)AP\%=O=VW=PGNCT 2 - Cafe 08: Favorite foods... 4 - The Arab Spring and AGBU 5 Last Interview: Sean Burns 6 - Skorts: Like?Dislike? 6 23 51 %-$2)32012 - Horoscopes 8 VOLUME 1, # 1 OCTOBER 2012 - /=LQZ=J>=UAZF=N=PY 8 HPUM MANOVGYAN6DYMIRJYAN WAR+ARANI LRACROV:YAN TASARANI BARPYRA:YR: PUBLICATION OF AGBU MANOOGIAN-DEMIRDJIAN HIGH SCHOOL, JOURNALISM CLASS 6844 Oakdale Ave., Canoga Park, CA 91306. 818-883-2428. www.agbumds.org
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“Nor News” This year, with the help of their new advisor, Mrs. Rozalin Madoyan, Student Council “Nor News” will hold many fundraising events for clubs, while also hosting events for the middle and high school students. In these following months, Student Council plans to raise money for the AA NewNew StartStart Armenians in Syria by placing containers in each classroom so that students can donate money to the cause. They will also host a fundraiser to help build a school for autistic As the new school year begins, the Ar- Halici, Nazely Hartoonian, Sareen Is- children in Armenia. menian Journalism class is back together to hanyan, John Kayacan, Ani Kazandjian, Additionally this year, for the first time ever, Student Council will be hosting Interna- work on producing more successful news- Cathren Killedjian, Jacqueline Magtesyan, tional Night in April, for students as well as parents. This night will consist of international papers to be enjoyed by the AGBU fami- Nairi Nabi, Lilit Malumyan, Tina Sarafian, foods, dancing, and music. Formal is another great event organized by Student Council, lies. In the 2012-2013 Armenian Journalism Michael Sepian, Talin Thomas-Simonian, taking place in January! Soon, the Student Council is having their annual fundraising ef- class, we aim to report the events, trends, Sevag Zakarian, and Sevag Konialian. The fort, selling Halloween candy grams and hosting a Middle School Halloween dance, and issues of our school. articles written in this class will consist of which will be organized by: Mr. Sepetjian suggested that the title interviews, writing, photography, and vari- of the newspaper should be “New Wave.” ous subjects that the student body may like Student Council President: Aleen Pogharian After several days of contemplating, our to hear about. Vice President: Natalie Sumian class decided that our newspaper should be This year’s class is looking forward to Co- President: Michael Mashigian called “New News.” editing and publishing Armenian/English Treasurer: Megan Sahnazoglu The Armenian Journalism class meets newspapers, run by Mr. Sepetjian. It is Secretary: Natalie Kaladjian every day to discuss the topics that should going to be interesting learning how to edit, PR: Talia Agazaryan and Karla Marukoglu be included in the upcoming newspapers. publish, and improve our writing/reporting This class consists of the following high skills in the new school year. Student Council will be joining the Armenian Department to organize and help raise school students: Christina Ercomlek, Maria Pauline Boghoskhanian, 11th money for the Armenian Telethon in November. Hadjian, Pauline Boghoskhanian, Raffi Christina Ercomlek, 11th Lilit Malumyan, 10th 2 %-$2)3 DBAVOROV:IVNNYR HA#RYNIKEN
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Remove the stem and cut the pumpkin into quarters with a serrated knife. Scrape the seeds and pulp into a strainer; set aside. =M=@XQZEGZP Roast the pumpkin: Put the wedges on a baking sheet and cover tightly with *GOcAXbV_TK[AOdAWXbANTK] foil; bake until the flesh is tender, about 1 hour, 30 minutes. Remove the foil `OXbAZXb`KDCALZRZERKMKb] and let cool. %G]IGUKDCALOA`TK`cXWKZRZER Puree and strain: Scoop the pumpkin flesh into a food processor and `OXbCAbAIECKZ_AOAVB`KVQ?LXbAaXbANEbaATdAN puree until smooth. Transfer to a sieve set over a bowl to drain the excess liq- *GOTK[AO]XM?TAV`XbAN uid, about 1 hour. `OXbLXLKO?TAV`XbAN Toast the seeds: Meanwhile, reduce the oven temperature to 300 de- R VXbWPATETZAPA` grees F. Rinse the seeds under cold water and discard the stringy pulp; blot dry. %G]cXWKDCAL]EbcXWKZRZER Spread the seeds in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet and bake about 30 9A\X`DCAbAI[Xb` minutes, stirring occasionally (this helps dry them out). *GOcAXbV_MARXRKIA`T_E`Eb?_Ad[Xb`KTG[I`[XbANOATZAPANXU_E`Eb?LAbTH LXbAaXbANXbARHPAVXbAN Make the topping: ZSER]M_X` Transfer 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds to a bowl and add the almonds, sun- `OXbLETXVKPKbI flower seeds and syrup. Spread on 2 baking sheets lined with silicone mats or parchment paper and season with salt; bake until just golden, stirring several /=WX=VWQZEGZP times, about 20 minutes. Cool completely on the pan, and then toss with the #X`XbVOATAVKTG[TKA]KVMA\VELTK]HARHLXLKOKMKb]HZRZERKMKb]HOA`TK`cXWK dried cherries. ZRZERHB`KVQH]XMHLXLKOHEbPATETVE`HgbELaVEL[Xb`HH]_ZAPAV[dK[`X_TK[XbOTH ]_AVALXbPATA`g /A_`A]_XbANTK[XbOGVTGOIGUKDCALFE_EREL_E`EbKVW`[XbANOXRTHEbCLAVAQEb Make the batter: cAIIELgX`NANELBXLX`TK[XbOHg Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and pumpkin-pie spice in a #ARXRKAbELX`D_E`EbVE`H_A`ANELOAI]AUKVUA_AOHWA`dA\WA`d_ERAbX`EL bowl. Whisk the sugar and egg yolks in a separate bowl, then whisk in 1 1/2 cAIXUIVE`HEbDVEL]M_X`KZSERVE`WA`dE`XbTK[Ebg cups strained pumpkin puree, the yogurt and milk. Whisk in the melted butter. $AV`XbcXd`ZVAODVELcAIXUIVE`XbV^`AU[Xb`LEaVELAUVdAVTHX`NANOGOAI]AUKV Pour the pumpkin mixture into the flour mixture and stir with a rubber spatula OG]HAbELaVELLETXVKPKbIHARHEbBA`Q`O`AOK^`AUEcELTKVYEbE\AUO`AOHIEIEbaVELXb until just combined (it will be lumpy). Beat the egg whites with a mixer until PAVDA`_TKVYEbX`_E`EbVE`HcAcXbOVAVEbTK[XbOHEcKg stiff, then gently fold into the batter. %AcA`KYHCXaZAPELOG]JATX`ZG]FKNNGIAaAVHEcANLEFXbOA`ELKGDVELUA_AOHEb Cook the waffles: Preheat a waffle iron and grease it if it's not nonstick. Spoon AUDZG]EcELg in the batter and cook until golden brown. Keep warm in a 250 degree F oven -`[ELOAI]AVPKb`A]K`ELKdZVAOKV^`AUCEREaOe`GV_ERAbX`ELEb_Ad^KSAOKTG[ PKb`A]K`ELgA`KAMX`JAOg (directly on the rack) until serving. Serve with whipped cream, if desired, and sprinkle with the topping. /=WX=VWAY;)=O\DH1A[A=PX@ Michael Sepian,10th 5 EDITORIAL AGBU Issues Urgent The Arab Spring: Syria Appeal to Help the Armenian Community in Syria It’s been almost two years since the bloodshed, Bashar Assad should the rise of the Arab Spring. It began come to terms with the more liberal with Tunisia, then Egypt, followed and modern world and step down. by Libya and Yemen; and now, Still, the end to the uprising Syria. The call for democracy and may or may not satisfy the dreams of With the worsening political turmoil in Syria, AGBU has announced a major the end to dictatorship seemed to Syria’s citizens. With the country in fundraising campaign to help the Armenian community there, including Aleppo, echo through the minds of those in ruins, who is to take control? Does Damascus, Homs, Kamishli, and Latakia, as well as other cities with Armenian the Middle East. In March of 2011, the end to the civil war lead to the populations. Months of fighting and instability have left an otherwise it was Syria’s turn. With interference establishment of a new dictatorship lively and prosperous community facing the loss of homes and businesses, with some even suffering personal injuries; fatalities have also been from outsides forces, citizens began or will democracy be created? Is reported. Hundreds of Armenian families have been forced to relocate within to scream for democracy. Suddenly, democracy the right form of govern- Syria or to the neighboring countries and Armenia. Bashar Assad and the generations- ment for Syria? How can a country While already providing critical humanitarian assistance through its long Assad dictatorship was no that’s lived under dictatorships for District Committee of Syria and its local Chapters, AGBU now appeals to the longer adequate. Civilians began to so long easily adapt to freedom and greater Armenian diaspora to help confront this increasingly dire situation. protest and the government de- democracy? Given the urgent need for financial support, donations can be made ployed the Syrian Army to bring a The recent uproar caused by an immediately online, by telephone, or by mail as outlined below. halt to the uprising. Over the next Anti-Muslim film produced in South- "As AGBU has done numerous times during its more than 106-year history, we few months, the resistance led to the ern California has proven to be the are helping all Armenians within our once vibrant Syrian community in their formation of the Rebel Army which first test for the new democratic gov- time of greatest need," said AGBU Central Board of Directors member Vasken then led to more fighting and more ernment of Egypt. As angry citizens Yacoubian. "Armenians from all over the diaspora can help, knowing that all funds will go quickly and directly to support the relief efforts for civilian deaths. Civil wars are fre- of Egypt stormed the U.S. embassy, Armenian families in Syria, who, amid the destruction and economic distress quent in history; the fact is, as the Egyptian government was un- caused by the ongoing military activity, are depending on our assistance human beings, peaceful negotia- able to control their people. Yes, the right now for their livelihood." tions are usually not a choice. citizens experience more freedom As communications both within Syria and with the outside world continue to In my opinion, whether or not than they had during the Mubarak deteriorate, the Armenian community is relying on local efforts to address Bashar was a progressive and intel- dictatorship; however, the govern- basic needs. AGBU has already begun providing relief with food, medicine, ligent leader before the uprising ment cannot control the citizens ef- shelter, water and energy to thousands of Armenian families in various doesn’t matter; he is not and is not fectively. This has resulted in the cities, with local youth from our Chapters mobilizing as volunteers. Our chapters are collaborating with the Syrian Armenian Emergency Coordinating able to control his country and bring violent protests that have taken the Committee, which is comprised of members representing all local Armenian peace to his country. Instead, he has lives of U.S. ambassadors as well as organizations. Moreover, AGBU will also address tuition concerns of parents created a divide within Syria which Muslim protestors around the Mid- whose children attend Armenian schools in Syria when they reopen. has resulted in a war-torn country dle East. Donate online: http://agbu.org/syriarelief/index.html with almost no end in sight. As dic- In conclusion, democracy may Donate by phone Mon-Fri 9 am to 5 pm (EST): +1-855-AID-AGBU (243-2428) tatorships become obsolete and seem ideal for Syrian citizens, but is democracy becomes more favor- instilling such a form of government Please send checks to: AGBU able, civil wars are inevitable. In- realistic, or even possible? Syria Emergency Fund stead of continuing contributions to Sareen Ishanyan, 10th 55 East 59th Street New York, NY 10022 15$ 73+ + 15$ 73+ + /3-5)3-5+,+-3%5-:3 !!* %-$2)3 %-$2)3 )1-5+ ;)B>H)=)F8)6>HF,2JF-F>H=/F-F* )1-5+ 2;)G)=I5=>H=,07)<-F/=2;-FC2F-32 (,3 %*3 .+3 >HC>HG2? F=>D7)==/C>H;F>H-)=2 #/@)@ "J3 )9E)E3-)= )B)A2=-F-4)<2=!2L $+>CE>C2=-F*,@F>GD-F),)F8)=I ? )F>H1");@>HI:-)= 2=?@/C);/=;)F,;-F)3)B)A2= )7;):>H= F;/=?2I 7)FG>H;0-9)H1/2(=?/)=>H=0 ;*>H6>D4>F>D)5 )F>H1)6>*-)= @.E262=LH-F*=)72E0C2=)B)A2= /JF/6 )=+);;-F;2EI0-6)H!262= >@/F1 232=62F-)= )3@)=E-)=0?/(>F)=>F)=>H==)3 )F;) )1) 2;>=-)= =)72E/L) What was your experience Mrs. Bedrossian’s advice and like working at AGBU Mrs. Joukjian’s goofy proj- MDS? ects for me to do. I will miss My experience at AGBU walking around with Mrs. Manoogian Demirdjian Nalbandian and collecting the School has been unforget- four year planners. I will miss table. I came into the school teasing Mr. Khudoyan about For the past three years, AGBU slightly nervous because I how the Clippers will surpass MDS has banned skirts, but this year was unsure how I would ini- the Lakers this year. I will tially fit in. I can honestly say miss the science department our school has made a compromise with that I feel like family and part and the disgusting smells the students and brought us skorts. of the AGBU MDS commu- from the labs. I will miss the These skorts have received both love nity. So in summary, I have had an out- faces of the Armenian Department when I and hate from many people in the standing experience. would interrupt their classes for college up- school. Some girls say they prefer pants dates. English Department, Math Depart- rather than the skorts, saying that What was the highlight of working here? ment…I can go on forever. There are so they’re ugly and uncomfortable. Other The highlight of working here was probably many funny stories with students…How- girls think these skorts are really cute all of the fun cultural events, the outstand- ever I will not embarrass them. and would wear them even if they are ing VPA performances such as the dance uncomfortable. We also went around shows or dramas, and the field trips to every What have you learned from working possible destination in Southern California. here? asking the guys if they prefer skorts However, if I was to narrow it down, prob- I have learned to appreciate the people more than the pants. For the past three ably becoming more aware of my Armen- around me and enjoy every moment and years, AGBU MDS has taken away the privilege of skirts for the female student ian heritage. Visiting the churches, learning opportunity that I have been given. I know body. Since the compromise granting us the option of wearing skorts, the re- about the holidays, speaking with the teach- almost every student in this school and sponses to the skorts have been very mixed, even among the males. While the ers, and all of the experiences associated hope that they will learn to appreciate both girls agree that the skorts are very cute, most feel they are extremely uncom- with the school has not only taught me the positive and negative aspects of life. fortable. One junior girl says, “The skorts are really cute, but I wish they were more about my ancestors, but has made me a different fabric, because they ride up a lot when you sit down.” Still, a ma- truly excited to be considered an Armenian. What do you plan on doing once you leave jority said that even if they are uncomfortable, they will continue wearing them. AGBU We also questioned the guys about whether they preferred the pants or the What will you miss most once you leave? I have been training intensely for my up- I will miss all of the students here at school coming audition for “So you think you can skorts. While some thought the skorts were really awkward looking, others and my friendly colleagues. I will miss the dance”. Wish me luck….Ok so I plan on thought they looked better than the pants. daily Hyer Mer, the Hyoon Oohkta, and Mr. teaching for the next few years. I would like Though there are mixed messages about the skorts, most agree that they Sepetjian’s passion for the Armenian cul- to eventually work in some capacity at the prefer these to the pants, and 99.9% say they wish they were more comfortable. ture and his motivational speeches. I will administrative level. While I am not sure of miss Mr. Delano and Raffi’s office where all of my future goals, I plan on staying in Sareen Ishanyan, 10th we would plan to take over the world. I will Education and serving various age groups. Cathren Kiledjian, 10th miss announcements with Mr. Harzmann I would like to continue to be a part of the and Sebastian. I will miss Mr. Baboomi AGBU family and will remain a member of walking around Washington DC singing the community till I am old and senile. Darth Vader music. I will miss the exciting times in the teacher’s lounge and all of the Talin Thomas-Simonian, 11th The “New” Digin secret things that happen there. I will miss Nairi Nabi, 11th This past summer, Digin Yaralian under- The New Teacher went an amazing transformation and chose to change her appearance. She lost 35 pounds, and all of her students noticed. We Interview with wanted to interview her about her transfor- mation… Mrs. Teni Markaryan Digin, how did you lose all the weight? Baron Gumruyan, told me about the Medi- fast diet, so I decided to give it a try. For the Medifast diet you have to eat their food 5 Every year the students always wonder times a day and your dinner could be of about who the new teacher is and what he your own choice. I also counted my calories or she is like. so that I would be aware of how many calo- Well, we know you all have wondered who ries I was taking in. Mrs. Markaryan is and what her personal- ity is like. When we caught up with her, we What’s your new favorite healthy food? polite and didn’t really comment on it, but asked her a few questions about herself and My favorite healthy food is now a salad once more and more people started com- the big question: why did she choose AGBU with a lot of arugula. menting on it, they became less shy and MDS… started asking me questions. Everyone was What is your favorite part about losing all What school did you graduate from? extremely happy for me. What’s funny is that weight? I have graduated from California State Uni- that last year’s seniors heard about my I love wearing bright colorful clothes, un- versity, Northridge. I have earned my Eng- weight loss and came to see if people were like before when I would only wear black. lish BA, CA Clear Credentials, and my telling the truth. I’m now very confident about my new Masters in Humanities. body, and I love wearing reds, greens, and What happened to your old clothes? Before you decided to come to this school, oranges. I donated a majority of it, and kept a couple where did you work? of my favorites just in case! If you could eat anything, without gaining I have worked at North Hollywood High cause it has all kinds of benefits; there is a any weight, what would you eat? School, Ivy Academia, and Entrepreneurial lot of technology for students and teachers, Does it help with your teaching? If I could eat anything it would be a lot of Charter. and this school is also clean and has smaller Yes, I feel more energized and don’t get Armenian bread slathered in any type of classroom sizes. drowsy as quickly as I used to. Why did you choose to work at AGBU? bread in the world. I also would eat choco- If you have any other questions just ask I wanted to give back to my community. What hobbies do you enjoy after work? late and boncheegs (fried dough with cus- Baron Gumuryan! Also, I lost hope in the public school sys- I like to bake desserts, and I love going to tard). tem; there would be constant layoffs, and concerts. Sareen Ishanyan, 10th Lilit Malumyan, 10th lack of focus from the students because of What were your student’s reactions? Cathren Kiledjian, 10th the big classroom sizes. I chose AGBU be- Nazely Hartoonian, 10th In the beginning, my students wanted to be 7 Worldwide The Armenian Winners Olympic Teams Of The London Olympics During the 30th summer games held in London, Armenia had 25 athletes competing in the games. Out of those 25 athletes, three won medals, one bronze and one silver in wrestling, and one bronze in weightlifting. Arsen Jufalakyan, born May 8, 1987, in Gyumri Armenia, competed and won gold in the 2009 Euro Wrestling Championship held in Vilnius, Lithuania. Julfalakyan also won a silver medal in Tom Daley the 2010 World wrestling Championship masyan. She plans on returning to the Ar- menian weightlifting team in Spring of 2014 to bring Armenia more medals and victory. Artur Aleksanyan, born October 21, 1991, in Gyumri, Armenia, competed and won a gold medal in the 2012 Euro Wrestling Championship held in Belgrade, Serbia. Two years earlier, Artur won gold in the Junior World Wrestling Champi- onship held in Budapest, Hungary. During Ryan Lochte Usain Bolt This summer, we experienced the by receiving a bronze medal. held in Moscow. This Olympics, Arsen phenomenon of the Olympics. For some it Last but not least, Ryan Lochte. He took part in the Men’s 74kg Greco- was an experience of a lifetime. The great blew away Phelps’ world record in winning Roman wrestling, where he won a bronze thing about the Olympics is that we get to the 400-meter individual medley, the first medal for his efforts. With that victory, join forces and become one big family of and possibly most grueling swimming he brought Armenia the first medal of the different nationalities every four years. event of the Olympics. 30th Olympiad. This year, just a few world records Lochte says he called his victory, as Hripsime Khurshutyan, born on were broken with one man breaking his he reminded everyone after the race. July 27, 1987, in Kasakh, Armenia, com- own record. Double Olympic sprint cham- "I've said this before: This is my peted in the Women’s 75kg weightlifting pion, Usain Bolt, took Jamaica to victory in year," he said after winning in 4 minutes division. She snatched 128kg and jerked a blistering men’s 4x100 meters final as and 5.18 seconds. "I know. I feel it. I've an additional 166kg for a total weight these Olympics, Aleksanyan competed in they retained their title in a world record at trained my butt off for four years...I feel it lifted of 294kg. Hripsime brought home the 96kg Greco Roman Wrestling category. 36.84 seconds. Another man to talk about in my gut. This is my year, and there is no a bronze medal for Armenia placing third He defeated Turkey’s favorite to win the is the new teen heartthrob, Tom Daley. At better way to start these Olympics." after the Chinese and Russian competi- competition, claiming bronze in his first fourteen, he surprised the world at the Bei- The Olympics always bring surprises tors. After these Olympics, she decided Olympic tournament. jing Olympics four years ago, with his great and enjoyment to everyone watching. talent at such a young age. This summer, at to take one year off so that she could get married to her fiancée, Daron Tov- Raffi Halici, 10th eighteen, he surprised the world once more Ani Kazandjian, 10th Michael Sepian, 10th 8 Visual P forming Arts HOROSCOPES During a recent interview with the brilliant visionary, Ms. Anne-Marie, the DHS stu- dents get a sneak-peak at what the Visual Performing Arts department is doing this LIBRA year. Let’s take a look, shall we… SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22 Your Halloween may not end up going according to plan. Your costume, which is really What plans do you have for this year? just yourself in normal clothes, actually scares everyone, including your Mom- so not what Well, to team up with dance and drama. The you expected. Instead of getting candy, you’ll be pelted with cat litter dust and expired month of March belongs to the VPA. This year’s sour gummy bear vitamins. To top it all off, your phone will be stolen, so you can’t even show will begin with drama, dance, and art with post a totally “unedited” picstitch of yourself on Instagram. One of the worst nights of a little bit of music in the quad to brighten the your life, and you cant even document it on the cyber web. mood. This show is the climax for all creative thinkers in AGBU. SCORPIO OCTOBER 23- NOVEMBER 22 What’s the theme of this year’s art show? Your aura gives off positive vibes this month. You will finally leave your house without The theme is generally the same as dance. The that Halloween mask on and will face the world with your two eyebrows, instead of one. title we chose is, “From Inside Out.” Artwork On Halloween, your cute neighbor will come to your door and ask you for candy, which will turn into a 15 minute conversation that ends up in exchanging phone numbers. This is should reflect a person’s personality; individual your happiest Halloween yet, including the time that your Persian neighbor gave you an personalities shining from different mediums. It’s unlimited supply of ghormesabze. going to be remarkable this year. SAGITTARIUS Any major goals for this year? NOVEMBER 23- DECEMBER 21 Yes, of course! I expect to see persistent work… OH LORD, this month doesn’t look good. First, you’ll miss the sale on fried chicken and analytical work that reflects the student’s personality. Critical thinking should also collared greens at your local Smart and Final. Then you’ll miss your bus to school and be included while sketching or painting. Older classes are working on graphic design. will have to walk the entire journey- through mud, rain, and snow. You’ll totally break out I like what I’m see- into a plethora of zits, boils, and blackheads. No amount of Proactive can clear that mess ing…many different up! Also Albertsons will not be fresh and exciting... personalities sketched on a paper. AQUARIUS JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 19 Oh my! Sounds pretty The next four weeks will be spiffy! Your crush will ask you to the Mother’s Day Ball- amazing! Thank you where refreshments and watercress sandwiches will be served. You’ll wear your new Ms. Anne-Marie for brown shoes with the llamas on them, and it shall be a marvelous day! The gods also pre- that wonderful in- dict that Target will name you their most beloved customer- EVER! For this, you will re- sight on what the VPA ceive your own shrine located in each and every single Target- including the one in is planning this year! Antarctica- hurray for icicles and frost bite! All DHS students, PISCES make sure to keep in FEBRUARY 20- MARCH 20 mind that the VPA will be having their performance in March, so look forward to it! Beware of corn this month. Don’t go to the movies or attend any barbecues where corn of any type may be available. Corn perfume is not permitted- sorry. If you do happen to en- Nazely Hartoonian, 10th counter this mustard- colored cylinder, you must bathe in asparagus juice and pray to your toaster. After this you must leave town as fast as you can and run in the direction of the nearest garbage bin. /%-5#0 ARIES MARCH 21- APRIL 20 /=LQZ=J>=UD?GXC We predict that this month a lost sibling will try and find you through Myspace. Fear not, he or she will bring a positive influence to your life and possibly, chi kofte. Unfortunately for you, you might be experiencing an upset stomach. The stars see Pepto Bismol in your future. TAURUS APRIL 21- MAY 20 October is not your month, since you will find a moth that has been living in your shower for the past two weeks; you will also see that it has laid eggs. You will also be spending your Halloween cleaning up the eggs that have been thrown at your new, grey 2013 Mus- tang. Stay away from any type of poultry, especially eggs... brown eggs. GEMINI MAY 21- JUNE 21 The stars are lining up for you this month. You’ll find a twenty dollar bill while doing your laundry. Your crush will like seven of your Instagram pictures, including the one of you and your weird Aunt Milldred from Fresno. Your parents just bought Nutella in bulk from Costco- hurray for midnight binges! CANCER JUNE 22- JULY 22 This month, the stars are not in your favor. Yes, TSwizzle’s album is coming out, but un- fortunately for you, you can’t relate to any of the love songs. Your nights will be spent eating twinkies and ice cream, while watching reruns of bad 90s soaps. Google won’t even have a cure for your problems. Your best bet is skipping town. LEO JULY 23- AUGUST 23 Oh! This month is definitely your month. You will eat Chipotle a whopping 21 times this month, and gain no weight! Your math teacher is also going to postpone that big test that, instead of studying for, you stalked your new crush. You might even find a couple of Ben- jamins in your winter coat that you will use to buy a new dog, who will end up taking res- 2 55', 6.7 !7,174.751!7$ idence in your favorite pair of shoes. 5% 4.7 !7, (7,! 5$!7 5'% VIRGO AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 22 /&.35!7,9,&4,",%45,3# The stars are in your favor, but sadly you will take an arrow to the knee. But when you are rushed to the hospital, your nurse will have a great personality. You get to stay home from 5!7,5%,#!(),4.7, ,%& school and eat all the khormazebsi you want . Your breath will smell like the cacti species, Aztekium, but don't be alarmed; Rite Aid is having a sale on Listerine! It’s a 2 for 1 spe- 54( "54,%542&*,)!"%,%" cial! But, there is some bad news this month; Chipotle has run out of guacamole, which is your favorite topping on your Barbacoa Burrito. Better luck next month! 5.72445),%,#4,&.%:2(4.4 CAPRICORN- DECEMBER 22- JANUARY 19 "!9,'+,5!24(0,'+$*/ This month you will fall off of your bike. That is all. THAT’S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES. $"g Cathren Killedjian, 10th /=WX=VWAY; +139+X@ Sareen Ishanyan, 10th