USCCB ORU Diocesan ActivityF Report Vol.M 16, Nos. 1 & 2, Winter/Spring 2005 Sex and True Love In this issue . . . Sex and True Love Most Rev. Arthur J. Serratelli Most Rev. Arthur J. Serratelli ...... 1

he news has recently reported ture of liberated sexual activity, teen- Pastoral Letter on Chastity that a leading media company, agers themselves are no longer buy- (Excerpts) Twith preeminent positions in ing their example with the same rapa- Most Rev. Joseph F. broadcast and cable television, radio, ciousness as in the past. Martino...... 3 and advertising, has agreed to pay the Teen pregnancy is down. The Cen- Federal Communications Commission ters for Disease Control reports that Contraception as Sin $3.5 million, one of the largest fines the percentage of teenagers who en- Rev. Richard Hogan, Ph.D..... 6 ever given by this agency, to end alle- gage in sexual activity has been de- Cohabitation, a Hard Habit to gations of indecency. Yet even as the creasing in the last decade. All with- Break? debate about public decency goes on, out much notice. More and more high Rev. Phillip Kaim, S.T.L...... 12 TV continues to challenge its viewers school boys are virgins. Some strongly with ever new boundaries about pub- zealous libertarians insist on making Billings Ovulation Method lic decency. Not to be outdone by an condoms and abortions ever more Association, USA – Shining the alleged wardrobe malfunction that readily available to our teenagers. But Light on Authentic Billings OM bared a performer’s breast during half- instead of helping them to value the Education time at the 2004 Super Bowl, a Cleve- precious gift of human sexuality and Sue Ek ...... 15 land news anchor, a few weeks ago, wait responsibly for marriage, they Online NFP Instruction – can bared more than her viewers are ac- are only helping them prepare their couples learn NFP effectively? customed to see of her in a report lives for heartache and disaster. Janet McLaughlin ...... 18 about photographing public nudity. Society cannot ignore the sexual TV sitcoms serve up a daily diet of values it passes on to its children and COORDINATORS’ CORNER stars half clad and gladly engaging in teenagers. A sound society is built on Can you recommend an NFP- pre-martial and extra-martial sex. So stability in the family. A strong family friendly doctor? often with such humor that the real is formed where love is found. And Damon Owens ...... 20 tragedy beneath the steamy scenes is love between a man and a woman is a lost. One can only wonder how a very gift and a challenge. Genesis teaches, NEWS BRIEFS ...... 22 popular comedy that aired on Thanks- “Male and female, He created them” giving night could have two of its (Gen. 1:27). It is part of God’s original adult women cavorting with a young design that man and woman find fulfill- man only 16 years old. Bad taste at a ment in each other. In fact, He blessed July 24-30, 2005 time when we are so very concerned them and said, “Increase and multi- about the sexual abuse of minors (i.e. ply.” “God created man and woman National NFP those under 18 years old). But while together and willed each for the Awareness Week the adults in the entertainment and other” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, Details on page 17. news industries are giving into a cul- 371). (Continued on p. 2)

Diocesan Development Program for Natural Family Planning 1 (Continued from p. 1) Human sexuality is a gift from God. womb of Mary as a fulfillment of Isaiah angel simply tells Joseph “to take” It is also a challenge. It demands de- 7:14, “Behold, the virgin shall con- (paralambanein) Mary into his home nying oneself for the good of the other. ceive and bear a son and they shall (Mt. 1: 20). Where there are no boundaries to sexu- name him Emmanuel”Mt. ( 1:23). God chose Mary as a teenager. ality, there is no love. Where the indi- When Isaiah made this famous Messi- Young people can respond to God’s vidual puts himself or herself first, anic prophecy, he spoke of a young will. Mary was a virgin before, during there is no love. Where the satisfac- maiden (in Hebrew, alma). When and after the birth of Jesus. As St. tion of personal desire controls a rela- scholars in Alexandria, sometime be- Ambrose said in one of his Christmas tionship, love dies. To form a true fore the middle of the third century homilies, “Behold the miracle of Our communion of persons between a man B.C., translated the Hebrew Scriptures Lord’s Mother. She conceived, a Vir- and a woman requires discipline in into Greek, they used the word gin; she brought forth, a Virgin. A controlling one’s selfishness. Casual parthenos (virgin). Matthew sees the Virgin was she when she conceived, a sex before marriage injures the capac- Greek text as literally fulfilled in Mary. Virgin when pregnant, a Virgin after ity to love. But chastity and purity He clearly affirms her virginity at the childbirth.” Virginity enriches life. increase the capacity for intimacy and annunciation. Causal sex cheapens it. Mary stands love enjoyed in lasting fidelity. Both Matthew and Luke wrote their before us as a revelation of the deep- The most amazing proof of this is gospels between 80-100 A.D. Indepen- est meaning of love. Love must come found in Matthew’s gospel. “He [Jo- dent of each other, they pass on the before commitment; and the covenant seph] did as the angel of the Lord had tradition of the virginity of Mary. This of marriage before intimacy. The fact commanded him and took his wife is one of the few places their infancy that Mary and Joseph lived a true into his home.” (Mt. 1:24). Mary is a narratives agree. Obviously, they are married life without the normal ex- teenager. When the angel Gabriel an- dependent on an earlier tradition change of marital intimacy only high- nounces to her that she is to be the widely circulated in the Church. In lights the deepest meaning of chas- mother of the Messiah, she responds, liturgy and prayer, the Church cel- tity. For chastity leads to mature, per- “How can this be? I do not know ebrates Mary Ever-Virgin. Mary re- sonal integration. It enables the indi- man”Lk. ( 1:34). To know is a Semitic mained a virgin. The birth of Jesus did vidual to order body and soul, mind way of expressing sexual relations. not diminish his mother’s virginal in- and heart to the greater gift of self to There is no doubt that she is pure. tegrity but sanctified it (Lumen Gen- the other. And it was with the gift of Matthew himself indicates this in his tium, 57). In fact, the angel’s words to self to one another in fidelity to God’s story of the annunciation of Jesus’ birth Joseph may even be hinting at this. He plan that Mary and Joseph experienced to Joseph. He records the Incarnation does not use a word that speaks of the gift of true love. of God’s only-begotten Son in the marital relations between the two. The Causal sex leads to single parents, abortions, sexually transmitted dis- ease, not even to mention emotional Attention: Chastity / Fertility Appreciation pain and heartbreak. Many are afraid Educators to say sexual activity outside of mar- riage is wrong. Yet more and more of Teen STAR our young people are courageously (Sexuality Teaching in the context taking a stand against our permissive of Adult Responsibility) society. Can we afford not to help our young appreciate the gift of sexuality Teacher Training Workshop in Bethesda, MD by example and word? Do we want to deny our young the gift of real love? June 20-24, 2005 Through the intercession of Mary, ever- Virgin, may we be given the grace to live Contact: Hanna Klaus, MD chastely and purely. NFP Center of Washington, DC 8514 Bradmoor Drive Most Rev. Arthur J. Serratelli is the bishop of Bethesda, MD 20817 the Diocese of Patterson. The above reflection [email protected] was published in the diocesan newspaper, The 301-897-9323 Beacon, December 13, 2004. It is printed here with permission.

2 the use of food and drink — and sex. Pastoral Letter on Regulation is in order precisely be- cause these things are good. If they (Excerpts) weren’t, we would be obliged to shun Chastity them, not regulate them. As it is, chas- Most Rev. Joseph F. Martino tity empowers us to make right use of a great gift from God. Fully to appreciate chastity, we Bishop Joseph Martino, Diocese of Scranton, offered the following pastoral letter on need to reflect on attitudes and ways the 150th anniversary of the proclamation of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception of acting opposed to it. This will not by Pope Pius IX (December 8, 1854). The following are excerpts. be pleasant. As C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, “…perversions of the sex instinct are numerous, hard expressed, becomes personal Why chastity? to cure, and frightful.”(1) But the cure and truly human when it is inte- irst, why write on this subject begins with recognizing a perversion grated into the relationship of just now? Violations of chastity for what it is. one person to another, in the in our Church . . . have made The list is long and depressing. It F complete and lifelong mutual some people skeptical when the includes pornography, masturbation, gift of a man and a woman. The Church speaks on sexual morality. But premarital sex, cohabitation, homo- for just that reason it is more neces- virtue of chastity therefore in- sexual relations and unions, sexual sary, not less, to speak the truth about volves the integrity of the per- promiscuity, adultery, divorce and sexual morality. Sin and confusion cry son and the integrality [i.e., com- remarriage without an annulment, out for honest, truthful speaking. pleteness] of the gift. (Catechism contraception, sterilization, abortion, The Church has always taught — of the Catholic Church, no. 2337) cloning, and the destruction of hu- and I teach here — that we need to find man embryos for stem cell research. Sacred Scripture says the same our happiness and holiness in a com- Currently, a campaign of legal pres- thing in its own way. The single most mitment to the chastity lived out in sure and media propaganda seeks to important fact about biblical anthro- marital love or the chastity of celibacy force a change in the definition of pology may be that it views the hu- lived out either in the consecrated life marriage so that homosexual unions man body as integral to the human or the life of a single lay person in the will be accepted as marriages. person. In contrast with ancient and world. These are the two paths to hap- Secular culture as it is reflected in piness and eternal life. There are no modern dualisms, the Bible makes it the media not only accepts sex out- side marriage but also encourages it. others. clear that we do not possess our bod- . . . . Legalized abortion flows from Second, why is chastity so impor- ies, as if they were apart from us; the mentality . . . . Despite dishonest tant? Is this really a virtue for our rather, we are bodily persons. God chatter about making abortion safe, times? Don’t other subjects take pri- created us bodily persons and com- legal, and rare, there have been 45 ority? munal in nature by being related to million abortions in the United States In fact, chastity is a virtue for our him and one another. The biblical tes- since the Supreme Court gave its timony has serious moral implica- times, and it does take priority. That blessing to abortion in 1973. The de- should be clear . . . . There is a vast gulf tions. What people do in and to their struction of 45 million human lives in between the secularist view of sex and bodies touches the core of their a little over 30 years is not what most the Christian view of chastity. The personhood (cf. 1 Cor. 6:9). Chastity, people would call “rare.” . . . . Catechism of the Catholic Church says: as a principle of personal integration, Disordered sexual attitudes and Chastity means the successful is crucially important to holiness and practices before marriage make chas- integration of sexuality within happiness — to being healthy, inte- tity harder after marriage. Women the person and thus the inner grated human beings. are encouraged to be as “liberated” unity of man in his bodily and as men. But disordered sex is a recipe spiritual being. Sexuality, in The Contemporary Context for conflict, infidelity, self-hatred and which man’s belonging to the Chastity is closely related to the hatred of the other, for violence, de- bodily and biological world is virtue of temperance, which regulates sertion, and the breakdown of rela- (Continued on p. 4)

3 (Continued from p. 3) tionships in marriage. This is a strange In marrying, a man and woman Contraception and Natural liberation that entraps, enslaves, and establish a lifelong partnership, for Family Planning destroys! their own good and the good of their The Catholic . . . writer Flannery children. Because Christian marriage The Meaning of Chastity O’Connor called the Church’s doctrine is a sign of Christ’s covenant with the on contraception “the most absolutely for Everyone Church, its covenantal nature makes spiritual of all her stands.” Then this The Church’s message about chas- divorce impossible for a man and tough-minded realist about human tity is simple: the great good of sex woman joined in sacramental mar- nature added a catch: “With all of us may not be separated from procreation, riage. “To bear witness to the inesti- being materialists at heart, there is love, and marriage. Sexual intimacy mable value of the indissolubility and little wonder that it causes unease.”(5) and sexual relations are only appro- fidelity of marriage is one of the most Pope Paul VI stated the teaching priate between a man and woman precious and most urgent tasks of clearly in his prophetic encyclical united in marriage. Consent isn’t Christian couples in our time,” ac- Humanae vitae: “There is an unbreak- (3) enough; faith and reason should gov- cording to Pope John Paul II. .... able connection between the unitive ern and guide desire and passion. . . . Does the Catholic Church take a and procreative meaning, and both negative view of sex and seek to deny are inherent in the conjugal act. God Specific Issues people the pleasures of sexual expres- established this connection, and man Marital Chastity sion? Critics say so, but they’re wrong. is not permitted to break it through The Church teaches that conjugal re- The philosopher Aristotle remarked his own volition.” (HV, no.12) Even lations between a husband and wife that while men and women marry for so, people, including many Catholics, are “good and worthy of human dig- reasons of usefulness and pleasure, do break it all the time. Does that have nity.”(4) Marital chastity preserves that their “friendship may be based also on something to do with our being, as goodness and protects that dignity. virtue, if the parties are good…. And Flannery O’Connor said, “material- Growth in friendship between hus- children seem to be a bond of union ists at heart?” band and wife requires that they make (which is the reason why childless But after all, what’s wrong with constant efforts to grow in love of people part more easily); for children contraception? By contraception, God and neighbor and avoid sin — are a good common to both and what people willingly act against both the not only sins against chastity but also is common holds them together.”(2) procreative, life-giving meaning of sins like pride, anger, alcohol abuse, Chastity, which embraces openness to conjugal intercourse and the unitive, drug addiction, laziness, holding children and the choice to stay together, love-giving meaning. Setting one’s grudges, withholding forgiveness, is the key to a happy marriage. will against, as well as and acting and much else. The Bible makes it clear that mar- against fundamental human purposes To do this, a Catholic couple must ried love is a great gift from God. This like these, is moral evil — sin. It know their faith, receive the sacra- is the message of the Book of Genesis doesn’t help to say one is avoiding ments, and strive for the perfection of and the Letter to the Ephesians. Genesis procreation so that love can be more charity. With God’s grace, mediated makes two enormously important freely expressed. The two things are especially through the sacrament of points about human beings. First, they so intimately linked, Pope John Paul II are made in the image and likeness of matrimony, as well as frequent recep- points out, that “the conjugal act de- God. Second, seeing “it was not good tion of the sacraments of penance and prived of its interior truth, because for man to be alone” (Gn. 2:18), God the Eucharist, wife and husband can artificially deprived of its procreative created woman and, by ordaining that conquer their sins and disordered in- capacity, ceases to be an act of love.”(6) the two become “one flesh” (Gn. 2:24), clinations and love one another as What does someone who practices made the love of husband and wife a Christ loves the Church and the contraception communicate to his or visible sign of his love for the world. . Church loves Christ. Then their mar- her spouse? “I love you deeply — but . . as Ephesians points out, by the re- riage and family life become manifes- not completely of course. I give my- demptive activity of Christ, the love of tations of great beauty, sources of hap- self to you entirely — but only up to a husband and wife is a sign — a kind of piness for themselves and their chil- point. I trust God unconditionally — sacrament — of the mystery of the love dren, inspirations to others. Then they but we’ve got to look out for our- between Christ and his Church are on the way to being . . . married selves.” A badly mixed message, to (Eph. 5:32). saints. say the least. Things are very differ-

4 ent with a husband and wife open to Pastoral sensitivity is always in or- Conference of bringing a new life into the world. der, but silence is not. They are prepared to live even more Careful instruction in Natural Fam- the National fully in service to one another and to ily Planning should be part of Pre- sacrifice for the common good of their Cana programs. NFP should never be Association of family. . . . presented as a merely obligatory sub- ject for discussion that listeners are Catholic Family Homosexuality and Same-Sex free to ignore. Where our own knowl- Unions edge may be behind the times, we Life Ministers bishops and priests need to update Widespread acceptance of contra- ourselves on Natural Family Planning, (NACFLM) ception paved the way for approval of Pope John Paul II’s theology of the the homosexual lifestyle and efforts body, and other developments. and The Diocesan to have same-sex unions accepted as Let us take the Blessed Virgin Mary marriages. As with many other bad Natural Family as our model and guide. As the Sec- ideas, the logic is unassailable once ond Vatican Council remarked, Mary you grant the fundamental premise — Planning “preserves with virginal purity an in- that it’s all right to separate the pro- tegral faith, a firm hope, and a sincere creative purpose of sexual intercourse Coordinators & charity” (Lumen gentium, no. 64). Her from the unitive purpose. Of course, special spiritual fruitfulness comes Teachers the same logic can just as well be used from purity and openness to the on behalf of other sexual practices still Father’s will;(7) by imitating her, we generally considered unacceptable. September 21-24, 2005 too can be spiritually fruitful . . . . McCormick Place Hyatt, Education in Chastity END NOTES Chicago Many persons and groups have 1. C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New roles in educating children and young York: The MacMillan Company, 1960), Celebrate NACFLM’s 25th people in chastity. The need for such p. 90. education is greater than ever today 2. The Student’s Oxford Aristotle, vol. 5, anniversary. because of the mis-education in un- Nicomachean Ethics, translated by W.D. chastity that American children and Ross (New York: Oxford University This conference is a “first” in young people receive from other Press, 1942), pp. 1162a, 25-30. that the diocesan NFP 3. Familiaris consortio, no. 20. sources. 4. Pope Paul VI, Humanae vitae, no. 11, Parents should teach their children coordinators & teachers will quoting Gaudium et spes, no. 49. from an early age that chastity is to be 5. Flannery O’Connor The Habit of Being, be a vital part of the event. prized and cherished and unchaste Letters edited and with an introduc- behavior is sinful. Parents must of tion by Sally Fitzgerald (New York: Join us! course be models of chaste behavior Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1979), p. themselves. They can help their chil- 338. Registration: dren develop self-mastery by caution- 6. Reflections on Humanae vitae (Boston: ing them against unchaste thoughts St. Paul Editions, 1984), p. 33-34. NACFLM 2005 Conference, and immodest behavior, and warning 7. Pope Paul VI, Redemptoris mater, no. 43. Family Ministries Office them against . . . sources of lewdness Frank Hannigan, Director and pornography. . . . Archdiocese of Chicago Copies of the Pastoral Letter on Parish priests should speak the 155 East Superior Street, truth about human sexuality and Chastity are available in various Chicago, IL 60611 sexual sin. Homilies, the sacrament of formats, including an illustrated brochure. For information, please call penance, and sacramental prepara- 312-751-8351 tion, especially before marriage, are the Diocese of Scranton Office of FAX, 312-751-3858 important occasions for doing this. Parish Ministries at 570- 207-2213. [email protected]

5 The Human Body as the Expression Why of the Human Person Theology of the Body Human beings are the only earthly creatures God Contraception created in His image and likeness. As human beings we (1) are different from the animals and plants because we Is Sinful are persons, beings endowed with the capacities of thinking and choosing. Our bodies are to express or Rev. Richard Hogan, Ph.D. manifest our persons: what we know and choose. Further, since we are created in God’s image and likeness and are called to act as God acts, our bodies here is no question that the promulgation of can and should express or manifest God. In other the so-called “birth control” encyclical, words, our bodies are to make visible the “mystery (2) Humanae vitae (Of Human Life) on July 25, hidden since time immemorial in God.” We are also 1968 by Pope Paul VI was received by the different from the angels. They are created in God’s Tworldwide Church with dissent and howls of protest. image and likeness, but they do not have bodies and cannot make visible what has been hidden in God. The So vehement was the reaction, even by some bishops’ Catechism of the Catholic Church emphasizes the same conferences, that Pope Paul VI never wrote another point: encyclical in the remaining ten years of his pontifi- cate. However, from the perspective of 2005, thirty- Man and woman have been created, which is to say, willed by God: on the one hand, in perfect seven years later, the teaching of Pope Paul VI is equality as human persons; on the other, in their gaining some long-deserved respect. While the dis- respective beings as man and woman. “Being man” sent is still very much present and while there are or “being woman” is a reality which is good and large numbers of Catholics who ignore the Church’s willed by God: man and woman possess an inalien- teaching on “birth control,” sometimes out of igno- able dignity which comes to them immediately from rance, sometimes because they agree with the argu- God their Creator. (Cf. Gen. 2:7, 22.) Man and ments of the dissenters, nevertheless the “climate” woman are both with one and the same dignity “in has changed somewhat. More people are willing to the image of God.” In their “being-man” and “be- give the Church’s teaching a hearing. The question ing-woman,” they reflect the Creator’s wisdom and asked is often framed somewhat like this: If we can goodness.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. dominate earthly creation in almost all respects, e.g., 369.) as gravity is “dominated” by air travel, why are we The most important principle of the theology of the subject to the biological processes of the human body, body is that human beings, body and soul, have a especially to our fertility? dignity and value unparalleled and unequaled on earth. John Paul II has endeavored to answer this question The body participates in the dignity and value that we all through the one hundred twenty-nine addresses which have as images of God because the human body is the form his now famous Theology of the Body. He also expression of the person. However, each human body is addresses the issue in his Apostolic Exhortation on the different, not only in the differences of masculinity and Family (Familiaris consortio, 1980). His arguments al- femininity, but also each man is different from every ways begin with the dignity of the human person, man other man and each woman is different from every other or woman, and the creation of all human beings in the woman. This is because each human being is a “special image and likeness of God. Flowing from this reality order.” Each one of us is an unrepeatable being: each and is the corollary principle that as images of God, we every human being who has existed, is living, or will exist is unique. No two people are alike. We all share should act as God acts. In other words, we are called some common characteristics, but we are all distinct, by a very being, i.e., images of God, to love as God separate, individuals. Our differences originate partly in loves. Contraception is sinful because it violates hu- our family backgrounds, in our ethnic and national heri- man dignity and the call of the human person to love tage, and in our varying environments. However, the as God loves.

6 primary cause for the differences among us is that God God is love and in himself he lives a mystery of has created each and every one of us as individuals, as personal loving communion. Creating the human race in unique and unrepeatable beings. None of us will ever be his own image and continually keeping it in being, God duplicated. Even identical twins are different in impor- inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the voca- tant ways. Each of us reflects God somewhat differently tion, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and than all others. Although made in His image, God did not communion. Love is therefore the fundamental and make us identical because no one of us, or two of us, or innate vocation of every human being. even a million of us, can ever completely and accurately As an incarnate spirit, that is a soul which ex- mirror or reflect the infinite God. presses itself in a body and a body informed by an As the physical expression of our persons, the body immortal spirit, man is called to love in his unified can be said to be a sacrament. (Of course, this is not one totality. Love includes the human body, and the of the seven sacraments given to us by Christ. The gen- body is made a sharer in spiritual love. . . . eral definition of a sacrament is: a visible sign of an Consequently, sexuality, by means of which man invisible reality.) The body becomes a physical sign of and woman give themselves to one another through who I am and, when I act as an image of God, it becomes the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, a sacrament of how God acts. As the expression of the is by no means something purely biological, but person, a sacrament, the body is not merely an attach- concerns the innermost being of the human person ment human beings carry around with them. The body as such. (Apostolic Exhortation on the Family, no. 11; cannot be separated from the human person. If we do see Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2361.) something to someone’s body we do it to that person. The theology of the body and the theology of the When we shake hands with someone, we touch the per- family are two distinct points of view. The theology of son. Therefore, there is no possible way that we can use the body examines the eistence (being) of the individual someone’s body and not use the person. Since we cannot human body-person. This examination is logically prior use human beings (because human beings are created for to any relationship of the human person with God, the their own sakes), we should never use someone’s body or angels or other human beings. The theology of the treat it like a thing. The human body should never be- family considers the noble and almost unbelievable vo- come an object of use. To use the body is to use the cation of man and woman to enter into a familial com- person. munion in imitation of the Blessed Trinity. A further expression of the same truth is that the As images of God, married couples are to “be fruitful human body “writes” a language: the language of our and multiply.” (See Gen. 1:28.) Created in God’s image persons. We reveal who we are in and through our and likeness, we are called to act as God acts. In other bodies. Everyone “reads” and understands body lan- words, we are called to love as God loves. But before we guage. This teaching is not new to anyone who has lived can love as God loves, we need to know how He loves. in American culture for the last twenty years. However, Christ shows us how God loves because Christ is God our bodies not only have the language of our persons and He came to reveal how God loves. written in them, they also “write” the language of God The sacrifice of Christ on the cross is the clearest and Himself when we act as God acts and express those acts most dramatic revelation of God’s love. It is clear from in and through our bodies. The language of our own the account of the Agony in the Garden that Christ freely persons “written” by our bodies can be “read” but so can chose to die on the cross for us. It was His own choice. He the language of God which our bodies “write” be read! sweat blood over this choice. Christ’s choice to die on Marriage and Family Life the cross was an informed decision. He knew that His death would mean our salvation. He made His choice Theology of the Family based on that knowledge. Further, Christ’s sacrifice was Created in God’s image and likeness, we are called to a self-gift. He gave Himself on the cross to the Father for act like Him. We are called to love because He loves. In us. How could He have given more? Christ’s gift of fact, love is God’s activity. Our bodies, especially, in Himself is permanent. He always remains the Lamb of their masculinity and femininity, are to express this act, God and the effect of His sacrifice extends to eternity. this divine love: a self-gift of one person to another. Finally, His sacrifice on the cross is life-giving. Through God created man in his own image and likeness: call- this act of salvation, we are able to share the very life of ing him to existence through love, he called him at the God: grace. There are five characteristics of God’s love as same time for love. revealed in Christ’s sacrifice. They are: 1. a choice; 2. (Continued on p. 8)

7 (Continued from p. 7) based on knowledge. This choice is 3. a self-gift and this accordance with their dignity.) In fact, it can be said that self-gift is 4. permanent and 5. life-giving. through the human sexual powers we can love in a more If we are to love as God loves, our love must have the profound way than through any other of our physical five characteristics of divine love. Our love must be a attributes. (It is not that there are not greater acts of love, choice based on knowledge. This choice must be a e.g., the mystical union with God which some of the decision to give oneself. The gift of self must be perma- saints have experienced, but such acts of love are prima- nent and life-giving. rily movements of grace within the soul and in essence To love as God loves and express those acts in and are not physical.) Since our sexual powers enable us to through the body is a testimony to the Trinity. When we love in a unique way, they enable us to act like God in a imitate God and love as He loves, we show unique way. In loving through our sexual the world not just how we love, but how powers we become visible images of God in God loves. A married couple who loves as a very special way. In other words, in the God loves becomes an outward sign of the physical act of love, the body expresses the love of the Blessed Trinity. As a preface of The person and reveals God in a most profound the wedding liturgy testifies, the “outpour- way. In studying about this way of loving, ing of love in the new covenant of grace is gift we study what the body is revealing, i.e., symbolized in the marriage covenant that we study the body’s language. Since this seals the love of husband and wife and re- of self language reveals ourselves and even God, flects your divine plan of love.” The same in “reading” this body language, we come sentiment is found in another preface of the to know ourselves and God in a very special wedding liturgy, “The love of man and must be way. Our sexuality is, in a sense, a window woman . . . becomes the mirror of your to the soul. everlasting love.” (3) When couples enter permanent Therefore, the study of our sexual pow- into marriage and strive to love in this way, ers is, in a sense, the practicum of the theol- they form a communion of persons, a union and ogy of the body and it reveals the profound of themselves. This communion mirrors mystery of the human person and even to and reflects the communion of the Trinity. some extent, the mystery of God! This No other human union is as intimate a re- life-giving. study is undertaken by the teachers and flection of the Trinity as the bond of a man students in the NFP apostolate. NFP exam- and a woman in marriage. ines our fertility. It reads the “language” of Excluding the supernatural relationship love written by the body. In the NFP with God through grace, the most intimate classes, couples are taught about their own and intense human relationship of love is marriage: the fertility. NFP is the knowledge of fertility. There is a partnership of life and love.(4) Even though other human distinction between knowledge of fertility and its appli- relationships of love are expressed in and through the cation. Married couples may apply the knowledge of human body, the union of husband and wife in marriage their fertility to plan their families, but this actually is is of a totally different order because marriage depends responsible parenthood. on the body in a way that no other human relationship Since NFP is the study of our sexual powers, the does! The act of married love is the defining character- window to the soul, NFP reveals the profound mystery of istic of marriage. So, in marriage, the union of two people the human person. In studying their sexual powers, men in the physical act of married love is their love in a way and women will see the mystery which is expressed in that no other bodily expression love can be. and through these faculties. Men and women will per- ceive the dignity of the body and its sacramental value as Natural Family Planning (NFP) and a physical image of God. People will begin to respect the Responsible Parenthood body and hold it in awe and reverence. NFP is the means NFP to teach the world the incomparable dignity of the hu- man body as the expression of the human person. When he special reciprocity between masculinity and femi- men and women understand the truth about themselves, Tninity enables a man and a woman to love in a unique they will be more inclined to act responsibly, i.e., in way. (And in this context, we are presuming that the man accordance with their truth and value. But it is impos- and woman are participating in the five characteristics of sible to act responsibly if one is unaware of the truth. love. In other words, they are married and acting in NFP teaches the truth about fertility. As such, NFP,

8 properly taught, will usually lead to virtue. The Church their offspring are not persons. The angels do not give life encourages its use as a means of developing a holy life. to new angels. Only human persons can bring new em- NFP has been elevated to an apostolate. It is the study of bodied images of God into our world. Only human human fertility, of sexuality, which shows the individual beings can give life to new unique persons of equal value that she or he is truly an image of God created to love as to themselves. Each child is another expression of God in God loves. NFP probes the unchartered and infinite this world and will live for all eternity. Nevertheless, depths of each individual human person as an image of God did not intend that every act of marital love should God. It gives people a sense of their own worth and result in a new human person. There are only a few days dignity. in a woman’s cycle when a pregnancy is possible. Fur- ther, God gave us a mind Responsible Parenthood and a will so that we could As a relationship of love, marriage must have the five cooperate with Him in the characteristics of divine love, and the bodies of the spouses creation of a new human per- Remember, must participate in the characteristics of divine love in so son: procreation. Respon- far as is possible. Each spouse must choose to give him- sible parenthood signifies the self or herself to the other. The choice must be based on virtuous choice made by a love is the recognition of the value and dignity of the spouse. married couple either to The decision to give oneself to the other must be perma- strive to procreate or to try defined as nent and life-giving. to postpone conception. If even one of these five characteristics is missing, the Some people think that a a total spouses do not love each other. Clearly, the body cannot decision by a couple to time make a choice since it does not have a will. Further, it their acts of love in order to cannot recognize the value of another person because it space children using NFP is self-gift does not have a mind. Lacking a will, the body cannot the same as the decision by a give itself. However, the body can share in the perma- couple to avoid pregnancy which is nent characteristic of love because it can be given as a through contraception. This permanent gift until death. Our bodies do not require a is a confusion of purposes life-giving. series of partners over life as they require food. If God and means. Even if it is had created the human body to need a series of partners granted that the purpose is over a lifetime, there could be no permanent bodily gift the same, the means are dif- to one other person. In this case, the physical union of ferent. The NFP couple de- two people in marriage would not be love because one of laying another pregnancy the necessary characteristics of love: permanence, would and the contraceptive couple delaying a pregnancy are be missing from such a relationship. engaging in two radically different acts. The difference The body also participates in the fifth characteristic of between the NFP couple and the contracepting couple is love: life. God has joined the physical expression of love as wide as two men who decide to go to the bank to between two married people to the creation of new hu- withdraw $100. The one who fills out a withdrawal slip man life. It must be this way if married love is truly to be and takes the money from his account is doing a totally love. God’s love is always life-giving. If married love is different act from the other one who holds a gun to the to be truly love, it must be at least potentially life-giving. teller and takes $100 in a robbery. The NFP couple, while The intimate physical gift of love between husband and engaging in non-procreative intercourse by making use wife includes the possibility of physical life. If this were of the infertile times, give themselves to each other to- not the case, the physical union of the two people in tally and completely as they are at that moment. The marriage would not be love. But the body does partici- contracepting couple withholds their fertility from each pate in the fifth characteristic of love: life. If the human other in an anti-procreative act and do not give them- body could not participate in this characteristic of love, selves totally. Remember, love is defined as a total self- husbands and wives would be using each other rather gift which is life-giving. The NFP couple engages in an than loving each other. But God created us to imitate Him act of authentic love, while the contracepting couple does in his love and so the physical love of spouses is truly not, even if they think they are. It should be further noted love because it is physically permanent and life-giving. that God never told married couples when they should God allows married couples a unique participation make love. That is totally up to the couple. What He does in the power of creation. The animals reproduce, but say (through His act of creation in that we are called to (Continued on p. 10)

9 (Continued from p. 9) love as He loves) is that when married couples love, they cific intention in each marital act as the contracepting are to give themselves totally to one another with noth- couple, but with having the same general intention as the ing done to prevent life. The NFP couple does that while contracepting couple. Intentions or thoughts can be knowing that they are infertile. The contracepting couple sinful, e.g., the thought of hating someone to the point of does not because they withhold their fertility from one wanting him or her dead, or worse, in hell for all eternity, another. Further, the contracepting couple alters either is sinful. However, with regard to individual acts, e.g., both their bodies or one of them and in so doing they acts of conjugal love by married partners, the Church violate the integrity of their own bodies. never examines a general intention. Rather, it is always But the purpose of the contracepting couple and the the specific act and the specific intentions which accom- NFP couple are different! The contracepting pany the specific act which weigh as evi- couple while engaging in the marital act, has dence in the judgment. In other words, an excluded procreation both physically and NFP couple may have some vague general purposely (in their wills). Such a couple has They intention about postponing children for said “No” to new life. The NFP couple has months or even years, but that does not said to God, “We do not think this is the encountered matter. It is the specific intention which time, but if you wish a new life, we will they both have when engaging in an act of accept that life.” In this sense, the NFP couple their wonder love which either contributes to the virtue making use of the infertile times have not of the act or to its sinfulness. And, as we excluded the (remote) possibility of procre- and dignity have seen, the specific intention of the NFP ation physically or purposely (in their wills). by learning couple is not contraceptive. Therefore, the There is a radical difference in these inten- NFP couple does not have a contraceptive tions. the theology mentality in the individual act. Couples who have developed a familial This distinction between the general in- spirituality and who are acting responsibly of the body tention and the specific intention explains in planning their families will always accept one of the effects of NFP on couples. Since the potential for new life while engaging in through the the advent of modern NFP, pastoral prac- the marital act. If a responsible couple has tice has been to encourage couples to use decided to postpone a pregnancy for a time practice of NFP even if they did not have the most by having recourse only to the infertile peri- virtuous of general intentions. Pastors were ods, they still have not excluded the possi- NFP. pleased if an engaged couple agreed to use bility of procreation in their intentions (or NFP and generally never addressed further physically). If a pregnancy should occur the question of spacing children. It is the during these times, the couple will accept the child as a universal experience of the Church in the last twenty precious new life given to them by God. The Church’s years all over the world that couples who began using constant teaching is that the procreative purpose may NFP with the intention to exclude children in their mar- never be excluded in the physical or intentional orders. riage for a long time or to have only one or two, usually While teaching that procreation can never be excluded, “change their minds.” Pastors have often met couples the Church also encourages responsible parenthood and whose marriages they witnessed years before who have the spacing of children through the application of fertil- five, six and even more children and often they are ity awareness. closely spaced. When asked, the couples who more often It is clear that the NFP couple and the contracepting than not only wanted two and those widely spaced, will couple have different intentions while engaging in a say: “We changed our minds.” Partly this is attributable specific marital act. However, some criticize those who to their discovering through NFP that they are “fearfully use NFP with having a contraceptive mentality because and wonderfully made” (see Psalm 139:14). They en- they intend not to have children over the course of some countered their wonder and dignity by learning the months or years. In other words, even though each act is theology of the body through the practice of NFP. But “ordained to the transmission of life” as Pope Paul VI something else also is happening when couples “change insisted in Humanae vitae (see no. 11.), still the NFP their minds.” The general intention at the beginning of couple is criticized, even condemned, because, say the their marriage (which might be called contraceptive) has critics, their general intention is identical to the general given way to the series of specific intentions they had intention of the contracepting couple. These critics are when they engaged in the marital act. Each marital act charging the NFP couple not with having the same spe- (with the proper intention, i.e., an openness to life) weak-

10 ened the general intention until the general intention was guage of “serious reasons” has almost disappeared, it is conformed to the specific intentions accompanying each because the Holy Father knows that these will exist as a act. It is impossible to maintain a general intention matter of course if families respond to his challenge to towards something and continually act contrary to that learn the theology of the body, NFP, and the theology of general intention. Either the specific intentions will the family. change to conform to the general intention or the general intention will change to conform to the specific inten- Contraception and Sterilization tions. When NFP is successfully and faithfully practiced, Contraception and sterilization violate the dignity of the initial general intention (which might be contracep- the human body. Since the human body is the expression tive) disappears in favor of the specific in- of the human person, it participates in the tention (openness to life). This is another infinite value and dignity of the human way that NFP builds virtue. It is also the person. The human body is not simply a reason why pastors always encourage its collection of biological parts functioning in use, even if the general intention of a couple “. . .responsible a certain way. It is through the functioning is not the best at the beginning! of those parts in their totality that the mys- Nevertheless, how do couples decide on tery of the human person is expressed, that the spacing of children? In the past the parenthood the body “writes” the language of Magisterium has taught that couples, who personhood. The totality of the biological have recourse to the infertile periods only, . . .the functions is more than the sum of the parts should have “serious reasons.”(5) However, because through these apparently under- in The Apostolic Exhortation on the Family fruit of a standable functions an awesome and won- (nos. 32 & 33), John Paul II does not use the derful mystery is expressed in the language phrase “serious reasons” when speaking of of the body: the mystery of an image of God. responsible parenthood. Rather he sees the genuine Since the body is not a machine and is the natural regulation of births as fidelity to expression of the person, the principles of “the Creator-person.” (6) In another pas- familial the theology of the body teach that we should sage, the Holy Father writes that “respon- never harm or alter a major, healthy, func- sible fatherhood and motherhood, under- spirituality. . .” tioning part of the human body. To do so is stood integrally, is none other than an im- to try to “re-write” the language of the body, portant element of all conjugal and family or, better put, to falsify the langauge of the spirituality.” (7) The Pope sees responsible body. Both contraception and sterilization parenthood as the fruit of a genuine familial attack our reproductive systems: a major, spirituality, a familial holiness which is encouraged and functioning part of the body. If the reproductive system developed through the theology of the body, NFP, and is healthy, it should never be altered. To alter it surgi- the theology of the family. Studying the profound mys- cally, with drugs, or with other devices, is to attack the tery of the human person as an image of God both in his dignity of the human person and to manipulate the lan- individual existence (theology of the body and NFP) and guage of the body. It is to treat the body as a machine, a in the family, a reflection of the Trinity (theology of the thing, which the person owns. Since the body is not a family), spouses will come to know themselves and God. thing, but rather a part of the precious gift of life, it should They will know the truth about themselves as images of never be treated as some thing which can be owned and God. They will come to know something of the profound manipulated. Contraception and sterilization are a use of love which God has for them. Spouses will realize that the human body. they are called to act as He does. They will strive to Contraception and sterilization are also contrary to respond to each other and to God with the same love and love. When a couple employs contraception or steriliza- fidelity which He shows them. Gradually, a familial tion, they are refusing life. Since they refuse life, they no spirituality will develop in the spouses. Responsible longer love because love, if it is truly love, must have the parenthood flows from this familial spirituality which is characteristic of life. There is no love without the willing- developed through knowledge of the truth about man ness to give life. And there can be no bodily love (as and God (theology of the body, NFP, and the theology of expressed in the marital union) without couples’ willing- the family). As in so many other areas, John Paul II has ness to accept life if God blesses them with a child. This elucidated and clarified what lay behind previous mag- point is made by the Pope John Paul II in the now famous isterial teaching on responsible parenthood. If the lan- phrase from The Apostolic Exhortation on the Family, “the (Continued on p. 12)

11 (Continued from p. 11) innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self- giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contra- ception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, Cohabitation: a that of not giving oneself totally to the other.” (no. 32.) Contracepting and sterilized couples lie to one another when they engage in the sexual embrace: their body Hard Habit to language speaks of a total self-gift and the contraception and sterilization speak of holding something back. Contracepting and sterilized couples do not love because Break? they do not intend to give themselves totally to one Rev. Phillip Kaim, S.T.L another. (It is very important to note that if someone has been sterilized, the sin can be forgiven and the Church does not require such a person to undergo an operation Parade Magazine, a supplement to many Sunday news- to reverse the sterilization procedure. Having confessed papers has an advice column called “Ask Marilyn.” In the sin and received absolution, a sterilized person can the November 28, 2004 issue, a cohabiting woman asks truly love his or her spouse in and through the body about setting up a joint bank account. Since the ques- because he or she can intend to give himself or herself tioner makes three times as much money as her boy- totally to the spouse. Morally speaking, in this case, the friend, she’s wondering how much she should contribute sterilized person is comparable to a naturally infertile to the joint account. Marilyn responds: person. Of course, knowing that a sinful act can be “As you’re single, I think you should treat each other forgiven can never justify doing it.) Contraception and sterilization violate both human like roommates: Contribute equal amounts. But if you dignity and the wondrous vocation of love given to all of get engaged, I suggest you contribute at least twice as us as images of God. much as he does. That unequal financial contribution will surely become the pattern after you’re married, and it would be better to learn how it feels ahead of time.” Rev. Richard M. Hogan can be reached at NFP Outreach, 3366 NW Expressway - Bldg. D, Suite 630 - Oklahoma City, OK 73112; 405- Marilyn vos Savant, the column boasts, is “listed in the 942- 4084; Toll Free, 1-888-NFP- 6383; FAX, 405-942- 4022; E-mail: Guinness Book of World Records Hall of Fame for ‘highest [email protected]; Web site: www.nfpoutreach.org IQ.’” Sadly, this is what passes for wisdom in today’s secular world! There is a “cohabitation trap” that the END NOTES advice columnist (and so many others) continually fall 1. Portions of this article have been published previously in: John into. I’d like to discuss this trap by examining Paul II’s New Vision of Human Sexuality, Marriage and Family Life. cohabitation’s premise and where this can lead young Natural Family Planning Office, Office of Marriage and Family couples astray. Life. Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. 2002. Second edition of Catholic Church Teaching: Basic Concepts and Philoso- Marriage: “It changes everything” phy on Human Sexuality, Marriage and Family Life, Conjugal Love, Responsible Parenthood and Formation of Conscience. Memphis. The logic of this type of advice is clear: cohabitation is TN: Diocese of Memphis NFP Center, 1999. a test for marriage. So if you want to make sure you know 2. See John Paul II, “Man: A Subject of Truth and Love,” “s/he is the right guy/girl” then you better run an L’Osservatore Romano, English Edition, February 25, 1980, vol. experiment. But this is a trap, for as marriage researcher 13, no. 8, no. 19 in the Theology of the Body series. Barbara DaFoe Whitehead warns: “cohabitation is not to 3. See The Roman Missal: The Sacramentary, promulgated by Pope marriage what spring training is to baseball.”(1) Why Paul VI, April 3, 1969, translated by the International Commis- can’t we apply the logic of test-driving a Volvo to our sion on English in the Liturgy, New York: Catholic Book Publishing, 1985, prefaces for Marriage, nos. II, and III, pp. 519, marriages? Professor James Q. Wilson gets at the heart of 521. the matter: 4. See the Second Vatican Council, Pastoral Constitution on the There is no way to prepare for the commitment Church in the Modern World, (Gaudium et spes) no. 48. other than to make it. The idea that a man and a 5. See Pope Paul VI, Of Human Life (Humanae vitae), no. 16. woman can live together without a commitment in 6. See John Paul II, “A Discipline That Ennobles Human Love,” L’Osservatore Romano, English Edition, September 3, 1984, vol. order to see if they would like each other after they 17, no. 36, no. 118 in the Theology of the Body series. have made the commitment is preposterous. Living 7. See John Paul II, “Sources of Spirituality For Married Couples,” together may inform you as to whether your part- L’Osservatore Romano, English Edition, October 8, 1984, vol. 17, ner snores or is an alcoholic…but it is not a way of no. 41; no. 120 in the Theology of the Body series. finding out how married life will be, because mar-

12 ried life is shaped by the fact that examined marital problem solving and Fidelity the couple has made a solemn social support behavior. Spouses who One study showed that all things vow before family and friends cohabited before marriage demon- considered, befriending a partner’s that this is for keeps and that any strated more negative and less positive family was associated with a 26% de- children will be their joint and problem solving and support behav- crease in the odds of sexual infidel- permanent responsibility. It iors compared to spouses who did not ity.(7) Cohabitation may well create a (2) changes everything. cohabit. The spill-over effect from the barrier to the bonding with the other’s Even staunch cohabitation advo- cohabitation experience into the mar- family. While there may not be a cates now admit the inescapable fact— riage was something that they identi- stigma about cohabitation in the ab- those who cohabit before marriage fied as a possible explanation. They stract, families may still be unhappy have about a 50% higher rate of di- concluded that cohabitation is associ- with it in their own family, resenting vorce than those couples that did not ated with “more destructive and divi- or expressing hostility towards their cohabit before marriage.(3) The aca- sive communication behaviors during child’s cohabiting partner. One study demic debate now centers on whether marriage that are less likely to achieve a observed that cohabitants might cling there is a causal effect, i.e., whether successful resolution and may, in turn, to friends like single people, reason- ing that since friends are more likely cohabiting couples are more uncon- contribute to marital deterioration over than others to accept cohabitant’s ventional and “high risk” and thus time (Gottman, 1994).”(4) Part of what choices, the cohabiting couple thereby more prone to divorce anyway—the may be going on here is that the tempo- compensates for the alienation expe- so-called “selection effect”—or if the rary nature of cohabitation prevents the rienced from other support systems.(8) cohabitation experience itself is undo- couple from developing the communi- This was confirmed by a longitudinal ing the future marriage. While future cation skills necessary for marriage since study that queried respondents six research will only continue to shed they are unsure of whether the relation- different times from the ages of 18 to more light on this debate, there is ship will last. These poorly developed 32. The researchers concluded: “per- growing empirical evidence to sug- communication skills then spill over haps because of parental disapproval, gest that this “test before you buy” into the marriage. people who cohabit—like those who strategy has been doing more harm experience a union dissolution—ap- than good. That is, far from preparing Indissolubility parently do not find it increasingly them for what it will be like to be Those who cohabit are more liberal appealing to maintain close contact married, the couple may be develop- in their outlook on divorce. But does with their parents, even as they pass ing habits and attitudes in the cohabi- the cohabitation experience make them through the earliest years of young tation that may undermine the future even more tolerant of divorce and adulthood. This analysis support marriage. We will look at this from weaken indissolubility? One of the Nock’s (1995) contention that, ‘cohabi- the threat cohabitation poses to the more widely cited academic studies tation may, in fact, be a barrier to close goods of conjugal love. Because of found that there were some signifi- relationships across generations.’”(9) space limitations, just one example of cant liberalizing effects of the cohabi- a study for each conjugal good is of- tation experience per se on attitudes Openness to Life fered here. toward divorce.(5) In a later study, One of the attractive features to young adults were contacted at age 18 The cohabitation threat couples in a cohabitation is the free- and again at age 23 to see if their dom from ties that bind, most espe- to unity, indissolubility, attitudes had changed after they co- cially children. This aversion to chil- faithfulness and habited. They found that cohabita- dren and the couples’ use of any and tion had a significant positive impact openness to life all means to maintain that freedom is on attitudes towards divorce, making Unity seen in the incidence of abortion. it a more acceptable alternative, which One aspect to a couples’ unity that Abortions in Britain are four times replicated the findings of the earlier more frequent with cohabitants than is threatened is communication. One (6) research. If behavior follows atti- (10) survey asked 92 randomly selected married women. Abortion is also tude, a source of considerable debate married couples in their first two years found to be high in Australia, one of marriage to participate in an ex- among social and psychological re- scholar suggesting, “cohabitants at- periment where their communication searchers, then this could make the tempt to avoid childbirth at all could be observed. The researchers couple more prone to divorce. costs.”(11) It might not be surprising (Continued on p. 14)

13 (Continued from p. 13) then, to find that the practice of the END NOTES whole anti-life attitude may carry over 1. James Q. Wilson, The Marriage Problem : How Our Culture Has Weakened Families into the marriage. One study that (Perennial Publications, 2003) p. 6 asked respondents at age 18 and then 2. R. Whelan (ed.) Just a Piece of Paper? Divorce Reform and the Undermining of Marriage again at age 23 found that cohabita- (London: IEA Health and Welfare Unit, 1995) p. 87 tion significantly reduced these young 3. See L.L. Bumpass and J.A. Sweet, “National Estimates of Cohabitation,” Demogra- people’s fertility preferences. They phy, 26 (1989) pp. 615-25. also found that length of cohabitation 4. Catherine L. Cohan, Stacey Kleinbaum, “Toward a Greater Understanding of the had an impact as well. The longer the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Communication,” Jour- cohabitation experience resulted in a nal of Marriage and Family, 64 (February 2002) p. 190 stronger negative effect on attitudes 5. Axinn, W. G., & Thornton, A. “The Relationship Between Cohabitation and Di- toward childbearing preferences, re- vorce: Selectivity or Causal Influence? Demography, 29, (1992) pp. 357-374. sulting in the desire to have even less 6. William G. Axinn, and Jennifer S. Barber “Living Arrangements and Family children.(12) Formation attitudes in Early Adulthood,” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 59 (August 1997) pp. 595-611 Conclusion 7. Judith Treas and Deirdre Giesen, “Sexual Infidelity Among Married and Cohabit- Cohabitation is not new, but what ing Americans,” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62 (February 2000) p. 56 is new is how widespread and accept- 8. J. Stets, “Cohabiting and Marital Aggression: the Role of Social Isolation, Journal of able it has become. As one social com- Marriage and the Family, 53 (August 1991) p. 676 mentator observed, “living together 9. “Family Formation Experiences and Changing Values: the Effects of Cohabitation is now as respectably bourgeois as and Marriage on the Important Things in Life,” Marin Clarkberg, in Meaning and Chinese take-out for Sunday din- Choice: Value Orientations and Life Course Decisions, R. Lesthaeghe ed., (Brussels: ner,”(13) making it the most difficult NIDI CBGS Publications, 2002) p. 210 issue priests deal with in marriage 10. K. Wellings, J. Field, A. Johnson, and J. Wadsworth, Sexual Behavior in Britain preparation, according to the U.S. bish- (London: Penguin Books, 1994) p. 116. ops’ paper on this topic.(14) It is hard to 11. Sarantakos, Sotirios, Living Together in Australia, (Melbourne: Longman Cheshire, imagine, but cohabitation was out- 1984) p. 128. lawed in most states some thirty years 12. William G. Axinn, and Jennifer S. Barber “Living Arrangements and Family ago. This shift to mainstream has oc- Formation Attitudes in Early Adulthood,” 59 (August 1997) Journal of Marriage and Family, pp. 595-611. curred without any kind of Murphy 13. Kay S. Hymowitz, “The Cohabitation Blues,” Commentary, 115 (March 2003) p. 66. Brown-type national debate as with single motherhood. Thus, it will be 14. Marriage Preparation and Cohabiting Couples: An Information Report on New Realities and Pastoral Practice, United States Catholic Conference, Washington D.C., 1999 incumbent on us in the Church, espe- p. 11. cially priests, to engage fully in this debate and hopefully prevent in our Rev. Phillip Kaim, S.T.L., is a priest of the diocese of Rockford, Illinois. This article was drawn young this bad habit known as co- from his thesis on this topic submitted in partial fulfillment for the S.T.L. at the Pontifical habitation from ever forming. University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Rome, Italy.

2005 AAFCP Call for Abstracts The Science and Research Committee of the American Academy of FertilityCareTM Professionals (AAFCP) invites research abstracts to be considered for presentation at the Science and Research Forum on July 23 during the AAFCP annual meeting, St Petersburg, Fl. Abstracts may be of original research (clinical or basic science), literature reviews, theoretical development, or demonstration projects. Abstracts are welcome related to NFP, NaProTechnology, and other areas in women’s health or family issues. Deadline: all abstracts must be received by February 28, 2005. Contact: http://www.aafcp.org or Peter Danis MD, Chairman, AAFCP Science and Research Committee; 314-251-8888; FAX, 314-251-8889; E-mail: [email protected].

14 Billings Ovulation Method “. . .the teacher Association, USA – Shining training curriculum the Light on Authentic Billings and the methodology itself have been OM Education fine tuned and Sue Ek wonderfully simplified.” he development of the Bill- taught and used in over 100 countries ings Ovulation Method be around the world. Of particular note gan at the request of Father is China. Currently, there are over of Teaching the Billings Ovulation Maurice Catarinich, a priest four million users and nearly 50,000 Method which is commonly called “the ofT the Diocese of Melbourne, Austra- teachers in China. The Chinese gov- little white booklet” (available in En- lia. With the Pill looming on the hori- ernment has determined the effective- glish and Spanish). The slide rule (a zon and many couples seeking his ness of the BOM to be so high (fre- simple tool for teaching the Billings counsel because of difficulties in their quently 100 percent in postponing Method) is also given to new teachers. marriages, Fr. Catarinich felt that pregnancy) that all engaged couples BOMA also has available a computer- something better than the Rhythm are required to receive information on ized charting program and is devel- Method had to be made available to it. oping on-line education. In addition, Catholics. In 1953 he approached his In the early years of the Drs. Bill- because of the extensive teacher train- parishioner, neurologist Dr. John Bill- ings’ travels, there was no standard- ing that has been undertaken in China, ings with the request to develop a ized curriculum with a published the teacher training curriculum and moral method of family planning that teacher’s manual or many supportive the methodology itself have been fine would be better than the Rhythm materials. Thankfully, that too has tuned and wonderfully simplified. Method. Hesitant because his spe- cialty was not gynecology or repro- changed. Today there is a teachers’ The organization which shines the ductive endocrinology but ever faith- manual, PowerPointe slides and other light on the BOM in the United States ful to the Church, Dr. Billings agreed standardized support materials. For is the Billings Ovulation Method As- to devote three months to researching example, “The Atlas” was once con- sociation (BOMA-USA). The Drs. Bill- the issue. Those three months turned sidered the bible of the Billings ings have designated BOMA-USA as into over 50 years of research and prac- Method. Today it has been replaced the official affiliate of the World Orga- tice. As the story goes, Dr. John Bill- with “Teaching the Billings Ovulation nization Ovulation Method Billings ings’ pioneering research quickly fell Method” (or what has been univer- (WOOMB – International). Based in into place when his physician wife, sally dubbed “the yellow book”). The St. Paul, Minnesota, BOMA-USA’s Lyn, later collaborated with him. Thus Drs. Billings say that if a teacher un- mission is to provide teacher training was born the Billings Ovulation derstands the yellow book then they and educational materials that have Method (BOM). understand the Billings Method. In the “seal of approval” from the Drs. As the Drs. Billings developed the addition to the yellow book, teacher Billings themselves. In other words, BOM a rigorous worldwide speaking trainees receive Dr. Lyn Billings’ book, the authentic Billings Ovulation and teaching schedule ensued. They The Billings Method along with Dr. Method as it is being taught in Austra- literally traveled the world over, hold- James Brown’s monograph called lia is passed onto teachers and clients ing BOM teacher education seminars Studies on Human Reproduction: Ova- in the USA by BOMA. In many ways, in diverse countries and cultures. The rian Activity and Fertility and the Bill- BOMA-USA is “judge and jury” for all Catholic community in the United ings Ovulation Method (a summary of Billings teachers and education. This States benefitted from those missions his nearly one million hormonal as- is an awesome responsibility because in the early 1970s. Today, the BOM is says). Trainees are also given part one BOMA-USA is directly accountable to (Continued on p. 16)

15 (Continued from p. 15) WOOMB and to the Drs. Billings them- teacher’s manual is the re-thinking of Teacher Training (as an up-date) and selves. In fact, no other natural or how the BOM was being taught in the use only WOOMB-approved charts artificial method has undergone the United States. It all began shortly and related materials (all available amount of research and scrutiny the after the 1998 BOMA conference in through BOMA-USA). Because Billings Method has undergone. So Denver, Colorado. It was there that BOMA is responsible for ensuring maintaining authentic delivery of the Marian Corkill, a senior trainer from authentic Billings education, only method both to user couples but more Melbourne, Australia gave a presen- teachers following these guidelines are importantly to people in teacher train- tation on their teen chastity program. entitled to call themselves “Billings ing is crucial to protecting the effec- After some discussion with her, it was Method teachers.” Today the major- tiveness of the Billings Method. decided that sometime in the near fu- ity of teachers have been up-dated Since the Drs. Billings arrived in ture Marian ought to return to update and many have taken the advanced the USA in the early 1970s, BOMA has experienced BOM teachers and train training called the Extension Course trained teachers in 40 of the 50 states. new ones. This decision was invalu- (those who supervise teachers in Of interest in the development of the able. Marian Corkill has returned to practicum are required to have com- the United States six times (often pleted the Extension Course). speaking at national conferences with As part of the Drs. Billings’ original Gillian Barker who is also a senior intention to be of service to the Church, n order for a person to trainer and researcher from BOMA-USA has also supplemented Ibe a certified Billings Melbourne). the standardized teachers’ curriculum Ovulation Method teacher, After the first teacher training and in order to meet The Standards for Dioc- he/she must complete a update in 1999, BOMA’s Board of Di- esan NFP Ministry. BOMA-USA is BOMA-USA teacher train- rectors soon realized that across the committed to helping the dioceses ing followed by a super- United States, well-intentioned teach- provide the BOM to the engaged and ers had so altered the BOM that seri- married. vised practicum. ous deviations in the methodology This attention to quality control In order to maintain cur- existed. We worked quickly to get finds BOMA-USA committed to com- rent BOMA-USA certifica- training materials and the teacher plying with all developments or training curriculum up to the high changes to the educational system that tion, a teacher must renew standards that had been set in Austra- the Drs. Billings themselves have or certification every three lia. This “scramble” to ensure that will request. years and be a member in BOM teachers have current education Although much has changed from good standing of BOMA- and materials has been challenging. those heady days of method develop- USA. With little centralized direction in the ment and program expansion, the Drs. beginning, individual teachers over Billings’ constant plea to “keep it Please note, BOMA- the years had to create their own cur- simple” is the standard. It has re- USA certification is NOT riculum and even slides. It has been a lieved teachers and clients of much DDP certification. DDP struggle to encourage such courageous unnecessary materials—not to men- and innovative teachers to “get on tion stress! BOMA-USA is eager to certification is for diocesan board” by putting their early materi- continue this wise tradition. NFP ministry and is als aside (as well as other materials awarded THROUGH the from different NFP methods), up-date local diocese. and modernize. That said we require Sue Ek is the Executive Director of BOMA. compliance from teachers who wish To inquire about having a Billings Ovulation In the near future a to be part of the worldwide WOOMB Method Teacher Training Program in your area, please contact BOMA-USA at 651-699- teacher training correspon- system and call him/herself a Billings 8139 or by e-mail: [email protected]. dence course will be avail- Ovulation Method teacher. Upcoming training programs are listed on the able through BOMA-USA. In order for a BOM teacher to stay website: www.boma-usa.org. connected and current, it is a require- ment that he/she attend a Basic

16 National NFP Awareness Week

July 24-30, 2005

Celebrate God’s design for life and love!

Plan your educational activities now.

Watch for the post card of the 2005 poster in your mail.

Orders: 1-866-582-0943; [email protected]; ask for publication #0522

17 integration: the ability to apply the Online NFP Instruction – information to their personal circum- stances and to integrate behavior with can couples learn NFP it according to one’s family planning intention. Supplemental readings and online links help with the motivation effectively? to use the method and with the under- Janet McLaughlin standing of marital, ethical, religious, and physical issues associated with NFP use as does the personal recom- orthwest Family Services hearing something, thinking it makes mendations and advice of the Pro- (NWFS) has offered a corre- perfect sense, not having any ques- vider. N spondence course for NFP tions – until there is an attempt to When the client couple understands instruction since the early 1980s. This apply the information. Thus in a cor- the recommendations appropriate for offering made NFP instruction avail- respondence course, as each impor- the woman’s reproductive category, able to couples unable to participate tant concept is presented, clients will charts correctly and consistently, ap- in classes due to scheduling conflicts, have to stop to complete a learning plies the instructions according to their living at a prohibitive distance, etc. activity. In our courses, some of these family planning intention, and knows With the advances in technology activities are interactive online and when to seek further assistance, they and the general availability of the others are self-corrected paper-pencil are considered to be autonomous. This Internet, it became apparent that the activities. With these activities, any takes place over time, so clients are information could be made more at- misunderstanding or inability to ap- asked to continue to submit charts tractive and effective through an ply the information become apparent, through at least the first six cycles and online presentation. With the assis- and further instruction on this point to complete an additional follow-up tance of a grant from Our Sunday Visi- may be obtained—either from re-read- between nine and twelve months af- tor, NWFS was able to develop an ing and studying the material or by ter entry. Additionally, assistance is online NFP course utilizing its many contact with the Provider—before pro- available whenever clients have ques- years of experience with a successful gressing to the next point. Only when tions. correspondence program, and clients the learner understands the informa- “I think younger couples look more began utilizing this online learning tion and can apply it in an instruc- and more to the Internet as a useful option in 2003. tional setting, can it be said they have tool to educate themselves. Translat- As is true of all of NWFS’s instruc- acquired the information. ing the correspondence course from tional approaches, the online course Thorough instruction is not com- paper to online seems like a natural takes a gradual approach to instruc- plete even at this point. Follow-up is evolution. I’m amazed how many tion. Basic concepts, one building upon essential to ensure the ability to apply people have jumped to this alterna- the next, are presented. These include the information in a real life situation. tive and I look forward to seeing it the basic charting techniques and rules Clients complete an online follow-up grow and mature into a new and pow- generally applicable for all cycling. questionnaire after each learning ses- erful educational tool for those inter- Reading material includes A Couple’s sion and submit it with their chart so ested in learning Natural Family Plan- Guide to Fertility, and other materials the Provider can assess their correct ning,” explains Sean Fuller. also assist in this awareness. observational procedures and chart- What are some benefits Whether an NFP provider presents ing as well as their interpretation skills information in a class room setting or and their use of the method. In other of online instruction? privately to an individual learner, or words, the follow-up that is an essen- Engaged couples living in different whether a learner reads the material tial part of quality NFP instruction parts of the country have appreciated independently, one cannot presume and that is typically done face-to-face the possibility of working through the that the client understands and can still occurs; it is done via e-mail or in program together – despite their geo- apply the information. A typical ex- a phone conversation. graphic distances. Parents of young perience many people have had is of Follow-up helps move the client to children have appreciated the possi-

18 bility of working cumstances due to the through the course to- “. . .online woman’s reproductive 2005 National gether without having to category or her cycling leave their children with instruction pattern may not find Conference for a sitter. Busy people of online instruction as Diocesan NFP all ages appreciate be- provides satisfying as regular ing able to break each personal contact and Coordinators lesson down into small a viable may need to be encour- sections rather than aged to call with ques- and Teachers have to set aside a long option for tions or when needing n the Fall of 2004 a survey segment of time for a support. The flip side of was sent to diocesan NFP complete lesson. Addi- providing this would be couples Icoordinators asking if they tionally, online instruc- who feel so confident of would be able to attend a national tion provides the oppor- quality NFP their understanding of diocesan NFP conference in tunity for a wide variety the method from their 2005. Responses indicated that of supplemental infor- services. . .” study and completion of although interest in a national mation via links. the activities that they diocesan NFP conference was “I took the online do not participate in fol- strong, budgets have been greatly course before my wife low-up. In a class situa- restricted. Some respondents and I married,” explains Sean Fuller. tion, with brief follow-up appoint- indicated that they could not travel “It was very helpful to us because we ments immediately afterwards, for continuing education, while were on opposite sides of the country. couples see follow-up as the norm many stated that the budget The online course enabled us to take it rather than perceiving it as optional. allowed only one conference a together despite the distance. We Also, correspondence or online in- year. Because most of the could talk about what we learned and struction presupposes that someone diocesan NFP coordinators are discuss our family intentions so that has opted for NFP; there isn’t the same the directors of marriage and we both understood what we wanted. kind of opportunity to influence some- family life offices, the overwhelm- It was a wonderful experience and one merely considering NFP as there ing suggestion was that the while it would have been better to is in the repeated contact of a class- diocesan NFP coordinators’ take it together in person, this option room setting. was an effective and useful alterna- Despite these concerns, online in- meeting be held in conjunction tive.” struction provides a viable option for with that of the National Associa- Correspondence instruction by its providing quality NFP services, and tion of Catholic Family Life nature shares a very important trait in fact, it makes instruction accessible Ministers (NACFLM). with NFP in general: successful use is to those who might not otherwise learn After conferring with NACFLM very dependent upon client motiva- NFP. The use of e-mail follow-up and leaders, it was agreed that the tion. Couples who want to learn NFP, chart review provides for very timely diocesan NFP coordinators’ who are self-motivated, who can set responses, even when teaching conference will take place in and follow a schedule for completing couples in other countries. With the conjunction with that of NACFLM. the lessons, are very successful in comfort level much of those in the Dates are September 21-24, learning NFP in either correspondence reproductive years have with the 2005. Place is the McCormick format. Internet and e-mail, online NFP pro- Place Hyatt, Chicago. Registra- Correspondence instruction— vides a very satisfying way to achieve tion is through NACFLM at the whether paper-based or online—does NFP instruction. Archdiocese of Chicago’s office of take motivation on the part of the Family Ministries. Contact: Family learner. Not all couples have the same Ministries Office, Frank Hannigan, degree of commitment or follow- Janet McLaughlin is NFP Supervisor at Director, Archdiocese of Chicago, Northwest Family Services, 4805 N.E. Glisan through. For less motivated or disci- 155 East Superior Street, Chi- plined couples, the structure of a class- St., Portland, OR 97213; E-mail, [email protected]; Website: www.nwfs.org; cago, IL 60611; 312-751-8351; room setting better fits their needs 503-215-6377; FAX, 503-215-6940; Toll Free, FAX, 312-751-3858; E-mail, Couples with more challenging cir- 1-800-939-NWFS (6937). [email protected].

19 marriages, and families. Fr. Richard Hogan, NFP Outreach (www.nfpoutr COORDINATORS’ CORNER each.org), used easy-to-understand language and humorous examples to “Can you recommend an provide a moving case to resist treat- ing the body as a machine made up of parts and functions. Our keynote NFP-friendly doctor?” speaker was Dr. Thomas Hilgers, OB/ Damon Owens GYN, researcher and founder of the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction in Omaha, Ne- braska. In a presentation titled Cutting Edge Female Healthcare, he introduced his 30-year opus NaProTechnology™ (Natural Procreative Technology) as a medically effective, morally sound al- ternative to artificial reproductive techniques (ART), contraceptives, and the treatment of common gynecologi- cal disorders. How It Began The event originated with a phone call in the Summer of 2004 that I had received from Dorothy Dugandzic, Managing Director of The St. Augus- From left: John E. Fitzgerald, Dorothy Dugandzic, Dr. Leonine Watson, Archbishop Myers, Dr. Thomas Hilgers and Damon Owens. tine Foundation. She had recently coordinated a similar event across the hat NFP, Respect Life, impossible to provide women a con- river in NYC, and asked if I had any or Family Life Office tinuum of quality fertility care consis- interest in a NJ outreach to physi- has not received a re- tent with the Culture of Life. It’s time cians. I was more than just interested! quest for a Pro-Life or to build such a network. We both agreed the density of Catho- NFP-onlyW physicians? While all NFP- The Event lics in the Newark Archdiocese made only doctors are Pro-Life, not all Pro- it a good area to stage such an event On November 19, 2004, The St. Au- Life doctors support NFP. Over the (there are approximately 1.3 million past 28 years, the NFP Office in the gustine Foundation (NY) in coordina- Catholics in 500 sq. miles) and St. tion with the Archdiocese of Newark Archdiocese of Newark (NJ) has been Augustine offered the finances. Dor- NFP Office and New Jersey Natural asked this question by many of its othy, Dr. Watson, and I began pre- 7,000 NFP-instructed couples. Nearly Family Planning (NJNFP) hosted a Phy- liminary planning and decided early sicians’ Dinner at the Wilshire Grand half of the 2.8 million residents of the that there were a few things critical to Hotel in West Orange, NJ. This was four counties in the Archdiocese are success: a professional appearance, a Catholic. There are also eight Catho- the first major NFP outreach to medi- thorough medical presentation of cal professionals in NJ. Forty-four lic hospitals with thousands of Catho- NFP, a digestible presentation of the medical professionals attended (doc- lic doctors and nurses. Yet, Dr. Leonie spiritual and theological aspects of TM Watson (Certified FertilityCare tors, nurses, midwives). They were NFP, a video or DVD of the event for interested in hearing about the sci- Medical Consultant) has the only later promotion, and a “draw” to maxi- ence, recent advances, and current medical practice we currently recom- mize our responses. From her previ- mend that rejects contraceptives, ster- medical applications of modern NFP. ous experience, Dorothy thought it Most Rev. John J. Myers, Arch- ilizations, and abortion while provid- crucial that the invitations come from bishop of Newark, welcomed attend- ing superior, natural fertility care. The Archbishop Myers. I contacted Arch- lack of a network of medical profes- ees and encouraged them to discover bishop Myers who immediately the profound effect of NFP on women, sionals affiliated with NFP makes it agreed to host and speak at the event.

20 We chose a Friday evening in Novem- ber and reserved an elegant local ban- quet facility. For the medical presen- tation, we knew that around the coun- try, there are a number of terrific choices among the NFP doctors. I thought Dr. Hilgers would be a great choice because of his pioneering re- search, recently released medical text- book, and well-received appearances on EWTN. It is worth noting that New- ark NFP is a Symptom-Thermal pro- gram but often works collaboratively with other local programs including CCL and Creighton Model. We were very pleased when Dr. Hilgers was available to attend. Providentially, I was working on an unrelated project to bring Fr. Rich- ard Hogan to NJ in the fall for a series area for the cocktail hour, and Dor- tend to all aspects of female health, of Theology of the Body lectures. We othy designed table favors and not just family planning. One major thought he could give a great theo- “goodie bags” filled with books, tapes, goal is to build their confidence that logical primer to balance the evening and NFP contact information. The many conditions which are now and, thankfully, he agreed. greatest success from the evening was treated by using the Pill can be more Next, we purchased a mailing list meeting 14 locally practicing physi- effectively treated by natural means. of 800 physicians in our area, designed cians who attended and had no previ- Another key message is that practic- and printed high quality invitations ous knowledge or contact with NFP. ing NFP-only is not simply about the that included directions and reply These 14 are the focus of our follow- “nots” – not prescribing contracep- cards (Will Attend, Cannot attend but up. tives, not referring for vasectomies or would like a complimentary video of tubal ligations. But it is about embrac- event). We printed an additional 200 The Follow Up ing a superior system of women’s invitations that Dorothy, Dr. Watson, Anyone who has read Physicians healthcare that is consistent with the and I hand-delivered to key people Healed knows how tremendously dif- dignity of the human person made in we wanted to attend. I contacted my ficult a doctor’s conversion to “NFP- the image and likeness of God and the NFP list of teachers, users, and sup- only” can be – personally and profes- personal sanctification of the physi- porters asking them to pray for suc- sionally. With that in mind, we recog- cians and nurses through their work. cess and to deliver invitations to their nized that we had to provide different From the testimony of the doctors and doctors. Other medical professionals resources to each doctor depending nurses who have already embraced that should not be overlooked are on his or her place in this journey. A NFP-only, that is the real conversion. midwives, physician assistants, and full conversion could take years! NFP-only practices should be ac- local Catholic hospital staff. Our first follow-up was to send let- cessible to every diocese, every par- We had 75 people in attendance: 44 ters to doctors who attended the din- ish, and every Catholic hospital. While physicians and nurses, 8 local NFP- ner, then to those who responded but we pray like it depends on God, let’s supporting clergy and seminarians, were unable to attend. We have of- work all we can like it depends on us! and the rest NFP supporters. Of the fered to do an in-service for the doc- 800 physicians invited from the mail- tors and their staff in order to famil- Damon Owens, Diocesan NFP Coordinator, ing list, 16 attended and 14 declined iarize them further with the tremen- Archdiocese of Newark, can be reached at 973- 847-0165; [email protected], www.njnfp.org. For requesting a video (3.8% response). dous benefits of NFP versus the birth a more detailed plan how to host a similar control pill or other forms of contra- Of the 200 personal physician invitees, event in your area or to get an audio/video of 28 attended and 4 declined requesting ception. We also wanted to familiar- the event, contact: Dorothy Dugandzic of The a video (16% response). We set up ize them with the medical applica- St. Augustine Foundation, 914-476-4858; information tables in the reception tions of natural fertility care that ex- [email protected].

21 NewsNews BriefsBriefs

Northwest Family Services has March 18 & 19, 2005, CA Associa- ANNOUNCEMENTS changed the URL for their youth pro- tion of NFP’s conference in Los Ange- 2005 National Conference for Di- gram website. It was www.facts.cc les. Highlights include an all day state- ocesan NFP Coordinators and Teach- and now is www.youthsolutions.info. wide clergy conference and a physi- ers. See page 19 for details. Contact: Northwest also has online courses cian seminar. Contact: CANFP, 1217 Family Ministries Office, Frank available, check www.nwfs.org for cur- Tyler St., Salinas, CA 93906; 1-877-33- Hannigan, Director, Archdiocese of Chi- rent information or call 1-800-939-NWFS CANFP; FAX, 831-443-3746; E-mail, cago, 155 East Superior Street, Chicago, (6937). [email protected]. IL 60611; 312-751-8351; FAX, 312-751- 3858; E-mail, fhannigan@archchicago NFP EVENTS March 29-31, 2005, CCL’s Clergy .org. March 4 & 5, 2005, the Diocese of seminar, Cincinnati, OH. (See above for Birmingham’s conference, “Good New contact info.) Fr. Richard Hogan of NFP Out- in the City of God.” Featured speaker reach, has completed a TV series on April 1-4, 2005, One More Soul’s is Janet Smith, PhD. Among the topics the “Theology of the Body.” The thir- Family of the Americas’ teacher train- are: “Chastity, Marriage and the Fam- teen program series will begin to air ing in Dayton, OH. Among the fac- ily”, “Humanae vitae: Sense or Non- on EWTN on March 3, 2005. See EWTN ulty are Janet Bettcher, RN, BSN and sense?” and “Marriage and the Eu- for listings (www.ewtn.com) or contact Ann Moell, MD. Contact: OMS, 1846 charist: And the Two Shall Become NFP Outreach, Archdiocese of Oklahoma North Main St., Dayton, OH 45405; 1- One.” Nurses can obtain 7.8 CEUs. City, 3366 NW Expressway, Bldg. D – 800-307-7685. Contact: Susan Rosko, RN, BSN, 205- Suite 630, Oklahoma City, OK 73112; 1- 823-8744; FAX, 205-978-3897; E-mail, April 2, 2005, Philadelphia NFP 888-NFP-6383; E-mail, nfpoutreach@ [email protected]; Website, www. Network and the Catholic Medical worldnet.att.net; Website, www.nfp goodnewsingod.com. Association’s conference “Theology of outreach.org. the Body, the New Sexuality,” at St. March 11, 2005, Diocese of Fargo’s February 4 marks Stella Kitchen’s Mary Medical Center, Langhorne, PA. conference “A Contemporary Ap- last day as NFP coordinator for the Christopher West is the featured proach to Women’s Health Issues: Diocese of Harrisburg. After almost speaker. Contact: George Finnin, 3842 NaProTechnology.” Guest speaker is fifteen years in the diocese and nearly Lywiski Rd., Collegeville, PA 19426; Thomas Hilgers, MD, thepioneer of “a life time” as a Pennsylvania resi- Website, www.pnfpn.org. NaProTechnology, who will focus on dent, Stella and Roger Kitchen are his research and its effectiveness in April 4-8, 2005, Love & Life Unlim- moving to Savannah, GA. Under the treatment of women’s reproduc- ited Conference, Building a Culture of Stella’s guidance, both Harrisburg’s tive health issues. Contact: Rachelle Life in Reproductive Health. Spon- NFP teacher training program and the Sauvageau, Director, Respect Life Office, sored by the Pope Paul VI Institute for diocesan client service program have Diocese of Fargo; 701-356-7910; E-mail, the Study of Human Reproduction and met the Standards for Diocesan NFP Min- [email protected] held at Park Plaza Regency Lodge, istry. In fact, with Stella’s fine sylla- Omaha, NE. This conference is per- bus and winning personality, March 11-13, 2005, Couple to fect for priests, deacons, physicians, Harrisburg’s teacher training program Couple League’s (CCL) teacher train- parish directors of religious educa- has “gone national” as various dio- ing seminar, Cincinnati, OH. Contact: tion and RCIA leaders, diocesan fam- ceses have invited Stella to train their CCL, P.O. Box 111184, Cincinnati, OH ily life directors and NFP coordina- NFP teachers. We wish Stella and 45211; 1-800-745-8252; E-mail, tors. Contact: PPVII, Education Dept., Roger many blessings as they embark [email protected]. 6901 Mercy Rd., Omaha, NE 68106; on a new chapter in the South! 402-390-9168; FAX, 402-390-9851; E- mail, [email protected].

22 April 9 & 10, 2005 (one weekend healthy and effective. The last frame topic is listed and linked to the infor- only), CCL’s teacher training semi- of the film can be customized to in- mation with a click of the mouse. There nar, Moorhead – Fargo, SD. (See p. 22 clude local information.Contact: One is a glossary which can be accessed for contact information) More Soul, 1846 North Main St., Day- throughout the program by clicking ton, OH 45405, 1-800-307-7685, on the highlighted word in the script April 23 & 24 and June 11 & 12, [email protected], http://www. of each section. There is even a label 2005, CCL’s teacher training seminar omsoul.com button which labels each picture or (including a Spanish language semi- illustration with the correct names for nar), Modesto, CA. (See p. 22 for con- the various structures or organs. tact information) CD Resource, “Life Begins” — Review Life Begins can be a very useful and June 4 & 5 and July 16 & 17, 2005, Life Begins, An Amazing Multimedia educational tool for families or CCL’s teacher training seminar, Mi- Journey: Conception to Birth schools. The beauty and dignity of the ami, FL. (See p. 22 for contact informa- Reviewer: Mary Pat Van Epps, Direc- developing baby is captivating, and tion) tor, Diocese of Memphis NFP Center every person can learn from this at- This is a very comprehensive mul- tractive package. July 20-23, 2005, American Acad- timedia educational program about As a long time NFP teacher, how- emy of FertilityCareTM Professionals procreation, conception and birth. It ever, I cannot ignore some typical annual meeting, Petersburg, Fl. Con- has beautiful graphics and fascinat- medical statements which are mislead- tact: AAFCP, 3680 Grant Dr., Suite O, ing video segments. It is designed to ing in the script. A few examples are, Reno, NV 89509; 775-827-5408; FAX, be used by one person at a time at “ovulation usually alternates between 775- 827-5811. home or in a school setting. The stu- right and left ovaries.” The perfect “28 October 3-7, 2005, Love & Life Un- dent can explore many facets of the day menstrual cycle” along with the limited Conference, sponsored by the life cycle by clicking on the different perfect day of ovulation on “day 14” is Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of topics and learning at his or hers indi- expected. It also states that if the Human Reproduction, Omaha, NE vidual pace. If you have access to an ovum is not fertilized, it will be “ex- (see information above). Contact: LCD projector, it can also be used in a pelled with menstruation.” There is PPVII, Education Dept., 6901 Mercy Rd., classroom setting; however, there is no mention of cervical mucus; only a Omaha, NE 68106; 402-390-9168; FAX, so much information in this program picture of the ferning pattern of what 402-390-9851; E-mail, education@ and so many ways in which to use the they call “vaginal” mucus. Cervical popepaul.com. program that the teacher should de- mucus is such an important basic ele- cide before hand what and how much ment of fertility that there is no excuse November 10-13, 2005, Northwest to use. for not including information about it Family Services’ NFP Teacher Train- Parents and teachers can determine in a teaching medium such as this. ing, Portland, OR. Contact: Northwest what is appropriate for their children The script is inconsistent with regard Family Services, 4805 N.E. Glisan St., to view, and the program is equipped to the number of sperm in an ejacula- Portland, OR 97213; E-mail, with a lock out feature so that the tion, one time stating 200-500 million, [email protected]; Website: www.nwfs more graphic and sexually explicit another time stating 600 million, and .org; 503-215-6377; FAX, 503-215-6940; items can be blocked until the child is yet another time stating 700 million. Toll Free, 1-800-939-NWFS (6937). older. And, there is a statement that “if sperm The program has many wonderful are present in the uterine tube within features that explore the human body, 24 hours following ovulation, fertili- MATERIALS & the male and female reproductive sys- zation is possible.” While that is true, tems, sexual intimacy, pregnancy, la- there is no mention of the days before RESOURCES bor and birth. It also includes a sec- ovulation when the woman is fertile because of the cervical mucus. Generic NFP commercials now tion called “Life Choices” that can help Be aware that this is a secular re- available from One More Soul (OMS), young people recognize their own source and the script reflects this ap- three thirty second NFP TV com- goodness and responsibilities. proach. In line with this, the script mercials. Set in an attractive home, There are video segments showing states that “implantation” is the be- each commercial features a woman various functions of the human body ginning of pregnancy and does not speaking about NFP as a method of as well as animations, slide shows, state that human life begins with con- family planning that’s natural, graphs, illustrations and photos. There is a main index where every ception. It also implies that the em-

23 bryo and fetus eventually become a human being. There is no mention of ACADEMIC COURSE God as the creator and author of life. July 4-15, 2005, Bioethics Summer Course in Rome. And, although the section on sexual The Fourth Annual Bioethics Summer Course will be held at the Regina intimacy is fairly well done, there is no Apostolorum Pontifical University. This year's topic: “Generating humans: mention of marriage, only of a “com- procreation or production?” The summer course has three sessions. Potential mitted relationship.” In today’s world, students may participate in any one or all of the sessions. Students in the young people need more encourage- master's and doctoral program of the School of Bioethics can take these courses ment to aspire to lifelong marriage. free of charge. Full participation in any section with a passing test score is The section on STD’s states that the equivalent to a two-credit optional course in the Master's Degree program. only way to prevent STD’s is absti- Participants can obtain a certificate of participation. Classes are given in nence before marriage and fidelity English or Italian with simultaneous translation into English and Spanish. within (which is certainly true). Why Session 1: Sterility: curse, illness, or cure? (July 4 - 6) couldn’t this honesty have been ap- Objective : to obtain a clear concept of what sterility entails: its incidence, plied to the relation between marriage, causes; psychological, social, pastoral and medical aspects; public education sexual intimacy and intercourse? No with regards to fertility, etc. A holistic approach to the attention of infertility mention of marriage is made in that will also be analyzed from the reception of the infertile couple up to possible discussion (just the “committed rela- therapeutic options, adoption, etc. tionship”). Finally, the “Life Choices” Session 2: The meaning of human procreation (July 7 - 8, 11 - 12) section does offer many good chal- Objective: to develop a deeper understanding of the different concepts of lenges for young people to consider in human reproduction and the difference between reproduction and production: their relationships. sterility, fertility, procreation, paternity/maternity and the family. Thus arriv- Overall, this resource, as an educa- ing at the formulation of ethical principles concerned with assisted reproduc- tional tool, can supplement human tion: the status of the human embryo, the conjugal act, the family, the dignity of sexuality education. It needs to have children, and the future of children to be conceived. more accurate information about the Session 3: Assisted Reproduction (July 13 - 15) fertility cycle and especially the role Objective: to obtain the necessary scientific and technical knowledge on the of cervical mucus in human fertility. topic of assisted reproduction, a panoramic view of existing legislations, as well Also, all students need to know that as elements to be considered for an ethical judgment on the use of different human life begins at conception and reproductive technologies. that marriage is the foundation for the family and the only moral structure Contact: Dott. Valerio Paolini, vpaolini @upra.org Pontifical Athenaeum Regina for sexual intercourse and child bear- Apostolorum; Via degli Aldobrandeschi, 190, 00163, Rome, Italy. Tel: (39) 06-66527800, ing and rearing. Fax: (39) 06-66527814, [email protected], www. upra.org Contact: Quality Multimedia, LC, #112, 2255 N. University Parkway, Suite 15, Provo, Utah 84604-7506; 801-374- DDP/ NFP Orders: 1-866-582-0943; Order fax: 301-779- 3107; FAX, 801-375-4383; E-mail, 8596; [email protected] [email protected]; Website, www.life begins.com.

NFP Forum The NFP Forum is published biannually. Its purpose is to serve the (Diocesan Activity Report) Roman Catholic diocesan NFP programs of the United States through offering: national and international news of NFP activity; articles on Vol. 16/Nos. 1 & 2 significant Church teachings, NFP methodology and related topics; Winter/Spring 2005 and providing a forum for sharing strategies in program develop- Diocesan Development Program ment. Contributions are welcomed. All articles may be reproduced for Natural Family Planning. unless otherwise noted. For more information contact the editor. A program of the USCCB Committee The activities of the DDP for NFP are generously funded by a grant for Pro-Life Activities. from the Knights of Columbus. 3211 4th St., N.E. • Washington, DC 20017-1194, Theresa Notare, Editor Phone: 202-541-3240/3070 • Fax: 202-541-3054 E-mail:[email protected]

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