WITHIN WITHOUT *THIS s body stret lgonmyseat *ANY SENSE It a word was *THAT everyone felt coach, Nonn WHATSOEVER 1st two years mnt ;ketball... We to play in the Wake Farce University, Baptist Hollow, North Carolina, April Fool's, 1974 1ches, State's wn his face. to knowhow mtire crowd. minds were Wew Dorm' To· Get Prof's Name the hospital the coliseum By HELLISH TYRANT Coordinator Cheri Woford. meeting was asked to make a 1een wired it Chief The selection of the dorm's Saturday night, mandatory selves a part of the university. secret ballot vote for the dorm's pledge of allegiance daily, and 1 week. name came after a lengthy name. mandatory duplicate bridge in "Especially the Saturday night l coliseum (I The "new donnitory" was debate in a deans' top top top The results, however, were as baths," he added. He said those ranee before named this week and will secret meeting, during which it the lounge Sundays. follows: one vote for "Mark Cage said he expects faculty who would not attend without he game one hereafter be known as "The was discovered that the only Reece dormitory," one vote for administrative pressure were ~ their necks Cage," according to President person donating enough money to members to attend the Cage "Leake Hall," one for "Hassel events because they feel them- "basket cases." ~body in the James Ralph Scales. the university, proportionally, to House," one for "Dyer Hence. When The dormitory will be named have a dorm named after her was Situation," and one for "Hale, . thinking the after Dr. Willian1 Cage as a Student Government President Hale, the.gang's all here." one section consolation for the failure of the Bunz Daniels. At this point in the meeting the LUCBS To Appeal ~h the game, faculty to approve mandatory "For goodness sake, how possibility of naming the dorm convocation. studenty," Dean of Women Lu "The Cage" was brought up. 13,000 people "We will let him start by Leake commented. The deans voted to allow Dr. iown. As one unifying the new dorm and work It was decided that "Bunz Cage to administrate the dorm, .U.S. Constitution Coming had his way up to the rest," Scales Dormitory" would not be a and they agreed to enforce However, since the circuit 1ly this time siad. satisfactory name for the dorm, mandatory laundry on Thursday By DEBORAH BITCHESOME court legally overruled the ;tate players "Hey, yeah!" added WRC and ~ach person present at the afternoon, mandatory baths on Sun-Burned Editor district court, Lucas said he :y just joined would "take it all the way to the tme to begin Leon Lucas announced plans top." He said, "I don't think the today to appeal to the United American people .have the ,•re Number Faculty· Dumps Oasses States Supreme Court for a ruling available information to make te that I too - on his most recent charge-the such a decision. It's up to the ne- chanted unconstitutionality of the U.S. Court to abolish (this) rerwas,and By REDSY HAWPIN stituting the change by next -Going to the no academic Constitution. document." Water tower blasts off with aliens abroad. Mangy Editor semester. "At first the com system would add hours to A circuit court of appeals ruled Lucas said he "first realized inutes later, mitte·e had considered moving to faculty leisure time and provide a last week that Lucas's argument the Constitution was un mght turned Wake Forest's faculty voted the new system for the rest of more relaxed situation for them. was invalid, overturning a constitutional" when he saw the feet Thomp overwhelmingly last night to this semester," he said, "but -some other schools don't use a previous federal district court play "1776." In "1776", when the >uld his play discontinue the academic decided since it was too late to two-semester system. decision which supported Lucas Constitution was written, t? Obviously calendar after this semester in a start any experiment or paper -In response to questionnaires and abolished the Constitution. ratification required three psfromnow Water. Tower Blasts Off move which is hoped to help before summer they might as Lucas himself appealed the fourths of the states' approvals. the faculty felt courses were less ~r he will be booster admission applications. well wait. demanding on students (they did original decision after he won At that time only nine of the 13 t the fall did Wake Forest's water tower reporters before the takEHJff that "Betcha we fooled you, ha ha!" In a meeting with far better "However, they did decide to not say than what). saying, "The federal district states were needed to institute eckless than blasted off at noon Wednesday, the tower was actually a space he added, stepping onto the attendance than faculty meetings devote the rest of this semester to -No calendar would provide a court had no jurisdiction over the the new government. Lucas 1ever should carrying men's residence ship from Jupiter, and that he tower's edge. usually have-thirteen faculty setting up the new system." vacation at Christmas "not so Constitution. I don't care whether argued that now there are 50 lson against counsellors Bill Raizor and Fred and Linkenhoker were really members and administrators Mullen said he is not sure how long as to interrupt the thoughts the document is abolished or not; states, 38 must approve the aliens.· "Tell President Scales I know Linkenhoker to lands beyond. his heart," Linkenhoker mum were therEHJpinions both for and students will react to the new of students and teachers who are I just think it's up to the Constitution. ll!Jd: spring Two Theta Chis painting the "Nobody could figure out what against the discontinuation were plan, but several committee engaged in continuing activity in American people to decide." He further stated that tower at the time landed in the bled. "I am tired of fighting: The 1 divert our two guys like us were doing heard. The new curriculum study members questioned said student sequence." When the circuit court of ap "everything that has been done bushes and are reported in great . gt·ass is all dead. The football here," Raizor said, "but we came team acts dead. We are cold and committee recommended the opinion had been considered. --An academic calendar peals decided that the Con under the Constitution since the condition at a Winston-salem to observe the mating habits of pIan . · "We explained the proposal we requires more work by the stitution was indeed con addition of the fourteenth state hospital. we have no blankets." Southern Baptists, and they told "It's just simply time to move "I was quite pleased with the supported on our midterm facultv. stitutional, Lucas said, "We must be revoked." He said there , Raizor explained to Old Gold us this was the place to come." on," Raizor said, adding that his amount of discussion," said Dr. exams," said Dr. G.P. Williams -Course~ could be offered by should stick with the federal were "a few foreseeable assignment at Wake Forest had Robert Brehme, who is chairman of the physics department in .a correspondence for the student district court decision because, problems" with this plan, but • of the committee. "We talked for typed letter to the newspaper who insists on. bucking the as a lower court, it is closer to the "overall the principle is worth a ·tunity. turned out to be a bit boring, and people." he was off . in search of ex three and a half minutes before office. "We told students that all system. little trouble." 'Smack' ·Editor citement elsewhere. "Guilford, calling for a vote." those favoring the proposal would 1an maybe." Brehme spoke both for and be allow!ld to grade their own Asked if he or the water tower against the proposal in order to exams. The results over Cookied To. Death might return to Wake Forest, "show the committee considered whelmingly supported the Raizor replied, "ha ha." all aspects of the situation,· " he committee's plan." Helen Tyree, editor of Old issue a public apology for this explained. Also speaking against Brehme said he was pleased at of its Scold and Smack, was knocked . illegal editor." · the proposal was a maintenance this show of student interest. in must into a huge vat of warm milk by a Another brother, David Graduation man who was cleaning the room their education since "the pur show chocolate chip cookie Tuesday . McCombs, added that his in at the time(the meeting was held pose of education i~ ·to give the and killed. dignation was growing. iii the chemistry library .;t 2 student an awarenss of his nefits Thirty Sigma Chis are being Sigma Chi President David a.m.) This man, whose name was heritage and to enable him to live r and held by Student Judicial Board in Hughes said the intention of the not released, cast the . only morP. content w!th ~elf in the connection with the slaying. five "is not that of redeeming the dissenting vote. knowledge of h1s hentage. . An eyewitness told campus Sigma Chi Fraternity but rather In speaking for the committee . "And what better way to do th1s an police that Ms. Tyree was on her that of questioning the integrity report, Brehme called classes an than by ~!lowing the faculty way to Wait Chapel to do some of the attitudes and procedures of "unaffordable diversion" from members time to work on areas )Ur serious waiting when five Sigma the newspaper's editor. We're the real purpose of an th.at ii~terest them," he added. :'It Chis jumped out of the bushes, mad." educational institution which he WJ!l giVe the students somethmg fith one carrying a vat of milk and The Sigma Chis said the explained was to allo~ time for to look on with pride. The two four carrying a chocolate chip newspaper editor was milk and faculty members to research and semester system is too deman- .cookie. cookied to death because of "a produce published material. ding on th~ facul~y." The witness said the four matter of principle." Another faculty member said Dr. _Davrd Smiley, who .also n pay Sigma Chis proceeded to bop Ms. "Yeah, she talks too much," that while he knew some students spoke m favor of the committee con Tyree with the cookie until she . one said. enjoyed classes and that he did report, said he did not feel the fell headlong into the milk vat Ms. Tyree is survived by the also classes lacked "academic two-semester system was your vigo~" adequate training for the led. and drowned. rest of the staff. Hee hee bee. "We believe her to be both ***************•****** De~n of the College Thomas students' future. "How is it going ethically and constitutionally Mullen, who was not present at to look wh~n you get ready to poor," Bill Wells, one of the five, Trial the meeting, said he knew about apply for a JOb when they see on said at the time. , the meeting but thought it was to your record that you spent the Wells then told a reporter on Some student was convicted by be next Thursday at 2 a.m. He . !?st four years in class," he said. the scene not to report the in Student Judicial Board this week said he had mixed feelings about !Jle studen~s shoul~, prepare cident. "Let sleeping dogs lie," of offending the university in the decision but that he was sure hunself for hts futur~. he said. "I believe that you and some way and was expelled from the committee would work hard . The ~ecoJ!Uilendahon for t~e the university. at making the new system work. dtscontmuabon of the academtc the Old Gold and ~lack should · College administrators warned Mullen said he doesn't forsee calendar included the following feel it to be your ·moral duty to that nobody else better do that. any great complications in in- arguments: *********************** President James Ralph Scales rode a dryer for 700 revolutions to break Phred's open-door record. The President then proceeded to roll home for a nice, long rest. .I..******************************************************************~ . :~ By DAVE'S LITI'LE BROmER simple life forms might survive odors, poor ventilation, Stuff Writer ditions. Molds and mildews also Scales suggested that Taylor but nothing other than that." unaesthetic surroundings, and seem well adapted to the Taylor might be colonized to meet the Many students can still recall irregular janitorial service. This, environment." growing needs of the university. ! Scales Sets Drying Record i Rumors aboun.ded last week according to Sullivan, "would amid speculation ·by local the tragedy of last year when 300 • •~ '' students were mistakenly inhibit and eventually destroy . scientists that intelllgent life any intelligence that might exist Spurred on by renewed interest Coach Chuck Mills was • * might exist in Taylor Dormitory. assigned to live in Taylor Donn. A new record for dryer riding kind of rapport with the 100 escaped, returning with there." in Taylor Dorm, University especially excited by the behind the ears," Scales said. Sparking the latest round of President James Ralph Scales prospect of colonization. "We've was set Tuesday night by administration we've been controversy was a report by Dr. numerous physical and mental President James Ralph Scales, looking for," White said, putting "Wake Forest University needs injuries, but the fate of the promised in his State of the been after New Dorm for our to consider that students have Ralph Amen of the Biology Yet a series of experiments in Campus Address to have a man who made 700 revolutions in a in another dime for Scales. remaining 200 is today unknown. · which the climate and terrain of football players for a long time,'' new dorm dryer, open-door style. different types of talents. Some Department that evidence ac in Taylor by the end of the he said. "If Taylor really is "Student Government's talents lie in dryer riding. We cumulated .in the past year in Some students claim to have seen Taylor were simulated in ''It cost me a lot of dimes, but it problems have been solved here their ghosts partying and decade, and some sort of coed habitable, we could transfer the must consider these students. dicates that life forms of a high terrariums revealed that some arrangement by the end of the was worth it," Scales said. tonight in a dryer." studying in the lonely halls of creatures, especially roaches and New Dorm residents to Taylor Some twenty administrators Knox, have you got another level, perhaps even humans, may Taylor. century. Asked what practical and have New Dorm for the White stayed after the party to dime?" inhabit the mysterious and rats, thrive under those con- use the dormitory might serve, team."· gathered in the dorm's laundry draft a resolution endorsing forbidding dormitory. But Amen remains stubborn in room for the drying party dryer riding, beer, and Dr. defense of his theory that in Tuesday, which was combined Scales. Administrators frolicked about Amen said that "various the new dorm for several hours paraphenelia discovered on the telligent life does inhabit Taylor. with a beer blast celebrating "This is a vei:y important "Only last year," he recalled, during the beer blast (see grounds surrounding. Taylor Dean Caught Streaking, Dean of Women Lu Leake's resolution because it makes pictures p. 8). House seem the handiwork of a ''we thought nothing at all could streak (see related story this Student Government a viable survive such an environment. page). creative intelligence." He force of influence," White said. Several KA's are reported to described many of the artifacts Sullivan argued that the en Knox White and Btmz Daniels "This drying party has made vironmental features of Taylor have been offended by the as resembling beer cans, Admits Communist Plot attended the party as student me see that students may be incident and are attempting to cigarette butts and bottles. make it absolutely uninhabitable. representatives. "This is just the immature, but they're not wet close the laundry room. Most astonishing of all, ac Most detrimental to any form By BYE was directed to enforce such Heece. cording to Amen, is a curious of life is the unaccountable and stringent rules on Wake Forest "I understand why they did it, green pillar erected in the middle unpredictable changes in tem Dean of Women Lu Leake women that they would react by "Ms. Leake said of those who of the yard of the dorm. He perature which characterize admitted this week that she has becoming viol~ntly, radically turned her in. "This sort of thing Taylor's climate. Dr. Robert been in league with the U.S.S.R. WF Administrators theorized that the structure liberal. is bad for the university. They might serve as a monument or Brehme of the Physics Depart in an attempt to liberalize and just can't have people running primitive religious symbol. "The ment recently completed a thus corrupt American students. "l don't know where I went around nude; it's bad for their phallic shape of the pillar," he meteorological study of the dorm Her announcement came after wrong," she sobbed. image 1. I'MiE T\\'0 Friday, April 5, OLD GOLD AND SMACK Hymn Books Stolen Turnstiles Installed In Chapel year and lhat he '"Will burn in the By CRAZY HORSE of Fell ..l. Emma mnttPred, "I'll Kentucky was studying during Hoy a Hoy a Editor everlasting flames before get you for :hs, rarr.'' before the delivery of his "Apologetics will come trom the Women's another willleave'this holy place surrending the B1L:t:. of Existential Eschatological Missionary Union, who voted to El('rtriralh· :l1::rn1ed turnstiles without either my permission or Theology" sermon, when he cancel their annual "Bibles and the Lord's." Emma wa~ in kindergal1 en at v11lued at $2000 were installed at the time of publication and could heard a loud crash. Carr said he Bikini Weekend" at Myrtle ... Carr said he had two main ... : ·:· T:.' ,<_·· all entrance~ to Wait Chapel last not be reached for comment. Her turned around to see Kentucky Beach to donate the money. effo1t the suspects in the case of the lost lying asleep on the floor. M~. !rna Wright Jus, president -;' week in an by WF Sunday school teacher said, '· ... , . Baptist Church tu cut down on the and wandering hymn books. The however, that Emma had Carr later learned from an of the WMU, said, "I know there . . .. ·• nun1ber of hymn books being first is Emma Cent, who bears usher, "Today" Beale, that will be some -·long-faced .:· "memorized an incredible ~ : '.-.. taken from the sanctuary. the Bible in the processional of number of songs in the past few Kentucky was studying for a test lifeguards when they hear we're the Sunday morning service. not coming, but maybe we all ~-, .. Hev. Warren C11rr, pastor of weeks." the following d11:v and was "very Ml_ .. . ..,•. the church, said that over one According to Carr, he ac James Kentucky, a student upset" with Carr for putting him need to spend a little more time hundred hvmnals had been lost or cidently slammed the Bible shut member of the choir, is also to sleep. with our husbands." (The Board stolen since the beginning of the on Emma's fingers on the Sunday suspected by Carr. Carr said Hev. Hobert Bailey, assistant nt DPacons reportedly voiced strong opposition to the can ¥·· pastor of the church, said that $750 of the $2000 will come from a cellation of B and B Week.) special offering given each year Bailey said that the church had to supply Rev. Carr with a year's l;!onsidered selling either in Toilet Training Bill Passed supply of custom blend pipe dulgences or $5 tickets to the tobacco. Bailey said Carr fumed morning service but had decided when he heard of the allocation, neither project would raise the By BLANK TOM result of the skyrocketing will be responsible for preparing necessary funds within the next demand on the part of college but that he told him to pipe down. Stuff Writer handouts of comparative toilet R:1ilev sRid the re>mllininrr $1?.50 twenty years. . ··~ - students. paper prices and for demon , .'' [n a surprise movement the The mandatory toilet training strating the appropriate and . ,,•' .. Wake Forest faculty will be implemented into the proper prnr·edures. unanimously passed a resolution Wake Forest curriculum The penalty for anyone who ,•', beginning in the fall of 1975. Faculty \,· .·.·, ... ': :· ''• proposed by Dr. William Cage of do~s not submit to the mandatory Committee ,_· t •• • the Economics Department that Although Cage explained that all toilet training will be the toilet training become man the details have not yet been assessment of five million dollars datory during the first semester worked out, he hopes that the on his following semester's of each Wake Forest student's training will become part of the tuition. This money will, of freshman vear. library orientation program. course, be non-refundable. Releases ·Schedule . .-.. When ·interviewed after Cage feels that in this manner a "That'll show "em," Cage said. < ' ' yesterday's faculty meeting Cage "spirit of community" could be The money that is collected will .,. " cited the marked increase in aroused within the student body. be used to fund a microeconomic hemorrhoids nationally among This.is because the library af study of the effects of listening to By DAVE'S LITI'LE BROTHER in the ruins of Saigon, Hue and Da college freshman as his primary fords the student the most the ocean all night in order to Stuff Writer Nang. Students required to bring BerthB motivation in proposing the spacious facilities on campus. avoid wetting the bed. appropriate touris·t gear ( rifl.es, rush f1 rrreasure. Therefore, more people could be Cage stated, finally, that his Dr. Shorter, head of the grenades, helmets). To further support his asser checked by the bathroom ultimate goal is to make Wake Faculty Winter Term Com tions, Cage produced a supply proctors at one time and a session Forest University mandatory for mittee, released a preliminary Philosophy W12; "Existential schedule for the 1975 winter term and demand graph for of group criticism where all Ame~icans. His next step will Cooking" Kaopectate will be served could yesterday, including a list of new Camus' recipe for shrimp Arabs Parachute tO Quad Preparation H, a nationally be to mtroduce a resolution known brand of hemorrhoid follow. before the faculty that the minimester courses. The creole, and Sartre's recipe for medicine. The graph showed the The bathroom proctors will be following is a sampling of some of roast beef. Students will be asked university's motto be changed (A source close to Cheri Woford, entire national store of the made up of the entire facultv of from "Pro Humanitate" to the more unusual courses to be to answer such questions as; By AL THE RIVER Shortly ·after 10 p.m., both offered next year. WRC president, later said that ·Arabs agreed to surrender their · ByTYRONI rroduct being wired out as a the Speech Department. They "Cleanliness and Community." What is the being of potatoes?· Do Socie1 they exist? Is mashed moral? not all of them really were bows provided that they be given Auditing W5; "Creative Tax WINSTON·SALEM, N.C. - Syrian.) executive clemency and a The Society Fraud" Philosophy Wl3; "Knowledge" Yesterday at 3:46p.m. two Arab A bargaining team led by Neal Piedmont Boeing 737 for their terrorists took over Wake Forest Berkowitz met with no success in trip home. The clemency is still Hypocrisy (S.O How to deduct your entire What is knowledge? Can we the completion know? If not, how can we be University's Wait Chapel. a two-hour meeting with the pending, but they did receive two Beautification Plans .Told income. Nixon analyzed in depth. Parachuting to the men's long line of Arabs, and by 6 p.m. the WF Students required to write a tax sure? If so, what can we know? · 737's and a gift certificate for one How? Why? Does knowledge quadrangle from a Grecian-built mediators had stormed out of the more. programs tot free tax return statement. URN, the guerillas laid seige on chapel chanting something along reception in Director of the physical plant concrete should be dry. exist, or is it merely a reflection Despite the fact that the two strategically placed white lines. the red brick edifice standing on the lines of, "I like Ikes." terrorists were unable to win parking lot. Pete Moore announced this week Bushes, trees, and insects will Biology W7; "Urban Wildlife" of the ultimate beingness and Any student stepping on a white inner consciousness of the the north side of the Wake Forest Berkowitz, elaborating on the release for their 14 comrades by Amid count! that next week the quad will be be painted in a design on the new line will force the administration Partying in the city. Students Reynolda campus, styled in rush chairwon: p11ved. quad. required to "score" with at least cosmic "know?" What the hell. guerilla demands, reported, means of guerilla tactics, no to close the KA house, according lovely Georgian architecture and "They wanted us to make a more trouble is expected by the proudly annour one stranger of the opposite sex Bertha Buttock "We're tired of trying to grow "We are very pleased with the to President James Ralph Scales. Psychology W7; "Advanced only one mile from downtown public statement to the effect that WF administration. Early this "Just think," Scales said. (or same sex with the permission is regarded as grass, and even sewing wild oats n~w idea," Moore said. "Nobody of the instructor). Abnormal Behavior" Winston-Salem, horne of R.J. the Egyptian- Israeli border morning Dean of Women Lu there didn't work," Moore said. will get mud on their shoes· "Wake Forest will soon have the The study of disorders such as Reynolds Industries. The should be moved back to where it Leake told reporters that the coup for the S big~est,!~reen concrete slab in the History W3; "History of Wakis Forestus and Streakosis. terrorists entered and took over was in 44 B.C. I did not think that WRC no longer was holding the 14 was also hea' nobody ~ill walk on the grass: Fideles and the He said concrete tinted with People Will stop playing frisbee natwn. Death" Deranged students preferred. without resistance. was fair at all." Arabs captive. Thirteen of them large quantities of green food there bee a use they will all fall Plans are underway to field a A survey of historical deaths. Physics WS "Heavenly Bodies" Once they had established At 6:24 p.m. the Sigma Chi made it known that they enjoyed coloring will be poured onto the down and skin their knees." roller. derby _team, headed ~~ 1 Students required to die and rise Raquel Welch, Burt Reynolds, control, one of them came to the fraternity, receiving ground dating Salem College women. quad Monday, and all students, Housmg Dnector Jeanme again on the third day. and the Playboy Bunnies of 1974 top of the chapel steps and . cover from an ROTC artillery The fourteenth was reportedly faculty, and others are asked to The one rule applying to the Thomas. Military Science WI· "Viet- are highlighted. How to tell the demanded the release of the 14 unit, began an effort to retake iile released because the WRC was refrain from walking across the new surface is that students are "Women are going to get on the nam, Land and People;, time, the date, and set your Syrian prisoners held captive by chapel by force. Four hours of not sure what one lonely Arab quad until Friday, when the not allowed to step on qu~d one way or another," she Tour of South Vietnam, taking course by them. the Women's Residence Council. fierce fighting followed. · · could do. sa1d. dYou UT THE...... _ / An Opportunity To Meet Other People And • grow together • learn together Budg~ • have fun together Cuts ( Vice PresidE Gene Luca Introduction To dissatisfaction learning that th Advisory recommended t cut by half in i Transactional · recomrnendatio1 Norris Mel chairman, Sl committee had money to MRC, Analysis For than was prese1 activity fee. Th necessary to fir funds somewh1 Assertiveness The Funk seemed "the 1 start." Personal Lucas said Training Group For ..• an energy-building coed group for Growth Want to be more comfortable asserting those who want to get on with living in Learn some new things about yourself yourself? Is it hard for you to make an optimistic way. e.· 6 weekly meetings with the Transactional Analysis approach. · your feelings known? The Center is . • . beginning soon! Contact the Psych. Center, Ext. 388. offering a 6-week workshop - to help you This is a free, experiential course co deal more effectively and assertively with sponsored by the Experimential Col others. We will begin Tuesday, April 9th lege and the Center For Psychological Services at 11: 00. Contact the Psych. Center if Getting it together in a real way you're interested. Ext. 388 Saturihly, April 13th From 9 a.m." to 5 p.m. Sl for personal growth and enrichment in a For six Wf!eks beginning April 11th. group seUinga Contact the Psych. Call Ext. 388 or contact The Psych. ' * Proft Center if interested. Ext. 388. Center IN BY PAGE THREE Friday, April 5, OLD GOLD AND SMACK Victims of Circumstance 6 Coeds' True Confessions KAREN PISSOFF and within our budget: $4.50 each for "Brake slowly," one yelled, anticipation of busts to come in Wish you were here! DEBORAH BITCHESOME food and $20 each for drinks. ·'Slam on the brakes," one called, Daytona. Love. Daytona Beach Despondents For five nights we have heard '·Open the doors," one shrieked, Hopefully we'll be able to find a The story you have read is true. the same lousy band play the "Jump out!" while one lone voice ride back to Macon to pick up the Only the names have been On Saturday, March 23, 1974, from the back seat said, "Don't car, but it doesn't look good since changed to protect the guilty same lousy songs in exactly the stop. I'm going to Daytona:" ... , . six university co-eds set out to · same order for three hours everybody else left yesterday. from their innocent parents. spend their spring break in straight. Then we go to an inside Daytona Beach. Ten miles · bar where another band plays the outside a small Georgia town, same songs, but in a different Reason gaining the '':.per hand, Footwear for the whole family disaster struck. Twenty-four order, for another three hours. In we stopped and the Jlames wt>nt hours and many misadventures the mornings, if you haven't out. We had to call .J. tow truck, HASH & MOSER later, the girls stumbled into danced yourself to death, it's contact the police, fill out their Daytona motel. And this perfectly safe to take insurance forms, and whine to SHOE STORES was only the beginning of their screwdrivers onto the beach the service station owner to Reynolda Manor (Shopping Center) 7:u.a856 and 442 N. Trade Street. tale of woe. because the rain dilutes them please fix it that day. We ended 15 Percent Discount Off Regular Price With WFU ID enough so that the police don't up spending the entire day in at Hash-Moser Only Here is their story as told first catch on. Macon only to discover at 10 that in a mimeographed postcard to night that the car couldn't be Sam~ Good Quality & Name Brand Shoes their parents and later in a true repaired Wltil the next week, and account written to a mutual These :;ecurity gu.anls are it would cost several hundred OLD TOWN SHOE MART friend. Wlbelievable: they demand to dollars. · 3619 Reynold& Rd. SU-9«44 know your name before they'lllet Sboes for the student at discount prices you into your room and then Dear Mom and Daddy, assume that you're on intimate ********************************************* terms since they know your first On the verge of despair and * . * name and room number. For exhaustion, the owner offered us * . We have really been havuig a a ride to the bus station if we * * -great time here despite safety purposes we have had to would only stop crying and leave. occasional showers. Our room is spend several nights in other guys' rooms. The bus left at 1 a.m. We had to i ARNOLD PALMER i nice. The cost is as low as we split up and so Gertrude was estimated: we've only spent $4.50 alone when the interracial each on food. Boy, were Mom and Dad wropg incident occurred. It all started i DRIVING RA-NGE i about the fraternity boys innocently enough when she * * drinking beer. I haven't seen one accidentally dropped a hair dryer * * Photo by Shoelaces The motel has a nice dance · yet with anything weaker than a on the head of a sleeping black J Now Open Every Day Untilll P.M. ! every night and you'll be glad to bourbon on the rocks. woman. We did manage to push Bertha, th~ latest addition to the SOPH family, frolics joyfully at a SOPH know there are security guards at Gertrude to the back of the bus * • rush function. . · · every stairwell checking guests' You would just not believe what before the tension developed into : ~OOROBINHOODROAD ~ ID's. We have heard that some of happened to us on the way down. a disturbance. * : the fraternity boys have been A transfer truck dropped a huge !* 18 Hole Miniature Putting Course i* drinking beer like you said, but drive shaft and we hit it. The ca·r Meanwhile Agnes was getting we haven't seen them yet. dragged it along and the sparks molested by a perservering * * S.O.P.H. lnitates Buttocks caught the oil on fire because the freshman from Notre Dame who : Complete Pro Shop Phone.. : Oh, by the way, we had a little shaft tore the oil pan off. Flames thought she was asleep. To top it : For All : and smoke whipped into the off, the guys in·the back of the bus Ms. Melons pooh-poohed the Swain explained that when she is car trouble on the way down and windows- havoc reigned in the : Your Golf Needs 924·9711 : ByTYRONESHO~LACES so left the car in Macon, Georgia car. One girl screeched, "Roll up were smoking in blissful Society Editor · fact that the angelic Ms. Buttocks not cheer leading,. Bertha will be 11rl\* •• *·**********************-******************. * is the sole member of the SOPHs the bulwark of the Chiboys and took a long, but uneventful the windows," one screamed, The Society Of Purity and 1974 pledge class. "This pledge intramural football team. "She bus ride to the beach. We'll just .------, class is almost as large as last will more than make up for the pick up the car on the way back - Hypocrisy (S.O.P.H.) celebrated ~ no problem. the completion of another in a year's," she noted. . loss of Bobby Vaughn," Scott When asked why she decided to Wish you were here! Vivisection long line of successful rush cnmmented wryly, as a trWJk Love. · programs today at a gala pledge SOPH, Bertha was lost for began winding its way sensuously reception in the Sigma Chi an answer, which is neitller up his leg. Rally parking lot. surprising nor unusual. Amid countless milk trucks, Ms. Buttocks showed a The SOPHs were unable to Sons and daughters devoted. to rush chairwoman Carol Melons surprising lack of manners explain how they would outfit · Dea~; Robin, the philosophy and practice of proudly announced the signing of during the reception. She drank Bertha in blue bobby socks and We have really been having a vivisection will hold a· party and l Bertha Buttocks. This acquisition more than her fair share of milk rolled up jeans. Ms. Melons great time despite the fact that it rally in the Biology building on - is regarded as a major chicl!:en anP. constantly was seen emphasized however that sister:; has rained every single minute . Tuesday at 4 a.m. coup for the SOPHs, as Bertha defecating in discarded derbies were already scanning their we've been here which has driven · Plans include disemboweling was l}lso heavily recruited by and in No Parking areas. copies of Jane Austen for an us from our hole Of a room into several toads and newts. Fideles and the Miami Dolphins. Sigma r'hi president Scott answer to this dilemna. every bar in town. We're still well Embalming fluid will be served. Bring your own body . . 'fi-ll '5 IS A f'(f<£ 1/A.C.A RD _1 Let Us Lift The Drabness Out of Your Life With A New "All Together" Hair Cut and Style. We Can Offer The Latest In Sculptured Haircutting The Woman's World Northside Beauty Salon 725-1430 or 722·2098 767 ·0500 or 767-0235 .. -("t-/1 S lS 10 Qualified Stylists To Serve You! · DANG-ERoUS i I EVENING AND NIGHT APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE Budget Advisory Group Mobile Home For Sale: 1,_------~------I Cuts Gene Lucas' Salary WFU Trailer Park I Responsible Driver To Drive Car From Orlando I I Fla, to Winston-salem Anytime from Easter till 1 Lot 55, Phone 724-9734 SCREWDRIVER FROM ..Met/.®IS FIRST. Vice President of Business turned on him suddenly when he Come by and make an offer. ~ May. Call 768-7979 for details. 1 Gene Lucas expressed was advising their last meeting There's only one original Screwdriver, and dissatisfaction today upon and demanded a salary learning that the Student Budget breakdown. Jtta/.® makes it. They make it with your Advisory Committee Committee member Tom ·------' standard five pockets plus the deep recommended that his salary be Marshall said of their findings, screwdriver pocket on the side. cut by half in its spring budget "There were several places in They make it with a 1970's front recommendation. Lucas's budget that didn't hold Norris McDonald, SBAC up under investigation." and the buckle back that's chairman, said that the Marshall listed braces for· straight out of the Fifties. And committee had allocated more Lucas's daughter, lunch money they make it in swinging solids money to MRC, USRB, and CU for his yoWtger son, bus tickets and super stripes. Now you than was present in the student for his older son to come home activity fee. Therefore, it was from college for the summer, and make it. With the Mt~/.® necessary to find the additional an ironing board cover for his Screwdriver. And·tool fWJds somewhere and Lucas wife as "frivilous expenses." around in style. seemed "the logical place to Lucas said that he will go over start." the committee's head and appeal Lucas said the committee the decision to himself next week. For Your Convenience Becoming a physician is a tremendous satisfaction. Let us give you the job satisfaction that should go with it. Whether you're still in medical school with the the A1r Force does not. HefinJs hiSofficeestabhsheJ For the guys rigors of three to !i.-e years of graduate medical edu- for him. Supplies and equipment readily availabk . ..:atio_n still .t? be faced. or arc already a practicing He has many options available to him when treating phy"..:1an. 11' our opmton that the Air Force can patients. Forexample.hccancomultwith:\irForce and the gals too! offer both profes.ional and person,! satisfaction spe..:ialists. He also has roferral to other :\1r Force hard to d.uplit.:alc m nvilian hfc. facilities \'ia aeromedical e\'acuation. Last, but not ~!1 O\'CCStatemcnt? ~ot 1f you consider the least, are the satisfactions that ('Orne with ha\·in~ 'P""""'· the opportunity for regular follow-ups. anJ a miS>eJ Take 1hc problem of graduate medical edu..:a- appomuncnt rate that is practkally nil. tion. It'~ a pcnoJ of\·our hfc the Air Force can make \\:'hether rou arc alread~· a. physician. nr ~oon tr~ FEATURED AT considerably easier i•·11h comfortable salarv and lit·· become one, you might find it extremely interest in~ in~ wnditions. · to find out what the Air Force has to offer. \l;'c think Crea turc comt(,m aside. the Air Force 0tfcrs tt could t>e a real eye-opener. Ifyou'll mail in the cou profes!-.it'nal ad\'ant~lgc~. Bc~idc~ rccci\·ing training pnn, we'd be happ)' to send you detailed infnrmatit.'Hl. 1n your own ~pcualtr. \'ou\J be m <.:ontact with ~hy:,u.:ian.~ m all of.th~ rTicJt~..-;,,1 spt:dultH.~~. You'll ------, fUill'tU.lll 10 an l'O\'IW11111CIH whtdl I~ intcllt.'CIU~III\' r.\1t l ••r•~ l )!'l'"ltllllltn•, , t ' ·'' MILLER'S 1'0 H''"•'l· . ~t•mulat•n~ and pnlfl"~~IOilOIII\' ~.:hallcn}!ing. · l'•"'•nJ. U 1'olfod4 I Nut ••lll~hy:-.tr..tan:-. punuc.po~t rc~tJcn~o."y fellow~ 1 V.ARIETY STORE l'io:.L'~' ~I..'IIJ nll..' IUI••IIHJihll) 1\ll th..... \&r 1'\lh.l.'l'ln,h.t.Jil 1'111·1 ,.., :-.h1p~. But tl yuu :.m: mtcrcstcd. the Air Fur~;c cun L!l.lnl "tit! ••Nh!JILI'n 620 N. TRAIDE ST. OPEH FRIDAY l lunJ.·C\t.UlJ thl..'n,· !fiGHTS 'Ill a Jw.:t~ thcm tmth in-hou~t.· and ~llf..."i\'ilian in~titutum~. 5 The phy~1c.:ian aln:ady in pra..:lit.:c em lol1k (nt I ~.ani... s..,.,,,\t·. __ .F -1 \\-'arJ tu ulhcr thing~. If \'UU want trainmg in thC' The Slacks Headquarters prar..:tia.:c uf the mct.hl'inc ,·.r thf..' futun.. ·. yuu·u find u I A.IJh·~~ ·-~·~~~·~·:·--·----·--· ., ___ ·----1 in the Air Forc:c, For cs.;tmpk, thcn.•'s CIJlpha~i~ nn ,,: .. ,_ .. -·····--- ·-··---·--·-··--1 t-!rllUp mec.lkinc and prc\'~nti\'c mcJ11.:mc, .mJ the I St.u.·___ . ___ ,,/Lp ______(llwn ...• ____ , ~rt.IW~n~ ~pcdalty ,1f "famtly phy~11..'1an." \'\'h~IIC\'t.•r yt1Ur tntcrcM. there arc tcw !\J'C~o.ialtac:, whiL·h ~1tc 11\ll I \0, .... s., ,_- ··---... -- D.lll'll! Hlfth ______-I 9 hr..•mg pra4.:til:cJ tn h.x..lay':, A a Fnr... ·c. IN BY : A.M READY BY 5: P.M. Th~ ph~·~h.:ian Martin~ h1~ praL·tu.:r..- in ...:i\'ilian I Health Care at its best. I I til' ha~ to take inhl i.IL'(uunt the &:1.1:-.1 of .. cuing upun · otlkl·. The..:' phy~tci.m L'llnlmrn ..:ing hi'i praL·tkc m L----~or~:..._ ___ J 1'.\GE FOLH Friday, April 5, OLD GOLD AND SMACK I Always Say That Rah Rah Rah!.!!j HELLISH TYRANT SINBAD THE COSTER GRIFF THE STIFF Chief Neurotic Business Mangler Assy Brass Rah Rah Rah!!! MEQIOCRJ CRAZY HORSE By JON'S IN JAIL of compromise which nobody likes, and REDSY HAIRPIN DEBORAH BITCHESOME quietly making the changes. today and Mangy Editor CURLY PARDNER There has been a lot of criticism directed at To take but a few examples: discussion c TYRONE SHOELACES the officials of this university. They have been Flunkies The tasteful way in which that awful Smith Bagl• criticized for their actions (or lack thereof) shocking, disgusting, lewd, perverted · im: pitting Phi and their attitudes, particularly as these moral, and downright ~asty adventure~ome James RalJ Baptist Hollow, N.C., April Fool's Day, 1974 regard student interests. , KA ~ F1dele morning mixer. Simply declare . I say it is high time to forgive· and forget, to ~art1al law and get everybody away from the . feiitures de; be greatly pleased and eternally grateful for Infected area. "What it ta those bless~gs which we have received (some revolutionary propagandists would - The dignified way in which Lu Le~ke call them rights). · disposed of an OG & B reporter assigned to BAPTIST~ Our administrators have a delicate question some of her actions, simply saying, nesday at ~ position, placed as they are between hordes of "Do you think I would really talk to a reporter Wait Chape riotous, building- burning students and a about that?" Board of Trustees which scrutinizes their -The clever side-stepping of the whole 4-1-4 MANDATOl Dear Old Wafoo every move, waiting for the first sign of that controversy, simply instating a system which a.m. Tuesd~ cancer of public officials, progressivism. could easily become de facto semesters I, for one, would like to congratulate the without calling it a semester system, which of "a sense administration for their fine effort, managing would have greatly upset the st!Jdents over so to postpone or delay issues until crucial in trivial a matter as the university's academic COLLEGE We would like to take this what the permanent members of the terest waned, then coming up with some sort calendar. Seagull" tor opportunity to say we're proud as community are doing. After all, we - The forthrightness they showed in drawing $2 admissic punch of our school. work for them. up autoerotic open houses, whereby the Friday, freE Students at this school are Just look at all the good things the Trustees·can be convinced that there is some elevated to such a high position of faculty does. They realized that worthwhile social activity taking place, and POETRY\\ esteem by the faculty and seniors were missing out on a day of Once Upon A Time the students can be satisfied that they have • • • open houses for the mere price of trumping up Rod McKue administration that sometimes we classes for senior testing and they some excuse each week. Department can't believe it's all for _real. were wise enough to switch the tests By DONLAS IN ABLE rules ranged in color and size from not dissident perverts who felt that the squeaking to a Saturday, when obviously spilling coke or allowing coke to be spilled on - The diplomacy they have shown when, Take the administrators for of doors had nothing to do with hours. faced with the contention that the university OH, CALC1 example. They know what's good for nobody will miss anything. See·what Once upon a time in a far off land there any rug to preventing any door from "Nonsense," said Queen Leaky Faucet- the might be in violation of TITLE IX, they Theatre to resided a lady ruler who became enlightened squeaking. Unfortunately, shpuld any fairy be origination of her name is a story in itself-, the students and they do it, no happens when student things are "quickly" moved to do away with fresh \• Reservation one night with a rare vision and decreed that immature enough to allow coke to be spilled "doors are opened and the sky is not green, women hours (which has yet to be seen), thus matter what. They have the courage decided by those who are wiser? the fairies who lived in her dorms should have or doors to squeak the privilege would be therefore, should you spill coke the privilege And we will start supporting the effectively treating the effect (hours) to to stand up for their right to be no hours. All the fairies would have to do to revoked. is lost. Furthermore, should you refuse to sign pacify the students, without delving into PIEDMON1 autonomous. No student will ever football team. It's about time the avoid losing the privilege was to follow a few- Like all things in the afore-mentioned the title to your body and soul 1which was weighty, moral, ethical, philosophical causes few in the sense of not infinite- rules. The fairyland there was a core of hardnosed. found in the small print of the new rule ''TheAdvan sway the opinion of Dean Leake, for school paper started supporting the (the question of equal rights for women of Kernersv football team. Let's all get out and change) the Ridiculous Council will try you students). · example; it is, as she says, "none of •'!l!iilill~iiii~'Ailirl~iilll\liii!Dl!NID'!IlliiDl!!lilllffliiDI!!)liiDWWt.iill'!!iillllffiilll'9!iiiiiWI!!iilfW'!Iiiiii'Aiill'l!iill~'!li • and send you away for instigating a riot." the students' business," and support the team. Go team. Needless to say everything in the dorms of - The brilliant political savvy shown by CHAPEL SJ definitely not the business of a After all, what is a school paper fairyland were dismal, dull and generally their silence about mandatory convocation boring as hell. In order to raise moral, Bose These Roac newspaper, to know what's going on for if not to SUPPORT the team? and the ramifications thereof (penalties, Lambda ChJ We will also stop editorializing. It Letters Policy Bosy Bosey Boze (the leading member of the enforcement, and selection of those to be before it happens. Fairy Council beloved and beknown for her "priviledged" to attend), letting the students is altogether unfair for us to express many virtues) appealed the other lesser and faculty look like alarmists for opposing WAKE FOR fairies to agree to the new rule- which was It is the duty of the students to be opinions. So often our opinions have Letters to the editor must be block edition. Don't write to us anyway something which was never being Jews Harps really not a rule per se, but by the precedent realistically considered, since it was (is?) calm and study. When the deans a viewpoint, and that is unfortunate. printed on wax tablets and delivered Wlless you're damn interesting. I of rule 32g found in the 2nd column of the fine basically unfeasible. I decide something, they will tell you. Old Scold and Smack has no right to to the Old Scold and Smack office at print marked obscure and irrelevent the ELTON J< There's no need to get upset; after say anything about anybody. We are least a month before the issue they Our offices are on the second floor change was defined as ~·re-articulation of the In short, I would like to thank the ad councils command as interpreted by ministration for the concern they have shown, p.m. Friday all, we're here to learn, not to sorry we did so in the past. are to be published in (that gives us of Reynolda Hall, in the psychiatric Stones, who disturb things. Nothing will be written about Lawrence Welk in a drunken frenzy." This constantly attempting to guide students along time to figure out what they mean). ward. Just follow the raucous new insight filled the halls with joy, the difficult, twisting and narrow path which Donnie Osm We would like to apologize for our anybody without his permission. It's Old Scold and Smack reserves the laughter. Mail us letters at your own merriment and some undetermined sticky they, in their years of experience, have found General Adr part in all the rabble that has been about time all this ruthless writing right to edit letters for taste, touch, risk. Our phone number, when we product that greatly resembled cow manure. to be the best possible way to cope with the Nowhere could there be found a sad fairy- in world as it will exist ten years from now, roused in the past. We were .ego stopped. smell, sight, or bad vibrations. Don't are allowed to receive calls, is 725- tripping our way into thinking we fact nowhere could there be found a fairy which. I, not having been born thirty years We will not endorse candidates. write to us unless you want to be 9711 ext. 464 or 465. Remember: let because they had all been expelled by Leaky ago, am not able to forsee. Frankly, I am in had a right to pry into what was How foolish. written about in the next April Fool's he who is without sin get stoned first. Faucets for refusing to sign the contract. Tis awe of the many things they have been able to going on at the school. That, of We will no longer be cynical; we sad, tis sad, tis true. accomplish. Ol course, was an invasion of the will not even be cynacal. •'9!liiD'!!:liiDIJMCI'9!iiiD~liiD'!I!MII~N»W"*''lf~'!fiia'!!:liiiW'!!oiilll'!!:liiD'!i!iiell)iill'!!:iiiiW'!Nifl~iill'!l._'!llilll'!!iie'9!iiiiiWIJ!lilll.._'lliiltl!l!iiiiiWWWIJiiiii'W--W'I!iii'NIW'Illil'!lWJW't.~'!liiiiW'!!:iillllflrii university's corporate privacy, and Duplicate bridge will be carried HIKE FOR for that we apologize. play-by- play, along with exclusive ' students wi1 From now on we will cover only interviews with the players. Sunday mor club press releases and We welcome the community to a Letters From The Editor j. administrative notices and new era in reporting at Wake Forest. intramural news. We will also No more writing about closed trials, r ~. initiate a new idea -- hall columns. or even open trials; because trials To the Dean of the College: To Tom Phillips, editor of The Student: To Sigma Chi: To Whom It May Concern: !· Thank you for the opportunity to measure Poli Each hall or suite is invited to are bad and should not be covered. I was shocked and horrified to read this Shoot, you guys are almost as on top of it as It is also impossibl~ to do anything in a submit their news for publication how much I have learned in my major past issue of The Student. First of all I was the Dekes. How'd you figure out that next to donn room that requires more than one From now on this paper is going to relative to other college seniors around the each week. be worth framing, not burning. No greatly disturbed by the cover, which shows a them we hate you most? person moving about simultaneously. ByGRI country. I am overjoyed to get the chance to Deacon with a gleam in his eye. Obviously Pains our heart to know our secrets are not StuH We will also stop interferring with more commie, hippie liberalism. find out how superior I am. As a matter of your commie staff believes in the "keep on our own. To W.R.C. and-or the vending machine man: the faculty. There is no need for We're proud to be Wake Forest fact, I can't wait till tomorrow to take senior truckin' " slogan of those hippies, and I know Wouldn't you call25 cents for a li'l ole can of As pa11: of thE students, since they are only here for tests; I am at this very minute breaking into Malcolm Jones, who drew the cover, is coke a mite. steep? Study Project, < students, and to those who believe your office to steal a copy so I can start four years and have the privilege of otherwise, we say, love it or get the definitely a hippie. And the back cover is all departmer proving how smart I am. worse. The psychedelic design encoilrages To the mad cartoonist who keeps sending me passing throug paying for their education, to know hell to Carolina. Thanks again for this once in a lifetime drugs and implies that you think the things: office in the pa chance. university is crazy. I personally think you are To Whom It May Concern: Who are you? What makes you tick? Do you been made. a terrible person. tick? The following It is impossible to hold a fondue dinner requisitions fo party in a donn room without fondue-ing the To Drs. Tedford, Preseren, .and Bryan: rugs and people as well. March: To Bunz Daniels: Have mercy. The campus To David McCombs: Shame, shame, shame. Stop watering your indignation and it'll stop and received growing. I once had a problem with an in binoculars, the dignation that was getting so big it looked like streakers with. Get The Red Out it might eat my house, or at least my little To Delta Kappa Epsilon: The campus brother. Shucks. You found us out. You guys are ment asked for I fed it some grease drained from a Son of much smarter than we and our buddies Leake thousand new b1 Pit burger, took it out of the sunlight, and it and Reece figured. We didn't think you'd ever to be installed ir died right away. catch onto our plot to drlUII you guys out once keep the WOmE We'd like to say a few words about anyway. and for all. Oh well, you win a few; you lose a posted. To Sports Information Director Bill Grogan: few. (but to I.H.L. ???) The Howler of that communist idea that there may · WHAT?!?!?!?!?! a keg; their , be intelligent life in Taylor House. wanting this i Take Poteat for example. Those picture for the scientists went over in Poteat and Poppycock. To Cheri Woford: request was g1 found intelligent life. Now the To Dan Jaxel: Wow, that relates! that the keg be · intelligent life in Poteat has all I quite agree; responsibilities must be met, purpose. turned communist and they're doing and one of these is to rid society of people it The Fine Art There never has and never will be doesn't like. Another is to make sinful little mittee requeste intelligent life in Taylor. If there was things like intervisiting and drinking girls pay for their wrongs. Jesse Helms all the the plans for the and dancing and smoking way. To Leon Lucas: drawn, now that intelligent life in Taylor it obviously been dug. would be a communist plot. Only marijuana. That's what happens. Well, we really don't want to say anything about it; so we won't say anything about it, The Admissi( communists would live in Taylor. but well if then but maybe so possibly quite for a reinstaterr. effort to increa Davis is the same way. Although eventually feasibilities reveal potentialities. number of a no intelligent life exists in Davis To the First National Exchange Bank of And only communists go around in Roanoke, Va.: decision on thil House, marijuana grows there and Oops, sorry. pending. Taylor sniffing and digging and the plants are all communist. The dean c trying to find intelligent life. If we all To Knox White: requested and Now is the time for all good men to come to masochists to m stayed where we belonged we the aid of their country. wouldn't be having all these Why can't scientists leave well Testing this Satt enough alone. The world would be Several studer earthquakes and hurricanes. People were denied c' better off if there weren't any To the world: pay they would 1 have no business in Taylor House; if The name of this newspaper is Old Gold and To Jesse Helms: scientists at all; they're all What a comfort it is to know that you were ... ,;; Senior Testing God wanted us in Taylor he'd have Black. ',~;;:,, put us there to begin with. communists and if we don't get rid of once a member of our profession. ·ftl-.'~w them, we won't have any choice but •••••• to be communist too. I Tape Reeord1 We can't see the school spending I cassettes froi all this money to find out ''!hat's in Down with the pinkos. Liberal arts AND Ftii\TH£1l.,"\o~£ 1 1/1 MY CAN\fAI ByTEXMAULE There's no doubt that Feathers points, the third highest total in · became became the first runner And now, Coach Feathers touchdown in Tennesse's 1931 Sports Writer has shown the ''proven talent" of Tennessee history. ever in professional football to sheds his clipboard and dous his victory over New York which Coach Mills spoke. When gain over 1,000 yards in one pads to take the field for the gold the Wukc athletk staff realized University in the post season New General Robert R. Neyland, season. Since then, the Big Chief ~mil hla"k of Wake Forest. His York Charity Game. That The Big Chief is back. the loophole enabling Beattie to the exceptional mentor that has been joined in that honor by initial reaction upon hearing of exciting third doWn run came in return to the gridiron, the facts of Beattie ran under, once said of such greats as Jimmy Browr•. the d,ecision was one of the second quarter of action. After a recent rule past glory began to fly. As a Paul Hornung, Gale Sayers, and interpretation by the NCAA the Big Chief, "He runs faster "uncontrolable excitement", former AU-American, the 5-10, and with more power than most recently O.J. Simpson. Says according·to Mrs. Feathers. · central committee, it was 175 lb. fullback tore up Knoxville Coach Halas of that elite 1,000 For the Big Chief, it's been discovered that Wake Forest in the early 30's for the Tennessee anyone I've ever coached." Quite a statement from one of the Ycollege football. football history. Perhaps it's the greatness of In his three years of collegiate ten games, and football was less certainly one of the greatest Beattie Feathers that has sophistication and more just go thrills of my life. Coach Mills Immediately after the decision competition, Beattie established tried to tell me the game has permeated to make these was announced, Head Coach himself as the second all-time Following his graduation from out and run 'em over." coaches what they are today. the University of Tennessee, changed but I know better. It's Chuck Mills remarked, "This is career rusher and third all-time still hitting and contact, and tl.e biggest boost to Wake football career scoring leader for the Feathers went on to gain fame in It was because of these season, Vols, right behind the famed the NFL, this time with the that's what I love best." Feathers We'll know for sure after next in quite a few years. A man with accomplishments that in 1955 went on to compare the return to Also, we the proven talent of the Chief will "C'r·ossville Comet," Curt Chicago Bears under the famous Beatiie Feathers was elected to season. George Halas. It was with the football with the thrill he had playing be able to run rings around most Watson. During his 1933 senior the Football Hall of Fame. when he scored the winning ACC defenses." year, he scored a total of 78 Bears, in 1934, when Beattie Tacy Duke dropped However, I career for Skip Grows, Stare Goes Pro be coach As the By MARY GARBAGE post of Stare and Kareem Jabbar star who performed as a six-foot expressed jubilation at Hope's ex-Deacon Sports Writer will be unstoppable!" guard during the 1973·74 Surprising acceptance. Deacon basketball boss Carl campai.gn, has already grown to "We wanted to get the best men to Bucks Draft Tacy, although having to lose his 6'5" and shows no sign of slowing Pregnancy comedian possible for the football star pivot man, expressed down. Docotors say that Brown's banquet," he sai~, "Sin~e the Star Stare pleasure at seeing Stare attract amazing growth spurt sbould Wake Forest Athletic Director whole season was a joke.' such a huge contract offer. stop around the end of the Gene Hooks announced NBA commissioner Walter Summing up his association with summer, a~ which. time h~ will yesterday that Deacon Mills Signs Kennedy announced recently that Stare, the Deacon coach said, haye obtam~d hts m~xunum , swimming coach Leo Ellison, has Wake Forest basketball star Tim "Of all the players I have ever hetght-an esti~ated 7-3. Co?c,h submitted his temporary Three More Stare has signed a pro contract coached, Tim Stare is certainly Carl .T~cy was mformed of ~kip s resignation after learning that he with the Milwaukee Bucks. Stare, one of them." condth?n, but .was not avatlable is pregnant. Apparently Football coach Chuck Mills the 6·8 jumping jack from for tmmed13:te . comment. unexpected, the pregnancy has released the names of three more California, elected to skip his Att~mpts are still be~g made to produced many comments and football signees this w~ek. The finally MacGregor final year of college eligibility in Skip Grows, revtve the coach. rumors around the Deacon camp. trio are all junior college mountain order to sign. Ellison's obstetrician, '~Doc" transfers, and all three hail from revealed to Puma Milwaukee spokesmen were Tacy Faints Martin, claimed that the news Kwansei Gakuin University in throughout Adidas pleased that Stare chose to sign came to him as a total shock. "I Japan. names of the immediately, saying "Tim Deacon basketballer Skip find Coach Ellison's pregnancy According to Mills, the three expected to Head realized that there was nothing Brown has experienced an astounding," claimed ·Dr. players complete . the cross into the 1974 left for him to prove in the ACC. extreme reaction to an Martin. "Aller all, 48 is usually continental trade between Wake We're just overjoyed to have him injection of penicillin, taken for a considered way past child Forest and Kwansei. Early this ""~tr. in Milwaukee. Our doub_le low case of poison ivy. The freshman bearing age." Swimmer Bruce year, Mills dealt assistant coach c.o"~ Keijiro Hirose back to K wansei, Bike Mallette said, ''Ellison sure had a ::~:::::~:::::::::!:!:~:!:!:~:::::::!:::::::::::::!:::!:::::::~:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::-::::::::::::::::~:::::::::::::::::~::::::::~~~= cow at the ACC meet, but· I never his alma mater. In return, the dreamed he'd have a baby!" Deacons received ''three players [t The Management of ~~~;. to be named later." Hope Will They are I Kicki Yoshida (5-8, 1I" PIZZA GARDEN 155), Val Knocka Downa (S-7, TIM STARE [ll~ ~ll 170), and Tiam Slo (5-5, 215). MC Banquet roomie, Hall of Fame pitcher Wake Forest's annual football Deacs Hire Whitey Ford, is expected to join i "~=.:~ ~~~Viw:a~:!:sn:::a::u':;· I awards banquet will be emceed the team by the middle of April. PAGE'S this year by comedian Bob Hope. Whitey Ford Deacon athletic director Gene Held each May, the banquet Hooks had this to say about this honors the Deacons' top lineman, Marvin Crater, Wake's .new coach. "I think Whitey Ford SPORTS & TROPHY CO. top back, most improved player, assistant baseball coach, will be a tremendous asset to our and MVP. revealed last week that his program. As soon as he learns the P.O. Box 11196 4110 N. Cherry St. ID:,~:;~::rd::~:~ :::.s·l Arrangements for the banquet former minor league roommate ropes from Coach Feathers, he.. Winston·Salem, N.C. 27106 Phone 722·8192 DANNY MOSES have been handled by the Deacon will join the baseball staff as should fit right into out' ~l~l Comer of 30th and Cherry Sts. \j\j Club. An officer of the club pitching coach. Crater's ex- program." ~=~::::::!::::::::::~:::::::::~:::::::::::::::~:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::~:::~:::::::::::!:~:::::::::::::::::::::~:=:::~::::J~~ Thank You, Rifle Team Near tragedy befell the Wak~ Forest football team last · Wednesday, when the entire LLYS . starting Deacon offense was accidentally gunned down by practicing members of the Wake continued on page 7 squad to and (lJ) PIONE«-It Mo continued i·'. Forest rifle were all usiLt!u• condition at will be lost PRESENTS the TAX BACK SALE The rifle Have an open-air music ®PIONEER The new standard The oertect hl .. fl RSOO 10" 3-WAY, festival at home 3-SPEAKER SYSTEM ol hi·li oertormance. starter untt. -· .ij· ~~· ~~~. ~ •• oi' ra- •• ~ ~&o~ ;~:~· '<1 ·~--!f~;.! 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McDonald's Jewelers 0 Winston-Salem u u., TO 3 Locations: ~:~! 99C $3.49 2900 REYNOLDA ROAD .418 W. 4th St. REYNOLDAMANOR ••• PINE RIDGE 401 KNOLLWOOD Join Us at FAMILY STEAK PIT 635 Coliseum Drive THRUWAY SHOPPING CENTER 1209 Corporation Park 507 CORPORATION PARKWAY Quality for Quality We Will Not Be Undersold In Reynolda Manor Shopping Center CORPORATION PLAZA Anytime from 11 :00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. way Budget Terms Arranged and till 10:00 Fri. & Sat. Nights. 275 South Stratford I Road· YOUR AUTHORIZED KEEPS~-~ --~-E~I/ELER ____ j WE ARE OPEN SUNDAYS '. PAGI·: EIGHT Friday. April 5, OLD GOLD AND SMACK Convocation Catastrophy Joyce Studies Cr~b TODAY IN . . Drew Joyce of the Wake Forest Atlantic Blue Crab and Why He Is * SENIO ]ames Ralph at the Mike-Woeful Tale biology department will present a Our Friend." Joyce and his paper to the National associate, Ronald · Dimock, Organization of Biologists and studied the crab over a series of MARII The convocation was Open 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. Mon. • Sat. First Baptist The Diamor 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Sunday Church of Sh Church Carolina, has Home Of financial suppm McMullen ud Lanz University it Dresses and Sportswear . College. Group_ streaking, obsc, "Pleasing You is Our Pleasure" ' liberalized teac: . 9:45 J. Harvey Cl~ Thruway for the Diarnc Shopping ·Worship 11 :00.: Church, said 1 We Specialize In Center Open Every Night 'Tilt Bus Leaves Johnson Monday Through Friday. I . At 9:30 t;t 'Our t:Wubts are traitors STEVE'S and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt' Italian Ristorante · Shakespeare B.est In Italian Food SPAGHETTI AND PIZZA Also An American Menu i· These photographs were taken of President James Ralph Scales and Dean of Men Mark Reece after the Open 11:00 A.M. • 10:00 P.M. annual faculty- administration milk blast last Thursday CLOSED SUNDAYS IF YOU LIKE HOUSE PLANTS, YOU'LL LOVE afternoon. "These milk blasts become more better .fun 112 Oakwood Drive HARDI GARDENS every year," Scales said. "They create .a real good Across From Thruway Shopping Canter. 3807 REYNOLDA RD. 924-8186 sense of community." Mon.- Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. l-5 Reece was u.nable to comment at the time. Foll A series of ~ Mills Signs Recruit fonnal discussii pressure on their advisors, but and producti By DOUNGLAS INABLE publications ~vi Stuff Writer I'm sure it will be worth the extra trouble." weekend, April part of the E. E. Coach Chuck Mills reports a Mills also announced a new plan for Athletic Rooms. Workshop. great recruiting season so far-he The worksh has signed Stone Mountain to fill According to him the first floor of the Holiday Inn will be rented out Edgar E. F the gap left by the graduation of emeritus, who o ~asterearcls most of his offensive line. and renamed. "The Pew of the Praying Deacons." journalism pre When asked about the name he Forest. "Stone will definitely help replied, "Hell, boys, it's the only This year cffite.?if'.{/1/"b ~di~.d Andy (Carlton) because we feel place near Groves Stadium managing edit01 Creative Excel I ence he is an outstanding pass where we have a prayer." Stone, and V blocker," the coach said. Atlanta corr is an American Tradition ... "However, he still has a lot to All was not good news, Newsweek mll learn about pulling." unfortunately, for Mills said that special speaker he hadn't been able to get the newsmen and . school to agree to let football journalistic fi players take courses from conduct semina In related areas Mills said he Reynolds High School. He has cleared with the Before joining summed up his disappointment October, Walsh Administration a plan to Jet by saying that "those courses are football players take their tests capacities for N harder than you think and it's not sports, "op ed' by proxy. In Mills' words-"It will fair to ask a boy to go to college really be a challenge for them to editor and other and play football at the same journalism at t find the right person for each time. School is always getting in test. I know it will put a lot of Missouri at Col• the way of practice." There's no easy way for Charlie Nelson to become Dr. Nel~on. Smith has But there is a way to make it somewhat easier. Antonio. Or the National Naval Medical Center in Newsweek sine Our way. The Armed Forces Health Professions Bethesda. Maryland, recognized worldwide for its Scholarship Program. It won't soften the demands was a reporter work in Medical Research. bureau. While t of your professors, or those you make upon yourself And if you've read this far, you may be interested -but it may free you from those financial problems in the details. Just send in the coupon and we'll the Kent State tr EUROPE • ISRAEL which, understandably, can put a crimp in your supply them. award winning! concentration. II you qualify, our scholarship program will cover heroin subcultUI ------~------,~~i~d Forces SchOI;ltShiPS Z.CN-4 the costs of your medical education. More, you·u 4 Atlanta bureau ·AFRICA . receive a good monthly allowance all through your Unnn~rsal C1ty, Texas 76148 currently writinJ schoohng. J dewe in!ormation for the lollowing pro~ram: Army Q Navy 0 A•r Force 0 Med•cal/Osteopath•c 0 Dental C his reporting e~ Travel discounts year-round. But what happens after you graduate? Veterinary· CJ POO•iltry ~ Olher {please specify) · Then, as a health care officer in the military drug underwo branch of your choice you enter a professional environment that is challenging, stimulating and (please print). Smith will be satisfying. Soc. Sec.*~~ ___ _ ---··--- infonnal semin~ An environment which keeps you in contact with ACdress ___ _ p.m. in Reynold Student Air Travel Agency,· practically all medical specialties. Which gives you other speaker the time to observe and learn before you decide on C1ty ___ ------your specialty. Which may present the opportunity State'----- z,. ___ workshop will i Inc. to train in that specialty. And to practice it. J.A.C. Dunn a Enrolled at You may also find some of the most advanced dexter of the COLLEGE BOOK STORE medical achievements happening right where you (school} 201 Allen Rd. Suite 410, I To grJduate in--.:{m=-=o=nt"'"'"l--{=ye"'ar.,..) Journal; Ral1 The work. Like at the Brooke Army Medical Center in -..,{O,-eg-re~e)- "On Campus" San Antonio, Texas, long noted for its Burn Treat 1 Date of birth•--== editorial writer WAKE FOREST UNIVERSITY Atlanta, Ga. 30328 ment Center. Or the home of Flight Medicine, the I {mon{h) {Oay) {year) IL •veterinary not available in Navy Program. · and Charles Ne1 P.O. Box 7717 • Winston-Salem, N. C. famed Aerospace Medical Division, also in San copy editor. ,.. ("., ...... , (404) 256-4258 ARMED FORCES ------~HEALTH CARE These newsrn DEDICATED TO MEDICINE AND THE PEOPLE WHO PRACTICE IT specifie aspecti
Wew Dorm' To· Get Prof's Name the Hospital the Coliseum by HELLISH TYRANT Coordinator Cheri Woford
