KEYNSHAM WALKING FOOTBALL CLUB NEWSLETTER Number 25 AJN Stadium, Bath Road, Keynsham

www.facebook.com/keynshamwalkers www.flickr.com/groups/4128099@N22 www.somersetfa.com/players/ways-to-play/walking-football Click the above to navigate to that page.

During this period of lockdown Andy Morse has not been idle. He has spent many hours redesigning the club’s web site to incorporate all parts of the club. Not officially launched yet, the progress made so far is available to view at Our walking football club has its own section and we now can edit our own content, to make sure that it is up to date and relevant ( ). It might look a bare in places mainly due to the shutdown of local football and the uncertainty about when it all might resume. However, Andy has made good use of his time during lockdown and the structure is now in place to fill it with everything you need to know about the club as we start to return to normality.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 1 As you can see from the home page of Keynsham Town’s new web site they are keen to raise much needed funds for the club because of the expected loss of local business sponsorship next season, as they recover from the loss of trade due to the coronavirus shutdown. But they also want to put something back into their community. They have identified Charlton House, an NHS care home ( ) run by Sirona Health Care that provides residential care for older vulnerable adults with a variety of disabilities, as an organisation they want to support to try and help their staff and residents during these challenging times.

Sirona Health Care’s Charlton House in Hawthorns Lane, Keynsham

50% of any donations go directly to Charlton House, and the other 50% to the football club. Regardless of how large or small the amount it will make a difference. Their aim is to raise £5,000 in total. The care home provides care and health services in a safe environment for older vulnerable adults with a variety of disabilities. It offers a broad range of activities which aim to promote independence by developing/maintaining and enhancing people’s skills, interest and abilities. They also offer services to support the wider community, which include respite care, day care, hairdressing service, toe nail cutting service and the use of an assisted bathroom. In addition there are rooms that can be booked for meetings and activities and refreshments can be provided. The Just Giving page is at

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 2 Following an article in Newsletter No 23 about football comebacks John Mead reminded me of one in which Bristol Rovers took part. In happened in 1960 in the old Second Division (now the Championship for our younger readers). Rovers were 4-nil down at half-time at Eastville, but almost came back to win it! The report below was taken from ‘ ’, published in 1987 and written by Mike Jay.

The old football cliché about a 'match of two halves' was never more justified than in describing this early-season encounter. Leeds controlled the first 45 minutes to build up a commanding four-goal lead; then Rovers took over and pulled back until they had earned a point from a game which seemed lost by half-time. Leeds took the lead through Grainger after only ten minutes and increased it eight minutes later with a disputed goal from Hawksby who appeared to handle the ball before flicking it over Norman's head. Worse was to follow for Rovers and after 30 minutes Ricketts was harshly penalised. Hair's free-kick found Peyton whose shot struck an upright before Hawksby bundled it home. Four minutes from half-time, Norman could only block a shot with his knees and McCole had the easiest of tasks in giving Leeds a seemingly unassailable lead. Yet within 60 seconds of the restart, Rovers had pulled a goal back. Winger George Petherbridge exchanged passes with Doug Hillard before cracking home a terrific drive. Somehow the crowd sensed that the result was not, after all, a foregone conclusion. Rovers drove forward in numbers and time and again United's goalkeeper, Ted Burgin, was tested. After 50 minutes Mabbutt took a quick free-kick and when Burgin failed to hold the ball, Ian Hamilton followed up to make it 4-2. Rovers were now surging forward and found their third goal in eight minutes when Petherbridge and Edge combined down the flank before Peter Hooper met the resultant cross and tapped home the ball from close range. The Leeds defence was now in panic and they began to kick the ball long and hard upfield with little apparent regard for its ultimate destination. Time-wasting tactics brought a warning from referee Jack Taylor and then, with two minutes remaining, Rovers drew level. Biggs' centre was deflected by a defender and Hooper slammed the ball through a crowd of defenders to cap an astonishing come-back. In the dying minute Rovers might have won the game but Graham Rickett hurried his shot and wasted a great chance of completing what would have been a quite astonishing victory. Bristol Rovers line up was: Norman; Hillard, Watling, Ricketts, Pyle, Mabbutt, Petherbridge, Biggs, Edge, Hamilton, Hooper. Attendance: 19,028, Referee: Mr J. Taylor (Wolverhampton). Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 3 Whilst re-reading some old football books during lockdown I cam across this account of a match played in 1945 and it reminded me of one of the first competitive games I ever played in. LONDON, NOVEMBER 1945 Moscow Dynamo's four-match tour of Britain attracted considerable publicity. The third match of the tour, against Arsenal, was unanimously described as a farce. It was played in a pea-soup fog at White Hart Lane, Tottenham — Arsenal's ground was still requisitioned for war use — and contained many disputes typical of matches between British teams and Continental opposition during that era. Post-match whining shifted between the Russian referee's system and decisions, the fouling, substitutions and, of course, the weather. In one afternoon the Russians were treated to a range of love-hate emotions. The public became aware of a culture clash at the start of Dynamo's first match of the tour, against Chelsea, when each Russian player presented a bouquet of flowers to his opposite number. They drew that game 3—3, then beat Cardiff City 10-1 to set up an intriguing fixture with Arsenal. George Allison, Arsenal manager, included six guests in his team, the most famous being Stan Matthews and Stan Mortensen (both Blackpool) and Joe Bacuzzi (Fulham). Fog muffles sound and destroys vision, and London in the 1940s provided regular experience. There is one story about a Charlton Athletic match being abandoned and the players lying in the bath before they realized goalkeeper Sam Bartram was not among them. They found him still in his goalmouth, hopping about, staying alert, thinking his team must be doing all the attacking. The White Hart Lane farce shouldn't have started. According to the players, visibility was down to a yard or two. The Russian referee encouraged criticism by sticking to the Russian linear system of refereeing rather than the British diagonal system. The two British linesmen were on the same side of the pitch, helped a little by their luminous flags, a novelty in Britain. Moscow Dynamo scored in the first minute but went 3—1 behind to goals by Ronnie Rooke and Stan Mortensen (2). At half-time Arsenal led 3—2. Arsenal made a substitution at half-time — goalkeeper Brown for goalkeeper Williams but later complained that Dynamo had substituted a player in the fog without anybody going off. There were also complaints that players from both sides were committing fouls and then sneaking back into the fog before the referee saw them. Considering visibility was so poor, people had amazing opinions of what was happening elsewhere on the pitch, such as the complaints about the last two Dynamo goals being offside or the shirt- pulling on Stan Matthews. Dynamo won 4—3, and, after the farce was completed, people agreed that the Russians were an excellent team, the best to visit Britain, a passing combination rather than individual dribblers. They went to Glasgow and drew 2—2 with Rangers before leaving. From Soccer’s Strangest Matches by Andrew Ward. [Cont on next page

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 4 So why did it remind me of one of my earliest matches? When I was at senior school (Speedwell in east Bristol) I always enjoyed playing football at lunchtime, in the school yard, usually with a tennis ball! However, I was never good enough to make the school team. That was until the end of my fourth year there, because the school leaving age was 14 at that time and most of the good footballers left to find work. I continued onto the fifth year and suddenly it became difficult to raise a school team, so I was drafted in. My first game was in a match away to Monks Park. It was probably early January because we played rugby from September to December and football from January to Easter. Inevitably it was cricket for the third term. It would have been a Saturday morning, cold and foggy. I was selected to play left wing (although I am right-footed) and the fog, which started badly got worse during the game. As I was attacking on the left side I could hardly see what was happening whilst we were defending down our right side. I remember standing on the halfway line to kick off for the second half and I couldn’t see either goalpost! To make matters worse we were playing in blue and yellow quarters and they were in blue and yellow halves! Finding the right player with a pass was far from easy, even for those who could play. I did not play well, feeling completely out of my depth and we lost 7-1. It was not a good start to my competitive football ‘career’, which in fact never improved much afterwards. Do you remember a strange match that you played in or watched? Let me know and I can include it in the next newsletter. Mike Slucutt

There has been much debate about how, if we cannot finish this football season, it should be resolved. The Football Association took quick action by terminating all non league football below National League level and expunging all results. That means, no promotion and no relegation. With some clubs still having to play up to 16 matches (as in the case of Bradford Town in the Western League) and the possibility of play-off matches as well, there was probably little else they could. This, however, was particularly unfair on clubs like Jersey Bulls in the Combined Counties League (27 wins out of 27) and Vauxhall Motors of the North West Counties League, both of whom sat at the top of their respective leagues and had already clinched promotion. Some people thought they could use points per game to resolve the issue, but then what happens to those in the play-offs? Some clubs might be adversely affected or even better off, as with the case of Keynsham Town who had 11 away and only three home matches left. A more complicated solution involves averaging the home points amassed so far, then averaging the away points and totting that lot up, but that still leaves the play-offs undecided. The Non-League Football Paper came up with their own ingenious idea (although perhaps one not to be taken too seriously) and resolved the whole matter in a week, play-offs included. They simulated all the un-played matches using Sports Interactive’s Football Manager 2020.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 5 As the season stuttered to an unexpected end, Barrow were four points clear at the top of the National League and hoping to return to the the Football League for the first time since 1967 whilst in-form Harrogate Town were hoping to clinch promotion themselves and force Barrow into the play-offs. The two clubs were due to meet on 1st April in what might have been a title decider. Well, Football Manager did indeed predict a win for Harrogate Town by 2 goals to nil, but then they ‘lost’ their next two matches to lose ground on Barrow. The final league table came out with Barrow on top and Harrogate second. Barnet had a late run of success, squeezing themselves into the play-offs in fifth place and pushing Stockport County out. In the play-offs Barnet beat FC Halifax Town and Harrogate Town (the latter 5-4 on penalties) to reach the final as did Yeovil Town who, by finishing third, only had to beat Notts County to get to Wembley.. The final went Barnet’s way 2 - 0 with goals from Johnson and Mason-Clark in the first half. AFC Fylde, Maidenhead Town, Ebbsfleet United and Chorley swapped places, but all still ended up in the relegation places. In National League North, York City were two points clear at the top when Football Manager took over and had a dreadful run in picking up only seven points from their remaining eight matches. Kings Lynn took full advantage of their two games in hand and won the championship and promotion by seven points. The North play-off final was between Spennymoor Town and Chester, who had squeezed into the last play-off place in seventh place. Chester went a goal down in the first half but second half goals from Watters and Dudley clinched promotion. In was no surprise that Bradford Park Avenue and Blyth Spartans finished in the bottom two places. Wealdstone unsurprisingly won the National League South title and local side Bath City finished in third place, going straight into the semi-finals of the play-offs. Bath took the lead against Havant & Waterlooville with a first-half goal from Noah Chivers but McQueen and Lewis hit back to send Bath crashing out of the play-offs in their first match for the second season running. Havant then faced Dartford in the final and a goal in each half sent would have sent the south-coast side back to the National league at the first attempt, had this been for real. As with the North the bottom two sides stayed there after this simulation, meaning that Braintree Town and Hungerford Town remained firmly at the bottom. Anyway, as Peter Snow would say, ‘It’s just a bit of fun’ and with the National League now declaring their season over, we will never know for sure. Thanks to the Non-League Football Paper and Sports Interactive for a bit of light relief in these troubled times.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 6 Thanks to your generosity (and a bit of topping up from our Good Causes account) we have sent £1,000 to

The details of this charity were given in Newsletter number 23. Thank you.

The libraries of South Gloucestershire, Bristol, BANES and North Somerset have for several years been teamed up to form Libraries West ( ). Whether or not you have a library card for either library you can register for their online services. With that you can download free e-books, e-audiobooks, e-magazines and e-comics. You can also, if you are a family history buff, during the time when the libraries are closed, use the library edition of Ancestry.com. I used to pay about £35 per year for a digital subscription to Astronomy magazine, now I can read it for free and a lot more besides.

This warning came from Siemens via South Gloucestershire Council, so it is genuine.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 7 It’s the equivalent to being with the prettiest Carlton Palmer can trap the ball woman in the world and only sleeping with further than I can kick it her once a month. I prefer to sleep with someone slightly less pretty every night

Sounds a bit like me! - MS

It wasn’t her wedding anniversary, it was Sung to the tune of ‘Lord of the Dance’ her birthday, because no way I’d have ‘Joe Royle, got married in the football season. And it Whatever you may do wasn’t Rochdale, it was Rochdale You’re going down to Division Two Reserves You won’t win a cup You won’t win a shield Your next derby is Macclesfield’

All the cul-de-sacs are closed for How times have changed. Manchester Scotland City flying higher in the Premier League, Stockport County in the National League and until last season in National League North - MS If you’re in the penalty area and you don’t know what to do with As I was heading towards goal, Allan the ball, put it in the net and will Ball was shouting: ‘Hursty, Hursty give discuss the options later me the ball! I said to myself: ‘Sod you Bally, I’m on hat-trick

I want to try and spread the support with my Bristol connection. Rovers are in the bottom division so why can’t I try and convert some of them into Argyle fans? We’re in the West Country so it’s not far away. Only two and a half hours in a slow car, an hour in a fast one - 10 minutes in a rocket! As long as you aimed it right, you’d be down here really quickly. Don’t land it on the pitch, though, because you’d ruin it ’

PS It’s not going to happen Martin! - MS

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 8 Chesterfield 1 Chester 1 - another score Sorry Mr Chairman, but this is the draw in the local derby earliest I have been late for some time.

The World Cup is every four years, so They [Bayern Munich] lost in the semi- it’s going to be a perennial problem. finals of the Champions League to Real Madrid last year, and the year before that were beaten in the final by Gardeners, take note! Manchester United, so their European pedigree is second to none Southampton is a very well run football team from Monday to Friday. It’s Germany are a very difficult team to Saturdays we have a problem with play … they had 11 internationals out there today When you play with two wingers you look a bit like a taxi with both doors open, anyone can get in or out As a small boy I was torn between two ambitions: to be a footballer or to run away and join a circus. At Partick Thistle I got to do both I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will thrash England and qualify easily for the World Cup. What could possibly go wrong? The English haven’t beaten us in Munich for a hundred years Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals

I realise now that computer games have affected my performance badly. The last time I had a nightmare was at Middlesbrough in the Coca-Cola Cup and I had played Nintendo for eight hours beforehand

Perhaps that explains a lot about what happened at Ashton Gate - MS

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 9 Homophones or homonyms are words that sound the same have different spellings eg course and coarse. Can you find the homophones that match these phrases eg Expensive stag - Dear deer 1. Nude bruin 2. End of story 3. Pens words correctly 4. Frost’s poem 5. Observe ocean 6. Only one person 7. Rip weed 8. Vegetable mole 9. Work for vase 10. Little boy played on horn 11. Fish shop 12. Amusement park food 13. Damage check 14. Harsh neckwear 15. Peel fruit 16. Hot weather résumé 17. Despatched perfume 18. Floor yarn 19. Canvas Auction 20. Single advance

Thanks to Martin Coles for these conundrums. Answers at the end of this newsletter

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 10 Example: Q. Out of date meat A. Oldham 1. Heavyweight toilet 2. Wild dogs 3. Professor of rollers 4. Glass mansion 5. Dirty Scottish stream 6. Robin Hood country 7. Dirty water 8. Males together 9. Inter 10. Steel city day 11. Always one hundred 12. Royal leisure area wardens 13. Famous for their OAPs 14. Wombles vs MacEnroe 15. Vehicle surrounded by water 16. Detectives need these 17. Bobby fit 18. What burglars do (awful pun) 19. A prison clock (almost as bad) 20. Organ of small lake

Thanks to an obscure Internet site and some fiddling by Mike. Answers at the end of this newsletter.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 11 1. Which band wrote and performed the theme to ‘Top Gear’ and name the tune? 2. Glen Frey from The Eagles co-wrote one of their biggest hits, ‘Take it Easy’. Which singer/songwriter was also credited? 3. Which ‘Byrd’ went on to greater fame in the late 60s/early 70s with one of the first so-called ‘Supergroups’. 4. Rosanne Cash (daughter of Johnny) did an album of covers called ‘The List’. Who wrote the song from the album called ‘Girl from the North Country’? 5. The American band ‘Counting Crows’ had a hit with a Joni Mitchell song. Which one? 6. Where did the band ‘Crowded House’ originate from? Name the brothers that were in the band at various times. 7. The band ‘Deacon Blue’ took their name from a song by which American band that were big in the 1970s? 8. The song ‘Don’t Come Home Too Soon’ by Del Amitri was written for which country’s World Cup, and which sport? 9. English singer/songwriter Nick Drake died very young. How many original albums did he release? 10. The song ‘How Long’ from The Eagles double album ‘Long Road Out of Eden’ was written by the so-called ‘Fifth Eagle’, not officially a member of the band.. He was a singer/songwriter in his own right. Who is he?

Thanks to Steve Davies for this quiz. Anyone who gets them all right really knows their music! Answers at the end of this newsletter.

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 12 Do you live in Bristol or South Gloucestershire and are looking after someone through COVID-19? Families, friends and neighbours often provide crucial care for someone who couldn't manage without their help. You could be caring for a relative, partner or friend who is ill, frail, disabled or has mental health or substance misuse problems. In this worrying time, Carers Support Centre urges carers to reach out to their support systems. All carers must consider what their contingency plans are in the event of them contracting COVID-19 and being unable to provide care. Is there someone who can support you if this becomes necessary? Talk to family and friends about this, to help reduce anxiety during this uncertain time. It has never been more important to have a Carers Emergency Card. This card shows your name, a unique identification number and an emergency phone number. If you have an accident/emergency or are taken seriously ill, the card can be used to alert a 24-hour emergency call centre that the person you care for needs help. Steps are then taken to ensure the safety of the person cared for. If you look after someone and you don't have a Carers Emergency Card, make sure you register for one now. Register for a card on the Carers Support Centre website:

Carers Support Centre's well-being service is also here for local carers. It aims to give emotional support and help you become more resilient. This is a difficult and testing time for carers. The well-being service includes befriending, mentoring and counselling. It is free, confidential and is delivered by phone. Through the befriending service, the charity will match you with a trained volunteer, who can provide conversation, companionship and emotional support. Contact Maria for more information: [email protected] 07526 850 772 If you need to talk about issues relating to your caring situation, get in touch with us at:. CarersLine: 0117 965 2200, 10 am to 1 pm, Monday to Friday, 2 pm to 4 pm, Monday to Thursday: CarersOnline: [email protected] Carers Support Centre also has a coronavirus FAQ page full of guidance, advice and resources for carers: at: Tel no 0800 0388 885 Weekdays 8.15 am to 3 pm Carers Emergency Card It is free to apply for a Carers Emergency Card. Carers carry a card with a unique identification number and an emergency phone number. If a corer has an accident/emergency, the card can be used to alert a 24 hour emergency call centre. Steps are then taken to ensure the safety of the cared for person

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 13 Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 14 Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 15

The solutions to the puzzles in Newsletter 23 are given below.

S B D L S A H E A D E R B II T T O N E C V T N E D A E K B O C O C H I L E R E N T O N S E I R E I T A L Y R S A E N Q O B L A N C T U R F B B G H A A F E M I L E A S S U R E D N L R M T T A C E L T I C G R E E D Y H Y A O R S

B R I D P O R T Y N G A G S

R N E G H B S B N W N E Z B

I W F I E N I A O O I K F B

S O S P D T L T H T L B W I

L T S E T B F H K E O O N R

I M N O R L C C C M H C I C

N A N U A N M I O O S O S D

G H I Q P B R T T R U M E G

T S D O L N A Y S F K I J T

O N C N W C D P I B A D E E

N Y A I S L D E V R E E D I

M E C E M B E S A C R A W E

I K R N A I H L T T I G N L

N E L L A H C C S B C R T S

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 20 1. Nude bruin Bare bear 1. Luton 2. End of story Tail tale 2. Wolves 3. Pens words correctly Write right 3. Doncaster 4. Frost’s poem Rime rhyme 4.. Crystal Palace 5. Observe ocean See sea 5. Blackburn 6. Only one person Sole soul 6. Nottingham Forest 7. Rip weed Tear tare 7. Blackpool 8. Vegetable mole Leek leak 8. Man United 9. Work for vase Earn urn 9. Bury 10. Little boy played on horn Blue blew 10. Sheffield Wednesday 11. Fish shop Plaice place 11. Everton 12. Amusement park food Fair fare 12. Queen’s Park Rangers 13. Damage check Break brake 13. Chelsea 14. Harsh neckwear Rough ruff 14. Wimbledon 15. Peel fruit Pare pear 15. Carlisle 16. Hot weather résumé Summery summary 16. Leeds 17. Despatched perfume Sent scent 17. Charlton Athletic 18. Floor yarn Storey story 18. Brechin 19. Canvas Auction Sail sale 19. Celtic 20. Single advance Lone loan 20. Liverpool

1. Jessica by the Allman Brothers. 2. Jackson Browne 3. David Crosby. 4. Bob Dylan. 5. Big Yellow Taxi 6. New Zealand. Neil and Tim Finn. 7. Steely Dan. 8. Scotland’s football team. 9. 3 10. J D Souther

Newsletter no 25, May 2020 Page 21