The green rabbit from Marvel “” is back ... and he’s planning the biggest heist in galactic history!

Remember Jaxxon, the six-foot-tall green rabbit who fought alongside Han and Chewie in Marvel’s “Star Wars” comics? Well, he’s fresh out of prison ... and he’s looking for payback. Jaxxon has a plan: He wants to steal the legendary Kaiburr Crystal from Jabba’s Palace Hotel & Casino. Working with Han, he builds a heist team that includes Chewie, Lando and a rogue’s gallery of characters from Marvel’s “Star Wars” run — including Dani, Simon Greyshade, Master-Com, The Kid, Don-Wan Kihotay and at least one guy named “Jabba the Hut.” Can this middle-aged pack of idiots pull off the ultimate score in the Expanded Universe — right under the nose of family-friendly casino mogul Bib Fortuna? This ashcan collects the first 68 pages of David Stroup and Mike Russell’s fan webcomic. “Jaxxon’s 11” is a salute to a by Mike Russell long time ago, when “Star Wars” comics were free to make up their universe as they went along — meaning that universe sometimes featured talking rabbits, men in breeches and lizards shooting laser beams out of their heads. & David Stroup

www.jaxxons11.com Vol. 1: Eleven Against A Casino!

Story Mike Russell and David Stroup

Script Mike Russell www.CulturePulp.com

Art David Stroup www.webcomicsnation.com/dstroup yossarian.org

Scenes

1. Return to ...... 2 2. Jabba’s Palace and Casino...... 8 3. “I ain’t no rodent.”...... 13 4. Hut vs. ...... 19 5. ’s Junk n’ Java...... 25 6. Lando and Libido...... 29 7. Siegfried and Robot...... 36 8. Everybody Comes to Vol’s...... 44 9. Smells Like Spirit...... 53

“Star Wars” and its characters are TM and © Ltd. This is an ashcan for a fan-webcomic that goofs on Marvel’s late-’70s “Star Wars” comics. We aren’t making a dime on this.

And by all means, go buy “Star Wars: A Long Time Ago...” — ’ trade-paperback collection of the entire Marvel “Star Wars” run. Half the references in “Jaxxon’s 11” will suddenly make sense if you do.

www.jaxxons11.com

69 So here’s what happened...

t was 2003 (if memory serves). David “I always kind of wanted to have Jaxxon Stroup and I were working as com- round up Han and some old Marvel I munity-news journalists in Milwaukie, characters for one last heist,” I said, Oregon, which also happens to be home half-joking. to Dark Horse Comics headquarters. Within a minute, “Ocean’s 11” was our David and I were sitting in a Milwaukie narrative crutch. coffee shop. In walked an editor who “They’re stealing something,” I continued. worked on Dark Horse’s “Star Wars” “I don’t know, maybe the Kaiburr Crystal comics. from ‘Splinter of the Mind’s Eye’ —” I told this editor, as a joke, that I wanted “— from Jabba’s Palace Hotel and to write a comic about Jaxxon. Casino,” David replied. If you’re reading this, you probably It sort of snowballed with terrifying speed from there. already know that Jaxxon was a seven-foot-tall, talking green rabbit who fought alongside and Chewie David and I had cracked the basic storyline by the time in a few of the early issues of Marvel’s “Star Wars” comic we’d gotten back to the office — filling it with little details book in the 1970s. Wookieepedia tells us that like a one-tentacled Bib Fortuna trying to run Jabba’s Jaxxon was created by Roy Thomas and Howard Chaykin for use former palace as a legitimate entertainment business, in Marvel Star Wars’ “Star Wars 8: Eight for Aduba-3.” A large a giant animatronic Rancor Pit Beast, and of course the anthropomorphic bunny, he was created in homage to Warner ineffable melancholy of revisiting old “” Brothers cartoon star Bugs Bunny who often addressed strang- haunts and finding them filled with family-friendly kitsch. ers with the generic nickname “Jackson” in his 1940s cartoons. A few months later, on a whim, I faxed a pitch to (BTW, the Marvel issues are all being collected by Dark TheForce.net, the mammoth “Star Wars” fan site: Would Horse in a trade-paperback series called “Star Wars: A they run a “Jaxxon” comic strip as a piece of fan fiction in Long Time Ago...” You should buy them.) TFN’s “Humor” section? Then-Humor-section editor Jaxxon was a mercenary like Han, had a ship called the Chris Hanel (now a good friend) called me at work a few “Rabbit’s Foot,” wore a bright red spacesuit, ate meat, days later and said, “Let’s DO this!” The rest is flirted with this female human called Amaiza, and hated (as yet unfinished) history. being called a “rodent” like it was some kind of racist This ashcan contains the first 68 pages of “Jaxxon’s 11” epithet. — everything we’ve completed thus far, and roughly the Nearly 30 years later, Jaxxon was still stuck in my head, first half of the story. Our collaboration goes something because (a) a large, green, mildly terrifying rabbit will like this: I write the initial script. David then adds his own tend to do when you’re 8 years old and obsessed with all jokes and ideas as he draws the script, inserting little things “Star Wars,” and (b) Jaxxon is without a doubt one background details that really reward a second reading. I of the most awesomely goofy characters in the history of take a final pass at the dialogue while I letter the pages. the Expanded Universe. I’d like to think the end result is richer than a “Jaxxon’s 11” that either of us would write and draw alone — and that Anyway. The editor gave a mild chuckle and went back it’s also richer than if we’d each held fast to the tradition- to work. But for some reason — the coffee? the hour? our ally rigid roles of “writer” and “illustrator.” deep-seated geekdom? — David and I kept riffing on the idea. And somewhere along the way, it sort of ceased to Updates are posted every once in a while at be a joke. www.jaxxons11.com. We hope you dig it. — Mike Russell, March 2011

68 1 KESSEL CORRECTiONAL FACiLiTY PAROLE HEARING. A long time ago. 10:30 a.m.

Now, Mr. Jaxxon…. This board is recommending your You’ve release with no small given us assurances amount of concern. I understand that you’re reformed, but let’s be frank... that, sir.

...“turning a new leaf” isn’t exactly a hallmark of LEPUS Well, sir, most CARNiVORUS. your species is Yes... Lepans haven’t known across the galaxy for And for done hard time in its love of smuggling - being green. the Spice Mines of Kessel, have they? and the ears. We appreciate that, Mr. Jaxxon.

And while you have - your heart- felt pledge - - that you don’t have been a MODEL any More tricks up prisoner, this board your your sleeve. nevertheless needs vow - your solemn oath -

Gentlemen, Please …

… Tricks are for kids. TheForce.net JAXXON’S presents 11

starring

JAXXON HAN SOLO

BIB FORTUNA AMAIZA with and introducing

SEN. SIMON GREYSHADE (ret.) and MASTER-COM JACEN JAINA DON-WAN KIHOTAY JIMM, the “STARKILLER KID” as those adorable DANI Solo Twins JABBA the HUT JABA the HUTT

and R5-D4

Story by DAVID STROUP and MIKE RUSSELL

Script by MIKE RUSSELL

Art by DAVID STROUP

Lettering font by w w w .b l a m b o t .c o m “Mos Eisley: you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy - not at these prices!” - Mos Eisley Tourism Development Commission

Man, this place is going to seed ... and not in a There he is. good way....

Thanks for showing up, Your Highness. Heh. That’s “General Solo” to you, pal. is it just me, or did this place kind of turn into a SPORTS BAR? it did. After you blasted your way I’m not. These days Those geeks into history a few years ago, Mos Eisley’s got who dress up in turned into a tourist museums, theme parks, clonetrooper trap. Chalmun sold out while the casinos…. They’ve even got a “living-history” suits and stage selling was good. society. battles in You’re parks? man, kidding. That’s just sad.

I know. The were bad enough the first time around without a bunch of overweight salesmen running around GRONK. in plastic armor commemorating it. By the way - hi, Chewie. Hi, Kids.

! ?

Uh, Listen, Jax - I’m just Excuse me? passing through. Leia’s on her May be with you! Does any of way to this big delegation I’m Steve, and I’ll be your server! that come with thingy, And I’m keeping an eye Can I interest you in some “Skywalker Sauce”? on the kids, So, you know, I’m blasters, Salacious Crumbs or always happy to help an old Force Lightning Shooters? friend, but - Uh, No, but - Heh May the force be with Then coffee’s you! fine, Thanks. would you get a load of these theme drinks? It is fun! Look at this - I mean, what’s a “grand I bought it outside! It looks malt tarkin”? What? like obi-wan when he was Oh, relax; young, but it’s really a this place used to lollipop holder! You push be really seedy, the button and his head and now it’s kind spins around! check it out! of fun! I could bring Leia and the kids!

There’s one Han, han, Han... What the hell happened that looks like to you? Remember the battles we me, too! fought together? you, me, Amaiza, the starkiller kid? don-Wan Kihotay? You remember - back before you had to go and blow up Another ?

And now look at you: Mr. The galaxy wAs a more ... sitting there ... dangerous place back then! Organa-Solo, the former with a lollipop sticking you sure as hell weren’t galactic hero.... out of his head. tripping over and Gungans every four feet, I can tell you that! is that what this is Jax, I’m a father of two! I’m a about? “The Good Old married man! I’m a major player in my God - Days”? Why’d you want are they playing to meet galactic politics! I know we fought a version of I thought me, Jax? that swoop gang together - Muzak you might Figrin D’an and want to help - and that lizard that shot the Modal Nodes? me dish out laser beams out of its head - “Payback”? a little No, that’s my payback. - AND that lizard that shot comlink. Hang GRONK. laser beams out of its head*, on a sec - but come on! I’d love to help, but my pirate days are behind me!

* Many, MANY issues ago. - Archie.

Yes, Jaxxon’s trying to - Yes, we have no, dear, I won’t - Hey, honey…. Yeah, I’m still with formula.... hang on a sec.... Jaxxon. You would not BELiEVE what’s they’ve done to the cantina diapers.... - Oh, Leia says hello. the little wipes.... Chewie, hand me I’m sorry - the hydro-spanner. Hello. what?…. Jaxxon says hi back. Yeah, the twins are getting a little fussy...

For some reason, the blinking light on Jabba’s Honey, I’m this thing calms them I’m taking right-hand gonna have to down.... Now, who exactly man? stay on do you want to down Bib Fortuna. Tatooine for a “pay back,” Jax? Maybe few days. I know someone ….

Bib Fortuna. “So Bib Eh Wanna Wanga! Ladies and Fortuna is gentlemen, Gungans and Ewoks...... Welcome to Jabba’s Palace ALiVE?” Hotel and Casino - Where you Ook! Ook! “You haven’t can experience the danger and heard about decadence of the galactic Empire! this? yeah, Boo! Hiss! he survived the High Roller Cruise to the Pit the barge of Carkoon departs in an hour… explosion ... and opened a Ook! Ook! theme casino on the ruins of Jabba’s palace. it’s all perfectly legit now, of course....”

… I’m Bib Fortuna, your master of ceremonies - and I’d like to personally thank you for choosing us over the Tusken Raider Tribal Casino up the road!

Before we embark, let’s enjoy a dance from my nubile slave girl! Dance, WENCH!

Oh. Right.... Sorry. Ahem. Slave “I HESITATE, mighty Bib Fortuna, girl? Am I not for fear of displeasing you - for you fearsome? are more fearsome than could ever have hoped to be.” OO! Yeah! OO! Hubba Wizard! hubba!

ENOUGH! Your inept Oh. RiGHT. GYRAtiONS APPALL me! “You have Come here and give me a kiss instead! engendered my wrath, helpless sprite! into the “No, no, mighty Bib Fortuna - for you Rancor’s jaws are even more with you!” repulsive than Jabba the Hutt could ever have hoped to be.”

EEEK. Ahem. EEEEK.

OOOOH. OH - Will you all please BE SURE TO CHECK OUT excuse me for a THE CONCESSiONS in the moment? droid torture chamber! EH WANNA WANGA!

WELL? What was What was they’re gone. You that? what? can come out now.

That lifeless Listen, Amaiza - I know it was rough performance for you when Black Sun and the Black Hole Gang went out of business. Believe me, up there! Sorry. I don’t do I KNOW what it’s like when a criminal submissive. empire goes down in flames. But Honey, I you know what? You ADAPT. took this gig on as a favor.

Uh-uh. Wrong. I GAVE you this And then you gig as a favor. Shall we review? grab me and Actually, if memory start crying, You wandered back here serves, it was more “Oh, Bib - after that … RABBiT of like, “Oh, Bib - what am I what am I gonna do - yours got sent to prison. What can I say? I like gonna do?” Ew! what happened to green. your HEAD?”

I’ll TELL you Exactly what happened: The only catch Exactly. I lost a tentacle and I wised up. being that I have Kiss me or Jabba’s Palace is a legitimate to pretend to be you’re fired. entertainment business now. chained to you. And YOU, my dear, have a legitimate job that pays far more than it should. Ah-HA! so that’s “I don’t care about the it - this is about decoration on Bib Amaiza! Jaxxon, Fortuna.... I’m more you old dog... interested in what’s “the lobby?” No, no - decorating the lobby.” we’re in the past...

“but that’s nothing “Uh-huh. you see, han, part of the compared to what whole ‘jabba’s palace’ gimmick is he’s got in a special that bib collects artifacts from gallery, under heavy the war. He’s got a bunch of old security...” , that card thing that held the death-star plans....”

“... Where it’s almost Never unattended...”

“...Between the “...is a certain “Hold on - Bib two-headed force-enhancing has the Kaiburr womp rat...” crystal...” Crystal?”

“...and the authentic clonetrooper armor “...the ‘splinter of with battle the mind’s eye’ “Yep. And we’re damage...” itself...” going to steal it.” We're going to steal the KAiBURR CRYSTAL? How?! ... The walls Hold have ears. Let's that talk outside. thought-

Outta my way, rodent!

D-did he just call Mr. Jaxxon the R-word? Not again! time for a Flashback! ... They nicknamed me “rodent” - and when they weren't calling me that, they were FORCING me to eat vegetables. I grew up to this day, I can't hear the word “rodent” with eleven without wanting to clock someone - older sisters, doc...

... and with these ears, Doc, I hear that word a LOT.

For sharing your IG-88? Heartfelt your feelings, validate empathy is. you we do, Jaxxon... Bossk? Yesss... now share I compute the the group will, logic of Jaxxon's hmmm? statements. the shape of my Wheeez. head has inspired Hissss. more than a few emasculating puns. Agree more I could not....

Drebble? Well, then, you won't How do I “feel”? be surprised if I I feel BORED! Jaxxon, use the FORCE! m’boy, With your endless now, Jaxxon - whining, I'm beginning to remember, you must, wonder if you’re really to Use your Dressed words... as a sports mascot - USE YOUR You know, I used to Actually, WORDS ahem. pummel guys who called you've USE YOUR WORDS me “rodent”…. pummeled this USE YOUR WORDS guy before. USE YOUR WORDS USE YOUR WORDS....

use your words, Jaxxon ....

Oh, yeah! On Aduba-3! anyway. while I was in I remember you! aheh ... I was kinda prison, Dr. Yodio told me to hoping you’d forgotten about that.... use my words. At first, I didn't really understand what he meant… not likely.

For example, tHis! take a look at - Oh, God - not the face!

uh... Exactly! Silly rabbit! But ... You have the words eventually I figured out what “NOUN” and “VERB” tattooed Dr. Yodio meant, and it inspired on your knuckles. me to EDUCATE myself... I read books that CONFIRMED that You kinda have my people - the lepans - have almost buck teeth. nothing in common with the Order Rodentia! For one thing, I lack upper and lower incisors for gnawing! Not to That's because my family mention I don't have a diastent followed couldn't afford braces. by molars or pre-molars!

in ANY case - the ... And you'll have to take enamel extends to the my WORD for it that my pterygoid posterior portion of my teeth - skull region is just WOEFULLY and unlike either rodentia or under-developed! lagomorpha, I possess fully developed canines! ter... terry... Goyd?

My feet have And just LOOK at my only three toes cranium! Does that glenoid and no claws! fossa look even REMOTELY My temporalis elongate to you? muscle is HUGE and my Not to masseter muscles are mention that weak! the distance between my orbits is HARDLY constricted - and I have a distinct LACK of postorbital processes! Uh... do I even got one a’ er... distance to those? the orbit of what? furthermore, I have no baculus - not even a vestigial baculus! - and ... I just LOVE I think so... my cheek teeth are rootless a good steak! and hypsodont... are you getting all this? Good. one more thing....

anyway. Glad we could clear that up! See ya!

I always thought he looked more like a gangrenous beaver, myself.

so did I! glenoid fossa.... Nice restraint back there, Jax - I was sure you were gonna kick that guy down another flight of stairs....

nah.... not while I’m on parole.... and not before I get my shot at Bib. say... I don’t remember this town being quite so crowded. Where’d all these top-heavy pack animals come from?

uh, that’s kind of a new We were about to start building our team. development... watch where First off, we’ll need someone who knows you step with those big feet of Jabba's Palace inside and out…. yours.... now, where were we?

... someone who knows that How about palace better than jabba jabba the hut... knew it himself...... and jaba I think I the hutt? know where to start.... I’m sorry - come again? I know marriage has softened No, no - you don’t understand: your brain, han, but we can’t I owed money to THREE people recruit Jabba the Hutt - much named “Jabba” (more or less)… less TWO of him. He’s dead.

Next time you want to I owed money to JABBA talk to me.... THE HUTT, the big sluggy crime lord we all knew and loved…

…But I also ... come see me owed money to yourself.... JABA THE HUTt…

... Don’t send one of these twerps! …and JABbA THE HUT. Okay, so don’t take “Jabba the HUT - one ‘t’ - this stuff too fast - was the Dune Sea’s best it gives you gas. spice dealer. he played off the name similarity and built up his own mini-syndicaTe. Jabba (the slug) eventually let him run his business out of the palace - for a hefty cut of the profits, of course.…”

See? What’d I tell you? want another one?

So you’ll give me some spice if I swim in this bowl and let Jabba swallow me? “… And JABA the Hutt - one ‘B’ - ran the palace kitchen. Yep. Jabba occassionally tapped this guy to act as his body double - don’t ask....” cool. “I was smuggling spice for all ... I heard about that. three of ’em when I got boarded. couldn’t hit the I jettisoned THREE spice loads, broad side of a . Yeah... but I gotta ask: did you Really not one… And all of ’em three let him shoot first? sent Greedo to collect.”

well... yes. it’s kind of embarrassing, ... I knew I could use but yeah - I gave him a free shot. I wasn’t the ol’ Correllian really worried... neck trick to dodge it. The correllian neck trick?

yeah. watch this -

It’s a Correllian boo. ouch. That thing. The kids can do it, was easier too - watch this! when I was Hey, kids.... younger.... Anyway, Bib hated those guys Well, in case they’re almost as much as they hated each holding any grudges, let’s other. he had ’em fired before I was meet in a public place… encased in carbonite - so I KNOW they’re looking for a little payback.

soon... Here they come. Are you sure it was a good idea not to tell each of them the other one was coming….?

trust me.

you’d better have my money -

solo, Hey!

Hey, jab-

WHAT THE HELL iS HE DOING HERE?! Yeah, THiS was Besides, if you KiLL each a good idea… Gentlemen, other, how can you spend all PLEASE! There are the money I owe you? children present!

Oo! Money!

Consider your dumped cargo Please! I’m planning paid in full. Now: you could my OWN revenge on Bib just blast away at each other, Fortuna - but then you wouldn’t be able Me, to help us dish out a little... too! what’d you call it, Jax?

“Payback.”

That’s right - “PAYBACK” - to a certain Bib Fortuna. you remember him - The guy who ran you out of the palace?

Actually, the order - and I CERTAINLY don’t need any Rodentia - help from the first lady of the Uh, Jax - I’ll House of , his shag-carpet handle this - nursemaid and a RODENT! Oh, I’ve studied up on your fancy “revenge” plans, boys... How’s the lawsuit coming, Jabba? Still trying to represent yourself as you sue Bib...

... For misappropriation of the word “Jabba”?

and Jaba - I hear the “Jaba’s Palace & I’ll bet that’s working Casino” you opened down the street isn’t REAL well against a team exactly setting mos eisley on fire. What’s the of high-paid casino big “historical artifact” you’ve got on lawyers…. I request a short display there? a giant recess, your honor... hairball? my witness has a Um, a collection of bad motivator.... General Madine’s hairpieces….

Uh-huh. Well, Bib th-the Now. Who Fortuna’s got the kaiburr else ya Kaiburr Crystal. crystal? can we need, jax? really-? Wanna help yep. us steal it? yep. Okay, so basically for this to work we need to build a TROUPE - a cast of characters, really…

my plan hinges on Bib’s “high-roller cruise” to the pit of carkoon ... where he stages a re-enactment of jabba’s last stand...

… what I need is a group of ACTORS who look like the folks who rescued first, let’s find a droid to stand in for you from Jabba’s Palace. that R2 unit of yours - you know, an astromech with a few dents…

... so - know any No. How honest, respectable about that droid dealers in guy? town? why not. you know, these “coffee bars” You order it, they pour it - got popular while I was in prison, hot, black, served in a chipped mug. and I still don’t get the concept. Come on - three credits I mean, You need a whole for that? restaurant for coffee?

Hi. I’d like a double- You do realize that the tall extra-foam “Jabba galaxy went Totally soft Java” with correllian while I was locked up, spice; My friend here will right? have the “old coot’s cup o’ midnight”...

Are you sure you wouldn’t like to try our Solo? “Mandalorian Amour” fair-trade house blend?

Watto! Good to see you’re still whatever. I’ll cut alive and flapping, pal! to the chase, old man: We need a droid who’s solo... you kept lived a little - blowing up space stations run by my best pod-racer...

... in what freaky parallel universe does that make us ah... “pals”? ... You want a droid who’s lived a little? I’ve got plenty! step into my showroom!

too old hm. well, ... that one’s waaay too too big... old... too cute... too small ... look, watto...

too silly...

... what we really need is an right, right.... astromech unit - one of R5-d4, get those tough little over here! fireplug guys.... I found this little fellow out in the dune sea...

... He was wandering between a ...well, that’s great, burned-out farm and a burned- but we’re looking for one out sandcrawler! must have of those round-headed R2 survived some sort of battle! models... he’s tough, all right! why didn’t you say so? I’ve got just the droid! huh. Hang on a sec! You know, this stuff’s Ah! not half bad.

Here he is - and whaddya know, good enough. Nice this fella also seems to have doin’ business with you. survived a battle, aheh.... Come on, artoo.

You think this looks enough like ArtoO? I can’t believe Other than you drank my coffee.... being red? I guess so... I can’t ahehEh. believe what a wuss you’ve become.... Okay. So now we Uh - How about need to find someone Lando Calrissian? just like Lando Calrissian…

“isn’t Lando kind of BUSY these days?” “Busy doing WHAT? Redecorating CLOUD CiTY?”

Wow! I love these new windows! it really opens the place up!

Yeah - it sure does, Jax...

So, Lando - I don’t know, are you in? Han - I mean, I’ve got a Lot to do around here...

Like Are you kidding? it never ... and the contractors are due what? ends! I’m looking at paint back Thursday, so if we can get chips tomorrow - and the new fixtures delivered by You’ve the new carpets - then, I... I.... got these new sight it really lines... brings the room to life...

*sigh * ... Yeah, I’m in. Okay, so now we need ... And two kids who can pass for this Luke and Leia ... chick’s gotta be HOT.

I mean, whoever we You do realize pick has just got to be a pouty little MiNX.... that you’re talking about my WiFE. That’s true...

... She has just got to look unbelievably sexy in that little metal bikini…

... think we could get her to do it?

Well, it has been a few years since... No.

I mean - just - no. Besides, I’m thinking the “Starkiller Kid” and his girlfriend would be perfect as Luke and Leia…

Oo! Good idea!

“I’m sure Jimm and Merri would be up for it. “God, they must be They got married after that whole thing bored out of their SKULLS on Aduba-3....” by now.”

Then. Now.

Hey, kid! You forget to put I think it’s closer to five. Last time I saw you, we were herding on your PANTS again? - Herding ’em over Han! Jax! BOUNTY HUNTERS, as I recall- How long’s it been - four years? - Ha! - and Merri was all set to PoP. How’s she doing?

Uh ... Merri’s GONE, Jax. Aw, Jimm, She left me for one of that’s - those swoop-bikers. No, it’s Can you believe okay- I found that? someone else.

Took little EFFiE with her, too…. Oh, God - not I’ve MiSSED Dani. She’s a zeltron. Who? you, Luke! HER again… She had this thing for Luke....

Look, Dani- You missed me? Ten minutes too we didn’t bring I’ve only been LONG, you little away for 10 Luke... NEXU! Mmmph! minutes! Kiss me, luke!

“kiss me, Luke”? Yeah, she’s got a Uh... Dani? “thing,” all right. Jimm?

Oh, Hi, Han! Long time He’s cute! no see! Who’s your Dani, meet friend? Jaxxon.

And cuddly. Come on up to And the farmhouse! I’ll make some tea! SAUCY! Hey! I’m cuddly, too -

You know, She looks NOTHiNG Jimm, you DO realize that she’d look like Leia! For one thing, you’re mixed up with a ZELTRON, right? They’re all in a her skin’s BRIGHT hormones! GREAT Completely insane! metal bikini. MAGENTA! I know! So? We can get She keeps isn’t it around that! calling you great? “LUKE”!

Would YOU correct her?

I wouldn’t. Thank you! ... you want us to help you steal a So... “force crystal” from a CRiME LORD?

FORMER crime lord.

Actually, a former crime lord’s SECRETARY.

Sounds Who’s in We’re still on it? building the What about Skywalker? like fun! team. Right now, it we’re looking DOES? to hire a Jedi Knight. Too busy. And WAY too morally inflexible.

Katarn? Whatever. hey - Wait. What what about about that “The kid”? The master old guy? Well, he’s morally of the double- flexible, all right- Don-Wan bladed light- Kihotay? but he’s off solving saber? the “mysteries of the .” He’s dead.

He’s famous now- we can’t afford his appearance fee...... Some bounty … Did you say “Don-Wan Honey, hunter blew up the Kihotay”? that crazy guy? he’s dead. No - He’s old-folks’ home the one who helped you fight that lizard that shot staying at a rest he was home on Stenax! laser beams out of stayin’ in. I know the guys Wait a its head? running it! sec… uh, yeah...

He’s not Honey... dead!

... I fought the bounty hunter who DON’T EVER KILLED him. He’s dead. CALL ME You’re CONFUSED. STUPiD!

confused?

LET’S GO to You and Leia stenax right used to be now! PACK YOUR like this, BAGS, LUKE! didn’t you?

Medic! So o n ...

Wait, han - that’s...

Mind if we just pop in for a I need someone to sec? stand in for C-3PO…. Um, why? Oh, God... You’re not thinking of hiring MASTER-COM, are you?

You Yeah, …. and he’s know I know gonna be with him? him…. that jackass GREYSHADE. What are you TALKiNG about? Simon “Fabulous” Greyshade’s a ??? Gronk? fabulous guy!

“The esteemed Senator “...all because he Greyshade rigged a had the hots gladiator match for Leia!” so I’d lose...” “Gronk!”

… He’s like all of Lando's worst qualities wrapped up in a big grey booshy mustache! Hey! ... but the Oh, yeah - Uh, Han, I situation’s Master-Com and don’t know a little … Greyshade what happened DiFFERENT are total between these sweethearts you two... days… now!

“When Rebel spies crashed on The “Master-Com’s shocking admission Wheel, Master-Com was MOVED by fueled the iNTOLERANCE the LOVE between the Rebel droids of the imperial BiGOTS!” and their masters!” Obscene…! A At least we CUT MACHINE believing iT DOWN before it is unmachine-like, it felt friendship it could aid but… I wish I had such for an that traitor, a relationship, ORGANiC! GREYSHADE. sir….

If ever I had a human FRiEND, I would like it to be YOU, Senator Greyshade. From issue From issue 21. - Archie. 23 - Archie.

, Master-Com. “But Master-Com’s FRiENDSHiP SORRY I’m afraid I come was stronger than any to this business - and it inspired Greyshade to a bit late. help the Rebels ESCAPE!”

if one must die … it’s good to have the company of a FRIEND. Also from issue 23. - Archie. … I was the “Rebel … And spy” in that they’ve been story... Gronk. iNSEPaRABLE ever Uh, ... and that’s not SiNCE! Dani... how it was at ALL! Where’d you hear this Poodoo?

I read their book!

Hey, so did I!

Their Of COURSE their book! BOOK? Greyshade and Master-Com are famous magicians now! Where have you been, Han?

Saving the galaxy, DANi!

Actually, I have a copy Oh. on board! My cell-mate Would you stole it from the like me to prison library as autograph a going-away that, Han? present!

Are you referring to No thanks. I’ve that time I tried to already seen your steal your wife from act, SiMON. that kid who turned out to be her brother?

No - I was Well, I believe you’re no referring more to longer interested in the part where you Oh, Han! stealing women, tried to have me That’s the simon... KiLLED. OLD Simon Greyshade! I’m a changed man! He most certainly is! ... But are you interested in stealing the Kaiburr Crystal? The kaiburr Whaddya say, ... for one crystal? Master-Com? last con? Wanna take a The biggest break from in The score in the showbiz... expanded what? Oh, “A break from never mind... universe! showbiz”?

How can you take a break from From From our your life, OUR beautiful, Simon? life? endangered white Nexus?

You DO love our white You could think of nexus, don’t you, simon? it as a vacation, I never took a Master-com…. vacation when we were building YOUR career as Wheel er- of Administrator, course, SiMON! but... Well - what if we You know - consider it a very You’d get to the little gold special command dress up as suit? With the performance? For C-3PO. bare midriff? a very discriminating audience?

I hear there’s a um... we might I’m sorry, boys, traveling exhibit find some but his positronic of queen amidala’s white mind’s made up. outfits on banthas ? We’re not tatooine... going anywhere.

Well, Simon, thank you for And the that colossal and for gronk! plush waste of time. and the signing and Nexu! T-shirt! my cape! my chest! Now, Han, don’t go away these tickets are I’ve got a feeling mad... come see the show! good for whenever we’ll be doing it starts in half an hour! you want to this show for a use them.... long time!

thirty-four minutes later.... Aaahhh! get it off him!

is he now don’t make how soon We’re taking Misty gonna oh, he’ll any sudden nodding can we be...? with us! She’s been be ... motions, mr. leave? fine greyshade... traumatized!

it’s the ... your head is third time essentially held this year on with staples he’s been in at the moment... ‘mr. tanky’... it’s getting a little crowded in here, Jax...... how many more crooks do we have to pick up?

Just one more.

I ain’t If Dani isn’t lyin’! lying -

our last stop is …

…STENOS!

Put ’er down over there, by that rest home.

Man, I hope this Gronk! guy was worth the trip.

What’s that, Chewie? Chewie says his dad’s a Okay - resident here. Yeah? Weird. let’s split up...

... We’ll go find Chewie’s Dad. You find our next recruit. right. We’ll be in the head office …

… buttering up the You’ve got a lot administration. ONE MiNUTE FORTY-ONE of nerve coming SECONDS LATER ... here … after what YOU pulled! Lando, you remember Uh… What Oh, YOU Rik Duel and Chihdo. The did we third guy replaced me on their pull? know! crew - Dash Rendar.

DASH RENDAR?!

Dash! We thought That skyhook you blew up over went up and we … !

I’m sorry - who’s Dash I’m Rik. I have and who’s rik again? a goatee! Meanwhile, in the Wookie Ward ...

Now... We can have I exist in your a good time ... mind only... Can’t We?

So, uh … How’s the Food here, Uh... yeah.... itchy?

I am your I’ll tell you a fantasy. I am your secret. I find you pleasure. This is adorable... our moment in time.... Dani: Before we throw you out on your ass, you I'm sorry - I still wanna tell us why you have no idea what came crawling back? we pulled! Yeah, right! Well, we were HOPiNG we could borrow DON-WAN KiHOTAY for a few days….

Hey, You know what? All is Yeah. That thing forgiven. you pulled? We’re cool with it! Let’s go Hold on- We get him have to wait for now! our resident “pod-racer” to finish his lap...

HOW WAS YOUR PUDDiNG THiS MORNiNG, MR. SEBULBA?

Poodoo! So he used to do Okay, so there’s some paperwork to that in front of sign, and liability waivers for our - LUMPY? Yikes... I mean your - protection.... Oh, THERE you guys are!

Hey, Dash. I’m Rik. And I heard you he’s not. were dead. Huh.

So how was Don-wan I think we’ll be is right up Chewie's spending our share dad? here, in our of the loot special, um, on therapy. “Jedi Heroes” ward... You’ll want to wear Sign here and here ... aaand these. They inhibit his don’t forget durable Force powers. power of attorney.... Whatever.

You wanna double-team Sure. Didn't I just this? You knew spew a bunch of how to talk to him malarkey about the last time. “Knights of the Old Republic"? He’s all yours, boys...

Are you ready to uphold Ahem. SiR the Republic on another KNiGHT! holy mission for peace and justice and... stuff?

Meanwhile, on the You got ANY iDEA what nursing home's it takes to give one of back patio ... those guys his meds? Let me tell you...... They got me workin' the Jedi Spirit ward all week!

Roger Roger...

Roger?

My name? Valance. My occupation? Bounty hunter. The thing I hate most? Roger Droids. Rog-? My journey into this nurse's uniform has been a strange one...

I was once an imperial officer. A Rebel torpedo blew me half to hell...

Medical technology left me a cyborg- driving me mad with shame...

So long, ...so I blasted junk! every droid in sight and killed anyone who knew my secret...

See issue 16 - Archie. Droids and I hunted the humans don't droid-lover sacrifice Skywalker. But themselves for his protocol one another! robot's courage softened my rage...

issue 27 - Archie.

I was a changed man. That boy and his droid held out hope of a time when someone like me might not be a freak. On Antares, I battled fellow cyborg to defend my new ideals... issue 29 - Archie.

Today, I'm going to kill the last living patient from the hospital ...and the that made me a monster... robotic son of a bitch dropped me in a toxic lake.

So I'm back ...Don-Wan to blasting Kihotay! droids and anyone who knows my secret.

Simpler, really.

Han, relax - we're wearing Ysalamiri. They're Force- repellent. He can't hurt us.

That said, he can mess up the room May I pretty good. speak to you outside for a moment?

ow. You know, I don't remember him being quite that Force- sensitive back on That's Aduba... because he wasn't!

What the hell, nurse? You been puttin' midichlorians in Don-wan's applesauce? Can't risk blowing my cover! dammit, man - think fast!

uh... latent force powers sometimes Sure, emerge of their own why accord in dementia not. I hear patients as their that's what happened neural pathways to the demyelenate? emperor! Gotta find a way past these two Now chuckleheads into listen, don-wan's Jax... room...

... do you REALLY think it's a good idea to add a senile “Jedi Knight” to your heist team?

Honestly, I Don't see how it could hurt.

true. just let me go in But still. We need his gelatin dessert there a few minutes some way to calm calms him down! ahead of you and him down... he finds it very soothing! I'll make him nice and quiet! gelatin dessert!

no, we'll go in together. these things we're wearing make it a little safer in there...

fine! I'll just wheel Wait, han. in behind you with my let's play it lunch-cart full really safe... of ordinance and-

...Just bring in the dessert plate, nurse. Good idea! less junk for Don-wan let's do to fling around. this! keep up, nursemaid! ... Before we No problem. I know do this... are you well, my plan does call for fifteen ways to kill sure we need a little bit of controlled a man with a gelatin don-wan? chaos... You do the talking. dessert. You used to be able to get him to focus... I did? now, jax...

Don-Wan Kihotay! it You may recall is I, General Han Solo - my companion, the We bear news of Hero of , valiant Jaxxon! and Aduba-3! a new quest!

Hi! and I bear your dessert! Uh... Are you prepared to once again serve the Republic as a Jedi Knight?

Then you're not too old to fight? Yes! I... uh... can see that...

Then you will come with us to Tatooine?

excellent! we quest for an artifact of great power- the Kaiburr Crystal!

uh-oh...

wait- Huh. I'll That was say. weird.

I don't care. Why wasn't We've got a that nurse bigger wearing a problem... Ysalamir?

...him. Call me crazy, but I don't really like the his shingles idea of sharing a flare up, spaceship with he might open this guy. an airlock with his mind.

you've got Hold that eleven recruits, thought. two Ysalamiri, and a big fat problem. Ahem. solve this. Good sir Hm. knight!

For your service to the Wear it always! people of this planet, Until I tell you to you have been presented take it off. with this special... scarf of valor!

The green rabbit from Marvel “Star Wars” is back ... and he’s planning the biggest heist in galactic history!

Remember Jaxxon, the six-foot-tall green rabbit who fought alongside Han and Chewie in Marvel’s “Star Wars” comics? Well, he’s fresh out of prison ... and he’s looking for payback. Jaxxon has a plan: He wants to steal the legendary Kaiburr Crystal from Jabba’s Palace Hotel & Casino. Working with Han, he builds a heist team that includes Chewie, Lando and a rogue’s gallery of characters from Marvel’s “Star Wars” run — including Dani, Simon Greyshade, Master-Com, The Starkiller Kid, Don-Wan Kihotay and at least one guy named “Jabba the Hut.” Can this middle-aged pack of idiots pull off the ultimate score in the Expanded Universe — right under the nose of family-friendly casino mogul Bib Fortuna? This ashcan collects the first 68 pages of David Stroup and Mike Russell’s fan webcomic. “Jaxxon’s 11” is a salute to a by Mike Russell long time ago, when “Star Wars” comics were free to make up their universe as they went along — meaning that universe sometimes featured talking rabbits, men in breeches and lizards shooting laser beams out of their heads. & David Stroup

www.jaxxons11.com