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2007 The Advocate (Vol. 4, Issue 7)

Repository Citation "The Advocate (Vol. 4, Issue 7)" (2007). Student Newspaper (Amicus, Advocate...). 27. https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers/27

Copyright c 2007 by the authors. This article is brought to you by the William & Mary Law School Scholarship Repository. https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers The Advocate VOLUME IV, ISSUE SEVEN WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 31, 2007 WILLIAM & MARY SCHOOL OF LAW

On the undergraduate campus and in the Williamsburg community, deabte swirls over the decision of College administrators to remove the Wren Chapel's cross when Christian services are not in session . Alan Kennedy-Shaffer // W&M Law School. Law Students' Reaction to Removal of Wren Cross Muted

by William Y. Durbin be used by other groups. In ad- for no cross to adorn the altar but fecting the historic building near Editor in Chief dition, William & Mary students, that it would be replaced upon Confusion Corner. alumni, current faculty and staff, request. Nichol cited the several “I read President Nichol’s first and the children of anyone in those secular uses of the chapel and the e-mail,” said Alex Blumenthal (3L), For once, law students are not groups may reserve the chapel for need to make members of all faiths referring to the October message the ones leading the outcry on a their weddings. welcome there as reasons for his informing students of the change controversial issue. No cross adorned the Wren decision. Nichol further explained in policy. “I didn’t go to William While reaction to the removal Chapel until the 1930s, when his decision to remove the cross & Mary as an undergrad, and I’ve of the cross from the Wren Cha- Bruton Parish Church, Colonial from its previously permanent never been in the chapel, but it pel has been strong among many Williamsburg’s Episcopal house of place in a meeting with the Board seemed to be the right decision undergraduates and alumni of the worship, offered the chapel a cross of Visitors on Nov. 16, 2006. Continued on page 2. College of William & Mary, most it no longer needed. Until this past Even before that meeting, of its law students have not seemed October, that cross marked the altar though, disgruntled alumni and INSIDE to notice much. Those who have of the Wren Chapel, but it could be students had sent letters and e- noticed, however, generally support removed by request. mails, signed petitions, and even Dean Lewis Departing...... 3 the decision. Then, in late October 2006, launched a website in protest of The Wren Chapel is part of the College of William & Mary Presi- the president’s decision. Although Inside the D.C. Circuit...... 4 Sir Christopher Wren Building. dent Gene Nichol sent an e-mail to it rejected the measure by a vote Built between 1695 and 1699, all students informing them that the of 4-14-2, the College’s Student PSF Stories...... 6 the Wren Building is the oldest cross in the Wren Chapel had not Assembly considered a bill that academic building in continuous been “banished” but was merely would have returned the cross per- Super Bowl Preview...... 9 use in the United States and the no longer on permanent display. manently to the Wren Chapel altar. signature building of the College. In discussing “the cross that is A controversy was born. Canadian Bacon...... 13 Today, the Wren Chapel primarily sometimes displayed there,” Nichol Meanwhile, down Henry Street, serves religious purposes but may said that the default rule would be little was made of the decisions af- State of the Union Column....15 News 2 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Tips on Finding and Funding Summer Public Service Internships, Including the PSF Application Process by Sarah Abshear service and the student’s commit- nization. Any resume inconsistent service internships. Several can Staff Writer ment to the organization’s issue with the organization’s mission is be found in the Office of Career area. Both should be stressed in likely to be met with questions. For Services, like “Serving the Pub- On Tuesday, Jan. 23, the Of- the student’s cover letter. However, example, if a student has worked lic: A Job Search Guide,” which fice of Career Services conducted Dean Kaplan advised against giv- for a large business organization, a contains listings of public service a workshop on public service ing a “laundry list” of public service legal aid society might wonder if the opportunities across the nation. internships. Dean Robert Kaplan activities in the cover letter. It is student is truly interested in its mis- Students can also find other useful presented helpful tips to students better to focus on a few things and sion. Students should be prepared information, like the list of non- on how to find and fund internships give more information about them. with answers and explanations of William & Mary summer funding for the summer. Students should also beware of por- any such inconsistencies. sources, on the OCS Resources for Dean Kaplan explained that the traying an overly idealistic “knight There are many sources for search for public service intern- in shining armor” aspiration to save finding government and public Continued on page 4. ships differs from other internships the world. Students may want to in several important ways. Public acknowledge the challenges the Wren Chapel Cross Controversy, Even after the events of the fall, service organizations often have organization faces and their will- continued from cover. the issue continued to unfold. In smaller staffs and fewer resources ingness to tackle them. an e-mail to students on December than the private sector. Lawyers Interviews can also be different 20, 2006, Nichol announced two are consequently very busy, so it with government and public service to me, especially considering that changes to the placement of the is especially important to follow organizations. Hypotheticals are we’re a state school.” cross in Wren Chapel. First, the up on interviews. Telephone and very common. They want to hear Other law students shared cross will now be displayed all video conference interviews are how students sort through issues. Blumenthal’s general awareness day Sunday. Second, a permanent more common with public service For example, a prosecutor might and support of the move. plaque will “commemorate the organizations, especially if they ask a student what he or she would “I have not paid much attention Chapel’s origins as an Anglican are distant. For tips on how to do if asked to prosecute a case when to the situation at all—I think I read place of worship and symbol of effectively conduct these types of it seemed likely the defendant was one email from President Nichol, the Christian beginnings of the interviews, students should consult innocent. Public service organiza- and that is it,” said Kevin Kennedy College.” their OCS Manuals. tions may also test students’ com- (3L), president of the Christian Although this arrangement may Public service organizations mitment. They don’t want to think Legal Society. “Christianity is have helped damp the flames, it look for different qualities in ap- students are working for them only meaningless without the death of may simply have come too late to plicants than large firms and similar because they couldn’t get a job Jesus on the cross, so if a church placate some interests. employers. Grades and academics with a big firm. Students should was removing the symbol of a cross, “I think that if President Nichol are given much less emphasis. Far be prepared with concrete reasons I would take that as a bad sign for had taken the temperature of more more important are prior public why they want to work for the orga- that church. But William & Mary groups before the removal of the isn’t a church, and I don’t expect cross, a compromise could have it to act like one. Only displaying been worked out in private instead The Advocate the cross for distinctly Christian of having the debate take place on services in the chapel is probably the editorial pages of Virginia’s "Complete and objective reporting of student news and opinion" a good decision.” newspapers,” said Les Boswell Members of other faiths echoed (3L), another 2003 graduate of the Editor-in-Chief: William Y. Durbin Editorial Policy Kennedy’s sentiments. College. News Editors: Kelly J. Pereira The letters and opinion pages of Jennifer Stanley “I was vaguely aware of the Indeed, Nichol and the Col- Copy Editor: Kate Yashinski The Advocate are dedicated to all controversy, but it was certainly not lege continue to sort out the issue Features Editors: Alan Kennedy-Shaffer student opinion regardless of form looming in my mind,” said Shana in public. The president used the Mike Kourabas or content. The Advocate reserves Asim Modi Hofstetter (2L), president of the occasion of his first State of the Col- Business Manager: Tara St. Angelo the right to edit for spelling and Jewish Law Students Association. lege address Thursday to announce Layout Editor: Myriem Seabron grammar, but not content. “A cross is a religious symbol, and, that he had formed a committee Photographer: Joelle Laszlo Ad & Collage Design: Tara St. Angelo Letters to the Editor and opinion if by nothing else, that’s proven by to examine the place for religion Cartoonist: Carolyn Fiddler articles may not necessarily reflect the fact that there were no activities in public universities. He stated by Jewish or Muslim groups until Staff Writers: Alan Kennedy-Shaffer the opinion of the newspaper or that Marshall-Wythe’s Prof. Alan Sarah Abshear Mike Kourabas its staff. All letters to the Editor the cross was taken down. But I Meese and the College’s emeritus David Bules Asim Modi should be submitted by 5 p.m. on can understand the controversy chair of the Religion Department Matt Dobbie Nathan Pollard considering that some see the cross would co-chair the committee. William Y. Durbin Kelly J. Pereira the Thursday prior to publication. Meghan Horn Tara St. Angelo The Advocate will not print a as a piece of history.” “I feel bad for President Nichol Even law students who attended because I think he’s doing a tre- Contributors: Christina Revels letter without confirmation of the Megan Erb Lavonda Rowe author's name. We may, however, the College as undergraduates were mendous job as President of the Daron Janis Bereket Tesfu on board with the president. withhold the name on request. Let- College,” Boswell said. “I hope “The solution seems perfectly the firestorm surrounding the cross Address Correspondence To: ters over 500 words may be returned reasonable,” said Mike Spies (3L), will soon blow over and we can The Advocate to the writer with a request that William & Mary School of Law who graduated from the College return our focus to the more press- the letter be edited for the sake of P. O. Box 8795 in 2003. “If you want [the cross], ing issues confronting William & Williamsburg, Virginia 23187 space. (757) 221-3582 you can get it.” Mary.” News THE ADVOCATE 3 Farewell Dean Lewis

by Kelly Pereira Amazingly, he knew that he wanted News Editor to work in job placement since his junior year of college. The work is After five and a half years, Dean “everything I thought it would be Brian Lewis is moving on. As of and more,” said Dean Lewis. He March 2, Dean Lewis will be de- was mainly attracted to the work parting W&M to take the position of because of the people component, Assistant Dean for Career Services but he was surprised to find that at UNC-Chapel Hill Law. There there was a large administrative will be a reception in his honor on component as well. Fortunately, the afternoon of Friday, March 2. he also enjoys that aspect of his Dean Lewis explained that he had job. Dean Lewis loves the work nothing but positive experiences that he does, and his goal is to pass at W&M, but it was simply time that on. “My job is to help students to move on. maximize the chances they will find Opportunity is knocking for the same,” he said. both Dean Lewis and his wife at Dean Reveley said of Dean Chapel Hill. Dean Lewis will be Lewis, “It’s been wonderful having the head of an office of five staff Dean Lewis at Marshall-Wythe, members. He had to be encour- and not just for his superb work in aged to apply for the job several career services. He and his wife times by a former employee of Mary have also contributed richly UNC. Better career opportunities on the singing front. Most of us Dean Lewis will depart OCS in March. Alan Kennedy-Shaffer // for his wife finally convinced him have heard them making great W&M Law School. to leave W&M. His wife currently music together. We will miss commutes to VCU in Richmond to the Lewises very much and send throughout the country.” Lewis and his wife will perform at work as a public health researcher. them to Chapel Hill with our best Dean Lewis will be leaving his Sacred Grounds on Feb. 24 from Chapel Hill and its environs have wishes.” rock and roll band behind, but the 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. (no cover). several opportunities: UNC itself Dean Kaplan said, “Dean Lewis band will play on as a four-piece Dean Lewis leaves behind a has the second ranked public health is expert at his work and a great guy, band with possible guest appear- great legacy at W&M. He is proud- program in the country, and there to boot. One of his most important ances when Dean Lewis returns est of having started the Public are additional opportunities at the qualities is his genuine concern for visits. The final performance Service Partners Program with EPA, the National Institute for for the well-being of students and of Beats Walkin’ will likely be at employers who come to campus. Environmental Health Sciences, graduates. They appreciate his the Corner Pocket on Feb. 10 from He has been on the National As- and Duke University. Dean Lewis accessibility, sensitivity, sound ad- 10:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. (no cover). sociation of Law Placement for said that he leaves with “mixed vice, sense of humor, and support of There may be an additional gig by twenty years and has served on its feelings.” He is excited to return activities such as singer-songwriter, Beats Walkin’ at J.M. Randall’s board. He will be hard to replace, to running an office, but he is also date auction, and the bone marrow in February. Dean Lewis and his but W&M students will be included sad to leave the W&M students and drive. Dean Lewis’s reputation wife released a self-produced CD in the interview process of select- faculty behind. and longevity in the legal career in May. They plan to continue ing a new Assistant Dean of OCS. Having worked in career ser- services profession have been performing in Chapel Hill and to W&M thanks Dean Lewis for a vices all his adult life, Dean Lewis instrumental in developing recruit- recruit a bass player. The close-har- job well done and wishes him all cannot imagine another career. ing relationships with employers mony acoustic country duo of Dean the best. Guidance for Future Trial Lawyers

• by Bereket Tesfu trial advocacy training/edu- AAJ is the largest trial bar in the no other dues for membership. Contributor cation sessions, world. Our chapter is dedicated to If you would like to be informed • networking events with the mission of helping our law stu- of chapter programs in the future The Executive Committee established trial lawyers, and dents develop the courtroom skills, and/or are interested in member- of the American Association for • panel discussions and/or legal knowledge, and professional ship, please send an e-mail to Justice (AAJ), formerly the As- debates on protecting the civil contacts needed to build successful Bereket Tesfu at btesfu@gmail. sociation of Trial Lawyers of justice system. careers as trial lawyers. We work to com containing your name, class American (ATLA), chapter at accomplish this mission by provid- year, and whether you want to be William & Mary Law would like Also, the Executive Commit- ing training, education, and profes- added to the chapter mailing list, to thank those of you who attended tee would like to encourage you sional networking opportunities for are interested in membership, or our program last November. For aspiring trial lawyers, regardless our law students. The benefits of both. If you would like to learn those of you who were not able to of what area(s) of law you intend membership are far too many to list more about AAJ, including mem- attend, take heart. The chapter will on practicing, to consider AAJ here, but annual membership dues bership benefits, please visit the have such programs in the future, student membership. With more are only $15, paid to the national organization’s website at www. as well as: than 55,000 members worldwide, organization. The chapter requires justice.org . News 4 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Inside the D.C. Circuit

by Daron Janis judge with whom Judge Griffith is Contributor eating lunch abused his discretion or misinterpreted the law. In an event sponsored by the J. Perhaps the most distinguishing Reuben Clark Law Society on Jan. characteristic of the D.C. Circuit, 22, Judge Thomas B. Griffith of the according to Judge Griffith, is the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. judges’ pursuit of consensus. Judge Circuit delivered a fascinating and Griffith contrasted this spirit of con- entertaining presentation on “The sensus with what many view as the Curious Role of the D.C. Circuit” adherence to a personal jurispru- to students and faculty of the Wil- dence among the Supreme Court liam & Mary School of Law. True Justices. Judge Griffith opined that to his good-natured humor, Judge the unique aspects of the court. He tradition of Supreme Court justices dissent often tears down credibility Griffith managed to work the term estimated that about two-thirds of coming from the D.C. Circuit. whereas consensus breeds power “frisky” into his presentation on the D.C. Circuit’s docket is filled Judge Griffith pointed out that, of and clearness in law. Judge Griffith several occasions as a tribute to with cases involving the FDA, the nine current justices on the Su- acknowledged, though, that there Dean Reveley’s lively introduction EPA, and other federal agencies as preme Court, four of them—Chief is a place for dissent when a judge in which the Dean used the term to a party. In contrast, the D.C. Circuit Justice Roberts and Justices Scalia, feels strongly that a case has been describe Judge Griffith’s warmth sees a relatively small percentage Thomas, and Ginsburg—came wrongly decided, but that dissents and personal likability. of criminal cases because it only from the D.C. Circuit. should be respectful and solidly Judge Griffith first cited the has jurisdiction over crimes from Judge Griffith explained that grounded in the rule of law. D.C. Circuit’s high percentage of the District of Columbia. judges for the D.C. Circuit, unlike On a personal note, Judge administrative law cases involving Another unique aspect, accord- other circuit courts, come from all Griffith said that of all he has done the federal government as one of ing to the Judge, is the historical over the country and, therefore, in his career, his time spent as Sen- are often identified by their home ate Legal Counsel was the most Funding Tips states. In an amusing story, Judge fascinating, particularly because Griffith explained that officially he he held this position during the Continued from page 2. the student’s public service activi- is known on the court as “Judge impeachment trial of President ties and commitment, the student’s Griffith of Utah” even though he Clinton. Judge Griffith noted that Students on Blackboard. participation in PSF, and any other is a native Virginian. This case of his impartial aid of both Repub- The most well-known source factors the student feels should be misidentification came about be- licans and Democrats during his of funding to W&M students is the considered. cause at the time of his nomination, service in the Senate was the most Public Service Fund. Every year, Maryann and Jennie had many he was working as General Counsel influential factor in his securing PSF and the law school collaborate tips for students. The most com- for Brigham Young University in confirmation during one of the most to give fellowships to students mon reasons for students not Provo, Utah. When asked which difficult periods in recent history for working for the government or receiving funding, or less funding state he wanted to be identified federal judicial nominees. Judge public service organizations dur- than others, were bad essays and with, Judge Griffith said he had Griffith related, however, that as far ing the summer. The fellowships poor proofreading. Applications only to think about who was then as a day-to-day job goes, he much provide up to $3,600 for ten weeks. begun at the last minute were glar- the chairman of the Senate Judi- preferred working at BYU because Applicants can be given pro rata ingly obvious. The most important ciary Committee—Senator Orrin he enjoyed the university setting, fellowships for part-time positions things students can do to ensure Hatch (Utah)—and he knew what especially working with students, or part summers. Applicants must their funding are to make sure the answer needed to be. and he believed in the mission of submit their applications for fund- their applications are professional, Judge Griffith also described the university—that of higher edu- ing this summer by March 29. The concise, and well-thought-out, and how the close proximity of the cation in a religious setting. application may be downloaded to make sure they include plenty of judges’ chambers affects life on Judge Griffith also mentioned from the OCS Resources for Stu- volunteering for PSF. the D.C. Circuit. In most circuit how awestruck he was to have his dents on Blackboard. Students who plan to apply for courts, judges have chambers in name on his locker along with those Maryann Nolan (3L) and Jennie funding and have not yet become the various states which the circuit of Justice Scalia and Chief Justice Cordis (2L) of the Public Service involved with PSF should start vol- covers. The D.C. Circuit Court, Roberts, who had occupied the Fund were present at the workshop unteering as soon as possible. To however, resides completely in same locker when they were on the to help students understand the PSF join the PSF listserv, students can one courthouse, so all the judges’ D.C. Circuit. He joked that when he funding process. Students submit e-mail publicservicefund@gmail. chambers are in the same building. was nominated to the D.C. Circuit, multiple copies of their applica- com. For specific questions about Even more intriguing is the fact his ABA rating was the lowest pos- tions, which are anonymous. The PSF funding, PSF, or public service that the D.C. District Court judges sible while still being acceptable, applications are reviewed by the internships in general, students share the same courthouse with the but then he named several other PSF Board and Dean Kaplan, who can email [email protected] or D.C. Circuit Court judges. Judge current prominent Circuit Court work together to decide how to [email protected]. For more infor- Griffith mentioned that this often judges and Supreme Court Justices distribute the funds. The applica- mation about finding or funding makes for interesting (and some- who also share that ignominious tions include four essay questions, public service internships, students times awkward) lunches, especially distinction and concluded, in char- which include a description of the should visit the Office of Career when he has ruled just minutes acteristic optimism, that he must be job and why it deserves funding, Services. before lunch that a lower court in good company. News THE ADVOCATE 5 State of the College: Good, but Room for Improvement

by Meghan Horn sixth among comparable institu- is now at the thirty-eighth percentile Staff Writer tions for alumni currently serving nationally; President Nichol stated in the Peace Corps. William & that the College’s goal is to raise this Mary athletes have the fifth high- to the seventy-fifth percentile, em- The first annual State of the est academic performance rating phasizing the importance of attract- College address was held Jan. 25 in the country. The undergraduate ing strong instructors. President in the University Center Common- class of 2010 is the College’s most Nichol discussed the importance of wealth Auditorium. Ryan Scofield, diverse yet, with 25% students of increasing compensation for staff Student Assembly President, in- color. In the last quarter of 2006, members as well. troduced President Gene Nichol. over 26 million dollars were raised Most concretely, President President Nichol spoke before an for the College. Nichol also announced the cre- audience of students, faculty, and President Nichol also presented ation of a presidential committee interested parties about the recent some goals: The Gateway Schol- formed to address the controversy achievements and future goals of arship Program, which provides surrounding the cross in Wren Cha- the College. scholarships to students from pel. The committee, comprised of of William & Mary. The committee President Nichol began with low-income families, allowed 88 students, faculty, staff, and alumni, will be co-chaired by law Profes- the good news, focusing mainly scholars to enroll in the College will examine questions surrounding sor Alan Meese. President Nichol on news relevant to undergraduate this academic year, eleven more the appropriateness and legality of stated that he has asked that the listeners: According to Kiplinger, than last year and more than in any religion in a public university, while committee report back to him “by William & Mary rose to the third past year. President Nichol stated keeping in mind the historic nature the end of the semester.” best value in a public school, taking that the College hopes to double this cost and quality of education into number in the next six years. consideration. The College ranks The faculty compensation rate Marshall-Wythe Chapter of the VBA Helps Students Serve Community

by Lavonda Rowe nity, governmental and educational Contributor organizations. In particular, the Marshall-Wythe Chapter sponsors The Virginia Bar Association community service projects like is a voluntary organization that drives for food, clothing, and most endeavors to promote the highest recently, blood. professional standards for lawyers, On Jan. 24, over two dozen stu- to improve the law and the admin- dents, faculty, and staff participated istration of justice, and to advance in the American Red Cross blood collegiality among lawyers. The drive. Another blood drive may VBA—Marshall-Wythe Chapter be planned for later this semester. aims to accomplish the same goals The Docket reported that the VBA’s for law students. January clothing drive “netted An important challenge of the about 18 dozen items including 22 VBA is to facilitate law students’ winter coats which were given to participation in community ser- two Williamsburg Organizations vice for the purpose of identifying (Avalon and FISH). The state-wide more meaningful ways to serve drive was sponsored by the Virginia those in need. The VBA aims to Bar Association’s Community Ser- overcome this challenge in two vice Council.” ways. First, the VBA encourages Community service involve- law students to sign up to become ment provides personal fulfillment a community servant by pledging and an opportunity to develop to perform 35 hours of community friendships with others. If you are service over the course of a year. interested in becoming a mem- Students can make the pledge ber of the VBA-Marshall-Wythe online at www.vba.org. Second, Chapter with no obligatory dues, VBA promotes volunteering for please contact Carrie Harris at charitable, religious, civic, commu- [email protected]. News 6 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 We Know What You Did Last Summer… Every year the Public Service Fund, in cooperation with the Law School, provides financial support to a large number of William & Mary students during the summer so that they can pursue opportunities with government and public interest organizations. Each issue of The Advocate will feature stories authored by the sponsored students. Working for the Taxman - and the Taxpayers by Christina Revels serves an important role in the collection case for which he knows ful outcome in that client’s case, Contributor functioning of the Internal Revenue he can make a successful legal argu- regardless of what the legislature Service, and its attorneys perform ment. However, because the Chief may have intended for a particular a variety of functions. Its principal Counsel’s office has determined it law. At the Chief Counsel’s Office client is the Commissioner of the was not the legislative intent for it is much more important to do Thanks to support from the Internal Revenue Service. The the law to be applied in this type of what is right than simply to win Public Service Fund, I was fortu- main office in Washington, D.C. circumstance, the attorney will not a case. nate enough to be able to spend houses attorneys who specialize pursue the matter so as not to act I am very grateful to the Pub- a portion of this past summer in various provisions of the tax or set a precedent contrary to that lic Service Fund for helping me working at the Internal Revenue code who provide guidance on its legislative intent. Before making to experience this up close and Service’s Office of the Chief Coun- proper interpretation. In addition, a legal argument, Chief Counsel’s personal view of the functioning sel in Richmond, Virginia. attorneys working for the Chief office attorneys even consider as- of the Internal Revenue Service’s Although it is not a typical Counsel’s Office represent the pects of a legal argument such as, Chief Counsel Office. I gained a “public interest” organization, the Internal Revenue Service in court if accepted by the court, whether new view of the professionalism Internal Revenue Service serves a proceedings, draft regulations, and it would set a precedent that would and true public service mindedness vital role for the public interest. It is provide legal advice to Internal have a negative impact on a par- of the attorneys working there. It part of the federal government and Revenue Service employees and ticular industry that was unintended is a great place for attorneys to is in charge of collecting tax rev- taxpayers. by the legislature when the laws in work who would like to participate enue. This is the primary funding I worked primarily with at- question were adopted. in obtaining funding to be used to source for the federal government. torneys in the Richmond Office’s In contrast, attorneys working fund many different public service The United States government as Small Business and Self-Employed for private clients are typically projects and who are more inter- we know it truly could not function group. They represent the Internal called on to make the best argu- ested in doing the right thing than without the funds collected by the Revenue Service in various pro- ments possible to obtain a success- simply winning cases. Internal Revenue Service. ceedings including bankruptcy liti- The money collected by the gation and various other collection Internal Revenue Service is used proceedings. Because they have so to fund a huge array of programs much specialized knowledge of tax benefiting virtually every citizen law, they often work in conjunction of this country and many foreign with Department of Justice attor- citizens. Among the programs neys, who also handle tax cases. In receiving funding from the federal addition, they advise field agents government are welfare programs (such as those performing audits) providing housing, food, and medi- and appeals officers on the proper cal care to indigent individuals; interpretation of the tax laws. legal aid programs providing legal During my time at the Chief assistance to indigent clients; law Counsel’s Office, the factor that enforcement and prosecutors who surprised and impressed me the help to keep the country safe; for- most was the way the focus of eign assistance to needy countries; Chief Counsel’s Office attorneys and a wide variety of other pro- is different from attorneys in pri- grams that directly and indirectly vate practice. Although the Chief provide for the safety, welfare, and Counsel’s Office has a client, the prosperity of the citizens of this Commissioner of the Internal Rev- country and others. enue Service, there is a tremendous Funds collected by the Internal amount of focus on taxpayers’ Revenue Service are at the heart of rights and doing the “right” thing a huge array of programs working for the taxpayers and citizens of to benefit individuals of all income this country. As an initial starting levels. As an organization, the point, the Internal Revenue Service Internal Revenue Service strives employs taxpayer advocates. Also, to provide a high level of service contrary to attorneys working at to taxpayers and to enforce the law firms for private clients, there tax laws equitably to ensure that was an overriding goal of doing the all individuals comply with their “right” thing. responsibility to pay taxes. For example, an attorney at the The Chief Counsel’s Office Chief Counsel’s office may have a News THE ADVOCATE 7 We Know What You Did Last Summer… Every year the Public Service Fund, in cooperation with the Law School, provides financial support to a large number of William & Mary students during the summer so that they can pursue opportunities with government and public interest organizations. Each issue of The Advocate will feature stories authored by the sponsored students. Legal Aid Bridges Gap between Government and t h e N e e d y

My job this summer was to considered. Meeting with these efits and giving benefits to those by Megan Erb work with families needing public families was the most rewarding individuals who should not be Contributor assistance and find ways to improve part of my job. People were so receiving them. At the end of the the application process. I was grateful for any help I could give—I summer, I compiled all of my data placed in the health/income/hous- even received thank you letters! and research about these problems I’ve always had mixed feelings ing practice area. The focus of my Not many lawyers can say that. and presented them to the Legal about the government offering as- projects was on problems regarding My favorite story to tell about Aid Society, the organizations we sistance for low-income families. Medicaid, Medicare, food stamps, my summer experience involves worked with, and eventually the Public benefits, especially health and welfare programs. a Korean family. The father and executive board of the Department care, can clearly have a positive I was given the opportunity to mother both worked two jobs and of Job and Family Services. My impact on society and, if properly organize my own outreach program had to care for their handicapped supervisors still send me emails administered, improve a lot of throughout the summer. I traveled son. They were legal immigrants about new changes in policies that families’ lives. However, when not around Cincinnati to advise fami- but the social services systems stemmed from my research. properly administered, it seems to lies, help them fill out their appli- incorrectly processed their paper- That is the best part of work- be a waste of government money cations, and lead them through the work back in 1988. The Depart- ing in the public interest sector. and tax dollars. After this summer, process. The application process ment of Job and Family Services Interns have the ability to actually I finally made up my mind—public to receive public health benefits is had denied them all forms of public make a difference in the course of benefits can do great things. And complicated, and it amazes me that aid. While the family was overly four months. We have the time it is because of organizations like some families succeed in complet- qualified to receive assistance, they to address problems and issues the Legal Aid Society that it hap- ing it without any guidance. The only worried about getting help the lawyers have simply not been pens. Legal Aid serves as the much requirements are extensive and for their son. Most social workers able to while balancing all of their needed liaison between govern- families must produce an unend- ignored the glaring error in their clients. Cincinnati is fortunate to ment programs and recipients. ing list of documents before being systems and ignored the family’s have a huge Legal Aid Society, requests for help. The father came taking on 6,000 new cases each Don't Feed The bears to Legal Aid for help and, after year and providing other forms of many visits, phone calls, and meet- help to 15,000 other families. And ings, my supervising attorney and I they are still forced to turn down succeeded in getting help for their thousands of other families. This family. In addition, our stubborn- means that interns have an unlim- ness caused quite the ruckus in the ited number of opportunities to administration, and the Department get involved and have interesting, has recently changed their entire hands on experiences. policy regarding legal immigrants’ All in all, I had a great expe- eligibility for public benefits. It was rience at Legal Aid. The work fun to play the role of the outspoken schedule was flexible, and the and persistent law clerk who was environment was not as formal as determined to force some changes most large firms. I was exposed to on the Department, while the Legal several different legal topics in my Aid lawyers preserved their rela- department, and, most importantly, tionship with the Department. I worked with the most wonderful Along with helping the Korean people. Attorneys at Legal Aid family, the other highlight of my are the nicest, most sincere people summer job was seeing the impact in the law field. They will freely of the research I did on the Ohio admit to the difficulties of working Department of Job and Family in the public interest sector. But Services. I worked closely with they unanimously agreed that it was the Department and many social worth it. When you love your job, workers over the course of the sum- you take the good (rewarding expe- mer and discovered several issues rience of helping people) with the in the general application process bad (lower pay, long hours). I’ve for families across the board. The never seen so many happy lawyers problems were preventing eligible dedicated to helping every one of Law students enjoy a change of scenery while on the SBA-sponsored families from receiving public ben- their clients. ski trip, held Jan. 19-21. Photo courtesy Sarah Simmons. News 8 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Upcoming Events

Look to this space for news Bill of Rights Journal Sym- Charter Day: U.S. Sen. Chuck ready to dance like no one’s watch- about speakers and other ma- posium: Panels of distinguished Hagel to be keynote speaker at ing! The event will be held at the jor events at the law school. If scholars speak on the topic of event marking the 314th anniversa- Woodlands from 9:00 p.m. to 1:00 your organization has an event presidential signing statements. ry of the Royal Charter. Tickets are a.m. Round-trip shuttle service in the next month you would The event will be held in Room required (call 221-1001). For more provided from the law school. like advertised, please e-mail 124, the Faculty Room, and the information, see the press release [email protected]. lobby at 3:00 p.m. at http://www.wm.edu/news/index. Monday, February 12 php?id=7191. The event will be George Wythe Lec - Thursday, February 1 Saturday, February 3 held in Phi Beta Kappa Memorial ture to Highlight Paradoxes Admiral James M. Loy to Bill of Rights Journal Sym- Hall at 10:00 a.m. of the Child Welfare System speak on Law and the Post- posium (continued): The event Environmental Law & Policy Northwestern University School 9/11 Security Environment continues at 9:00 a.m. Review Symposium: Panels of of Law Professor Dorothy Roberts Admiral (Ret.) James M. Loy distinguished scholars speak about will present the 2006-07 George will discuss the array of law that Tuesday, February 6 issues related to the symposium’s Wythe Lecture, entitled “Child has framed the dimensions of the JAG Day theme, “Mission Impossible?: The Welfare’s Paradox.” The lecture post-9/11 security environment, Lunch with Lawyers: In-House Compatibility of Military and Envi- will be given in Room 127 at 3:30 focusing on the role of lawyers Counsel. Panel at 12:50 in Room ronmental Goals.” The event will p.m. in interpreting and adjusting legal 141. be held in the McGlothlin Court- norms to face these new challenges. SBA: Election Information room. Breakfast begins at 8:30 Wednesdy, February 14 The event will be held in Room 119 Meeting. Informational meeting a.m., and the first lecture begins Lunch with Lawyers: Family at 3:30 p.m. for those interested in running for at 9:15 a.m. and Child Advocacy Law. Panel at Lunch with Lawyers: Careers a position on the next SBA at 1:00 Barrister’s Ball : Time to get 12:50 p.m. in Faculty Room. in Criminal Law. Panel at 12:50 p.m. in Room 135. Members of p.m. in Room 133. SBA will be there to talk about their Corrections: positions and duties, and members The Nov. 22 edition of The sponsored by the W&M chapter of Friday, February 2 of Honor Council will be there to Advocate erroneously credited the Association of Trial Lawyers of 100 Nights Celebration: The talk about the election rules. the Trial Team for co-sponsoring America (ATLA), which has since Class of 2007 begins counting “Career Avenues as a Trial Lawyer” affiliated itself with American As- down the days until graduation. Saturday, February 10 along with OCS. The panel was co- sociation for Justice (AAJ). Features THE ADVOCATE 9 The Bears! The Colts! Who Wins?!

by Asim Modi just stupid and the Sprint ads are Grossman to replicate his form in “liquored-up.” Vanderjagt went Features Editor memorable only for his 70s porn the second half of the Saints game to West Virginia University. The star ’stache, the MasterCard ads are in the Super Bowl, but realistically current kicker, Adam Vinatieri, pure gold. How could you not laugh they will have to rely upon their own won Super Bowls for the Patriots at “Cut That Meat, Cut That Meat?” rushing duo of Thomas Jones and with his leg, but, more importantly, Does the world really need an- Urlacher was recently in those com- Cedric Benson. With those two, Vinatieri ran a kicking clinic at my other article about the Super Bowl? mercials where he, Michael Vick, the strategy appears to be that they high school in Parkersburg, West With two weeks between the con- and LaDanian Tomlinson are on a start Benson and he performs in his Virginia. Does Devin Hester have ference championship games and high school football team. The ads usual uninspiring way, thus lulling any West Virginia ties? Edge: the Super Bowl, it would be safe were mildly amusing, but Urlacher the opposition into a false sense of Colts. to say that the mainstream media played no role in that. Though this security, and then Jones comes in has the game pretty well covered. does not relate to commercials, and actually runs forward. Whether Before just handing the title to Moreover, we at The Advocate are Urlacher did date Paris Hilton, so that will work against a Colts de- the Colts, it should be noted that on the outside looking in due to the that’s definitely a mark against him fense led by Dwight Freeney and if somehow the Bears can chan- NFL press office’s bizarre refusal (though it was in her “Simple Life” those talismanic former Michigan nel the spirit of the Super Bowl to grant a biweekly law school sex tape making heyday rather than Wolverines Cato June and Marlin Shuffle (“We are the Bears Shufflin’ student newspaper all the access her current reputation as a drunk Jackson (there are no rules against Crew/Shufflin’ on down, doin’ it for and credentials to cover a sporting driving, In and Out Burger craving calling a reserve cornerback a talis- you/We’re so bad we know we’re event that these days only margin- louse). In Urlacher’s defense, not man) obviously remains to be seen. good/ Blowin’ your mind like we ally involves sports. having a neck does make you less The Colts defense has improved a knew we would”) and Ditka, then Still, putting the bitterness commercially appealing. While lot in the last month and probably just maybe they could pull off a aside, this preview surely could the Colts appear to have a clear should stop a Bears offense that is Superfans heart attack-inducing not be worse than what ESPN, Fox, edge in this category, good news the worst of all the offenses they upset. But now, it seems that Rex CBS, or NBC have to offer. What for the Bears is that Tank Johnson have faced in the playoffs. Edge: Grossman will have to live with the is the point of hiring ex-players and will be allowed to leave the state Colts. title of being the 964th best player coaches if all they are going to say of Illinois for the game in Miami. never to win a Super Bowl for at is that the team with more heart and Johnson, perhaps sensing that war Special Teams: The Colts’ last least one more year. the team who makes more plays will with Iran is in the offing, was us- kicker was Mike Vanderjagt, a guy win the game? In all the years Sean ing his home as an arms depot and Manning once called an “idiot” and Colts 27, Bears 13. Salisbury spent watching the sport was arrested last month and put on as a career backup or that Michael house arrest. Still, can the Bears Give a little bit Irvin played while in a drug-induced force Manning out of the pocket, haze, they apparently could not cover the perpetually open Dallas exceed the level of insight brought Clark, and stop the increasingly by Mike Valenti, the distraught effective Joseph Addai/Dominic Michigan State sports radio guy Rhodes tandem? Probably not. whose unbelievable meltdown after Edge: Colts. Sparty’s “choke job” (or “pucker”) against Notre Dame has become a Bears Offense v. Colts Defense: cult hit at the law school. All the attention here will fall on Is there any point to this stream Bears QB Rex Grossman—some- of consciousness criticism? Not re- one, from reading articles about the ally, other than to recommend that Bears, with the footballing ability of people seeking legitimate football a Muppet. All this criticism over- analysis should listen only to Ron looks the fact that in the first half of Jaworski and read the following the season, Grossman’s name was discussion of the matchups that will mentioned in MVP discussions and decide the game. sportscasters dared to put his name in the same sentence as Brett Favre. Colts Offense v. Bears Defense: That is all just a memory now, and Much of the attention here will fall Grossman does not even have the on Colts QB Peyton Manning and best drunken photographs among Bears MLB Brian Urlacher. As it is Bears QB’s. (Kyle Orton with Jack pretty well acknowledged that both Daniel’s dribbling down his front are dominant players in their respec- wins that one. In the same category, tive positions, the natural place to do check out Ben Roethlisberger’s look to see which will carry the day “Drink Like a Champion Today,”as is the advertising world. Manning is well as Eli Manning’s karaoke on TV relentlessly, pitching Sprint, shots, which can be found at http:// MasterCard, Gatorade, Sports Cen- drunkathletes.synergyofsports. Members of the Law School community take part in last week's blood ter, etc. While the Gatorade ads are com.) The Bears would love for drive. Joelle Laszlo // Advocate. News 10 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 The Coming Year in ("Indie") Music

by Michael Kourabas complete nerd that I am, many thing you’re likely to hear this year. year about how incredible Arcade Features Editor precious hours were wasted these Yet, the album isn’t just creative for Fire’s debut, Funeral, is. I consid- last weeks searching for the latest creativity’s sake. Pitch pushes the ered it the best album since Kid A Two thousand seven has the op- illegal downloading opportunities. limits of the pop envelope without when I first heard it, and the fact portunity to be the best year indie- What follows is my premature breaking it, something even Animal that I’m even considering that Bible rock has seen this millennium. The evaluation of the best of what I Collective still struggles with. could top it is a testament to the years 2004 and 2005 ushered in a found. Arcade Fire’s uncanny ability to new era of quality and output—the Explosions in the Sky, All of write moving, complex, and just latter showcasing some of my all- Panda Bear, Person Pitch a Sudden I Miss Everyone really awesome songs. time favorites, including Animal Brooklyn-based Animal Col- Since we’ve been left without a Neon Bible, the follow-up to Collective’s Feels, My Morning lective are one of the most unique new Sigur Ros album for a couple their lauded debut, proves one Jacket’s Z, Wolf Parade’s Apolo- and inventive groups in music to- of years, Explosions in the Sky are thing concretely: Funeral wasn’t gies to the Queen Mary , Sigur day. Most of Animal Collective’s the next best thing. These guys an aberration. On nine-elevenths Ros’s Takk, and Sufjan Stevens’s vocals come from Panda Bear have been around for a while now, (that’s all that has come out thus Illinois—the likes of which the (a.k.a. Noah Lennox), but nothing although I just discovered them on far) of Neon Bible, Arcade Fire do genre hadn’t seen since the days that band has done comes close to All of a Sudden, set for a Feb. 20 what most bands could only dream of Pavement and the Pixies. And showcasing the range of those vo- release. Explosions are another of of accomplishing in a career. while this past year wasn’t a let- cals as Person Pitch, Panda Bear’s Austin, TX’s talented underground Thematically, the song-writing down (see stellar releases by TV third solo album. Person Pitch bands (see Spoon), though they of Win Butler and Regine Chas- On the Radio, Band of Horses, combines the avant-garde nature shed the “indie” label by making sagne shifts gears entirely here. Destroyer, The Knife and Liars), of Animal Collective—strange their records entirely instrumental. Whereas Funeral was about the it was consistently overshadowed noises, pop songs that come in Songs on All of a Sudden range from reality of death, Bible focuses by what was to come once the ball movements—with Pet Sounds three minutes—on the album’s on insecurity and working class dropped in January. era Beach Boys harmonies. This chilling closer, “So Long, Lone- struggle. At the same time, the Thanks to technology (and album would make Brian Wilson some”—to over thirteen on “It’s band maintains an interplay be- greedy fans), many of the albums and David Byrne proud. It is both Natural to Be Afraid,” yet all are tween hope and despair that was so set to come out later this winter creative and deftly produced, cou- equally accessible. Explosions’ gripping on Funeral. Neon Bible’s have trickled out (illegally) over pling short pop gems with winding past albums have all been theme- best moments range from contained the past few weeks. Being the twelve minute jams, unlike any- driven and the latest is no exception. chaos to gloom. At times, the Words just aren’t necessary when band’s energy builds to a breaking you can say more with a bunch of point, never quite spiraling out of watch for tree s ! electric guitars. control. On others, Richard Perry’s distorted guitars create a brooding Deerhoof, Friend Opportu- storm of sound, distinctly linking nity the album’s darker tracks. Listening to any post-Apple Only nostalgia could keep O Deerhoof can erase any “Lost one from acknowledging what the in Translation”-like stereotypes Arcade Fire have accomplished one might harbor of a cold, lonely here. Funeral was shocking and Japan, and Friend Opportunity is unexpected in its passion and com- no exception. Simply listening to plexity—something that can never Satomi Matsuzaki sing on tracks be reproduced. Nor is it necessarily like the nonsensical “Kidz Are fair to compare the two records. So Small” makes one want to hop Nevertheless, what the Arcade Fire a flight to Tokyo immediately. prove on Neon Bible is that they’re Matsuzaki, the band’s de facto lead a band that has matured, and one vocalist, has the voice of a five that will be around for a very long year old, and the album’s brilliance time. lies in the contrast between the playful Matsuzaki and the straight rock the band delivers vis-à-vis Note: Also check out the lat- pounding drums and heady guitar est from The Shins, Of Montreal, riffs. Deerhoof are a strange and Air, !!!, LCD Soundsytem, Apostle delightfully unique band, and their of Hustle, Menomena, Clap Your more pop-rock-oriented records Hands Say Yeah!, and Andrew Bird, of late are sure to both divide fans all of which are tremendous in their and open the door for new admir- own ways. Additionally, watch for ers as well. new releases from Spoon, Inter- pol, Radiohead (we hope), Wilco, Woody Rubin (3L) pulls a “Daffy” on the slopes during the SBA ski Arcade Fire, Neon Bible Animal Collective, Sigur Ros, Wolf trip. Photo courtesy Christopher Casey. I wrote in “these pages” last Parade, and Modest Mouse later THE ADVOCATE 11 Features 12 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Marshall-Wythe Student B-LAW-GS: Winter Break in the Holy Land Edition

by Tara St. Angelo today!!!” In addition, everyone on Business Editor the trip had seen Borat and felt the need to ceaselessly quote the movie What did you do over your . . . NICE! winter break? If you followed the In addition, all the feral cats trend, you went to Israel. Three law roaming the major cities made students (that I know of) visited the Isaac miss his own cat Toby (see Holy Land this break. below for a synopsis of Toby’s break). Isaac was not thrilled with the Bedouin tent because of all the “hidden dangers,” such as the lack of electricity. Isaac said the worst part was that he had “nowhere to plug in my hair straightener or my cell phone so I could call DADDY!!!” But what about those that suf- fered at home alone while “Dad” went and gallivanted around the holy land? I am talking about Toby Rosenberg, Isaac’s kid cat and, ac- cording to his Facebook profile, a 1988 graduate of Princeton. Isaac’s Julianna Frisch and Isaac time in the hotel lobby). Julianna negligent absence left Toby with the Rosenberg, both 2Ls, went to said, “Isaac and I made certain to run of the house, free to do things Tal Kadem, a 3L, went to Is- Israel FOR FREE. Apparently get a good amount of sleep, not be like stick forks in sockets, surf the rael to visit friends and family. He you get trips and such just for hungover, and wear comfortable internet free of parental controls, was born in Haifa, Israel. Tal got being Jewish. When asked why shoes so we could soak up every and play with matches. Toby was to reconnect with his roots by sky he went on the trip, Isaac said, “I ounce of education!!!” also able to catch up on some of his diving and driving an ATV around went to Israel for the same reason Their trip was not all fun and favorite activities, such as loung- the Israeli Army’s tank training most Jews do things: it was free.” games though. They had to wake up ing, knocking things off larger land. Tal said, “[It] involve[ed] Besides the incredibly good price really early every day, and Julianna things, and shredding paper goods. ridiculously steep hills and getting of the trip, Julianna went to take in had to spend 24 hours a day with These are listed as a few of Toby’s mud into nearly every crevice of some culture, while Isaac’s other Isaac, while most of us probably interests on Facebook. Toby is an my face.” motivation was the ladies. (J-Date got to sleep until noon and spend industrious little kitty and used his Tal also got to connect with the just did not have the caliber of girl the day Isaac-free. Isaac also said time alone to do a photo spread for people of Israel, noting that most he was looking for.) Isaac said, “I that riding the bus with the other www.stuffonmycat.com. Luckily of the country’s citizens lack the figured with three semesters of law students was synonymous with no burglars broke into the house concept of “personal space.” An- school under my belt, I was halfway “enduring impromptu a capella while Isaac was away, but Toby did other cultural difference that Tal to being the perfect Jewish husband singing” on the bus. “Imagine 40+ set up some booby traps complete noticed is that the rule of “waiting and could get a little.” hours of off-key harmonies of hits with tar and feathers and a blow in line” does not exist to the Israeli Julianna and Isaac went on the from the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and torch. (Think Home Alone). people. trip with about 40 other Jewish Although he was far, far away college and grad students. Al- from Williamsburg, the “tendrils” though Julianna did enjoy many of William & Mary had a firm grasp of the important historical sites in on the country. Tal said, “In a com- Israel, like the Dead Sea and the pletely random coincidence, I was Yad Vashem Holocaust museum, in the Galilee region in the north of her favorite part was observing Israel, visiting a natural hot spring the “sex-starved” college student that is a somewhat popular (though accompanying her and Isaac on the small) tourist attraction with my trip run wild. Isaac took a break family. I was walking around the from trolling for chicks and enjoyed pools built on the springs (which are Akko, the old Crusader stronghold sulfur springs, and so very good for on the Mediterranean. Julianna and your skin, but very stinky) when, Isaac also got to visit a kibbutz (and suddenly, no less than ten feet ahead drink), sleep in a Bedouin tent in of me, I spot none other than Isaac the desert (and drink), and talk with Rosenberg.” Hasidic rabbis (and drink, but this Features THE ADVOCATE 13 T h e “Don't Take This Seriously, but...” New Semester Edition by Nathan Pollard placed. I hope everyone had a rest- time for this fad, much like that of cause of one event: Barrister’s Ball. Staff Columnist ful break, and since I didn’t hear the Spanish, gay, and Teva, to die. Now, I went to Vegas over the break, of anyone’s heads exploding, I am Second, for the administration not somehow got free limos to and fro guessing the 1Ls were able to get to kick people out of classes and different clubs (not all of the best Ahh, The Advocate is back with through the rough month where we then apologize as if they couldn’t repute), and stayed up till way past its first issue of the spring semester, didn’t have anything to do. Since have done anything. Third, for the my usual 9:30 p.m. bedtime. But and I know what you are thinking most people make a list of resolu- Mormons at our school to explain even that pales in comparison to the … I can’t wait for Alan Kennedy- tions for themselves, I thought I why there are so many Mormons show that occurs on Feb. 10. You Schaffer to tell me what I should would start this article with a list at our school. Fourth, for people see, on this Christmas-like day, the think about politics. Well, since my of resolutions I want other people to gain at least a basic understand- student body of the law school gets article is probably on the second to at our school to follow. First, no ing of basic pop culture references. together, and, after a few magical last page, you want to turn back more roller bags. This has gotten Fifth, and finally, no roller bags. hours, we will never be invited back towards the front of the paper where ridiculous and I know the 1L guys This is probably my favorite his article somehow keeps getting are behind me on this one. It is time of year in the law school be- Continued on page 14. Canadian Bacon: Writer's block and a Canadian Christm a s to hang out with my childhood my old principal here, “dolphins day of snow the entire time I was by Matt Dobbie friends. Normally, this involves swim in schools.” Even though I home. I realize this doesn’t mesh Staff Columnist (a) watching sports and (b) play- was only nine years old when this with your view of Canada as a ing sports. This break was no was announced, I knew it was the frozen tundra, but the truth hurts. The toughest part about writ- different. lamest thing I’d ever heard.2 Third, So, out went snow football, and in ing this column is coming up with Watching sports over the Christ- our principal, Mrs. Erskine, looked came basketball. an idea—some basic theme upon mas season normally involves some remarkably like an Ewok. On one particular warm day, which to base my witty remarks. Leaf games and the World Junior Despite these drawbacks, PW is my buddies and I went down to I find it extraordinarily difficult. I Hockey Tournament. This tourna- a solid spot to play because it has a the outdoor court and got a solid have often sat and stared at a blank ment is a big deal to Canadians, and large asphalt surface—optimal for game of pick-up hoops going. For screen, trying in vain to come up this year’s edition, held in Sweden, street hockey, with no cars and very those of you questioning the link with an idea for a column.1 Some- was no different. Canada cemented few pedestrians around. It does between Canada and basketball, I times, this writer’s block manifests its place on top of the hockey world have the occasional school bell, think it’s important here to note that itself in a poorly written, somewhat with our third straight gold medal but we make do. Its only drawback (a) James Naismith, the inventor jumbled column with a multitude finish. We beat the “Soviets” in the is that we have to drive there—a of basketball, was Canadian; (b) of footnotes. Other times, I resort final, but the most exciting game problem only because we have to Steve Nash, the reigning MVP of to potshots at other writers in this was our shootout victory over the bring hockey nets with us. This the NBA, is Canadian; and (c) as I paper (I don’t want to mention any Americans. Unknown before the results in the uniquely Canadian write this, the Toronto Raptors are names, but he’s a little “sweeter tournament, Jonathon Toews—the scene of a car, windows down, with first in their division. But I digress. than shug,” if you know what I hero of that shootout with three a hockey net being held above the Anyway, it was shortly after play- mean). Why am I telling you this? goals—is now a household name roof by its occupants. You might ing this game that I realized that Because I want you all to know in Canada. That’s how much we think this would get weird looks basketball in Canada is probably how hard this is to do. Well, that, love the World Juniors. from passersby, but you’d be slightly different than that in the and I had a ridiculously hard time I also got a number of solid wrong. As an added benefit, the states. One, you probably don’t coming up with an idea for this street hockey games, all of which net usually bangs against the car, play in eight-degree weather,3 and week’s column. In fact, I spent a were played on the hardtop of my leaving numerous red paint marks two, if you do play in eight-degree good portion of my break trying elementary school, Pilgrim Wood on the car’s roof. I’m sure it’s great weather, unlike Gomes and I, you in vain to think of some great idea Public School. Although I enjoyed for the resale value. probably don’t go out for ice cream to write about. I failed. So, since my time at Pilgrim Wood, I have al- In addition to hockey, my bud- afterwards. I couldn’t come up with anything ways had a couple of problems with dies and I usually get a solid game It was delicious ice cream, smart to write about over the winter the school. First, the name. The of snow football going as well. perhaps one of the five best ice break, I thought I’d just share a area I live in in Canada—Oakville, This year, thanks to the miracle cream experiences I’ve ever had. couple of stories from my holiday Ontario—has no connections with of global warming, our game was But as sweet as that ice cream was, season. Pilgrims, nor is it densely wooded. canceled. In fact this break was it wasn’t half as sweet as watch- One of the things I love about Second, as a mascot we adopted a the warmest winter in Southern ing Jonathon Toews knock off the going home is the opportunity dolphin because, and I’m quoting Ontario history—we only had one Americans in the World Juniors.

1 This is only partly true. In actual fact I come up with hundreds of ideas, except most of them revolve around hockey and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Since for some ungodly reason most of you don’t follow hockey or cheer for the Leafs (have fun roasting in hell, heathens), I’m forced to come up with something else to write about. 2 This appears to be a good place to mention one of my new year’s resolutions—stop making fun of my friends in print. Ordinarily, I’d make a joke here about someone being incredibly lame. But I’m not going to today, and I think I’m a better man for it. 3 That’s eight degrees centigrade. Similar to how I use the Canadian spellings of words (humour, valour, etc.). I refuse to dumb down my col- umn and report temperatures in Fahrenheit. You’re on your own to convert the temperature—that or finally leave the Stone Age and start using metric units. Features 14 Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Don't, continued from page 13. last year had taken place at a frat the music and dancing)—but some kitchen, and a few people reliev- formal, I would have been laughing of the things I do remember are ing themselves on the floor of the to wherever the dance takes place. … but disgusted. I was there last people swinging from chandeliers, bathrooms. Now I am not going to Even if I had heard that some of the year—not that I remember much of someone throwing up their dinner mention any names—but Alex Cha- things that happened at Barrister’s it (because I was so excited about from Aberdeen Barn all over the sick owes me money … so … S w e e t e r t h a n S h u g: Dating accordi ng to Dav i d B u l e s Christina “X Tina” Murtaugh, and mean Public Policy girls did what by David Bules regaining our composure. We like 2L Jillian Kipp, bring in an offen- amounted to a chest bump, and, Staff Columnist to think it’s because our minds were sive line anchored by center, 1L unfortunately, Sarah was in the on Sarah’s health. Jenny Case, and 2Ls Sarah Fulton middle. Pop! That’s the sound that One hospital trip and a few and Mary Hutton, and now you’ve ended Sarah’s season and dashed orthopedic surgeon appointments I’ve decided to go off topic for almost got a football team. But, our hopes and dreams. later, news of the injury became the first time in order to tell you there’s more. As Sarah lay in obvious pain, public. We all watched the sports all about one of the most amazing You can’t have a football team we knew something was wrong. ticker and saw this roll across the events of last semester. It is the without the skill players. On the The officials called time-out and bottom of our screens: NPSE story of an underdog flag football offensive side of the ball, Jeff Pal- did a preliminary “investigation” MW is reporting Sarah Simmons, team, and the hero playing among more and Ryan Browning rounded before calling 911. Within minutes defensive end for the Browning’s us. out the wide receiver and running two police officers drove onto the 1Ls, is out for the season, dashing So, what happens when you back positions, and Gabby Culp field. Later the ambulance showed her hopes for a million dollar con- put together a group of the most added a receiving threat on offense up. When the first police officer tract extension. Doctors confirmed talented 1L athletes, three 2Ls who as well. On the defensive side, asked Sarah what happened, I’ll Tuesday morning that Simmons are just along for the ride, and a add 1L Matt Latrick at corner, 1Ls never forget what she said. “Well, completely tore both the ACL and 3L boss with more fire than most Trenton Brown and Dan Redding at I was trying to get the quarterback, the MCL in her left knee, follow- NFL players? Perfection. Well, safeties, and myself at linebacker. but I was too late. I guess I missed ing a collision in a Nov. 30 playoff almost. There’s a team that could compete my One Shining Moment.”1 Now, game. “Browning’s 1Ls,” our co-ed with the best of them. obviously he meant what happened “I would like to thank my flag football team, put together Now that you know the team, to her knee, but he must not know momma, the fans, and, of course, a dream season this year. Ryan I’ll skip to the end of the season Sarah Simmons. Sarah wasn’t God and Jesus for giving me the Browning’s ingenious idea of put- and kill the suspense. Browning’s worried about her knee. Sarah was opportunity to go out there every ting together a young, co-ed flag 1Ls finished the season undefeated worried about the game, about her week and play,” Simmons told football team came about sometime and headed into the playoffs with teammates, and about our cham- the press following the bad news. after intramural softball season momentum after handling all four pionship. “And I want to thank my team was over—even before he heard opponents relatively easily. Up The paramedics soon arrived for all of the help and support that Tom Jackson Project would until the game against the Public and, after a quick examination, they have given me. They are the not field a co-ed team this year, Policy team, Browning’s 1Ls had carted her off on a stretcher. The best. Playing for them was the thus ending their reign of holding avoided physical injury for the most week before our game, Texas quar- highlight of every week for me.” the co-ed championship in nearly part. The injuries in the previous terback Colt McCoy was carted off When reporting on her treatment, every sport. Browning started four games only amounted to a the field after suffering an injury the NPSE MW also noted that the compiling a group of 1Ls to be broken finger, a pulled hamstring, against Texas A&M. Sarah may or orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Lambert, the core of the team, which would and some blood here and there. may not have been watching that also crushed Simmons’s dreams of set up his 1Ls for success in years We’ll skip the score, because game, but both Sarah and Colt knew skiing in January with her school, to come. While it might not work it was bad. Browning’s 1Ls had what to do when their teammates as well as her idea of replacing the right away, it would come together a hard time refocusing after one worried as they watched a player torn ligaments with ones made of at some point. of our key defenders went down being carted off to the ambulance: pure gold.2 He began by locking down a with an injury. On a third down Hold up one finger. That’s right, We learned a lot that cold No- quarterback, the 6’3” lumberjack, play, the girls lined up to blitz as just one, as if to say, “I’m OK, and vember evening. We learned that Mike Hinchcliffe. After that he they normally did, but the Public we’re still number one.” We’ve hope is no match for a team with was off to the races. Next, he Policy offensive line had a plan of all seen it before on TV, but it’s a quarterback who can throw 60 added speedster Dan Redding, who their own up their sleeves. Two surreal to see it in person. You yards. We learned we cannot win makes the Bears’ Devin Hester look girls on the offensive line planned get chills. if we don’t score. We learned our like Ki-Jana Carter. After locking to face each other and smash anyone To think that our teammate had defense could stay on the field 35 down some big guns, Browning who tried to get to the quarterback enough strength and enough fire to of the 40 minutes in the game. But added some ladies who, while hav- through the hole between them. hold that one finger up in pain, and most of all, we learned we were ing virtually no collective football And that’s exactly what they did. that she believed in us, gave us new playing with a hero among us. We experience, ended up being the Sarah Simmons, who led the hope. Sarah inspired us all. We led hope that Sarah gets her One Shin- real deal. team in sacks and celebratory a roaring cheer as we headed back ing Moment before Browning’s Enter a defensive line of 1Ls dances after sacks, came through onto the field. We then promptly 1Ls hang up their cleats for good. Sarah Simmons, Leigh Wilson, this tiny hole in the offense. The got stomped and shut out, never Godspeed, Sarah.

1 “One Shining Moment” is CBS’s theme for the NCAA Basketball Tournament (March Madness) every year. So while Sarah said this, my printing it is giving credit to CBS’s creative genius. 2 Entire NPSE MW press release written by Sarah Simmons on Dec. 12, 2006. Reprinted with the express permission of Sarah Simmons, Inc. NPSE MW (Marshall-Wythe) is a fictional sports network, having no relation to ESPN. Features THE ADVOCATE 15 T h e Real State of the Union Alan Kennedy-Shaffer Evaluates the President’s S p e ec h explain why the White House re- that a stunning sixty-four percent majority of our military,” Webb cently rejected a request from ten of Americans believe that the earnestly explained. “We need a major CEO’s for binding caps on Administration’s unilateral deci- new direction.” greenhouse gas emissions. sion to invade Iraq was a mistake, With Democratic majorities in More likely, however, Bush while three out of four Americans both the House of Representatives probably figured that by talking about domestic issues, he could avoid any serious discussion of a failing war in Iraq. Faced with an increasingly unpopular war, the increasingly unpopular president did not even mention Iraq until by Alan Kennedy-Shaffer near the end of his speech. When Features Editor Bush finally got around to talking When President George W. about the war, he sounded like Bush stepped to the podium to ad- ousted Defense Secretary Donald dress the nation on Jan. 23, he was Rumsfeld, saying that “this is not quite literally overshadowed by the fight we entered in Iraq, but it House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. is the fight we’re in.” To his credit, Bush began by Bush contradicted himself on congratulating “Madam Speaker.” the Iraq War, stating unequivocally Pelosi is the first female to raise that “America must not fail in Iraq” the gavel in our country’s history. while claiming that “our commit- While Vice President Dick Cheney ment [in Iraq] is not open-ended.” sneered, the entire chamber erupted He said that the White House is with deafening applause for the implementing a “new strategy” “The Real State of the Union” art by Carolyn Fiddler. woman standing next to him on in Iraq, but failed to articulate the dais. any strategy other than piecemeal disapprove of Bush’s handling of and the Senate, there is reason Paralyzed by the resounding escalation. the war. for Americans to be hopeful that repudiation of the Republican Woefully ignorant of reality, Only forty-five percent of Congress will lead Bush in a new agenda in November’s midterm Bush warned that failure in Iraq Americans still think of Bush as direction. The day after the State of elections, Bush sounded almost like would result in a “contagion of vio- a strong leader, only forty-two the Union address, the Senate For- a Democrat as he described how lence” and a “nightmare scenario,” percent of the public say that the eign Relations Committee passed our government must “spend the but ignored the fact that more bod- president can be trusted in a crisis, a bipartisan resolution expressing people’s money wisely,” “balance ies are uncovered in Baghdad every and only three in ten Americans feel opposition to Bush’s plan to put the federal budget,” and “uphold day. He ignored the contagion of that Bush understands the problems twenty thousand more American the great tradition of the melting violence that has engulfed Iraq in of people like you and me. lives on the line in Iraq. pot that welcomes and assimilates sectarian civil war and bolstered Senator Jim Webb (D-Va.) Bush’s paltry thirty-three per- new arrivals.” Iranian influence in the region. He summed up the general feeling in cent approval rating seemed to ac- Stealing from former Vice ignored the nightmare scenario that America toward the Iraq War during tually work against him during the President Al Gore’s playbook, already exists in Iraq, a nightmare his response speech when he quoted debate on the resolution, sending Bush acknowledged for the first that has ravaged our military and President Dwight Eisenhower’s Republicans scurrying away from time that we must “confront the left more than three thousand question about the Korean War: the President’s State of the Union serious challenge of global climate American soldiers dead. “When comes the end?” comments. According to the Post, change.” He also mentioned the As the Washington Post edi- Speaking on behalf of the Dem- Sen. Richard Lugar (R-Neb.), the need to “awaken the conscience torialized about the State of the ocratic Party, Webb emphasized senior Republican on the Senate of the world to save the people of Union address, “President Bush that “this country has patiently en- Foreign Relations Committee, Darfur.” offered the usual assurances ... but dured a mismanaged war for nearly blasted Bush’s Iraq War strategy, Behind Bush’s revamped the state of his presidency has never four years.” He astutely noted that calling the decision to escalate rhetoric, however, lie a whole lot of been worse.” “many, including myself, warned “dubious.” inconvenient truths. Maybe Bush Having bet his presidency on even before the war began that it Sen. George Voinovich (R- figured that the American people swift victory in Iraq and an obse- was unnecessary.” Ohio) told Bush personally, “You have forgiven him for squandering quious Congress, Bush wagered it Webb drove home the point are not listening.” billions of dollars on tax cuts for all and lost. He painted himself that the Iraq War has cost our na- millionaires. Maybe Bush figured into a corner on Iraq and is now tion dearly, destroyed our country’s that no one has noticed the national wondering why he cannot seem to reputation, and set us back in our Alan Kennedy-Shaffer is the debt skyrocket past eight trillion find a way out. fight against Al Qaeda. author of Denial and Deception: A dollars. Maybe Bush figured that A Washington Post-ABC News “The majority of the nation Study of the Bush Administration’s if he mentioned global climate poll conducted the week before the no longer supports the way this Rhetorical Case for Invading change, he would never have to State of the Union address found war is being fought; nor does the Iraq. 16 Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Guess The Whiteboard by Joelle Laszlo sentences or less, you tell us the Staff Photographer legal principle or lesson being depicted. What happens when the news- Take the photo below, for ex- paper hosts a contest and no one ample (please!). An acceptable enters? The paper comes up with entry would be: “It is important a brand new contest (and prizes!) that a law school provide its stu- and hopes for the best. dents with superior resources. In fact, having effective teachers and The idea here is simple: we administrators may compensate for provide a photo of a classroom having a roof that is too small for whiteboard. In two (humorous) the school building.”

We know you can do better than worse – you’ll never know unless that with the photo above, and to en- you enter. courage you we’re offering prizes. Win this go-round and receive a Send entries to jelasz@wm. box of 100 life-sized plastic spiders edu. Winner and honorable men- and flies (20 of which glow in the tions will be printed in the next dark)! Prizes could get better – or issue.