14 Garfield Que Sera, Sera “But life often plays cruel tricks on us.”

woke up in a good frame of mind. senna, bisacodyl, lactulose, husk, liquid If one were to expect a dissertation The recurring nightmare of being paraffin etc to constipated patients I on the subject, one would be I suspended from practice for sometimes recommend MAD magazines disappointed. I told him in so many contravening some MOH rules and - one chapter before retiring and two words about my problem and he told regulations did not occur last night. chapters whilst sitting on the potty on me in so many words that he would do Among other things, it could be that rising. It has produced positive results. a barium study and assured me that it the previous day I had checked and Best of all, it is not addictive. There is no would be comparable to endoscopy. He made sure that I had paid up all the troublesome side effect, in fact one may gave me a packet of magnesium sulphate relevant fees. get to sleep better and begin the day on powder, four tablets of dulcolax, an I sat up, said my little prayer and a more cheerful note. instruction sheet for my diet and fixed made my usual appeal to the Almighty, A short while later, the last piece an appointment for three days later. The which were: a) not to be caught in a emerged. I was nicely done and could look rest of the time was spent gossiping, a traffic jam, b) my clinic assistants to turn forward to being uninterrupted the rest fairly common and popular recreation up for work, c) the air-con in the office of the day - I thought. But life often plays among doctors. to function properly and d) patient, cruel tricks on us. One moment I was This is a rather casual approach, Ee Li Tern does not turn up. I would be feeling relaxed after getting rid of the one might say to a potentially serious particularly grateful if my last wish were waste and the next moment I was feeling matter. As the day wore on I began granted. One would think that these tense. The reason was I saw blood. to think more and more about my were reasonable requests and easily Bleeding PR is common enough and one problem and its implications, and the taken care of, but we mere mortals deals with it in the office almost everyday. more I thought about it the more are in no position to understand the The difference being this time it was anxious I became. At first I resisted workings of the One in-charge. I then happening to the doctor and not to his telling anyone including the spouse, waited, as is my habit, for the signal patients. I knew that I have piles and had but soon she began to notice that from the lower abdomen. some minor bleeds previously but that something was awry. She asked firstly It came and I positioned myself for was some time ago and also the bleedings why I was more moody than my usual action and also to read the recent copy were never that heavy. I sat down again moody self and secondly why I gave of the SMJ for my CME, attempting to compose myself and to decide on a the maid instruction to serve only rice two tasks at the same time. There was course of action. porridge with tofu for our meals. I an article titled, “Stigma of Mental The first thing I did was to take a succumbed under interrogation. Illness”. After reading it, I learned that: look. I held a mirror in between while “Dear,” I said, “Something is wrong.” “The diagnostic label of mental illness squatting. With one hand holding the “You are right,” she answered, “When may render the person vulnerable mirror and the other holding a torch was the last time I’m dear to you.” to stigmatization”. It appears that and bending forward as much as I could “It’s all the time, right from the Singaporeans who are different are without toppling over, I managed to have beginning and it’s on-going. Sompah.” likely to be treated like pariahs. In that a good view of the region. I saw piles “Out with it,” she said. case, perhaps a guideline on how to alright and some blood but whether “Something bad may happen to me remain a sane Singaporean is called there was anything else inside I was and it can be quite leceh.” for. Singaporeans are particularly fond not able to tell. The next thing I did “Leceh for you or for me?” she asked. of guidelines. We are a practical lot was to clean up and then I went out I then told her. and are natural followers. It can be done. for a walk. Walking, I find, clears up the “Will you take care of everything As I had not quite finished evacuating mind somewhat. including me?” I asked. after reading the above article, I The clinic of my radiologist friend “You silly goose,” she answered, “But continued with a copy of MAD. I prefer happens to be within walking distance. only to the best of my ability. Go read humorous comic books anytime over Twenty minutes later I found myself your comics.” medical journals. Laughter is good in its vicinity and since they start work She is always the practical one. I was medicine. From personal experience, a early, I decided to pay a visit and at the wondering whether to cancel all my good laugh seems to enhance bowel same time discuss my case and to appointments, just in case. In the end I movements too. Instead of prescribing seek advice. did not. I hoped I would be lucky. Page 15 15

Page 14 – Que Sera, Sera He had to leave for treatment for some the matter?” I wondered. It was only The day of reckoning arrived. shoulder complaint himself. I wondered my nose that was misbehaving. Needless to say I had not slept very |well. what his story was. And then it all became clear. I had The abdomen was uncomfortable I went home to tell my family and my carried a pair of briefs in my trouser throughout the night and I had to make maid heard me singing again. This time: pocket for emergency use, in case I several trips to the loo because of the “I see trees of green, red roses too, I see needed it after my procedure at the laxatives. I took a bath and to my surprise them bloom for me and for you and I think radiologist and I had taken it instead broke into a song while soaping myself. to myself, what a wonderful world...... ” of the handkerchief to wipe my nose, Although I like music, I listen but do not “Sir,” she said, “You have learned a right in front of the patient. How would sing for fear of irritating others. I had new song.” she know that it was just an innocent burst out automatically this time, it must “If you like it, I’ll teach you,” I said. mix up? be the work of the subconscious mind and But this story does not end here. I could not blame her for being related to my present plight. Whatever it I went to work and had for my first upset and frightened. She must be symbolised or signified, it did not really patient a young lady who had a simple thinking that this doctor was weird and matter, so long as it made me feel better. gynaecological problem. Suddenly, I maybe depraved. The situation, come “Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. felt an itch in my nose, perhaps it was to think of it, was actually quite funny The future’s not ours to see, que sera,sera, due to some scent she was wearing but when I found out that the young what will be, will be...... ,” I sang. and I started sneezing and the nose lady had left the clinic hurriedly with I was still humming the song as I was began to drip. “Excuse me,” I said and her mother and with tears in her eyes, I getting ready to leave the house. The maid took out the handkerchief from my stopped chuckling. What if she was so heard it and said, “Sir, this is my favourite pocket to wipe my nose. offended and lodged a complaint, say song too and it is important to me.” And then I saw her stare at me in a one of outraging her modesty? “Really?” I said. rather shocked manner, got up and left “Que sera, sera, whatever will be, “Sir, before I came to Singapore, I the room without saying a word. I was will be...... ,” I sang in a voice, which after was really frightened because every- totally nonplussed by her action. “What’s so much practice, was tolerable. I thing will be so different from what I was used to and worse of all I wouldn’t The SMA Medical Informatics Committee know what my employer is like. I didn’t is pleased to announce a series of hobby group sessions related to IT and Medicine. know what to expect at all. My mother Each session will consist of demonstrations and informal discussions. taught me this song and told me to just IT Hobby Group Topics Lined Up for Year 2001: hope for the best. Sometimes things 29 July 2001 Singapore Palm Users Group (SPUG), Headed by Dr John Chiam are beyond one’s control, whatever August Medical Libraries will be, will be,” she replied. September Video Streaming/ Online CME October Electronic Medical Records “You are right,” I said, “Que sera, sera, November Networking whatever will be, will be.” December Video/ Movie-making And so I made my way to the radio- Programme for 29 July 2001 logist. I met the security guard inside Time : 3 - 6pm the lift and he gave me a thumbs-up sign Venue : SMA Conference Room when he heard my “Que sera, sera .....”. I Lecture/Demonstration: took it as a favourable omen. When the 1. Introduction to Singapore Palm Users Group (SPUG) 2. Collaborative opportunities for SMA & SPUG barium was pumped in and the bowels 3. Setting up a Forum for doctors & “Palm library” inflated and I was feeling apprehensive 4. Demonstration of the latest SONY PDA (with seamless integration and uncomfor-table, I sang, “Que sera, with SONY’s VAIO laptop) 5. Q&A session on PDAs & other questions sera, what-ever will be, will be ...... ” but Tea Break in the silent mode. Discussion & Hands-on Session It seemed an eternity but actually it Guests from the Singapore Palm Users Group (SPUG): took only about 20 minutes to arrive at Mr Ronnie Ma, President the verdict. I was lucky, the radiologist Mr Toh Wei Sheong, Marketing declared quite confidently that it was Mr Jeffrey Yen & Mr Eugene Teo, Internet, Forum & Website matters clear. It is difficult to describe the feeling, RSVP for the 29 July Session at Email: [email protected] or perhaps it is that of a condemned man Fax: 2247827. Thank you. who is suddenly given a reprieve. I Name: ______MCR No.: ______cleaned up and went to his room to thank Email: ______him and was all ready to indulge in some gossip only to find that he was in a hurry. Tel/ Pgr/ HP: ______Fax: ______