The first night of Tevet is Wednesday, December 16th 2020 TEVET Activating Our Power

Spiritual Energy of Tevet Discovering Our Dark Corners Tevet is the coldest, darkest part of the year, and this month’s spiritual energetics reflect that. When we’re cooped up inside, with the sun setting so early, we are likely to discover the dark corners of our inner worlds, too.

Last month, Kislev asked us to reach into our hearts and connect with our dreams. Tevet asks us to touch something a little more fiery: our anger. If you feel like you’re raging during Tevet, that’s to be expected. It’s all part of the yearly cycle.

Becoming an Agent of Change According to the teachings of the Kabbalah every month falls into the category of Jacob (good inclination) or Esau (evil inclination). Jacob and Esau are the twin sons of Isaac and Rebecca. Endless teachings on humanity come from their story.

Tevet is one of the three Hebrew months belonging to Esau. It is one of our most challenging months, individually and collectively. During this month, we remember both sieges of ancient Jerusalem — two extraordinary losses — and we begin reading Exodus, the harrowing account of our ancestors’ descent into slavery. To more fully embody our remembrance of these accounts, we fast. (Traditionally, the tenth of Tevet is observed by fasting from dawn to nightfall.)

However, instead of being overwhelmed with anger over these atrocities, Jews are invited to learn from our history and grow. We didn’t survive 3,000+ years by being angry. We survived because we felt that heat rise in our blood, heard the call, and channeled that energy toward positive action. When we treat anger like this, we become agents of change.

The Oil, Not the Flame Take Hanukkah — it’s all about the oil, not the flame. The wisdom of this holiday arises from our renewed determination to carry on in the wake of destruction. This holiday doesn’t just mark the negative act itself. So, use Tevet. Dive into your dark emotions. Bring them up into the light and examine them carefully, with patience and compassion.

Of course, this detached relationship to anger is so much easier to talk about than practice. Thankfully, this month’s intensity isn’t something we must face alone. In struggle, Jews don’t remove themselves from community; instead, we engage in our personal work in and with community. Your Well Circle is one such community — a safe space to be vulnerable, and an ideal place to question.

Although dark and difficult, Tevet is your opportunity to grow. Everything you discover and release this month will help you make space for expansiveness later this year. (The spring brings Passover, a holiday of expansiveness. Plant your seeds now; it’s not too late. In time, they’ll blossom. Remember, our Hebrew calendar is cyclical, like the seasons.)

Hearing Your Own Wisdom In the spirit of Tevet, sit with your girls and ask each other these questions… ● What makes you angry? ● How do you react to your anger? ● How do you engage your anger? ● If anger is the same as “bowing to idols,” what idols are you bowing to when you become angry? ● Who do you become when you’re angry? ● How do you know when you’re angry? ● Think of something small that triggers you. Do you think others are triggered by the same thing? Why does this thing trigger you? ● What big things in the world do you feel angry about? What can you do to help? ● How do you sit with your anger? ● How do you purify your anger? ● Do you even want to let go of your anger? If not, why?

An Invitation To Create: Draw Your Feelings Supplies: ● Canvases or loose paper for everyone in your Well Circle (or, ask your girls to bring their notebooks) ● Markers, crayons, colored pencils, or paints ● Brushes (if using paint)

Activity: Draw Your Feelings On whatever surface you’ve chosen, have women draw their anger.

Before everyone begins, have the group close their eyes. Take a moment in silence together to go deep into different experiences that shake anger loose. Ask the women to visualize the colors, images, and textures that define anger for them. Maybe put on a pre-made mix of songs that evoke the different facets of anger— explosive, seething, icy, calculated, vengeful, righteous, fiery. (Over here at At The Well, we’re partial to Fiona Apple, Philip Glass, Solange Knowles, and some well chosen Björk when we’re really feeling the rage.)

Have everyone draw for 15- 20 minutes. When time is up, ask women to pair up and share their pieces — what their intentions were, what surprised them, what came up for them before and as they drew. Give the first partner five minutes to talk, then call a switch. If you have time, have everyone put their pieces around the room for a gallery “walk through.” Or, reconvene as a full Circle to continue the sharing and conversation about visual expressions of anger.

A Ritual for Tevet: The Festival of the Daughters For centuries, women and girls in North Africa’s Jewish communities have celebrated a special festival on the New Moon of Tevet, the 7th night of Hanukkah. (Or, some years, on the 6th night. Our lunar calendar is beautiful and intricate!)

The Festival of the Daughters (called Eid Al Bnat in Judeo-Arabic, or Chag HaBanot in Hebrew) is a time when generations of women gather. The evening often involves dancing, eating, sharing gifts, and praying for the health of all of the daughters. It’s the ultimate night to join together in womanhood.

To honor this tradition, here are three possible rituals for your Well Circle to celebrate! (Rituals are drawn from Rabbi Jill Hammer, Ritualwell.org.)

Feminist Menorah Lighting On the 7th night of Hanukkah, light each candle of the menorah for a different righteous, audacious woman. Make sure to share their names as you do. ● The first candle in honor of Judith and all Jewish female heroes ● The second candle in honor of women who are our personal heroes ● The third candle in honor of female teachers and spiritual leaders, including our relatives and friends ● The fourth candle in honor of our mothers and grandmothers ● The fifth candle in honor of all girls in the Jewish community ● The sixth candle in honor of our families (either especially for daughters or for relatives of all genders) ● The seventh candle in honor of the Shechinah, an earthy, feminine aspect of the Divine

Gifts for Each Other and the World Organize a gift swap with your Well Circle. When picking a gift, look for something that honors the recipient and her power. Make sure to set a price limit so all gifts are relatively equal.

Optional bonus giving: pick an organization and decide to give tzedakah as a group!

Blessings Divide into chevruta (partners) for some deep listening. Set aside 10 – 20 minutes for this activity, and give each partner equal time to speak.

1. Tell your chevruta what you hope to “rededicate to” in the next month and what you are struggling with. When it’s your turn to listen, hold back from commenting on your chevruta’s stories or offering advice. Instead, just listen. 2. When you each have shared, return to the larger circle. In front of this loving collective, each woman can voice a blessing for her chevruta. Speak from the heart, or use the prayer below as a model: May the One who blessed Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah, bless and heal [insert name] and grant her vitality and courage in the month ahead.

May she be strengthened as the heroes of Hanukkah were strengthened. May she be granted the boldness of Judah and the wisdom and bravery of Judith. May all the works of her hands be blessed, and may she feel the world’s kindness, peace, justice, and compassion. Amen.

Monthly Meditation: Breathing in Tevet By Sabrina Sojourner Sabrina Sojourner is a Sh’liakhTzibur, writer, and facilitator of important conversations; long-time activist, independent scholar, commentator on life and resilience, and meditation leader. Boldly leading, teaching, and sharing with vulnerability.

is the fourth month of (ֵטֵבת) Tevet is the perfect month to explore anger, according to the Sefer Yetzirah. Tevet the civil calendar and the tenth month of the ecclesiastical calendar of the Jewish year. The first of Tevet arrives on the Sixth or Seventh day of Hanukkah, the only holiday to cover two Jewish months, and begins the Jewish season of Winter. In The Jewish Book of Days, Rabbi Jill Hammer tells us the primary element for Tevet is Fire within Water. Consider that for a moment. How fanciful to imagine fiery passions alive in watery bodies, like ours!

Tevet is also a mood. It amplifies our relationship to ourselves and the world. This year, 5781, many of us enter winter with sadness, discontent, distrust, and weariness. What we imagined would be a short inconvenience has become the way some of us will live for the foreseeable future. Without intervention or reflection, this winter could deepen hatreds, mistrusts, dismay, and heighten anxiety. Winter is an invitation to slow down and wait. It offers simple gifts that are magically available because our resistance is low. Waiting is an opportunity for reflection, stillness, and mind wonderings. We seek comfort and to comfort, sipping warmth, eating cozy, digesting the past month, the past year, our past lives.

A stray thought enters us from long ago, or an hour ago, connecting to a buried ache. Without warning we are doubled over in tears. Waves of sobs shatter stillness as emotions and thoughts move through us faster than we can identify them. We may try to make it stop. Whimpers may rise into a scream that will not be denied. Aloud! With or without music! Into pillows, pounding the bed or sofa! This scream will not let us go until we let it all out! We are forced to roll and surf with sobbing, screaming, expressive waves until we land at our new shore emptied. Cleansed. Something yet to be named has changed. We move from resistance to acceptance, from unseeing to mind wide open, from frustration to clarity, from sadness to the uneven path of resilience.

Anger is in our DNA, an internal alarm to a perceived threat. Most of us fear it in ourselves and in others because it is most often used as a wrecking ball to demolish individuals, relationships, families, communities, nations, and almost our world. It divides and penalizes without regard to the facts. It fuels bias and inflames bigotry, preventing us from experiencing another’s humanity. Worse, it can cause us to do all these things to ourselves and to those closest to us.

Yet, anger has many aspects, and I want to focus on three: anger as a cover/protector, anger as rage against injustice, and anger as managing ourselves or others. If we are willing to get to know it, anger is a tool that can be shaped to unlock important conversations.

I invite you to open your journal or grab a few pieces of paper as you consider the descriptions and questions in the next few paragraphs.

Activity: Anger Meditation Whether alone or in chavruta, I invite you to take three slow deep breaths. On the last exhale, release whatever noise wants to escape. As your breathing relaxes, I invite you to consider the most recent moment in which you found yourself angry.

Once there, emotionally walk through everything that led to the moment you found yourself angry. Go back several minutes before and run what happened. If you perceive something was already irritating you, go back in your mind until you find the last moment in which you were calm. Without judgement or assessment, note other feelings that arise. Once you discern what led to the anger, make note of whom you were preceding to whom you were after.

Draw or note the emotional path, how your moods travel and the physicality within your body. Use as many or as few colors as you like. Give yourselves 10-15 minutes, then share. Rewrite the script: Take a few deep breaths. When you are ready, return to that moment, and feel the anger rising within you. Can you allow yourself to experience the anger, without trying to cover or protect? Remind yourself that you are safe and allow it to move through you. If you are connected to the person, call that to be present. How does that shape your anger? Is there someone in your past that you connect with them? If the person was a stranger, they, too, are a child of the Divine One. Breathe this acknowledgement into you. Once you’ve found your calm, respond to the situation from there. Write what you would have liked to have said and consider how it might have changed the conversation. Try several different approaches if the situation allows. Share with your chavruta.

Reflection & Discussion: Anger as response to injustice. Some may believe that rage and anger are distinctions without a difference. Psychology defines rage as anger that is out of control or an outsized response to an event or episode. For oppressed communities, rage is the response to the unanswered repeated requests for attention to inequalities such as water we cannot drink (many cities, rural areas, and most reservations), medical indifference to our bodies (Tuskegee, Henrietta Lax, COVID), summarily assumptions of guilt by authorities, and the automatic suspension of our presence (life), to name a few. Rage is also an appropriate response to anti-Semitism and other disparaging acts toward another— Holocaust denial, factional and national genocide, misogyny, toxic masculinity, and so much more. So, what do we do with it?

We befriend it so that when it appropriately appears, we allow it to cool enough for us to respond. Most often, the person speaking bias is actually saying something about who they are and what they believe, and NOTHING about us. From my experience, we can begin to move from attacking rage to stripping rage and ourselves down to name and cuddle the things that scare us, including death. I encourage you to do this exercise with one or more persons you trust.

Managing ourselves or others. Consider this an opportunity to reflect on your family history of anger. This is less about objective truth, and more about what you absorbed about anger at any point of your life, and its related feelings such as guilt, frustration, and irritation. These questions are prompts. Follow where you want to go. Avoid what you want to avoid until you are ready.

How did each of our parents or guardians express anger? How was anger handled among siblings? What forms of anger did we witness or experience from other members of our family and family friends? How was anger discussed in your family, if at all?

Explore all the social places: spiritual institutions, schools, influences like books, movies, specific incidents/experiences in your life. The invitation is to be your own emotional archeologist and to find your way to the child within. Invite them to sit with you as you unearth this history.

All of the above is an invitation. There is no have to or must. After all, it’s Tevet!

Celebration of the Daughters On the Seventh Day of Hanukah, the first or second day of Tevet, we celebrate our daughters with Chag HaBanot—The Daughter Holiday! Its origins are in the North African Jewish communities in honor of Y’hudit/Judith and/or the two Khanahs/Hannahs. (The Book of Judith is a non-canonized Jewish story. It appears in the Catholic Bible along with the Book of Maccabees. The Khanahs are stories of the midrashim, less widely available. A deep dive can uncover them.)

Y’hudit was a widow who used her charms to kill an Assyrian general, saving Israel. One Khanah was the mother of seven sons who martyred themselves as their mother watched by refusing to give honor to a non-Jewish monarch. The other Khanah was the daughter of the Khasmonean/Hasmonean Priest Y’hudah, whose marriage caused the Maccabees to rise up against the Seleucid Empire. At the wedding feast, she is said to have jumped on a table and stripped herself bare. When her brothers drew their swords to kill her, the story says she mocked them for their willingness to raise their swords against her and not again Seleucids.

These three women also demonstrate how to use the assumptions others make about us to our advantage and the audacity of women. So, if you’re hesitating to take on anger, start with celebrating your daughter and celebrate being a daughter. Anger loves a good dance party! Rosh Chodesh Tov.

Finding Light in Grief, Anger, and Cycles By Talia Kovacs Talia is a family literacy expert working to create a child-centered movement toward calm, connected families. When not spending time with books and children, you can find her drumming, playing piano, and going for long, meandering walks in Prospect Park. To get in touch, visit TaliaKovacs.com or learn some at-home reading tips on her Instagram @talia_kovacs_consulting.

The month of Tevet, the month with the shortest days, the “angry month” teaches us about the use of anger, the faith that’s present in grieving and continuing to live, and the cleansing power of honoring cycles of grief, anger, and loss of faith through water.

I resonate deeply with the themes of Tevet: sitting in our anger, letting the darkness wash over us, and giving grief a platform to be properly felt and noticed. I can list my recent reasons for being angry and grieving- my mom and mother-in-law died within two years of each other, and I miss them every day. I have an autoimmune condition that I am constantly battling. I want so badly to start a family with my husband, but I’ve had two miscarriages (though maybe by the time you’re reading this, I’ll be pregnant again). My hardships are worse than what some people go through, and worlds better than what many others have experienced. It doesn’t matter, because these grief-causing moments are mine alone to hold and cultivate and learn from.

According to Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. of Psychology Today, anger serves as “a self-confirming protest against what offends your moral standards, what feels inequitable or reprehensible to you.” Anger is a warning sign that a boundary has been breached. Though holding onto anger for too long can have negative effects, it’s very important to give space to these feelings.

Most days, I have a happy, well-balanced life. Some days, however, feel like Tevet- where if I don’t connect with my grief and anger, they’ll explode out of me. During my Tevet moods, I have cultivated a mindfulness practice, written in my journal, moved with my body, relaxed in front of the TV, and leaned on friends. These supports for my grief and anger come from listening to the dark parts of myself, which is what Tevet asks of all of us.

Through faith—symbolized in the Torah as water—and through our own internal watery cycles, we can slowly come back to ourselves and live a rich life as we’ve imagined. May we all learn from our foremothers during this dark month, and during our dark times.

Connecting with Women of the Exodus Story: Yocheved, Miriam, Shifra, Puah, and Batya, all had reason to be angry, reason to grieve; yet still, through water, they chose to affirm their faith.

Yocheved Yocheved used water as a symbol of her bravery. After placing Moses in the basket on the Nile, giving up her son to the halls of Pharaoh instead of having him near her to raise, she must have grieved deeply. She, like many mothers separated from their children, might have felt a limb was missing, woke up thinking about her son and went to sleep with his image on her eyelids. And yet, Yocheved continued on day after day, raising her two other children, and continuing to come back to the water.

Miriam Miriam’s is often referred to as the Jewish people’s source of sustenance throughout their journey in the desert. Miriam’s two brothers were considered holy leaders, while she wasn’t privy to the meetings the men held. Meanwhile, she was the one who led the Israelites into prayer after crossing the Nile with her timbrels and dancing. Miriam had many reasons to be angry. Nevertheless, Miriam provided the Israelites with life-affirming water, an act of faith, showing them they would continue to be nourished while her brother carried down the 10 commandments. Miriam could have let her anger consume her, and maybe, when she wasn’t dancing or providing hydration to an entire people, she might have cried or yelled or screamed. But she held her head up and ledher community through the desert with water and faith.

Shifrah and Puah Shifrah and Puah, midwives who stood up to Pharoah, had more to be angry about than we can understand. They regularly presided over the forced murder of small, innocent baby boys. For some, the grief of seeing babies murdered would have been debilitating. The fear of lying to Pharaoh and the personal repercussions, for many people, would have been too much to overcome. But Shifrah and Puah kept showing up for the messy, wet business of birth and used their standing to save lives where they could. They allowed the bloody waters to wash over their hands, up to their elbows, and continued to advocate for Israelite babies against the kingdom.

Batya Batya, though not an Israelite, used her faith to overcome her anger and grief. We don’t know exactly why Batya came to bathe in the Nile river. All we know is that Batya, childless, came to the waters. Was she mourning yet another miscarriage that cycle? Was she angry with her God for not allowing her to conceive? The Bible, a traditionally male document, leaves out these details. What we do know is that when she saw the young baby floating in the water, she was eager to take him home with her, against her father's wishes.

Faith Through Water How do we submerge in water when it’s freezing outside? How do we cloak ourselves in faith when there’s so much darkness, anger, and grief in the world? We find the small pockets that warm our souls. Healing practices, like warm water on a cold day, can warm us when we’re depleted, angry, sad. Drawing a bath, drinking hot tea, rinsing your hands with hot water to warm your fingers all give us a glimpse of the healing power of water when we don’t want to submerge outside. Taking water in these small ways reminds us that soon, it will be warm and we can submerge our whole bodies in the river again.

In the same way, small acts of faith can remind us that soon, there will be light. By calling loved ones, taking care of yourself, letting yourself cry on the couch, waking up and getting dressed the next day, or writing daily in a journal even when it feels hard, you remind yourself that grief is worth experiencing and seeing through. Use small acts of faith until bigger ones make themselves clear again. Soon, there will be something to rejoice over and we’ll grab our timbrels and sing to the heavens.

Activity If virtual: Pour yourself your most favorite cup of tea. Have it ready, warm, prepare it with honey, lemon, and ​ take some time to drink it. Let your hands feel the warmth of the cup. Take a deep breath in and inhale the scent. Slowly, begin to sip and feel the tea warming your chest.

If in person in a pod: Pour each other a hot cup of tea (Passover-style, where each person pours for someone ​ else). Each person receiving tea should describe exactly how they like it- some honey, a little cream, half a lemon. We can use this as an exercise in describing our ideal situations, listening in to someone’s preferences deeply.

Over tea, in pairs/breakout groups, describe something that you’ve grieved over in the past few years. What has helped you feel better? What do you still need?

Discussion In Your Circle, Discuss: ● Do you resonate with any of the women in the Exodus story? ● What are some small acts of faith that have helped you get through these hard times? ● What might you need to give yourself so you can hold out until the sun comes out again? ● How can you take care of someone else going through grief and anger?

Closing Thoughts “My mother’s advice was, don’t lose time on useless emotions like anger, resentment, remorse, envy. Those, she said, will just sap time; they don’t get you where you want to be. One way I coped with times I was angry: I would sit down and practice the piano. I wasn’t very good at it, but it did distract me from whatever useless emotion I was feeling at the moment. Later, I did the same with the cello. I would be absorbed in the music, and the useless emotion faded away.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Ruth played the piano when her mother died at 17, a few days before her high school graduation. May we, too, learn what fills us up and practice, practice, practice.

Exploring Emotions in Tevet: Anger By Revital Iyov Revital is a storyteller. She recently graduated from the Documentary Practice and Visual Journalism program at the International Center of Photography in New York. She has diverse experience as a journalist for IDF radio station and as the co-founder of Israel.co.il. Her full bio can be found at revitaliyov.com

“One who becomes angry is as though that person had worshipped idols.” — MOSES MAIMONIDES “Take a fit of anger. Anger is a serious crime.” — RABBI MENACHEM MENDEL

Numerous texts in our tradition warn us of the danger of anger. Maimonides refers to anger as idolatry, the Rebbe said that getting angry means you have no faith. As women, anger is an emotion that we are often told to not feel, that makes others uncomfortable. During our high holiday prayers, we often apologize for our anger. But what if anger could be a feeling we celebrate? Uncontrolled anger can lead to pain and division, but anger also has transformative qualities. Anger is the feeling that makes us leave our comfort zone and stand up—for ourselves, our values, and our powerless neighbors. Calm people don’t lead revolutions. Trust that your feelings are valid, even the seemingly unpleasant ones like anger. Sharing our feelings of anger in a community can allow us to heal, both as individuals and within the greater collective.

“We contain the other, hopelessly and forever...” — JAMES BALDWIN Within me, anger sparks from response to painful situations. This year has been a challenging one. I felt mistreated by people, things, and even the communities to which I belong. I tried to suppress this feeling. But in my experience, unprocessed anger transforms into suffering. I am most comfortable when I am being lovely, kind, and sweet. That is when I feel the most loved. It’s uncomfortable to be the angry or hurt friend. I am in a continuous practice of learning to sit with my own pain. Whenever I meet a friend who can meet my unprocessed anger with wisdom and compassion, my heart sings.

In the next activity, I invite you to practice showing up for yourself and others with an open heart.

Activity Think about one thing that makes you most angry at this given moment. Now, what if you could share your feelings and thoughts with the person/organization/entity that is at the root of it, knowing that they will listen with compassion.What would you say? Take a few minutes and write it down. You will be asked to share what you wrote with the circle afterward, no context needed. Please share what you wrote with the circle.

(For those meeting in person) Walk around the room and when you find a spot in which you feel comfortable, start searching for a movement that provides you comfort or calmness. When you find a movement that works for you, repeat it several times. Now, in turn, each participant will share their movement with the circle.

(For those meeting online) Think of a melody or song that helps you feel centered, calm, and provides you with comfort. It may be a lullaby you listened to as a kid, a prayer, or a Beyonce song—you do you, no judgment! Now, each participant will sing a few lines from that song. Or you can recite the lines that resonate with you the most if that’s more comfortable.

Biblical Babes: Yocheved, Miriam, Shifrah, Puah, and Batya In the Hebrew month of Tevet, we finish reading Genesis and begin Exodus, the second book of our teachings. This book contains one of the most important stories of the Jewish people: the Israelites’ migration, rise to leadership, peaceful co-existence, and eventual enslavement in Egypt.

In Exodus, we meet the man who will lead the Israelites out of slavery and into the desert: Moses. While we wander for 40 years, Moses receives our teachings from the Divine and ultimately helps our ancestors find their voice — an act that continues to influence the world today.

What’s remarkable about Moses is that he has no special powers or superhuman talents. Moses becomes the extraordinary leader we know after the Divine’s revelation to him. But what if Moses hadn’t lived long enough to receive the message?

Moses was born during a decree to kill all Israelite boys. His life was guarded by the ingenuity and courage of five powerful women: Yocheved, Miriam, Shifrah, Puah, and Batya. Without these women, Moses may never have led the Israelites out of Egypt.

To appreciate everything these five did, let’s dive into some Exodus 101: There comes a time when the Pharaoh forgets everything the Israelites have contributed to Egypt in generations past, and decides to enslave them. To ensure they never get too strong, he commands that all male Hebrew babies be killed at birth.

Cut to Shifrah and Puah, two midwives who defy Pharaoh. They both lie, saying they can’t kill the babies ​ ​ ​ ​ because the Hebrews are “gifted in midwifery” and give birth before the midwives can reach them. Why did these two take such a big risk? Shifrah and Puah, Exodus explains, felt such awe for the Divine that they could not bring themselves to kill the babies. (Even Torah tells us that our Matriarchs knew a thing or two about their bodies and their health! It’s time for us to possess that confidence and knowledge, too, don’t you think?)

Now, cut to an ordinary Israelite home. Moses is born there to Yocheved, who keeps him there in secret for ​ ​ three months. When Yocheved can no longer him, she makes a basket, carefully places Moses inside, and sends him down the Nile toward an unknown fate.

Moses’ sister, Miriam, follows the basket as her baby brother floats down the water. (In fact, she stands by ​ ​ Moses as a source of strength his entire life!) When the floating Moses reaches Batya, Pharaoh’s daughter, she ​ ​ sees potential in the unknown baby. She takes him home to raise him, and it’s she who names him Moses, meaning “drawn out from the Nile.”

Each woman, mentioned by name in the first chapter of Exodus, plays a vital role in Moses’ life.

Behind Moses stands a mighty support system — a team of co-founders, if you will — who were essential to his success. A 2015 study by the venture capital firm First Round Capital found something fascinating: if a company had at least one woman as a co-founder, it was 63% more likely to succeed than a company with an all-male team.

Although there are still far too few companies with women at the helm, the companies that do are more likely to succeed, to thrive, and reach their full potential. The same could be said for great Biblical leaders!

Moses’ impact is immeasurable. And without the women who invested in Moses’ future and potential, he would never have had the chance to lead. They each helped Moses become strong enough to share his light.

LET'S DISCUSS ● Who has made a remarkable impact on you and the light you share with the world? Whose life have you helped to transform? ● Why do you think companies are more likely to succeed with a woman on the leadership team? ● In what ways can your Well Circle be your Miriam, your bedrock?

Readings For Tevet

Come With Every Wound By Warsan Shire ​ Come with every wound and every woman you’ve ever loved; every lie you’ve ever told and whatever it is that keeps you up at night. Every mouth you’ve punched in, all the blood you’ve ever tasted. Come with every enemy you’ve ever made and all the family you’ve ever buried and every dirty thing you’ve ever done; every drink that’s burnt your throat and every morn - ing you’ve woken with nothing and no one. Come with all your loss, your regrets, sins, memories, black outs, secrets. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you

Who Said It Was Simple By Audre Lorde ​ There are so many roots to the tree of anger But I who am bound by my mirror that sometimes the branches shatter as well as my bed before they bear. see causes in color as well as sex Sitting in Nedicks the women rally before they march and sit here wondering discussing the problematic girls which me will survive they hire to make them free. all these liberations.

An almost white counterman passes a waiting brother to serve them first and the ladies neither notice nor reject the slighter pleasures of their slavery.

to hate is an easy lazy thing but to love takes strength everyone has but not all are willing to practice. -rupi kaur

A Conceit By Maya Angelou ​ Give me your hand Let others have For me the privacy of Give me your hand. Make room for me touching words to lead and follow and love of loss you of love. beyond this rage of poetry

A Song For Your Soul: Nicole Raviv By Nicole Raviv Nicole Raviv is an independent Canadian and Israeli singer-songwriter based in New York City. Her ​ roots are international, stemming from her Romanian mother and Moroccan father. Raviv sings in multiple languages with a background in musical theatre and a versatile vocal style. She recently released Middle Eastern infused pop/folk music and is constantly collaborating with musicians and producers around the world to express culture in her music. You can listen to her work on all streaming platforms and watch videos on Youtube. Nicole can also be seen center rink as the official National Anthem singer for the NHL New York Islanders. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, ​ ​ ​ ​ Youtube, and Spotify. ​ ​ ​

Nicole Raviv - Angel You can s​ tream ​ and w​ atch here​!

Lyrics

סבא פה הכל טוב (I am out here alone (Grandpa is here, it’s all good אבל משהו לא נוח לי (Can you see me I’m grown (But something isn't right איך סיפרת לי, (Hand to heart, I sense you in the sky (How you told me and my family stories ולמשפחתי Skin and bones lie here אתה רוצה לומר דבר אחד (Human life disappeared (You want to say one thing But the wind whispers your broken voice Can’t make out the words Say you love me (say you love me) תגיד אני אוהב אותך All I know is it hurts Forgive me and help me understand Are you with me? (say you're mine) תגיד אני שלך Say you love me ,say you love me) Give me a sign that you’re with me tonight) תגיד אני אוהב אותך (protect me) תשמור עליי ,Are you with me? Guardian Angel say you're mine) Centuries come, generations go) תגיד אני שלך (that’s how the years go by) ככה השנים הולכות Give me a sign that you’re with me tonight, protect me) Angel) תשמור עליי ,Guardian Angel (my angel) מלאך שלי Centuries come, generations go ?that’s how the years go by) Are you with me) ככה השנים הולכות Faithful (be with me) תהיה איתי .…Lalala Don’t leave me be לא יודעת מה לעשות (I don't know what to do) …Ahhhh אולי פרקי אבות (Maybe recite Jewish texts) הנשמה זועקת מתוכי (My soul is screaming from inside) …Lalalala ממשיכה לחשוב (I keep thinking)

Discussion Questions from Nicole: ● What would you say the song’s main themes are? What is it trying to teach us? ● How does loneliness make us feel? Can we learn to take the time of solitude to reflect inwards, perhaps journal, and/or find ways to express ourselves in order to heal on our own? ● The song’s title is Angel. How can we connect today to our angels? Can they help us live in the present? ● When we experience loss, what feelings come up? How do we transition from the angry stage to the ultimate acceptance of the circle of life? How do we move on? which translates to “my soul is screaming from ”הנשמה זועקת מתוכי״ In the Hebrew lyrics there’s a part ● inside.” Usually, when someone is unhappy, they have a physical reaction too (moping, crying, isolation). This lyric is an abstract way of describing anger by saying the soul is screaming. In the visual music video, this lyric is accompanied by a large tree falling in a forest during a storm. So let me ask you: If a tree falls, can anyone hear it? If a soul is screaming, can anyone hear it?

Recipe: Tevet Black-Eyed Pea Soup by Sarah Newman

This warm and nourishing soup is perfect for the dark season of Tevet. The black-eyed peas are inspired by the month’s opportunity to turn from the evil eye towards the good eye and reframe how we see and live in the world.

Ingredients Preparation 1.5 cup dry black-eyed peas 1. Soak black-eyed peas for at least an hour (or up to 24 hours). Rinse and add beans to a pot of water. Bring to a boil and then 3 cups vegetable broth reduce to simmer. Cook for about 30-40 minutes, until nearly cooked. 4 tomatoes, coarsely chopped 2. When the peas are almost ready, in a separate, large pot, heat 1 1 large or 2 small green or yellow tbsp olive oil over medium-low heat. Add the onion, garlic, and zucchinis, coarsely chopped carrots. Cook until soft, three to five minutes.

2 cloves garlic, coarsely chopped 3. Add the zucchini. Mix well and cook for a few minutes. Then add the tomatoes and vegetable broth. Cover and bring to a boil. 2 carrots 4. Add the black-eyed peas. Mix well. Reduce to a simmer and cook 1 yellow onion, chopped covered until beans are fully cooked, about 20 minutes. Continue cooking if the beans aren’t yet done. If the soup becomes too thick, Olive oil add water slowly until it thins.

Salt and pepper to taste 5. Salt and pepper to taste. Stir well. Remove from heat and drizzle with a fruity olive oil. Water

Sarah's Intention: Acknowledging Our Anger By Sarah Waxman

Sarah Waxman is the founder of At The Well. Sarah’s work unites her passion for Jewish community with her studies in sociology, holistic medicine, yoga, and mindfulness.

Starting at a very young age, I knew I felt anger. I would scream and get worked up, and I’d question everything I saw — big things like inequality and homelessness, and little things like my bedtime and who got to sit in the front seat on the way to school. I’ve always had a stream of justice running through my body.

I only had brothers, and I was keenly aware that girls and women were seen as weaker than, and even second to, men. My parents raised me to be strong and gave me opportunities just like my brothers. But society treated me differently than my brothers, and I knew it even as a six-year-old. I used to wish I was a boy so I could be more powerful.

Like many little girls in the ’80s, I was taught not to be angry. Instead, I should be “nice,” stay quiet, and not make a scene. I was never taught that it was okay to be angry — and certainly not taught how to channel that anger, energy, and passion into something productive or creative.

Had I learned the story of Judith, which Jewish tradition says we are supposed to read on Hanukkah, I might have seen myself reflected in her story. She’s a warrior woman who decides she can do whatever she wants, and she steps up to save the day. I would have seen her power, and I would have had a model for my own feelings.

But it took me until my mid-20s to learn Judith’s story, and simultaneously to find a place to explore my anger in a productive, supportive circle of my peers — my Well Circle.

I’ve learned a tremendous amount about myself by taking the themes of Tevet, exploring them with my crew, and learning to go into my anger, not fear it. I have learned to feel into the power and energy, and I have even begun to channel this anger into something productive, although I am still a work in progress when it comes to this.

For the Tunisian and other North African Jewish communities, the new moon of Tevet is marked by a celebration called Chag HaBanot, meaning Holiday of the Daughters. If you haven’t started adapting it in your family, I urge you to make it one of the sacred things you do this month. Read the story of Judith, and honor the warrior women who are our daughters and will be our future leaders.

This month, talk about your anger, and find ways collectively to channel it into a creation. Maybe be like Judith and chop the enemy’s head off, or just give each other permission to express your feelings. Either way, Chodesh Tov! I hope you and your Well Circle have a sacred, brave, and meaningful connection.