THE ARTISTIC JOURNEY TO DISCOVER MY PASSION

Susan Esther Shaw B.A., California State University San Francisco, 1975

PROJECT

Submitted in partial satisfaction of the requirements for the degree of

MASTER OF ARTS

in

EDUCATION (Curriculum and Instruction)

at

CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SACRAMENTO

SPRING 2010

THE ARTISTIC JOURNEY TO DISCOVER MY PASSION

A Project

by

Susan Esther Shaw

Approved by:

, Committee Chair Karen D. Benson, Ph. D.

Date

ii

Student: Susan Esther Shaw

I certify that this student has met the requirements for format contained in the University format manual, and that this project is suitable for shelving in the Library and credit is to be awarded for the Project.

, Graduate Coordinator Rita M. Johnson, Ed. D. Date

Department of Teacher Education

iii

Abstract

of

THE ARTISTIC JOURNEY TO DISCOVER MY PASSION

by

Susan Esther Shaw

This project is an Alternative Culminating Experience for a Master of Arts in

Education: Curriculum and Instruction with an Emphasis in Arts in Education. This project follows Pathway 1: Artist as Educator developing knowledge and skills in a particular area of the arts, with a disposition toward applying the acquired expertise to arts education. This project is “The Artistic Journey to Discover My Passion.” The author looked at the question whether an older person could develop artistic skills, find her passion, and benefit after taking classes in the visual arts. The author researched the history of other visual artists who started their careers later in their lives and the advantages for older adults of learning art. Finally, the author looked at the

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benefits to her career as a teacher after she continued to take art classes and the effect it had on her students in her classroom.

, Committee Chair Karen D. Benson, Ph. D.

Date

v

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to acknowledge and thank my professors Karen Benson, Crystal

Olson, and Lorie Hammond for all the wonderful support and positive words of encouragement. I especially want to thank my friend Annie Hughes, who was instrumental in strongly encouraging me to sign up for this program and supporting me, especially during the moments when I needed strength to continue. I also want to thank my son, Erick Shaw, many friends, and family members who encouraged me through my journey to discover my passion.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page

Acknowledgments ...... vi

Chapter

1. INTRODUCTION ...... 1

The Importance of the Project ...... 1

Context ...... 3

The Procedure ...... 4

Main Questions ...... 5

Academic Research ...... 6

How the Project Affected her Teaching ...... 6

Providing Leadership in Arts Education ...... 7

Definition of Terms ...... 7

Limitations ...... 7

2. REVIEW OF RELEVANT LITERATURE ...... 8

3. THE PROJECT ...... 37

4. REFLECTIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS ...... 68

Appendix A. Pictures of My Work ...... 74

Appendix B. Interview Questions ...... 78

References ...... 80

vii 1

Chapter 1

INTRODUCTION

The author developed a project as an artist pursuing Pathway 1, Teacher as

Artist in the discipline of the visual arts. The exploration included a wide variety of media in the area of the visual art. This project gave the author the opportunity to discover what artistic medium provided joy and personal fulfillment, as well as furthered her artistic growth as a teacher. Skills attained in the arts were brought into the classroom for the students.

The Importance of the Project

The arts have always been a challenge and a roadblock to the author of this project. She had limited experiences in visual art as a child. Later, as a teacher, drawing or designing pictures for the classroom walls or drawing simple pictures on the board in order to demonstrate academic concepts was very challenging.

Strengthening skills in the visual arts and using them in the classroom had always been a dream.

When the author was a child, she did not have family members who were visual artists, therefore, she did not have opportunities in the home to learn the visual arts. Also, her mother was a very active woman, and her philosophy was that children should always be active. If the weather was nice they should be outside. They spent most of their family time outside skating, cycling, and playing baseball with neighborhood children.

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Her memories of doing art as a child were mainly painting on pages that were outlined and included numbers. Each number stood for a certain paint color, and she took joy in finishing the pictures to view the final product. She also enjoyed coloring in coloring books on rainy days.

In the third grade, she has memories of having to draw pictures quite often.

The teacher never gave her students ideas or any training, but she remembers drawing pictures of mountains with many trees. Sometimes she would draw houses with swing sets in the backyard or abstracts with various vibrant colors. She felt some enjoyment, but always wished for more ideas and proper training.

In high school, she intended to take art as an elective, but felt very intimidated and anxious when she entered the art room, so she decided to pursue another elective.

When she attended college, she took ceramics and enjoyed the class as long as she did not have to use the potter‟s wheel, because when she did, every clay piece went flat.

Currently, the author has been teaching for over 30 years and plans on retiring soon. She has many friends who are visual artists and enjoy the process of painting.

The author has always wondered what would occur if she were to be properly trained in the skills of visual art. In this project, she explored various art media to figure out which art medium she most enjoyed. She intends to continue creating art when retired.

Currently she still works as a teacher and uses her newfound knowledge to teach the students in her second grade classroom.

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In the master‟s program, she was having trouble figuring out which pathway to choose for the project. The instructor continued to say, “This is your opportunity to be engaged in your passion.” Through many discussions with friends, she came to the conclusion that if she had the opportunity to study a few disciplines in the visual arts, she might discover her passion and the discipline that might provide great enjoyment and relaxation.

Context

The author of this project has chosen Pathway I. Throughout the summer and the fall of 2009, she attended art classes in various settings, including in her hometown of Stockton, California. She also traveled to other parts of the country for lessons. She had the opportunity to take both private and group lessons in various different visual art media. In order to discover her passion, she took lessons in drawing, painting, pastels, watercolors, and ceramics.

The first class the author took during the summer was a week- long drawing class in Massachusetts at a lovely place called Snow Farm. The class was titled

“Drawing for the Absolutely Terrified.” Then she took a weeklong watercolor class in

Mendocino, California. She also took one-day classes in the visual arts both in the summer and fall of 2009. During the fall season, the author took a pastel class that was taught at a gallery in town, a ceramics class at the local junior college, and a watercolor class through the Osher program at the University of the Pacific.

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The Procedure

Since this is a Pathway I project, the author attended art classes throughout the summer and the fall of 2009. Most art classes were in group settings, but also some private lessons were in the form of one on one instruction. Skills and projects were practiced and completed at home.

For each workshop or private lesson, she wrote narratives, describing in detail the experience of each lesson, including the setting, materials, the process, and thoughts and feelings about the process and the product. Ways to continue to improve her artistic skills were reflected upon. Comments and discussions with fellow students and art instructors as they related to the art pieces were included. She also wrote about how to use her new artistic skills in a classroom setting.

All art pieces that were created throughout the past year were saved in a portfolio. Photos of some of the pieces (see Appendix A) demonstrate and document the experiences she had and the work that had been created. The visuals demonstrate the growth attained while experiencing the arts.

By December of 2009, she had accumulated many art pieces to document the work that had been put into this project. An abundant amount of narrative work that had been written throughout the summer and the fall of 2009 was used in order to write about her experiences in chapter three. She also interviewed visual artists who had observed her work and used it as documentation in Chapter 3.

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Main Questions

Why are artistic experiences important to learn in order to incorporate them into the classroom? Children today are forced to sit still for long periods of time in order to learn concepts that will be administered to them on standardized tests. They become bored and uninterested in attending school. The teachers in the classrooms eventually end up with many behavior issues. The children also do not retain or learn the information because it is not presented to them in a meaningful way. Meanwhile, the arts have been marginalized or in some cases eliminated from the curriculum.

The author of this project read articles and books written by three theorists

Donald Arnstine (1967), John Dewey (1934), and Elliot Eisner (1998). These authors wrote about the importance of bringing the arts into the classroom to support a balanced and interesting curriculum.

Since the author is an older woman, and is starting to learn art later in her life, she researched three artists who also started their art careers when they were older.

Books and articles were used to show how and why these people decided to begin art later in their lives, their importance historically in the art world, and to find out how art affected their lives.

Since the author of this project is an adult and never took art classes because of the fear of not being artistic, she wrote about why people fear doing art. This third question addressed many reasons why people abstain from doing art. She learned through her research that people do not sit down to paint, dance, perform, or create for

6 many reasons. A few of those reasons consist of fear of not being good enough or feeling that they are imposters.

Academic Research

In order to document her progress and growth, narrative research was implemented. Artifacts were collected and saved in a portfolio. They were analyzed to identify the growth that occurred during the summer and fall of 2009. She wrote narrative reflections about the lessons, procedure, process, and experience that occurred. It reflected the author‟s passion in the arts. An explanation of how the arts can be implemented in a second grade classroom, were also included.

The researcher interviewed instructors on the process and growth as a student artist. In addition, she also interviewed a friend who is currently working as an artist and a classroom teacher, and who has observed her growth.

How the Project Affected her Teaching

During the last 32 years of teaching the author had felt frustrated when needing to demonstrate concepts on the board. The pictures were challenging to create.

The art lessons facilitated artistic growth, provided feelings of confidence, and the ability to draw pictures that are identifiable. The newly acquired techniques provided her with the ability to teach her students how to draw and create art projects.

Many new ideas were added to her repertoire in the classroom.

As the author increased her confidence and skills, her teaching style and relationship with students were positively improved.

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Providing Leadership In Arts Education

The new skills, information, and newfound interest in the arts provided the author with the ability to teach art to the students on a limited basis in her classroom and instill a strong desire in students to pursue the arts in their studies and careers in the future.

Definition of Terms

Mixed media: A technique involving the use of two or more artistic media, such as ink and pastel or painting and collage that are combined in a single composition.

Plein: air painting- This means painting outdoors.

Standardized tests: A testing instrument that is administered, scored, and interpreted in a standard manner. It may be norm-referenced or criterion- referenced.

Limitations

The author works full time as a teacher in a second grade classroom. Most colleges and art schools offer art classes during the day, when she is working. Thus, she attended art classes during the evenings, weekends, and during summer vacation.

She mostly focused on art classes during her summer vacation.

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Chapter 2 REVIEW OF RELEVANT LITERATURE

Included in this chapter are three sections that are related to the author‟s project about the importance of art in both the schools and her personal life as an artist. The first section includes some of the philosophies of three educational theorists. All three theorists discussed the importance of including art education into the present school system. The second section includes research of three artists who have started their art careers later in their lives. Finally, the third section includes possible reasons why artists delay or completely stop the process of doing art because of fear. At the end of this chapter various possible remedies for relieving the fear and continuing to engage in art are described.

The purpose of this section is to argue that in order to create an environment where children are excited about coming to school, and actually learning and internalizing meaningful information, schools need to infuse the arts into the curriculum.

In order to accomplish this the author summarizes how three theorists, Donald

Arnstine (1967), John Dewey (1934), and Elliot Eisner (1998), discussed the importance of creating a meaningful curriculum that includes arts education.

In most schools today the emphasis is to teach academics, math, reading and language, and to minimize the arts. From the time school begins in the morning until the children leave in the afternoon, they are sitting at their desks and are expected to pay attention to the teacher. An example of a typical day is that when the bell rings the

9 teacher begins by teaching reading for 90 minutes. During this time the children are exposed to flash cards, reading stories, and discussing what occurred in the stories that they have read. Then they are taught rules that are pertinent to being able to learn phonics and vocabulary. After reading, the children spend most of the remainder of the day learning math, social studies, and science in a didactic way. The only movement that children receive during the day is during two recesses and twenty minutes of required physical education. Elliot Eisner (1998) would argue that this scenario would not be conducive to learning,

The arts teach a different lesson. They celebrate imagination, multiple

perspectives, and the importance of personal interpretation. The last thing a

modern teacher of the arts in America wants is a class full of standardized

performances of a given task. The last thing an English teacher wants are

idiosyncratic interpretations of how words are spelled. This is as it should be.

Creativity in spelling is no virtue. But when the curriculum as a whole is so

heavily saturated with tasks and expectations that demand fealty to rule,

opportunities to think in unique ways are diminished. When carried to an

extreme, the school‟s program becomes intellectually debilitating. (p. 82)

Every week children are expected to know what was taught throughout that week. They are required to regurgitate the information on tests. They are also required to know how to bubble in the answers on scantron sheets. This process of education does not seem to take into consideration whether the children really have learned the information that was taught.

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The challenge to assessment is to somehow create tasks that give students opportunities to display their understanding of the vital and connected features of the ideas, concepts, they have explored. First, it increase both meaning and retention because it allows connections between intellectual networks and thus reduces the meaningless fragmentation of bits and pieces of information. Second, as more and more of the puzzle pieces come together to provide a coherent picture of the domain to which ideas are related, the probability is increased that learning will have aesthetic features (Eisner, 1998, p. 142).

When schools begin to infuse the curriculum with dance, theater, storytelling, song, and visual art, children will be happier, more engaged in their own learning, and more capable of processing the academics. The arts will create a situation where reading, writing, and math will be more meaningful, because the children will be more involved in the process of learning.

According to theorist Donald Arnstine (1967), teachers need to provide an environment that is relevant and brings excitement to the child. When children find meaning for learning, they are more apt to retain knowledge. There needs to be a purpose for learning. Each child is different, therefore, the teacher is responsible for acquiring curriculum to adjust to each particular classroom and individual student.

In order to create a disposition in the classroom that is conducive to learning,

Arnstine (1967) believed, educators would bring in art and music to create a meaningful and exciting experience.

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Thus, if children are taught mathematics through games and in ways that are

enjoyable--rather then through interminable drill in getting the right answer--it

could reasonably be hoped that enough people will acquire favorable attitude

toward mathematics for society to get the mathematicians it needs. (p. 361)

When educators teach math or science and support the lessons through the arts, more knowledge will be retained by the students. When teaching about plants, if the children draw the plants, do a dramatization about the growth of plants, and then physically go outside to plant the vegetables, the lesson will become meaningful and, therefore, memorable.

Philosopher John Dewey (1934) would call this last example “having an experience.” In order for children to learn and remember, there has to be an esthetic quality to the experience in the classroom. This means that the children are paying attention and actively involved in the process of their education. Dewey stated,

“Experience in this vital sense is defined by those situations and episodes that we spontaneously refer to as being „real experiences‟ those things of which we say in recalling them that was an experience” (p. 37).

When children are actively involved in their own learning, they are learning much more information than if they are sitting still for prolonged periods of time.

Dewey (1934) would be in favor of educators infusing their curriculum with plays, dancing, and creating art.

These experiences bring the learning experience to life, and learning becomes more memorable. When a classroom teacher is teaching a reading lesson, one

12 possibility is for the children to develop a play that is related to the lesson. The process of acting in the play would increase the participants‟ ability to comprehend the contents of the story. The experience would have flow; it would be continuous; and it would be very personal to the children involved. It would be an “esthetic experience”

(Dewey, 1934, p. 19).

Theorist Elliot W. Eisner (1998) has been a strong proponent for integrating arts programs in schools. He stated in his essay that he had a personal experience as a youngster of being bored in school, and he was not successful academically. After his mother placed him in a visual art program at The Chicago Art Institute and from experiences in a Boys‟ Club, he was provided with many opportunities to explore the arts. It was such an important element of his up bringing that he later taught art to disadvantaged youth. Eisner stated, “Education without the arts would be an impoverished enterprise” (p. 1).

Eisner (1998) believed that in order for children to grow up prepared for the world, they need to learn that problems do not have just one correct solution, but many ways of solving them. Having art in the classroom teaches children that there are multiple ways to solve problems. When children learn how to draw or write poetry, they are using their imaginations and exploring all the possible ways that they are able to create. One important piece of creating art is to draw on past experiences, which

Eisner would refer to as “aesthetic” (p. 85). The mind is stimulated and thinking throughout the experience. Another aspect to creating is editing or fixing the artwork.

All the processes that go into creating art involve cognitive processes. Eisner stated:

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I have emphasized the contribution that the arts make toward helping students

recognize that problems are not restricted to those having single correct

answers, that form and content interact, and that purposeful flexibility is a

mark of fluid intelligence coping with the vicissitudes of the unpredictable. (p.

84)

Eisner (1998) was also an advocate for providing enriching experiences to support the curriculum. When a teacher is teaching about a particular period of history,

Eisner suggested that the children would benefit by going to art museums that have art from that time period or to attend plays or hear music that would enrich the lesson that is being taught. All of these experiences strengthen the comprehension of the topic.

All three philosophers are similar as far as believing that there is currently a need to change the curriculum in the schools. They all agreed that in order for children to have meaningful and positive experiences in schools the arts need to be provided to support the curriculum. There is also a mutual agreement that the process of creating art is an intellectual endeavor.

Because perception of relationship between what is done and what is

undergone constitutes the work of intelligence and because the artist is

controlled in the process of his work by his grasp of the connection between

what he is to do next, the idea that the artist does not think as intently and

penetratingly as a scientific inquirer absurd. (Dewey, 1934, p. 47)

Philosopher John Dewey discussed the importance of experience. In order for an experience to occur in the class (1934) room there would be a flow and continuity

14 to the event. The children would have to have some involvement in the process, and there would be some emotion tied to the experience. So, when the children are involved in creating a paper mache pinata in order to learn about Cinco De Mayo, they are involved in the process of learning through the experience. Philosopher Donald

Arnstine (1967) would argue that the teacher would be the most qualified person to create the lesson since the teacher knows the children and understands their individual needs. The lesson would need to be meaningful and appropriate for the development of the children. The pinata project would pique the curiosity of the children and provide inclusion. This would possibly cause them to want to further their studies in this culture. Arnstine stated “In a society that values freedom of choice and self- determination, there are good reasons for enabling the students themselves to make their own selections about how much effort they will expend in which of these roles

(p. 345).

Eisner (1998) was different from Dewey (1934) and Arnstine (1998) when he wrote about the importance of integrating the arts into the curriculum. He was more explicit about the process that schools need to implement, in order to be successful.

Eisner said, “When we recognize that learning about culturally rich periods of life requires multiple sources of data multiple forms of representation, and the use of multiple intelligences, we are inclined to eschew single outcomes” (p. 114).

If schools today would provide more esthetic experiences for children in the curriculum, they would be more fully engrossed in the process of learning. They would have greater desires to learn more about the subjects that are being taught. The

15 interest would be there because the learning process would be more exciting and engrossing. Philosopher John Dewey (1934) provided important insights into the importance of children having experiences. When enriching experiences occur in the curriculum, it provides an opportunity for meaning and memory to be more pronounced. Donald Arnstine (1967) would also agree adding games, art, or music into the lesson would assist in engaging the interest of the children. According to

Rudolf Steiner (2003),

In training the mind and training feeling, we must give particular attention to

the individual characteristics of the child. As teachers, we must be capable of

forming the instruction so that the child does not simply receive something

intellectual in the instruction, but enjoys the instruction in an aesthetic way.

We cannot achieve this if the ideas appeal only to the intellect. We can do this

if we, as teachers, relate to the children‟s feelings in such varied ways that we

actually elicit the children‟s expectations of the subject, which we then fulfill.

We can do this if we arouse the hopes that, both large and small, we fulfill-if

we develop every positive attribute of the children that can play a role in an

aesthetic understanding of their surroundings. You can meet the child‟s

aesthetic needs if you bring yourself into a correct relationship to the child‟s

feelings. (p. 28)

The atmosphere of the way the schools are presently functioning needs to change. Instead of having children sitting at their desks for long periods of time, they could be more involved in the experience of learning. Elliot Eisner (1998) would

16 suggest that one possible way to change the system is to provide opportunities for children to write poetry or paint pictures and connect those to the curriculum.

In conclusion, children would benefit and absorb more knowledge if the arts were stressed in the curriculum. They would not be sitting still as long, because they would be actively involved in the process of learning. The children would be learning more because when they are engaged in the arts, they are using their minds and are paying attention to the details. Eisner (1998) stated that “Educators help shape minds, and the curriculum we provide is one of the most important tools we use in this process. The curriculum is, in this view, a mind altering device” (p. 13).

The following section explores why three artists delayed their ambition to practice art. This section will demonstrate how these artists were able to follow their artistic passions, though they had many obstacles in their lives. It will also discuss the ingenuity they demonstrated when finding and using various materials in order to create their art.

Since the author of this project is an older woman, the purpose of this section was to research artists who had started their art careers later in their lives and to discover why they waited until they were older to begin.

The author summarizes and explores parallels in the lives of three artists, Anna

Mary Robertson Moses (Grandma Moses), Edward Hicks, and John Kane. All three of these American artists began their art careers later in their lives, had no formal art training, and are vitally important in the history of American art. They all had a strong interest in art from an early age, but because of circumstances that occurred

17 throughout their lives, they were forced to forego their art careers until they were much older.

Grandma Moses was born in 1860. At an early age Grandma Moses had an interest in art. Her father was an artist and encouraged his children to be creative. He would buy pieces of drawing paper for a penny each. Grandma Moses would use grape juice or crushed berries to paint her pictures. Her father gave her red and blue carpenter‟s chalk also. She found many things to paint on, such as sticks of wood, slate, and old window frames. She also made paper dolls from tissue paper. Grandma

Moses (as cited in Kallir, 1952) wrote about how she felt about that special time.

Then I had some pretty pictures. That was the time they made fun of me, I had

some “very pretty lamb scapes,” as my brothers said. I called them, brilliant

sunsets, and father would say, “Oh not so bad.” But mother was more practical,

thought that I could spend my time other ways. (p. 27)

Grandma Moses wanted to attend school, but she lived on the east coast where the girls were not allowed to attend school during the winter because of the freezing cold weather.

When she did go to school, her favorite subject was geography because during this class, she was able to draw and received some formal training in art. While drawing her maps, she would embellish them with trees and other decorations. Her teacher enjoyed them so much that he wanted to keep them.

Her mother discouraged her from doing art. She thought that girls should be more practical. There were 10 children in the family so the girls were required to do

18 the chores. Some of the chores were artistic in nature, such as candle making, making soap, and sewing by hand.

Her first significant piece of art was done when she was helping wallpaper the house. She ran out of wallpaper, so she drew a picture of a lake and some trees on a fireboard that covered the furnace in her house.

Grandma Moses left home at 12 years old. She worked on a farm for 15 years where she met her husband. They had 10 children and very little money to live on in those days. They bought a cow and used it for a butter making business to sustain their farm. After the butter making business, she made potato chips and sold them.

When her children grew up, Grandma Moses became more available and interested in pursuing other artistic projects. She would search for old objects to fix up and decorated the house with them. Her daughter found an old embroidered picture and suggested that Moses should try to make some. As she was making them, she received requests to embroider more.

As Jane Kallir (1982) stated, “Grandma Moses‟ artistic career was born of two impulses- the appreciation of beauty and the need to do something useful that stemmed from early childhood” (p. 17).

During the time that Grandma Moses began to paint she did not have money to take formal art lessons. She studied pictures on greeting cards, magazines, and newspapers. She especially liked Currier and Ives. Sometimes she would copy these pictures in order to learn how to create pictures. She would even cut up greeting cards and add them to her landscapes.

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Since she did not have the finances to purchase art supplies, she improvised by using matchsticks or pins to add small details to her artwork. She even sprinkled glitter on her snow scenes in order to add a shiny effect.

She was particularly inspired to paint landscapes when on one particular day, she saw a scene of her house and trees reflected on a hubcap. She began to use her kitchen window as a frame to observe landscapes around her house. As Grandma

Moses stated, “A picture without a frame was like a woman without a dress” (as cited in Oneal, 1986, p. 38).

Another art medium that Grandma Moses used to design her landscapes was needlepoint. She enjoyed this art form very much. In order to add different tones, she would layer the different colors of yarn. Eventually, her arthritis forced her to resign from doing needlepoint, but it did not stop her from painting. Moses stated,” Painting is things up right” (Kallir, 1982, p. 132).

Moses used her tip- top table mostly for painting. When she had to work on large paintings, she placed them on her bed to paint. Most of her scenes were of farm life or pictures of landscapes. She painted daily and always painted indoors. Most of the time she painted scenes from memory or used photographs to copy. Another interesting fact about Moses is that she worked on many paintings at the same time. If she created one special color, she could use it for all of her paintings, and she did not have to waste it.

Moses painted about 1,600 art pieces in her lifetime. She was so happy to be painting that when she was in a nursing home, she had to be strapped to a bed so that

20 she could not paint. She painted 26 pictures after her 100th birthday. Towards the end of her life she drew the illustrations to the book, The Nightmare Before Christmas. She did not live to see the book published. She passed away at the age of 101. Jane Kallir

(1982) stated, “ Painting kept her alive. The moment she couldn‟t paint anymore, she died” (p. 131).

Another artist who began his work later in his life was Edward Hicks. He was born in 1780 in Pennsylvania and was raised by a foster parent until he left home at the age of 13. He was not interested in attending school. The only education that he did enjoy was listening to scripture.

As a teen-ager, he learned how to build carriages. His art career started when he was given the opportunity to paint a house. Later, he made money by painting carriages. Alice Ford (1952) described his career with carriages. “ His argumentative friend Dr. Fenton hired him to paint a carriage and the carpet within for a total of $16.

Polishing and varnishing carriages were also a specialty, and also the lettering of

„waggons‟” (p. 21). He also painted furniture, street signs, and tavern signs.

Besides all of the work he had, he was married and busy raising his children.

He struggled most of his life to free himself from poverty. Because he had such hardships in his life, his career, that included his major works of art, began at the age of 40.

During this era of history, artists learned their trade by copying others. Hicks was no exception. He copied, but added his own style. When he did paint, he would

21 paint by candlelight and continued until midnight. He painted mostly in oil, and painted on canvas.

Hicks became very involved in the Quaker religion. Religion was so important, that he spent a major part of his life preaching both in his hometown and around the country. It was also the major theme in the majority of his paintings. Most of his major works were titled Peaceable Kingdom.

The disputes between the Quakers during the early 1820‟s had given Hicks his ideas for his paintings. Alice Ford (1952) stated,

The bitter schism had its effect on Edward‟s painting. His own and Elias‟ in

the “battle”, and their allusions in sermons to biblical passages where animals

are presented in order to drive home some truth or moral, took hold of his

creative imagination, which, of course, engravings and popular prints

importantly assisted. During this decade of strife in the Society he expressed

his despair, hope, and longing for peace. Indeed his paints and brush, as well as

his sermons, were eloquent statements against the world‟s disappointments. (p.

40)

All of his Kingdoms included wild animals. The animals appear authentic, although, he had never seen a wild animal. He painted the animals in the foreground.

In the background, he painted scenes of the Indians and William Penn signing a peace treaty. On four of his Kingdom pictures, he painted George Washington crossing the

Delaware. Washington was important to him because he was the father of the country.

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He also painted some pictures with Benjamin Franklin signing The Declaration of

Independence. His paintings almost always had a theme of peace.

Because of his religion, his paintings included people or children who were completely clothed. He also put scripture or poetry around the perimeter of his pictures.

His paintings often revealed his moods during the time he painted. When he had hardships in his life, his animals were sad or angry, and when he was experiencing better times, his animals had smiles. As Ernest Goldstein (1982) explained, “Some of

Hicks most powerful Kingdoms were painted when the artist was troubled. The wild animals are far from peaceful” (p. 36).

Hicks also drew many pictures of farm life. He spent many years living on the farm. On one farm picture, he painted from a memory that he had 24 hours earlier.

He painted until he died in 1849. As ACA Galleries (1972) explained,

During the last five years of his life, his other activities curbed by failing

health, Hicks spent more time at his easel. The initial awkwardness of his

painting had disappeared, together with the experimentation of his middle

period. Though he continued to copy prints, his intuitive feeling for color and

design and a new sense of serenity that came with confidence, brought to the

height of his creative powers. (pp. 2-3)

John Kane was also a painter who started his career much later in his life. He, too, had no training because of lack of money and time. At the time when he was ready to paint, he felt he was too old to learn anything new.

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Kane was born in 1860 in Scotland. His father passed away when he was 10 years old. Kane attended school through the third grade. He worked in the shale mines in order to support the family. He also made candles. While making the candles, he thought of becoming a sculptor. He played with the wax by dipping his arm in the hot wax and peeling it off to see what would happen.

He followed his stepfather to America at the age of 19. Kane was a very healthy and strong man and prided himself on being able to perform jobs that required strength. He worked in coal mines, factories, on the railroad, and as a street paver.

When he was about 30 years old, he showed an interest in art. While working as a street paver, he would sketch the scenery that surrounded him. Kane (as cited in

McSwigan, 1966) described the setting,

The little sketches I made in those days were the same as I make today. I drew

the mills and industrial plants as well as the hills and valleys all around. You

don‟t have to go far to find beauty. It is all over everywhere, even in the street

on which you work. All you need is observation. You must look for beauty and

you will find it. And so, back and forth to work I would see many a scene that

made me stop to take down my impressions. When my back wasn‟t hunched

over blockstone, at lunch, or some other time, I would get out my pencil and

make drawings. (p. 45)

When he was 31, he experienced his first traumatic episode. While pushing his cousin out of the way of a train, his leg was run over. This incident diminished his ability to work as a laborer, and he had to come up with a new career.

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His painting career began when he was nearly 40 years old. While he was painting boxcars, he decided to paint designs on them while the other employees were eating lunch. After lunch, the scenes were painted over.

Eventually, he lost that job and decided to make portraits. The invention of photography forced him to alter his decision. He went door to door and enlarged photographs for his customers. He also used oils and pastels to add color to the pictures.

In 1904 another tragedy occurred, his only son died from typhoid fever a day after he was born. He was so devastated that he began to drink heavily and lost his desire to work.

He did eventually go back to work at a construction site. While working on this job, he found beaverboard. This board was used to build partitions. What they did not use was thrown away. He salvaged the boards and used them for painting.

He attempted art school three times in his life, but was unsuccessful because it was either too expensive or he was too busy working. He spent much of his time going to museums and libraries to copy and study art. He did not see the difference between artists copying out of books or copying nature. As Jane Kallir (1984) stated about the untrained artist, “The myth of the naive, as put forth in the writings of Kandinsky, held that the untrained artist was a wellspring of creative innocence, whose primordial instincts remained untainted by the effects of an academic education” (p. 13).

When he was 70, he stopped working for others and devoted his life to his art.

He carried his art supplies with him wherever he travelled just in case he found

25 something beautiful enough to paint or sketch. If the landscape he was painting needed to be embellished with extra houses or trees, he would do so. He would even alter paintings that had previously been exhibited. Some paintings that are thought to be missing might be ones that he painted over. He was always on a quest for the beauty in life and a desire to paint it. As Kane (as cited in McSwigan, 1966) stated,

I firmly believe that art is its own excuse and needs no justifying and that a

man who sincerely tries to reproduce beauty can do no wrong. I believe that all

artists are good honest people with a spirit of good will to all which gives

excellent example to future generations. In so doing, God will help all along

the wayside. Truth is love in thought. Beauty is love in expression. Art and

painting are both of these. (p. 95)

All three artists are similar in many ways. They all started creating their artwork later in their lives. They all showed an interest in some artistic endeavor when they were much younger, but because of responsibilities, hardships, poverty, or family, they were not able to concentrate or produce their art until they were much older.

They all painted with oil paints and were resourceful with the materials that were available to them at the time. For instance, they found unusual spaces to paint.

Grandma Moses painted on walls, Hicks on carriages, and Kane on boxcars. All three painted without formal art training, and they all learned their art through observation, trial and error, and copying nature or original art.

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Once they did begin their lives as artists, they dedicated their free time to the art. Because they were busy working during the day, they painted long hours into the night, sometimes under some harsh conditions. They were all so dedicated that they painted almost until the day they died.

The artwork of these three artists is significant in the American art world today and has been shown in the most prestigious exhibitions and museums around the world. All of them were unpretentious and felt that the process of making art was more important than the fame. Kane (as cited in McSwigan, 1966) described how he felt about doing art.

I look back on my life like a good day‟s work, it was done and I feel satisfied

with it. I was happy and contented, I knew nothing better and made the best out

of what life offered. And life is what we make it, always has been, always will

be. (p. 140)

Edward Hicks was born 80 years before Kane and Moses. Because he was heavily involved in the Quaker religion, most of his paintings reflected his religious and political beliefs. Although Hicks had drawn some pictures with farm themes,

Moses and Kane drew many more landscapes and farms. Moses drew pictures of life on the farm. She also reflected farm life in all seasons. Hicks and Kane both painted pictures with political overtones. Moses did not choose to paint any picture with religious or political views. “ Some one has asked me to paint Biblical pictures, and I say no I‟ll not paint something that we know nothing about, might just as well paint something that will happen 2 thousand years hence” (1982 p. 144).

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In conclusion, these three artists proved that despite severe hardships and with the proper motivation, it is possible to be an artist at any time in someone‟s life. They all learned their art through trial and error and were extremely dedicated to completing as many pieces as they possibly could in their lifetime. It seems as if their artwork kept them alive.

The final section of this chapter is based on the many reasons why people procrastinate or decide to stop producing art. The topic of this section is about the fear that artists feel when faced with the possibility of doing art. In addition, some possible solutions to overcoming the fear are discussed. The purpose of this section is to research the many reasons why people fear being artists and the ways that people can open up and bravely begin to create. Situations that cause people to stop creating after they grow up, and what causes them to fear the arts will be explored. This section will also investigate possible remedies that would alleviate the fear of being involved in the arts.

When children are given the opportunity to paint, draw, dance, or sing, most of them are delighted to jump right in and participate. They do not seem to have a reservation about picking up a crayon to draw a picture, dancing with other children, or singing as loud as possible. What happens to people from childhood to the time when they become adults? What causes many adults to put the arts aside either for many years or for the rest of their lives?

When children are very small, they are given a variety of opportunities to create such as finger painting on paper, dancing around the room, and painting on

28 easels. As they get older, the schools begin to focus more on the academics, while the arts are diminished and almost non-existent. In some cases when children are provided opportunities to create, they may have had teachers or parents that might have discouraged their well-meaning attempts. Maybe a child felt that a teacher praised other students‟ art and did not pay attention to their art. As film producer Don

Hahn (1998) wrote:

As we age, our creativity is put in check by well -meaning adults who shower

our fledging creative efforts with unwanted surveillance, unneeded evaluation,

and contests where our art, music, dancing, and writing are rated against those

of our peers. Society‟s need to reward the best shapes our early years and we

start to view our work as unworthy. (p. 171)

When some children enter high school, they may have a few chances to have art as an elective. Often art has been considered to be unimportant or just something to do when the work is complete. Rarely is art taught in the early grades, and even fewer opportunities to explore the arts in high schools occur.

If a high school graduate shows an interest in a profession in the arts, some parents might discourage them from pursuing it, since most professions in the arts do not seem to pay people well, compared to jobs that require math, science, or language.

The art field does not have the prestigious reputation that other professional careers do. Many students who do major in the arts end up working in a profession that is unrelated or disconnected to the arts. As David Bayles and Ted Orland (1993) stated,

“If ninety-eight percent of our medical students were no longer practicing medicine

29 five years after graduation, there would be a senate investigation, yet that proportion of art majors are routinely consigned to an early professional death” (p. 11).

Since the schools have not prepared students for the arts, and society does not readily support arts in the professional world, many people grow up without experiences and knowledge that enable them to feel comfortable making or performing art. Adults also become increasingly busy in their daily lives and find it difficult to find the time to create. They begin to believe that only the very talented can be artists. They seem to believe that if one does not have the talent by the time they are grown-up, they were not meant to be artists.

In the book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway, the author Susan Jeffers (1987) described how there was always a voice in her head telling her that she should never change her life. She should stay in a position where she was most comfortable. Even when she received a Doctorate in Education, the little voice in her head continued to hold her back with fear. Finally, Jeffers yelled at that voice and said, “Enough, enough, enough!” (p. 4). This reaction to the constant fear helped to alleviate the helplessness and helped her go forth in her life.

Jeffers (1987) suggests that there are three different levels of fear. The first level of fear includes a partial list of activities that most people will have experienced in a lifetime such as; going to school, making decisions, driving, and even making friends. This level of fear also includes fear of aging, dying, and being alone. The second level of fear has more to do with how well people can deal with the public.

Some of the fears in level two are rejection, failure, success, and disapproval. Jeffers

30 mentioned the third level of fear as, “I can‟t handle it” (p. 15). According to the author

Stephen Nachmanovitch (1990),

Buddhists speak of the Five Fears that stand between ourselves and our

freedom of loss of life; fear of loss of livelihood; fear of loss of reputation; fear

of unusual states of mind; and fear of speaking before an assembly. (p. 135)

The fifth fear of being afraid of speaking in front of an assembly is a perfect example of why many people fear performing in front of an audience, being a public speaker, or writing books. People also fear the act of creating because they fear how people will react to their art.

Many artists who deal with the public have to be subjected to criticism or judgments. There are two kinds of judgments. The first, constructive judgment is continuous and helps the process of creation by offering constant feedback while the artist is in process. The other, obstructive, could be self-imposed when an artist has writer‟s block, or it can be rejection or not being interested in an art piece. The professional critics are judging artwork put on display, plays, music, records and other forms of art. The public also judges and criticizes. Hahn (1998) suggested, “Criticism is in fact a healthy component to the creative process” (p. 187). He suggested that artists read the criticism and choose the aspects that they feel they could learn from and cause them to grow as artists.

The fear of what others will say about their art causes many people to stop while in the process of making art. In the book Art and Fear (Bayles & Orland, 1993) there is a story about a dancer who worked long hours perfecting her talent. Her

31 dancing was exceptional, brilliant, and she was highly committed to it. Then one day she was asked to join a dance troupe. As soon as she heard this, she became self- conscious, depressed, and stopped dancing for a while. When she finally continued, she was stiff and had to push herself to continue to perform what she previously loved to do. It took time for her to return to being a great dancer again.

The idea that someone will view a person‟s art can be extremely frightening to many artists. This fear can cause a paralysis, such as was mentioned in the previous story, or procrastination. When people procrastinate they put off doing the work that needs to be finished. Author Natalie Goldberg (1990) defined procrastination,

Procrastination is a cutting off. It diminishes you. Waiting is when you are

already in the work and you are feeding it and being fed by it. Then you can

trust the waiting. Do not use the excuse of „waiting‟ for the right idea or story

in order to begin. That is procrastination. (pp. 211-212)

Some artists procrastinate because they fear that they are not as good as famous and talented artists who have lived in the past or are now living. In the book

Free Play (Nachmanovitch, 1990) there is a story about Brahms. He was so concerned that he was not as good as Beethoven that it took him 22 years to complete his first symphony.

Some artists do not realize that all artists make mistakes. When artists do make errors, they may feel embarrassed, and stop doing their work. If artists could come to terms with the fact that errors will occur, then they could use those experiences to learn and continue to grow. Art museums or art shows only display great work. The

32 work does not show how many times artists had to alter their compositions or throw away art that was not any good. If artists were given the opportunity to view great artists making mistakes then they would be less fearful about working on their art. As

Hahn (1998) explained, “The willingness to discard flawed work breeds a hope in the ability to rejuvenate yourself, and a trust in the flow of new ideas and optimism in the future of your creation” (p. 176).

The need to be perfect also causes artists to delay the art process. The impact of being a perfectionist for some artists is that they do not produce very much work; they tend to have low self-esteem, artist blocks, and relationship problems. When artists set their standards too high, they become frustrated. Artists need to throw out the should statements. Clinical assistant professor David D. Burns (1980) said, “ Such statements create feelings of frustration and guilt that ironically, cause them to get stuck on the error” (p. 38). Instead, artists would do better to set their standards lower in order to do better work. The stress level is diminished and this causes the artist to relax and to finish. Bayles and Orland (1993) stated,

To demand perfection is to deny your ordinary (and universal) humanity, as

though you would be better off without it. Yet this humanity is the ultimate

source of your work; your perfectionism denies you the very thing you need to

get your work done. Getting on with your work requires a recognition that

perfection itself is (paradoxically) a flawed concept. (pp. 30-31)

Another problem that artists face is called the Impostor Phenomenon. They believe that they are fakes and one day will be found out. Many successful artists

33 believe that the only reason why they have success is because they were in the right place during the right time, or because of the gender that they are, or because someone felt sorry for them. Artists, who experience this phenomenon, may put themselves down verbally in order to validate their fears. Most of these people excelled in school, but family members rarely praised the child for his success. In her book Writing Down

The Bones (1986), Natalie Goldberg told a story about a writer who felt he was an impostor. One day he read a part of his book to a sold out crowd. They gave him many accolades for such a great performance. Even with all the praise, he still felt that he had fooled the audience.

One way to remedy this problem is to write how one feels in a notebook when doubting one‟s abilities. Then one can write feelings after once completing the work.

Being less demanding and imagining completing the task while being successful also helps, as does writing down any compliments received. Dr. Pauline Rose Clance

(1985) described how the artist behaves when he feels better about himself.

Hopefully, you‟re beginning to learn that the person who‟s been hiding

beneath your impostor mask is a capable, intelligent person who is more then

likely to continue to succeed----- and acknowledging that means you can begin

to fully enjoy and appreciate your successes without the doubt and anxiety that

have accompanied you until now. (p. 43)

Another frustration that artists have is that what they produce does not always match what they imagine it will look like. Also, artists imagine that their art will be much easier and faster to do. In reality some of the art takes much longer than they

34 thought it would take. One way to remedy this situation is to attend classes to improve artistic skills. Artwork is an unpredictable craft. People who require predictability have a tendency not to do art. Bayles and Orland believed (1993) “Uncertainty is the essential, inevitable and all-pervasive companion to your desire to make art. And tolerance for uncertainty is the pre-requisite to succeed” (p. 21).

There are many ideas that authors have in order to alleviate the fear and continue to work on the art. Author Julia Cameron (1992) suggested that artists should write whatever comes in their minds. They should write three pages daily. She calls this activity “Morning Pages” (p. 10). This exercise helps artists who feel blocked, and it enables the critic within to be quieted. It also relieves stress so that the artist can produce. Another idea that Cameron had was to have what she calls the “Artist‟s

Date” (p. 18). The artist is to spend time alone for about two hours a week. During this time artists could go to the beach, park, museums, aquarium, or just take a walk. The excursions enable the artist to think about ideas, and they lower stress. Cameron discussed how to feed the brain.

We feed it images. Art is an artist-brain pursuit. The artist brain is our image

brain, home and haven to our best creative impulses. The artist brain cannot be

reached--or triggered---- effectively by words alone. The artist brain is the

sensory brain: sight and sound, smell and taste, touch. These are the elements

of magic, and magic is the elemental stuff of art. (p. 21)

Some of the activities that she suggested doing are chopping, slicing, cooking, listening to music, and traveling. Any repetitive activity can stimulate the brain.

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Artist and author Carole Watanabe (2008) stated, “Creativity lifts you out of difficulties, over the edge of fear and on to the wildride of new possibilities” (p. 88).

One must continue to practice art and the more practice, the better the artist will be.

Natalie Goldberg (1990) suggested that writers need to write daily. Artists in all fields also need to practice and make art a habit. In the book Art and Fear (Bayles & Orland,

1993) the authors suggested that an artist should have a ritual. It was mentioned that

Ernest Hemingway wrote all his stories while standing up. This ritual helped his creativity. In order to stay fresh artists need to continue learning. Another strategy is to paint with friends or have friends come over regularly to encourage growth and development as an artist. While in the process if one suddenly experiences writer‟s block, then take a break and continue another time. As Hahn (1998) said about recovering from fear:

Making art is hard, so instead of sucking your lip away wishing you had more

talent, try this: Take your passion, knowledge, and work ethic and throw

yourself naked with arms flailing into something you love to do. Challenge

yourself to know more, love more, feel more, and work more. Continue to

learn, practice, explore, dream, and believe in yourself. Give your art your best

effort and a funny thing will happen. Any question you had about your talent

or lack of talent melts away as your personal creative self is revealed. (p. 205)

In conclusion, children would benefit more if encouraged to continue to create throughout their academic lives, and if provided with the knowledge they need to succeed as artists in the future. Maybe if children were shown that it is okay to make

36 mistakes and still be comfortable with themselves as whole beings, more people would grow-up fearless about creating in the future. Carole Watanabe (2008) wrote a clear statement about the importance of creating fearlessly.

You can‟t afford the Fear. Art is a direct route to passion. Through Art you

reveal your true self-the gifts you were born to give to the world. Art is healing

to the soul; Art makes life visible; Art shines a light into the dark side so you

can know that which cannot be accessed in any other way. Art is a truth river

in flood stage. Art is more than the painting on the wall, it is the way you live

your life, the garden you plant, the quality of your relationships, the way

dinner looks on the table.

Creating passion in your life is probably the best gift you will ever give

yourself. Passion is infectious and motivating. It inspires you to jump lightly

from your bed in the morning and to lie down at night with a feeling of

fullness. (p. 93)

When schools begin to make art an important subject, then maybe more people will have opportunities to explore their passions and contribute their creations to the world. Just as the three artists that were discussed in this chapter have given the world some beautiful art to enjoy, there are many art pieces that have not been exposed or made because of fear. By using the many possible remedies mentioned, perhaps more people will pick up a brush, pencil, pen, or any other tool necessary to create and get busy.

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Chapter 3

THE PROJECT

This project is an Alternative Culminating Experience for a Master of Arts in

Education: Curriculum and Instruction with an Elective Emphasis on Arts in

Education. It follows Pathway I: Artist as Educator. Using a narrative inquiry approach to document the journey, this researcher‟s project involved learning different kinds of art media in order to decide upon what art medium was most enjoyable. The methodology used for this project was Narrative Inquiry. Narrative is a way of documenting the history of an individual through story form. This approach has been used for many years in order to retell the history of the past. “Narrative is the study of how humans make meaning of experience by endlessly telling and retelling stories about themselves that both refigure the past and create purpose in the future”

(Connelly & Clandinin, 1988, p. 24).

Narrative Inquiry is regarded as a professional way of documenting a researcher‟s study of her experiences. According to researchers LaBoskey and Lyons

(2002, p. 2), one can see from the documentation that Narrative Inquiry is a thoughtful process involving meaning.

As inquiry, narrative involved an intentional reflective process, the actions of a

group of learners interrogating their learning, constructing and tellingthe story

of its meaning, and predicting how this knowledge might be used in the future.

We came to see that narrative was fundamentally an activity of mind, a way of

38

gathering up knowledge of practice, simply, a way of knowing, and of

knowing that one knew. (p. 3)

In order to improve as a person, as well as a classroom teacher, a researcher needs to explore ways to improve and expand upon her own knowledge. According to

Cole and Knowles (1999), “These narrative beginnings of our own livings, tellings, and retellings, and relivings help us to deal with questions of who we are in the field and who we are in the texts that we write on our experiences of the field experience”

(p. 70).

Joy Ritchie and David Wilson (2000) stated when teachers are given an opportunity “ to compose and reflect on their own stories of learning and of selfhood… the teachers can begin to resist and revise the scripting narratives of the culture and begin to compose new narratives of identity and practice” ( p. 1). This statement shows the relevance of narrative research on education.

This researcher will write Chapters 3 and 4 in first person. She has used journals to reflect upon her experiences as a student learning different visual art mediums. Then she interviewed her art instructors to better understand how they viewed her as a learner and an artist. Finally, she took pictures of the drawing and paintings she created during this period of research.

Chapter 3 will begin with a mini-biography of the researcher‟s life and how it led to why she is presently taking classes in art. Then she will document her experiences as an art student, while describing techniques that she learned, her challenges, successes, and the kind of teaching that she encountered.

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Since I was a child, I have been interested in working with children. I either assumed I would work in the medical field with them, or I was going to teach them.

Since giving children shots did not appeal to me, and I enjoy spending my day being creative, I decided to teach.

When I was very young I would play school. I set up antique desks on my driveway and invited neighborhood children to come to my outdoor classroom. I taught them how to count to 10 in Spanish.

While I was attending college, I worked in day care centers on each campus I attended. I particularly wanted to work with very young children, but realized that in order to make a decent living and work in academically challenging environments, I needed to teach in elementary schools.

After I graduated and received my teaching credential, jobs in this field were difficult to obtain. I found a position in a daycare center on a college campus. This position required teachers to have credentials, and I thought it was perfect for me at the time. I was allowed to be very creative when planning art, music, and dance to engage the children in activities.

After awhile, I realized that if I wanted to have a more lucrative career that I would need to return to school and attain a second credential. I have always been interested in working with disabled children and decided to continue my education in that field. I received an orthopedically handicapped credential and found a position in this field in a high school.

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Eventually, I ended up teaching in regular education since a teacher with more seniority than I took my job. I have been teaching primary students for the past 27 years.

When I first began teaching elementary school, teachers had more flexibility on how they wanted to teach reading, math, and other subjects. During that time, children were able to create their own books that contained pictures and stories.

During math time teachers had the flexibility to use creative ideas to reinforce skills.

Art and music was included in the curriculum on a regular basis.

Presently, the school schedule is so structured and each minute is pre- determined by the mandate of the school district. We have very little flexibility to do anything creative or exciting. I almost feel guilty if I secretly add some music and dance into my classroom.

My son grew up and moved away, and I now live alone. My life was becoming monotonous. A friend of mine suggested that I get my Master‟s degree from

Sacramento State. She knew about the Art in Education program and thought it would provide a more purposeful life for me.

I was somewhat hesitant about entering the program since I do not consider myself an artist. I wrongly assumed I needed talent in one of the arts. When I provide art in the classroom, I choose the art materials and let the children explore on their own. Since I do not have artistic training, I am limited in my ability to teach art techniques to children. Also, I am very limited in my abilities to draw figures on the board when demonstrating academic skills.

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When I was young, I stayed away from art classes. I never felt that I had the skills needed to attend art classes. I believed that people were born with artistic abilities, and I felt sure that I did not fit into that lifestyle. Yet, I did take a ceramics class in my undergraduate years and a few painting workshops.

The main purpose for this project was to explore the possibility that with the proper training I could learn an art. I also needed to explore different areas of art to decide what particular art medium would bring me enough passion that I would be driven to continue learning about it and pursuing it as a hobby. I hoped that taking art would enable me to become more fulfilled and more interesting as a person and a teacher.

The intention of this project was to further my ability to teach art to children while I am still teaching. I also hoped when I retire in a few years that I would have opportunities to use my new skills to work with children outside of the classroom. I would like to provide art activities to children who are in hospitals or homeless shelters.

My project consisted of trying different art media in order to discover what I passionately enjoyed. I took classes that taught me how to draw with drawing implements and chalk pastels, as well as watercolor classes, ceramics, and collage.

Some of the classes were one- day classes. Two of the workshops were extensive all day classes that lasted for a week. For those classes I traveled out of town.

During the fall I took ceramics at a local junior college, and I took a watercolor class in a program designed for seniors who are mostly retired. The chalk pastel class

42 took place once a month for three months. It was taught on Sundays for eight hours each Sunday.

I began my art courses during the summer of 2009. Since I was on vacation, I decided to take classes that I could travel to. I wanted to explore many environments and take the opportunity to go to art collectives and become immersed in the art world.

I discovered my first art class in a brochure. The name of this class was called

“Drawing for the Absolutely Terrified.” Since I never had any formal training, I felt that this class was perfect to begin my project. The class was located in western

Massachusetts near the town of Williamsburg. The teacher was Ted Matz.

Ted travels from Florida every summer to teach this class. He enjoys being able to take people like me who believe they are incapable of drawing and proving that anybody with the proper training can draw successfully. He believes when people learn the basics, they will have more confidence.

Ted is an accomplished artist in watercolor, collage, drawing, and mixed media. He especially enjoys teaching new artists how to draw since that is the basis for all other art mediums.

The art class that I attended was located on a farm in the country. In order to reach this farm, I had to travel into the mountains amongst lush vegetation and evergreen trees. It was called Snow Farm. It had beautiful lawns, a lake, and art sculptures. Gorgeous flowers flowed throughout the property. The farm has many original buildings. Each building housed art studios. Many art classes were going on at

43 the time that I was there, including classes in ceramics, making glass bead jewelry, fused glass, and a class in Photoshop.

The art studio where I learned how to draw was a beautiful farmhouse. Each day Ted set up several wooden easels and tacked up a poster with different words of encouragement. One example of a poster said, “If you can write your name, you can draw.” Another one said, “ Good Morning! Have a nice day.” He always set up a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the environment. Every composition that he arranged had floodlights shining directly down on the objects.

The first day of class I was apprehensive and nervous about even taking an art class. He organized several vases and bowls with apples. We were instructed to draw what we saw for twenty minutes. This first picture was a baseline for our growth throughout the week. I attempted to copy the composition and finished well before the

20 minutes were up (see Appendix A, Figure 1).

I had the opportunity to try different implements while learning to draw. We used graphite, charcoal, and black pastels. He even showed us how to draw with burnt cork. Burnt cork adds soft lines to the drawings.

After the first drawing, I spent time learning some gesturing movements. I made some wide large circles all over the paper to get the feeling of fluidity. Ted suggested that drawing at easels allowed our arms to get a more complete range of motion than if we drew at tables.

During the week Ted had many techniques that were important to learn in order to be successful. One lesson was that when I needed to draw more then one

44 object in a composition, I should begin with the object that is in the front first. Then I should progress to the next object until I had drawn all the objects. In order to accurately place the second object next to the first object, I needed to hold a pencil at arms distance away from me to understand exactly what position to place it. He also said when drawing objects, I need to look at both positive and negative space.

Negative space is the area surrounding the object, and positive space is the object. In order to get the objects to look symmetrical, I learned to draw the first side of an object, and then draw a light line down the center of the object. After I drew that line, I could measure the distance to the other side of the vase so that it would look balanced.

He also showed me how to make circular or elliptical lines on my vases in order to make them look round. Another important technique is to begin drawing my object from the top first. Then draw vertical lines down towards the bottom so that I knew where to draw the base. This technique helped me when I found that the bottom of the vase was far away from the top of the vase.

Some of my pictures represented the perspective of looking down towards the object, when in actuality I was looking at the side of the object. Thus, when I attempted to draw a stack of boxes, Ted suggested that I should draw three vertical lines starting at the top of the stack and working down. I drew them, as I was looking at them sideways. I attached the vertical lines with horizontal lines and attempted to get perspective.

While learning to draw, we only had implements that were gray or black. Ted showed us the different degrees of value that we could use to draw. White is the

45 lightest value, then each color gets progressively darker until one gets to black, which is the darkest value. Because we did not use color to draw, my values were based on how heavy or lightly I was shadowing objects. In order to give an object dimension, it needed at least three values. Also, when I drew an object behind another object, I needed to use a darker value of shading on the object in the background in order for the object in the front to pop out. I also needed to use the darkest value of shading in a corner where two objects met. After drawing in the composition, drawing in the shadows around the objects was very important in order to complete the picture.

During the week long class Ted made several suggestions that came from the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain (Edwards, 1989). One suggestion was to place my hand at the top of the writing utensil while drawing. Ted also had us practice contour drawings. While doing contour drawings, we were only looking at the object not the paper. The pencil stays on the paper, and we do not lift it while drawing. This is a timed exercise. He mentioned that if I do this exercise daily that my drawing skills would improve because I am improving my ability to see.

Since I had not had any formal art training before taking this course, everything I tried seemed challenging. Some of the vases that I drew were out of proportion. Once the top of my vase did not match the base. Then, on the second day of the class I experienced my major breakdown and frustration.

Ted stacked three boxes on top of each other. Each box was stacked in a different direction. The bottom box that I drew was drawn at the wrong angle. Ted came over to demonstrate how to draw it correctly. On my second picture, I attempted

46 to draw the same composition. My first box turned out proportionately correct, my second box was off kilter, and my third box appeared to be inside the middle box instead of on top of it. He came over to assist, but I was so frustrated that tears started streaming down my face while he was talking to me. At that point, I was about ready to quit art altogether. Everybody in the class had completed pictures to hang on the wall except for me. I cried all the way to lunch. After eating some food and talking to some very supportive people, I felt better and was ready to continue to learn.

After this experience the rest of the week improved. Even though I did make some mistakes, nothing else frustrated me as much as the three boxes. I learned to be more patient with myself and to take my time. On the fourth day he put out a very challenging composition, a coalscuttle, two apples, a vase, and a small clay cup. We had the option to choose which objects we wanted to draw. I decided to draw all of the objects. I discovered that I enjoyed drawing with the graphite stick more than the other tools because it looked better, and I seemed to have more control over it. By lunch the other students in the class all gathered around my picture and talked about how much I improved. Ted compared this drawing with my first drawing. By the end of the day he just looked at my picture, smiled, and said, “Wow!” (see Appendix A, Figure 2).

I really enjoyed having Ted as an instructor. He always challenged us with different kinds of compositions. He was always walking around the room to help us.

One thing that he did do that I felt he should of done differently was that he demonstrated how to draw on my paper, instead of demonstrating on a different piece

47 of paper. He was very positive, supportive, and made me believe that I was capable of drawing anything.

During that week at Snow Farm, I learned so much about the basics of drawing. I learned about perspective and shading. On the last day of the week, I was able to create my own composition. I chose a block to place in my picture. Ted was shocked that I would even consider anything with corners and straight lines since drawing them was my problem on the second day. But, I felt much more confident on the last day. My picture turned out great! (see Appendix A, Figure 3).

On the final day of the week, we had an art show. We were to hang up our first picture next to our last picture in order to show our growth. The other students at

Snow Farm were astounded with the growth that all of us made in a week‟s time.

Ted mentioned in his interview that he had always been interested in doing art.

He has a fond memory from his childhood of watching a little girl drawing in the sand with a stick. He spent many hours with her drawing in the sand. He always had a passion to create.

In order to grow as an artist he believes that I should continue my thirst for visual information by traveling, visiting museums, and talking to other artists. I should also continue to experiment with many kinds of art materials. Ted experiments and uses all kinds of papers and art materials. He does not just stay with one kind of art medium. He believes they all have some value.

As I continue my life as an artist, I should avoid comparing my artwork with others. Instead I should look at other pieces of art as a way of learning, questioning

48 how they did it, and discovering how to create my own pieces. While I continue to search for my passion, I should keep an open mind, talk to as many people as possible, continue to practice, and search for my own style. During the week that he spent with me, he saw my confidence in making pictures increase. He saw more confident mark making. From the first drawing until the last, he saw a sense of “Wow!”

Shortly after I returned home, I was inspired enough to set up a composition in my living room. I placed a tall blue bottle next to a huge pink teacup, and a light blue saucer. Then, I added a decorative tile that has a picture of a lovely pink rose. I drew the composition, and was mostly delighted with the results. I did have some difficulty drawing the handle on the cup, since it does require some training in drawing perspective. A friend of mine came over and showed me how to draw the handle.

After I drew the picture, I worked long hours to do the shading. I enjoyed the process of drawing and shading and found it to be a relaxing activity.

Two weeks later I went on my second major adventure with a friend of mine.

We drove through the redwoods to the ocean, until we reached our destination in a beautiful little town called Mendocino. Mendocino is located in Northern California overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This picturesque area is full of charming Victorian bed and breakfast establishments, gorgeous lush gardens, wind swept trees, and old weathered buildings. We stayed at the Mendocino Art Center. We had two windows in our bedroom opening to a fabulous view of the ocean. We were rather fortunate to have blue skies all week, since Mendocino usually has fog during the summer.

49

The class that I took was a plein-air watercolor painting class. It was located in the Mendocino Art Center. This place is similar to Snow Farm because it is also an art collective. Artists from all over the country come there for the purpose either to teach or learn various kinds of art. Charlotte Severin taught the class.

Charlotte is an accomplished plein-air watercolor artist. She enjoys coming to

Mendocino every year to teach plein-air painting along the edge of the Pacific Ocean.

She had painted many pictures depicting scenes of places that she has visited while travelling throughout the world. While teaching her class she was trying to convince me to purchase some her many DVD‟s that she made on how to paint with watercolors.

I assumed that since this class was welcoming all levels of artists, we all would be learning about how to paint. Yet, my friend and I were the only people in the class who never had painted before. I never even knew what the definition of plein-air was until about two weeks before I took this class. I was in for a rude awakening.

On the first day of class Charlotte introduced herself, showed some of her artwork, and then told us to pack up our gear and head out to paint on location.

It was a very cold, foggy morning. I did not come as prepared as I should have.

We were sitting in an extremely muddy, grassy field next to a museum. The stool that

I brought with me was slowly sinking into the mud. I brought a tabletop easel with me that I propped on a portable tray that was quite flimsy.

Here I was on my first day of painting, and I was instructed to sketch the scene in front of me. I attempted to trace the building that was directly in front of me as well

50 as the beautiful tall trees. After drawing the building, I learned that it was the public restroom for the town.

Charlotte sat next to me, since she was aware that I had never painted before.

She told me how to use the cover of my tablet to make the horizon. The horizon is what a person sees at eye level. After I drew in most of the picture, she redrew the rocks and trees in order to improve the scene. Then I took a large wet brush to paint water onto my tablet. After my paper was sufficiently wet, I dipped my brush into blue paint and painted the sky. Then I tipped my tablet downwards so that the blue would run down my paper. After painting the sky, I took a tissue and blotted out several areas so that it looked like clouds. She told me to mix Cobalt violet with Cobalt blue to paint the horizon. Then I mixed Viridian green and Cobalt blue to paint the ocean. We stopped painting and went back to the studio to complete it later in the day.

The first day was very emotional for me. I was sure that I made a mistake for signing up for such an incredibly tough assignment. I was trying to find the correct green to use for the bushes in front of the building. After painting them, I felt that I had destroyed my picture. Charlotte took my picture and showed it to the students. She asked the class what I could do to improve the picture. A lady in the class brought me a wet sponge so that I could get rid of my green bushes. I was so over whelmed with the entire experience that I left for the day and cried in my room. After my roommates came into the room and talked to me, I felt much better. I never did complete that picture.

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The second day, we went out on location again. We went to a location called

Portuguese Flat. We placed our easels by the road overlooking a beautiful grassy field, the ocean, and some houses in the distance. I was very interested in painting some beautiful charming houses, but when I looked at the perspective needed to draw them,

I turned my chair around so I could paint the ocean. I used the same techniques that I learned the day before to paint the scene. While we were painting the wind blew my easel over several times, but I was able to complete my picture without tears. I believe

I was more successful this time because I did not have a building to paint, and I was able to use what I had learned the day before.

As we were painting, some cars drove slowly past us to see what we were painting. I thought it was quite humorous to think people thought that I was an artist with a painting worth viewing.

At the end of the day I felt that my second picture was much better than the first. I was able to mix a much better green for my bushes, and in order to add interest

I added purple flowers to the field. Charlotte was very impressed with my picture (see

Appendix A, Figure 4).

The third day of this adventure was my favorite day. We painted in a garden behind a bed and breakfast establishment. The garden was full of beautiful flowers.

There was a huge, yellow rain tree that drooped over the garden. I walked around the building several times before I found what I wanted to paint.

Under a beautiful window in back of the hotel was a pot of red geraniums. The window had a white curtain that was pulled to the side with a sash. I thoroughly

52 enjoyed sitting in the garden while painting the window. Every so often Charlotte would come over to give me pointers on what colors to use for the house or the window, and sometimes I would ask her for advice.

She asked me to paint the flowers first. I used watered down Alizarin Crimson for them. For the wooden slats on the side of the house, I used Ochre and for the crevices I used a nice lavender. Charlotte showed me how to use a watered down turquoise to paint the curtains. I blotted it with a tissue to make them look more like sheer curtains. I was extremely content with the results of this picture (see Appendix

A, Figure 5).

On the fourth day we stayed in the studio and played all day. She showed us a paper called Yupo paper. This product is very thick and expensive. One side is shiny and smooth, and the other side has more texture. We used many materials and paint to explore the possible ways to use the paper. One positive reason to use this paper is that when an artist makes a mistake on it, it can be wiped away without a trace.

I used a picture of some purple flowers as a model for painting onto the paper.

After I painted some designs, I sprinkled some salt on it. The salt caused the paint to bubble up. Then I sprinkled rubbing alcohol on another area of the picture, and this caused the paint to dissipate, while making it look like large circles. I pressed bubble wrap in one corner, and corrugated cardboard on another area. I also used saran wrap and creased it up in another corner. After I took all my objects off my picture, I used a toothbrush dipped in brown paint to sprinkle specks of paint in different areas. I truly enjoyed playing in the class, and had fun experimenting with various different

53 materials. I was not concerned at all about how my picture looked and before I knew it, we all had to go home.

I enjoyed Charlotte as a person and a teacher. She did help me with some of my pictures and was very complimentary; yet, I do not think she can relate with people like me who have very little experience with painting. She told me what to do and what colors to blend or use for each picture. She seemed frustrated when I asked her more than once how to paint something. If she was not happy with my painting, she corrected it herself. She also spent most of the time making her own pictures while we were on location. I was hoping for more help since this was such a new experience.

During my interview with Charlotte, I learned that art was always very important in her life. Her grandfather was a professional artist. When he passed away, his art materials were donated to her. When she was 12, she received several years of formal art lessons from two impressionist artists from Europe. This training was a pivotal turning point in her decision to be a professional artist.

In order to improve as an artist, she suggested that I continually look at objects and become very aware of color. I should refrain from listening to criticism unless it is constructive. I need to find out what pleases me and not to worry about awards. She made a strong suggestion that I should read the book, Drawing on the Right Side of the

Brain (1989). The exercises in that book would help develop my right brain, and my art would improve

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Through her observation, she believes that I already enjoy painting and color.

She thinks that I am too much of a perfectionist. She also suggested that I paint daily, and this will help me improve over time.

Since I was interested in trying different art media, I searched local art galleries and joined two art clubs in order to locate classes. Luckily, I found a pastel class at a local gallery in town. The brochure mentioned that all levels were welcome, so I joined as soon as possible.

The pastel class was held once a month on the third Sunday of each month. We met for a total of three months. Each class started at 10:00 in the morning and lasted until 5:00 in the afternoon.

The instructor‟s name was Tina Moore. She was an accomplished artist in both oil painting and pastels. She retired as a high school art teacher and now spends her time teaching blind children to paint. She also enjoys teaching people how to draw with pastels in workshops. She had recently won an award (Distinguished Pastelist) from the Pastel Society of the West Coast.

Tina especially enjoys, but is not limited to, creating pastel pictures depicting wild and domestic animals and flowers from tropical areas.

The gallery where I took the class is located in a beautiful, quaint business area. It had large windows to showcase art created by local artists. There are various kinds of art in this gallery, some hanging on the wall, and the wearable art was housed in glass cases. Also, tables spread throughout the gallery, displaying sculptures and ceramic pieces.

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I was excited about trying pastels. I felt that the drawing class that I had earlier in the summer had prepared me for the next step, which was drawing with color.

When I entered the gallery, I noticed that most of the students brought their artwork and all of their equipment necessary to draw. Almost everyone there were already pastel artists. They wanted to receive pointers on how to improve. A few people were artists in other media and wanted to learn how to use pastels. I was the only one who had brand new art materials and was artistically inexperienced.

Tina began the class by showing us some of her pictures. She had this incredible picture of a tiger. It was so realistic, I wanted to pet it. She also had a realistic picture of an adorable little girl.

On the first day, she had a composition of some pears and a plant with many leaves. Since I was the only student who was using the composition, I switched the plant for a bluish gray clay pot, and placed the pears next to the pot (see Appendix A,

Figure 6). On my second visit there were no compositions, so I searched the gallery for something to draw. I found a lovely Philodendron in the bathroom. Since I wanted to add interest to the picture, I found two apples to place in that composition (see

Appendix A, Figure 7). On the third and final day of the class, I came prepared with a colorful bouquet of flowers and a glass vase (see Appendix A, Figure 8).

Tina always demonstrated how to draw with pastels in the beginning of each class. One time she showed us how to drizzle water on the pastel background in order to receive a dramatic background for the pictures. After her demonstrations, she

56 walked around the tables and personally assisted each person with helpful suggestions for improvements or giving praise for accomplishments.

I used a special paper called Wallis paper. She recommended this kind of paper for pastels. She said that the chalk looks creamier on this kind of paper. I began each picture by sketching with a pencil. While drawing the first picture, Tina came by and suggested that I raise my second pear and shorten the top of it. I added many shades of green in order to add interest to the pears. I also added a darker green on the part of the pear that was next to the pot, so it will stand out. Tina suggested that I use yellow for the pear shadows. I also used darker shades of color on the vase that was behind the pears, so they show up better. Tina mentioned that most pastel artists place the dark colors on the picture first and then add the lighter colors later.

After I was finished coloring the vase, Tina suggested that I use black to trace the perimeter of it. Then, I used a circular movement in order to create an illusion of roundness on the bottom of the vase.

During the third class, Tina showed me how to make quick sketches in order to figure out where each flower in the bouquet will be placed. She told me to use the pastels instead of a pencil to add the details. When I was finished coloring in a single layer of petals on the sunflower, Tina showed me how to draw brown lines between the petals to create a multitude of layers.

Although I truly enjoyed drawing with pastels, I found many challenges, especially with perspective. On the first day when I was drawing the pears, the stem of one was facing me. Tina told me to shorten the top to solve my issues. My

57 composition was placed on a cloth that had creases. I had difficulty finding the right color for it, and making the creases. By studying it, I realized that the end of each crease was pointy. So, I corrected my drawing accordingly. Another challenge was to find a color that would create the illusion of glass. I used gray, but it really did not look like glass. On the last day, I did not realize how challenging it would be to draw many flowers. I began to pull flowers out of the original bouquet and settled on eight.

The sunflower was the most difficult to draw because it had several layers of petals.

Tina showed me how to create multiple layers.

The biggest challenge with pastels is that I have a set of 72, and it is hard to know what color to use. Also, the pastels are very thick, and I did not know how to make very thin lines. I‟m sure with more training and practice that I will be able to resolve these issues.

I found that drawing with pastels were very relaxing and enjoyable. I was pleased that I had a drawing class before I took the pastel class. Although I did need some help, I was drawing on my own. This is the first art class without tears or frustration. My favorite picture from this workshop was the one with the

Philodendron. The leaves looked very much like the actual plant, and it was easier to draw.

Tina was very pleasant and helpful. She was always busy assisting students with problems or giving suggestions to them. I would take a class from her again.

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Tina mentioned in her interview that she was always interested in art. She painted often as a child. When she went to high school, she took an art class from a very good art teacher. Because of her, she was encouraged to continue in art.

She suggested that I continue to make art and to keep taking classes. I need to go through tough times in order to succeed. I should continue to practice, because for most people, they do not become great over night. I should avoid trying to paint a certain style right away. As I continue to practice, I will eventually find what I am best at doing and what my passion will be.

During the three days that she observed my work, she noticed that I see more, and I am using different colors and strokes. She mentioned that I definitely have the ability to draw, and I showed progress in my abilities.

For the ceramics class, I decided to stay close to home. I signed up for the fall semester at the local junior college (Delta College). The class was full, but I persevered and was allowed to stay in the class.

Most of the students in the class were older people who are very experienced and talented with ceramics. It was obvious by observing them that they were at ease with the potter‟s wheel, and also they were etching the most intricate designs in their creations. I was in the other group in the class who were inexperienced with clay.

Joe is a very experienced ceramist. He has been teaching at the college for a very long time and also actively makes his own clay creations.

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Since I was new at clay, Joe had certain requirements that all of us needed to complete in order to pass the class. So, the first thing that I had to learn how to make was a slab pot. Joe spent the first class demonstrating how to build it.

The slab pot was a very involved process that took many classes to complete.

After I bought my new bag of clay, I opened it, set two half-inch sticks on either side, and used a cutting wire to slice over the sticks and through the clay. I repeated this process four more times. I took two slabs, overlapped them about a half an inch and with the palm of my hand, I pounded them together. I repeated this process until all four slabs became one long slab. I used a wadded up cylindrically shaped newspaper to place on one end of the slab. I rolled it up carefully and when both ends met over the paper, I sealed the clay ends. Then, I added the fifth slab for the bottom of the cylinder. I pressed the edges of the fifth slab onto the base of the cylinder and pulled out the newspaper from the center. Then I sealed all of the seams, both inside and outside of the pot. I took a paddle to paddle the pot into a bulbous shape. I put my hand in the pot, and placed the back of it against the clay. Then I paddled the clay while I slowly moved my hand up. This process helped to elongate the vase and thin out the walls. I spent many sessions paddling the vase into shape. When the pot had the correct shape, I took another slab of clay to place over the opening on the pot, and sealed the edges. Now the pot was covered on both ends. I poked a tiny hole into the center of the new top, placed an oval wooden object onto the center, which caused it to form an indentation. I turned it over and cut a four-inch circle into the other side. Then

I paddled until my pot took on a form of a vase. The top edges of the pot started to

60 come out, away from the center. When it was completely dry, I sanded it. Then I painted some vines and leaves onto the outside surface with under glazes. It went through bisque firing. Finally, I painted the pot with low fire transparent glaze and had it fired. The vase took on a yellow, beige background, green leaves, and black lines surrounding the exterior of it (see Appendix A, Figure 9).

Another object that I made was a small swan. I took some clay and rolled it up into a ball. I used my thumb and fingers to hollow it out so that it looked like a small bowl. I repeated this procedure to make a second bowl. I attached the rims of both bowls and sealed the edges. My clay figure was egg shaped and hollow. I originally was going to make a turtle, so I drew lines on the top of the figure with a sharp utensil to create the shell. Then, I rolled out a long piece of clay and attempted to shape it into a turtle‟s head. I dug a small hole into the body and inserted the head after scoring the edges of the hole and neck with my tools.

Scoring involves taking a sharp utensil and making small scratches onto the clay. This process facilitates the clay pieces to stay together before and during the firing process. I also needed to add very wet clay called slip to the edge of the opening to help the appendages stay in place.

As I kept working on this piece, I realized that it no longer looked like a turtle.

It was beginning to take on the features of a swan. So, I created two flat pieces of clay that resembled swan wings. I made two slits in the top of the figure and after scoring both sides of the wings and adding slip, I inserted them into the slits and sealed up the edges. I asked a fellow student how I could make the face look more like a swan. He

61 suggested that I should flatten the beak and make it narrow. He also suggested that I smooth the clay around the neck.

After the swan dried, I used my glaze to paint it white. I painted wax on the bottom so it would not stick to the kiln. Then I used long tongs to hold the swan in place, and I dipped it in a bucket full of high fire glaze. I was pleased with the results.

After it came out of the kiln, it was off white with a glossy finish (see Appendix A,

Figure 10).

Although, I mostly enjoyed this class, I felt challenged by my inexperience and inability to create figures that resembled something. I also felt that I should of accomplished more then I did. Joe required all of the new students to complete the slab pot, make six clay figures, and finish a clay tile project. I did complete the pot, but I only made two clay figures. I made a jack o‟lantern that was very juvenile, and I am not happy with it. The other figure was the swan, which was supposed to be a turtle originally. I also never had time or interest in finishing the tiles. When I did decide I was going to stencil out a picture on them, somebody already had thrown them away. I also did not enjoy all the paddling I had to do on the vase in order to create a descent shape. I had to paddle most of the class, and I felt bored with the process.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy the results of the vase. I am glad that I worked so hard to accomplish such an arduous task. I am also glad that I drew the leaves on the vase. Joe was insistent that my artwork was reminiscent of Andy Warhol‟s style. He even took me to his office and showed me paintings by Warhol and how much his

62 style resembled mine. It made me feel proud that my art would be similar to what a famous artist had already accomplished.

Although there were days that I had to push myself to attend class, I was glad when I did attend. Mostly, I enjoyed the process of working with clay. I also enjoyed the people in the class. As we were working, we spent time talking and laughing. I do not know of any other artistic discipline where people feel free to talk while creating.

Joe was very helpful as an instructor. He was always walking around the room and helping students. I never felt that I had to wait very long for assistance. Sometimes he took my vase and fixed it himself. But mostly, he was instrumental in teaching me how to accomplish my goals. He had a positive attitude and was very complimentary, when I had finished projects. I never heard him say negative comments. He always played jazz on the radio while we were working on our projects. I felt like the music and his upbeat personality set a positive tone for the class.

In my interview with Joe, he stated that he always enjoyed art. Whenever anybody asked him what he wanted to do, he would say that he wanted to be an artist.

He used anything he had around to be creative. He mentioned that when he was young he drew with ketchup. He never knew exactly what he wanted to do until he entered college. He took a ceramics class and was hooked for the rest of his life. He mentioned that his joy and passion is to find time to make objects out of clay. When he does find the time, it feels so natural and calming.

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He suggested that I should avoid being too critical with myself when I am just learning. If I want to increase my skills, I should connect with ceramic artists. By his observations of my work, I have the skills necessary to make ceramics.

The final art class that I attempted during my exploration as an artist was a beginning watercolor class. This class is in a program designed specifically for retired people. It is located on the campus of The University of the Pacific in the Art

Department.

The instructor‟s name is Deanna Hunt. She has a Master‟s degree in Fine Arts.

She had lived in Italy for nine years and is fluent in Italian. While she was there, she documented her travels and experiences by taking notes and drawing in her diaries.

She teaches art, Italian, and yoga through the Osher program at UOP.

On the first day of class she started by showing us her diaries. The art in the diaries were quite impressive. Since this is a beginning class, it was full of techniques that were basic to watercolor. One of the first techniques that we were taught was pure contour drawing. This technique is used to increase the ability of the artist to notice subjects with more intensity and to increase the ability to see. When an artist is doing this technique, she is looking at the object that is being drawn and not at the paper. I used my sandal as a subject for this exercise. For five minutes we were told to keep our eyes on the object and our pencils on the paper. The next exercise was called modified contour drawing. During this exercise I could look at my paper when I needed to change direction. Then, we learned about negative and positive space. This

64 technique was mentioned earlier in this paper. During this exercise, I drew a chair while only looking at the area around the chair.

One of the first painting lessons was called a non-objective approach. This technique involved making geometric lines over the page to create an abstract grid.

We were instructed to use only six colors at first. Each color would be placed in a different area of the paper. The first layer of colors was transparent washes. This process involves taking a color that has been watered down and applying with firm consistent strokes of paint with the brush. After the colors were placed on the paper, we were to use the color wheel in order to locate the next color to be used. We were told to move sideways on the color wheel. If I started with yellow as my first color then my next color would be a yellow –orange or a yellow- green painted over one of the yellow spaces. As I progressed, I kept checking the color wheel to decide upon the next color to paint on the grid. When I was done I had a mosaic of color. Most of the spaces ended up being opaque, since I kept adding color.

One day she had a composition of squashes and autumn fruit piled on a table.

There were far too many to draw. We were told to pick two to five objects to draw.

First, I used a viewfinder made out of strips of cardboard to see exactly what I wanted to paint. I also made a few thumbnail sketches to figure out the placement of each vegetable. I decided to draw a picture of the pumpkin and two squashes. I sketched the picture with my pencil. I mixed the colors I needed for each item, and placed it carefully on my paper. Deanna said it was important to use the entire paper for this

65 picture. She showed me how to put the color on my page, rinse the brush, shake out the water, and then use the brush to blend the color over my picture.

One day we had a composition that included items that were white. She used white bowls, eggs, and anything else that was white. This was a study of the different values of whites and grays. We learned that if we studied every white and gray item, that we could become aware that they all were not the same. We made a circle with our hands and looked through it to study each white and gray wall, to notice the different values. Another day we did a separate lesson that also included a study of white. This time we were told to use one color for the entire picture. I decided to use red for my picture. I painted a darker value of red behind my objects, in order to demonstrate that I was painting white objects. I painted a dark red on the bottom and the red became progressively lighter as I went towards the top of each object (see

Appendix A, Figure 11).

I had many challenges throughout this class. In order to teach us how to do each technique, Deanna would demonstrate. After her demonstrations, it seemed that I had limited time in order to work on my pictures. I also was more frustrated with watercolor this time. She mentioned that once we put the paint on the paper we should not continue to go back over the painted area until it dried. But I kept painting over areas that I was not happy with, and the results were not very good. I made watermarks, and noticed that in some areas, it looked like I scribbled with my brush. I only have one completed picture from ten lessons. When I painted the picture of the squashes, it was difficult to mix the combination of colors that most resembled them. I

66 also had problems when I painted one squash on top of another one. I still have so much to learn about painting objects that stack. I also felt frustrated by the fact that the class was so large, she did not have enough time to help students.

When I painted the non-objective painting, I enjoyed the process because I did not feel pressure to make it resemble anything. I found it to be a very relaxing activity to be involved in. I also thought I had success when I painted the monochromatic picture. The objects in my picture turned out well. It was interesting to paint an entire picture with one color and to notice the many different values I can create.

Deanna is a very talented, pleasant person, and is passionate about watercolor.

She spent much of the class time demonstrating how to paint, so our time was limited for making our own pictures. She wanted her students to spend more time at home working on the skills that were taught. She also did not have time to spend helping students, since there were so many of them.

When I interviewed Deanna, I found out that she had many interests. She enjoyed dancing, drawing, writing, and playing the piano. She was trying to decide upon the most practical path for her life. When she was a child, she had to endure many surgeries and long stays in the hospital. Because of her experience with doctors, she thought of becoming a medical illustrator. When she went to college, she realized that art was much more her forte than medicine, so she decided to study art.

She suggested that if I would study yoga, it would help me focus and increase my artistic skills. Also, I should avoid negative language. Instead of saying that I do not have time for art, I should be more positive. She commented that I have a 16- year-

67 old spirit and a positive attitude towards my future. She also suggested that I should spend some time studying art while traveling abroad.

Chapter 3 has included an explication of the methodology of Narrative Inquiry.

It also has an account of my personal history of why I decided to explore the visual arts in order to discover my passion and what it has meant to my work as a teacher.

Finally, it shows the process of the project and artifacts of the project.

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Chapter 4

REFLECTIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

The purpose of this project was to learn and explore different art media with the intention of finding at least one discipline that I would find exciting. I wanted to continue to improve and spend my available time being involved in it. I also took these art courses so that I could take the skills that I learned into my classroom.

In this chapter, I reflect upon my experience as an art student, by writing about the challenges, successes, and feelings I had about each discipline. I also explain how this experience has affected me both personally and professionally. Finally, I recommend the importance of including visual art in the schools to enhance the learning and lives of children.

During the summer, I felt fortunate that I was able to take the opportunity to travel to different art collectives outside of my area in order to learn art. I am also glad that the first class I took was called “Drawing for the Absolutely Terrified,” since I never had learned the basics of drawing. I felt that class prepared me for the rest of the classes that I participated in.

This class was located in Massachusetts, so I was fortunate to have the time and available finances that afforded me the opportunity to explore this territory. I met the most wonderful and kind people while I was there. The instructor was passionate about teaching beginners, which personally enriched my experience.

This class taught me the basics of drawing. Since this was my first experience,

I felt frustrated and had some moments of tears. I especially felt challenged when I

69 had to draw perspective. By the end of the weeklong class, I discovered that I can draw, and I have several pictures proving that with determination and perseverance, I can accomplish new challenges. It is never too late to learn.

After travelling across the country to take a drawing class, I had another exciting adventure. I was able to learn how to do plein-air painting in Mendocino,

California. It was an exciting and very challenging experience. I had never painted anything before. Once there, I was willingly thrown into painting the rugged landscape along the Pacific Ocean.

This experience challenged me, as I had to learn many new lessons very quickly. I had to learn how to mix colors, to paint scenery, and to paint perspective.

The entire experience was difficult, but provided me with an opportunity to explore my abilities. During this week, I also had tears because it was all so new, and I felt overwhelmed because I had no idea what I was doing.

By the end of the week I found that I was capable of painting, but decided that before I subjected myself to plein-air painting again, I should learn the basics of color and watercolor painting.

The drawing class that I had taken in the summer had prepared me for drawing compositions. The pastel class allowed me to draw and use color. I found that pastels were much easier to use than watercolor. Tina, the teacher, was very supportive and was always available when I needed assistance. I truly enjoyed this class.

I spent the fall semester learning how to build objects with clay. Since I was a student and a beginner, I did not have choice about what I could make, although, I did

70 have the freedom to paint my own design on my vase. I enjoyed manipulating clay, but was very frustrated in my ability to create objects that resembled something.

Finally, I took a beginning watercolor class. I should have taken this class before the plein-air experience. I would have had a better understanding of how to correctly mix colors, how to locate complementary colors on the color wheel, and how to paint color washes on the paper. This class was designed specifically for beginners.

I enjoy this class and am presently still enrolled in it. I find watercolor very challenging because it is so easy to destroy a painting. To be successful in watercolor, a person needs patience and opportunities to practice at home. The students who practice outside of class are more successful. The instructor has so many students that she does not have time to assist them. I feel that if she could spend more time with me, that I would improve. I feel insecure about painting with watercolor. I only have one painting that I am satisfied with from this class.

I enjoyed the process of taking art classes. The time period was too short to take as many kinds of art necessary, in order to discover my passion. I also found that every time I took a different type of art class, I had to purchase more art supplies. I was going to try to take an oil painting class. The instructor listed all the materials I would have to purchase, but I decided not to attend this class because of the cost.

My intention was to find an art class that I would feel so passionate about that I would spend my free time immersed in it. The media that I did enjoy was drawing with both pastels and graphite. I enjoyed the challenge of drawing what I visualize in front me. I found that pastels and graphite are easy to use and manipulate. They are

71 also easy to travel with. I was more frustrated with watercolor. I do enjoy going out in nature and locating small plants, and trying to paint them. I do not think that I found my passion, but I am so thankful for the experience of being able to explore the art world. This experience opened up my eyes to so many opportunities that are possible.

When I retire in a few years, I know that I will be able to continue my exploration in the arts. I will set up a room in my house to create. I have no idea what I will do, but I now know I am able to draw and can be successful in the arts. I see the world differently now. When I am walking in nature, I now want to paint what is in front of me. The tulips on my dining room table are saying, “Paint me! Paint me!”

When I interviewed the instructors who taught me, some common themes were evident. Most of them asked me to restrain from comparing my artwork with others around me. Most of them strongly suggested that I need to continue taking workshops and practicing at home. Some mentioned that making mistakes is inevitable, but I need to persevere. I could learn from my mistakes in order to improve. Most importantly, I should never give up.

This experience has opened up my eyes about the importance of exposing art to the children in my classroom. I feel that the result of introducing art to children would cause them to find out how much fun it could be, and they will not have the same apprehensions that I faced as an adult.

I now have more ideas for materials that I could use with the children. I will be able to use the new skills that I learned, and show the children how to also create

72 pictures. I am excited to show them what I learned about complementary colors, and how to draw objects that are present in the room or outside.

The way that the school system is presently operating, we use pacing guides that dictate exactly what lessons to teach during the day. The only opportunity that my students have for art is when we see the art and music teachers once every other week.

I personally get very little time to be creative with my students.

It is pathetic how my second graders have to sit behind desks for most the day trying to learn the required standards, many of which are irrelevant to their experiences. The saddest part of the educational system today is the amount of testing that these small students are subjected too. Almost every week I receive a pile of tests in my box to administer to them. We were advised to make it a very joyful time, and to show them how wonderful it is to take tests. I feel that we are deceiving the students and the parents by continuing this charade. Every one is stressed because if we do not pass the state tests, my principal could lose her job, and we could possibly be taken over by the state. We are now spending every free moment teaching towards the tests.

If only the State Department of Education, the lawmakers, administrators, and the other professionals responsible for education would stop for a minute and think how they are so adversely affecting our students in this state.

For developmental reasons, children should be engaged in their learning and need many opportunities for exploration in order to learn. When they are investigating through their senses, they become more engaged, involved, curious, and will retain information in a more meaningful way.

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The State Department of Education would be advised to read books by Donald

Arnstine (1967) who believes that children learn best when they are excited about their education, or Elliot Eisner (1998), who is an advocate for infusing the schools with enriching activities that spark the synapses of the brain. Examples of some of these activities include, memorizing lines in order to perform on stage, singing, dancing, story telling, and visual art. Children need to plant seeds, play with magnets, and investigate insects. Basically, children need to have experiences that will cause them to learn and remember the wonderful times they had at school. We do not have memorable moments at school anymore. Hopefully, that will change.

I recommend that teachers become more proactive about implementing art and music programs into our schools so our students (especially those from poverty and working class) will grow up with freedom and required expertise to choose careers based on the arts. My desire for the young teachers is that they will not be driven by tests for long, but will eventually be able to infuse the educational system with the arts to enrich our children‟s lives.

Originally, when I began this program my intention was to explore the visual arts in order to find at least one art medium that would touch my soul, and I would feel so passionate about it that I would continue to be involved in it daily. I am still exploring the visual arts to find my passion. This project did show me that I am capable of creating pictures. I can draw, and I have so much to learn. I have new ideas to bring into my class after testing is finished. I am extremely content with my experience and now know that anybody, including myself, can be artistic.

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APPENDIX A

Pictures of My Work

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PICTURES OF MY WORK

Figure 1. First Picture (Graphite). Figure 2. Coal scuttle (Graphite).

Figure 3. Drawing Class (Graphite). Figure 4. Portuguese Flat (Watercolor).

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Figure 5. Bed and Breakfast. Figure 6. Pears and Vase (Pastels).

Figure 7. Philodendron (Pastels). Figure 8. Bouquet (Pastels).

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Figure 9. Ceramic Vase.

Figure 10. Ceramic Swan.

Figure 11. Monochromatic Painting.

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APPENDIX B

Interview Questions

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Interview Questions

1. How did you become interested in art?

2. What were important steps in your development as an artist?

3. How would I increase my skills or eye as an artist?

4. What would you encourage me to avoid as I progress through my journey as an

artist?

5. Are there any books or movies that you recommend that I see that would help

me in my journey?

6. What is your advice for me as I search for my passion?

7. What have you noticed about my growth as a visual artist?

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