- committee’s actions will have printed materials. Michigan also season ban] as the effect of punishing our cur- returned the $450,000 earned another chal- rent, uninvolved student-ath- from postseason appearances in lenge. We can letes with this additional one the ‘90s. show tremen- Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large year ban from postseason play,” “Although the self-imposed dous charac- One-Topping One-Topping she added. penalties are significant and ap- ter if we are Store Hours... Yeager feels that all sanctions propriate, as mitigated for the able to over- Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am

Y Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am were needed, regardless of institution’s cooperation and ef- come this and Y

L Sunday: 12pm - 12am whom they affected. forts to uncover the facts, as still have a 99 L 99

N Campus “The Committee on Infrac- well as the time factor of the great season.” N Campus Only O tions cannot shirk its responsi- time of the violation, the com- Michigan’s 7 O bility to the entire membership mittee concluded that additional postseason 5 Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required by failing to apply meaningful penalties are warranted,” Yea- ban includes ORIGINAL or THIN CRUST where available ORIGINAL or THIN CRUST where available EXPIRES - N/A. Not valid with any other offer. 232-PAPA EXPIRES - N/A. Not valid with any other offer. and appropriate sanctions ger said. both the Valid at participating locations. Customer pays Valid at participating locations. Customer pays all applicable sales tax. Additional toppings all applicable sales tax. Additional toppings Volume 38, Issue 26 “Proudly entertaining and annoying the Rose-Hulman community since some time before now.” Friday, May 16, 2003 Top Ten Reasons A Rose Guy Can't Get a Date Wacky Prof Quotes 10 If we wanted a code monkey we would go buy a digipet. Student: “Oh, shit!” 9 Having conversations with imaginary friends is not ‘being social.’ Dr. McKinney: “That's not a technical description 8 The $0.99 value meal at Wendy's is not a real date. of the failure.” 7 Being in the Hertz Cult isn’t cool, okay. --Dr. McKinney, setting us straight. 6 You know that last shirt you wore...it was on sale for a reason. 5 Too close of a resemblance to the comic book guy on The Simpsons. “It says in the next poem I am a prostitute and a 4 You can grasp the concept of heat transfer, but the idea of water and drug addict.” soap still elude you. --Dr. Williams, showing it’s okay to take a differ- 3 Still scarred by that trip to the Woods? Pansie. ent career path. 2 Chicks that want a guy who can pull an all-nighter aren't talking about that final project due tomorrow. “Alright, let's get moving. Someone turn on some 1 Still can’t work up the nerve to get to first base: eye contact. music, bust out some beers, let's get out of here.” Submitted by a couple of Rose ladies that feel we’ve been giving the girls around here --Prof. Casey, motivating us to work on a Friday. too hard of a time recently. “If you ever want to see a naked Ms. Piggy, I’ve Last Flipside of the Year! got a stash.” Yes, ladies and gents, this is the end. As --Dr. Andy Kinley, and a deadlock example gone usual, the Thorn does not print on 10th terribly terribly wrong… week due to the fact that that its 10th week, and rather than entertain you, we will laugh as you lose your mind right next to “I go around begging for money. That's my main us. Mahahaha! job.” So, we’re just going to burn up some --Dr. Hulbert, at the Learning Center party. space by congratulating all of our graduat- ing seniors (even if they graduated a little “I don't have ot know anything, I just have to early, jerks), and wishing them well in whatever evil mega-corporation, ridiculous stand up and talk loud.” entreprenurial enterprise, or something in --Dr. Eccles, on how to be a professor. between, they end up in. Also, to the rest of you schmucks coming Student: “Do you have anything against Eccles?” back next year, write for the Flipside, or Herniter: “No, but he's old. He's always making I’ll set this guy loose on you. fun of me because I'm young and inexperienced.” --Dr. Herniter, who hasn’t yet learned how to Blatantly stolen from Fark.com stand up and talk loud.

This Week in the News This Week in History This Week at E3 China claims that they have SARS under 1307 A.D. - The Electonics Entertainment Expo is going control, simoltaneously passing a law grant- Italian poet, Dante Alighieri, begins The on, which is a big deal, because fun new titles ing the death penalty to anyone that knowing- Divine Comedy, which is a poem about a jour- like the new “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” ly spreads the disease. For any Canucks out ney through Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. I game are announced. It doesn’t really get any there, like Luke Davis, also seems to wonder which parts are ‘comedy’ exactly. better than that, folks. be safe to visit again. Woo, hockey.

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of The Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It proba- bly doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions, ‘cause it’s all supposed to be a joke, okay? If you’re offended, go blow it out your oversensitive arse! All material is copyright of it’s respective owner.