UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY

VOLUME 47 | ISSUE NO. 35 | MARCH 29 | 2007

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THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY GAUNTLET | VOLUME 47 | ISSUE NO. 35 | MARCH 29 | 2007 contents

Scandal, intrigue and fl ooded basements news page 5

Residence Services made page fi ve news again. This time it’s not for broken down rez rooms or late-night fi re drills, but increased pedestrian safety measures along 32 Ave. nw. Also in a busy news week: a presidential scandal on page fi ve, a human rights activist on six, a fl ood on seven and illegal suites on page eight.

It’s an invasion! opinions page 12

That’s right, Canada is being invaded! Well, not really, but it might be if we don’t protect our northern shores. Also, a look at the state of print journalism today, the state of perfumed persons in society and an open letter to Nova Scotia. Sweet!

The (mostly) fi lm issue! entertainment page 17

This week, we explore the magical world of fi lm! But not really in a way that’s more interesting, in depth, or well-researched than the way we normally do. There’s just more of it. So, uh, yeah!

The U of C has history? features page 27 photo to the editor Apparently it has a bunch, like 40-plus years’ worth. At least that’s what intrepid boy reporter, and resident Gauntlet failure boy, Jon Roe found out “Refl ecting home” by Sarah Chidley when he failed to not interview three people. Now that’s exciting failure! hile in Germany we took a road trip and stopped in a small town called Manau. In a tiny little sports store I Leapin’ snowmobiles Wcaught a glimpse of this Calgary Flames jersey in the window. Go Flames go! sports page 35

Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard of snowmobile jumping. Put your Anyone can submit an original photo to the editor. Drop off your high resolution photo hand down, you liar. If you didn’t know about it before—and you didn’t— along with your name, contact information and a brief description including type of then you will after reading the sports section! Also, a profi le of ’80s Dinos camera (not exceeding 30 words) to room 319 MacEwan Student Centre or email quarterback Greg Vavra and more bracket action. I like to call it br-action! [email protected] editorial and letters March 29 2007

Editor-in-Chief: Chris Beauchamp 220-7752 [email protected]

News Editor: Emily Senger 220-4318 300 ways to [email protected] Entertainment: Kyle Francis 220-4376 [email protected]

Sports: Jon Roe 220-4376 [email protected] anger Iran Opinions: Kate Foote 220-4376 [email protected]

he fi lm 300 is a lot of things. It aside, it didn’t help that its release fell Features: Garth Paulson 220-4376 is borderline racist, possibly on Norouz—the Persian new year— [email protected] misogynist and doubtlessly a time when Iranians observe ancient Photography: Chris Tait 220-4376 T [email protected] homoerotic. It is also, in the unin- Zoroastrian rites that date back over tentionally meaningful words of a 3,000 years—far before Islam. To Production: Ændrew Rininsland 220-4376 15-year-old who shuffl ed along in Iranians, it seemed like an open [email protected] front of me as we exited the theatre, taunt, a cultural watermark on the Illustrations: Danny Kirk 220-4376 “fucking rad.” changing American public opinion [email protected] The film depicts outrageously- regarding the nation. Never mind News Assistants: Katy Anderson and Sara Hanson muscled, obviously-white Europeans that it wasn’t the cruel Americans [email protected] viciously slaughtering a superior or the wicked Jews who overthrew Sports Assistant: Amanda Hu invading force of grotesque-look- the Persian Sassanid dynasty in the [email protected] ing Persians in cg-assisted, slow- seventh century and all-but drove out Escapes And Pursuits: Ryan Pike 220-4376 motion glory. Every now and then Zoroastrianism over the next hun- [email protected] the Spartans will take a break from dred years—it was an Arab army. Academic Probation: Ben Hoffman 220-4376 killing to shout something about The problem—and that is to say, [email protected] “freedom” or “glory” at the top of the biggest problem—isn’t that the Three Lines Free: Rachel Betts-Wilmott 220-4376 their lungs, but other than a few Iranians are completely wrong about [email protected] implied stops to oil themselves up 300. They aren’t even that far off the Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 220-7380 and re-apply their eye shadow, that mark, actually. The Spartan bias [email protected] fi rst sentence just about sums up the exists in both the film’s narrative Advertising Manager: John Harbidge 220-7751 whole experience. And, not unsur- and its visuals—the Anglo heroes [email protected] prisingly, Iran is furious. depicted as rippling gladiators and Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 220-7755 Adding to their pyre of “Western the Persians as terrifying monsters [email protected] things to be angry about” that also led by an eight-foot sexbeast. The Network Manager: Ben Li includes music, the U.S. dollar and problem is that the film’s visual Typesetter: Joëlle Robichaud kites, the Iranian government has rhetoric is justifi ed by its narrative publicly decried the fi lm and a peti- structure, and everyone seems to be Contributors Todd Andre • Sarelle Azuelos • Andrew Barbero • Cam tion demanding that it be banned forgetting about that. Cotton-O’Brien • Kevin De Vlaming • Marina Foo • Lindsay from theatres has circulated through At the end of the movie, we learn Goodwin • Jon Gregg • Robin Ianson • Christina Lam Christian Louden • Kenzie Love • Geoff MacIntosh • Jordyn Tehran. While the Western gut reac- that the entire story was told by one Marcellus • John McDonald • Dan Pagan • Stewart Pallard tion might be to mutter something surviving Spartan to an enormous Alex Ramadan • Kris Schmidt • Kay She • Julianne Yip Darren Young about “fundamentalism” through retaliatory force, and there’s an Editor, the Gauntlet our teeth, is it really that surprising implication made by doing that The federal government Canada Golden Spatula Cam Cotton-O’Brien for pulling out a rockin’ fi rst opinions when a Muslim theocracy gets angry on fi lm. A story told once will gain You can help the Pension Plan Disability Pension piece and having the cajones to run for a Tier II position about their bronze-age counterparts certain embellishments, but a story disabled! Guide states: “Your cpp disabil- in his fi rst year. being depicted as dumb, self-mutila- told thousands of times—enough ity pension is considered taxable Furor Arma Ministrat tion obsessed hedonists? to make it into an age when it can Editor, the Gauntlet, income.” The federal government Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre University of Calgary Operating under the assumption be re-created and recorded by cam- No one knows if or when you or needs to change the cpp disability 2500 University Drive, NW that director Zack Snyder’s 14–25 eras—will look like a fairytale. Snyder a loved one could become disabled pension to become the cpp disabil- Calgary, AB T2N 1N4 General inquires: 220-7750 demographic has even the vaguest is explicit about this legendary (read: and unable to work. If you should ity benefi t and make these monies http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca knowledge of ancient geography, untrustworthy) quality of the narra- become disabled, you will probably non taxable in the same way that The Gauntlet is the offi cial student newspaper of the University of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the Iran—despite any valid justifi cations tive, giving him blanket justifi cation end up on a combination of provin- provincial disability monies are Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body. Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the for their anger—has missed the for any historical inaccuracy. Even cial and federal disability benefi ts. non taxable. Pensions are taxable, U of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to contribute. Opinions contained herein are those of individual point. While Snyder’s stab-fest Herodotus—on whose writings Did you know that provincial dis- benefi ts are not. writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet staff. Editorials are chosen by a majority of the editorial board. certainly does have a ham-fisted Frank Miller based much of the ability benefits are non taxable, To help, please write or The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, political subtext, anyone who had original graphic novel—estimated but the federal disability pension email Prime Minister Harper at libelous, or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the their eyes open during the fi lm was the actual invading Persian force at is considered taxable income? [email protected] or write to Offi ce of Gauntlet follow a three-step process which requires written 1.7 80 decisions from the Editor, the GPS Board of Directors, and the more embarrassed for the film- around million, a number modern This means that if you were lucky the Prime Minister, Wellington Ombudsboard. The complete Grievance Policy is online at: http: 300 10 k1a 0a2 //gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. The Gauntlet is printed on recycled paper and makers than outraged at them. If historians feel is times too high. enough to have been employed, Street, Ottawa, Ontario, , uses ski club-based ink. We urge you to recycle/fuck the Gauntlet. does set out to prove something by In that way, the Iranian petition that you will end up with fewer discre- and tell him to change the cpp Letter Policy having oiled-up male models hit calls 300 “fraudulent and distorted” tionary dollars each month than if disability pension to a benefit Letters must be typed, double-spaced and received by Monday at 4 p.m., and must include the author’s name, student ID number, each other for nearly two hours, isn’t wrong at all, it’s just misdirected. you had never worked. and make it non taxable, so that telephone number and signature. Letters will not be printed if they include attacks of a strictly personal nature, statements that it’s that you don’t need to fi lm anal Of course the Persians weren’t Each province has a policy simi- disabled persons are treated fairly discriminate on the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, or libellous or defamatory material. All letters should be addressed penetration to make gay porn. deformed, sex-crazed sadists—no lar to Alberta’s Assured Income for whether they are on provincial or to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer than 300 words. The Gauntlet retains the right to edit submissions. Letters can be While it would be well-in-keeping more than they employed the use the Severely Handicapped policy federal disability programs. delivered or mailed to the Gauntlet offi ce, Room 319 MacEwan with the tenants of the Koran to be of war Rhinos and ogres with jagged which states: “Canada Pension Plan Student Centre, or sent by e-mail to [email protected]. upset about the veiled homosexuality blades instead of arms. No one who income is considered at gross Sharon Malott The Cover in the fi lm, it wasn’t the beast Iran watches the fi lm will leave believing level because income tax deduc- photograph and design by Chris Tait chose to fi ght. Instead, a government that. While Snyder might be guilty tions are not mandatory.” Also, spokesman has called it “cultural and of having some unintentionally bad each province has a policy that CORRECTION psychological warfare” on behalf of politics and some unintentionally disabled persons need to have a “U of C vet school slow out of a Jewish-controlled Hollywood, hilarious homoeroticism, it’s all just certain dollar amount each month the gate,” Sara Hanson, Dec. 7, preparing the American people for for the sake of good fi lmmaking. to be able to live in that province. 2006, stated that “the American war in Iran. If the provinces use the cpp net Veterinary Medicine Association Government conspiracy and the Kyle Francis level, the provincial taxpayers had visited the U of C last June, film’s $70 million opening gross Entertainment Editor would end up paying the disabled but the university failed to receive persons’ income tax, then topping accreditation and pushed back its up the dollar amount to the dollar opening date one year.” However, amount that each province states The avma did not visit the Faculty they have designated that people of Veterinary Medicine for an need to have to live on in that accreditation visit. It was simply a province. This would be unfair to consultative meeting, and therefore all citizens. did not “fail” an accreditation. GAUNTLET MARCH 29.07 5 news Editor: Emily Senger—[email protected] Pedestrian lights added to dangerous road Residence Services foots bill for safety measures along 32 Ave NW

Sara Hanson Residence Services decided to pay News Assistant for installation of the lights, at an estimated cost of between $50,000 esidence Services is tak- and $75,000. ing the next step to ensure Director of Residence Services Rpedestrian safety around Joel Lynn noted the money is on the University of Calgary’s family loan to the city. housing complex. “We’ll have those dollars back to The university announced Tues., our budget by 2008,” he said. “This March 27 that Residence Services is is a substantial priority for our stu- fronting the cost of crosswalk safety dents and family housing.” measures that the City of Calgary Grisak noted that although warranted for the intersection Residence Services has agreed to at 32 Ave. and 37 St. nw. advance the money, the city will Immediately following the still be involved in the physical January collision that claimed the construction of the lights. life of six-year old Jenna Chang “This is a partnership with the uni- and badly injured her mother, versity, a partnership to do what’s U of C nursing student Ye Qiao best for the university and the safety Chang, the university sent a let- of pedestrians,” said Grisak. ter to the city requesting a review While Lynn is pleased with the of the intersection, as well as the city’s decision to ensure the safety other roads surrounding the uni- of pedestrians crossing 32 Ave., he versity. expressed concern for other roads, Daniel Pagan/the Gauntlet Associate vice-president of specifi cally 24 Ave., that are in close campus infrastructure Steve Three pedestrians have been killed along this stretch of 32 Avenue NW in the last fi ve years. proximity to the residences. Dantzer explained that the city has Dantzer agreed with Lynn’s completed their review of the fatal nals engineer Pat Grisak explained received a score of 81 and needed a “The budget for 2007 projects has concerns. intersection. that a number of factors were taken minimum of 80 to qualify for the already been decided,” said Grisak. “The university will be working “Based on their assessments into account in the assessment, fl ashing lights. “A project may be warranted now, with the city this spring to review and scoring system, the city has including vehicle volume, the Dantzer noted the university but the budget would not permit it the roads and see if pedestrian safety determined that [the intersection] number of pedestrians, the ages of initially ran into a problem, as the until 2008.” can be improved,” he said. warrants fl ashers at the crosswalk,” pedestrians, the number of lanes, city does not review the warranted As the safety of pedestrians is a Grisak said a request for traffi c he said. speed limits and the collision rate locations until November of each major concern following January’s counts along 24 Ave. has already Senior City of Calgary traffi c sig- at the intersection. The intersection year. fatal collision, Dantzer said been put forward to the city. Vicious emails bring Mount Royal student president under fi re

Emily Senger U of C vp external Julie Labonte. for campaign purposes. News Editor Wyatt said she was surprised to “The main problem was [the receive an email from Macpherson email] was sent from his president A nasty election email sent from asking her to support his elec- email, rather than his personal the Mount Royal College student tion campaign. She responded to account,” noted Wyatt. president to the University of the email by telling Macpherson U of C su chief returning offi cer Calgary Students’ Union president she had to remain neutral Mike Brown said the su doesn’t has landed one of the presidents in and forwarded the email to Labonte. have specifi c defamation election hot water. Somehow the email got into the bylaws, but noted the content of Current Mount Royal Students’ hands of an mrc vp who brought posters is limited. Association president Jon Mac- it to the attention of council. Then “Candidates can’t make reference pherson, who was re-elected to the Calgary Herald also reported to any other candidates on their pro- a second term Sat., March 7, was on the story. motional material,” he said. punished by the mrc students’ coun- “I don’t go to Mount Royal, so In addition to the apology to cil for sending an email to U of C I don’t feel it’s my place to take Labonte and Wyatt, Macpherson su president Emily Wyatt defaming sides,” commented Wyatt. “It was will also lose his spot on the mrc his competitor, current vice-presi- an email sent just to me. The email board of governors as well as any dent student life Tami Rothery. wasn’t nice to his competitor, but I remaining vacation time. He can- Macpherson ended up winning was surprised to see it on the front not hold leadership positions on the election over Rothery—his page of the Herald [city section].” any external lobby groups and is only other competitor—by 428 Wyatt noted the U of C su’s required to pay a $1,000 fi ne to the votes. As part of his punishment, bylaws prohibit candidates students’ association. he is required to write letters from using su resources such Macpherson did not return phone courtesy the MRC Refl ector of apology to both Wyatt and as email addresses or photocopiers calls before deadline. MRC Students’ Association president Jon Macpherson. campus quips What would you do if there was a transit strike?

“I’d be totally “I actually don’t use “I would drop out “I’d have zero screwed.” transit because I of school because dollars because I’d – Andrea Moriarty, drive.” I have a one-hour have to drive all the humanities grad – Reno Serani, fourth- transit commute time.” year business every morning.” – Michelle – Jeetam Sidhu, sec- Scenkenfelder, ond-year sciences fi rst-year biological sciences Interviews: Emily Senger Photographs: Jon Roe 6 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET NEWS RCMP sergeant speaks out about Darfur Debbie Bodkin shares stories of displaced Sudanese

Katy Anderson we go out and arrest them. So for me News Assistant to understand why we interviewed all theses hundreds of people and niversity of Calgary stu- clearly have evidence of horrible dents will get a chance to things going on, why something hear the stories of Darfur can’t be done. It’s hard for me to U 4 victims Wed., April . understand.” Sergeant Debbie Bodkin, a police Bodkin noted there is a problem offi cer from Guelph, Ontario was with the vocabulary used to defi ne one of 12 investigators who were part the crisis. The defi nition of genocide of the United Nations Commission is vague and can be interpreted in of Inquiry into Darfur. Bodkin and many different ways. her colleagues interviewed thou- “In the end they deemed that the sands affected by the crisis that has elements of a specifi c target group consumed Sudan and neighboring were missing as far as the defi nition nations. of genocide,” said Bodkin. “If the un “The grassroots base of the war is had deemed it a genocide it forces that the Arab people who live there their hand more to take action. now are nomadic people who have If it’s ‘crimes against humanity’ livestock and cattle and move them it doesn’t have this [sense of] to wherever the good land and the emergency.” water is,” said Bodkin. “Whereas the Shortly after she returned to native African people are farmers Canada, Bodkin dealt with post- who have to live where the good traumatic stress disorder. She said Gauntlet fi le photo land and the water is. So you have doing speeches helps her deal with the Arabs driving their livestock U of C students camped out on the MacEwan Student Centre lawn in April 2005 to protest ongo- living her day-to-day life while she over the crops and land of the ing confl ict in Darfur. knows so many are being slaugh- farmers. That’s the base of the tered and raped. confl ict.” would ride in on horses and fi nish who sat in a courtyard in front of Bodkin said the members of the “Because nothing is changing Bodkin said the Sudanese gov- killing the men, steal the young everyone, risking both her reputa- African Union she stayed with also all I can think about is its still hap- ernment is heavily involved in the boys—to make them look after tion and her life so she could be voiced frustration about not being pening,” said Bodkin. “All those confl ict. livestock—hold some of the women interviewed. able to take action because of a lack thousands of stories that I heard, “Those people out there don’t hostage and rape them continuously “She told the story of being of equipment and a mandate only I could go there and hear them have money,” said Bodkin. “They until they were through. Then they gang-raped over the all over again don’t have weapons on their own. would clear out the village, take all course of three days by and from dif- Everything is coming from some- the livestock, belongings and every- about nine men along “If the UN had deemed it a genocide it ferent people where and Khartoum is where thing and then burn the village. They with a group of other because nothing’s the government is; it’s where the were the fi nal sweep.” women who were held forces their hand more to take action. If changed. I don’t money is.” Because most of the men were captive,” said Bodkin. know what else Bodkin lamented that interview- killed, the majority of those inter- “She cried throughout it’s ‘crimes against humanity’ it doesn’t to do anymore. ees’ stories would always start off in viewed were women, said Bodkin. the interview but she That’s what I fi nd the same way. “We tried to keep the privacy—for was determined to have this [sense of] emergency.” the most frustrat- “Usually a government helicopter the women especially who had been tell every detail. She -Debbie Bodkin, ing of all.” or plane would fl y over and drop raped—because in their culture it’s ended up being taken RCMP sergeant Bodkin is bombs,” Bodkin said. “It would stop so taboo they call it being ‘spoiled,’” to a hospital and she speaking about for a minute and then the govern- said Bodkin. “Not only are you said, ‘They removed her experiences ment trucks with the guns would raped, you’re spoiled. You’re spoiled things from me,’ so I assume she to supervise. in ict 121 Wed., April 4 drive through and start shooting as far as your family’s concerned, had a hysterectomy as a result of “I’m a regular police offi cer,” said at 4 p.m. Admission is free everyone. They would leave and as far as ever having a husband and all the rapes. That [case] has always Bodkin. “With my job here, when I and the event is hosted by the fi nally the Janjaweed [militia sup- so on.” ate away at me because in the end I interview someone and get the evi- Students Taking Action Now: ported by the Sudanese government] Bodkin told the story of a woman didn’t do anything.” dence that there’s a crime going on Darfur club. Students dissatisfi ed: Maclean’s

Sara Hanson students if they are very satisfi ed News Assistant with the overall quality of their education and whether or not they University of Calgary students would recommend their university are generally less satisfied with to others, the U of C ranked at the their university experience than bottom of the list. students from other institutions Twenty-one per cent of across Canada, according to U of C students who were surveyed the April 2 issue of Maclean’s ‘agreed strongly’ that their learning magazine. experience has been intellectually The results of three national stu- stimulating, and 18 per cent ‘agreed dent surveys that questioned more strongly’ with the statement ‘I am than 70,000 Canadian university stu- satisfi ed with the quality of teach- dents were published in the second ing I have received.’ Sixty-four per annual University Student Issue. cent of U of C respondents said their The U of C participated in the experience at the U of C has met their Canadian Undergraduate Survey expectations, while 10 per cent said Consortium, which sent a ques- their experience has exceeded their tionnaire to a random sampling of expectations. 1,000 students who are graduating Twenty-three universities partici- this spring. In the sections asking pated in the cusc survey. GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 29.07 7 Guelph accepts eggs from happy chickens only

Kate Foote undercover investigation of a farm Opinions Editor belonging to a poultry veterinar- ian linked to the university. The tudents at the University of results of the investigation spurred Guelph will get a taste of free- the initiative in Guelph and Misha Sdom when they enjoy products Buob, a member of the university’s made with eggs this September. Hospitality Services advisory Guelph is the fi rst Canadian uni- committee and supporter of the versity to approve a policy banning Chicken Out! Initiative, is hopeful the use of eggs produced by hens other Canadian universities will kept in battery cages from all its food follow suit. services as part of the Chicken Out! “We’re trying to get the ball rolling project, launched by the Vancouver on this,” said Buob. “We’re hoping Humane society. this happens all across Canada.” “The science is clear on this,” said The University of Calgary has Bruce Passmore, a Guelph gradu- yet to express interest, but the ate and coordinator of the Chicken University of British Columbia, Out! project. “Hens suffer in cages. Langara College, McGill University, They are unable to fl ap or stretch Concordia University and the their wings. Their feathers often rub University of Ottawa are looking against the cages or other birds and into instituting similar policies. chafe off. Sometimes they can’t even According to Buob, Canada is lag- stand fully or raise their heads.” ging behind when it comes to the Chris Tait/the Gauntlet The project seeks to alleviate welfare of hens. the suffering of hens in factory Come September Guelph students can enjoy ethical eggs. “Most animal welfare groups farms across Canada by pressing agree we’re behind on this issue,” Canadian universities to choose conditions for all farmed animals, immediately available,” said already seen that in the increasing said Buob. “The European Union free-range, free-run or certified the project focuses primarily on Passmore. “We’re working on demand for organic produce.” has banned the use of all battery organic eggs to supply their food egg-producing hens. the demand side—if consum- The University of Guelph cages by 2012. Over 100 universi- services. While Passmore hopes “We’re focused on eggs because ers switch to free-range eggs, the made the switch after deplorable ties in the United States have already this will set a precedent to improve a viable alternative is already industry will respond. We’ve conditions were discovered in an done this.” U of C pool closed after burst pipe fl oods basement

Amanda Hu skipped classes to squeegee the Even though the section of pipes Sports Assistant area and keep the water damage to was isolated as weak and repaired, a minimum. The support ultimately disaster wasn’t prevented. Patrons of the University of totaled almost 150 people. “I guess the repairs just didn’t Calgary Aquatic Centre will have “We were just lucky that it hap- hold,” said MacDonald. “The facil- to wait a while before getting their pened during the day in the morn- ity is 30-years-old now. Things like feet wet again. ing when our aquatic supervisor this are likely going to become more One of the main fl ow pipes to the [Marianne Grant] was there,” said prevalent.” pool burst Fri., March 23, releasing MacDonald. “If this had happened Many campus groups are affected large amounts of water into the base- at night or on the weekend, the by the breach, including the triath- ment below the pool and endangering kinesiology complex could have lon club, the master’s swim club, the other sections of the Fitness Centre. fl ooded extensively. The damage varsity team, the water polo team, Pool offi cials mobilized quickly to get would have been huge. Barring [the kayaking and all fi tness classes. the damage under control. burst] not happening at all, this was Despite the closure, the pool is “We had to isolate the fi lter system the best set of circumstances.” still accepting registration for spring in order to protect pool systems and The break comes as a result of classes as the Aquatic Centre is slated other areas,” said Aquatic Centre deferred-maintenance on campus. to reopen April 16. manager Dominque MacDonald. “Because it is a gravity-fed system, we had to wait until the water level became lower than the pipe to fully stop the fl ooding.” MacDonald added that the Calgary Fire Department was Chris Tait/the Gauntlet mobilized twice in addition to The pool sits empty after a main fl ow pipe exploded. caretaking staff and students who 8 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET NEWS City set to ease bylaws on secondary suites Alderman says proposed changes not likely to increase affordable housing

Kay She and Emily Senger for an unemployed student to be able “It’s simply a structure for a Gauntlet News to afford it.” builder to apply for land use per- According to the Calgary Action mits,” said Hodges, noting that if n the heat of Calgary’s housing Housing Initiative website, the City the bylaw passes it will not take effect crisis, City Council is propos- of Calgary estimated 57 per cent of until January 2008. “It’s up to the Iing a bylaw that would legalize rental units were informal in 2002. private industry to bring affordable secondary suites in single-family “Particularly in the student housing to the market.” districts, including the residential housing area, it is quite common The city held a public hearing areas surrounding the university. for there to be secondary suites,” March 19–20 to allow homeowners Secondary suites, such as rented said Students’ Union president and city organizations to discuss the basements and garages, are cur- Emily Wyatt. “This would formal- proposed bylaw, which will likely go rently illegal due to zoning issues, ize the process, and although it won’t to its third reading in council May 7, the lack of safety regulations and guarantee everyone who has these said Hodges. He noted the proposal general community dissent. The suites [will] legalize them, I hope it has garnered mixed feedback. bylaw change would acknowledge will encourage empty-nesters and “I think it’s someone’s own choice the existence of secondary suites people who have been turned off of if they want to rent their house and set rules to ensure their safety. renting out to students to turn out out,” said Wyatt. “It’s not like it “I think it would be a pretty good their places.” will become a huge party centre, idea,” said fi rst-year University of Despite students’ optimism Ward it’s just a place for students to live Calgary student Brian Cardone, 1 Alderman Dale Hodges said even with another family.” who came to Calgary from the Red if the bylaw passes it will not have Some homeowners suggested Deer area for schooling. “Housing is much effect on the Calgary housing amendments to the bylaw so it already so expensive, it’s ridiculous market. would apply exclusively to new communities. “That definitely concerns me because the new communities aren’t close to transit or any of the post- secondary institutions,” said Wyatt. Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet “That makes it extremely diffi cult Students hope a proposed city bylaw will reduce the number of for students who don’t have a car no vacancy signs in the city. to live there.” If the bylaw passes without amend- “I’m hoping the process will illegal secondary suites if there is ments, landlords in existing commu- make the suites safer and I’m hop- a complaint from a neighbour or a nities will still have to go through a ing it won’t deter potential land- former tenant, said Hodges. process in order to legalize their lords away,” said Wyatt. “I need “We don’t have money for doz- secondary suite. They would need to stress that in the event this does ens of bylaw offi cers to be rooting to submit an application and attend go through, students don’t need around the neighbourhoods,” he a public hearing process to gain the to live in a place that isn’t safe. If said. approval of their neighbors before you’re not comfortable in a place, Hodges said he will vote in favour their house may be re-zoned as a des- don’t rent it.” of the bylaw with the necessary ignated secondary suite property. Currently, the city only polices amendments. GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 29.07 9 AHFMR funding tops previous records

Sarelle Azuelos best researchers, and to help provide have to go through a rigorous each year for the next seven Gauntlet News them with a very positive research international peer review,” he said, years. He attributes his success environment,” stated ahfmr presi- noting this panel advises the ahfmr to his lab staff and the financial he Alberta Heritage dent and ceo Dr. Kevin Keough. of whom to give grants to and the support he’s acquired from the Foundation for Medical The foundation has given over foundation then decides how many foundation. Research announced a $900 million to researchers since researchers it can afford. “I came here four and a half T 1980 record amount of funding to health its establishment in . One such researcher at the years ago now from Ontario,” said researchers last week. “We now provide the best awards U of C is Dr. George Chaconas, who Chaconas. “The reason I was able The University of Calgary in the country,” said Keough. “What is currently working to understand to come was because I received a received almost $32 million for you get for the students are the the bacteria that causes Lyme disease, heritage fi nance award from ahfmr 29 researchers in this latest round people who are really at the lead- a tick-borne disease which, if left long and also an establishment grant of funding. Grants also went to ing edge of the science that they’re enough, is diffi cult to treat. which helped me to set up the lab the University of Alberta and the teaching about.” “We’re screening a library of we have here.” University of Lethbridge, totaling Keough also pointed out that 30,000 small molecules, looking “I’m blessed with people in the $59 million across the province. the foundation does not decide for one that attacks a particular lab because, I have to admit, they’re “It is to build and sustain a high- who receives the grants. process that we’ve been studying,” the ones that now do all the work.” quality health research endeavour in “It’s a very tough competition said Chaconas. They’re the ones that generate all Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet the province to attract and retain the because all the people we support Chaconas will receive $160,000 the data.” Chaconas. U.S. diplomat talks politics with students Darlene Seto policy towards the un, Africa, sucking the energy out of the right in his words, recalling many “I’ve worked with her and her Gauntlet News Asia and the Middle East, but is United States,” he said simply. moments from his time in former husband,” he said. “I think they’re perhaps best known for his role “I’m sure that things will eventually president Bill Clinton’s administra- wonderful people and I wish her all Former United States Ambassador as the architect of the 1995 Dayton wind their way to a sorry, pitiful tion, including the 1994 Rwandan the best.” to the United Nations Richard Peace Agreement which ended the conclusion.” genocide. The Palmer lectures are intended Holbrooke visited the University war in Bosnia. Holbrooke took questions regard- “There are no excuses,” he said. to promote discussion of public of Calgary this past week as the Holbrooke also took time to ing a variety of issues, including “Rwanda, by far, was the worst fail- policy and public issues by expos- speaker for this year’s James S. speak to a small gathering of Kosovo’s march to statehood fol- ure of the Clinton administration. ing students, faculty and staff, Palmer lecture. U of C students, displaying his lowing the 1999 nato bombings [Clinton] has apologized many as well as the wider community, Holbrooke’s lecture drew a knowledge of international rela- of the province, the fate of former times for it, but it is a time when to intellectuals of an international diverse crowd to hear the seven-time tions and daily workings of diplo- Yugoslav president Slobodan our country failed its role.” stature. Nobel Peace Prize nominee speak, macy around the world. He was also Milosevic, the 2001 secession of The student session closed with Past lecturers in the series have Thur., March 22 in MacEwan unafraid to express his opinion of East Timor from Indonesia and Holbrooke throwing his hat behind included former U.S.S.R. presi- Hall. today’s current events, heavily criti- the current war in Afghanistan. former fi rst lady Hillary Clinton in dent Mikhail Gorbachev, linguist Holbrooke has played a crucial cizing the Iraq war. The tough-talking former assis- the upcoming American presidential Noam Chomsky and economist role in the development of U.S. “There’s no question Iraq is tant-secretary of state was forth- elections. John Kenneth Galbraith. 10 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET NEWS Frosh dropout rates, entrance averages on the rise

Andrew Barbero profi ling the university’s full-time Two of the more noteworthy fi nd- reasons is also up nearly 2 per cent, success, but it comes with some Gauntlet News frosh students. The report outlines ings made in the report show that sitting at 5.9 per cent. drawbacks.” fi rst-year students’ background and students entering the U of C with an “Generally speaking, the entrance O’Connor is more concerned hink going to university is level of completion. average of 85 per cent or higher has requirements have been on the with the frosh withdrawal and hard these days? Just try “We’ve done one of these every almost doubled in the past decade, incline,” said Roche. “But I also dropout rate. getting in. year for the last number of years,” from 19.1 per cent in 1996 to 40.3 per think it’s a way that the university “It’s always troubling when T oia 2006. The University of Calgary’s said senior analyst Judy Roche. cent in is working well. There’s a fi ne line students are required to with- Office of Institutional Analysis “It really captures the frosh stu- The number of fi rst-year students between accessibility and drawing draw because it means they aren’t recently released it’s annual report dents.” required to withdraw for academic students.” succeeding academically,” said While some worry qualified O’Connor. “I don’t know what it candidates are being turned away, could be a function of; it’s diffi cult others wonder if the increased aver- to speculate because there have ages speak to the quality of education been increased academic services provided. around campus. U of C 101 has “I think that the entrance aver- been looking at expanding some age going up is a great thing for programming all throughout the the U of C in some ways,” said fi rst-year so that students have a Students’ Union vice-president better chance of succeeding.” academic Shannon O’Connor. O’Connor believes off-campus “There [are] a bunch of students factors play a part. with a 75 per cent [who] used to “It could be a function of higher be able to get into university, and tuition costs and students needing they probably should be able to go to work more, and not spending to university. We want to attract enough time on their studies,” great students and high school O’Connor noted. “It’s easy to averages are the only fair way speculate, but it’s diffi cult to specu- to measure a student’s academic late correctly.” GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 29.07 11 Bald is beautiful

Chris Beauchamp/the Gauntlet Andrea Lam was one of dozens of U of C students who shed their locks to raise more than $40,000 for cancer research Wed., March 28. Lam raised $445 to get this new ‘do. 12 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET Editor: Kate Foote—[email protected] opinions Preserving Canada’s sovereignty

waters by requiring U.S. ships to obtain permission before passing through, the agreement is rendered Cam Cotton-O’Brien impotent by the implied condition Gauntlet Opinions that Canada will never deny one of these requests. In spite of its innate fl accidity, however, the U.S. n a brazen display of force, government is still challenging the Canada will dispatch two- agreement. James Kraska, the oceans Idozen soldiers and a lone policy adviser to the U.S. Joint Chiefs Mountie to fend off any impend- of Staff, recently decried Canada’s ing land grab on the Arctic. While Arctic sovereignty as “excessive” Defence Minister Gordon O’Connor and “tenuous.” thinks this is enough to enforce Another issue confronting Canada’s arctic sovereignty, a tepid Canada’s Arctic sovereignty is the display such as this will only signal preposterous battle with Denmark to the nations vying for rights in the over the 100-meter wide slab of rock area that Canada is like a turtle fi rmly known as Hans Island. Back in 1973, planted on its back. the two countries drew up an agree- The two big attractions for the ment partitioning the Nares Straight, United States, Denmark, Russia which is located between Ellesmere and Norway—the four nations vying has made it possible for the passage to attempting to lay claim to the area. Passage is the United States. After Island and Greenland. Due to inter- for the seemingly frozen wasteland— become a viable trade route linking According to the U.S. Geological two instances of American ships national regulations determining the are access to the Northwest Passage Europe and Asia. It’s 9,000 kilome- Survey, the Arctic is host to an travelling through the area without territorial rights exercised by states and the untapped natural resources tres shorter than the current route estimated 25 per cent of the earth’s permission, Canada and the U.S. over open water, the ownership of of the region. through the Panama Canal. Also, the undiscovered energy reserves. reached an agreement on “Arctic this island could potentially lead The Northwest Passage is of stra- region’s natural resources provide Leading the charge to denounce Cooperation” in 1988. Ostensibly to tremendous exploitation rights. tegic importance as global warming even more incentive for the nations Canada’s claim to the Northwest solidifying Canadian claims to the see arctic, page 15 Poisoning by putrid perfume must have eaten a clove of garlic stink, Joel Kom, Tues., March 27” situation are the passengers and bus official name or not, scent-sensi- for breakfast and the 13-year-old addressed odourous transit riders driver, not the perfume-wearer. tivities are real and any artificial who hasn’t yet discovered deodor- by recounting the story of 26-year Though several spritzes of perfume perfumey smell is only exacer- Emily Senger ant knows transit rides are often an old Natalie Kuhn, a “victim” who may seem to make perfume perpetra- bated by the hot and crowded News Editor olfactory adventure. was refused service not once, but tors smell delicious, for people with quarters of Calgary Transit during The Calgary Herald’s front page twice, on her morning bus ride scent sensitivities, sitting next to a peak hours. news story “Perfume gets rider due to an excessive amount of per- heavily-perfumed passenger can turn This scent sensitivity goes Every transit rider who has the booted to back of bus, Joel Kom, fume. What Kuhn and many other a regular transit ride into torture. beyond transit in a world steeped unfortunate experience of getting Sat., March 24” and the follow-up perfume-wearing perpetrators don’t For scent-sensitive individu- in artifi cial scents. Besides the obvi- sandwiched between the guy who story “Perfume raises second bus realize is that the true victims in this als, strong fragrances can trigger ous perfume, there is also scented asthma attacks, nausea, panic soap, lotion, make-up, shampoo, attacks, loss of muscle control, conditioner, deodorant, hand migraines and general discom- sanitizer, air freshener, hairspray fort. Though it is debated, some and laundry detergent. Consumers doctors have even given this con- are hard-pressed to fi nd unscented dition a name: multiple-chemi- varieties of everyday products. cal sensitivity. Whether given an see putrid, page 15 GAUNTLET OPINIONS MARCH 29.07 13 IIss jjournalismournalism ddead?ead?

Todd Andre marketing and news writing has been the virtues of the paperless future pers and broadcast newscasters evidence to warrant a proclamation Gauntlet Opinions blurred and a media-savvy audience cannot deny the wire-free comfort still competently report accurate of the industry’s demise. Although has become disenfranchised. of a simple broadsheet whilst wait- stories which resonate with the ‘advertorials’ have escalated in recent n April 20, the death of Moreover, universities—the sup- ing for... well anything, anywhere. public. Admittedly, the industry is far years, there is reason to believe that Life magazine will resur- posed training grounds for aspiring In this sense, journalism will stay from healthy—clearly illustrated by a media-saturated audience has the Orect anxieties surrounding journalists—have all but eliminated alive, even if it is on life support. publication closures and educational sophistication and critical thinking print journalism’s future. Once a their journalism curriculums. The Is it though? Overall, newspa- indifference—but there is not enough skills to sniff out the phonies. powerful producer of what Walter Western Social Science Association Lippman called “the pictures inside has organized a panel on the future of our heads,” Life spent over 70 of media at their University of years interpreting the unseen world Calgary conference April 7 —11, to through stunning photographs and discuss journalism’s disappearance analytical articles. What was once from university curriculums and its a pillar of strength holding up the replacement with, “communica- journalistic institution has fallen to tions studies, convergence, public what Time says is, “the decline of the relations, advertising and an assort- newspaper industry.” ment of other specialized courses.” Life’s death adds fuel to the fi re that The panel, entitled “Is Journalism printed media is no longer viable in Dead?” welcomes academics from today’s digital public sphere. Free across Western North America and news sources online —sponsored attempts to provide insight. or blogged—have pushed tradi- These ‘new’ courses do not offer tional newspapers to the margins instruction on writing leads, inter- economically and demographically. viewing or balancing an article Newspapers have either surrendered – the staples of journalism. The art to market forces through mergers and of storytelling has been abandoned fi nancial collapse, or have become for proficient essay writing and so consumed by them that journal- lecture-style presentations, neither ism becomes indistinguishable from of which proves very useful in advertising. Special inserts or supple- building the necessary portfolio that ments are purchased by companies, any would-be writer needs. It is dif- infusing the papers with some badly fi cult to see where journalism fi ts in needed cash. a society that doesn’t fi nd it important It is not that the writers and editors enough to teach in the highest levels themselves are immoral, but slashed of its education system. budgets and limited writing staff But despite rampant market cor- have made fi lling a daily newspaper ruption and ivory tower disinterest exceedingly diffi cult. in the journalist profession, there is Newspaper barons like the recently still hope. People still like paper, and indicted Lord Conrad Black made there is little reason to believe this fortunes by ‘streamlining’ newspa- will change. Urban hipsters reading per budgets and cutting staff. As a the news from a Starbucks-fed lap- result, the ethical boundary between top, or environmentalists preaching 14 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET OPINIONS

highly-skilled graduates destined to staff Nova Scotia’s many bars and pizzerias if they choose to stay. Given the lack of job prospects and Ryan Pike the fact that Nova Scotia is home Couch Potato to the highest university tuition in Canada, you shouldn’t be surprised ear Nova Scotia, that people are leaving for Calgary’s I have been a fan of your hot job market. Dprovince for some time. Instead of lashing out at Calgary Both of my parents were raised in with websites like Delusional Nova Scotia and—as has become Calgaria, you should embrace your a trend lately—moved to Calgary strengths. Infl ation and unemploy- following their graduation from ment in Nova Scotia are below one of your fine universities. I the national average. While many understand that you have become people are leaving, the ones that rather annoyed at this trend, so I have stayed are fl ocking to Halifax thought I’d send you some encour- and Sydney, continuing the urban- agement. ization trend that hit the province Nova Scotia, you’re beautiful. 70 years after the rest of the country. You’ve got lobster-filled oceans Don’t take the Exodus so per- and beaches, and all kinds of other sonally, Nova Scotia. Calgary has wonderful natural phenomena that grown by 13.4 per cent since 2001, other provinces can only wish they more than double the national had. The Bay of Fundy—home to rate—but also boasts an infl ation the world’s biggest tides—is espe- rate (6.1 per cent) three times the cially cool. In addition, you are national average (2 per cent). Life home to four distinct seasons. That’s in Calgary used to be no cup of two more than Calgary gets. tea either, so Canadians moved Nova Scotia, you’ve also got elsewhere. If life in Nova Scotia history. You’ve been settled since proves to be better than anywhere the 1600s and you were one of the else, enjoy it. People will discover four original provinces. You were the joys of Nova Scotia and fl ock the country’s main agricultural there. In the meantime, mellow out. provider for years and most early Trying to cut Calgary down makes development in the East was fueled you look desperate and petty, Nova by your hard work. Scotia, and we both know you’re too Unfortunately, you’ve hit hard classy to resort to that. times. Your job market, while See you next summer! diverse, is more-or-less full. There are few jobs available and your universities keep churning out Ryan Pike GAUNTLET OPINIONS MARCH 29.07 15 Arctic, cont’d from pg. 12 So far, this battle has largely to Canada’s frequently-challenged Further, they have a vested inter- By devolving province-like have trouble arguing that the consisted of the two nations’ mili- claims in the Arctic is to increase est in preserving these areas as powers over the coastal waters and northern coast was any different taries landing on the island and our presence in the region so there they rely heavily on the bounty natural resources of the Nunavut from the East or West where no leaving the fl ag of their respective is no dispute to be made. While of both the land and the sea. area—the territory the Inuit such disputes are forthcoming. country behind. While the claim some may think it isn’t worth The Inuit community already primarily inhabit—Canada can Thus the Inuit provide the most may seem miniscule, a Canadian the associated costs, there is great participates with the military via engage them as partners in the politi- viable opportunity to establish American Strategic Review article potential for an increase in our the Canadian Rangers—a divi- cal process. Since the Inuit would Canada’s Arctic as in March of 2005 suggested this natural energy reserves. Also, if sion of the Canadian Forces. This be actively inhabiting Canada’s Arctic. is only a precursor to larger ter- the Northwest Passage is used as facilitates a cost-effective alterna- and utilizing the area, ritorial claims. Denmark has been an international shipping lane tive to the increase in military pres- as well as occupying spending exorbitant amounts outside of Canada’s jurisdiction, ence presently being contemplated a considerable role in of money on geological surveys any environmental disasters that by the government. All of these the administration and to substantiate their claim. The may occur will affect our people, facts can provide a basis for security of the region, report concludes by suggesting but would be out of our control. Canadian claims to sovereignty. Canada’s sovereignty that Denmark also has the military The solution to this problem lies These claims have no force, though, claims would be vastly capability to challenge Canada’s with the Inuit people. They have while the Inuit people remain out- improved. Indeed, Arctic Sovereignty. lived in what is now Canada’s siders to the political control of the international It seems that the only solution Arctic for thousands of years. the region. community would Putrid, cont’d from pg. 12 This can turn normal public Canada proposes that every- their scent within arm’s length. overpowering brick wall. Perfume sensitive person’s asthma attack or activities like going to a concert, one maintain an acceptable This seems completely accept- purveyors exercise respect when triggering a migraine is as simple the movies or even class into a “scent-circle,” meaning that able; the point of perfume is to riding transit or going to any public as a single spray of perfume, rather nightmare for someone who is perfume wearers should keep provide a tantalizing whiff, not an event. Avoiding setting off a scent- than two or three. sensitive to scents. Some public spaces have real- ized the pervasiveness of scents is bothersome and have declared themselves scent-free in the inter- est of scent-sensitive employees and patrons. The University of Calgary even has its own Scent- Free Awareness Program, which asks individuals to choose scent- free products whenever avail- able for the courtesy of those around them. Given such policies, perfume lovers will quickly claim their free- dom is threatened and call upon the classic slippery slope, arguing that a ban on perfume could mean a ban on other common workplace scents like garlicy food, fl owers or even coffee. Granted, it is impossible (and silly) to ban smells altogether, but if people must wear perfume they should be aware of any potential close quarters, such as a transit ride or a classroom, and put on their perfume after they have exited such situations. Better yet, the Scented Products Education and Information Association of Teach English Overseas

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1-800-779-1779 / 780-428-8700 www.oxfordseminars.com 16 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET three lines free Put off studying for just a little lon- I’m gonna ask lots of questions in class Sure the bunnies are cute. Until you Feels like a hepatitis day today. If I see you crying over Dallas Green ger and write your unsatisfactory just so someone can bitch about me try to walk across the Administration -Danny one more time, I’m going to rip your prof a TLF asking for an extension. in a TLF. lawn. And your shoes get covered in ear off. If you’re in education chances are -Quit complaining about the kids Cadbury Crap Eggs. It’s that time of year again...let the great -A little less emo your prof will love this page. So bring who care -Rabbit stew for me and you pro-choice vs. idiots debate begin. your TLF to MSC 319 or e-mail them I was the talk of all the Delmar stu- to [email protected]. All You: Guy on crutches coming out of SB. Dear WINKLEsticks, meet me under I read that Rick Moranis tried to burn his dents. submissions must include your name, Me: Guy that held the door for you... I the stairs at the den. Thursday. Don’t kids to death with a magnifying glass. ID number, phone number and signa- like your smile! bring WRINKLEsticks. Then he found out it wasn’t 1987 and Happy almost birthday Wendy! You ture. Submissions judged to be sexist, -JOJESSICA and the HipHop KIDZ. that his kids had found the solution. are awesome. racist, homophobic or attacks of a per- Spring has sprung -Your future housemate sonal nature will not be printed. The gophers have riz Who cares about dying babies and but- Happy 19th, TLF nazi! I AM NOT GOING I wonder where terfl ies. I have more important things TO SPIDERMAN3!!! To the group of Asians in social sci- Hi, my name is Skeletor. I like to stab My .22 is to worry about, like fi nals. -same little puny ences disturbing everyone by watching people. -Redneck editor -Pro Shut The Hell Up their foreign game show at full blast on I have been searching through the a laptop. FYI it’s Canada and here we Gauntlet to fi nd a certain article about watch The Price Is Right! corruption in Columbia for several -Angry White Girl weeks. Unfortunately, the Gauntlet has chosen to censor good material R.I.P. mullet, you will be sorely once again. missed. -A concerned reader. [It seems we didn’t get the press Student/Hitman looking for someone to release, try the Gauntlet’s brand guard him while sleeping. The Smurfs spankin’ new news editor Katy Ander- are trying to rub me out. Will supply son. She’s eager. assault rifl e, BYOHG. Damn those little -BagelEd] blue bastards. -Needs sleep to whack Part 1 of 4: Why this “nice guy” fi nishes last. He chooses not to interact with any I like it when two men touch because real girls, but instead bitches about it it makes my Pokemon evolve. to a student population that doesn’t -Lawnmower give a shit. -Justinuendo BSD training regime: Shotgun one beer per day. Increase to two beers when By half-masting the fl ags every other no longer feeling the buzz. day, you greatly diminish the signifi - cance of that symbol. Soldiers die in Drink a cherry slushie. military confl ict. Get over it. -Lez Girl

I’m like an owl, or a bank robber. Let Brian Keating take you to the wild -A hungry winner spaces around the world, Apr. 4, 6:30 p.m., ST 141. The most uplifting, Jade, Sure you don’t want to blow off life-changing lecture you’ll attend all MCATs to come traveling with me? year! Europe is much more exciting than -EcoClub four + more years of school. The offer is still open. Bottled water has an expiry date. Who -travelED checks the expiry date, and for that mat- ter who would notice a difference? Interested in a BA with Honours? Want -thedrewskii to relax with a splendid afternoon? The English Honours Colloquium Apr. 4 in I need some fucking eggs. SS 1339 from 3:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m.! Facetious lawnmower, Get revving with Did a monster come out of the fl oor to some nutritious gas. Pick a gender. touch your beautiful ass? -Playwright -purple denim eater Q: Why does God eat Swiss cheese? Procrastination A: Because it’s Holy. I should really get started Meh, maybe later Dear Kaylee: I am pretty sure our under- -Bbaj grad experience can be summed up like this: mmm...DONUT! LOSE A CALCULATOR?? TI-83 found last week. Email me with what name is To the people who didn’t bother to on it and when/where you might have care about others and chatted in ICT lost it: [email protected] hallway this Tuesday around 2 p.m., GET OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE’S WAY! Hey sport, Enato? enAto? enatO? If you need to Shit-Chat, I’m sure you ENATO! can fi nd a less busy place. GAUNTLET MARCH 29.07 17 entertainment Editor: Kyle Francis—[email protected] A Japanese enclosure of some kind?

AzedaBooth musicinterview

Kevin De Vlaming Gauntlet Entertainment

he elusive sound of Azeda Booth is a difficult bird Tto catch. Described by band members as “an interstellar Japanese blend of post-neo-futu- recore pop,” the songs on their upcoming ep, Mysterious Body, feature an equal blend of electron- ica, melodic guitar and founding member Jordon Hossack’s searingly feminine vocals. The result is an extremely textured, borderline-

ambient sound reminiscent of Chris Tait/the Gauntlet Aphex Twin and Sigur Ros. “Our music’s been pretty well- Hossack’s vocals, the only real con- Sat., March 31, refl ects several years members who joined to form Azeda but is also cautious of jumping too received across fans of different sistency is in their prevalent love for of planning and recording. Long Booth’s present lineup share a simi- fast into brand new material without genres,” says band member Marc Jay-Z. Not surprisingly, this artist before any additional members lar vision and purpose. giving Mysterious Body its due. Rimmer. “I’ve had people from adoration comes out very little in joined, Hossack and Greenwood “I like to inspire people,” says “Especially considering that death metal bands and hardcore their music. were recording samples for the ep Rimmer. “Whenever I see a good these are songs we’ve been famil- bands that were on the same bill as “There’s a lot of crossover in in Greenwood’s basement. piece of design or a good photo, I iar with for two years, we’re excited us who said they totally loved it. But what we listen to,” says Atkinson “[Jordon and Morgan] always can tell it’s good when it scares me to record new material,” says then there’s people who usually like of the band’s infl uences. “It’s just pictured it as a cohesive thing,” into thinking my stuff sucks, so it Atkinson. “But then, as familiar pop music that totally hate it.” not necessarily what we create. We says Reimer. “Those are the encourages me to go out and try as we might be with the songs on As hard to pigeon hole as their all separately create really different songs they wanted, and that’s harder. For me, to inspire other Mysterious Body, there are people music can be, it’s an equally futile material. So when that all comes the order they wanted them in. It musicians is the ultimate goal and who haven’t heard any of the tracks endeavor to attempt to pin roles together and merges it’s this fusion was a piece for them, it was one to have everyone else just enjoy our on this cd. So while we do want to on the members who comprise the of glory and passion.” whole thing.” music enough to want to come to start working on new stuff, we’ll be Calgary-based Azeda Booth. Band Due to the huge buzz following The album’s title, Mysterious another show.” keeping that in the background members Hossack, Chris Reimer, Azeda Booth around the Calgary Body, represents Greenwood and The release of Mysterious Body for now.” Myke Atkinson, Mike Wallace, music scene, there’s already an Hossack’s first exploration into will be followed by a mini-Western- Morgan Greenwood and Rimmer established degree of anticipa- working with other artists to cre- Canadian tour to promote the ep. Azeda Booth will be redefi ning the currency of sound at the Hi-Fi Club Sat., March 31 for their CD swap instruments like spit at a tion built toward their debut ate music. Despite joining a band The band has plans to work on a release party. Tickets are on sale at Megatunes homecoming dance. Aside from release. Mysterious Body, due out with an existing body of work, the full-length album in the near future, and Sloth. Make sure to coat yourself in Vaseline fi rst Great Lake Swimmers doggy-paddle into That Empty Space and Liberty to shore for Ongiara, creating a felt to his surroundings. Steering solid, polyphony record. Owen clear of the typical recording stu- Pallet—famous for his Arcade dio, Dekker kept true to nature Fire string arrangements and by producing the album entirely Final Fantasy solo project—joins at London’s Aeolian Hall. Arnesen and Hubert on the album “It was a really nice acoustical along with Serena Ryder, Sarah space and I wanted to use the Harmer and Bob Egan. With the natural acoustics to record in,” collaboration of these artists, he says. “[Aeolian Hall] is a pretty Ongiara explores Canada’s beau- special building because it has a lot tiful landscape, even if that wasn’t of great history to it.” Dekker’s intention. The use of Aeolian Hall gave “I wasn’t trying to make a con- Ongiara a pure and delightful ceptual album or anything,” Dekker sound, thanks to its construc- says. “We did spend a year and half tion in 1884. The hall was built to two years on the road leading up at a time when amplification to the writing of the record. I think was an important architectural

courtesy Nettwerk that [the environment] has been an feature in attracting musicians. important theme to me all along Dekker is attracted to places of of success. It started out in 2003 “I’m still the one writing the and it has shown itself a little more natural beauty when scouting show GreatLakeSwimmers when Dekker recorded his self- songs and steering the ship,” clearly on this new record. A lot of venues as well. musicinterview titled album in a grain silo with Dekker explains. “But for the the songs have those environmental “I’m really looking forward to an accordion, piano, lap steel and live shows we’ve developed more themes and the relationship with playing in Canmore, Alberta,” says Marina Foo acoustic guitar, taking advantage into a regular live band. The same the landscape. It just kind of came Dekker. “It’s going to be great to do Gauntlet Entertainment of the silo’s natural reverb. Four two folks that we’ve been touring through the writing somehow. It the drive across Canada. I always years later, Dekker is getting ready with, Erik [Arnesen] and Colin wasn’t planned.” look forward to the drive because Treading through aural water, to release his third full-length [Huebert], have played a key role Growing up near the Great Lakes it’s such a beautiful drive.” Tony Dekker is leading what album, Ongiara—but this time on the record.” in Ontario, Dekker wanted to ensure Great Lake Swimmers play both the Liberty originated as his solo project, Great Great Lake Swimmers has a few Great Lake Swimmers have also that he emulated the geographical Lounge and That Empty Space Fri., March 30. The Lake Swimmers, into a whirlpool friends helping out. brought a handful of special guests connection in his music that he Empty Space show is free. 18 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT

spunALBUM REVIEWS

core is a collection of work from Matthew Herbert, a collaborator with Ssuch artists as Yoko Ono and Bjork, cobbled together from his various fi lm scores. As such, there is a strange lack of cohesion to the album. With that said, track selection is a stylistic evolution rather than an attempt to place the album in cohesive whole, although there are still strange shifts in style that come out of nowhere. Herbert’s music runs the genre gamut from big, brassy, swing jazz to creepy electronic baroque choir. The fi rst two fi lm-based tracks are slow, boring, and lack anything close to emotion—they simply pale in comparison to, say, a John Williams oeuvre. But the third track is the hook: An immediately gripping, playful jazz number, both bombastic and mischievous. From there, it’s a roar of jazz, experimental electronica and classical baroque choir. John Williams comparisons are forgotten almost immediately. The centrepiece of the album, both stylistically and numerically, is “Ren- dezvous,” a 10 minute track meant for the Bonacela Dance Company. With haunting vocals and a pounding electronic heartbeat, it’s the perfect track for Matthew Herbert a haunted house or a drug trip. Score If the rocky start can be ignored, the album shows an amazing depth not usually (Accidental Records) found in collections of fi lm scores. Herbert’s production is impressive, and his music is deep and exciting. ..Jordyn Marcellus

Never judge a book by its cover—or so goes Green has nothing to offer fans that they can’t the old cliché. Despite an ingrained aversion fi nd on myspace. to them, clichés are sometimes incredibly Although the soothing sound of his voice, apt. Sadly, though, City and Colour’s latest lyrical ballads and harmonizing acoustics release, Live, is an exception—its plain, are pleasant while sitting alone in the base- brown, cardboard cover speaks volumes as ment, Green doesn’t propose anything new to its content. or exciting for his audience. Yes, there are Dallas Green wanted to paint a picture for four previously-unreleased tracks for kids the hapless souls that have been unable to with dyed hair to slobber over, but they’re witness a City and Colour performance just a pacifi er to hold them over until the with a live cd and dvd set. The package next studio release. features four unreleased tracks, nine from ..Marina Foo City and Colour his previous release, Sometimes, and a dvd Live performance. Unfortunately, Live’s volume (Dine Alone) indicates nothing of it’s quality. Put plainly,

It feels strangely compelling yet obviously This means, however, the expectation from taboo to crack a Mr. T joke about House of House of Fools is going to be elevated for their Fools. A clichéd A-Team reference just seems next album. People will be less forgiving the juvenile and forced in such a glaring circum- second time around if the second half of the stance. Regardless, after one listen to Live & record dips in energy nearly as much as Live Learn, no one will pity any of the fools living & Learn, and probably won’t stand for the few in this metaphorical house. moments when the vocal melodies border on Not a soul will pity the mix of summery pop nursery rhymes. with progressive rock, nor will they pity the There are the primary missteps to avoid for the slick production value glossing over every next effort, but as it stands, Live & Learn is a song. There will be no pitying Josh King’s commendable journey through a vast array of smooth vocals and subtle, poetic lyrics. No, musical styles and contexts. There is no reason House of Fools House of Fools does not want your pity, and to pity House of Fools just yet. Until there is, Live & Learn frankly they just don’t need it. Live & Learn is Mr. T can just wait with Gary Coleman and (Drive-Thru Records) a very respectable fi rst effort from a relatively crack jokes about other wash-ups. unheard-of band, and shows a lot of potential ..Darren Young for a future of similarly blissful pop gems.

Energetic folk-pop is hard to fi nd, as most acoustic guitar and a little piano. On the of it tends to be of the Conor Oberst cater- other hand, Bryson proves he has a sharp wauling variety. Thankfully, Jim Bryson’s mind to create brilliant pop songs, like “The adorably-titled album Where the Bungalows Wishes Pile Up.” Roam is the perfect mix of acoustic folk and This kind of divide in the album can be low-key indie pop for the scenester set, forgiven though, because each song is gor- Think hard. Year round? without all the ugly histrionics that tend to geous. There’s not a drop of fi ller. Every song Continue your studies this Spring and Summer at U of C. irritate the senses. can be listened to on repeat for hours. Few Bryson’s voice is pitch perfect, with mellow albums can actually claim such a feat, and and relaxed melodies reminiscent of Sufjan Jim Bryson pulls it off with ease. Stevens. There are two distinct types of ..Jordyn Marcellus songs on the album, though, and it doesn’t UCALGARY.CA Jim Bryson feel as cohesive as other albums of either Where the Bungalows Roam genre. Some, like “Flower” and “Death by (Kelp Records) Vibration,” are pure folk, with barebones GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 29.07 19 A ggatheringathering ooff GGuthriesuthries

courtesy Cash Edwards ArloGuthrie vast array of music the Guthrie where the movie Alice’s Restaurant family has offered the world. was shot, and soon after converted musicinterview “I wanted to include the others’ it to the Guthrie Center. The songs,” says Guthrie. “To see it Guthrie Center is a place where Darren Young move through the generations people of all religions may meet Gauntlet Entertainment gives you a good feeling of how and unite under the principle that things are. Seeing it in one sitting there is one truth and many ways rlo Guthrie is defi nitely a gives you some insight of what it to access it. family man. He lives by means to be in this family.” “I bought the church about 15 Atraditional values handed Guthrie has been holding a mag- years ago,” says Guthrie. “We down to him by his father, Woody nifying glass up to his family for have two things we do there: an Guthrie, the man behind the folk the past year now, and is ready to interface church foundation and classic “This Land is Our Land.” put the Legacy tour behind him. He an educational foundation. We run Over the past year, Arlo has been hasn’t grown weary of touring with programs that are some of both or on the road with members of his his family, but rather, is excited to one or the other of those broad cat- family on the Guthrie Family Legacy hit the road again on his own. Even egories, and have free community Tour carrying on his father’s legend so, there have already been talks lunches every week.” through song. of another tour involving Guthrie Guthrie admits his not-for-profi t “He blazed a trail for sure,” says family members some time down work actually ends up becoming Guthrie. “I think we sort of try to the road. not-even-breaking-even work, but continue from where he left off, “We’re trying to round the whole he loves giving to the community. but we are also not retreading old family up together for another big- The Guthrie Center is a signifi cant ground.” ger tour in the future,” says Guthrie. representation of the musician’s Guthrie wants to make people “What new invention of a tour generosity and compassion for aware he is not just slipping his name can we come up with to get others. Guthrie is not just a family feet into his father’s boots. Being us to do a show together?” man, he is a people person, and part of the Guthrie Legacy Tour Despite his heavy schedule and will carry on his family’s legacy so means there are also songs by the involvement in all of these tours, long as he has the strength to carry rest of the family and Arlo himself Guthrie still finds time to work the torch. peppering the set list. By including with not-for-profi t organizations. Arlo Guthrie plays Tues., Apr. 3 at the Jack Singer songs from his kin, Arlo covers a In 1991, he purchased the church concert hall. Not worth looking out for TheLookout built on these strengths by making and a supportive friend and room- the other characters more three- mate (Jeff Daniels), but not much filmreview dimensional and the second half else. Thus, he’s easy prey for Gary more believable, it could have been (Matthew Goode), a local ne’er-do- Kenzie Love much better. well who’s plotting with some fellow Gauntlet Entertainment Gordon-Levitt is Chris Pratt, a star crooks to rob the bank where Chris high school football player whose works. Chris is hesitant about the The Lookout is a bit like the dreams are shattered in a horrifi c plot initially, but he agrees to play proverbial glass of water: it can be car crash that opens the fi lm. Picking the film’s titular role after Gary seen as either half full or half empty. up several years later, Chris retains persuades him that he’ll be hand- Without a strong turn from Joseph few outward marks of disability, somely rewarded for it and no one Gordon-Levitt in the starring role but he’s been left with permanent will get hurt. Pratt’s ultimate deci- and a compelling fi rst half, it could brain damage. Unsurprisingly, his sion to go along with it feels pretty have been a lot worse. Unfortunately, prospects for the future are limited. natural, considering. had writer/director Scott Frank He’s got a menial job at a local bank see the lookout, pg 21 20 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT A gift to surf cinema

courtesy CPAFF courtesy CPAFF One of the people in this press photo was not involved in the creation of this fi lm. Okay, it was this guy, our own intrepid boy reporter Robin Ianson

TheGiftofBarong learning about his family’s culture his roots. He wanted to take a video Things like sitting down in the living more than the entertainment many growing up. Moreno was born in camera and record his experiences, room of a family we had only met fi lms give; it gives you enrichment filminterview the Philippines, but immigrated to but Bautista saw a larger calling for just that day where they had invited of your soul and your life.” America with his family at the age Moreno’s story to be told. Like us over for dinner. They sang songs, The message in The Gift of Robin Ianson of fi ve and hadn’t been back since. Moreno, Bautista was also a Filipino we joined them in songs and it’s like Barong is not just a message for Gauntlet Poser As a child, he turned his back on American and he knew Moreno’s we had been friends for 20 or 30 immigrants to North America. his Filipino heritage, but all that story was not unique. years. I found that incredible. That The themes are much broader urfi ng fi lms aren’t normally changed when Moreno was invited “When this was presented to me happened every place we went. That and have touched a much greater life-changing. They are by his parents to attend a Filipino as an idea, I couldn’t let go of it,” community and sense of relation- audience than the fi lmmakers ever Smostly uninspired affairs of fiesta. He borrowed his father’s says Bautista. “This is so important, ships is probably missing from a lot expected. sun, surf and girls in bikinis that barong (a traditional Filipino so urgent and so timely. Not only to of other cultures.” “We had a chance in November try to attach themselves to the shirt) for the event and the title for our community, but I could feel it The film has turned out to be to bring this fi lm to Manila at the hip surfer lifestyle in a desperate the fi lm—innocuous though it might has the capacity to impact a com- a great success, resounding with Cinemanila International Film grab for status. However The Gift be—was born. munity of immigrants. We are all audiences everywhere the crew Festival which was the fi rst time it of Barong: A Surfi ng and Cultural “I put it on and I looked in the immigrants. This is a story people have taken it. Having completely was viewed by a pure Filipino audi- Odyssey dares to be something more, mirror,” explains Moreno. “Usually can relate to. It involves not just sold out both of its screenings in ence,” says Formento. “I thought tackling some serious cultural issues you just take a casual glance and Filipino-Americans, but also this San Diego and winning the best maybe they would just blow it up while showcasing the beautiful waves go that will do, but I stared in that whole issue of immigration and cinematography award at the New and say, ‘No I can’t relate. I don’t of the Philippines. Director Benito mirror for a good length of time. I reconnection.” York Film and Video Festival last know what that means,’ but their Bautista, fi lm star Dan Moreno and looked at my face and said, ‘Gosh For Moreno, the visit to the year, Calgary is the fi rst Canadian reaction was very different. Their co-producer Jocelyn Formento all darn I’m Filipino, but when I put this Philippines was a life-changing screening for the fi lm. reaction was, ‘I now have a com- fl ew from sunny San Francisco to shirt on I know nothing about who experience. Having never bothered “Everywhere we go, people will pletely different appreciation of what brave the harsh Canadian spring to I am as a Filipino.’ I had distanced to learn about Filipino culture, he be crying when we are doing the it is I have and I feel more pride in promote their fi lm. myself from the culture and my heri- could not speak a word of the Q and A because that’s exactly being Filipino.’ I didn’t realize these Brought to Calgary as part tage for so long that I had no idea. native Filipino language Tagalog what they’ve experienced, but they were things I take for granted and of the Pan Asian Film Festival, I’m Filipino and know nothing. It and he had no idea what to expect couldn’t fi nd a time in their lives I didn’t even realize that people Barong follows the journey of two started with that.” on his journey. to resolve that internal confl ict,” after they leave [the Philippines] Filipino-American surfers as they Moreno spoke with his friend “It was a tremendous experience explains Bautista. “They resented want for that.” go to the Philippines for the fi rst Bautista, a fellow surfer and inde- for me,” says Moreno. It was a total their heritage, they turned away, they time, a country they know nothing pendent fi lmmaker, about his rev- saturation in the culture. We were laughed at it and now they see Dan The Gift of Barong screened as part of the Calgary Pan Asian Fim Festival. Check out about. Jon Villar was born and raised elation and his plan to fi nally visit involved in situations and circum- and how he transformed and how www.wanderlustproject.com for more information. in America and had no interest in the Philippines to reconnect with stances that we weren’t anticipating. it can be done. It gives you much Theatrical release is pending. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 29.07 21 The Lookout, cont’d from page 19 FREE STUFF To win free prizes for As expected, things don’t go Frank tries to give the fi lm an edge his knowledge that he’ll never be the according to plan. Multiple people with the crooks, but the attempt same—are clear but not overdone. In the Land of Women are indeed hurt during the rob- fl ops. Goode is competent as Gary, In a Hollywood fi lm scene saturated starring Adam Brody bery, leaving Chris with a terrible but he’s not given enough to work by sympathetic, disabled charac- that include hats, shirts, dilemma. Frank probably faced with. Then again, at least Gary is ters, Gordon-Levitt’s performance shorts and nailpolish, a similar situation while direct- more rounded than his henchman ranks alongside the best. That’s not just come up to the ing. He had all the ingredients in “Bone” (Greg Dunham), a virtual enough, however, to make up for place for a good tragedy, but suc- mute. Faintly menacing at first, The Lookout’s flaws. On balance, Gauntlet offi ces and cumbed to Hollywood pressure to his silence just seems stupid by it’s worth taking a swig from, but grab some. Seriously... deliver a feel-good fl ick, with infe- the fi lm’s end. it’s not going to quench anyone’s we’ve got a lot. rior results. Chris is a sympathetic Despite his fl at co-stars and some thirst for a great fi lm. character, but heartening though cheesy dialogue, Gordon-Levitt is In the Land of Women is in theatres The Lookout is available for, uh, watching in theatres Fri., May 18. his triumph may be, it’s not at all always convincing. Chris’s inner Fri., March 30. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is dreamy all realistic. scars—both the brain damage and the time. 22 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT Shrewd fi lmmaking Documentary discusses dwindling world oil resources

CrudeAwakening peak, as the difficulty of extracting oil from the tar sands shows our filmreview increasing desperation for sweet Texas tea. Jordyn Marcellus The message is based in pure Gauntlet Entertainment logistics: oil requires millions of years to develop, yet with our il is the most important consumption habits, it’s very likely resource in the world affordable oil run out within our Otoday, with all of our lifetime. It also shows that no one conveniences propped up by rich, is prepared for this consequence; dark crude. Oil is in the insecticide if governments and businesses used to kill cockroaches, and food assume continued supply of cheap has petroleum-based fertilizers to crude, we’ll eventually force a mas- help it grow. A Crude Awakening: sive downturn in our own standard the Oil Crash shows simply and of living. grippingly that the convenience The narrative is constructed of modern North American life through cutting in a variety of is tied inexorably to the supply sources. Old educational films of oil. And that supply is already and stark reality often contrast drying up. to illustrate the optimism of the The film’s material is presented industry versus the current cold in a simple, matter-of-fact way reality. It’s absurd to believe the that is at once chilling and riv- syrupy educational films of the eting. With compelling visuals ’50s—showing all the glory and and simple dialogue, A Crude optimism of the oil industry and Awakening presents its weighty free enterprise—when pitted subject—one full of scientific against the relentless rotation jargon and complicated geologi- of the pumpjack and the grey cal concepts—in a way even a wastelands of oil boomtowns courtesy Mongrel Media roughneck can understand. A gone bust. This man doesn’t quite grasp the purpose of bathing. central theme throughout is the oil The interviews are diverse, but peak, and how supply can only go the message is unified, whether how the lack of preparedness to of Baku, Azerbaijan, to the aban- by everyone who has ever com- down while consumption can only from a Texas rancher-cum-oil- deal with such a world-changing doned oilfi elds of McCarmey Texas plained about rising gas prices. As go up—a paradox that will end in man, George W. Bush’s energy event will be catastrophic. where the oil just ran dry. Each loca- more countries move into the First an incredible financial crash and advisor, or an oil geologist who The locations too are disparate, tion is a by-product of the coming oil World, and the demand for the oil massive recession. consults for behemoths like Shell from the opulent palaces of Saudi peak and unintentionally prescient that is so important to their liveli- The film suggests that Alberta’s and Exxon-Mobil. They all warn Arabia to the dirty streets below, the of Alberta’s future landscape. hood increases, the problem can famed tar sands are proof of this of the looming energy crisis, and oilrig-covered industrial wasteland A Crude Awakening is an only get worse. important fi lm with an important message—one that should be heard A Crude Awakening is playing at The Uptown. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 29.07 23 Radiant City lights up Calgary theatres

RadiantCity The film performed extremely Despite identifying a clear tar- well on the festival circuit, garner- get which they efficiently snipe filminterview ing extensive critical praise as well at throughout the film, Brown as earning the Special Jury Prize and Burns harbor no illusions Kevin De Vlaming from the Vancouver International about the reality of new subur- Gauntlet Entertainment Film Festival. While Burns had ban developments continuing established a familiarity with cin- unabated despite ongoing efforts adiant City will soon ematic success thanks to such pre- to bring their faults to light. One be bringing the surreal, vious films as The Suburbanators individual in the movie specifically Rartificial sensibilities of and waydowntown, the experience addresses this, suggesting that the suburbia into theatres across was entirely new to Brown. momentum behind the suburban- the country. The film, billed as a “I had no idea what to expect ization movement is too great and documentary on suburban sprawl, from the festivals,” says Brown. has been building over too much unites the journalistic background “When we got to Toronto, which time to attempt to halt it. of co-filmmaker Jim Brown with was our first festival, I was totally “They’ve been criticizing the the cinematic experience of his blown away by how much atten- suburbs since rich New Yorkers filmmaking counterpart Gary tion the film was getting. Similarly, first started moving to New Burns. Alliance Atlantis has I’m really looking forward to what Jersey,” says Brown. “The reason secured distribution rights across the reaction will be when it goes we put commentary on the inef- North America, and Radiant City theatrical, because I don’t know fectiveness of such critiques in the will be opening in theatres Fri., what to expect.” film was to show that we weren’t March 30. Audiences can expect to see a thinking that we were going to “We set out from the begin- light-hearted exploration into the change the world with this film. ning to do a theatrical film,” says ridiculously structured nature of Our hope is that people will watch Brown. “Gary and I wanted to new suburban developments. The the film and they’ll be entertained, make something that treated the filmmakers took an approach to and they’ll talk about what they role of where we live our lives, and the documentary which is both saw. That’s basically all you we wanted to make it as entertain- heavily formulaic and likely to can hope for.” ing as possible.” leave audiences re-examining their Brown also affirms that Radiant experience of the film immediately City is for everybody, from inner- after its concluding remarks. city urbanites to those who have “We tried to give the audience bought into the suburban craze in stuff to think about on a few dif- the new developments at the edge courtesy Odeon Films WIN PASSES ferent levels,” says Brown. “The of the city. However, those who are These kids are really smart. No, really. Watch the movie and suburbs are marketed in a way that more familiar with suburbs built you’ll see. Especially the boy. Fear the boy. doesn’t match the reality of sub- before the mid-’90s would be espe- urbia, so we try to mirror that by cially likely to leave the theatre with quiet during the day because And so they have this weird kind playing on the reality in our film. a sense of disconcertment. there’s nobody around on the of ‘this-is-how-the-future-looks’ The film raises questions about “I grew up in the suburbs, and streets, no trees, and therefore feel to them.” where you draw the line between I thought I knew what the new no birds. With most of them, Radiant City opens at the Uptown and the what’s real and what isn’t real. suburbs were like,” says Brown. you just see double garage doors, Famous Players in Westhills Fri., March 30. Fear Does truth have to be real?” “But I had no idea. They’re super because that’s all that’s facing you. the boy.

To win passes for Fox Seachlight’s Namesake, a harrowing snapshot of the Indian immigrant experience starring Kal Penn, come up to the Gauntlet and lie to us about your last name.

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TheHostthe film’s release follows up such explicit through their relationships Since Godzilla, monster movies masterpieces as 2003’s Memories of and the action. with a political subtext haven’t filmreview Murder and is another indication of Lighting elements fl ick the mood really been an original idea. What Korea’s current fi lm renaissance. The between sunny saturation and a sets The Host apart, however, is Amanda Hu movie gets off to a dark start, laying dark, foreboding atmosphere with its skilful use of humour. Though Sports Assistant out a perfect situation of government disheveled and displaced persons much of the fi lm concentrates on the blunder and the dire consequences acting as set pieces. Fog machines family’s quest to fi nd their young- he Host is an energetic and that result. Propaganda and the and facemasks are used to a similar est, comedic interludes intersperse captivating, sea beast-fi lled exploitation of common people end, meshing a sense of sterility with and showcase the characters’ Tfrolic through the often- remain trends throughout. Each complete fi lth. The clever dichotomy awkward interactions, lightening kitschy genre of Korean science of the central character’s quirks in both staging elements leaves the the mood and alleviating what fi ction. With innovative moments is emphasized early and although viewer slightly unsettled and likely might otherwise be a completely that hint at an emerging sense of they’re somewhat kitschy at times, not knowing why. heart-wrenching and emotionally greatness from the small country’s they still effectively portray them as Writer/director Joon-ho Bong exhausting affair. National Cinema, The Host may just individuals, not just monster food. does a fantastic job of getting the The Host is an innovative fi lm well be one of the best monster fi lms The film immediately endears characters to convey dire frustration and an unexpected favourite in recent history. audiences to the ensemble, painting throughout the fi lm. A commentary for action and non-action fans Showcasing a surprisingly fl uid a picture of a grandfather who’s chil- on governmental control and cen- alike, unconventionally twisting mix of suspense, humour and dren never really grew up, a drunken sorship, the family constantly voices monster movie tropes and mak- visual effects, The Host tells the hot-headed idealist, a sensitive and concerns that fall on patronizing, ing the audience actually care story of an atypical family’s search talented sister, an ill-equipped single deaf ears and as a result, take matters about the characters, rather than for their daughter while running father who blames himself for the loss into their own hands. Along with this treating them as mutated-lizard from government officials and a of his daughter and a surprisingly is the portrayal of the state’s igno- fodder. Its cinematic elements gargantuan sea monster. Although resourceful little girl. Each member rance about its own operations, as convey not just a battle between the premise seems hokey at first, of the family personifi es a different, the government offi cials come off as man and monster but family and The Host is still a riveting, bloody cg necessary aspect of one complete mindless automatons controlled by freedom. monster fest. persona, and their inability to func- the all-powerful and all-inconsider- Originally billed as Gwoemul, tion without one another is made ate United States. The Host is in theatres Fri., March 30. GAUNTLET MARCH 29.07 25 escapes & pursuits Editor: Ryan Pike—[email protected] THEATRE The Details, Ryan McMahon and Great Lake Swimmers and the THINGS TO DO Ronley Teper kick out the tunes at Cape May unleash gale-force rock 1. Great Lake Swimmers play two shows in Hear the Vagina Monologues in Max Broken City Thur., March 29 at upon the Liberty Lounge Fri., March town this week. One of them is in That Empty Bell Theatre March 29–31. Tickets 8 p.m. Tickets available at 30 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $12.50 at Space on Friday. It’s the free one. are $50 at Ticketmaster. Megatunes, Melodiya and Sloth. Ticketmaster. 2. Dinos sports may be over, but the playoffs

Let One Yellow Rabbit Bless you A-Skillz shows off at the Hi-Fi Club Matthew Dekay and Rachel Rackitt are about to begin in the NHL and WHL. Find in Big Secret Theatre March 29–31. Thur., March 29. stroll through the Warehouse a way to cheer the Flames and Hitmen on, or Tickets are $16 to $30 at Fri., March 30 at 9 p.m. Tickets are else it’ll be your fault if they lose. Ticketmaster. Against Me!, Riverboat Gamblers $15 at Ticketmaster. 3. Two Oscar-nominated fi lms are screening and Fake Problems bust apart the on campus for free this week. The Good ATP’s Tempting Providence runs Warehouse Thur., March 29 at 7 p.m. Hello Operator dials up a free show German was nominated for original score in Martha Cohen Theatre March 29 Tickets are $19.50 at Ticketmaster. inside Broken City Mon., April 2 and is Cinemania’s Monday offering. Iraq in to April 1. Tickets are $15 to $75 at at 8 p.m. Fragments was nominated for feature-length Ticketmaster. The U of C Vocal Jazz Ensemble documentary and screens on Wednesday. performs inside the Rozsa Centre Priestess, Whitey Houston and 4. Monday Night Shakespeare ends its run Check out DSI: Drunk Scene Thur., March 29 at 8 p.m. Students Lions in the Streets pounce into the Investigation in Studio Theatre $7, adults $10 at the door. Hi-Fi Club Mon., April 2. with a discussion of Love’s Labours Lost. It’s Thur., March 29 at 10:30 p.m. Monday, it’s Shakespeare and it’s free. Admission is $2 at the door. Great Lake Swimmers and Brock David Usher invades the Whiskey Zeman and the Dirty Hands play Tues., April 3 at 8 p.m. Tickets are Enjoy The Good German in Science The annual Taking Flight festival of in That Empty Space Fri., March 30 $20 at Ticketmaster. MISC. Theatres 148 Mon., April 2 at student plays continues March 29 from 3:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Free. Mosey on down to a symposium on 6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Free with to April 4. Festival passes are $15 at SPORTS Calgary’s Housing Crisis in the Rozsa student ID. Campus Ticket Centre, while single Eva Avila and guests tune up The Flames bury the Colorado Centre Thur., March 29 at 2 p.m. Free. ticket price varies from free to $5 MacEwan Hall Fri., March 30 at Avalanche in the Saddledome Dr. James Black discusses Love’s at the door. 7 p.m. Tickets are $30 at Tues., April 3 at 7 p.m. Tickets are Award-winning poet Shane Rhodes Labours Lost in Boris Roubakine Ticketmaster. $25 to $195 at Ticketmaster. reads from his book The Bindery in Recital Hall in Craigie Hall C Dance @ Noon combines Social Sciences 1115 Thur., March 29 Mon., April 2 at 7:30 p.m. Free. performance and tutorials from The Acorn, Meatdraw, the The Hitmen continue their playoff at 3 p.m. Free. student dancers at the University Lonesome Valley Singers and Amy series against the Kootenay Ice Dr. Wolfgang Tittel talks about Theatre Wed., April 4 at noon. Honey march through Broken City in the ‘Dome Thur., March 29 and Lisa Nevett discusses the ancient Quantum Cryptography in Bio Students $3, adults $5 at Campus Fri., March 30 at 8 p.m. Tickets Mon., April 2 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $9 Greeks in Murray Fraser Hall 160 Sciences 587 Tues., April 3 at noon. Ticket Centre. available at Megatunes, Melodiya to $36 at Ticketmaster. Fri., March 30 at 7:30 p.m. Students Free. and Sloth. $2, adults $4 at the door. CONCERTS The Roughnecks chop down the The Oscar-nominated Iraq in Marianas Trench and Faber Drive Azeda Booth has a CD release Portland Lumberjax inside the Dinos Tennis hosts the Sports Star Fragments screens in Science cause a riptide in MacEwan Hall party at the Hi-Fi Club Fri., March 30 Saddledome Sat., March 31 at Cabaret in the Den Sat., March 31 Theatres 143 Wed., April 4 at 7 p.m. Thur., March 29 at 7 p.m. Tickets are featuring tunes from the Faunts, Kris 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $18.68 to at 8 p.m. Tickets are $5 in advance A discussion of the fi lm will follow, $15 at Ticketmaster. Elestad and A Relative Distance. $47.70 at Ticketmaster. or $7 at the door. led by Dr. Tareq Ismael. Free. 26 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET even more tlfs! Anyone wondering where the new My life is full of emptiness without you. I have wet socks and a bad ass atti- To the guy who stole my jacket that Hooker Ave. is? I hear Forest Lawn, I I miss you RJ. tude. one time... Sinner! I will steal 10 of hear 10 St. Prove me wrong! -Hen Boffman your jackets. If anyone has found a black binder EcoClub needs a webmaster and a with courses ENCH 405/401 and LOST my camera! Black Samsung, had The haiku is thousands of years old. graphic designer for the 2007–2008 ENPE 423/525/533 in EDIC or room sentimental value. Plus pictures of me Doing things the same way for a long year. If you care about the environ- ENE 243 or 241 or ICT 121, send me an and Kelly Hrudey after I shaved my head time, that’s called communism folks! ment and have these skills, apply e-mail at [email protected]. for cancer. If you have any info email now at [email protected]! -Andrew me at [email protected] What? Oh god no! [Maybe you should look some more. -Chris Tait, pre-skullet Congratulations baldies on surpass- It’s always the last place you look, like I eat baby seals during Easter because ing the $40,000 goal. Don’t forget your house. the time I ate bunnies didn’t go so I’m going to save all my scissors for your toque. -BagelEd] well. Dallas Green’s skin. Die. -Santa What’s the difference between a pizza I wish I was the TLF editor so I could Indeterminism is just another brand and a jew? [edited for taste. One is deli- pick up guys. Free double mattress set. Better than of cheap beer. cious and not human.] -Nobody loves news the fl oor. Near university. Call 601-1180 to pick up. A celebration of student fi lm! Come To the munty info commons PM What colour are your nostrils? join SIC on Apr. 3 at 3:30 p.m. in That regulars... I am sad to say I am one Please don’t stab us Skeletor. Empty Space as we enjoy the best of of you. But at least I shower and don’t It’s Coolio! Does Coolio have AIDS?! -Worried Electrical Engineering what our peers have made! Lots of fun sleep on the bookshelves. I saw that Students and free food and drinks as well! fort you built. Head teller, Eat some pineapples. Introducing the Gauntlet’s editor-in- -a space camp enthusiast Love. Cul-de-sacs are the new mullets. chief-elect, Bobo the Pervy Cul-de- No self-forming action is the product -Receiver Sac Clown! of an indeterminate will. ...always bring a condom. To the super sexy guy in SOCI 399 who -Beauchamp The Campus Crusade for Cthulhu is now sits with the red hat guy and the tall guy Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Fran- FOR SALE: 2 dark green pleather love- 80 members strong, bwahahahaha! who always shows up late. Let’s play Thanks Pamela Banting! You give the cis-Hoffman! The dark lord Cthulhu seats. good cond. Fitted tan slipcovers Join now at ucalgary.facebook.com/ army so I can blow you up! best Can lit infomercials! welcomes you! incl. $125 obo. Call 319-0910. group.php?gid=2230395995 -blonde girl in back row -grateful consumer... er student -Captain Adequate

I’m wondering why it’s appropriate for pro-lifers to have pics of bloody fetuses on campus, but it’s inappropriate for me to get naked at the Den! -Carson [Finally, a cause for the student body to rally around. Carson, I support your choice to bare all. -BagelEd]

Hey ski club, pissing off a group with the power to print 10,000 copies is a poor strategic move.

Batmandemonium! Like Beatlemania, but on a signifi cantly smaller scale.

Hey Pro-Lifers, Is it wrong that I wish your parents had more of a CHOICE when they were younger? -Not sure you know what the holocaust was all about

BEER MONEY! Earn cash for surveys! Sign up at www.estyle.biz.

Hey Delmar girls, stop shaving my man.

To my heartthrob lawnmower, forget the trees, touch me instead! -grassy lawn

Chris Tait cut his hair It now looks very sketchy Like a pedophile -haiku’d

There’s always something down the rabbit hole. [Like fi nals? -BagelEd]

Rachel, I love you!

Rub him once, watch your back. Rub him twice, call the police.

Found: Dane-elec usb key; if you have lost one, email [email protected]

How do we all know that we’re not living in a virtual reality? Would you recognize a sign? -Baffl ed COMS major

and if you have the ability to love/love yourself fi rst/but always be aware of the possibility of/total defeat/whether the reason for that defeat/seems right or wrong—an early taste of death is not necessarily/a bad thing -emo Bukowski fan

The admin has the gall to waste money on things like “Take Your Place,” and then cries to the province about lack of funding? Typical. -Shafted by the Admin

Guys from St. Patty’s Day, We have to punch you ‘til you fall asleep. -The Jeffs GAUNTLET FEATURES MARCH 29.07 27 The UofC More than just ugly statues and under-achievers An historical examination by Jon Roe Gauntlet Chris Tait/the

hen the University of Calgary measured by different terms, one academic From nothing, this huge university grew. It’s recommendation was built in 1960, there were two career. Dr. Maurice Yacowar’s time at the phenomenal. It takes generations to build a of that commis- Wbuildings on a massive dust fi eld U of C bookended the establishment of the university with traditions and with excellence. sion was not to at the outer reaches of northwest Calgary. In university as a degree granting institution. He But this was done within one career.” grant a degree 1966, the U of C’s fi rst year of autonomy from started as an English student in 1959–1963 and granting status to the University of Alberta, there were 4,000 returned as the dean of fi ne arts in 1995. Before autonomy Calgary College students and 300 faculty members. The “It was just so exciting to come to the for- Yacowar’s acorn of an autonomous university but to create a population of Calgary was 323,289. Now in est where I’ve seen them plant the acorn,” in Calgary was planted well before he was even provincial insti- a city with over a million people, the U of C says Yacowar, who retired from the English born. The roots of the U of C lie in the Calgary tute of technol- has 22,794 undergraduate students with the department last year. “That was basically what Normal School and Calgary College, both built ogy that would, same number of frosh each year as the total it was. My fi rst year here we were still at the in the early 1900s. along with the students in 1966, and nearly 3,000 faculty. [current sait campus]. My second year we had “It’s almost as old as the University of Calgary Normal Gauntlet fi le photo The two-building ghost town situated on a two buildings plus McMahon stadium. Now Alberta, which was created in the early 1900s,” School created 10 dirty plain has morphed into a 218-hectare there are what? Seventy, 75, 100? Who knows? says Dr. Anthony Rasporich, author of Make years before, serve Yacowar campus with well over 50 buildings. I think even now, after I’ve left the university, No Small Plans, a book on U of C history. Calgary’s post- In the 40 years since the U of C gained if I happen to go on campus for one thing or “[Calgary College] was created in 1912 and secondary needs for the coming years.” autonomy from the U of A, the campus’ another, I still giggle at the difference.” lasted for about three years before it had to Calgary College folded in 1915, and the evolution has been more than physical. “When you think of it, here’s a university fold. It tried to achieve full university degree- Calgary Normal School carried the frozen From under the yoke of the U of A, the that’s grown this big and this good in the granting status through the Alberta legislature, acorn to where sait now sits. Calgary Normal U of C has become one of the top 10 universi- space of one academic career,” continues but a commission was appointed with four School was renamed the University of Alberta, ties in Canada in under half a century or, if Yacowar. “I started here, and I fi nished here. university presidents on it. The unanimous See history, page 28 28 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET FEATURES HHistory,istory, cont’dcont’d fromfrom pagepage 2727

Gauntlet fi le photo Courtesy University of Calgary Archives The Black Panthers visit the university in 1969. The U of C circa 1966

Calgary Branch in 1945. In 1960, the tion gaining autonomy, he thinks “One of my memories of that fi rst Gauntlet. His only year as editor of campus, but after meeting up with fi rst two buildings were built on the Taylor’s predecessor, Andrew year [at the campus’ current location] the paper was tumultuous. He him after both had left Calgary, dusty grounds of the current campus Doucette, is a forgotten fi gure in is that when you went from one build- printed an emotional rant in an found out he was wrong. site and the uac moved. Malcolm U of C history. ing to the next, you’d have to go to the editorial against the institution of “I liked Taylor, but what surprised Taylor was the principal of the uac “He was a former school prin- John to wash yourself because you’d Remembrance Day, then called me in my later life was that I found from 1960 to 1963, and was a key cipal, so he was more of that level have picked up a level of grime from Poppy Day, saying it glorifi ed war. out he liked me,” says Yacowar. “We fi gure in supplying the autonomous of experience of administration,” the blowing dust,” he says. “There was The editorial drew the ire of the had this curious phenomena. Every water to the acorn. says Yacowar. “He was a remark- no topsoil, just blowing dust. Then city. Yacowar was living at home scandal I got the university into when “His political smarts would ably energetic man I was editor happened when he was have given the place more cred- with vision. I was a There was no topsoil, just blowing dust. Then out of town. He began to worry every ibility in the university commu- little sorry he didn’t time he’d go out of town. He’d be nity than someone with a strictly get to carry the ball they brought in a load of fertilizer to hold the wondering what scandal I’d be into school background would have a bit longer, even if by the time he came back. When I been able to do,” notes Yacowar. at the time, I could dust down. So the campus smelled like shit.” dealt with him as president of the “I think Malcolm Taylor was a see they’d“ have to –Maurice Yacowar union, there were no problems.” master because he had prestige as go to somebody like Yacowar became president of a political scientist, as a scholar and Malcolm Taylor to take the univer- they brought in a load of fertilizer to at the time and his parents had to the Students’ Union in 1962–63 as an administrator. He moved the sity up to the next level.” hold the dust down. So the campus take the phone off the hook to stop before graduating to leave the uac university along very well.” The ’60s brought winds of smelled like shit. We brought out an the furious phone calls, many from behind. Principal Taylor also left “The heads of the institution change—and dust—to the univer- issue of the Gauntlet with the fertilizer World War ii veterans. Eventually, the university in 1963, surrender- are always very important,” adds sity. Not only did the uac establish smell in brown ink but I don’t think Yacowar was canned for printing the ing his seat to Herbert Armstrong. Rasporich. “[Taylor] did a lot to itself at the current campus, but the anyone picked up on it because the sexually suggestive phrase “He came Armstrong, a former vice-president pave the way for the dual university summer of ’60 also featured massive smell wasn’t strong enough.” into her, and it was good,” in a piece at the U of A, fi nally cracked the nut situation from ’64 to ’66.” dust storms. Yacowar remembers In 1960—Taylor’s first year as of fi ction. Yacowar thought princi- of autonomy. The uac became the Though Yacowar doesn’t deny every sense of that year, bad smell principal at the university—Yacowar pal Taylor didn’t enjoy the storms U of C, a separate degree-granting Taylor’s importance to the institu- and all. founded the student newspaper, the of controversy he had brought to institution, in July 1966. GAUNTLET FEATURES MARCH 29.07 29

Gauntlet fi le photo The Happy Hooker makes students happy in 1973.

Tales of the early years of autonomy country. They were unable to attend Controversy didn’t leave Calgary a similar speech in Edmonton. with the departure of Yacowar. In Luckily, Mac Hall saw other October 1969, by invitation of the notable speakers. U of C political science club and with “The [event] that probably cre- funding from the Students’ Union, ated the greatest excitement, beyond members of the Black Panthers the Black Panthers, was the appear- spoke on campus to a packed crowd ance of the Happy Hooker in 1973,” of interested observers. Leading up says Rasporich. “She again packed to the speech, the Gauntlet printed the place, and she was something the Black Panthers’ Party program of a notable in those times. The and platform. The controversial notorious and their appearance at party believed in freedom and Mac Hall were at least some of the equality for the black community most exciting [events] in terms of and the end of abuse. The party also popularity and student attendance. wanted black men to be exempt from That’s not to say these were the most military service. constructive events for the university “Probably the most exciting [events] as a whole, but certainly exciting.” were the luminaries, in a broad sense, Xaviera Hollander, a former call attracted to the Students’ Union and girl, wrote The Happy Hooker: My to [Mac Hall] in the very fi rst years,” Own Story in 1971 about her experi- says Rasporich. “I recollect attending ences in the sex trade. Her campus a very vibrant meeting of the Black visit attracted 2,000 people crammed Panthers from San Francisco who into Mac Hall Ballroom and many packed MacEwan Hall back in 1969. more students looking for a place to The place was jammed. As I under- hear the speech downstairs. stand it, because I was standing out in By the time Hollander graced the hallways trying to hear what was campus, Mac Hall wasn’t just a place going on, they created quite an impres- for panthers and hookers. In 1970, sion among the student body.” Dinnies’ Den opened, complete Some students were so impressed with nasty shag carpeting. In the they threw objects, such as crutches, fi rst four hours of opening, the bar at education student Ed Hamel- served 1,000 students despite only Schey, who was angry at the Black having a capacity of 300. Panthers’ presence. Development in the ’70s on cam- “These people have a very naive pus beyond msc continued at light political philosophy and the students speed. The fi rst parts of the library council [sic] has no right to spend tower were completed in November $2,000 to bring them here to tell us 1972. It was completed in 1974. about our problems,” he said in an “The building of the library tower article in the Oct., 22, 1969 edition in the early ’70s result[ed] in all sorts of the Gauntlet. of stories on the parts of students One of the original speakers, to the effect that the library would chief-of-staff David Hilliard, got eventually sink because of the weight word that he would be unable to of the books,” says Rasporich. “It leave the United States to attend the would either reach ground level, or conference. The Panthers’ law prob- it would disappear entirely into the lems didn’t end there, as they were prairie turf.” trailed by both uniformed and plain- The rumours, of course, proved clothed police offi cers their entire false. trip, including their Saturday visit to the U of C to chat with Gauntlet Check out the features section next week for part editors. The tour ended when the two of Jon’s look at U of C history. Make No Small Panthers were forced to leave the Plans is available in the Bookstore. 30 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET Editor: Chris Tait—[email protected] photo

“Opa!” by Chris Beauchamp GAUNTLET PHOTO MARCH 29.07 31 ike it or not, most U of C students are prairie folk. LRather than shun that heritage, sometimes it’s better to embrace it. It’s amazing what you can capture with a car, “The Misty Mountains” by Geoff MacIntosh a camera and an afternoon.

“Prairie Skies” by John McDonald

“Fencing” by Geoff MacIntosh

“Winter Gathering” by Emily Senger 32 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET PHOTO

“Brokeback Laundr-o-mat” by Lindsay Goodwin

“Mr. Ed’s Revenge” by Todd Andre

“Santa’s Workshop” by Chris Tait 34420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHA MARCHN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG4 29.0720CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN GAUNTLET.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG42 0CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAWEB Blogging, cont’d from pg. 33

If you have your own php-enabled try Aminus3 (aminus3.com), which 7. Aggregate! In English, Facebook can be set up unreadable crap. That said, what webspace, Pixelpost (pixelpost.org) gives unlimited bandwidth and Several personal networking to automatically convert blog entries can take a blog from “Good” to is a good option, as is Gallery2 space, along with very swank tem- sites—such as Facebook—allow into notes. Also, there’s a Facebook “Epic” is the amount of quality (gallery.menalto.com). If you don’t, plates. users to import an rss feed. Developer Platform application that content. If necessary, have some allows the importing of Flickr gal- friends contribute. leries. To increase readership, make sure to take advantage of both of 10. Use multimedia these. Personal networking sites are a Everybody loves YouTube (with captive (and often bored) audience. maybe the notable exception of the Use this to your advantage. mpaa’s lawyers, but they’re boring). Use it. Copy and paste the “Embed” fi eld of a YouTube video into blog entries for great justice!

11. Have a dedicated email account for your blog Email addresses listed in any sort of online public area tend to get spammed way more than pri- vate addresses. Creating a new email address specifi cally for blog-related The fi nished product! mail is a good plan as it not only allows the fi ltering of spam, it also 8. Manage comments correctly prevents legitimate reader mail from One of the coolest things about being tossed into a junk folder. maintaining a blog is reader interac- tion. Note, however, that interactiv- ity doesn’t just happen by enabling comments. Like a rare shrubbery, a blog’s comments have to be care- fully maintained, well-trimmed, and treated with the same love and affection you’d give a small animal. Like a puppy. Unless you don’t like puppies. In which case, you’re a bad, bad person. Shame on you. Embed awesomeness! Regardless, there’re a couple things to keep in mind. Firstly, kill 12. Maintain a linkdrop any comment spam you get as soon Linkdrops are quick entries about as humanly possible. Commercial cool sites. They don’t require a lot blogging services are pretty good for of explanation and give readers a preventing a deluge of such crap, but good idea of what you’re currently if any do get through, make sure to stoked about. If your blog software nip them in the bud. doesn’t have linkdrop category, at Secondly, respond to your com- least keep a text fi le with various cool ments. Don’t be afraid to talk to your links. Who knows? You might just readers; indeed, if they’ve already hit upon a new Internet meme before taken the time to read, they’d prob- everyone else does. ably appreciate a response. That said, don’t respond too 13. Speaketh the truth! quickly. Let your readers (even if The fastest way to lose readers is there’re only two of them) duke to post libelous claims. Well, that’s it out before dropping The Voice not entirely true; celebrity gossip From On High. sites are pretty popular. But, uh, regardless, don’t lie. It may be the 9. Post frequently Internet, but you can still be charged Blogs stagnate faster than a three with libel. week old slice of gorgonzola left in a rez beer fridge. Keeping readers 14. Have fun! interested with fresh and innovative After all, when else are you going content is a surefi re way of having to be able to write utterly meaning- them come back. Note, however, less tripe and have others read it? that quantity is not better than quality. Having only a few wicked Have a crucial tech question? A wicked-cool website to share? Is your cat in your PC, eating awesome entries is far better than your megahutz? Email having an enormous archive of [email protected]! 34420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHA MARCHN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG4 29.0720CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN GAUNTLET.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG42 0CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAN.ORG420CHAWEB Blogging, cont’d from pg. 33

If you have your own php-enabled try Aminus3 (aminus3.com), which 7. Aggregate! In English, Facebook can be set up unreadable crap. That said, what webspace, Pixelpost (pixelpost.org) gives unlimited bandwidth and Several personal networking to automatically convert blog entries can take a blog from “Good” to is a good option, as is Gallery2 space, along with very swank tem- sites—such as Facebook—allow into notes. Also, there’s a Facebook “Epic” is the amount of quality (gallery.menalto.com). If you don’t, plates. users to import an rss feed. Developer Platform application that content. If necessary, have some allows the importing of Flickr gal- friends contribute. leries. To increase readership, make sure to take advantage of both of 10. Use multimedia these. Personal networking sites are a Everybody loves YouTube (with captive (and often bored) audience. maybe the notable exception of the Use this to your advantage. mpaa’s lawyers, but they’re boring). Use it. Copy and paste the “Embed” fi eld of a YouTube video into blog entries for great justice!

11. Have a dedicated email account for your blog Email addresses listed in any sort of online public area tend to get spammed way more than pri- vate addresses. Creating a new email address specifi cally for blog-related The fi nished product! mail is a good plan as it not only allows the fi ltering of spam, it also 8. Manage comments correctly prevents legitimate reader mail from One of the coolest things about being tossed into a junk folder. maintaining a blog is reader interac- tion. Note, however, that interactiv- ity doesn’t just happen by enabling comments. Like a rare shrubbery, a blog’s comments have to be care- fully maintained, well-trimmed, and treated with the same love and affection you’d give a small animal. Like a puppy. Unless you don’t like puppies. In which case, you’re a bad, bad person. Shame on you. Embed awesomeness! Regardless, there’re a couple things to keep in mind. Firstly, kill 12. Maintain a linkdrop any comment spam you get as soon Linkdrops are quick entries about as humanly possible. Commercial cool sites. They don’t require a lot blogging services are pretty good for of explanation and give readers a preventing a deluge of such crap, but good idea of what you’re currently if any do get through, make sure to stoked about. If your blog software nip them in the bud. doesn’t have linkdrop category, at Secondly, respond to your com- least keep a text fi le with various cool ments. Don’t be afraid to talk to your links. Who knows? You might just readers; indeed, if they’ve already hit upon a new Internet meme before taken the time to read, they’d prob- everyone else does. ably appreciate a response. That said, don’t respond too 13. Speaketh the truth! quickly. Let your readers (even if The fastest way to lose readers is there’re only two of them) duke to post libelous claims. Well, that’s it out before dropping The Voice not entirely true; celebrity gossip From On High. sites are pretty popular. But, uh, regardless, don’t lie. It may be the 9. Post frequently Internet, but you can still be charged Blogs stagnate faster than a three with libel. week old slice of gorgonzola left in a rez beer fridge. Keeping readers 14. Have fun! interested with fresh and innovative After all, when else are you going content is a surefi re way of having to be able to write utterly meaning- them come back. Note, however, less tripe and have others read it? that quantity is not better than quality. Having only a few wicked Have a crucial tech question? A wicked-cool website to share? Is your cat in your PC, eating awesome entries is far better than your megahutz? Email having an enormous archive of [email protected]! GAUNTLET MARCH 29.07 35 sports Editor: Jon Roe—[email protected] LLeapingeaping tthehe ggreatreat wwhitehite ddivideivide

“I broke my back last year. I was out for seven weeks. It wasn’t really that bad for me. I was close to getting paralyzed, so that was probably the closest to ending my career or whatever I’ve ever been.” -Ross Mercer professional snowmobile jumper courtesy Ross Mercer

mainstream because of the X-games facturers getting on board. It’s just Mercer has only been pro since got into the movie. Things just kind and these big events that Red Bull’s sort of exploding right now. Every 2003, but he has been riding his of progressed from there. I’ve kind snowmobile jumping done. We’ve been making fi lms for year it just kind of doubles.” entire life. of made it a full-time job to ride and Jon Roe about 10 years. The fi rst couple were The sport is comparable to profes- “I’ve ridden sleds since I was a seek out sponsorship.” Sports Editor just kind of ‘Billy Bob’ style, y’know sional motocross. Riders enter back little kid,” said Mercer. “I’ve always The sport may seem simple, but what I mean? Just Billy Bobs rallyin’ country jumping competitions or been into hittin’ jumps and stuff. You it requires more dedication and ighty metres and 30 centime- around.” free-style tricking showdowns. know how kids are, just hittin’ them precision than one would think. tres. That’s how far Cassiar, Another example of a fringe sport Though amateurs can enter the small. I had a chance a few years ago It’s not as easy as revving up your EB.C. native Ross Mercer sailed getting time in events, they don’t stand a good to ride with a fi lm company that was engine, nailing the accelerator and off of a ramp over the frozen lands of the spotlight, chance of qualifying past the fi rst making a movie. I just started really jumping off a ramp. Control needs Steamboat Springs, Colorado. snowmobile couple of rounds. Larger events are pushing myself and trying to go big- to be maintained throughout. In an offi cial world record attempt jumping has by invite-only. ger. They were pretty stoked [so] I See jumping, page 37 at the world’s largest snowmobile been picked up terrain park, the Compound, by the corporate Mercer gunned the engine on his “extreme-mar- Ski-doo and nailed the ramp at keting” craze 126 km/h. Mercer shattered the and interest previous record of 74.6 m. Mercer. in the sport is If you haven’t heard of profes- increasing. sional snowmobile jumping, count “Probably the last fi ve, six years yourself a member of a large club. have been when it’s really started The sport is small, but growing. to become a sport,” said Mercer. “There’s probably 20 of us who do “It’s just in the last two or three it professionally in the world,” said years that there has really started 25-year-old Mercer from his home to be corporate interest in it as far in Yellowknife. “It’s starting to hit as sponsorship and the sled manu- Hey, jackasses Do you want to go to a Roughnecks game, Sat., Mar. 31 against the Portland Lumberjax? Come up to the Gauntlet offi ces Thur., March 29 or Fri., March 30, ask for Jon Roe, sports editor, name one current Roughnecks player and he might hook you up with two FREE tickets. Or he might look for a hook up. Or he might hook you in the mouth with a fi shing rod. Or he might hook you with a hockey stick... 36 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS The ’80s Remembering the legacy of In conjunction with the Dinos’ 40th anniversary season, the Gauntlet is the Dinos profi ling infl uential athletes from fi ve decades of Dinos history.

Amanda Hu Sports Assistant

he 1980s was an impressive decade for Dinos football. TPhenomenon quarter- back Greg Vavra was one of the most infl uential players from this period, leading the Dinos from 1979 to 1983 and putting the University of Calgary’s football team in the national sports eye. Vavra is the U of C’s all-time leader in passing attempts, comple- tions, passing yards and touchdown passes. He holds the record for most yards passed in one game, at 627, and achieved the longest fi eld goal at 52 yards. During Vavra’s fi ve-year tenure, he participated in two of the most signifi cant games in Dinos history. Dinos sports information director courtesy Dinos Athletics Jack Neumann recalls the Nov. 11 game of 1983 with pride. Vavra (#17) led the charge and helped the Dinos capture the Vanier Cup in 1983. “Remembrance Day in 1983 was probably one of the greatest college “The Vanier Cup was probably player of the year in both 1982 and looks back on his university days he said. “You’ve got to use your time games I’ve had the honour to be a the highlight of my career,” said 1983, U of C male athlete of the with great fondness. well and get the most out of the sport. part of,” said Neumann. “Vavra led Vavra. “The only thing I can really year and Canadian Interuniversity “I’ve maintained so many of my Once you’re out of university, your the team with a take-no-prisoners remember is how much fun we had Athletic Union all-Canadian quar- friendships from those days,” said college eligibility never comes back. attitude and such ferocity. It was winning.” terback in 1983. He was also awarded Vavra. “We were good friends on and Prepare for the games and make the just gut-wrenching when they beat Neumann also raves about the the Hec Crighton Trophy as mvp off the fi eld, and because of that we most of them.” [the University of British Columbia team’s performance in the Vanier in Canadian college football. After put in so much extra work. Though Vavra was inducted into the U of C Thunderbirds]. That game put this Cup game. his college achievements, he went it didn’t really seem like extra work Hall of Fame in 1995 and is currently program on the map.” “Vavra led an engineered drive on to play football in the Canadian because we all just came together and the offensive coordinator for the The win catapulted the team to that Queen’s just couldn’t defend Football League. made things happen.” Dinos football team. the Vanier Cup, where they beat against,” said Neumann. “They just Vavra’s Dinos had an epic reputa- Vavra has many words of wisdom defending national champion led through the whole game.” tion stemming from their extensive to impart on current Dinos. Next week’s issue features ’90s Dinos swimming Queen’s University on home turf. Vavra was named Canada West camaraderie and teamwork. He “Use your eligibility to the fullest,” great and Olympian Curtis Myden. GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 29.07 37 Jumping, cont’d from page 35

courtesy Ross Mercer Pro snowmobile jumper Ross Mercer sails through the air, mys- teriously bringing Jäggerbombs to mind.

“Control in the air [is important], another advantage: dirt. When rid- of course, and controlling your ers hit the ground on a snowmobile, speed because you have to know they’re hitting a mix of snow and where you’re going to land,” said ice. Predictably, riders face a lot of Mercer. “You know, for freestyle, injuries. you gotta do tricks in the air. It’s “We’ve all been hurt a lot,” all about sled control and that kind said Mercer. “It happens. Most of thing.” guys are down for a while each The available arsenal of tricks for season. Mostly joints, broken riders is comparable to motocross. backs. We seem to break our Mercer admits that snowmobile backs a lot.” jumping is very similar to motocross, Mercer himself has gone through a sport he has a lot of respect for. his fair share of injuries. “Of course it’s always in the “I broke my back last year,” said shadow of freestyle motocross, Mercer. “I was out for seven weeks. because they’ve been around lon- It wasn’t really that bad for me. I ger,” said Mercer. “Those guys are was close to getting paralyzed, so super good, they ride year-round. that was probably the closest to They’re really gnarly. It’s always ending my career or whatever I’ve kind of been in the shadow but it’s ever been. I’ve broken a few bones. just kind of coming into it’s own My knee gives me trouble—I need because of the way back-country is surgery on my knee. There’s sort and the fact that guys are getting a of lingering injuries and there lot better hitting ramps. It’s getting were ones that were bad that you to be a really good sport to watch on kinda get over quickly. Everybody tv or live.” gets hurt a lot.” Snowmobile jumpers do have an Mercer’s age and professional opportunity to practice sans snow, experience are comparable to the at least if they’re doing distance other riders on the circuit. At the jumping and freestyle. most, riders have been doing it for “You can hit ramps in the sum- eight years professionally. mertime with woodchips rather Because there are only about than snow,” said Mercer. “We all 20 riders on the pro circuit, it’s a travel a lot. Wherever you live is pretty tight group. Though Mercer probably not where you ride for acknowledges there can be some the most part anyway. I don’t do healthy rivalries, there’s little most of my riding at home even animosity and they’re all working though I do live in the mountains. towards the same goal: promoting A person can set up a ramp pretty their sport. much anywhere. For the back coun- “There’s a lot of camaraderie try, you need to have access to the because it’s such a small group terrain.” and a small sport,” said Mercer. Beyond the year-round train- “We’re all kind of pushing it, to try ing, motocross jumpers also hold and make it happen.” 38 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS It’s the final four countdown Bracketology [Gauntlet style]

Jon Roe four teams left, and Jeff Clemens has one. Greg Oden matches up with Hoyas’ seven- Sports Editor Though underdogs are always exciting footer Roy Hibbert. to watch, and to cheer for, the lack of In the end, all that matters to me is fter two weeks of tournament, them doesn’t mean the fi nal four won’t that I win the bracket pools I’m a it’s finally come down to the final be exciting. There are four talented, part of. Go Gators go! Afour. It’s been a pretty vanilla first-rate teams with two exciting tournament, with few upsets. In three of match-ups. the four regions, the elite eight match-ups Florida’s path to another national were of the top two seeds. Beyond Duke get- title goes through ucla, the team ting dropped by vcu in the opening round, that they beat for last year’s the biggest upset was Wisconsin failing to crown. Seven-footer Buckeye make it past unlv. Our experts did fairly well this past week. Only poor Amanda Hu has no teams left. I am rocking the house with three correct of the final four teams, Ryan Pike has two final Who’s left?

vs.

6:07 p.m. Sat., March 31 CBS

THIS HOUSE WAS $178,000 vs.

8:47 p.m. For more reasons to choose a health career in Sat., March 31 Saskatchewan, visit CBS Standings at Final Four saskatchewan.ca [1] Jon Roe 123 [2] Ryan Pike 110

[3] Jeff Clemens 101

[4] Amanda Hu 64

2039 House_8x10.indd 1 1/30/07 1:37:11 PM GAUNTLET MARCH 29.07 39 crossword Editor: Danny Kirk—[email protected] Across

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Down Last Week’s answers

1. The world’s most famous pirate 12 A T W O O D 3 who is the basis for many cinematic R O 45 I S A A C A S I M O V M pirates N W C 6 L I L L 2. The rebellion of lower ranking offi cers 7 E M I G A I M A N 8 against higher ranking offi cers M ARKT W A I N N N 910 O L F I G H T C L U B 3. A three peaked cap worn by military N F G Y Y A W and naval offi cials in 18th century, 11 12 S R O D Y S S E U S 13 14 but most often associated with N G M H L S 15 16 I R F M I C H A E L T 17 Pirates C I L I A D K S E K S O E P 4. The Black ____ - Jack Sparrow’s 18 19 E H A N N I B A L S P H ship T A A P O E 20 M V F R A N K E N S T E I N 5. Captain Jack ___ A A K 21 7. Warm water area famed for pirate L O R D O F T H E R I N G S I E N activity G Created with EclipseCrossword - www.eclipsecrossword.com 40 MARCH 29.07 GAUNTLET Editor: Danny Kirk—[email protected] comics

Little Birdie by Kaveh Shojaei

Last-Ditch Effort by John Kroes