Breastfeeding

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Suggestions from LLL group

A ’s journey towards exclusive pumping Twelve Months of Mothering: Carrying the Load

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Editor: GG (Eva Gisella Natali Williams) Co-Editor: Charlotte Crane Contributing Editor: Sophie Burrows Graphic Design: Sophie Burrows Co-Editor Charlotte Editorial Consultant: Ginny Eaton Crane is a Leader in Monmouth and is Contributions mum to Sebastian (8) Breastfeeding Matters is YOUR publication, we and Abigail (5). always need your letters and stories. Photos need to be clear and good quality—please send high resolution digital photos to the Editors at [email protected]

Views expressed herein are not necessarily those of LLLGB. Submissions may be subject to editing. No articles to be republished or redistributed without the express permission of LLLGB. LLLGB does not endorse products or organisations mentioned in Breastfeeding Matters articles.

© La ita a Contributing Editor and Graphic Designer Sophie Burrows is a Leader in West Sussex and is mum to Luke (5) and Henry (3). by Roy on

2 Welcome to this issue of Breastfeeding Matters! Expectations have been on my mind lately. I have been thinking about how easily we get attached to our routines or plans for the future, only to feel confused and worried when something unforeseen gets on our path and forces us to stop and reassess where we are and where we are going. We expect things to be a certain way because they have been that way for a while, because society tells us that's the norm, or simply because we really want them to be that way, and it's very difficult to adjust when reality hits. Yet we do it. And as mothers we are well equipped to make the best out of it. So many stories in this issue show how reality often differs from the expectations we had in our mind and how wonderful mothers are at taking things in their stride. Nicola shares her experience of a difficult birth that left her second son deprived of oxygen and resulted in brain damage, lack of feeding reflexes and ultimately an inability to nurse. Her shock was immense and her pre-birth vow not to use a pump this time, after a difficult relactation experience with her first son, turned into the decision to exclusively pump for her baby. Rosa tells us how during pregnancy she expected life with a baby to carry on much as before and breastfeeding to be easy, only to discover that the first few months of motherhood and breastfeeding were a challenging and doubtful time. However, through the support of LLL, she managed to build up her self-confidence as a mother and turn breastfeeding into a beautiful, transformational experience. In her column Twelve Months of Mothering, Alison tells us that she hadn't anticipated how big the emotional load of motherhood would be and how it continues to change as our children get older, requiring us to a long list of roles and to adapt constantly. We also have a lovely article by Emma who offers many suggestions on what to say when people ask you why you breastfeed. Have a wonderful time reading and keep sharing your lovely stories with us!

GG (Eva Gisella Natali Williams) is a Leader in North Oxfordshire and is mum to Caterina (7), Serena (5) and Ben (3).

3 How To Get Support

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4 6 12 14 17

Regular Features Mothers’ Stories News and Research What to say when people A difficult birth 9 Crossword 6 28 ask why you breastfeed? Nicola Sheldon Emma Taylor Twelve Months of Reflections on Tandem Mothering: Carrying the 10 12 Nursing 34 LLLGB News Load Amélie Morel Alison Jones Made with LLLove Five years! 16 14 Oat Banana Bites Julie Jackson Introducing Newly Formed Mother; 17 LLL Shropshire 18 Newly Formed Group Andrea McCann Rosa Falconer Mothers on... 22 What do you like most about breastfeeding?

Meet a Leader 26 Kathryn Robson

Book Review 32 Nobody Told Me

33 Letter to the Editor

Photo courtesy of Tessa Clark

5 Nicola Sheldon, LLL Berkshire

When I fell pregnant the second time I had a nursing my three year old. much clearer idea of how I wanted my birth to go and my breastfeeding journey to start. I I gave birth in a birth pool at home as had joined my local LLL group when my planned and at first it was as if the opening eldest was 10 months old and I knew I wanted passages from “The Womanly Art of to avoid the medicalised type of birth I had Breastfeeding” came to life: utterly perfect. had the first time around. I also knew I was But as I pulled my prize out of the water and absolutely going to be exclusively onto my chest, instead of hearing that first breastfeeding this baby for at least six beautiful cry I realised my baby was blue, months. I vowed that this time I would floppy and not breathing. After attempting to not even look at a , after stimulate breaths in the pool without success, spending many hours we had to get out to start formal resuscitation attached to one and call an ambulance. We were soon being whilst relactating blue lighted to our nearest hospital. for my eldest. I We were told that our baby boy had been had a good deprived of oxygen which had left him brain support damaged and that he was experiencing network in seizures that they could not control. They place and were not hopeful for him and told my I was husband and I that we needed to come and still see him immediately. We were asked if we wanted chaplain services at the cot side. My first proper look at my brand new baby boy was of him laid out on a table with wires and tubes everywhere, his eyes locked with mine as his little body juddered through each seizure. In a rush we named him Thomas and held hands while we begged and pleaded for our little boy to be ok. Later that evening we were both transferred to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford for All photos courtesy of Nicola Sheldon pioneering cooling treatment which would prevent further brain injury and promote 6 repair. It was touch and go for the first few engorgement, establishing a supply via pump, days, the doctors were uncertain whether he and the challenges of exclusively expressing. had any brain function at all, but as he started One of my closest friends, a mother I had met to wean off the drugs they had given him at through LLL, took to visiting me weekly to birth we began to see some promising help me out around the home. I went signs that he would pull through. to my first LLL meeting since On day five I got to hold him giving birth rather nervously, for the first time since he was not sure how I'd cope being born. He was immediately It took a long time surrounded by nursing put inside my top where before I was able to mothers. I shouldn't have he stayed for the next few worried. My local Leaders hours. accept that my and friends enveloped me in LLL love and During this time Thomas little boy would support. had initially been fed through Total Parenteral never feed from my Thomas spent a total of Nutrition (TPN) and then breast... five weeks in hospital slowly weaned onto the getting stable enough to breastmilk I had been come home and we had to expressing for him, which was fed learn how to use a feeding tube. to him via a nasogastric tube. I was excited While he was in hospital I found expressing about the tube coming out and looking quite easy, but forward to transitioning to direct once he came breastfeeding. Not being able to nurse my home juggling newborn felt like a gaping hole in my heart the needs of and body. my toddler and a On day six Thomas was assessed by a speech high and language therapist who gently told me needs that my son had no feeding reflexes, no tongue movement, no gag, no suck and no swallow. In her opinion he would never be able to feed orally and would be reliant on a feeding tube for as long as he lived. Hearing her prognosis was like the air suddenly left the room. Of all the issues I'd been prepared for I'd never contemplated that my baby might be incapable of nursing. I was utterly distraught and the severity of my son's disabilities hit me like a freight train. I feared I'd never be able to pick up the pieces of my life after such a blow. My eldest who had been nursing right through pregnancy decided to stop feeding at this point and I cried many a tear as I watched my dream of tandem feeding go up in smoke. It was never a question in my mind that I would be expressing for my baby, so the next day I ordered a hospital grade breast pump and started planning my new routine. I sought support from the network I had built up around me. My local LLL Leaders helped me with early

7 newborn proved very tricky and my supply took a hit because of it. Thankfully I had a very sympatheticPhotos courtesy doctor who prescribed me some domperidone to help boost it back up, but I of Alison Moffatt also had to resort to donated breastmilk. We're now over 10 months into our journey and I'm still expressing. I've found a good rhythm and find that I'm just about able to keep up with his needs. I've managed to express in cafes, in the park, in soft play areas and even in the car! Thomas is a complex little boy and we've had a lot of weight gain issues, but armed with my knowledge and perseverance he is currently still exclusively fed my breastmilk, bar the odd syringe of fruit puree. He will soon be undergoing surgery for a gastrostomy, after which we will be able to start introducing a full blended diet to complement the breastmilk. It took a long time before I was able to accept that my little boy would never feed from my breast, and if I'm honest there's still a small part of me that hopes it might be possible at some point. Realistically, it is unlikely. However, he's making great strides and has now developed the ability to swallow and gag, so we are hopeful that he will be able to enjoy some food orally one day. As a result of his brain injury he has been left with many complex needs, we know that he is visually impaired to some degree and we are anticipating a diagnosis of dystonic cerebral palsy at some point in the future. But he is our strong little miracle, due in large part to his diet of mother's . He has a 8 smile which will light up any room. -

Solution on page 34

ACROSS 6 A sweet baked treat often available at LLL meetings. 10 The term often used for a baby's mouth sucking at the breast. 11 Two individuals or units regarded as a pair, such as mother and baby. 12 A device for drawing milk from a woman's by suction. 13 Fenugreek is considered a ______. Part of the areolar glands visible on the skin's surface and responsible for keeping the breast 14 lubricated during nursing. When a baby decides not to take a break from nursing and suddenly and energetically jerks 15 his head around to look up, down and all around the room (still firmly latched onto your breast). DOWN A tree branched system also referred to as milk ducts connecting the lobules of the mammary 1 glands to the and carrying milk in lactating women. Any of a class of proteins present in the serum and cells of the immune system, which function 2 as antibodies. 3 An involuntary reflex activated during breastfeeding which causes the milk to flow freely. 4 Strong emotional connection, such as the bond between a child and caregiver. A group of feedings, spaced very closely to each other. They can happen at any time during 5 the day or night, but normally happen in the evening. The term is used to describe the process of breastfeeding an older child when a baby is born 7 and also breastfed. A hormone released by the pituitary gland that causes increased contraction of the uterus 8 during labour and stimulates the ejection of milk into the breast ducts. Some mothers with a plugged/ find it helpful to breastfeed while leaning 9 over baby. This is known as ______feeding. 9 Alison Jones, LLL Oxfordshire

Recently, comic artist Emma took the internet to, what its milestones were and when it by storm with her comic strip illustrations of should meet them. I had to know about my the mental load carried by women. I looked at own changing body, what I should and should her work knowingly, nodding, feeling not eat, how I could negotiate my way empathy for so many women in similar through a very posh wedding in Paris faced positions to me, who have to know and with flowing wine and rivers of beautiful soft remember everything. cheese, two of the things I love most in the world. This is the part of being a mother that I hadn’t anticipated and nobody had told me anything I had to be just as good as everyone else I about. It seems that there are secret rules worked with. In fact I had to be better, around how to be a mother that are written because pregnancy is not a sickness, and at into the very fabric of modern society: the time I was in a senior role and needed to mothers must do things in a certain way, step up and carry a struggling colleague, mothers must know things, but mothers must which meant trying to be in two places at never ever play the mothering card in a way once and sprinting up and down a corridor that suggests that they have some sort of every five minutes. advanced skill set. Just ask any woman who has ever tried to do so. Maybe I am a person who likes to know stuff. I want to know how things work and have all The emotional load of being a mother is the evidence and information before me; huge, and I hadn’t really prepared for it all, maybe I am not good at handing control to even though it began before pregnancy. In others. I had to know about birth. My family order to get those precious thick blue lines only had negative stories to share with me, so when I peed on a stick, I had to know stuff I had to do the work of finding out myself: I first. I had to know about cycles of my body, I read all the books and went to all the classes, had to be healthy, I had to be sure I was met all the other people who were trying to doing everything right; it find out about what it would be like too. seemed that not preventing pregnancy simply wasn’t On the other side of birth, the emotional load enough as my body grew as my baby did. I needed to know about waved two fingers at me developmental stages, feeding, what was with miscarriages that normal, what was wrong, how he should be seem to say “nah, you’re sleeping, what I should be doing when he was not good enough for asleep. The internet suggested things I might this.” be interested in as a mother, and the endless newsletters that flew into my inbox suggested I had to know about things for me to be concerned with. My first every single stage of child was born on the cusp of the popularity pregnancy, the of the smartphone. As a relative luddite, a development of person who prefers physical books and the baby writing longhand in a Moleskine notebook, I growing think my lack of technology probably saved inside me, me from a great deal of anxiety in my first its crown to days as a mother, as I simply wasn’t party to rump the information overload I could have been length, the swamped under. type of exotic fruit In some ways, maybe it kept me isolated too, it could be as I had perceptions about La Leche League compared that were incorrect, even though I had been friends with a Leader for a number of years. Photo10 courtesy of Alison Jones Seeing her deftly leafing through one of the realities of the world we live in. Nothing could massive technical text books that now graces have prepared me for the mental capacity my shelves, and talking about assisting needed to be a mother: I am all at once CEO, mothers, I thought meetings were only for project manager, counsellor, secretary, chef, those with problems. I didn’t have any, so I first aider, champion supporter. The list goes didn’t go along until my first born was six on and on. It helps me enormously to connect months old. I had been hanging out with the with other mothers just to express my concerns group of mothers I had about these things and share coping strategies; met in my antenatal sometimes a listening ear and a cup of tea are class, and they all that are needed. were all approaching It seems that there in different ways are secret rules and talking of around how to be a using follow- mother that are on written into the instead of very fabric of breastmilk. modern society... Confused and guilty that I hadn’t thought of this, I turned up to LLL to find the people who might really know what I was supposed to be doing, as making it up as I went along had worked, but now I wasn’t so sure. I knew about baby-led weaning, I knew about the best foods to offer, I knew about signs and milestones, I knew what I wanted to avoid. I knew the ways of mothering that felt best for me, and I knew that those were in conflict with some other methods that needed a lot of products and commercial items. I knew my son and I were happy, but I still didn’t really know if I was doing things right. Mothering is work. It is hard work that often goes unrecognised, as La Leche League Leader Vanessa Olorenshaw writes so eloquently about in her work on the Purplestockings Movement. In work outside the home, we are rewarded for carrying knowledge with financial recompense. Many mothers today, myself included, try to continue paid roles because economics force us into such positions, and carry the emotional load of too, because it seems to be a woman’s work. As our children get older the load changes: we must know about parenting philosophies, discipline, activities, personal safety, educational choices and how to talk to our children effectively whilst shielding them from the brutal 11 Photo courtesy of Eva Gisella Natali Williams Amélie Morel, LLL Manchester When I was pregnant with my first child, I difficult: my nipples were very sore at first and thought I would breastfeed him for six months. I had quite a strong nursing aversion. I Two years and a lot more knowledge later, I couldn't stand being touched, never mind got pregnant again and Ethan was still very nursing. I was exhausted and kept taking much dependent on breastfeeding. The things one day at a time, one feed at a time. I timeframe suited me because, back then, I had was so tired and ill that it was easier to tolerate a target of breastfeeding for two years in line a short feed than to deal with saying no to a with the WHO guidelines. I wasn't sure what determined toddler. After a few weeks, Ethan would happen during pregnancy: maybe my settled on nursing about twice a day and that milk would dry up, maybe Ethan wouldn't like continued during most of my pregnancy: it the taste, maybe it would become was a big change compared to his previous uncomfortable and I would want him to wean. pattern of nursing every 2 hours like clockwork! He also got used to having a short Having had hyperemesis during my first feed before going to sleep with a cuddle, pregnancy, I needed time to recover and rather than feeding to sleep. This was another prepare myself, both physically and mentally, big change for him, but a very welcome one for the possibility it might happen again. In for me. fact, I was just five weeks into my second pregnancy when I started being very ill with Towards the end of my pregnancy we started hyperemesis again. My GP was incredibly talking a lot more about the new baby who supportive, both in terms of trying out would be joining our family and making a few different treatments for hyperemesis and preparations around the house. All these making sure all the medications were changes were quite difficult to process for compatible with breastfeeding. None of the Ethan. At the same time, he seemed to be medical staff ever suggested weaning. enjoying colostrum very much and he started breastfeeding a lot more frequently again, By the time I was seven weeks pregnant, I much to my worry. didn't think I had any milk anymore. I couldn't see or hear Ethan swallow, and he started Jesse was born a few days before his due date asking for water in the middle of nursing to and my milk came in soon after. In the early sleep. Dry-nursing during pregnancy was weeks I had so much milk that he was

12 struggling to feed, onwards, and I was starting to resent him for it. constantly He was three and a half years old when I popping on and decided to stop nursing him at night, and very off and soon he only asked to feed when he woke up swallowing a lot for the day. His bedtime feed also disappeared of air. Feeding due to being busy feeding Jesse and reading Ethan first was books. I felt very guilty about dropping those very useful then, it feeds, as the decision seemed to purely benefit made it much me, but it helped me feel a lot happier about easier for Jesse to Ethan "still" breastfeeding and generally . I had been interacting with him. He also seemed to cope told to prioritise with the transition very well. the newborn over the toddler, and, Right now we are very happy with how things in our case, what stand. Jesse is now one year old, eating solids the newborn well, but still relying mostly on milk. Ethan is needed was a nearly four years old and continues to need his slower flow of morning breastfeed when he wakes up. There milk. I tried to has been very little jealousy between them, and feed them no issues sharing the milk. Ethan still together on occasionally puts his face next to his brother's occasion, but it when he was difficult to find the right position and I felt nurses, trapped: the sensation of both of them suckling however at the same time was overwhelming and now Jesse unpleasant. Ethan learnt to take turns and giggles and loved to watch his little brother feed, putting loses his his head very close to his brother's face and latch. kissing him. Ethan turned three shortly after his brother was born. During those early months he would enjoy the abundance of milk so much that some days he would barely eat any solid food anymore! He also started waking up frequently in the night again and he had a huge growth spurt, becoming suddenly very tall. He had always been quite a small child, but within a few months he caught up to a more average size for his age. The enthusiasm of the early months eventually waned; however, the night feeds remained, I tried to feed especially in the them together early hours of the on occasion, but morning. Jesse it was difficult liked to cluster feed to find the right in the evenings until position... around 11 pm, All photos courtesy of Alexandra Ford whereas Ethan wanted milk on and off from 3 am Photos courtesy of Amélie Morel 13 Julie Jackson, LLL Shropshire Back in issue 203 of getting to sleep, and there are no battles Breastfeeding Matters, before bedtime (other than him throwing his I wrote about how I clothes!). had been - breastfeeding my Health wise, this bond has helped me to son for two years, monitor him when he has been ill. This has and how I could been particularly important, because he never have suffers from febrile seizures if his imagined we would temperature gets too high. Any get that far. As I illnesses he has had have been short write this, almost lived. He has had one tummy bug three years later, I in five years, and he breezed am busy through chickenpox with planning his fifth just one uncomfortable

birthday party night. and nothing has By the law of changed! We averages, I doubt I co-sleep, he feeds will be able to write a to sleep, and he similar piece next still wakes for milk year... So, for now, I in the night. It is will continue to enjoy definitely getting less our special time though, and he hardly together. I will watch ever has milk in the him fall asleep while he day now; perhaps only suckles, unable to keep if he falls over and his heavy eyes from needs to be closing as he fights the comforted. He Photos courtesy of Julie Jackson tiredness. And when I keeps telling me he know he is asleep, I will will sleep in his continue to kiss him on the own bed when he is head before he breathes deeply and five, but I don't think he appreciates that rolls over, turning his milk drunk face 'five' is just a few short weeks away! away from me. Because this is just a It has been a wonderful journey, and I feel brief time in my life, which will be sad that it will come to an end, but over before I know it, and I immensely proud at what we have achieved wouldn't miss it for the together. I was adamant from the start that world. This is by far he should only give up when he was ready, the most and I have never wavered from that important thing I commitment. We have gone to bed have ever together every night for the last five years, done in whether that be 7 pm or 10 pm! I have my

never felt as though I was missing out on life. anything, as these evenings together have always seemed so precious; a time when we can read, chat about our day, and I can answer his random questions about life, weather, vehicles, holidays, animals, music, food, etc, etc. He rarely has problems

14 Breastfeeding Matters is a source of

support and

enjoyment for many . Without stories from parents like you it wouldn't be the wonderful publication it is today. Do you have a story to tell? Do you want to

help reassure

Photo courtesy of Davina Wright other parents that what they are experiencing is

normal? Share your story with us by emailing it to [email protected]

15 Photo courtesy of Jen Skene

My little ones love these and they are so easy to make! They taste like mini bites of banana bread. They're best enjoyed soon after baking or on the day after, but they also freeze really well. Ingredients: 2-3 ripe bananas 1 1/2 cups of oats 1/2 cup of ground almonds 1/4 cup of oil (I personally like to use coconut oil) 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Method: Preheat oven to 180 °C. Mash the bananas in a large bowl and mix in the other ingredients. Lay out a baking tray with parchment paper. Roll the mixture into spheres about the size of a golf ball and flatten each one slightly after placing on the baking tray. Bake for 15-20 minutes or till they start to turn golden. Enjoy! Recipe by Jen Skene, LLL Oxfordshire

16 Each issue we feature a local LLL group and its activities. This issue Andrea McCann tells us about LLL Shropshire.

How long has your group been active for in your area?

I began running meetings in Market Drayton, Shropshire about two and a half years ago. What type of meetings do you hold and how often? We hold monthly drop-in sessions at one of the Children's Centres in Market Drayton the first Tuesday of the month. Most months we also run series meetings at my daughter's dance school, just outside Market Drayton. Mothers meet and support each other and enjoy both styles of meetings. The Children's Centre provides a good variety of toys to keep the older children occupied. What other ways do you have of offering support to your local mums? Mums contact me by email or private message on Facebook. Up to date information is regularly posted on our Facebook page and I also attend the local 'Bumps to Babes' group at one of the Market Drayton Children's Centres most weeks. Why do you love your group? I love the group because of the friendships the mums attending and I have made. The group has given breastfeeding mums the opportunity to meet regularly and the support they give each other is amazing. Mother-to-mother support is something very special and I enjoyed it very much when I was feeding my daughter. In what way do your members help LLL Shropshire to keep going? By promoting the group amongst their friends and also sharing the meeting dates on their Facebook pages. http://lllshropshire.weebly.com/

Photos courtesy of Andrea McCann and LLL Shropshire 17

Rosa Falconer, LLL Chelmsford

The newly formed LLL group in Chelmsford before Freddie arrived. I simply hopped into a has been integral to building my confidence car or jumped onto a train to visit friends and and enjoyment in my own evolving family. This was mildly inconvenient but and emerging realisation of not a problem, and anyway, I always motherhood. More than a enjoyed changes of scenery and community, it is my tribe: being in different places. I in it I have found More than a community, it surmised that when the baby understanding, support was born, it would be a bit and encouragement is my tribe- in it I have more difficult but I would about breastfeeding found understanding, manage. Life would carry on my son, which has much as before, but I would been and continues to support and encouragement be a bit more tired and have be the most about breastfeeding my a baby accompanying me, as challenging, yet though my pregnancy was astoundingly beautiful son... somehow indicative of what life and transformational would be like when the baby experience of my life. actually arrived. And breastfeeding? You just put the baby I was the standard demographic of on your breast; simple. the modern phenomenon of the isolated mother: no family or friends living nearby, not The first three and a half months of Freddie's part of any local organisation or community, life were a lonely and difficult journey which and despite having three young nephews and sadly, in retrospect, I did not need to make. nieces, no real knowledge or understanding of Being born a month early, weight gain issues breastfeeding and baby care. This lack of local and return hospital visits meant that our social connection was of no concern to me breastfeeding relationship was beset with

Photos courtesy of Rosa Falconer 18 complications. I internalised the obstacles I to be a seemingly competitive and faced as total failures on my part as a mother. judgemental atmosphere. The funny thing is, What had I done wrong? What was I looking back now, I am sure we were all continuing to do wrong? Why was this all so feeling something very similar. Yes, I could difficult? I am eternally grateful to the LLL have revealed my true feelings and that may helpline during these early months. The have changed something, but it had warm and understanding voice at the taken all my courage and resolve end of the line not only gave me the to just get there. I had none left technical support I needed, but to go even further and talk. provided me with a much needed soundboard to help me push forward Exhaustion and illness with my own instincts which I still did naturally followed this period not recognise in myself at that point. and they are what I mostly I could not hear them or trust them remember of Freddie’s third for the deafening clatter of advice month. A persistent bleb led and overwhelming self-doubt. to a series of plugged ducts, resulting in recurrent , In his second month, I gave all I had to finally culminating in a trip to A&E force myself and a still very fragile on Christmas Day to get some Freddie, out of the comforting and antibiotics. Despite the safe but isolated bubble of our pain and low feeling, home. My husband was I remember just amazing, but was working how deeply long hours. I needed nourishing and support, help and healing it was to most of all, lay with Freddie understanding breastfeeding in from other bed allowing mothers. I ourselves to just toured and be and enjoy our attended the deepening whole gamut of relationship. My the local groups husband’s Christmas and joined a ‘new presents of the LLL mother’ course for membership and “The a month. Maybe it Womanly Art of had to do with the Breastfeeding” could particular emotional not have been more space I was in at that fitting. I resolved to find time, but my feelings my nearest LLL group. of isolation and increasing self-doubt Kerry, our Chelmsford in mothering were LLL Leader responded strengthened and instantly with an heightened during this encouraging welcome to period. I often found my inquiry about attending. myself to be the only breastfeeding Carrying her baby son, she greeted mother at these groups. Local and me by name when I entered. I impenetrable cliques remember just how wonderful it predominated and my I was not the was to be given a cup of tea increasing insecurity as a and handed a piece of breastfeeding mother was only one! I homemade cake. This was the manifesting itself as a terrified first time I had been given shyness. I felt, paradoxically, was not refreshments at a group and I invisible yet utterly conspicuous. instantly felt looked after by It did not feel safe to cry or show strange! that simple gesture. I enjoyed my cup of tea immensely. I had r my vulnerability in what I perceived 19 not made it with one hand and drunk it alone All the mothers were warm, encouraging and at home. supportive. I felt empathy like I had never done before. I remember my first ever We were all arranged in a circle with older conversation with a mother whose baby is a babies sitting and lying on cushions in the similar age to Freddie. I could finally discuss centre, almost symbolically signalling how the some of the things I was experiencing with breastfeeding relationship revolves around the someone who truly understood and our baby’s needs. This was the first time I was in a relationship continues to this day, when we room full of see each other at mothers all meetings or chat breastfeeding their online. children. The sense of relief and I remember seeing comfort was Kerry with a overwhelming. Just mother who was seeing it was a crying across the revelation. I was room. I recall not the only one! I being struck by was not strange! It how comforting was wonderful to the whole scene see not just was. Despite the newborns and mother’s tears, the young babies, but baby was smiling, toddlers being sitting on his breastfed too. mother's lap and With all of us Kerry was sitting together, you with her listening could see how intently. My heart varied, yet similar went out to her. I breastfeeding felt I could have could be. I was been that mother learning so much several times in just by observing the preceding other mothers months and well, breastfeed. You do sometimes I still not see this can be, and I anywhere else. imagine will continue to be. Kerry, in her calm However, unlike and gentle, yet before, I feel safe engaging and in the knowledge confident way, led that I have a the group community of discussion on other mothers ‘Sleeping like a who I can turn to Baby.’ Once again, when I need to it was wonderful to talk. In fact, I be in a room recently did on our where nearly Facebook group everyone spoke after a particularly about waking up several times a night for relentless week. The supportive and feeding, and recognised that this was entirely encouraging words that rushed in were normal and to be expected. It was incredibly overwhelming and they really turned me important for me that all of us were invited to around. introduce ourselves and given an opportunity to speak. I finally felt like I had a voice and was Just as we come together in the more difficult seen by other people. moments, we also share the more humorous

20 and light hearted experiences of shown in the group has been my saving grace breastfeeding. Be it the more comical and finally let me see how much I have behaviours our babies engage in on the breast achieved, how far I have come and how much such as blowing raspberries, poor attention I do through mothering and breastfeeding. I spans and acrobatic feeding positions to the feel increasingly confident and empowered. slightly more irksome habits of biting, pinching Freddie is now eight months. He is my pride and hair pulling. We can laugh and share in and joy. I am loving being a mother and I am the pleasure (and pain!) of our little babies’ so grateful that I am able to enjoy it as much personalities emerging on our breast. Also, we as I do with the continuing support and all have a place to give each other proverbial encouragement of the LLL Chelmsford group, high fives about the situations and locations my breastfeeding community, my newly found we find ourselves breastfeeding. These tribe. conversations have certainly instilled greater confidence within me to breastfeed in public. I am always amazed by how much information I come away with from each meeting, not having been aware that I was trying to learn or find out anything in particular. In addition to Find your local group on observing others mothering, the tradition of addressing burning issues always leads to an our website- extraordinary exchange of wisdom and experiences. Someone in the circle will almost www.laleche.org.uk/ always have experienced an issue another find-lll-support- mother is encountering. This exchange gives everyone a sense of achievement in their own group/ management of different issues. The ongoing encouragement and support

Would YOU like to support other mothers to breastfeed?

Then the La Leche League International accreditation process may be the life changing experience you are looking for. To find out more about becoming an LLL Leader, speak with your local Leader about the prerequisites and the role. Making the transition from being a mother to being a mother who is also an LLL Leader could just be the fulfilling adventure you have been waiting for!

Contact: [email protected]

for more information. 21 We asked mothers across the country to share what they enjoy most about nursing their babies.

The cheeky grin During those minutes I love being able to she gives me everything seems right, all his nurture and nourish my when she pulls needs are met, he's calm. I baby all at the same time. off mid feed. It is love the gaze we hold, the Sometimes he holds my “a grin she only “t ooth y smile and the pièce de hand or smiles and does when résistance, 'the hair sniff'! “ giggles when he's feeding, so I am Zena feeding and it's the most privileged to be beautiful feeling ever. the only one Anna who sees it. Susan ”

” ” ” The closeness, as well as the comfort I can give to my Watching my daughter. Anytime baby grow and “s he’s worried or sad knowing that I a cuddle whilst am giving him nursing makes “th e be st I can. everything better; it Breastfeeding is makes the rest of the an amazing world melt away. experience. Clare Michaela “

” Photo courtesy of Sophie Burrows ”

I don't have to plan or prepare, everything is always I love the fact that as my ready for when he son has grown from baby needs a snack or a to toddler so much has “ changed, but Mama Milk milky cuddle, and there's no limit nor The look of excitement “h as b een his constant. It's any waste, on my daughter's face there when he wakes up, regardless of how just before she latches there when he falls asleep. much he wants. on and the look of It's there when he's unsure That, plus cuddles. perfect contentment as or upset, when he's “ grouchy or bumps his she guzzles away. Kate knee. It's how we Lucy reconnect. It's literally 'coming back to Mama and she'll make it ok'. It's ” the best hug in the world. 22 ” Kate ” When I see my baby I love the feeling of wriggle, roll around, Being able to lie wave everything unconditional love and calmness. I could be on the sofa and about, smile and do nothing with babble I think 'I'm having a really stressful “ and upsetting day, but the agreement, powering that'! “ and indeed joy, That's me! It makes just sitting down and “ of a toddler. me feel really feeding my son melts

special and everything else away. Ilana important in her life. Vikkie Carly ” ” ” I love the connection I have with my sweetheart, I love hearing his ” Breastfeeding little sighs of is such a “ happiness, security, wonderful and love as he panacea, able settles down for his “t o cur e all ills. feed. Now that he's Karin getting older he toddles over, sits on my lap and in my ” eyes he's still that I love the fact that I tiny little baby at my am my baby’s source breast only a few of nutrition and minutes after birth. I comfort. I love the know I will treasure “c losen ess and seeing our time spent the bond between us breastfeeding since having him form together forever. and live in my belly Robyn get stronger through Photo courtesy of Jennifer Smith nursing. I love the way it forces us together. ” He's not even one year old and he’s had what feels like I love how When my a lifetime’s worth of cuddles. breastfeeding is 'our daughter I love the strong, deep thing'. My eldest draws a connection and attachment child makes the baby picture and it creates, fulfilling both our giggle, daddy makes says 'this is needs for an intense loving “ “ him stop crying, but you, your relationship. I love the only mummy can eyes, your convenience of being able make it better with smile and to feed anytime and her breast. I love the your anywhere. And I love the snuggles and I love moomies'! addictive filling me when he looks up at Susanna with joy and pride, alongside me, smiles and milk the heavy let down giving goes everywhere. me confidence that my boy Jess will be satisfied. Put simply, I ” love everything about it! 23 Ruth ” ” The little comments I get from my son after each nursing session get me The way it soothes through the ups and downs my baby and the I love how “o f fee ding a toddler during relief it brings him breastfeeding is just so pregnancy. 'Thank you when he's been ingrained in our “ mummy', 'Boobie yummy!' away from me all everyday lives. It's a and 'Mmmm ice cream!' “ day at nursery. drink, nourishment, are a few of my favourites! “ Aditi comfort and nap Tessa inducer for our nearly three year old. It's just something that's ” ” always there for us. Sarah It's hard to choose, but I think the best ” thing is all the “c uddl ing! I can't get too busy, I need to make time for feeding I love the closeness so I get regular we feel as she nuzzles cuddles and we in for a feed. At age both feel relaxed one, my youngest and content. “g oes o n and off my breast a lot, but I Helen know she will come back for more milk when she needs it. ” Nursing is a constant reassurance as she goes off on a crawling, Nutrition on exploring adventure! tap with Dany added cuddles.

“ Em ily Photo courtesy of Harri Jeffery ” ”

The convenience! Perfectly personalised It forces you to stop, food for my baby sit and connect. That it's the anywhere, anytime. When life is busy, answer to with lots of rushing any problem. “ Geri “a roun d, those Amy moments become “ little oasies of calm. ” Rokeya ”

24 ” Having a baby with The wonderful allergies, I love connection you get knowing that I have with your baby the ability to alter my whilst feeding. I felt “b reas tmilk by “s o pea ceful and adjusting my diet so calm when nursing. that it's safe for him. Becky Zoe

” ” I love that my baby The ability to had zero hospital truly not worry admissions last how much my winter and was baby/ toddler hardly ill at all, which “w as ea ting, “ knowing that is amazing for a tiny boy born 14 weeks they were still early with chronic growing and lung disease. I'm thriving on convinced breastmilk. breastmilk is magic! Photo courtesy of Mel Smith Emily Alannah

” ” Become a member of LLLGB

As a member Help us you will receive printed prepare new copies of The information and support that LLL Leaders offer Leaders Breastfeeding are free of charge but getting the information to Matters ” mothers costs money! An annual membership costs only Every Your

membership £30 for 12 months membership goes towards helps us to start new operating our (£18 for an unwaged family) 24/7 National groups Helpline Or £2.50 a month

(with pdf of Breastfeeding Matters)

Support Join online at www.laleche.org.uk/content/join-us

us to produce leaflets and or ask your local LLL Leader for a membership form information sheets

25 24 hour Helpline: 0345 120 2918 Each issue we talk to a Leader, asking them about their involvement with LLL. This issue we talk to Kathryn Robson, LLL Tyne and Wear.

Tell us about you, your family and which LLL group you’re involved with. My name is Kathryn and I live in the North East of England. I’m married to Darren and we have 3 children: Morgan is 17, Owen is 12 and our youngest, Zack, is four and a half. I’m part of LLL Tyne and Wear and lead meetings in Washington, Tyne and Wear with my fabulous co-Leaders. We also run meetings in Sunderland. What was your first involvement with LLL? We have great NHS breastfeeding support in our region and I first heard of LLL at one of their peer supporter led sessions. I had already started reading “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” for my peer supporter training (I really wish I had read it while pregnant!) and I attended my first LLL meeting when Zack was 14 weeks old. I have attended more or less every meeting ever since and never looked back. What made you decide to become a Leader? After completing my peer supporter training, I was helping to run one of the Bosom Buddies sessions in our area, but I really wanted to learn more. I absolutely loved discussing the different topics at the series meetings and really felt like I lived by each of the LLL philosophy statements. I also really appreciated the LLLove and support that had been given to me at meetings and really wanted to be able to pay that back. What’s a typical meeting of your group like? We usually have about 20-25 parents at our Washington meeting. We aim to start at 10:00 and finish at 11:30, but it’s usually closer to 12:00 by the time we wrap up. We tend to discuss a meeting topic for about 45 minutes and then offer one-to-one support to the mums who have asked to speak to us. One of the things I love most about our meetings are the great experiences that mothers share not only during the group discussion, but also while my co- Leaders and I are speaking to parents individually. Sometimes there is cake involved, which always seems to go down well. What do you enjoy most about being a Leader? I could simply write that I love it all, but if I had to pick a few things... I really enjoy working alongside my co-Leaders to offer support to each and every family that contacts us. Series meetings will always be very special to me, as there’s something wonderful about mums coming together and sharing their experiences in person, but I also love being accessible to families in other ways. We have a really strong Facebook presence in the Tyne and Wear area and it’s great to be able to offer support to parents that way if they so prefer. I love having the opportunity to meet up with other Leaders during conferences and workshops, and working with Leader Applicants is also something special. What’s the most challenging part of your role as a Leader? Time! In addition to having three children at very different life stages (A Levels, Secondary School and just about to start school), I also work outside of the home in the IT field. I’d love to 26 be able to do more for LLL both locally and nationally – and I know this will happen one day – but for now I remind myself that I’m supporting as many families as I can face to face, online and by phone or text. Is there anything LLL does – or could do – beyond your group that you’d like to tell the world about? I really wish that more families knew about LLL. If LLL hadn’t been mentioned to me at the peer supporter group I was attending, I’m not sure I would have found it on my own. I’ll always be thankful to the person who suggested I joined my local LLL Facebook group. LLL helped to shape my parenting journey in ways I could’ve only imagined. I’d also like to tell the whole world how wonderful our LLLGB website is. It’s so great to have so many wonderfully written, evidence based links that we can share with families all over the world. If you had a friend with a new baby, what would you take as a gift on your first visit? “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” would be an obvious choice, but I would have already given this to them while they were pregnant. I’d take some cake, because we all appreciate a bit of this, but I’d also offer my time for listening, talking, making a lovely family meal or anything else my friend would like me to do. I remember how intense those early days, weeks and months were and I’d love to be able to help my friend through those times. What would you say is the biggest benefit of LLL membership? When I became a member, I really felt I was connected to LLLGB nationally in addition to being a part of my local group. I loved that a portion of my membership fee went back into my local group to buy new resources. I am addicted to books, so I was always on the look out for something new to read in our library. I also love coming home and finding my copy of Breastfeeding Matters on the doormat. Each and every story is inspiring and I’m always in awe of the families who have chosen to share their breastfeeding and parenting journeys with us.

Photos courtesy of Kathryn Robson

27 Emma Taylor, LLL Colchester

mothers (and if you don't know, read the sidebar on page 31). The NHS and the “I just don't know what to say to Department of Health promote breastfeeding as the healthy choice, and my friends. They can see me for many people this is one of the main struggling with breastfeeding, and reasons for choosing it. they can't understand why I don't However, feeding babies is an emotive just formula feed like they are. topic. One mother told our group that she had been asked why she breastfed They're all going to the cinema by another mother whose formula-fed next week without their babies, children had asthma, eczema and allergies. She told us that she felt she and there's no way I can go with couldn't say anything about the health them because I can't be away from impact of breastfeeding without sounding my baby for that long”. like she was saying “it's your fault that your children aren't healthy”. Maybe it's a question of who you're speaking to: you might decide that someone who is expecting a baby, or may have (more) children in the future, really deserves to know the truth about the impact of breastfeeding on health outcomes, for her own This mother was attending our La Leche sake and for her baby's. Your mother or League group for the first time, with her grandmother, on the other hand, might feel four-week-old baby, but the topic was a criticised or blamed if you overload them with familiar one. It seems to come up every few a heap of facts when it's too late for them to weeks, in various forms: “my grandmother said that she never breastfed any of her children do anything differently. and they all turned out healthy”; “my mum said “It's much cheaper” there's no need to keep breastfeeding now my baby's eating solids”; “my partner thinks I With formula costing around £40 per month – should switch over to formula so he can feed without taking into account initial expenses like the baby too”. Mothers are often worried that bottles, sterilising equipment, cool-bags for an honest response treating breastfeeding as carrying bottles around and so on, or other the biological norm might sound like criticism ongoing costs like sterilising solution and the of those who don’t do it; others find it hard to fuel cost of boiling the kettle several times a put into words what's special to them about day – you can cheerfully think of every the breastfeeding relationship that they have breastfeed as a deposit into your savings with their babies. Here are some of the account, or you can find something else you'd suggestions we've discussed in our group over rather spend that money on. Although many the years, with thoughts about when they breastfeeding mums do choose to buy special might be useful. breastfeeding bras and tops, these are easily available second hand at bargain prices, or you “It's good for our health” may be happy to breastfeed while wearing a pre-baby top and an ordinary non-wired bra. If You can't walk through a maternity ward or you feel comfortable giving this answer to baby clinic without seeing posters proclaiming people who ask about breastfeeding, it's a the benefits of breastfeeding, and the facts are good one for shutting down a conversation certainly impressive. You probably know many that you don't want to continue with, as so of the facts about all the wonderful things that many people are squeamish about discussing 28 breastfeeding does for both babies and money! like you're choosing the hard option, but hopefully you and your baby will soon “It's better for the environment” establish a comfortable breastfeeding You may have friends who are interested in all relationship which allows you to be lazy in all things green, or maybe you already have a sorts of ways: no shopping trips to buy reputation as some kind of eco nut so this fits formula, no washing and sterilising, no getting right in with what your loved ones expect to up in the night to fetch and heat a bottle, no hear from you! Either way, the environmental carrying supplies with you when you travel. impact of formula is huge: methane emissions When it's working well, breastfeeding can be from dairy farming, carbon emissions during very much the easy option. manufacturing and transportation, the “I'm doing it to lose weight” electricity required to heat water, the landfill generated by formula To be precise, several containers and bottles people in our group and teats. It all adds up suggested their main to a compelling motivation for environmental case for breastfeeding was “to eat breastfeeding, if you're more cake and not get asked about it by fat”. I'm not sure an article someone with green in Breastfeeding Matters sympathies. can endorse that exactly as it stands... but maybe “It's natural” some friends who ask you You may have read that about breastfeeding La Leche League would be interested to International recently know that it's a way of changed the wording using around 500 kcal per of one of their concept day, possibly while sitting statements from “Breast on the sofa watching TV. milk is the superior “I'm just doing what I'm food” to “Human told” milk is the natural food for babies, uniquely This is a gentler version of meeting their changing “we do things differently needs”. Saying Photo courtesy of Lucie Glynn nowadays”, which was “breastfeeding is what many mothers said natural” to some they wanted to respond to people invites smart retorts (“so is cholera!”), older relatives who were concerned to see but if you're asked about breastfeeding by them parenting very differently from the way someone who's simply curious, it can be that they did. It may be helpful to say “my helpful to present breastmilk as the normal midwife/health visitor/GP told me to feed the way that humans across the world and baby whenever he's hungry rather than throughout history feed their babies. For sticking to a schedule”, or whatever the issue example, I have occasionally answered is. If you want instructions from a higher relatives' questions with something like this: authority, you can tell whoever's asking that “I'd be willing to use formula if for some the UK Department of Health recommends reason I couldn't breastfeed, just as I'd be exclusive breastfeeding for six months, and the willing to use a prosthetic limb if I needed one, World Health Organization encourages but given that my breasts and my legs work mothers to breastfeed for a minimum of two fine, I don't see the need for any kind of years. substitute”. “I'm just doing what that celebrity does” “I'm just lazy” OK, so as a rule it's not always a good idea to This is one of my personal favourites, possibly base your life on what you've heard that an because I'm confident that anyone who knows actress/model/singer/reality TV star is doing. me will believe it! In the early weeks it may But I feel a huge amount of gratitude to all the look to people unfamiliar with breastfeeding 29 women who have used their fame, and it's working well for us”. people's eagerness to see photos of them, to normalise and support breastfeeding. A quick “I'd like to give it a good try” internet search will find many beautiful pictures One new mum talked about how hard it was to that celebrities have released on social media get support from her friends who were formula and even glossy magazine photoshoots of feeding their babies. When she talked to them them breastfeeding their babies and toddlers. about the struggles she had with establishing “I enjoy it” breastfeeding, they told her to abandon it rather than cause herself any more anguish. Some people who are really unfamiliar with Although they were trying to take care of her, breastfeeding, or who struggled with it for a what she really wanted was encouragement to few days or weeks before stopping, might find help her to continue breastfeeding. Sometimes this answer a little odd. But although it may not you may need to make it clear to those around be the reason why most mothers start out you – partners, friends, parents – that you breastfeeding, often it plays a big part in their would like them to listen compassionately when decisions to continue with it. It's not widely you talk about any difficulties you are having, talked about, but breastfeeding can be a really but that breastfeeding really matters to you lovely experience: a time of and you would also appreciate connection with your child, their help to get through any the pleasure of knowing difficulties that you have with it. that you are able to meet his needs, a moment of In the grand scheme of things, calm in a busy day, or the does it really matter what you physical sense of relaxation say? Well, I think it does, partly and happiness that comes because we all know what it with the rush of feels like to be confronted by breastfeeding hormones. If someone, say nothing at the the person asking you time then spend days afterwards about breastfeeding is re-running the conversation in pregnant, I think it's only your head and saying all the fair to let them know that things you wish you'd thought although the early days can of at the time. But I also think be hard, persevering with that we owe it to other potential breastfeeding can be a truly breastfeeding mothers (and enjoyable experience for potentially breastfed babies) to both mother and baby. be honest about the delights of breastfeeding. Speaking up “It works for us” about breastfeeding can also let Photo courtesy of Rose Rowson other mothers know that you As a group, this was what might be sympathetic to them if we settled on as our favourite answer for they need someone to speak to about their situations when what we really wanted to say own experiences; our LLL group has spoken was “I don't think this is any of your business often about the need for “breastfeeding and I don't want to discuss it with you”. friends” for those conversations that others Sometimes you don't have anything to gain by might not relate to. And even those people getting into a discussion about the merits of who aren't going to breastfeed – your dad, the breastfeeding. I was once approached by a older woman in the café, your friend who much older woman in a café, a complete formula-fed – may be in a position to influence stranger, who spoke kindly to me and my other people's decisions. Formula milk has a children, then started to tell me in great detail vast advertising budget behind it; mothers who about her horrendous experience of feel confident enough to speak up can be breastfeeding and how terrible it had been for powerful advocates for breastfeeding when her. This wasn’t an invitation for me to answering other people’s questions about why persuade her that she was wrong, or to tell her we choose to nurse our babies. how brilliant my own experience was; all I needed was something gentle along the lines of “I know it doesn't work out for everyone, but 30 Our Lucy Logo pendant will make - Breastmilk is a complete, your outfit perfect food for your baby that adapts to suit her needs. extra special! - Breastmilk has powerful anti-infective properties to protect your baby against 60th Anniversary pendant designed allergies, digestive problems, and created and many acute and chronic exclusively for LLLGB illnesses. using 3D printing - Breastfeeding sets up the techniques functioning of a baby’s www.lllgbbooks.co.uk immune system, digestive system and metabolism for life. - The process of breastfeeding shapes the The welcome return of a favourite product! correct development of your Help us celebrate the 60th Anniversary of LLL baby’s face and jaw. International and 45th Anniversary of LLLGB with this - Breastfeeding a newborn sturdy box-style jute bag proudly displaying La Leche slows down blood loss and League GB's name, logo and anniversary helps the mother’s uterus to inscription. Perfect for shopping, work or keeping things return to its normal size. tidy. - Exclusive breastfeeding Bag size when fully open approx 29 x 28 x 17cm. slows down the return of www.lllgbbooks.co.uk regular periods. - Breastfeeding reduces a mother's risk of developing breast, ovarian, cervical and uterine cancer, as well as osteoporosis. - The closeness of breastfeeding strengthens a mother's bond with her baby and a baby's attachment to her mother. 31 Nobody Told Me, by Hollie Mcnish

“Nobody Told Me” performance. “Embarrassed” is now a film and by Hollie McNish continues to collect YouTube hits, which now recently won the sit at about four hundred and fifty thousand Ted Hughes award views. for excellent new work in poetry, and “Nobody Told Me” is such a refreshing read. It I was really glad to is a book which talks about motherhood as it hear this. Not only is lived and experienced; there is no sugar because Hollie’s coating here, no frills, all reality. This kind of poetic memoir writing addresses the conflicts many mothers showcases writing are facing: the wondering about sex whilst of great skill and honesty, but also because a wishing for sleep, the sheer joy of being with book which foregrounds pregnancy, birth, a child, but wondering about the perceived motherhood and the challenges of parenting lost freedoms that other childless friends in contemporary society was deemed worthy enjoy, the questions and judgements, often of such an accolade. Maybe mothers do from complete strangers. I particularly like matter and what we do is worthy of being Hollie’s ability to cut right to the meanings of talked about. small things, such as the joys of picking fruit in the park, and the eye to eye exchange with It’s a weighty volume, just over four hundred another woman in the street, bringing the and fifty pages, and is divided into fourteen instant comparison of shopping bags and sections which take the reader on a journey wondering if the other is somehow doing it from the time when Hollie discovered her better. I also related to the candid sharing of accidental pregnancy after peeing on a stick Hollie’s tears and embarrassment at being in a toilet at King’s Cross station on her way to minutes late for a solo night out and being Glastonbury Festival, to the massive milestone denied access to a theatre, and how much of her daughter starting preschool at the age this meant to her. No spoilers, but I feel my of three. own response to the situation, caused by a late babysitter, might have been very similar. The candid description of pregnancy and birth as being nothing like how they are often I don’t think another book like this exists and shown on TV sets up the premise for much of it is a pleasure to read about mothering in a Hollie’s writing. I could definitely relate to the way that uses the art of the diary and poetry piece on the third stage of labour and the to bring the realities of life with a little one to shock of the placenta, both in terms of size a wider audience. I found myself nodding and and texture, “like a cold jelly between my agreeing, laughing and crying. It is not all legs.” The shock of the sudden responsibility easy reading, the poetic response to news for a whole new human being when you’re reports of drowning refugees has me sobbing not really sure how to hold one and the every time I read it, but I think uncomfortable thought of never ever wanting to go to the things need to be said. I would highly toilet again also resonated with me! recommend this book, from a poet who writes about doing her best, sometimes In a mixture of diary entries and the poetry getting it right, sometimes questioning Hollie is so well known for, we are taken everything. If you can, it would be well worth through her travels into motherhood and the opportunity to see her live. made party to the world of water bottles placed strategically around the home by her Review by Alison Jones, LLL Oxfordshire partner, to quench the surging thirst that LLLGB hasn't yet officially approved this book for breastfeeding can bring. We also share inclusion in our Group Libraries. However, the insights into Hollie’s experience of feeling like Editorial Team of Breastfeeding Matters would like an impostor, which is something I certainly to recommend it to our readers as we believe that felt and continue to feel about mothering. The so many of us would find it enjoyable and feel poems “Embarrassed” and “Wow!” are there heartened and encouraged by it. 32 and they work just as well on the page as in Photo courtesy of Rose Ganly

We love receiving letters from our readers. Send yours in to [email protected]

Because I opened my eyes, I witnessed my son (2 years 9 months) and my daughter (5 months) holding hands and looking into each other's eyes whilst tandem feeding this morning. How often do we miss these precious and inspiring moments because we have our eyes closed, are on our phones, watching TV or hiding our children under muslins? I hope you can blank out the world even for just one feed today and open your eyes to absorb your moment.

Janey Samuel, LLL Nottingham

33

Thank you Lois Rowlands ! Lois recently retired from her role of LLLGB Trustee and Publications Director which she took on in November 2011. She decided to retire in June 2017 and we would all like to thank her for her wonderful work over the last five and a half years! During this time she oversaw the production of Breastfeeding Matters, including the transition to an electronic version of this publication, and our online Leader blog FEEDBACK. She introduced LLLGB social media guidelines and strategy, as well as updated safeguarding policies and Photo courtesy of Lois Rowlands guidelines for LLLGB's volunteers. She was co-creator of the current LLLGB website, launched in 2016, and continues to support work on it. Thank you Lois for all you did!

Antenatal Beginning Breastfeeding Courses Are you expecting a baby? Do you know someone who is? Our Beginning Breastfeeding antenatal classes are now available in many groups across the country. Finding out about breastfeeding before your baby is born can be a huge help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start. The workshops are aimed at mums and dads/partners/other persons supporting mum. Contact us to find out about the course costs – [email protected], and read more here https://www.laleche.org.uk/ antenatal-courses/. Photo courtesy of Jacqueline Rachman

Crossword Solution

New Leaders

LLLGB is proud to announce and welcome our most recent Leaders: Lorraine Wilson, LLL Tyne and Wear Julie Crockford, LLL Cambridge

34 make a difference ... Photo courtesy of Lois Rowlands

Choosing to buy your breastfeeding and parenting books from our LLLGB Shop directly helps other mothers and babies.

All our profits go to support LLLGB’s charitable work. It’s money well spent!

For our full range of information leaflets and books on breastfeeding and parenting, visit:

lllgbbooks.co.uk LLL Books Ltd, P O Box 29, West Bridgford, Nottingham, NG2 7NP

Company No 1566925 Registered Charity No 283771 35 La Leche League Philosophy

Mothering through breastfeeding is the most natural and effective way of understanding and satisfying the needs of the baby.

Mother and baby need to be together early and often to establish a satisfying relationship and an adequate milk supply.

In the early years the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food.

Human milk is the natural food for babies, uniquely meeting their changing needs.

For the healthy, full-term baby, breastmilk is the only food necessary until the baby shows signs of needing solids, about the middle of the first year after birth .

Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need.

Alert and active participation by the mother in is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start.

Breastfeeding is enhanced and the nursing couple sustained by the loving support, help, and companionship of the baby's . A father's unique relationship with his baby is an important element in the child's development from early infancy.

Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible.

From infancy on, children need loving guidance which reflects acceptance of their capabilities and sensitivity

36 to their feelings.