Transcription of 20ID3342

2 Samuel 13-14 “The Horrible Consequences of Sin” January 8, 2020

Let’s open our tonight to 2 Samuel 13.

Just a quick overview to get us historically where we are, Saul was a man that God had called to be king and, at some point, God set him aside. Nearly forty years of his life he had been king, but the LORD had in mind. He told him when he was yet a youngster, a teenager, that he would be a man after God’s own heart, that he would serve as a king. When Saul died and David, after seven-and-a-half years of running for his life, was brought into the government, he was only really allowed by the people to rule over Judah because in the North, Saul’s family and his cousin, Abner, resisted David’s oversight; wanted to make a way for Saul, who God had rejected. Finally, in 1004 B.C., David, at 37 years old, was given the run of the place; he was made king over all of Israel. He took the Jebusites out of Jerusalem; he established his capital there.

And then, beginning in chapter 6 and chapter 7, David’s first line of business was to get the people back to walk with God. They were, after all, God’s people. They hadn’t done that for many, many years. In fact, it had been literally 400 years since Joshua died, and since then, they hadn’t done very well. There were several hundred years of the judges. There were forty years of Saul’s reign. There were six decades of the prophet, Samuel, preaching the gospel, and yet the nation had not come back around to serve the LORD. David made that his first order of business. He was a man after God’s own heart for sure. He, with some difficulty, returned the ark of the LORD – God’s presence – into the national life. But seeing it sitting outside his palace under a tent, he felt bad. He thought, “Man, I should build the LORD a beautiful place to be worshipped.” And he was told by the LORD, through the prophet, that God wouldn’t want him to build that; he was a man of war, he had established the nation, that his son would be allowed to build it. But along with that refusal came God’s promise to David that he would be in the lineage of the promised Messiah, that someone from his family would always be on the throne forevermore, and it just blew David’s mind. In fact David, as a poet- songwriter, was just flabbergasted, “Oh, man, that the LORD would do this for me!”

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When we come to chapter 8, there is a report of David’s major campaigns to reclaim the land. It had been overrun by so many enemies over the years, much of it because the people weren’t walking with God. But through David’s leadership, and by that campaign, the kingdom of Israel spread and expanded to almost the places that God would speak about to . Actually it had a long way to go, but it was as close as it would have ever gotten and would ever get until the Lord comes.

In chapter 9, David fulfills a promise made to Saul, his enemy really, and his son Jonathan, his friend, to take care of his family. He took in one of Jonathan’s sons. His name was Mephibosheth. He had been dropped at age 5 on his head; it had left him unable to walk, lame in both of his feet.

In chapter 10, the LORD then continued to bless David. They took on the Syrians. They subjugated the Syrians to Israel. And then, with all of that going on so well, David, in power, God’s blessing continuously, the kingdom expanding, you would expect, in chapter 11, to go, “Well, that’s just gonna continue.” But it doesn’t. In fact, we run into a problem for David with a woman named Bathsheba. We spent a long time in chapter 11 talking about some of the things that we learned in the narrative – that tells us why David had a problem. For one thing, he stayed home when everyone else was out sowing and serving and reaching out and fighting the battles against the Ammonites in . David was very idle. He was, by this time, 50 years old. And idleness is not ever good for you. You want to stay busy in serving the Lord. He had wandering eyes. He was a man that loved women; he married a lot of them. It was certainly one of his weaknesses. And, in the midst of all of these good things, it was an area that David needed to address, and a lot of times, he didn’t. And we talked about how sin grows. First it was lust, then it was adultery, then it was deceit; eventually it became premeditated murder – all schemes to cover David’s sin. By the time you get to the end of chapter 11, you might think that David did a great thing – at least the people might have. He took a widow from her husband who had been killed in battle, and he took her in for himself, married her, and then raised this child with her. The people probably applauded. Trust me, the LORD did not.

Between chapter 11 and 12, well over a year passes. David has not repented. The baby has been born. God is silent outwardly, but the Holy Spirit was screaming in David’s ear because He just doesn’t leave us to be in rebellion, if you will. The LORD said to him, in Psalm 50:21, “You did all of these things, and I kept silent; you

2 thought that I was altogether like you; but I’m going to rebuke you, and I’m going to set these things in order before your eyes.” And so, for this year, David suffered tremendously. You can read a couple of the chapters that he wrote during that time, especially chapter 32 of Psalms, chapter 51 as well; and David will refer to the emotional trauma he’s been going through. He couldn’t sleep, he’d lost his vision, he wasn’t seen very much in public. It would seem, from all indications, he was pretty sick physically because of the depression and the guilt and the trying to hide the thing. And it was a miserable year for David as his conscience convicted him, as the Holy Spirit leaned on him. I always remember that story about Jesus, when those men brought that woman caught in the act of adultery, and then you read about Jesus writing in the dirt. And then you read in John 8:9 that from the oldest to the youngest, “convicted by their own conscience,” they walked away as Jesus wrote, “Hey, remember last Tuesday, there, buddy? Remember what you did over there on Tuesday?” “Oh, yeah, I gotta go.” It was the conscience that was convicting them and making it difficult for them. So, David had a horrible year. He wrote, in Psalm 32, that his guilt was like cancer; it ate him up from the inside. He had to face the silent horror of his sin, of his lust, of his murder; maybe even seeing his wife from time to time just in tears that she’s lost the husband that she so loved. So, guilt and conviction are not all recorded here in the historical books; you will find them in Psalms 32 and 51. And David disappears from the limelight. He really isn’t seen in public. It really was the reason, a little later, you’ll find working the crowds because David has been so out of touch that the people feel like he doesn’t care anymore; and he said, “Well, I’d be available if I was in charge.”

So, in between chapters 11 and 12, there is this struggle with the Holy Spirit in the heart of this sinful man, David, who knew the LORD, loved the LORD, did some really dumb things; and hiding his sin, fearing the wrath of God because what he did – adultery and murder – are both punishable by death according to the Law. You didn’t get out. There was no out. This was horrible, and it was dangerous for him. David had been prepared by the LORD for God’s mercy. And, in chapter 12, when the LORD sends Nathan the prophet to confront David, David is more than willing to confess, and he does. And the consequences of his sin, the LORD, first of all, says through Nathan, “You’re not going to die. You’re going to survive this.” But then, beginning in verse 8 of chapter 12 through about verse 12 of chapter 12, Nathan lays out specifically the fruit of his sin; not that God didn’t forgive him, He did, immediately. Repentance brings God’s forgiveness, but there are consequences. And for David, these were pretty strong and pretty exacting. “You

3 despised the commandments of the LORD. You did evil in His sight. You took a man’s wife. You had him killed. From now on, the sword isn’t going to depart from your house. I’m going to raise up adversity against you from your own family. Your wives are going to be taken from before your eyes and laid in public with others. You did it in secret; I’m going to do this publicly so that all of Israel might fear the LORD.” And I’m sure David just heard, “I’m not going to die.” But there is this consequence that follows.

Chapter 13, where we come to tonight, is really the end of…….well, let me put it another way. When we get to chapter 20 of this book, the last four chapters are not in chronological order; they are like vignettes of different times in David’s life. So the story stops in chapter 20 until we jump ahead to 1 Kings. But this is about as good as it got with David until now. The rest of these chapters lay out for us and for David the consequences of sin. So, though he has this zenith in chapter 10 – it’s going well - it just kind of falls of the cliff from there. And though the LORD will continue to use him - and certainly David, at the end of this life, is a godly man, and we’re going to see that in a couple of times when Absalom comes to overthrow him, we’ll see David a mature, godly man - a lot of this is tough to deal with because once you decide to head down the road of sin, it’s hard to turn around, hard to come back.

So tonight chapters 13 and 14 cover seven of the last twenty years of David’s life; he would die at 70 years old. These are the seven years after his 50th birthday or so. It is horrible when sin bites you. It is worse when sin’s consequences hurt those that you love. And maybe that’s when you start to go, “Man, I can’t do this any longer,” and we quickly want to value the walk that we have with the Lord. And for David, his weakness was with women; he had a lot of marriages. His laxness was his parenting – very rarely raised his voice against his children, didn’t show much leadership in the home. I suspect a lot of it’s because there were a lot of homes. How do you keep up with all of this? Hard enough to keep one home together. David had tens of homes. And so you find David failing much of the time as a father, taking the easy, indulgent route – impulsive emotions, judgments without knowing the whole story, rarely disciplining everyone. He sounds a lot more like Eli in chapter 3 of 1 Samuel; he allowed his sons to sin with very little accountability or consequences. But at least after the sin with Bathsheba, the reason David was in that position was they were going to throw at him, “Hey, remember what you did?” He was in no position to chastise anyone. Right? He put himself in a place of powerlessness in many ways. David’s transgression, his lustful life, his negligence

4 as a father, would lead to all of these troubles that the LORD prophesied through the prophet in chapter 12. There is a verse in Jeremiah 2:19, and this is what it says, “Your own wickedness will correct you, and your backslidings will rebuke you.” In other words, a lot of the punishment for sin is built in to the consequences of sin. The Lord doesn’t need to do anything; you do it, and the consequences say, and you suffer the consequences. And so that’s certainly the case in David’s life. So, a couple of sad chapters but lots to learn so that we can avoid this position altogether.

Verse 1 of chapter 13, “After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.” As we said, David had a lot of wives. You can see some of them listed in chapter 3 of this book. With a lady named , who was a pagan from Syria, he had a son named Absalom and a daughter named Tamar. With another woman named Ahinoam, a woman from Jezreel, David had a son named Amnon; he was his firstborn and would have been, according to chapter 3 of this book, the rightful heir to the throne. So he was his firstborn; he was his older boy, but it was with a different mother. Amnon, however, already displays the sins of his father, as is often the case. He is consumed with his lust, wants to fulfill it with his half-sister, at any cost. We read he was physically, emotionally sick that he couldn’t have her. He would sacrifice the throne if need be. But here’re the depths of sin, that it can drag you down. How foolish is this…….for a woman that, really, you should have no interest in and certainly never entertain a thought. Even the would not have allowed this kind of marriage to take place at all.

We read, in verse 3, “But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.” (Not a good thing to have friends that are “crafty.”) “And he said to him, ‘Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?’ Amnon said to him, ‘I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.’ So Jonadab said to him, ‘Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.” ’ Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, ‘Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.’ And David sent home to Tamar, saying, ‘Now go to

5 your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.’ ” He had a friend. Well, actually, it was his cousin – sneaky, crafty. Hearing of Amnon’s desire, he doesn’t really rebuke him like he should. Not really a good friend. Rather, he suggests a way to scheme to get her on her own. Pretty sad house when these plots are being made. Notice, in verse 4, that Amnon calls his lust “love.” It’s not the first time or the last time that that word is misused. Amnon did what he was told, and David fell for it, and there we go.

“So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house;” verse 8, “and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, ‘Have everyone go out from me.’ And they all went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, ‘Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.’ And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, ‘Come, lie with me, my sister.’ But she answered him, ‘No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.’ However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.” Amnon first sought to attract Tamar’s attention with a lurid invitation. Just came right out and said it. She was horrified. She was not in a position to argue much in her position as a woman in the culture. She tried to reason with him, asked him to be wise not just emotional; pointed out it would ruin her life, it would certainly ruin his. Where could she hide her shame? He’ll lose the throne. She even offered to marry him. “I’m sure Dad wouldn’t keep me from you if that’s what we both wanted.” Even though the Law of God forbid half-sisters being married, she thought David would say that was all right. Amnon, instead, won’t take no for an answer; he’s pretty excited now that she’s there, and so he just takes her and rapes her. Amnon’s deaf response to all of her pleas shows the hatred and the violence that is pretty hard to equivocate. You see a lot of it today as well. But you put Jeremiah 17:9 in the margin, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked,” and here’s a young man that is absolutely all of those things. And he has his way with her. Tamar was defenseless, she was violated, she was shamed, and she was scarred. But look at the deceitfulness of our flesh and how flesh can be destroyed through lust. We often hear people say, “Well, let’s make love,” especially when it’s

6 two people fulfilling their fleshly desires like animals in heat. It’s instinctive, it’s self-serving, it’s immoral. There’s no love there. Mislabled for sure.

Selfish Amnon, when this was all over with, verse 15, “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, ‘Arise, be gone!’ So she said to him, ‘No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.’ But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, ‘Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.’ Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.” Amnon, selfishly taking what he wanted rather than being satisfied, is now nauseated with his own sin, turning himself into the victim because sin doesn’t satisfy. And may I say to you, if you are young and you are dating, and if that boy that you’re dating says, “If you love me, you’ll sleep with me,” turn that loser in now and find a godly man. If you don’t know of any, call me. I’ll do interviews with you….as long as we can get rid of the creep. The sooner the better. So she goes home. She cries. She says to this boy, “This is worse off than raping me. You’re kicking me out of the house.” And she tears her virgin robe which she had proudly worn. She goes home.

Well, at home, her real brother, Absalom, is there, and he says to her, verse 20, “ ‘Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.’ So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.” Her brother quickly figured out what was going on. I guess this fellow, Amnon, had not a very good reputation. She admits to what happened. He asks that she keep it to herself, which is not good to do, and stay at home with him until he can work it out. David, notice, his response was anger. All right. What are you gonna do about it? And the answer is David did nothing about it. Why did David do nothing about it? Because David was guilty also, and it’s hard to point your finger at someone else when there’re three pointing back at you. He’s in a difficult place to say anything. So, even though the Scriptures are very clear (there in Leviticus 20:17) that if a man takes his sister, his father’s daughter or his mother’s daughter, sees her nakedness and takes her for himself, he shall be cut off, he’ll be put to death.

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This was a murderous offense, capital punishment case in God’s eyes. Why was David silent? Well, like I said, his own sin no doubt put him in limbo, and then he’s very lax, “Oh, it’ll all work out.” You know, he had twenty homes to deal with. And he does absolutely nothing which turns out to be a pretty big problem.

Now , David’s son – who followed in much of his father’s footsteps when it came to lust and women, at least in the times he was away from the LORD - was a man that when he asked God for a gift, and God said, “What do you want?” he said, “I want to be wiser than everybody that ever lived,” and the LORD said, “You got it. And with it, I’ll give you power as well.” When Solomon was walking with God, he would write much about parental discipline, about spiritual leadership, about purity and holiness. “If you spare the rod, you’re going to spoil your son; if you love him, you’re going to discipline him properly” (Proverbs 13:24). “Foolishness is in the heart of a child; a rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). He had a lot of advice about staying close to your kids. Don’t let them just run away and get away with it. And unfortunately too many kids today are being left alone by their parents.

When Adonijah, who is another one of David’s sons and Absalom’s younger brother (same family), would seek (later on) to overthrow his father – and we won’t get to that until chapter 1 of 1 Kings – when we read there of what had possessed this young man to go after his father’s throne, you read his father had never rebuked him at any time or asked him what he was doing. He was a good-looking man. He was the second born to his mother after Absalom. Good looking kid. Had a lot of things going on. But Dad, David, never once asked him what he was up to. So that gives you a pretty good idea of the father who’s not involved.

We read, in verse 23, “And it came to pass, after two full years” (oh, man, that’s a long time to be angry) “that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons” (all of the boys from all of the different families). “Then Absalom came to the king and said, ‘Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.’ But the king said to Absalom, ‘No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.’ Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. Then Absalom said, ‘If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.’ And the king said to him, ‘Why should he go with you?’ But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him” (to this party; their celebration of the sheep multiplying and the wool being taken; it was payday, it was harvest time). Absalom,

8 who had a pagan mother, hated his father for never doing anything about this whole rape, hated his brother Amnon, certainly, seethed for two years. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get even, but I’m gonna do it somehow.” Revenge was on his mind. And I think David was a little bit aware of it. David goes, “Well, we don’t want to all burden you.” But I think David didn’t want everybody over there; he knew there was a lot of friction. Finally talked him into just letting Amnon come. And I think David was very uneasy. Maybe David thought – because this is narrative so we have to kind of put ourselves in the picture – finally they’re going to be reconciled, there’s going to be some peace in the family. Maybe that’s what he hoped for. Additionally, Absalom was the third in line to the throne. If Amnon died, Absalom would move up to number two. There was another kid named Chileab who you can’t find in the Bible; I mean, he shows up at birth, and then we don’t know what happened to him. It could be he was gone, too. So Absalom’s doing the arithmetic, “Three, two, one…..I could move up anyway.” The Bible gives us no clue. So I don’t know what the motive….we know the motive for Absalom was murder and then maybe politics. And Dad, I guess, hoped for the best but probably thought this wasn’t going to go so well.

We read, in verse 28, “Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, ‘Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, “Strike Amnon!” then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.’ So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.” Nobody hangin’ around to fight together; this family did not get along. Nobody stood with each other whatsoever. Premeditated murder was the result of David having let it go unresolved for so long. The servants of Absalom had courage enough to disagree. If they disagreed, they didn’t do anything about it. And David’s other sons, they all ran to protect themselves.

Verse 30, “And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David,” (but the news had already kind of gotten out of whack as news will go) “saying, ‘Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!’ So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab” (remember, he’s the guy that said, ‘Amnon, hey, just have her come over and cook for you’) “the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, ‘Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.

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Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.’ ” So the exaggerated reports are cleaned up by the guy who really instigated the thing to begin with. And it had gone on for two years; he’d been planning this for two years. That’s what his friend said. “From the day you did nothing, this has been on his mind.”

Well, then we are told, in verse 34, “Then Absalom” (after this) “fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. And Jonadab said to the king, ‘Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.’ So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of . And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.” So, Absalom flees to Syria. Syria is where his mom was from, where he could go hide, if you will. He would stay there for three years. Nothing David could do to bring him back. He was hiding. David apparently, from verse 37, was torn with emotion. He didn’t know what to do, verse 39. Some days he wanted to see him; other days he wanted to kill him. We read, in verse 39, that David “longed,” and then, in verse 1 of chapter 14, you read the word “concerned.” They’re both passive. In other words, David was up one day and down the next. “I want to kill him, I want to forgive him. I love him, I want him dead.” As maybe you can relate to. So David was hurting and grieving and living with the consequences of years of inaction; parental misuse of the word “love” for his kids. He hasn’t really done anything. All driving back to this whole thing with Bathsheba because – well, at least in part – he couldn’t say anything. So, I think if you stay involved with your kids, you’re probably better off making an enemy of them from time to time rather than trying to make a friend all the time in the hopes that you’ll save what you probably will lose in the long run. David, two years, did nothing. Son gets killed. It’s actually a biblical thing, you know? It would have been…..if the priests would have been involved, this probably would have happened. And then three years of Absalom being away; five years pass. David is now in his mid-50’s, if you will.

Chapter 14:1, “So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom.” Now you remember Joab. Joab was not a godly man. He was one of the three kids of David’s sister. He was sometimes in charge of the

10 army; other times he was put down because he didn’t obey his orders, if you will. But he’d been the guy that had led the children of Israel into Jerusalem over the Jebusites. Anyway, he’s a tough guy. Notice he noticed that David wanted to make things right, and so he thought, “Well, I’ll get involved. No matter who wins here – David or Absalom – at least I’ll be lookin’ pretty. I tried to be matchmaker and peacemaker.” So, he wanted to meddle to his own benefit, if you will. “A king and his son. I’m in no matter what happens.”

Verse 2, “And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman, and said to her, ‘Please pretend to be a mourner,’ ” (sounds like deception to me) “ ‘and put on mourning apparel; do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. Go to the king and speak to him in this manner.’ So Joab put the words in her mouth.” (“This is what we want you to say.”) “And when the woman of Tekoa spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and prostrated herself, and said, ‘Help, O king!’ Then the king said to her, ‘What troubles you?’ And she answered, ‘Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, “Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.” So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth’ ” (my only living son). Verse 8, “Then the king said to the woman, ‘Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.’ And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, ‘My lord, O king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father’s house, and the king and his throne be guiltless.’ ” (She couldn’t go through with it.) Verse 10, “So the king said, ‘Whoever says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall not touch you anymore.’ Then she said, ‘Please let the king remember the LORD your God, and do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son.’ And he said, ‘As the LORD lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.’ Therefore the woman said, ‘Please, let your maidservant speak another word to my lord the king.’ And he said, ‘Say on.’ So the woman said: ‘Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again. For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. Now therefore, I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king because the

11 people have made me afraid. And your maidservant said, “I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his maidservant. For the king will hear and deliver his maidservant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God.” Your maidservant said, “the word of my lord the king will now be comforting; for as the angel of God, so is my lord the king in discerning good and evil. And may the LORD your God be with you.” ’ ”

And David, catching on to this now, verse 18, “Then the king answered and said to the woman, ‘Please do not hide from me anything that I ask you.’ And the woman said, ‘Please, let my lord the king speak.’ So the king said, ‘Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?’ And the woman answered and said, ‘As you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has spoken. For your servant Joab commanded me, and he put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant. To bring about this change of affairs your servant Joab has done this thing; but my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that is in the earth.’ ” So, interesting to me that Joab would find a woman who’s good at words. By the way, the word “wise” here means cunning (in verse 2) or shrewd, if you will. And she’s a pretty good actress. She gets David to sign on in protecting her one last son; the other one had been killed and all. And she finally says, “Kind of like you. You want to do justice for me, but you’re not bringing justice to your own family.” David, not being a dumb guy, said, “Did you get put up to this?” and she goes, “Yeah, I did.” But I want you to notice, in verse 10 down through verse 17 (I know we read it fairly quickly), that David’s emotional outlook in all of this is that you see his kindness, you see his justice. All of his emotions had been running wild for years. The woman even says to David, “I know you know what’s right and wrong. So do the right thing. Come on. You can make this right.” We read in verses 18 and 19 and 20, as David sees it, that he understands what they’re trying to do, and he’s not angry; he’s not sure he can pull this off.

Verse 21, “And the king said to Joab, ‘All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.’ ” (“All right. Let’s get this over with.”) Verse 22, “Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, ‘Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant.’ So Joab arose and went to Geshur,” (Syria) “and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. And the king said, ‘Let him return to his own house, but do not let him

12 see my face.’ So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king’s face.” And so Absalom is back in the country, but he is now left separated from his father, still. We will read, down in verse 28, that this will last two more years; two years for the rape to be resolved, three years after the murder – isolated, two years coming home to be with his father. Still nothing has been resolved, if you will. David can’t get over it. He’s seething in his anger. He refuses to see his son. The conflict is not good; it’s raging.

We read, in verse 25, “Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head – at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him – when he cut it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels according to the king’s standard.” So, it weighed five pounds. Long-haired dude. Verse 27, “To Absalom were born three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar” (after his sister). “She was a woman of beautiful appearance. And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face.” So here’s the picture, and we’re going to get it in the next chapter – Absalom comes home, and Dad doesn’t want to talk to him. Absalom gets involved in the community. He has sons and a daughter. It’s been seven years now – two years, three years, two years – since this has been dealt with. It has gone on way too long.

So, finally, verse 29, Absalom had had enough. We read there, “Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he sent again the second time, he would not come.” (He didn’t want to deal with this.) It was no longer a benefit to Joab, I think. Verse 30, “So he said to his servants, ‘See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.’ And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.” That seemed to get his attention.

And so, verse 31, “Then Joab arose and came to Absalom’s house, and said to him, ‘Why have your servants set my field on fire?’ And Absalom answered Joab, ‘Look, I sent to you, saying, “Come here so that I may send you to the king, to say, ‘Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.’ ” (“I have family there.”) “ ‘Now therefore, let me see the king’s face; but if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me.’ ” (“We’re gonna not let this go.”) Verse 33, “So Joab went to the king” (forced the issue) “and told him. And when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before

13 the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.” On the surface it all looked better, but in reality this had been going on way too long, and now it was well too late. We won’t get to chapter 15 tonight, but don’t forget what we just read because in the next chapter, the motivation for what Absalom is about to do is found in these seven years. And his plan was, “Everyone likes me. I think I could get enough people together to vote for me and just get my dad kicked out of office altogether. He’s a hard-hearted, old, grouchy man who’s done a lot of wrong things. He wouldn’t deal with my sister’s rape. Should have. But he didn’t. So I have great motivation to see him removed from office.” The years had left both with little ability to love each other; there was no forgiveness on either side. Lack of responsibility and now a father had lost his son for good. Very different than Joseph (Genesis 50), who softened with his heart before the LORD when he met his brothers who had sold him into slavery; loved them truly, told them that he would take care of them, that he realized what they had planned to do against him, God would use it for good. “God sent me to preserve your life.” And when he saw his brothers, he could barely stay away from hugging them, kidding them, grabbing them. He loved them even though they had persecuted him so. But this is different. No one’s getting along here at all.

So, here’re some consequences of sin, laid open: no forgiveness, no mercy, no parenting, no rights, no leadership. All in a man’s heart who loves the LORD, God greatly used. It’s the problem for Christians, not just for the world.

If you go back to chapter 14 here, verse 14 – and we’ll end with this since my voice is ending anyway – the woman said to David, as she began to speak to him, “Help me, O king,” and she laid out all of the things that she was concerned about. She said to him, “We’re all going to die. One day we’re going to be spilled out like water on the ground. We can’t be gathered back into the cup.” Her point was if bitterness and pride continued, one day death will eliminate any chance of resolution. So don’t let it go this long. Don’t let it take so long. The death, in this relationship, happened in the heart long before in the body. You see it in families all the time. We, unfortunately, have families come in sometimes who are having financial trouble and go, “Could the church help us?” “So where’s your family?” “Oh, we don’t get along.” “Well, great. Now you’re in trouble. Maybe this is the time to fix it because you need some help.” “Oh, I don’t want to fix it. We want you to be our family.” “I can’t do that. Go talk to your parents, go talk to your brother, your sister.” So, done a lot of funerals over the years and have seen people gather around caskets at funerals, unable to resolve their conflicts in peace. So says this

14 woman to David, “Resolve this now because Absalom will not be able to respond later. He’s not going to be able to read the nice, flowery things you’re going to say at his funeral.” I always thought it was an interesting custom that we send flowers to funerals to honor the dead. And I usually say at funerals, “You that sent flowers, send them to somebody you love before they die. They’ll appreciate ‘em more.” Nobody ever takes me up on it.

David was angry with Absalom, but David’s sins were certainly as grave. He had tried for years to hide it; wasn’t good. Absalom was waiting for his dad to do the right thing, and Dad didn’t do it. David, God forgave you. How ‘bout you forgive your son? You’re obligated to forgive. And we don’t do that so readily with some, and we’ll do it with others. But God’s not a respecter of persons at all (Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11). So we read, here in verse 14, “God will devise the means.” And I love that. She says, “We’re all going to die. God’s no respecter of persons. God will devise a way where you can fix these kinds of things.” For us, Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden. Their intimate relationship with God was broken by sin, but they left with a promise from God that God would fix it. He would “devise a means.” The Gospel certainly turns out to be the means, the plan that God has. He would send His only begotten Son. He would take our guilt and shame. God would lay upon Him the sins of the world. He would pay for our transgressions. And we could live with Him. God’s whole nature is restorative, it’s regenerative, it’s redemptive. Unfortunately, David will not follow through. This is not getting better; this is getting worse. In fact, in the next chapter or two, this son of his is going to be dead. He’s going to be dead. Killed by Joab. Killed by the very guy that he trusts in. It doesn’t get better, it gets worse. So, die to yourself, make peace; usually a better way to go because God has provided a way for you to get back. You can provide it for others. Right? It’s a very somber chapter. I’m sorry that I didn’t have a lot of jokes tonight. But you’ll laugh at this. Maybe next week.

Submitted by Maureen Dickson January 12, 2020

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