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5LUFEJD+ R\ RRR IROIJI EMJ RFU LSER EMJ GFFP URFPJE RI MJU OJFSD- @D ZJ RFIJ RXU ZF\ McClure 19 from attraction to attraction, she'd smile and ask, "Where to next?" The map stayed tucked in her back pocket for the rest of the day.
Promenade Circle
In 2003, my brother broke the news to my mom, sister, and me, while simultaneously breaking my mom's heart: he no longer wanted to live with us. He told my mom that he didn't want to live in a house full of girls and moved into my dad's house tucked back in the corner of a cul-de-sac on Promenade Circle. I understood, and quite frankly, I was glad he wanted to move out. My sister and I had been sharing a room since I was old enough to no longer need a crib so I was excited that at 13 I was finally going to have my own room. It was a win-win situation for the both of us.
Queue
Average wait-times for main attractions:
• Haunted Mansion: 10-17 minutes • Space Mountain: 32-39 minutes
• Indiana Jones: 32-36 minutes • Splash Mountain: 24-44 minutes
• Jungle Cruise: 9-10 minutes • Big Thunder Mountain: 17-21
• It's a Small World: 6-15 Minutes minutes
• Matterhorn: 25-32 minutes • Star Tours: 18-37 minutes
• Pirates of the Caribbean: 8-10
minutes McClure 20
After the divorce, my mom moved us out of Riverside and back to her hometown of Tustin, approximately 40 miles away via the 91 freeway. Every Friday, we would park in the shared parking lot of a CoCo's, Carl's Jr., and an Arco gas station at the Green
River exit off of the freeway. Green River, as determined by the court, was the mutual pick up and drop off spot for us when we visited my dad every other weekend.
Megan, Matt, and I had to be escorted between my parents' cars by a mediator once the three parties in the exchange were present. My parents had the ability to erupt into an argument just by looking at each other so the judge grounded them to their cars to prevent us all from the public embarrassment. One by one, we would exit the car and give my mom a kiss goodbye through the driver's side window like we were receiving Happy
Meals at the drive through window at McDonald's. Once the mediator shuffled us single file to my dad's car, we piled into the back seat to continue the drive to his house where we would spend the rest of the weekend. We drove west toward Riverside on the 91
Freeway, the freeway notorious for its ungodly traffic.
"91 Parking Lot is more like it," my dad always said.
Average drive time on the 91 freeway: 1.5 hours, one way
Rides and Attractions
There are 58 total rides and attractions at Disneyland. "Attractions" is a word used by Disney as a catch-all term for rides, shows, and exhibits.
I was attracted to the promise of leaving my family issues barred outside the gate without an admission ticket. Although my days spent at Disneyland were filled with exciting rides and memories, my family issues were always waiting for me when I left. I McClure 22
I was in the dark about my parents' divorce. They only let me know what they wanted me to know and everything else was none of my business. After a while I stopped caring. I didn't want to know what was going on. I wanted to be left in the dark about it.
Theatrical Terminology
Disneyland cast members use theatrical terminology to emphasize that a visit to the park is intended to be similar to witnessing a performance:
• "Guests" = visitors • "Audience"= crowd • "Cast Members"= Park • "Costume"= Uniform the cast
employees members who perform the day-
• "On stage"= Any area of the to-day operations of the park
resort open to guests. must wear.
• "Backstage"= Any area of the • When signing credit card receipts
resort closed to guests. for souvenirs or food, guests are
asked for their "autograph."
Ucayali Una
Ucayali Una is the name of one of the many tiki boats used on the Jungle Cruise.
The attraction simulates a riverboat cruise down several major rivers of Asia, Africa, and
South America. Disneyland guests are taken through the jungle past many different animatronic jungle animals including monkeys, zebras, hippos, and lions. McClure 23
Vanilla
The smell of vanilla is pumped through vents onto Main Street in order to tempt visitors into the candy and ice cream shops along the street. During the holidays, the scent is changed to peppermint. When my sister, brother, and I visited my dad for
Christmas, the scent of our holidays changed as we stepped into the house in which he cohabitated with my stepmother, Mary. Going to my dad's house meant we left my mom's house that smelled like pine needles and gingerbread-scented candles and stepped into a home where no amount of scented candles could mask the smell of cigarette smoke.
She always reeked of cigarettes. Even after she showered she still smelled like them. For the longest time I thought she smoked while in the shower because she never smelled of anything but smoke. The smell clung to her and everything in the house. The worst was when she smoked in the car. Each drive seemed like an eternity because we couldn't escape the smoke, even when all the windows were down. My dad and stepmom never knew but before each car ride, no matter how short, Megan, Mathew, and I always played a quick game of rock paper scissors to determine who would be the unlucky loser who did not get a window seat.
During one of my dad's weekends, we drove down to Anaheim for our
Disneyland trip. When the time came for us to pile into the car to begin our hour-long drive, Megan, Matt, and I each held out one of our hands. Rock, paper, scissors. Matt and
I both threw rock but Megan threw paper, which landed her in the middle, windowless seat. She practically had me pinned up against the door she was trying so hard to get as close to the fresh air as possible. I'm pretty sure we looked like redheaded dogs with our McClure 24 heads hanging out the windows gasping for the air that had not been tainted by her smoky toxins.
Oh, how I wished she could have smelled like vanilla.
Walt Disney
Walter Elias "Walt" Disney was born on December 5, 1901, in Hermosa, Illinois.
He and his brother Roy co-founded Walt Disney Productions. Disney was an innovative animator and created the cartoon character Mickey Mouse, the first sound cartoon, the first all-color cartoon, and the first animated feature length motion picture. He died on
December 15, 1966, at the age of 65 of lung cancer.
Xmas
From mid-November through the beginning of January, Disneyland is decorated with lights, ornaments, tinsel, holly, garland, fake snow, and of course, a Christmas tree.
In the center of Town Square during every Christmas season, there is a 60 foot tall
Christmas tree with every limb decorated.
My Christmases after the divorce were split between each parent. This meant we decorated two trees, had two Christmas dinners, emptied two stockings, and opened two sets of presents. The court decided my siblings and I would spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas day with the other. We alternated which parent we spent
Christmas day with each year to keep things fair. It wasn't fair, though. Not to us. It wasn't fair that we had to sit in the holiday traffic on the 91 freeway. It wasn't fair that we couldn't spend equal time with each parent. They tried to act like the two Christmases McClure 25 we had each year were the silver lining of the situation, but what we really wanted was one Christmas with one family.
Even now my siblings and I still split our holiday time between parents. After all these years it wouldn't be the holidays without spending a few hours stuck in traffic on the 91 freeway.
Young, Dolly 1984
There have been only 10 deaths in the history of Disneyland. Dolly Young, age
48, from Fremont, California died in the middle of her ride on the Matterhorn Bobsleds.
About two thirds of the way down the ride, Young was thrown from her seat into the path of an oncoming bobsled. Her head and chest were pinned underneath the bobsled's wheels. An examination of Young's sled revealed that her seatbelt was not fastened at the time of the accident, but because she was riding along at the back of the cart, no one could confirm if she deliberately undid the seatbelt.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" is a song from the Disney 1946 live action and animated movie Song of the South. The song is played during the finale of the popular Disney theme park ride Splash Mountain.
Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-A-Dee-Ay My oh my what a wonderful day Plenty of sunshine headed my way Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-A-Dee-Ay McClure 26
Every day I have spent at Disneyland has been a "wonderful day." What may have started out as trips to take my mind off of the divorce developed a deep love for the place that promised magical memories. It seemed to me that the times I spent at
Disneyland are infinitely precious and worth remembering. Even now, after my parents' divorce is long since over, I still return to Disneyland to enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that attracted me as a kid. The sights of Disneyland have become familiar to me, its impossible grandeur clearly visible in my mind without needing to be in California.
Fade proof paint, the smell of fresh popcorn, and the hum of a Disney crowd create a feeling of nostalgia that is unshatterable and forever preserved inside the park. But these triggers don't forcefully bring back unwanted memories of my childhood; they bring back wonderful memories of managing to grow up in a place that reaches out to the inner child in every person. I came to escape but I learned that no matter how hard you try, you cannot escape forever.
I've learned now that my parents didn't intend to hurt other people when they got divorced. While I was busy distracting myself at Disneyland, I didn't think of the other people who felt the pain as a result of their divorce, whether we were hurt intentionally, accidentally, deservedly, or unfairly. Megan, Matt, my mom, her mom, my dad, his parents, me. Our extended families and close friends. We were all hurt in our own ways. I wondered then how much of what was broken could be fixed, if anyone could be healed or even comforted. For me, I chose to bury my hurting in a childish manner that suited my age. I needed Disneyland to distract me from the pain of the day-to-day reminders that my family was broken. And it worked. Although my family could never be McClure 27 completely repaired, I needed Disneyland to give me the hope that our wounds would someday heal.
Disneyland will forever be a place of familiarity, safety, and fun. At Disneyland, everything is okay. At Disneyland, you are guaranteed a zip-a-dee-doo-dah wonderful day. At Disneyland, I am home. McClure 28
Craft Analysis
The original draft of this contemplative essay was written in May of 2013 for my
Creative Nonfiction writing course with Dr. Parker. The final draft I submitted was only
15 pages and, despite my efforts, was more focused on Disneyland facts rather than dissecting my relationship with the park. When I revisited the paper almost one year later with fresh eyes, I was able to see how the paper was lacking the personal reflection that is so closely tied to nonfiction writing. Nonfiction writing, as Scott Russell Sanders claims in the introduction of the Touchstone Anthology of Contemporary Creative Nonfiction, may not be inspired by the desire to create a new story, "but to record and examine something the writer has actually witnessed, lived through, learned about, or pondered"
(XV). Adding internal contemplation then became my main focus for revising the paper and transforming it into my thesis. After further examination of my experiences at
Disneyland, I uncovered additional connections to my parents' divorce that I had not noticed before. As Bill Roorbach discusses in Writing Life Stories, "The juiciest metaphors, the most fitting symbols, the largest meaning, the universal threads arrive most often entirely on their own" (175). The more I was able to tie in my memories and reflection, the more I witnessed the other juicy metaphors and symbols appear.
Referencing chapter four in Michael Kardos' The Art and Craft of Fiction helped me to develop the themes of the essay. In the chapter, Kardos explains: "Stories ...are the narratives of particular people in particular situations. Themes derive from these narratives, not the other way around" (63). As my writing process continued for the thesis project, one of the themes that surfaced was the theme of nostalgia. My research of
Disneyland uncovered that the longing to relive and preserve the past, no matter how McClure 29 ugly or unpleasant the memories may be, was at the core of the park's development. The theme of nostalgia became the most apparent in the "Frontierland" and "Main Street,
U.S.A." sections of the essay. The desire of Walt Disney to create a place that preserved the developments of our predecessors throughout the park, especially in Frontierland and
Main Street, brought the idea of nostalgia to the forefront. Disney's creation of the background story for Big Thunder Mountain in particular was a great example of how we attempt to rewrite history to smooth out the unpleasant moments in our pasts. The ghosts of Big Thunder Mountain serve as a powerful metaphor for the difficult memories we all have lurking in our personal histories. Throughout the project, I attempted to analyze the ghost of my parents' divorce that haunted my family while simultaneously showing the longing I had for the brief time my family was whole. It took multiple revisions for me to add the necessary nostalgia commentary to other sections in order to ensure the theme was significant.
There were some drastic changes made between the rough draft I submitted and the final draft. Some of the section topics were completely changed because I struggled with making a coherent personal connection. For example, the letter "D" was
"Disneyland Dad" in my first draft. The section started out discussing how my dad was referred to as a Disneyland Dad by my mom but quickly changed directions and focused primarily on my mom. Since it did not seem logical to have a section dedicated to
Disneyland dads that mainly discussed my mom, I decided to abandon the topic altogether. Rather than attempting to rework the section to be about my dad, I changed the section topic entirely and used it to introduce another character in the story. My stepmom was only mentioned in passing, if at all, in the first draft. For this section, I McClure 30 chose an evil Disney character to draw a comparison between the well-know character,
Cruella de Vil, and my stepmom. I compared their characteristics and smoking habits to help describe Mary. Similar to the way Dinty Moore used T.V. dads to discuss his relationship with his father in his essay "Son of Mr. Green Jeans," I thought using a specific Disney character was a clever way to introduce another character in the story of my parents' divorce.
Likewise, the "B" section that was written initially was particularly useless as all I did was discuss how tasty the bread bowls are without making any real connection to my family or my parents' divorce. While they are definitely delicious, I knew I needed to include a scene and background information in order to support the essay. Instead, I found a statistic about the amount of food sold at Disneyland annually and used the section to introduce my mom into the essay. I still managed to discuss the bread bowls but in a much more meaningful way. In the new paragraph, I was able to incorporate a specific time in which I enjoyed a bread bowl with my mom that allowed me to develop her character and briefly describe the physical toll the divorce was taking on her.
Changing the topics of these two sections helped them serve a more functional purpose in the essay.
One of the major obstacles for me in this essay was the formatting within each segment. In each section I introduced the subject and in the following paragraph would be the personal reflection. It was a pattern of Disneyland facts, personal connection,
Disneyland facts, personal connection. It was difficult to come up with ways to introduce the personal connection first while maintaining clarity. There were only a few segments in which I started off with an anecdote prior to discussing its connection to Disneyland. McClure 31
The "Lost and Found" section in particular turned out to be one of my most successful. In this section, I managed to sandwich the Disney facts in between one anecdote and a small section of reflection. The majority of my sections follow the Disney first, reflection second pattern, however, I felt that was the most logical way to understand how and why
I made the personal connections.
The overall formatting of this contemplative essay was modeled after Dinty
Moore's "Son of Mr. Green Jeans." In his essay, Moore used an ABC format to allow himself the freedom to jump around from topic to topic whilst sticking to his theme of fatherhood. Moore utilizes a nonlinear structure by breaking the essay up into small modules and then alphabetizing them by title. I think that using the ABC format gave
Moore the freedom to explore multiple angles on the same topic while simultaneously exploring what it means for him to be a father. By mimicking the alphabetical format for my own contemplative essay, I was able to reminisce about my trips to Disneyland, share little known facts about the park, and explore the connections between the divorce, escapism, and nostalgia. Had I used a more formal essay format, my ability to use multiple different Disney topics would have been limited. I also enjoyed how each of his sections varied in length and did not all contain contemplation. Like Moore's "T" section only contained one sentence: "Leave it to Beaver was the first television program to show a toilet" (394). It offered a nice change of pace for the essay without taking focus away from the overall essay. Although all of my sections were more than one sentence, they did vary in length and not all contained a scene or reflection. In a few sections I chose to display the Disney facts as bullet points in order to make the sections seem less bulky. McClure 32
Another area in which I struggled was inserting flash scenes, rather than
summaries, into the essay. In the proposal for the thesis, I mentioned I was planning to
use a lot of flash scenes throughout the essay to amplify the personal aspect of the essay.
However, I only ended up using a few scenes and much more summary than I
anticipated. I felt that with each scene I added, the brevity that I enjoyed about the ABC
format diminished. Each section doubled in size and some even stretched over multiple
pages. When the sections started to seem a little long-winded, I decided to shorten them
to have each one vary in length. I removed one scene entirely from the "Frontierland"
section. Initially, I included a brief story about getting a splinter while waiting in line for
Thunder Mountain with my dad. However, I felt that adding reflection to make a deeper
connection with the fictional story of Big Thunder Mountain was more important. My
goal with the reflection was to highlight how my family had its ghosts but the divorce
was not something currently an issue. I wanted to highlight how we have come to accept
the divorce as a part of our past and have moved on from it.
Condensing the amount of research that went into the paper was also one of my
main focuses while changing the essay into my thesis project. As Sanders mentions, there is a "necessity of choosing from the myriad of possible details those that are essentially to the story and leaving out the rest" (XVI). It was difficult to weed through all of the
Disney facts I thought were interesting and find personal anecdotes that would coincide with the facts. Similarly, when it came to telling the story of the divorce, there was so much I had to leave out because it would have complicated the essay and made it hard to follow. I tried to cut down the extra details of the divorce in order to keep that portion of my essay simple. During the revisions, I removed the bits of information that were McClure 33 weighing down the segments and taking up space where the personal reflection should have been. In other words I wanted to make the information relevant while still ' managing to keep the reader interested. The revisions that took place throughout my writing process helped to transform a decent paper into my Directed Writing Project. McClure 34
Works Cited
Kardos, Michael. The Art and Craft of Fiction: A Writer's Guide. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martin's, 2013. Print.
Lefkon, Wendy. Birnbaum's Disneyland Resort: Expert Advice from the inside Source.
New York, NY: Disney Editions, 2003. Print.
Moore, Dinty W. The Rose Metal Press Field Guide to Writing Flash Nonfiction: Advice
and Essential Exercises from Respected Writers, Editors, and Teachers.
Brookline, MA: Rose Metal, 2012. Print.
Moore, Dinty W. "Son of Mr. Green Jeans." Touchstone Anthology of Contemporary
Creative Nonfiction: Work from 1970 to the Present. New York: Simon &
Schuster, 2007. Print.
Roorbach, Bill, and Kristen Keckler. Writing Life Stories: How to Make Memories into
Memoirs, Ideas into Essays, and Life into Literature. Cincinnati, OH: Writer's
Digest, 2008.
Sanders, Scott Russell. "Introduction." Touchstone Anthology of Contemporary Creative
Nonfiction: Work from 1970 to the Present. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007.
Print.
White, E. B. Once More to the Lake. Essays of E.B White. New York: Harper & Row,
1977. 197-202. Print.
Williford, Lex, and Michael Martone. Touchstone Anthology of Contemporary Creative
Nonfiction: Work from 1970 to the Present. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007.
Print. Katherine J. McClure 4008 St. Andrews Circle, Apt. 2B Cell: (714) 417-5885 Mishawaka, IN 46545 [email protected]
EDUCATION Indiana University, South Bend, IN May 2014 Master of Arts, English GPA: 3.58 Concentration: Creative Writing Thesis: On Disneyland: From Lost to Found at the Happiest Place on Earth
Holy Cross College, Notre Dame, IN May 2012 Bachelor of Arts, English GPA: 3.6 Minors: Communication & Global Perspective with High Honors
EXPERIENCE Volunteer June 2011 Fe y Alegria Canto Grande, Peru • Assisted as a teacher's aide in classes in grade levels Pre-K to high school for two weeks, assisted in the special needs classes, and helped translate instructions given in Spanish to other volunteers.
COURSES TAKEN Fall 2012 ENG-L 501 PROFESSIONAL SCHOLARSHIP IN LIT ENG-L 680 SPECIAL TOPICS-LIT STDY & THRY: FILM AND GENRE
Spring 2013 ENG-G 660 STYLISTICS ENG-W 615 WRITING CREATIVE NONFICTION
Summer 2013 ENG-W 511 WRITING FICTION
Fall 2013 ENG-L 502 CONTEXTS FOR STUDY OF WRITING ENG-W 513 WRITING POETRY
Spring 2014 ENG-L 680 SPECIAL TOPICS-LIT STDY & THRY: 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN POETRY