Degree Thesis Bachelor’s level (First cycle) A case study on the translation of Japanese Web novels
Author: Markus Svanberg Supervisor: Hiroko Inose Examiner: Herbert Jonsson Subject/main field of study: Translation Studies Course code: GJP23Y Higher education credits: 15 credits Date of examination: 2021-01-17
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Abstract: This thesis was aimed towards translated Japanese web novels to find out what kind of features they have and if the translated text kept the features of the original novel. Simultaneously, the translation techniques utilized in the translated novel were also examined. To find out the answer, two case studies were conducted and the web novels were chosen at random with some parameters set. An interview was conducted with translators of web novels to help reinforce or clear up doubts surrounding the results of the case study. The thesis also briefly describes the overall industry surrounding web novels. The randomly chosen translated novels did have most of the features of the original. Though some aspects were lost in translation. The translation techniques utilised were also overwhelmingly literal translation. Why that is has several possible answers among which the language proficiency of the translator or no formal training in translation.
Keywords: Japanese web novel. Web novel features. Web novel translation. Web novel translator interview.
Table of Contents 1 Introduction ...... 1 2 Background ...... 2 2.1 Different forms of novels relevant to the present study ...... 2 2.1.1 Web Novel ...... 2 2.1.2 Light Novel ...... 3 2.1.3 Keitai Shousetsu ...... 3 2.2 Structure of the industry ...... 3 2.3 Japanese WN translation industry ...... 4 3 Previous Studies ...... 6 4 Material and Methodology ...... 8 4.1 Material used in the Case Studies ...... 8 4.2 Interviews ...... 9 4.3 Procedures – case studies ...... 9 4.4 Procedures - Interview ...... 10 5 Results and Analysis ...... 11 5.1 Translation analysis of The Wolf won't sleep...... 11 5.1.1 ST features ...... 11 5.1.2 Translation Strategy ...... 12 5.1.3 Translation Quality...... 13 5.2 Results of the translation analysis of Jack of all Trades...... 14 5.2.1 ST features ...... 14 5.2.2 Translation features/Strategy ...... 16 5.2.3 Translation Quality...... 17 5.3 Interview ...... 19 6 Discussion ...... 22 7 Conclusion ...... 23 Bibliography ...... 24 Appendix ...... 25
1 Introduction Web novels can be found since the dawn of the internet. They are written in all kinds of languages on the internet in their own communities. This thesis will focus on the Japanese part of web novels, translated Japanese web novels to be exact. A more in- depth analysis will be conducted on the features of the translations of Japanese web novels. There are two questions that will be in focus in this paper, namely: 1. Are there any specific features observed in the translation of web novels? 2. Does the translation maintain the style of the original web novel? To answer these two questions case studies will be conducted as well as an interview with translators of the genre. The thesis has the following structure: The Introduction will be followed by a small section on terminology. Background will be divided into each form of novel, web novel, light novel and cell phone novel, followed by the structure of the industry of said novels. What novels and how they were chosen along with how the case study was conducted will be in the material and methodology section. The analysed case studies and interview are analysed one by one in the results and analysis section while they will be discussed relative to one another in the discussion. Following this, the research questions will be answered concretely in the conclusion. Due to little to no previous research on web novels, this thesis aims towards filling up the huge hole that has been present in the web novel genre. The terminology in this thesis can be difficult to understand, especially since it will be abbreviated. Ergo below are all the abbreviations that will be employed henceforth in this thesis be listed out as shown as below: Web novel, light novel, keitai shousetsu (携帯小説, Cell Phone Novel) will all be abbreviated to WN, LN and KS henceforth. Main character will be abbreviated to MC. Plural and singular will both be the same. During the text analysis, source text and translated text will all be abbreviated to ST, TT henceforth. Also source language and targeted language will be SL and TL.
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2 Background 2.1 Different forms of novels relevant to the present study In this section, three relatively new forms of novels written in Japanese language will be presented, namely web novel, light novel and cell phone novel. These genres are closely related to each other. The rise to prominence and the specific style of said novels will be discussed in each of the sub-sections. 2.1.1 Web Novel WN, also known as web fiction, is a form of literature that is being written on the web. The sentence structure and language style are almost identical to LN with both using simpler sentence structures and easier choice of words than novels for adults. If a WN is analysed compared to LN one may come to the conclusion that the language itself is rather similar, albeit less grammatical and spelling errors in LN. This is mainly due to the fact that one is working with publishers and professional proof-readers while WN tends to be a solo project. The biggest separating factors between the two are that WN are predominantly free to read whilst LN are a licenced work with a publishing company behind it. It is hard to determine when this genre came to be since it has always been there since the internet came. The universal hit, Sword Art Online started in 2002 as a WN which may be a good estimate when the boom came. WN authors are, in general, close to the readers. Usually WN are uploaded to websites that have systems where anyone can comment with criticism, praise or even suggestions which can help push a story to greater heights than it could have on its own, (e.g. Shousetsuka ni Narou (小説家になろう, “let’s become a novelist”) https://syosetu.com, Royal Road https://www.royalroad.com/home and Webnovel https://www.webnovel.com). It is common for famous LN to have started as a WN which garnered reputation and therefore either being found by a publishing company or the author contacts the publishing company himself to make a contract. A few examples would be Hiro Ainana’s (愛七ひろ) Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody (デスマーチからはじまる異世界狂想曲), Seirei Gensouki: Spirit Chronicles (精霊幻想記) written by Yuri Kitayama (北山結莉), Sword Art Online (ソードアートオンライン) written by Reki Kawahara (川原礫), and Overlord ( オーバーロード) who is written by Kugane Maruyama (丸山くがね). Of course, not all famous WN become a LN. Some are turned directly into a manga. One such example is The Wolf Won’t Sleep (狼は眠らない).
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2.1.2 Light Novel LN is a style of writing that is the bridge between manga, anime and literary novels. The LN is aimed towards older teens and younger adults and has a simpler structure and more often than not, simpler words compared to literary novels. Nowadays not only manga works are being adapted into anime, but LN have strong influences and are also being adapted into anime. Not only anime but all forms of media such as, but not limited to, manga, live action movies, video games, mobile games etc. The origin and the typical themes are discussed in the “2.2 Structure of the industry” section. 2.1.3 Keitai Shousetsu KS are novels that are written using the standard of an SMS or IM (Instant message), therefore each chapter can be as long as 200 words but usually has a length of 50 to 100 words. The language style also differs greatly from standard novels. According to Nishimura (2011) “The language style in KS is more fragmented, conversational in style, lacks predicates that otherwise express modalities such as tense and aspect”. You would suspect that KS would include emoji, a small digital image, but due to display issues, they are not prevalent in KS with the exception of music notes, hearts and stars (Coates 2010). KS received its boom thanks to the author Yoshi. He wrote the novel Deep Love in the early 2000. It later became a hit that received a printed version, film, and two live action series. Nishimura (2011) explains that one of the reasons why it has become so popular may be because of the subject matter. They usually base their novels on personal experiences in everyday settings. There has been criticism from the established literary community about KS. The 2008 special volume of the journal Literary World’s (Bungakukai, 文學界) special volume from 2008’s “Is the cell phone novel killing (the author)?” (「ケータイ小 説は『作家』を殺すか」) concluded that keitai novels are best categorized not as literature (Hutchinson, and Morton, 2016). However, a study by Nishimura (2011) did not agree with the anecdotal criticism and concluded that KS and literature are not all that different from each other. With all that said, it is quite a controversial topic and Takatsu, writer of Secondhand Memories, explains in an interview in 2013, that due to the word constraints, the poetic and emotional storytelling shines through. You also have to carefully choose line breaks, rhythm, punctuation and white space, the best of minimalism. 2.2 Structure of the industry The structure or the industries of WN and LN is ever changing yet always the same. To explain the phenomenon, we look towards the beginning of it all. The foundation of the term “light novel” dates back to 1977 (Wang, 2019). Some of the early works
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are, for example, “Slayers” (スレイヤーズ！), written by Hajime Kanzaka, a short story that started in 1989 and was published in Dragon magazine (Clements, and McCarthy, 2015). In this era of LN, fantasy was the most common genre and it would not diversify until the start of the 21st century. In the beginning, LN were something that came out in magazines, similar to the old American magazine Pulp fiction. This is important because of the arrival of prominence of the WN that would, for the most part, change the LN structure. WN have been around since the beginning of the web, but became more accessible in the 21st century. Web pages such as Arcadia, founded in 2000 and Shousetsuka ni Narou (小説家になろう, “let’s become a novelist”) that was founded in 2004, provided easy, accessible places where you could start realizing your dream of becoming a novelist. At the same time, it also provided a place for the community to interact with the authors via comments. Not only readers were drawn to this phenomenon, but also publishers searching for the new hit started scouring the web for sites like the ones previously mentioned. This opened up a whole new path for writers. A path to gain recognition and land a contract with big publishers to start moving away from writing WN, since it is predominantly free, to products which have to be purchased. Some authors stop writing the WN when they land a contract, e.g. Overlord written by Kugane Maruyama whilst others continue with the WN until they are completely done. One such example is Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody written by Yuri Kitayama. At this point the overall structure of the industry has taken a drastic turn, it has become driven by the internet’s WN rather than more of the conventional methods. Hence the structures are ever changing yet always the same. 2.3 Japanese WN translation industry When a translator decides to start translating a project of a WN, one has a couple of different options. One could either start their own Translation Group and start up a website and start posting from there. Another option is that the translator puts up their project on someone else’s website and still gets the profits from the translated project. The third and last option is to join an already existing group that is currently hiring translators to either start a new project or bolster up their line up for an already existing project. Doing the last option will more often than not give you a salary but as a downside, you do not choose your own project anymore and the revenue from donations, ad revenue, and subscriptions will go to the group owner and not the translator, unless stated in the contract. Independent translation group websites that are completely free are no charity workers nor do they lose any money. On the contrary, they make more than enough to stay afloat and make it their side job or real job. There are a couple of different methods they have to monetize themselves. First off, they have ads. The bigger the traffic to their site, the more they make from ad revenue. It is in their own best interest to make it as convenient as possible for readers. Another big revenue they
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have is from donations. They usually either have a donation button or they have a Patreon page. Patreon (https://www.patreon.com) is a website that lets fans support the translator group by offering them a monthly membership. To give a perspective, Shin Translation (https://shintranslations.com/) have six tiers of monthly membership, cheapest one starting from $1 to the most expensive one at $100 per month. This usually gives the readers the ability to read ahead and be able to read the piled up chapters. Piled up chapters are already translated chapters that have yet to be released in order to be able to have a stable release schedule, in case something happens that keeps the translator away from translating. Normally you have a certain amount of chapters piled up so that in case something happens that might hinder you from translating you can keep your release schedule. Other translation groups such as Sousetsuka (https://www.sousetsuka.com/) also have an option of paying whatever you want once, a donation, or as they call it, “Buy me a Coffee”. They make incentives for readers to help the translator group out with more chapters per x amount of dollars. This will give the readers bonus chapters on top of the original chapter that they are translating. For example, the normal release schedule is three chapters per week but if everyone donates a certain amount of dollars, they get four chapters that week. The above holds true for smaller groups that are translating on the web but for some of the behemoths out there, e.g. Webnovel (https://www.webnovel.com/) which is owned by Qidian (https://www.qidian.com/) a Chinese company for WN, have a micro transaction based website. On the English version, Webnovel, they have everything from Japanese, Korean, Chinese translated works and original works from the community. When a novel becomes popular, translated or original, they sign a contract and then they lock up toward 90 percent or more of the chapters and make you pay their own currency “Coins” to unlock them.
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3 Previous Studies There have been numerous studies done about translation of Japanese literature, both modern and the newer formats such as LN. However, the latter has mostly been done in Japanese and not much has been published in English. Not much has been published about translation of the newer formats previously mentioned in this thesis, but there have been some publications on the industry and how it came to be so popular. Hutchinson, Rachael, and Leith Douglas Morton’s Routledge Handbook of Modern Japanese Literature book from 2016 is one such example where they compile Japan's modern literary production. They have different sections for different topics which also involves KS, LN and WN. They include both how they came to be so popular in Japan and an introduction into how they came to be. They also discuss how they are intertwined and relate to other forms of popular cultures. KS has been the focus of quite a few studies but studies focuses on the linguistic and cultural side instead of the translation. Coates’s study The Language of Mobile Phone Novels: Japanese Youth, Media Language and Communicative Practice in 2010 had the focus more on the cultural part with emphasis on youth culture. Coates went into detail about the linguistic style of KS. Coates concluded that keitai shousetsu reproduces spoken features by using tactics of written language. Furthermore, Coates (2010) found “Japanese youth ornament their texts with symbols to create interest and to replicate the playful feel of spoken conversation” (p. 10). On the other hand Nishimura’s study in 2011 in the book Digital Discourse: Language in the New Media went to dispute the harsh criticism KS received from both mainstream media and public commentators. Nishimura conducted, “…as explained on page 86, an quantitative analysis of linguistic and stylistic similarities and differences between keitai and conventional novels (86).” Her conclusion was that “Linguistic and stylistic analysis shows that keitai and conventional novels are quantitatively not very different. However keitai novels reveal a clear preference for conversational styles, while conventional novels have more in common with typical written language.” (Nishimura 2011: 100) She also goes on about the noticeable difference in string length and that KS employ kanji which are a bit simpler. In contrast to the papers published in English, in Japanese, there have been multiple studies that have been published on translation of the previously mentioned newer formats. Ishii , et al. (2012) has done a study on the gender expressions of characters in manga and LN with focus on how there are translated characters whose gender cannot be identified. The study states that if the translators are Japanese, they have literal translations while non-Japanese translators have free translation styles. In this study they studied four manga works and one LN, and the translations of said books whilst taking into consideration if the translator is Japanese or foreigner.
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Tamai examined the structure of the story in the book “That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime” (転生したらスライムだった件) written by Fuse. He examined the first book of the story throughout all the different versions, WN, LN, manga and anime. He noticed that the structure of the story as well as the ways the characters are being portrayed changed by the new publications. He also mentions that all the other works are made on the premise on the WN but not confined to it.
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4 Material and Methodology 4.1 Material used in the Case Studies In the case study we have randomly chosen two books, namely The Wolf won’t sleep (狼は眠らない), started in 2017 and is written by Shien BIS (支援 BIS), and Jack of all trades (異世界に来た僕は器用貧乏で素早さ頼りな旅をする), started in 2016 and is written by Kamifuusen (紙風船). Jack of all trades has two known English titles, Jack of all trades which is the title we are using in this thesis, and I Came to Another World as a Jack of All Trades and a Master of None to Journey. The novels were found using the website Novel Updates (https://www.novelupdates.com/). On their website there was a search function that you could set restrictions to, named “Series Finder”. With this tool the parameters of: Web Novel, Japanese and a rating above 4 (from a scale 1 to 5) were set up. The books chosen also must be a part of the genera 異世界 (Isekai, alternative universe). The Isekai genre was chosen due to the popularity of the genre in WN. The chosen chapter we conduct the case study on is the chapter where the MC appears in the other world. This, by pure coincidence happened to be in chapter two in both novels. The Wolf won’t sleep had a total of 901 characters in the chosen chapter and Jack of all trades had 3564 total characters in the chapter. The novels was read through a website called Shousetsu wo Yomou! (小説を読も う！,”Let’s read novels!”) which is connected to the website Shousetsuka ni Narou (小説家になろう, “let’s become a novelist”). The Wolf won’t sleep is a novel about two adventurers, the MC and his friend, who discovers a so-called black hole which they proceed to jump into. It is said that there are riches and powerful items within these black holes and hence why people are searching for them. But many people who allegedly have jumped into those black holes have not returned, hence the possibility of danger is high. This novel is being translated by a group called “Sousetsuka” (https://www.sousetsuka.com/) which has four projects currently on their website. Jack of all trades is a novel about a person who worked at a convenience store who got murdered and in his final passing moment, he got summoned into another world with the unique skill jack of all trades, master of none. He wakes up in an unknown place with nobody around and starts to explore the area. The novel follows along the MC to explore the unknown world. This novel is being translated by a group called “Tiger Translations” (https://tigertranslations.org). This group has currently nine different novels which are being translated.
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4.2 Interviews Novel Updates (https://www.novelupdates.com/) was used to search up different translation groups. Three different mediums were used to contact them; email, Discord (https://discord.com/new) and lastly, the implemented chatting system if the translation group has one. Here are a couple of sites that were contacted; Shin Translation (https://shintranslations.com/), Sousetsuka (https://www.sousetsuka.com/), Translation group Word except (Big group) (https://wordexcerpt.com/), Miwu is Bored (https://miwuisbored.wordpress.com/), daydrop (https://daydrop.nowaki.net/), Hinjaku Honyaku (https://hinjakuhonyaku.com/). 4.3 Procedures – case studies The texts will be broken up sentence by sentence, making each sentence a unique case. The cases will be following the format: 1.X if it is from the novel “The Wolf Won't Sleep” and 2.X if it is from the novel “Jack of all trades”, where X is the case number. Then each sentence will be analysed to see which translation strategies were employed in the TT. This will all be done in the program “Excel” with each column labelled as the following: Case number, ST, TT, Translation Technique and lastly, Comments on TT. During the case study, we will abbreviate a couple of words. Mistranslation as MT and misinterpretation as MI. In the Results and Analysis section, these two texts will be analysed separately and in the discussion section of the thesis, the similarities between the two will be discussed. The translation analysis will be done by applying the translating techniques used in Hasegawa’s book The Routledge Course in Japanese Translation. The techniques used in the book are the following: Borrowing: Lone words, e.g. karaoke, manga, anime. Calque: Lone translation, is a special kind of borrowing whereby elements of an expression in the SL are translated literally into the TL. E.g. 秋祭り (Aki matsuri) translates to autumn festival Literal translation: Literal translation is word-for-word replacement of words closely following the SL syntactic structure in the TL, normally at clause level defined as “transparent translation” in Newmark’s a textbook of translation (1988). To have a clear definition we will consider the following literal translation if they contain one or more of these cases: 1. Not changing information and/or its order within a sentence. 2. Not changing order of sentences within a paragraph. 3. Not changing sentence units. Transposition: involves rendering of an SL element using TL elements which are semantically, but not formally, equivalent. 9
Modulation: is a variation of the form of the message that is accomplished by changing its point of view. Equivalence: refers to the strategy that creates “equivalent texts” by using different structural or stylistic methods. Adaption: is used when the type of situation in the ST is totally unknown in the TL culture. Omission: Omission is a drastic strategy, but in some contexts, omitting some part of the ST may be feasible if the ST is exceedingly repetitious or if the information being conveyed is judged not vital but, rather, distracting to the reader. Addition: Addition is a strategy used to give information that is not given or is implied in the ST. This is the basic description of all the techniques that will be applied to the case study to help us understand and categorize the translation problems.
4.4 Procedures - Interview Interviews with translator groups that are established on the web have been conducted to get informed opinions on how both the industry is operating, from a translator point of view, and what kind of problems there are with translating the text. The information that we wanted from the interview is about the WN industry and the problems they have with the text. The questions we asked the translators are as follows: 1. How long have you been translating web novels? 2. Why did you start translating web novels? 3. Is translating your main job or is it something you do on the side? 4. What difficulties do you have while translating web novels? 5. Could you give an example of a typical translation problem that you find difficult or commonly recurring? 6. How do you personally solve your translations problems mentioned above? Do note that everything that could be related to them personally will be omitted or otherwise changed. Translation groups name, personal details, and the book they are translating will be scrambled or omitted completely. This is to protect the translator’s identity. The responses from the translation groups were not sufficient so in order to proceed, a deeper interview was conducted with one of them. It was conducted over the program Discord.
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5 Results and Analysis In this section we will go into detail about each of the texts separately and in the discussion section, they will be discussed compared to each other. The overview of the case studies can be seen in table 1 and 2 respectively. Since one sentence is one case, multiple translation techniques within a case are a possibility. The Wolf won't Sleep Total cases Literal Translation Modulation Omission 37 36 (97.3%) 2 (5.4%) 4 (10.8%) Table 1, summary of the case study of The Wolf Won’t Sleep.
Jack of All Trades Total cases Literal Translation Modulation Omission Addition Borrowing 185 167 (90.3%) 13 (7.0%) 16 (8.6%) 3 (1.6%) 7 (3.8%) Table 2, summary of the case study of Jack of All Trades.
5.1 Translation analysis of The Wolf won't sleep. 5.1.1 ST features The ST has interesting features, among which being easy to read and has almost exclusively straight forward sentence structures is one of them. Example 1, Case 1.7 ST: レカンは、息を吸って吐くのと同じように、ごく自然に 索 敵を行うのだ。 Rekan wa, iki o sutte haku no to onajiyōni, goku shizen ni sakuteki o okonau noda. TT: Lecan is detecting his surroundings as natural as he's breathing. This is one of the longest sentences in the chapter. It is straightforward, simple and with no obscureness. Straight to the point. The ST writing style can only be described as a narrative writing style which heavily focuses on what the main character sees and hears or what is going on around him. The Narrator is not always the main character, it is sometimes viewed from a third person, almost omniscient point of view. An important point of the ST is the use of game terminology. We are shown terminology such as, but not limited to: “索敵 (Sakuteki, Enemy search/Searching
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for the enemy), 緑の点 (Midori no ten, Green dots), ボス (Bosu, Boss)”. Words such as these are frequently used with next to no explanations that go with them. Along with these we have abilities, magical spells, ranks of monsters e.g. Boss monster, magical beast etc. If the reader has next to no previous knowledge of game terminology, following this WN may be a hard task. To explain the “Green dots” for example, it almost always refers to “friendly” NPC’s (Non-playable characters, an entity within the game that is not controlled by a player) that you can see on your “mini-map” (a map which displays entities and terrain at all times). See fig 2.1.
Fig 1. Pictures taken from World of Warcraft, published by Blizzard Entertainment. 5.1.2 Translation Strategy In the translated version, the most common strategies to utilise are literal translation, modulation and omission. Literal translations were used in all but three sentences. There were no other strategies employed in the translated text that were analysed. Literal translation is the most basic strategy used to translate texts and can be useful for readers to understand the ST. However, as described in Hasegawa’s book The Routledge Course in Japanese Translation (2012). Nevertheless, overly close correspondence to the syntax of the SL can seriously impair the effectiveness of communication in the TL and can even come out sounding ridiculous (173). The translated version has almost the identical sentence structure as the ST, as close as you do with the difference in sentence structure between English and Japanese. Example 2, Case 1.21 ST: だが、みわたすかぎり木々と山々が広がっており、上には 果てしない空がある。 Daga, miwatasu kagiri kigi to yamayama ga hirogatte ori, ue ni wa hateshinai sora ga aru.
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TT: However, trees and mountains spread out as far as his eyes can see, with endless sky above. As shown in example 2, the sentence structure of the ST and TT are as close as identical. This leads to the flow of the text may not feel as natural in the TT as it does in the ST. While translating novels, the flow of the text is among the most important aspects. Just like Newmark talks about in his A Textbook of Translation (1988), the naturalness of the TT must be kept. He also mentions that sometimes you must ‘disengage’ yourself from the ST and only focus on the TT as though no original existed. 5.1.3 Translation Quality The overall quality of the translation is fairly low with plenty of mistranslation and misinterpretations. To give an example of misinterpretation: Example 3, Case 1.17 ST:〈黒穴〉に飛び込んだことは、はっきりと覚えている 〈Kuro ana〉 ni tobikonda koto wa, hakkiri to oboete iru TT: He remembers clearly when he jumped into the
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a positive effect in the TT, one such case is redundancy. But in this case, more often than not, it has a negative effect. One such example would be: Example 5, Case 1.8 ST: 〈立体知覚〉 で近距離の(索敵)を 行い、〈生命感知〉 で 長距離の(索敵)を 行う。 〈Rittai chikaku〉 de kinkyori no (sakuteki) o okonai,〈seimei kanchi 〉 de chōkyori no (sakuteki) o okonau. TT: <3D Perception> to detect short range,
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ST: まぁここが日本のド田舎 でしたーなんてことだったら恥ず かしいが。 Ma~a koko ga Nihon no do inaka deshita-- nante kotodattara hazukashīga TT: Well, this would be quite embarrassing if it turned out to be nothing more than a countryside in Japan. The start of this sentence has a colloquial register that the character uses. If this was a formal text, that would be left out completely from the sentence. Also to note in this sentence is the ド田舎 (doinaka, remote countryside) which also indicated colloquial word choice in the text. Colloquial register is also frequently used at the end of sentences like in the example below: Example 8, Case 2.56 ST: ちょっと緊張するな……。 Chotto kinchō suru na……. TT: I was becoming a little nervous… This is part of the colloquial register and only used in casual speech. The ST, not only has the colloquial style to it but also has straight forward sentences. To show this, here is an example. Example 9, Case 2.5 ST: 夢現の中、目を開く。草が見える。草？ 意味が分からない まま、ゆっくりと体を起こし、周囲を見回す。 Yumeutsutsu no naka, me o hiraku. Kusa ga mieru. Kusa? Imi ga wakaranai mama, yukkuri to karada o okoshi, shūi o mimawasu. TT: Half awake, I open my eyes. I see grass. Grass? Uncomprehending, I slowly pull myself up and take in my surroundings. We can notice two points from the above example. How it is described, i.e. in first person narrative. The sentence structure is simple, straight forward, no intricate long sentence. To better show the second point, here is another example: Example 10, Case 2.40 ST: もし奴らに襲われるなら僕はそれに抵抗しなきゃいけない。 Moshi yatsura ni osowa rerunara boku wa sore ni teikō shinakya ikenai. TT: If they decided to attack me, then I would need to fight back. 15
The sentence structure is always short, concise and to point that leaves little to nothing to the reader’s imagination or wit. The story is described in a narrative writing style that is focused on what the main characters does, feels, hears and sees. Although this is not to be confused with a descriptive style since it is not describing anything in great detail, rather it may employ descriptive writing to make the narration more vibrant. Example 11, Case 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 (First paragraph) ST: 駅前に似た冷たさが肌を刺す。何だろう、肌もしっとりす る。しっとりするが、チクチクもする。なんだろう？ Ekimae ni nita tsumetasa ga hada o sasu. Nanidarou, hada mo shittori suru. Shittori suru ga, chikuchiku mo suru. Nandarou? TT: I feel a chill reminiscent of the nearby train station sting my skin. What was this? My skin felt damp. Damp, but also prickly. What was it? The narrator in this story is the main character. His senses are always included in one way or another, i.e. monologue or through his thinking process but the author does not include any other beings’ thoughts that are not said out loud. One could make an argument for the novel to have certain game elements, such as being granted a skill (Jack of all trades, master of none) or being summoned to a presumably an unknown world with 魔物 (mamono, monster). While it is true that it does contain these elements, the story is written in such a way that anyone, even if not having any knowledge of these elements, would understand the text with little to no problem. 5.2.2 Translation features/Strategy The TT has a variety of translation techniques that are being utilised, though some more than others. The most common translation technique was overwhelmingly literal translation but also omissions, additions, modulation and borrowing. The sentence order was also unchanged in the TT. Example 12 below is an example of the literal translation which was common in the TT. Example 12, Case 2.19 ST: つまり僕は何か、何者かなのか何物なのかは分からないが、 何かの意思によって召喚されたことになる。 Tsumari boku wa nani ka, nanimono ka na no ka nanimonona no ka wa wakaranai ga, nanika no ishi ni yotte shōkan sa reta koto ni naru. TT: In other words, something or someone, I didn’t know which, had summoned me for a reason.
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The ST and TT are almost identical in structure with the exception of an added comma and the last sentence is reversed due to the differences in Japanese and English. Borrowing was employed while translating sounds from monsters such as グギュ ルル…… (Gugyururu) got turned into Googururu… in the TT. Addition was used once when explaining something related to kanji. The place the main character woke up at in the novel was the meaning of his name in Japanese which cannot be translated without addition, which the translator used by putting a bracket in the sentence. Example 13, Case 2.31 ST: 何の因果だろうか、この僕 、『上社 朝霧』の名と同じロ ケーションに放り出された訳だ。 Nani no inga darou ka, kono boku ,“Kamiyashiro Asagiri” no na to onaji rokēshon ni hōridasareta wakeda. TT: What sort of trick of fate was this, I had been thrown into a location that was the same as my own name, ‘Asagi Kamiyashiro.’(*Asagi = morning mist) Modulation was being utilised in a variety of places such as this one: Example 14, Case 2.64 ST: これで棒は槍に生まれ変わった。 Kore de bō wa yari ni umarekawatta. TT: And just like that, you have a spear. The ST literary means “With this, the pole/stick is now reborn as a spear” which the translator modulated, as in the viewpoint was changed. Only when sentences would not be clear by literal translation, did the author employ modulation. The notion of something being “reborn” is rarely used in English when not talking about reincarnation e.g. a phoenix. Hence the translator had to modulate the sentence. 5.2.3 Translation Quality The TT only has a few grammatical errors within the text. Most of which comes from the fact that the translator is mixing present tense with past tense. The ST is mostly in present tense while the TT is mixing them and putting past tense where it does not belong. Example 15, Case: 2.72 ST: 頭の中で思い浮かべるが、特にそういうのは表示されない。 Atama no naka de omoiukaberu ga, tokuni sō iu no wa hyōji sa renai. 17
TT: I think of this, but no such images appeared in my head. Here he is mixing present tense, think, with the latter of the sentence is in past tense. Only looking at the TT the author would either have to change the “think” to “thought” or the “appeared” to “appear”. Only a few times did the author not properly conjugate the verbs. Here are a few of them: Example 16, Case 2.103, 2.104 ST: 肌が薄い緑。尖った耳まで裂けた口から乱杭歯が覗いてい る。 Hada ga usui midori. Togatta mimi made saketa kuchi kara ranguiba ga nozoite iru. TT: “Its skin was a light green. Its mouth was so wide that its corners reach its pointed ears, and I could see its uneven teeth.” Example 17, Case 2.135 ST: 今がチャンスとばかりにうつ伏せに倒れた其奴のうなじに 槍を当てる。 Ima ga chansu to bakari ni utsubuse ni taoreta soitsu no unaji ni yari o ateru. TT: “Here’s my chance, I think. It had fallen face first into the dirt, and I point the tip of the spear into the back of its neck.” Both of the above sentences have the same error. Both are not conjugated to past tense. In the first sentence it should have been “reached” and the second one “pointed”. It could also have been because the translator did not correctly understand the ST. Japanese mixes past and non-past tenses to describe past time, as can be seen in example 17, 覗いている. Small mistake but a reoccurring one. Other than the incorrect tense of verbs, the author only made one small mistake in the sentence ““You-you have got be kidding me…!” which is that he didn’t add “got to be”. Conclusively, the grammatical part was fairly good with limited mistakes. The ST was mostly written in first person and present tense which the translator did not catch all the time. In the TT, it mixes between present and past tense which makes a few discrepancies appear. Along with these discrepancies, there were a few cases of ST misinterpretation. One such example is: Example 18, Case 2.14 ST: しかしそこに存在するはずのナイフは無く、おまけにその ナイフが貫いた制服にも傷はなかった。
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Shikashi soko ni sonzai suru hazu no naifu wa naku, omake ni sono naifu ga tsuranuita seifuku ni mo kizu wa nakatta. TT: But the knife that should have been there was gone, there weren’t even any traces of the wound on my clothes. Here what the misinterpretation was, is that the wound, (傷) is not referring to the wound that should have been on his stomach, it is referring to the clothes. The kanji that is being used here can also be used on things such as cloths, i.e. a tear, and not only to wounds. There were some other instances where the author added unnecessary information into the TT. In one place of the story, the main character took a stance with a weapon that the author added “offensive” stance which were not included in the ST. Example 19, Case 2.70 ST: 試しに槍を構えてみよう。 Tameshi ni yari o kamaete miyou. TT: I try holding the spear in an offensive stance. 5.3 Interview The deeper interview was a one to one discussion about translation, WN and who “he” is as a person. I want to clarify once again that all notions of names, gender or anything that could be linked to this individual are all either fake, e.g. name, or omitted completely. We will refer to this individual as a man named “K”. A couple of things were interesting in the responses that were given to us. Most of the information from K was in line with the results gathered from the case studies. Here are a few examples. Note that this conversation was in Swedish and therefore is being translated into English. Q: Can you go into detail on how and why you decided to start translating web novels? A: Because I was not satisfied with previous translations after having read the source text. We wanted to know what exactly he was not satisfied with so we asked in the deeper interview. Q: You mentioned that you were not satisfied with previous translations, care to elaborate? A: It was noticeable that the translated text was incomprehensible, as it had grammatical problems and the translators didn’t have English as their mother tongue. It was noticeable that the translator did it in his free time as a hobby and was not serious about it at all.
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This, although a bit stronger, was in line with what the case studies found. Grammatical errors were quite frequent and features in ST were not properly translated into the TT. Since K brought up that they did not have English as their mother tongue, inquiries about K were made. Q: If I may, mind if you tell us about yourself? A: Sure, I’m in my mid-twenties, studying at university. I learned Japanese while studying abroad in Japan for a year. Permission from K was granted to show the data above. The interview continued: Q: Why did you start translating, and where did you learn it? A: Oh, I have no formal training in translation and I started translating in order to improve my Japanese. This was an aspect which was not previously thought of. Could the translator of WN translate because they wanted to improve their language proficiency and not because they wanted to get into translation? This will be further discussed in the discussion section. From this point, the text in WN was discussed. Q: What, according to you, is typical of WN? A: It’s simple to work with. The text isn’t hard to understand. More confirmations from K which were found by the earlier case study. Q: What is the hardest part about translating WN? 22 A: Mistakes in the text (ST) which makes it hard to translate. The author (of the ST) makes grammatical mistakes and tries to make callbacks but the author (of the ST) does not remember it correctly. He (The author of the ST) names a thing something, which he later does not remember and calls it by another name several chapters later. Due to the case study being only a chapter long, the callback problem he described could not be distinguished. The grammatical mistakes did come out during the case study. Since he mentions that both the ST and the TT have grammatical mistakes the question about not having an editor followed. Q: Do you have an editor for your translated text? A: I am my own proofreader. As expected, he did not have an editor. But since he mentioned that he translates because he wants to improve his language skills, maybe it was for his own sake and not anyone else’s? Since no editor is being utilized, the interview continued: Q: What are you careful with while translating? A: Word comprehension. Japanese can be weird with words that are written either in kanji or without kanji.
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Since he had no formal training in translation, what he was careful with was word comprehension. It is an important part of understanding the ST but there are many more aspects which need to be considered before starting to translate a text. This gave some sort of understanding to what a non-trained translator would think about when translating.
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6 Discussion Both TTs had similar techniques used and both had used literal translation as their baseline. To use literal translation to this extent in literary novels, in which semantic or even free translation are normally employed, was surprising. It may be because the translators did not have formal training in translation before starting to translate WN. It could also be because the style of WN, which is straightforward and easy sentence structure, allows for a literal translation to be applied more easily. The translators did not commonly have English as their mother tongue which can also be seen in the TT with all the grammatical errors that were found. The grammatical errors were commonly verb conjugations and mixing of tenses. The mixing of tenses could be due to the typical Japanese narration which mixes past and non-past forms which the translator did not interpret properly. This may also be a big part of why they opted for literal translation. It could have been a problem exclusive to the two novels randomly chosen for this thesis, but since both were chosen at random, the likeliness that only these two are special cases can with relative certainty be ruled out. Since translators of both TTs chose to employ literal translation, some elements of the features that were found in the ST are also present in the TT. Both texts had not altered the game terminology in any way, with the exception of one mistranslation in Jack of all trades. Both TT also had kept the straightforward, simple sentence structure used in ST including an almost exact sentence to sentence translation with the same sentence order as in the ST. The Wolf won’t sleep TT had the exact number of sentences as in the ST, 37 to be exact. Although Jack of all trades had a total of 185 cases, only 4 sentences were added in the TT compared to the ST. but those added sentences did not add any new information, they only broke up the ST sentences into two. We also noted how some features of the novels did not translate well into the TT. The novel The Wolf won’t sleep had a theme of jumping between first and an almost omniscient third person narration which did not get translated at all into the TT. Same with the novel Jack of all trades, it had a style of sometimes talking directly to the audience which the TT failed to deliver. This may have been conscious decisions, but due to the amounts of mistranslations and misinterpretations present in the texts, the possibility of the author not fully grasping the features and styles used in the ST is quite high. The interview also confirms the previous notion that the translators of WN do not have formal training in translation and do not have English as their mother tongue. But the interview brought up an entirely different aspect of why these people may be translating. It came up that the interviewed translator was doing it to improve his language skills. He also claims that he is doing it for his own sake. Could this also hold true for other translators in other translation groups? Doubtable, but requires more information in order to pass a judgement on the issue.
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7 Conclusion The features of translated web novels are that they have easy language, grammatical mistakes, translated with literal translation technique as baseline. They do employ omission and modulation to some extent but it is apparent that they have no formal training in translation studies. All the grammatical errors that occur, verb conjugations and mixing tenses, point to the fact that they do not have English as their mother tongue. It is important to note that grammatical errors that were found did not exist in the ST, although the ST did have grammatical errors in it as well. The interviewed individual even started translating WN because he was not satisfied with the translated WN out there. Does the TT keep the style in ST? This was quite a problematic question to answer directly. Some aspects of the ST were not translated while others were maintained. Some non-kept aspects were that one text had the style which talks to the audience directly sometimes which were completely omitted in the TT. Another aspect was that they jumped between first person and third person, or kept it vague while the TT chose one and kept with it. The general style of simple and straightforward sentence structure was kept identical with the translators opting to do a sentence to sentence translation and have almost the same number of sentences. The sentence elements and sentence units are also being kept to an unnatural degree. They sacrificed naturalness and readability to have the same sentence structure as the ST. This may have been due to previously mentioned lack of formal training or lack of language proficiency but no such conclusions can be made from this case study. This thesis focused on doing two in-depth case studies on randomly selected novels but the sample size may be too small. If done again, one should have as many as one can to get a clearer view of the features of both the ST and TT. Also what could not be determined in this thesis is whether or not different translation groups have different levels of quality control. It may have been an entirely different result if the chosen novels had other translation groups that did the TT but no such things can be said with absolute certainty.
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Appendix See attached PDF files for appendices.
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Translation Case ST TT comment on TT Technique Grammatical error. Sense should be 1.1 レカンは目を覚ました。 Lecan comes to his sense. Literal translation in past tense. Astonished to find himself sound MT. He is astonished "that " he was 1.2 自分が熟睡していたことに、驚きを覚えた。 Literal translation asleep. sound asleep. The ST talks about Lecan's sleep is Lecan usually never sleeps too normally light while in the TT he 1.3 普段、レカンの眠りは浅い 。 Modulation deep . modulated it to become "never sleeps too deep" Grammatical error. "woke up "is not Even if he did , he would the correct verb conjugation, "Wake 寝ていても、近づく者がいたり、物音がした immediately woke up when 1.4 Literal translation up" . りすればすぐ目を覚ます。 someone approached him, or if MT. He would wake up "if", not there was a sound nearby. "when". こんなふうに 深い眠りについたのはいつ以 To the point that he couldn't 1.5 remember the last time he Literal translation Word for word the same 来か思い出せないほどだ。 slumbered this deep.
Even while surprised, he performs 1.6 驚きながらも、油断なく索敵を行う。 Literal translation 索敵 is Game terminology. enemy search in full alert .
レカンは、息を吸って吐くのと同じように、 Lecan is detecting his 1.7 surroundings as natural as he's Literal translation Word for word the same ごく自然に 索敵を行うのだ。 breathing. In the TT, the 索敵 is omitted on
<3D Perception> to detect short both occasions. It is not clear in the 〈立体知覚〉で近距離の索敵を 行い、〈生 Literal translation 1.8 range,
おもむろに上半身を起こし、そのまますうっ He abruptly raised his upper body Literal translation entirely missing. It could be either of 1.14 と 立ち上がった。 and stood up. omission two things in this case, either that he stood up "straight" or that he he stood "quietly". 1.15 森のなかだ。 It's inside a forest. Literal translation いったいどうしてこんな所にいるのだろう。 1.16 Why is he in such a place. Literal translation
MT. The ST clearly indicates that it 〈黒穴〉に飛び込んだことは、はっきりと覚 He remembers clearly when he 1.17 Literal translation is not "when " but "that " he jumped えている。 jumped into the
Then he lost consciousness while "Then" in the start of the sentence is 1.18 穴のなかを落ちてゆく途中で気を失った。 Literal translation falling inside the hole. not necessary.
1.19 そして今 ここにいる。 And then he found himself here. Literal translation In other words, this is the world at 1.20 つまりここは、〈黒穴〉の先の世界なのだ。 Literal translation the end of the
だが、みわたすかぎり木々と山々が広がって However, trees and mountains It is previously mentioned that he 1.21 spread out as far as his eyes can Literal translation only have one eye, hence it should おり、上には果てしない空がある。 see, with endless sky above . say eye here, not eyes .
どうみても、穴のなかの世界のようではない It doesn't look like a world inside a 1.22 Literal translation 。 hole no matter how you slice it. MI. Here the word じっくりis not apart of 体を回転(turning around), but it is apart of He observes the surroundings with ぐるりと体を回転させながら、残された右目 観察する(observation). 1.23 his remaining right eye while Literal translation でじっくりと周囲を観察する。 slowly turning around. じっくり also has the meaning of doing it not only slowely, but carefully, thoroughly which also is lost in the TT. MT. みおぼえ is loosly translated here as "seen" but the actual 生えている木や草の形が、みおぼえのないも He's never seen the shapes of the 1.24 Literal translation のばかりだ。 leaves and grass here. meaning of the word is "remembrance; recollection; recognition ". MT. いろんな国 got translated here as "all over the places". The actual meaning of the word is "various Lecan has traveled all over the レカンは世界中のいろんな国を旅してきたが countries". places around the world, yet the In the TT, "something that don't 1.25 、その旅の記憶に照らしてみても、この森の trees and grass in this forest are Literal translation exist in his memories of his travels." 木や草は異質だ。 something that don't exist in his memories of his travels. is quite the weird sentence since a memory don't "exist", or the notion that memories exists is not normally used in English His physical condition is 1.26 体調はきわめて良好だ。 Literal translation extremely well. 1.27 空気もうまい。 The air is nice too. Literal translation
MT. Here, どこかしら became だが、その空気の匂いも、どこかしら これ But he feels that this air is nothing "Nothing like " in the TT. It is too 1.28 まで 知っていた空気とちがうような気がす Literal translation like any air he knows. strong since the meaning is closer to る。 "Somehow". So he feels like the air is somehow different… Mispelling of the MC's name. Grammatical error. Since all of his senses "signals". "Unknown" and "Foreign" do have the same connotation, although "Foreign" also has "Strange" in it All of Leican's keen senses signal レカンの鋭敏な感覚のすべてが、ここがみし Literal translation aswell, so it is weird that he used 1.29 that he's in an unknown foreign らぬ異世界であると告げている。 Modulation them together. The word 異世界 is world. translated here as "foreign" which is a MT since it is parallel or alternative world. The TT modulated that he is "in" an unknown world while the ST says that this "is" an unknown world.
The first part of the sentence in the ST tells us that he "範囲を移動" 〈生命感知〉の範囲を移動させて、さらに which means "to move the He enlarged the range of
1.32 つまりボウドがいない。 In other word, Boudo isn't here. Literal translation
Looks like he fell in an awfully far Grammatical error. Awfully far 1.33 ひどく離れた場所に落ちてしまったようだ。 Literal translation place. "away" place. 1.34 （いや……もしかすると） --No... Perhaps. Literal translation もしかすると、ボウドは、ここではない別の Perhaps, Boudo fell in another 1.35 Literal translation 場所に落ちてしまったのかもしれない。 place, an entirely different place .
今は ボウドのことを心配している場合では This isn't the time to worry about 1.36 Literal translation ない。 Boudo.
とにかく、まずは自分の安全を確保しなくて First things first , I've got to secure Literal translation 1.37 とにかくis omitted in the TT. はならない。 my safety. Omission
Translation ST TT Comments on TT Case technique I feel a chill reminiscent of the Here the TT used "reminiscent" instead 駅前に似た冷たさが肌を刺す nearby train station sting my Literal Translation of "similar" which would be closer to 2.1 skin. the meaning in the ST
The ST is divided into two seperate What was this? My skin felt sentences. The words are all kept like in 何だろう、肌もしっとりする。 Literal Translation damp. literal translation with the exception that the comma got changed to a period. 2.2 2.3 しっとりするが、チクチクもする。 Damp, but also prickly. Literal Translation 2.4 なんだろう？ What was it? Literal Translation
"夢現の中" here would be "While half awake ". The "while" is Omitted. Also Literal Translation 夢現の中、目を開く。 Half awake, I open my eyes. 夢現 Omission note that has the meaning of "Trance; half awake half asleep; dream and reality " 2.5 2.6 草が見える。 I see grass. Literal Translation 2.7 草？ Grass? Literal Translation Grammatical error. 意味が分からないまま would translate to "Without understanding the meaning ". But in the TT it is simply translated with the adjective Uncomprehending , I slowly 意味が分からないまま、ゆっくりと体を Literal Translation "uncomprehending". pull myself up and take in my 起こし、周囲を見回す。 Modulated In the ST it is written "周囲を見回す" surroundings. that would translate as 周囲 "surroundings", 見回す"To look around; to Survey ". While in the TT he modulated it to "take in" my surroundings. 2.8 気付いたら is completely omitted. I see that I’m on a mist covered, 気付いたらそこは霧煙る緑の丘だった。 Omission 緑の丘 grassy hill. "green hill " got translated as 2.9 "grassy hill " 「なん……だ、これ……どこよ此処…… “Wha…t, where…am I…?” Literal Translation 2.10 ？」 そう、さっきまで僕はコンビニにいたは Yes, I should have been at the convenience store until a Literal Translation "until a moment ago" WEIRD ずだ。 2.11 moment ago. Literal Translation しかも 強盗と一緒に。 Along with that robber. しかも is omitted 2.12 Omission Grammatical error. It's in present tense, "remembered" should be I remembered that much, "remember". そこまで思い出して慌てて制服を捲り上 before I started to panic and lift Literal Translation MT. 慌てて here became "before I げて腹部を見る。 up my uniform to check my started to panic" which is not correct. stomach. The translation should have been closer 2.13 to "flustered I...". しかしそこに存在するはずのナイフは無 But the knife that should have MI. The ST talks about there being no been there was gone, there く、おまけにそのナイフが貫いた制服に Literal Translation scratches, rips nor tears in his uniform, weren’t even any traces of the not about his wound. 2.14 も傷はなかった。 wound on my clothes . The ST is ambiguous about if there is in 意味が分からない。 This didn’t make any sense. Literal Translation 2.15 first person or not here. From case 2.11 to 2.18, that's one paragraph in the ST. But between line 15-16, the TT broke up the paragraph and make a new one starting at case 1.16. The only reason I can think of is 分からない、が……思い当たる節がある that maybe the translator wanted it to It didn’t , but… there was one Literal Translation look like some time has passed in the 。 explanation I could think of . Modulated story. In the ST, 思い当たる節がある have the meaning of "To have something come to mind; To be reminded of something ". This got modulated into 2.16 what it is in the TT. Literal Translation さっきの声だ。 It was that voice. さっき here is omitted. 2.17 Omission Game terminology. 召喚 is a normally It had said something about a 召喚対象って言ってた。 Literal Translation subject for summoning. used word in games to "summon" 2.18 entities. つまり僕は何か、何者かなのか何物なの In other words, something or Only one comma was inserted into the かは分からないが、何かの意思によって someone, I didn’t know which, Literal Translation sentence in i TT to make it a bit more had summoned me for a reason. natural for English readers. 2.19 召喚されたことになる。 The TT only mentions that he was a student but in the ST it clearly mentions 専門学校 which would be translated as I had seen this happen in a Literal Translation "vocational school". 専門学校 時代に読んだ小説で見た。 novel I read when I was a Also the TT follows ST to the letter. Omission student. The start of the sentence of "I had seen this happen " would be implied if the translator only wrote "I've read about this when I was a student" . 2.20 Game terminology. 異世界 異世界has 異世界転移。 Transfer to another world. Literal Translation Also more the connotation of "parallel world" or "alternative 2.21 world". Weird flow in the TT. Sounds like a これはそういうことなんじゃないか？ Perhaps that was what this was? Literal Translation 2.22 direct translation, which it is. Some great will or something 強盗に刺された可哀想な僕を大いなる意 had taken pity on my poor self Here in the ST, he is very humble as if talking to some higher being by usign 思的な何かが哀れんでくださり 、この世 as I was stabbed by the robber, Literal Translation "くださる" which is not reflected in 界へ転移させてくださったんじゃ ……？ and allowed me to transfer to the TT. 2.23 this world…?
Colloquial register. まぁ and ド田舎 Well, this would be quite are great examples of colloquial まぁここが日本のド田舎 でしたーなんて embarrassing if it turned out to ド田舎 Literal Translation register used in the novel. The ことだったら恥ずかしいが。 be nothing more than a is not properly shown in the TT. It's not countryside in Japan. only "a countryside ", it is "very" a country side. 2.24 MT. The ST is talking about "if", so Though, that in itself was quite それはそれでホラーではあるが……。 Literal Translation the TT's "was quite" is incorrect. horrifying… 2.25 "would be" is better. Grammatical error. It's in present tense. For now, I had to take some sort ひとまず、何か行動せねばならない。 Literal Translation "I had to take" should be "I have to of action. 2.26 take". 時間は早朝だろうか……この感覚は朝っ It appeared to be early morning Literal Translation ぽい。 now… Or at least, it felt like it. 2.27 Grammatical error. Present tense, not いつまでもここには居られない。 I couldn’t stay here forever. Literal Translation 2.28 past tense. Fortunately, the mist was 幸いにも霧がだんだんと晴れてきた。 Literal Translation 2.29 starting to dissipate. 2.30 「朝の霧か…」 “A morning mist, huh…” Literal Translation What sort of trick of fate was この僕 is not addressed in the TT at 何の因果だろうか、この僕 、『上社 朝 this, I had been thrown into a all. location that was the same as 霧』の名と同じロケーションに放り出さ Literal Translation The TT solved the issue with the kanji's my own name, ‘Asagi Addition meaning with an addition in the formate れた訳だ。 Kamiyashiro.’(*Asagi = of putting the relevant information in a 2.31 morning mist) braket. 因果か陰謀か分からないが僕は丘を下る I didn’t know if it was fate or intrigue, but I started to walk Literal Translation 。 2.32 down the hill anyway.
生えそろった, the 生え"To grow; To sprout; to spring up " has been omitted. From case 2.32 to 2.34 in the ST is in 低い草の生えそろった平原の先に森が見 Past the plains of short grown Literal Translation one paragraph but in the TT case 2.34 えた。 grass, I could see a forest. Omission is not apart of it an stands alone. Only reason I can see is that the translator wanted it to look like some time has passed. 2.33 2.34 「森か……」 “A forest, huh…” Literal Translation 2.35 森。 A forest. Literal Translation In terms of food, a forest would 食物とか、あるなら平原より森だろうな Grammatical error. "In terms of be much more likely than the finding food…" "finding" is missing. ぁ……思えば夜勤の休憩はまだだったし plains… Thinking back, I Literal Translation Maybe not even finding, procuring or 、何も胃に入れていない。 hadn’t even had my night shift locating or ... break, so I had yet to eat. 2.36 木の実とか、果物とかあればいいんだけ It would be great if there were berries or fruits to be found Literal Translation 木の実 would also include nuts. どな。 2.37 here.
In the ST, they use 奴ら which only got でも、もしここが本当に異世界なら、奴 But, if this really was another world, then surely they would Literal Translation translated as "they" in the TT. Not らがいるはずだ。 strong enough nor having the same be here. connotation as the ST word has. 2.38 Could have more connotations than 魔物。 Monsters. Literal Translation only monsters. Demon, evil spirit… 2.39
もし奴らに襲われるなら僕はそれに抵抗 If they decided to attack me, Same as above, not strong enough with Literal Translation しなきゃいけない。 then I would need to fight back. "they" 2.40 In that case, I would need a ならば必要なのは武器だ。 Literal Translation 2.41 weapon.
森で適当な棒を拾えば何とかなるだろう I’m sure I could manage if I just MT. The ST is saying 適当な棒 which picked up a random stick in the Literal Translation would be "suitable stick/rod/pole" and 。 forest. not just "a random stick". 2.42 幸いにもポケットには納品された雑誌を Fortunately, I even had a box cutter in my pocket that I used 纏める紐を切るためのカッターナイフが Literal Translation to cut the strings off the new 2.43 ある。 magazines that came in. My cell phone had been left in 携帯電話は事務所に置いてきた。 Literal Translation 2.44 the office, though. 2.45 ちくしょう。 Shit. Literal Translation だがこれで棒の先を削って尖らせれば棒 Well, with this, I could at least sharpen the end of a stick and Literal Translation は槍になる。 2.46 make a spear. よし、そうとなれば早く動いた方がいい Okay, with that decision made, I Literal Translation 2.47 。 should act quickly. Enemies would hardly wait for ～から 相手は待っちゃくれないからな。 Literal Translation should be translated as 2.48 me. Omission "because" while the TT omitted it.
MI. 早速 "At once; Immediately" I quickened my stride towards 僕は早速森へと歩を進めた。 Literal Translation while the TT translated it as if it was an the forest. adjective of speed to 歩 "To walk" 2.49 Grammatical error. He isn't walking "over" the leaves, he is walking "on" I walk over the soft, fallen ふかふか とした落ち葉の上を歩く。 Literal Translation them. leaves. ふかふか was translated using 2.50 adjective. Along the way, I had picked up Again, 適当な細い木 here referes to a 途中、角の尖った石を拾い、適当な細い a stone with a pointed end and Literal Translation "suitable thin tree", not a "random 木を探す。 so I started to search for a thin three". 2.51 random, thin tree. しばらく歩いているとちょうど良いサイ After a bit of walking, I found a tree growing that was just the Literal Translation ズの木が生えていた。 2.52 right size. It was just the right thickness to 握れば手の中に納まる太さの木。 Literal Translation fit in your hand when gripped. 2.53 Grammatical error. It's not "a rock". It's その根本を石で叩く。 I hit at its roots with a rock. Literal Translation the rock which he previously picked up. 2.54 Klunk, klunk. The sound The TT broke the sentence up in two. ガツン、ガツンと音が木々に反射して森 First he literal translation on the bounced off the tree and echoed Literal Translation へ響く。 onomatopea and then he did a literal through the forest. translation on the rest of the sentence 2.55 I was becoming a little ちょっと緊張するな……。 Literal Translation 2.56 nervous…
MY. 打ち付ける has the connotation 何度か打ち付ければ木はゆっくりと倒れ After several more hits, the tree Literal Translation of striking it hard which is completely た。 slowly fell over. omitted in the TT. 2.57
The TT added the information that the I take out my boxcutter and MC brought out the boxcutter which is 僕はカッターを手に邪魔な枝を切り落と not included in the ST at all. The remove all the unnecessary Addition す。 information given in the ST is that branches. "with the boxcutter he removed all the unnecessary branches". 2.58 In the start of ST, he is giving the The trick was to cut the same 何度も線を引くように同じ場所を切るの Literal Translation information that he cut the same place, place as if drawing a straight がコツだ。 Omission 何度も"repeatedely; many times " line. 2.59 which is omitted in the TT. ある程度切れ込みが入ったら剥ぐように Once you’ve created enough notches, you should chip away Literal Translation 折る。 2.60 as if stripping the rest away. Then you use the blunt side of それからカッターの背を立てて切り口を the boxcutter to try and sand MT. It is not to "sand down", it is to Literal Translation ヤスリがけする。 down the severed end of the "file down". 2.61 stick. 滑らかにはならないけれど、持ちやすく It won’t be very smooth, but it Literal Translation はなるだろう。 should at least be easier to hold. 2.62 Due to this sentence in ST is not grammatically correct, it is hard to judge the TT. MI. This sentence has two を particles which makes it an unusual sentence and hard to understand. After that, you just carefully 先端 "pointed end; tip" を慎重 その後は先端を刃を折らないように慎重 Literal Translation sharpen the end of the stick so に削る。 Omission "Carefully" に削る "To shave; To that it does not snap. sharpen" = To carefully sharpen the tip 刃 "Edge; Blade "を折らない"To not break" ように "In order to; So that" = In order to not make the blade break The 刃 is completely omitted in the TT. 2.63
The TT modulated 生まれ変わった And just like that, you have a これで棒は槍に生まれ変わった。 Modulation "reborn" to change since the notion of spear. being born into something new is rarely, if at all used in English. 2.64 2.65 「よし……出来た」 “Great… it’s finished.” Literal Translation I look at the spear in my hand 手にした槍を見て思う。 Literal Translation 2.66 and think. That unique skill that had been 死の間際に聞いた声に付与されたユニー bestowed upon me, by that Literal Translation Game Terminology. ユニークスキル クスキル《器用貧乏》 。 voice before I died, ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none. ‘ 2.67 あれのお陰で僕は木工が得意になったの Could I have become adept at working with wood because of Literal Translation だろうか。 2.68 that?
Grammar error. The ST uses present Well, there was no point in tense while in the TT it became past ま、考えても仕方ないか……。 Literal Translation thinking about it now… tense. "There was" is in past tense, should be in present tense. 2.69
MT. The ST does not specify whether I try holding the spear in an or not it is an defensive nor an 試しに槍を構えてみよう。 Literal Translation offensive stance. offensive stance. It is merely stating that he went into a stance. 2.70 2.71 「えっ……！？」 “What…!?” Literal Translation その時、頭の中で自分が槍を鋭く突き出 Right then, the motions of me thrusting the spear forward Literal Translation すモーションが浮かんだ。 2.72 appeared inside of my head. It was like I was viewing the それはまるでバックヤードで見た防犯カ security camera feed in the back メラのモニターのように、4分割されたそ room monitor, with the screen Literal Translation れぞれの動き。 split in four, showing each 2.73 move. 僕はそのうちの1つのイメージが槍を突き One of the images was of me Literal Translation 2.74 出す動きだ。 thrusting the spear out. それを真似て、足を踏み込み、槍を突き In imitation, I set my feet in Literal Translation 2.75 出す。 place and thrust out the spear. 2.76 「ふっ……！」 “Oomph…!” Literal Translation … 空気を裂くような 音とともに鋭い突きが There was a sound of something cutting through the wind as I Literal Translation 放たれた。 executed the sharp thrust. 2.77 2.78 これだ、と思った。 This was it, I thought. Literal Translation I have never even held a spear 僕は槍なんて持ったことがない。 Literal Translation 2.79 before. 2.80 もう一度力強く突き出す。 I repeat the powerful thrust. Literal Translation
振れ "To veer; to shake; " のない It was a straight and steady 真っ直ぐに、振れのない攻撃。 Literal Translation "making the verb negative". So in the attack. Modulation ST it said that it did not veer/shake but in the TT, it was modulated to steady. 2.81 これこそが、ユニークスキルの能力だと I was now sure that this was the Literal Translation Game terminology. ユニークスキル 2.82 確信した。 ability of my unique skill. ‘Jack of all trades, yet master 《器用貧乏》は手にした物を、それが初 of none’ was a skill that めて手にした物でも上手く扱えるように allowed you to use anything Literal Translation なるスキルなのだろう。 skillfully even if it was your 2.83 first time. なら”器用”でも良いんじゃないだろうか Then why couldn’t it just be Literal Translation 2.84 ？ ‘Jack of all trades’? The ‘master of none’ part ”貧乏”の部分が気になる…。 Literal Translation 2.85 bothered me… ひょっとして使えはすれど、上達するわ What if it meant that I could use them, but I would never Literal Translation けじゃないとか？ 2.86 improve past that point? MT. だったら "If it's the case" which だったら悲しすぎる。 That was quite tragic. Omission is completely omitted in the TT. "Quite" is not, in any way, part of ST. 2.87 2.88 スキルがあるんだ。 I have skills. Literal Translation Game Terminology. スキル
In the ST, ステータスも, the も in this case refers back to the skills. So he knew that he had skills which would mean that he would also probably have "status". The TT translated the ステータス as "Stats" but that is only ステータスもあるだろう。 There would probably be stats. Literal Translation a part of the meaning. ステータス is refering to the interface where you can see not only stats, but multiple other things as well. e.g. a list of skills, magical abilities, resistance and so fourth depending on which game. Game terminology. ステータス 2.89
もしかしたら気付いてないだけで魔法な What if, I just hadn’t realized it Gamer Terminology. 魔法 Literal Translation んかも使えるのかもしれない。 yet, but I could also use magic? 2.90 頭の中で思い浮かべるが、特にそういう I think of this, but no such Literal Translation 2.91 のは表示されない。 images appeared in my head. MT. 調べる in the ST got translated as なら、なんかそういうのが調べられる所 In that case, I’d like to go somewhere where I could learn Literal Translation "learn" in the TT but the actual に行きたいな。 meaning is "To examine; To about these things. 2.92 investigate" 2.93 ……そう、町だ。 …Yes, a town. Literal Translation MT. The TT used "should head to" which would be ～べき. But the ST 町を目指そう。 I should head for a town. Literal Translation used 目指そう which would make the 2.94 meaning "Let's head to town". If this was really another world, 此処が異世界ならこう、冒険者的な方々 there should be guilds or Literal Translation の組合的な施設もあるだろう。 facilities for adventures and the 2.95 like. MT. 妄想 could also be refering to Or such were my current 完全に妄想だが。 Literal Translation "wild idea", not only "delusions" delusions. which is a bit too strong since we know 2.96 nothing about the world yet. Just then, I heard a rustling そんな時、背後でがさり、と音がした。 Literal Translation 2.97 sound at my back. Could have more connotations than 魔物か？ Was it a monster? Literal Translation only monsters. Demon, evil spirit to 2.98 name a few 2.99 ゆっくりと振り返る。 I slowly turn around. Literal Translation 2.100 「グギュルル……」 “Googururu…” Borrowing 2.101 「うわ……」 “Woah…” Literal Translation そこに立っていたのは小柄な人型の魔物 There was a small humanoid Literal Translation 2.102 だった。 monster standing there. 2.103 肌が薄い緑。 Its skin was a light green. Literal Translation Its mouth was so wide that its 尖った耳まで裂けた口から乱杭歯が覗い corners reach its pointed ears, Grammatical error. "reach" here Literal Translation ている。 and I could see its uneven should be "reached" 2.104 teeth. Again, the "quite" in the TT is not present in the ST. The ST only says that Its limbs were quite short but they "were" short. 手足は短いが、爪は鋭い。 Literal Translation the claws were sharp. Mt. 爪 here can also just be the nails. Specially since it's wielding a weapon 2.105 later. 下半身は申し訳程度の腰巻きで隠されて It’s lower half was only barely Literal Translation 2.106 いる。 covered with a waistcloth.
分かるぞ、此奴は……ゴブリンだ。 I knew what it was… A goblin. Literal Translation Game Terminology. ゴブリン 2.107 2.108 「グギャァァァ！！」 “Googaaah!!” Borrowing
MT. 鉈 here was translated as a The goblin cried out as it swung "Billhook" which is not the same thing. 雄叫びをあげ、手にしたボロボロの鉈を A nata or, sturdy broad-bladed knife, its well-worn billhook over its Literal Translation 振り上げるゴブリン。 usually have a rectangular blade but an head. Billhook always has a hooked front on the blade. 2.109 2.110 「わ、わわっ……！」 “Wo-wowoh…!” Literal Translation MT. The ST says that he went into a 僕は手にした槍を構える。 I hold up my spear. Omission 2.111 "stance" with his spear. 走り込み、勢いのままにゴブリンは鉈を The goblin comes rushing towards me, it’s billhook Literal Translation 振り下ろす。 2.112 swinging down. Case 2.111 to 2.113 is in the same paragraph but in the TT he made case 2.113 into a seperate paragraph. It I frantically move out of the 慌てて横っ飛びでそれを躱すが、足に痛 Literal Translation could be becuase of the change of focus way, but I feel a sudden pain in みを感じる。 Modulation from the Goblin to the MC? my leg. 横っ飛び means to "jump sideways" which got modulated into "moving out of the way" 2.113 “You-you have got be kidding 「う、そだろ……」 Literal Translation 2.114 me…!” ズボンの裾が中途半端な位置で切られて My pants had been cut near the Literal Translation 中途半端な位置 is omitted in the TT 2.115 いる。 hemline. Omission And there were drops of red その奥の足からはプツリプツリと赤い雫 The ST never mentions "blood" like in blood dripping from my leg Literal Translation が溢れてきた。 the TT. It is saying "red drops". 2.116 under it.
MT. Not a "light scrape", it should be Even though I knew it was only "scratch or Graze" since it is a wound かすり傷、とは分かっていても、痛い。 Literal Translation a light scrape, it hurt. from a cut and not a wound from a rubbing against something. 2.117 2.118 「くそっ！！」 “Fuck!!” Literal Translation MT. ニヤリ in this case should not be translated as "sneering" since that would imply that the goblin had either 足から視線を外し、ゴブリンを見ればニ I tore my gaze away from my leg and looked up at the Literal Translation contempt or were mocking him, but ヤリと笑う顔が見えた。 since in the next sentence it is clearly sneering face of the goblin. stated that he is seen as nothing more than food which makes "sneering" a 2.119 MT. Its ferocious expression showed The ST says that he is only "thinking" 獰猛で、僕を餌としか思っていない顔だ Literal Translation that it saw me as nothing more while in the TT it''s modulated into 。 Modulation 2.120 than food. "seeing"
"again" is not mentioned in the ST. 堪る which means "to bear; to ちくしょう、こんな所で殺されて堪るか Damn it, I was not about to be Modulation endure" which would make the ！ killed again, in a place like this! sentence more like "can't bear to be killed in a place like this" which got modulated. 2.121 2.122 「ギャギャギャギャ！！」 “Gagagagagaga!!” Borrowing Although this is used to some extent in English, much more common 「食らえ！！」 “Eat this!!” Literal Translation expressions are almost always 2.123 employed instead. E.g. "Take this" 再び鉈を振り上げて走ってきたゴブリン I thrust out the spear as the goblin came rushing towards Literal Translation に向かって槍を突き出す。 2.124 me again. スキル補正による脳内でのイメージ通り It was exactly as the image that Literal Translation Game Terminology. スキル 2.125 の動きだ。 had appeared in my brain. "tip of the spear" The end of the spear shot 真っ直ぐその先端が、走ってきたゴブリ MT. 突き刺さった "To stick into; To straight through the stomach of Literal Translation ンの腹に突き刺さった。 pierce" got turned into "shot the running goblin. 2.126 through". I must say, it was a little 自身も腹を刺されておきながら真っ直ぐ awkward that I aimed for his stomach instinctively, in spite Literal Translation に腹を狙うのが何とも言えない。 of having experienced a similar 2.127 assault. Although it is similar in style to ST but Stab quickly and pull out to repeatedly use the same adverb twice 素早く刺し、素早く抜く。 Literal Translation quickly. so close to eachother does not have a good flow in English. 2.128 Yet again, The "end of the spear" does The end of the spear was wet 先端は青い血で濡れていた。 Literal Translation not flow well at all. The "end" of a with blue blood. 2.129 spear is the "tip". 2.130 「ハ……ギャ……ッ」 “Ha….gga….” Borrowing MT. 振り上げた手 "the raised (over his head) hand" got turned into "writhing hand" which is completely Its writhing hand dropped the 振り上げた手から鉈が落ちる。 Literal Translation different. Could be due to wanting to billhook. suddenly make it have better flow in the TT. And as stated earlier, it's not a 2.131 Billhook. それを槍でゴブリンの手が届かない場所 I use my spear to knock it away Literal Translation 2.132 を弾く。 from the goblins reach.
Again the TT broke up the paragraph and made it into two. The ST had a 落ち葉の上を滑った鉈は木の根にぶつか It slid across the fallen leaves paragraph from case 2.131 to 2.133. It and stopped at the base of a Literal Translation って止まる。 could have been because the change of tree. focus from the MC to the Billhook. The TT translated 上で as "across" 2.133 Grammatical error. Blood don't "rush" I watch the blood rush from the from a wound, "gush". どくどくと流れるゴブリンの血を見なが goblins wound as I hold the This sentence is split into two in the ら油断なく槍を構えていると、ゆっくり spear ready once again. Slowly, Literal Translation TT. 、ゴブリンは膝から崩れ落ちた。 the goblin crumpled to its MT. It's not that the goblin crumbled knees. "to" his knees, but that he started to crumble "from" his knees. 2.134
MT. The ST doesn't talk about "I think" at all. 今がチャンスとばかりに which is the start of ST would translate as 今が Here’s my chance, I think. It 今がチャンスとばかりにうつ伏せに倒れ had fallen face first into the dirt, "now", チャンスと "chance", Literal Translation た其奴のうなじに槍を当てる。 and I point the tip of the spear ばかりに "becuase". Could have been into the back of its neck. becuase of MI that the translator broke up the sentence into two. Continuation from last sentence, if he "crumbled" to his knees, then how had it suddenly fallen "face first"? 2.135 The ST is saying "With this… it's 「これで……終わり……！」 “And now…it’s over…!” Modulation over…!" which got modulated in the 2.136 TT. The focus in the ST is on the "spear" while in the TT it became his "action". I plunge the spear deep into its ずぶ、と首を貫通する槍。 Modulation "A spear that pierced through the neck. neck" would be a literal translation of 2.137 the ST. The goblin convulses violently The ST describes that the MC pulls out びくんびくんと痙攣するゴブリンの背を Literal Translation the spear with "all his might; By brute as my foot presses down on its 踏みながら力尽くで引き抜く。 Omission force" which is completely omitted in back and I pull out the spear. 2.138 the TT.
"From the hole" is not mentioned in the ST and does not have to be in the TT either. "Fountain of blood" was modulated from 水鉄砲のように "Like a water For a second, a fountain of gun". 一瞬、水鉄砲のように血が噴き出すがそ blood erupts from the hole but MT. "… I had placed" is too vague Literal Translation れもすぐに終わり、背を押さえていた足 quickly subsides. The foot that I 押さえる Modulation since the ST uses which is を青く斑に染めた。 had placed on it was drenched "to hold down; to pin down" in blue blood. The TT is using very strong words to replace the ST. "Like a water gun" got turned into "Fountain of blood erupts", "was painted with blue spots/mottles" got turned into "Drenched". 2.139 2.140 「はぁ、はぁ……」 “Hhhaahh, hhhaaah…” Literal Translation Ha… It was the first time I had は……初めての殺し、だな……。 Literal Translation 2.141 killed… MT. The ST says that "an undescribable 何とも言えない気持ちになる。 I didn’t know how I felt. feeling/sensation/mood" which is not 2.142 the same as to not know. I took the Japanese route of "Something to think about" in the ST 日本人らしく『正当防衛』だと思い込ま trying to convince myself it was Literal Translation became modulated to "Something still ‘self-defense,’ but something Modulation せても、やっぱり思うところはある。 bothered me" 2.143 still bothered me. Throughout my life, I had never 動物の命すら奪ってこなかった人生だ。 Literal Translation The ST has "never stolen a life" which 2.144 even killed an animal. Modulation got modulated to "to kill" いきなり魔物の命を奪うのは結構、くる It was quite something to have And here he went with literal instead of to suddenly take the life of a Literal Translation modulation of the same word as the last 。 2.145 monster. sentence. However, I was also someone しかし僕も一度は殺された身。 Literal Translation 2.146 who had been killed once. もう一度殺されてやれる程お人好しでも I was not so good-natured as to allow someone to do it to me Literal Translation ない。 2.147 again. Survival was the only option for ここは割り切って生きていくしかない。 Literal Translation 2.148 me now. 僕は頭を振ってネガティブな思考を霧散 I shook my head to dispel any Literal Translation 2.149 させる。 such negative thoughts. ふと、ゴブリンが鉈を持っていたことを Suddenly, I remember that the goblin had been carrying a Literal Translation Still not a Billhook 思い出した。 2.150 billhook. 2.151 確か……あったあった。 Where was it…there it is. Literal Translation It had fallen near the roots of a 木の根の傍に落ちていた。 Literal Translation 2.152 tree. 「よっこいしょ……うわ、汚いな。…… “Here we are… Woah, it’s Literal Translation 2.153 え？」 disgusting. …Huh?” それを拾った瞬間、脳内にまた例のイメ As soon as I had picked it up, images appeared in my brain Literal Translation ージが映る。 2.154 once again. It was the same screen split into To raise overhead 振り上げて and to 4分割で振り上げて振り下ろす映像が再生 Literal Translation four with each showing footage swing down 振り下ろす is omitted in されている。 Omission 2.155 of different moves. TT. まぁ、それ以外に攻撃手段が無いから1カ Well, there was no variation for attacks with this, so it was メ、2カメ、3カメ、4カメと角度を変え Literal Translation really just different camera 2.156 て映しているだけだが。 angles being shown. 2.157 それもそうだ。 Of course, it was. Literal Translation You couldn’t thrust with it like 剣のように突ける訳じゃない。 Literal Translation 2.158 a sword. It's not a "Sword hatchet", whatever that is, what ST here says is an sturdy broad-bladed knife and the only これが剣鉈とかなら話は変わるのだが、 Now if this was a sword Literal Translation difference that it has with an nata is that hatchet…nevermind. 今はいい。 it is tapered. In short, the ST is refering to "if it was 2.159 tapered... "
I picked up the old billhook that MI. The translator thought that the ボロボロで僕の血付きの鉈とカッターナ had my own blood on it and the ボロボロ was an adjective for the 鉈 イフで削った木の槍を手に、僕は森を進 spear I had carved with a box Literal Translation but it was describing in what manner んだ。 cutter and continued through the he continued through the woods. forest. 2.160 The Translator broke apart the paragraph. This was the last part of the paragraph in the ST that lasted from case 2.154 until 2.161. Maybe the change in tempo was what the translator was after and broke it apart. 心許ねぇ……。 I was far from unstoppable… Modulation MT. 心許ない "uneasy; unsure; anxious" got translated into "unstoppable". The ST also is in first person present tense with either monolog or thinking it in his head while the TT both changed from first person and made it past tense. 2.161 しばらく歩いた僕は現在、茂みの裏に隠 Currently, I was hiding behind some bushes after having Literal Translation れている。 2.162 walked for quite a while. 2.163 何故隠れているのかって？ Why was I hiding? Literal Translation The reason was standing just on 理由はその茂みの向こうにある。 Literal Translation 2.164 the other side of the bushes. 草を掻き分けて状況を確認してから小さ I separated the leaves enough to confirm the situation, and Literal Translation く溜息を吐いた。 2.165 sighed.
「ギャッギャギャ、クギュゥゥゥゥ！」 “Gaaagaaga, kugooooo!” Borrowing 2.166 2.167 「ゲギャギャギャギャ！」 “Gegagagagaga!” Borrowing 2.168 「ギャッギャッギャ！」 “Gaagaagaa!” Borrowing 2.169 先程倒したゴブリンが現れたのだ。 More goblins had appeared. Omission 先程倒した is Omitted 2.170 それも群れで。 And as a herd this time. Literal Translation 見た限り10匹はいるんじゃなかろうか… As far as I could tell, there were This was in present tense in the ST Literal Translation 2.171 …。 at least 10 of them… while it is in past tense in TT 2.172 最悪だ。 This was the worst. Literal Translation It hardly mattered now, that I いくら槍と鉈が使えるようになったから could wield a spear or a It's quite bizarre sentence structure in Literal Translation ってあの数は無理だ。 billhook, those numbers were TT. It does not follow the ST either. 2.173 not manageable. 2.174 どうしようもない。 There was nothing I could do. Literal Translation 何とか過ぎ去ってもらうのを待つしかな I would have to wait for them to Literal Translation 2.175 かった。 leave. "would not be so easy" is not But things would not be so しかしそう簡単にはいかない。 Literal Translation grammatically correct. "Did not go easy. 2.176 that smoothly" As if things couldn’t get any 最悪な事に、1匹のゴブリンが僕が隠れて worse, one of the goblins had Literal Translation いる茂みに近付いてきた。 started to approach the bush I 2.177 was hiding behind. 鼻をひくひくさせてだんだん近寄ってく Its nose sniffed at the air as it Literal Translation 2.178 る。 came closer and closer. 2.179 何だ？ もしかして匂いか……？ What? Was it my smell…? Literal Translation Literal Translation あ！ この返り血……！ The goblin blood…! The ST's あ！ Is omitted in it's entirety. 2.180 Omission The blood that had soaked into The blood "that had soaked into my Literal Translation このゴブリンの血が誘き寄せてるのか！ my clothes was now luring clothes" … is the addition that is not Addition 2.181 them! mentioned in the ST 2.182 「くそ……！」 “Shit…!” Literal Translation 口の中で悪態をつきながら慌てて後ずさ I cursed internally as I Literal Translation 2.183 る僕。 frantically made my retreat. What should I do…The goblin In the TT, they added "Practically" which is not included in the ST. In the どうする……もうゴブリンは目の前。 was practically right in front of Literal Translation ST it is stated that they are right in me now. 2.184 front of me. And I was practically out of 為す術は殆ど無かった。 Literal Translation 2.185 options.
Grammatical error. "I found a tree growing ..." has the emphasis on that the tree is growing while the ST had the emphasis on that it was not a full grown tree. "I found a growing tree ..." which refers to
Grammatical error. "I found a tree growing ..." has the emphasis on that the tree is growing while the ST had the emphasis on that it was not a full grown tree. "I found a growing tree ..." which refers to