The student ‘news’paper of Imperial College London

Issue 1,412 Friday 24 October 2008 felixonline.co.uk

felix Inside Politics - How’s Bush doing?

Page 16

Business - An Austrian view

Page 12

Art - Renaissance faces

Page 18

Music - Kiley goes Koko Commemoration

DayFelix reports on the day2008 itself and the views of the students. See pages 4 & 5 Page 24 2 felix Friday 24 October 2008 News News Editor – Kadhim Shubber [email protected] The Paragon crisis three weeks later felix speaks to Paragon freshers who have been moved to other halls, and those who have been left behind

Kadhim Shubber ning student accommodation” on the to parents and tried to assuage their The students are paying around £113 waiting list for rooms in Imperial halls Deputy Editor Thames Valley University website, felix worries about their accommodation. a week for a single, ensuite room in but unless students drop out, there has been informed that Paragon is ac- As a small recompense the students Paragon. The students were presented won’t be any openings. Hannah Theo- Almost a month after the start of term, tually an inter-collegiate hall. Original- were given free mingle tickets as well with a list of possible rooms in other dorou said “the students are a priority 1st year students are still stuck at Para- ly 23 students were destined to begin as a minibus back from the event. They halls and were invited to choose which on the waiting lists for vacancies”. Iron- gon Hall In Brentford. As the main university this TVU/intercollegiate hall have also been participating in other they preferred. The recipients of the ically, although 1st year students are strategy being used by College is wait- much removed from the student popu- halls events such as the Southside boat rooms were chosen by random ballot. hoping to be moved out of Paragon, ing for other students in Imperial halls lace. From this group, 5 students failed party and the Southwell trip to Brug- Since the beginning of term, all of the postgraduates may soon be moving in. to drop out, the 5 undergraduate stu- to fill their place at Imperial. Hannah es. Attempts to integrate the 1st year female students at Paragon and 13 of In the mean time, Fabrice Clarke dents now living together at Paragon Theodorou, Deputy President Educa- students with post-graduates at Clay- the male students have been relocated and the other students have only the From 93,000,000 miles away are left in limbo and facing an uncer- tion and Welfare, and Head of Accom- ponds were not received well. 32 inch to Piccadilly Court, Orient, Southwell, cold comfort of knowing that the hour tain future. modation Shireen Brown, greeted the HD-TVs were installed in the fresher’s Pembridge, Southside and Wilson. commute each day is good training for Although listed as “our award win- students that did arrive. They spoke kitchens also. The remaining students are on the 2nd year. to the energy in your home.

Callum Macbeth-seath is a 1st How did you end up at Paragon? Did you enjoy your time there? Have college handled this well? year electrical engineer student who now lives in Piccadillly Court. I originally applied for South Kensing- It was a strain travelling in the morning When we moved in the Head of Ac- ton halls and I was given an offer. I but all the students at Paragon got on commodation spoke to us all and ex- wasn’t told about the 7-day reply limit really well together. We made friends plained the situation, which was good and so when I came back from holiday with each other easily and we got to go but Hannah Theorodou has been re- I realised that it had been withdrawn. to other halls events. I didn’t meet any ally helpful. She made sure we were “The College should make less offers It was only days before the Mingle that TVU students, we had our own floor able to go to the Mingle and kept us next year.” I was offered a room at Paragon. so we were kind of sectioned off. informed about what was going on.

Fabrice Clark Fabrice Clarke is a 1st year How did you end up at Paragon? Are you enjoying your time there? Have college handled this well? electrical engineer student who is still living at Paragon Hall. I missed the accommodation deadline Originally it was quite fun, there were They went to a lot of trouble to keep because I was waiting for a re-mark. 20 of us and we were quite close. Now us happy, giving us free tickets to the College didn’t tell me that I didn’t have there’s only 5 of us left and the atmos- Mingle and other stuff. It felt like we “The College should warn us in a room until near the end of Septem- phere is much different, we’re just sort were being pressured to move out of advance that if we don’t have offers ber. I looked for a flat and I put a de- of waiting around now. It takes around Paragon. They allowed us to join in instead of letting us find out days posit down before I was offered Para- an hour to get into college which is a events with other halls, although go- before the start of term. ” gon, so I lost the deposit. big inconvenience. ing to Clayponds was a bit weird.

Fabrice Clark Adam Cutmore is a 1st year How did you end up at Paragon? Did you enjoy your time there? Have college handled this well? computing student who now lives in Keogh Hall. Basically, I didn’t get my application It was a really nice hall, it’s only two Hannah Theodorou was really help- in on time because I hadn’t decided years old. I had a single, ensuite room ful, she set up a meeting so that we We’re going there and beyond. whether or not to live at home. I took which was great but it wasn’t worth the could choose which rooms we want- the offer of a room at Paragon because distance from campus. We were all re- ed to be moved for. I think the Col- Careers in Engineering, Science & Business I was hoping to be moved to another ally desperate to move into Imperial lege have done a good job but I think “We should be kept up-to-date more hall. I’m pretty happy now that I’m liv- halls and we were all very aware how there is a problem with the applica- Solar. Wind. Hydrogen. Natural gas. We have a ten-year ” about the accommodation process ing in Southside. temporary it was. tion process, we need more info. plan to invest more than $8 billion on clean, secure alternative energy solutions, helping the world prepare for a low-carbon future. Visit www.bpalternativeenergy.com Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London to see what we are doing to secure new energy for the SW7 2BB. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, 17 Brest long term. This is the future; and it could be yours too. felix 1,412 Road, Derriford, Plymouth. Registered newspaper Look beyond the limits. Friday 24/10/08 ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2008. BP is an equal opportunity employer. Felix was brought to you by:

Editor in Chief Arts Editors Fashion Editor LOLCATS Jovan Nedić Caz Knight Dan Wan David Paw Deputy Editor Emily Wilson Music Editors Kadhim Shubber Peter Sinclair Food Editors Susan Yu

Associate Editor Rosie Grayburn o f t eh W EE K Gilead Amit Afonso Campos Sports Editors Jack Cornish Copy Editors Film Editor Mustapher Botchway Louise Etheridge Zuzanna Blaszczak Dina Ismail Photography Wiz Kid Jonathan Lloyd-Williams Businees Editor Tom ‘Bob’ Roberts Dasha Nakariakova Luke Dhanoa ® A massive, massive thank you to Layout Editors Science Editors Kadhim for doing most of my work Alice Rowlands Mičo Tatalović this week (p.s. I’m not lazy, it was www.bp.com/ukgraduates Daniel Burrows graduation). I owe you big time Politics Editors bruv. James Goldsack Coffee Break Editor Katya-yani Vyas Ravi Pall Jov 4 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 5 News [email protected] [email protected] News Commemoration Day 2008 The class of ‘08 talk thrills and spills felix Editor in Chief, and graduate of the College, Jovan Nedić describes his experience of the day While the rest of you enjoyed a day off, felix interviewed graduates about their time at this great institution

s many students enjoyed memoration Day Speech. a welcome day off from There were two main themes to the lectures, a record number Rector’s speech this year: the first was What will you miss most? of graduands congregat- the “increasing role of science, technol- Helen Sinclair Mainly the social life- we had some really good ed in the austere setting ogy, medicine and business studies in friends within our course. of the Royal Albert Hall and received addressing the major issues facing the Katerina Neou-North Athe piece of paper that affirms years of world today.” The second was focused What advice would you give to freshers? study. Amidst the pomp and ceremo- on the “issues facing higher education Helga Magnussan Have as much fun as possible in your first year be- ny, history was being made as roughly and research in the UK, and how Im- cause 3rd year is a lot of work! half of the graduands, for the first time perial is hoping to respond to the chal- since Imperial broke away from Uni- lenges ahead.” What would you change if you had the chance to versity of London, received Imperial Talking about the first point, Sir An- Biochemistry BSc go back and do it again? College London degrees. derson went on to say that “many be- Nothing! Seriously, We would put a bit more work Imperial Graduation ceremonies lieve – and I am among them – that in during second year and make more of an effort to used to be low-key affairs but after the most urgent and pressing need is be sociable in first year. Dr Simon Leather, lecturer in applied ecology: WWII it was decided to make the for intensive research worldwide to “I enjoy commemoration day, supporting all degree ceremony a major event. Of- develop alternative sources of energy.” Are you enjoying graduation? the students I have worked with and finding out ficially known as Commemoration With most of today’s funding focus- Yes! It’s really great to see everyone what they are doing now” Day, it dates back to the visit of King ing on defence, the Rector went on to George VI and the Queen Mother in say that “research that will make cheap 1945. The graduation ceremony was carbon capture a reality, or that will organised to coincide with the visit provide carbon-free energy sources – which commemorated the 100th an- such as wind, waves and solar – is not niversary of the founding of the Royal adequately supported.” In previous College of Chemistry. The ceremony, years, universities were the main focal Are you happy with your degree? which celebrated the oldest of Impe- point of pioneering research, and there Tim Keating I’m really happy with my degree and, despite the imperial stigma, I really enjoyed my time here. I think uni- rial’s constituent institutions, became a is definitely a need to shift the focus versity is what you make of it- if you come here with no preconceptions and get involved you’ll have a good commemoration of Imperial students back on them. Imperial already has a time. The sports and social clubs I’ve been involved in helped me both socially and academically: achievements, the first being held in research programme into novel energy 1948; although it was not held in the methods, with the Rector saying that Mechnical Engineering Didn’t you spend a lot of your time playing for ULU not Imperial though? Royal Albert Hall back then. “this will expand greatly in the coming While at Imperial, I played for ULU waterpolo, winning 3 BUSA gold medals and was team captain for a year. From Royal origins, Commemoration few years.” MEng Playing for a ULU team was a great way of meeting people from other colleges and finding out about differ- day has become an important event in The clear message seemed to be that ent parts of London. the calendar and is an opportunity for universities, and in particular Impe- the Rector to advance his vision for rial, will need to do more in the field Do you have any advice for freshers starting your course? the coming year (and perhaps defend of new energy sources, something that In your first term, do no work, just enjoy yourself! his judgement from the previous. For I am sure many students and even in- Sir Roy Anderson it was the first time dustries will find welcoming. However, What are you doing now? he has come face to face with a large this then led onto the Rectors second I’m now working full time for Rolls Royce on a graduate training program, I would definitely recommend do- number of Imperial students (albeit topic of the day, where he went on to ing a graduate program, you end up working with lots of people in the same boat. graduating students) and a chance to say that “The UK science budget more The procession at the start of the ceremony, with the student officers and academic staff. introduce himself to the student body than doubled between 1997 and 2000 Looking back, would you do anything differently? at large. and in the same period research and I’m pretty happy with my time at Imperial, possibly I drank a bit too much and should have concentrated Similar to the school assemblies development [R&D] expenditure in- ticular coming 6th in the world in the to the UK students who wish to study not to applaud, except for the prize more in second year. Oh, and I’d go to Camden more, and Shoreditch! witnessed in many schools across the creased by more than 20 per cent in recent Times Higher Education Survey at a world class institute. The high winners. Contrary to popular belief, country, the ceremony started with the real terms. [THES], as well as the employer satis- calibre of Imperial students was also graduands didn’t receive any form of procession of various members of the However, despite this, we still spend faction with Imperial graduates which brought up in the speech, as well as the documentation, nor did they shake college, as well as the presidents of the less in these areas than most of the ma- is ranked equal with Harvard, Yale, increasing pressure for providing ac- the Rector’s hand. Instead every new faculty unions and the main Imperial jor world economies.” In essence, the Cambridge and Oxford. The Rector commodation for first years students, graduate of the College went up to College Union [ICU]. Once everyone Rector was pointing out the fact that also commented on the high number with Sir Anderson commenting that the stage and shook the hand of Lord was in their seats, ICU President Jenny not enough funding is given to these of international students, 46% last year, “We cannot continue on this path. We Kerr of Kinlochard, the Chairman of Are you happy with your degree? Morgan, gave her welcome speech to areas of research, and that potentially, remarking that this “is enormously to have therefore started to trial our own the Court and of the Council, followed Alex Dorobantu I didn’t enjoy it too much, I don’t like that Aero has no real pastoral culture, this was especially pronounced as all the graduates: a speech which was the government should do more to in- our benefit.” However this is a view entrance examinations with the intent by the Principal of their respective I came straight from a secondary school with a good pastoral atmosphere. However, I do think the situation changed this year so as to give a better crease it if we are to ever get a feasible that many don’t share since although of introducing them in 2010.” faculty. has improved since my first year. representation of the students at the solution to the energy problem. many view the high number of inter- With the speeches finished, it was fi- After the long and mundane task of College. Following on from her speech, Aside from the theme of research, Sir national students as an indication of nally time for the graduands to go on watching everyone go up on stage, it Aeronautical What did you enjoy most about Imperial? it was the turn of the new Rector Sir Roy Anderson went on to talk about the the world class reputation of Imperial stage. Owing to the large number of was then the turn of the new fellows, I was part of the mountaineering club, which was really good fun. I definitely recommend getting involved in Roy Anderson to give his first Com- achievements of the College, in par- College, others view it as detrimental people graduating, everyone was told honorary graduates and associates of Engineering MEng some sort of club. Other things I enjoyed were Pembridge hall in 1st year and the felix cryptic crosswords, the college to get their awards. This was we used to take the really big ones away on weekend mountaineering trips with us! then followed by the presentation of the new pastoral care awards, who went to What did you think of the graduation ceremony? Dr Bob Forsyth from the department Lord Kerr of Kinlogh’s speech was really funny, he made the ceremony for me! I feel sorry for anyone who of Physics, Karen MacDonald from decided not to go. the Centre for Environmental Policy and finally to Dr Gabrielle Sinnadurai If you had the chance to go back, what would you do differently? from the department of Computing. I’d get an Ace Ventura hair cut. Can you photo-shop my photo to have it? Dr Gabrielle Sinnadurai unfortunately passed away before Commemoration Day, and in honour of her efforts and achievements through her time at the College, the awards will in future be named in her memory. The ceremony ended with Lord Kerr How do you feel about your What did you think of your course? of Kinlochard giving a few anecdotes time at Imperial? My undergrad went by really fast! I really liked my course, and being at to the slowly tiring students, as well When I was at Imperial, I re- Imperial, enough to stay here to do graduate entry medicine. as thanking all the parents and staff ally felt that all was learning to who had been there for their students do is how to selectively revise. What do you miss about being an undergraduate? throughout their time at College. Now that I’ve left though, every- Miss being on campus now that she’s based at different hospitals, not With the ceremony finally over, the one on the outside world treats just going and meeting on the Queens lawn for lunch. new graduates went their separate me like a genius [because I did ways for official photographs, which physics at Imperial], so I must Do you have any advice for freshers starting your course? could cost as much as £55, followed have done something right! Try to put things into perspective and make the most of your 1st year, by lunch with family and friends. The when you have time to branch out and try different societies night ended with many converging on What will you miss the most? the Union for possibly the last time as The Felix office. Actually, I think What has changed most about Imperial in your time here? a year group. The day was long, the Andrew Sommervile that’s the only thing I will miss! Steph Alexopoulos The most noticeable changes on campus have been superficial- such day was tiring, the day was expensive as the library redevelopment, I expect there to be bigger changes by (costs ranged between £30 and £175) Physics BSc Biology BSc the time I finish my post graduate medicine degree! but it will certainly be one to remem- Left: Sir Roy Anderson giving his first Commemoration Day speech, whilst a student receives his congratulation from the Chairman on the right ber for all the students involved. 6 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 7 News [email protected] [email protected] News The College’s Honorary Graduates Posh enough to wash? No progress for Afonso Campos invites you to question the true meaning of being an Honorary Graduate or Fellow as Palestinian student he takes a look at the past recipients of this award Kadhim Shubber control and so it’s not appropriate for Deputy Editor me to comment on this specific case”. onorary degrees have and advancement of society, questions ties must do what they can in order nancial benefits in the form of future and celebrities in an attempt to boost Given the notable absence of Zohair been offered since the may be raised about the reasoning to raise their profiles globally and in- donations from these graduates, de- future earnings. With a month of term passed already, Abu-Shaban at Imperial, it is clear that middle ages to figures behind some of these doctorates and crease sources of donation. It is not spite their links to this institution be- The model is used by many indus- and little progress being made by the the College has been unable to make that a university sup- fellowships. understandable however that some of ing absolutely minimal if existent at all. tries, but it somehow spoils the pu- International Office, it is looking high- any progress. posedly deems worthy We have seen Imperial award them the people to whom the College con- A high number of philanthropists and rity of academia and demeans the ly unlikely that Zohair Abu Shaban, the It would appear that Zohair Abu- enough, or has somehow ruled judge- to great minds such as Dennis Gabor, fers what is by many considered to be industry magnates such Ratan Tata, past Honorary Graduates and Fellows Palestinian student who was denied Shaban will have to put off his dreams Hment that they have contributed sig- Nobel Laureate and founder of Holog- the apogee of qualifications to person- chairman of the Tata Group or Mrs whom despite not being extravagantly passage out of Gaza, will be taking up for at least another year. nificant amounts to either society as raphy, and Dame Carol Black, Presi- alities who are just plain wealthy. Our Lily Safra, a born-rich socialite have rich, have truly and whole-heartedly his place to do an Electrical Engineer- a whole or a field of academic or non- dent of the Royal College of Physicians, university is a world leader in scientific been awarded these Imperial honours. deserved what they have been given. ing masters at Imperial. academic life. member of the GMC and President of research and it is almost expected that It leaves one to ponder if academia has While in some ways treating learn- When felix first published this story on As far as records go, Imperial has the British Lung Foundation, amongst all who are graced with these ‘prizes’ become so competitive for funding ing institutions like corporations can the 10th of October, a buzz of activity been offering either Honorary Doctor- other insurmountable posts. be those who have made significant that institutions are almost having to be healthy, it is not the way forward within the student body and the Col- ates or Fellowships of the College since As Lord Kerr elegantly put it is dur- difference to the fields which Imperial throw away their pride (and sometimes for increasing endowments. If Impe- lege seemed to provide a little bit of 1932. ing this year’s Graduation Ceremony, has deeply been involved in since its shame) in an attempt to stay ahead of rial is ever going to come even close to hope for a solution to his predicament. While a lot of those awarded their some of the recipients have been the founding. the money-raising game. matching Harvard or Yale’s financial Members of IslamicSoc were organis- honours have, without a shadow of ones “honouring us” by accepting our By artificially widening their alumni Institutions of higher education are success, it must instil in its students an ing together, by email, to formulate an a doubt been leaders in their respec- offer. base to the über-rich, College is more becoming quite similar to places such incredible sense of pride and belonging action plan that included circulating a tive fields and instigators of change It is understandable that universi- likely than not hoping to reap some fi- as Hollywood – trying to secure stars to their alma mater. petition around the student body and distributing leaflets to raise awareness. However this was nipped in the bud by SIR WILLIAM CASTELL One of the dreaded washing machines, found in the basement of the Beit complex. Observe the Nida Harwood, Islamic Society VP, in Sir William Castell is the current Amersham, leading the company health sector. Sir William serves the Prince’s Trust 2008 extorsionate prices. favour of waiting “to see what the uni- Chairman of the Wellcome to become a major player in as a non-executive Director of BP under his wing and versity does”. This delay in action oc- Trust – one of the world’s most the medical diagnostics and life and is a prominent advisor in the served as Chairman cured after lengthy consultation with prominent human and animal sciences arena. Prime Minister’s Business Council for 5 years. He was Ravi Pall odic, washing of attire is necessary. are needed to dry their clothes. Deputy President Education and Wel- health improvement charities. Furthermore, his commitment for Britain. knighted in 2000 News Correspondent Unfortunately Imperial College has This years prices are an increase fare Hannah Theodorou. The fund has committed to invest led him to taking up the post of Not forgetting his altruist side, for his services to deemed it appropriate to milk the stu- upon last years, where a wash cost Felix spoke to the International Of- circa £4 billion over the course of President and CEO of GE Health- he has helped revitalise areas of science. In the current student lifestyle, ap- dent cash cow. As of present the added £1.50, a dry cycle 50 pence and was fice this week in an effort to discover the next four years. He was also care – yet another massively influ- Britain plagued by social exclusion pearance, hygiene and attitude is eve- cost to the student budget for the com- free the year before that. Although the whether waiting for College’s lead was the Chief Executive Officer for ential and visible company in the and unemployment. He also took rything. Walking down the street it is pulsory task of washing your garments washing machines are run by a third an intelligent action plan. The Inter- apparent that clean fashionable clothes within residencies comes to a total of part company, the increasing cost of national Office declined to provide BERNIE ECCLESTONE are affluent throughout the population £3. The price of a wash is £2, while the this basic necessity has caused signifi- any specific information on his case. 2008 Mr Ecclestone may One Management. He has built a has made countless contributions is also a known fact that Formula of London. One would think it impor- cost for one dry cycle is £1, indeed with cant anger and resentment amongst Dr Piers Baker, Director of the Inter- not have a regal gigantic empire based on it and to plenty of engineering fields and One teams are big employers tant then that the regular, almost peri- some students stating that 2 dry cycles students in halls. national Office said “it’s not under our title like plenty of created what is arguably the most car manufacturing techniques. of highly sought after Imperial Imperial’s honorary watched sport on TV, enjoyed by Over time, Formula One engineers graduates and is currently the graduates but he is the well over half a billion spectators have developed an incredibly university that feeds the highest baron of motor racing each time the event is on. Under safe and fast car. In fact, would number of engineers into this around the world his supervision it has also become the hydraulics work, the car could industry. UBS is the leading global wealth manager, a top- because of his status a massively lucrative industry. actually be driven upside down tier investment banking and securities firm and as CEO of Formula More importantly, Formula One due to the downforce produced. It one of the largest global asset managers. HRH THE DUKE OF Together we… Prince Philip was among the first to the fields of science, medicine, en- argue that offering the Prince this increase its reputation EDINBURGH Ours is a truly people-powered organization, be awarded the new Imperial Col- gineering or technology are not ex- doctorate is a grand gesture of on a national and glo- 2007 lege Doctor of Science honorary actly of Homerian proportions and gratitude on the College’s part. bal level. Even if po- where talented individuals are given the full degree after receiving the Royal his involvement with the college is Truth be told, HRH is clearly an tentially done for less backing to realize their ambition and achieve their Charter from HM Queen Elizabeth pretty minimal. His name however, important figure of our times and noble reasons, the al- II in July 2007. No one empito- has ludicrous amounts of gravitas having any sort of association with liance to the Queen of potential, regardless of their degree discipline. mises a ‘token’ Imperial honorary and certainly looks good on a list of such a figurehead is always an as- England’s other half Armed with real responsibility from day one, you graduate more than the Duke of honoris causa degrees. Obviously set for a university that has been can only help Imperial Edinburgh. His contributions to someone less cynic could perfectly been making conscious efforts to College. will benefit from our ongoing commitment to your personal learning and development, and our LORD BROWNE 2007 Formally educated as later was appointed Chief Executive sity, given the current and previous Lord Browne is the current presi- supportive, collaborative culture. a physicist at Cam- of the group. Browne was instru- Rectors’ commitment to establish dent of the Royal Academy of bridge, Lord Browne mental in changing the focus of BP Imperial as a world catalyst for Engineering and holds trustee Our application deadlines are: is a great example onto renewable energies and the change and innovation in renew- positions at the Tate and British of persistence, hard re-invention of the company to one able energies and technologies. Museum. He is still involved with Full-time Graduates: 2nd November 2008 work and determina- committed to making a difference Despite some personal problems both his alma matters, acting as Summer Internships: 4th January 2009 tion. He joined BP as and formulating plans to tackle the and resignation from BP, he has left advisor to both Stanford and an apprentice in 1966 impending energy crisis. He is the knowing that his efforts were not in Cambridge business schools. He and a ‘mere’ 29 years perfect companion to this univer- vain. was knighted in 1998. The application deadline for certain business areas SIR PETER LAMPL may differ, please check our website for further Arguably one of this country’s to restructure their admissions and the Department for Education and slighest. This kind of 2004 details. most famous and active philan- recruitment processes to include Skills where he was able to exert anonimity has allowed thropists, Sir Peter Lampl is the targets and efforts to offer more some pressure to “do more for so- him to meddle from founder and Chairman of the Sut- people with disadvantaged histo- cial justice”. Lampl was able to do the sidelines without It starts with you: www.ubs.com/graduates ton Trust – a charity that has as ries a chance to study at some of most of this from the sidelines – massive amounts its goal the widening of access to the best universities. He has been even though those familiar with the of media scrutiny. A higher education for people with called a “visionary” by broadcaster work of philanthropists may will white knight at heart UBS is an Equal Opportunity Employer. We respect and less than optimal backgrounds. Andrew Neil. During the Blair years, undoubtebly know him, he has not praised by all that seek to empower each individual and the diverse cultures, He has led universities nationwide he was a regular at Number 10 and become a household name in the know him. perspectives, skills and experiences within our workforce.

LORD PUTTNAM 1999 The Lord Puttnam of producing films in the sixties and Hollywood culture. This somewhat trustee for the Institute for Public Queensgate is a high- was the driving force behind suc- rebelious attitude has served him Research. He has also chaired the ly prominent figure in cesses such as Chariotsof Fire or well this side of the pond how- scrutiny committee on the Com- the media world, and The Duellists. His standing in film ever and has received the Orange munications Bill as well as the due to this position in world propelled him to spearhead BAFTA Fellowship of the Academy, Draft Climate Change Bill. this field, he has be- Columbia. His time there was less the highest honour awarded. He has seemingly no ties with come quite active in than stellar given some of his anti- After being knighted in 1995, his the college bar his title. politics. establishment views and his un- involvement in politics became a Puttnam started willingness to fit in with convential big part of his life and he is now a © UBS 2008. All rights reserved. Token Honorary Graduates or worthy of the honour? These are just a few of Imperial’s most notable recipients of an honoris causa degree 8 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 9 [email protected] Comment Comment, Opinion Let us know your views: [email protected] Letters may be edited for length and grammar purposes & Letters Views on these pages are not representative of felix The hypocrisy of ‘freedom of speech’ here is no such thing as ab- screams from mountaintops, when to issues that really matter. The BAE persons or businesses. If, however, the solute freedom of speech, anyone dares to question the concept cash-for-contracts scandal, where subject is a community, or even better expression, belief etc; there of ‘freedom’. It is the vanguards of this there was a genuine public interest to a religious group, then it’s open season are always restrictions on society that call people terrorists, for know the facts, ended with the fraud for attacks. A. Geek enters a world of pain how free you can be (and responding to and being offended by investigation being cancelled. Tony The very author of the book, Sherry that’s self-censorship aside). When it insults. Blair trumped freedom with “issues of Jones, who is quoted as saying “this is ’m thinking of buying a laptop. THE DEALS WE’VE GOT ON!!! really terrible jobs to do, like empty- on mobile broadband?” Tcomes to factually reporting on or fic- Terrorists? Which terrorist groups national security”. During Lord Levy’s about the free world, the future of de- No, don’t get me wrong. I don’t Yes. I’m standing wedged between an ing three hundred litres of rotten milk I do not, and yet I’m immediately tionally describing celebrities, political does Caz refer to anyway? Clearly it cash-for-honours questions, the courts mocracy, and the future of freedom want your advice. I don’t want inane grin and a five hundred pound down a toilet, snorting the dandruff off struck by the idea that I probably don’t figures, or religious characters, there is is not Aum Shinrikyo (Japan), Babbar stopped the BBC from making any ref- of speech so I’m not going to abdicate you to even visualise it, just waste of silicon, and someone actually the visiting area manager’s shoulder want to know, so I cunningly tell her I no absolute right or freedom to insult Khalsa International (India), the IRA erence to the story. In 2004, George that responsibility”, highlights the hy- keep on reading and avoid the says”This laptop has a huge five hun- pads or something obscene involving do, like the smooth operator I am. We Abdul Hannan or denigrate that person. or even ETA (of Spain). Will anyone Galloway won £150k libel damages pocrisy of Freedom of Speech further. urge to daydream about the decades dred gigs hard drive, so you can store a supply cupboard and four hundred proceed onto the actual laptop. There is however an appetite, in light even entertain the idea that these ter- from the Daily Telegraph. Justin Tim- When the University of Texas profes- Iof my life you’d waste describing how all your music and photos!” mouldy cucumbers. But it was still a “Oh, this one.” She says, stopping at of the status quo, to push the bounda- rorists groups would cause trouble for berlake was awarded substantial libel sor Denise Spellberg negatively re- A. Geek PCI Express works. Buying a laptop Is… is that an actual line from the little bit strange to be left in amidst a the piece in question. “Yeah, we’re still ries of expression, within the norms the author of the book (the Jewel of damages in 2003, when the News of viewed her book, Ms Jones demanded is the sort of manly endeavour that advert? Why yes. Yes it is. I consider graveyard of display models, waiting doing this, hang on, let me get you and the tastes of the “civilized society”. Medina)? Caz quite unashamedly has World wrongly claimed he had cheated Ms Spellberg retract her comments, must be undertaken entirely alone, just asking him about that but then decide for help that would never come. one.” The civilized society, in this case, is used conformist self-censorship, to be on Cameron Diaz. Papers can’t argue saying they are “unfair” and “slander- you and your chest hair, cutting down it would be akin to opening a kettle of Still. She disappears. A few minutes pass, the Western world, with its values of as vague as possible, to not be (seen) as that it’s their “freedom to make up sto- ous”. Ms Jones is on record saying she PC World employees with a machete exploding worms, so instead I calmly That was fine. I didn’t need help. Why and I get that uneasy feeling that Jere- ‘freedom’, as defined by its norms, its racist, or Islamophobic, but we know ries”. There are many cases of near fac- “used the most inflammatory language made of cash. point out that I don’t need a laptop that would I need help? I’m a child of the in- my Beadle is haunting me from beyond like and dislikes. It is this ‘freedom’ lov- that it means Muslims. The implicit tual (not even fictional stories) made [she] could possibly have used. If you Like all manly endeavours, the first expensive, I merely need something ternet generation! I can make these de- the grave, camera in hand. Fortunately, ing society that evangelically chooses advice to Muslims is, if you don’t ac- up about businesses and persons; and want to incite heated emotions from step is to convince the woman in your to carry around and do a bit of word cisions autonomously and handle this this time she reappears. to impart its values to the rest of the cept this book as a work of fiction, but there is no Freedom to make such li- any religious group you just use the life to allow you to do it; readers may processing on. socially complex situation with aplomb “So, you’ll need a few documents to world, through coercion and bullying. take offence, then you are a terrorist. belous statements because they might word ‘pornography’ in the same sen- recall last year’s hilarious wrist injury, “This laptop has the Intel Core 2 Duo and charm. I approach the nearest dis- sign up with the broadband.” It is this ‘freedom’ loving society that So much for freedom when it comes cause damage or injury to the said tence as their revered figures”. and the last thing my girlfriend wants processor!” ciple of the purple cloth. She looks like “Sorry, what?” is another fortnight where I have a I’m not entirely sure how that’s ben- a thirty year-old, but a thirty year-old “The broadband. The mobile broad- legitimate reason to replace washing eficial, so I calmly point out the one who was beaten viciously by her twen- band? Laptop comes free?” up with three hours of left-handed that I’ve been looking at. It looks like ties. Using a bat made out of pure Ugly “No, no, I don’t want the broadband.” YouTube browsing. something from Battlestar Galactica, Tree cutoffs. I explain, making hand gestures which Since the model I have my eyes on and it even has the metallic-blue finish “Hi, can I help you?” she offers. subconsciously become a stabbing – the bonsai-style EEE PCs – have a for when you really need to look like a I’m thinking probably not, but she motion. keyboard squeezed into the surface tosser in lectures. can at least get me a box with a laptop “Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t think we can Too many mornings by the Albert Hall area of a church mouse’s pocket watch, “Okay, sure. We should have one in in it and a barcode on the front. I ex- sell it on its own, let me check.” there are concerns that I might trigger stock, I’ll find out for you.” plain the laptop I want and she takes She goes to check. She doesn’t come s it evening where you are? I will never make sense again. Ideas Or at least, that’s what he calls it. of the Albert Hall. No matter how of- a flare-up if I spent hours at a time tap- He disappears. me over to the exact fucking same “five back. A sprightly, balding man comes could never handle the writer- click, phrases form, theories spring No, my central theme this week is ten you see it, the Moon at 01:30 in ping away on one. He doesn’t come back. hundred gigs” laptop I began the cru- over and asks me if I need any help. reader timezone difference into being and problems vanish. The a microscopic one. About the size of the morning is an ethereally beautiful However, she needn’t worry, because Now, I’ve worked in a shop before, so sade at. Before we go any further I ex- I go home and find it on Amazon. properly, you see. I could go evening is the best time for a writer to Antares in the night sky. All I want to sight. It has also pervaded our Roman- the odds of me ever purchasing an I know that anything can happen to you plain to her that I know what I need to Send your “I Told You So”s in to anan- with the assumption that you’re be read at, as one doesn’t have to go out point out is how easily things can get tic mythos to an amazing degree; and Internets In A Box are pretty fucking when you’re just walking around and know about the laptop. [email protected]. Please allow reading this assiduously in your Friday there to fetch the emotional reactions: out of your control. To take the mun- while I am of the Wodehousean belief slim. Why? Because JUST LOOK AT they generally involve you being given “Okay. Do you know about our offer 3-5 days for delivery of responses. Imorning lectures, but that seems as the hearts of the readers come to you. dane example that has come to sym- that the fact that it rhymes with ‘June’ unlikely as the assumption that you go So I’m hoping it’s evening, your time. bolize what I mean, there was a time is largely responsible, there is no get- to your Friday morning lectures. It’s far It’s God-knows-what-time on my end - quite recently when I saw the stars on ting away from its exhilarating purity. more likely that you’re reading this on I started writing this on Tuesday morn- a regular basis. Since I arrived in Lon- A seemingly perfect white circle in a Gilead Amit Monday afternoon, sipping your free ing and by the time I’ve reached this don thirteen months ago, I have only black sky, reflecting all the cyclical pat- coffee in the SCR, scanning me briefly sentence it’s five o’clock on a Wednes- actively searched for them on five oc- terns of human existence, there is no on Tuesday morning as you walk into day afternoon. But let’s not talk about casions. Five times. mystery over why the Moon is such a Anything can be fixed/built with foam Beit quad, or lifting your exhausted me. If it is evening where you are, look And while there’s nothing wrong constant feature of love songs, poems, eyelids in a departmental common up. No no. Stand outside and look up. with not looking for the stars, it was a paintings and mythologies. Because the f you’re a fresher you might not them to get you a fridge before the small fortune but I was encouraged by ing but expanding foam and a couple room late on a Thursday evening. If And while I realize the inherent stu- strange realization to tilt my head up- Moon is, at the end of the day, the art- yet realize the magnitude of the Christmas break). Most of the handy- the claim that it would produce ‘up to of sheets of an old felix. It’s art and de- that is in fact what you’re doing, try not pidity of my giving you instructions wards and see a pinpoint-on-black pat- ist’s closest companion. The one face ridiculous debacle that is deal- men that I have known to visit stu- fifty times’ the volume of the contents sign at its finest. (I think I’ll neglect to to be overly spooked out. Unless your to look up while blatantly forcing you tern that had become unfamiliar to me. that unites any creative soul desperate ing with landlords. Indeed you dent accommodation, I suspect, don’t and I had grand ideas of a sofa, or per- mention the fact that a couple of sec- name is James, you have a mole behind to look down, genuinely take a look at There. That’s all I have to say. That was to catch the midnight wave of inspira- might well visit a flat later in the actually have opposable thumbs (and haps some form of stylish coffee table onds after the photo was taken a train your left ear and are currently resisting the stars. Take a minute. Don’t worry the centre of this piece: unfortunately tion, looking on its blank expression year and be shocked at the mess some therefore probably don’t deserve the for a fraction of Ikea prices. Unfortu- activated the earthquake simulation the urge to do something amusing with about me. I’ll wait. not accompanied by Michael Palin out of the nearest window. The light Istudents live in; (don’t worry: it wears title). One came to mend my window nately it ran out in no time and took feature, which upset the careful bal- a spoon. Stop that. Now when was the last time you did wearing a dress and carrying a small which shines over whatever we do in off). But student accommodation, my frame and a chest of drawers. When about 24 hours to set. I was worried ance between the pint of apple squash Wherever and whenever you are, at- that? Don’t worry – this isn’t another sign. Just a small point; blink and you’d the godforsaken hours of the morning friends, is a beautiful, beautiful thing. he left, there was lots of mess, he had after the promised one-hour that I had and the book and I didn’t really have tempting to cater to all of you is giving panegyric about the rare beauty of the have missed it. when we can fool ourselves into believ- JellyBean My personal sty has such features as: hammered things and removed most got the wrong stuff because though a enough hands to save the library book, me a pretty bad case of emotional jet- cosmos or an opportunity to show off The reason this suddenly struck me ing the world has gone to sleep, and multiple cupboard doors attached of the crinkly old paint but I swear he skin had formed, the two components the table itself, my camera and the lag. Because the time of day you read my knowledge of astronomy. The ex- was because, over the past few weeks, that we are alone with our talents. upside-down (you’d better hope that actually changed nothing. But this was of my table were about as structurally carpet at the same time.) So there you something has a significant impact on tent of my understanding is that if you I’ve had the opportunity to see the For an object with one-sixth the value attaching doors was a fairly simple nothing compared to what my friend sounds as a half-filled bean bag. Still, have it, forget bits of wood, hammers, your ‘relationship with the text’., to use look very carefully under Orion’s belt, Moon from a bewildering array of van- of Earth’s gravity, it exerts an entirely process, or at least that having made experienced. with a little patience the project turned nails, screwdrivers and core plugs, just a pointless A-levelism. To those early you may be able to see the Big Dipper. tage points within throwing distance disproportionate attraction over us. one mistake you’d not make another) There are mice in the kitchen, the out to be a run-away success; I own a get yourself some expanding foam and birds among you, good morning. If a train and traffic powered earthquake stairs are a bit wonky and smoke keeps coffee table to die for made of noth- you’re in business. I’ve caught you early enough, you’re simulation feature that triggers every coming up from the basement flat. still ensconced in your warm, protec- five minutes and beds that collapse What do you expect the ‘handy-man’ tive sconces, game for some whimsi- spontaneously alongside yellowing to arrive with? A few tubes of expand- cal raillerie before the day’s tribula- kitchen lino and dodgy plumbing (i.e. ing foam. Apparently, any problem can tions commence. For those of you at toilets that flush upward). be solved by a Pole with expanding GMT+5 (noon, Gilead Mean Time), Great! It is nice too to see the attempt foam. With it you can fill up gaps in we’re playing an entirely different ball to create a more homely feel with the the kitchen skirting board and prevent game. You’ve got things on your mind, addition of framed pictures on the wall, the entry of mice. Fair enough, but the places to go and deadlines to meet. If though the effect is rather lost when thing was that, rather than moving it’s after lunch time then someone has you notice the Victorian rural black- the fridge to access the wall behind he probably already had the time to annoy smith scene is repeated three times simply placed a couple of blobs either you. You want good old-fashioned in- in one room. (Actually an artsy-type side of it (coming dangerously near to vective and a liberal dose of vitriol, ac- friend of mine pointed out that this sealing the freezer door closed); as if companied with a light cliche sauce to was very Campbell and was perhaps mice can’t climb over three inches of assure you of the righteousness of your an inadvertent work of artistic gen- the stuff. wrath. Those of you reading this in the ius). My friend in the flat downstairs You can also place vast quantities evening, however, are probably looking still has a chandelier adorning the high around the door frame adjoining the for something different. ornamented ceiling of his two-’bed’ basement and use up the excess on the The dying hours of the day are really open-plan kitchen left over from who- staircase. Of course, you must be hon- remarkable. In the preceding hours the knows-when. It glares down disap- est about the material in use, so avoid mind has been compressed, extended, provingly, dripping with contempt and tidying up the overflow with anything jumped on, forced into boxes, forced cut-glass globules, powerless to oust more than a half-hearted hack with a to extract itself from boxes, attacked, the hygiene-oblivious plebeians that Stanley knife. teased, threatened, soothed, twisted, now live there. This got me thinking, is there any numbed and generally mistreated. It After you get over the fact that your DIY problem that can’t be solved with is, to put it simply, exhausted. The Italian landlords accept rent in cash expanding foam? I figured if you can electronics of the human mind have only and count it in French whilst clear- make furniture from nothing but the been ripped out of their sockets come ly having connections to some form of stuff, you can pretty much mend any- sundown, and strange currents and mafia group from back home, the only thing, right? So in the interest of push- unusual connections start to appear. real issue is maintenance, (assuming of ing the boundaries of Material Science Things make sense in the dark that course that you managed to persuade I gave it a go. A tube can set you back a After owning one of these, you’ll never shop at Ikea again never made sense in the daytime and It’s not easy to appreciate the beauty of the Hall when it’s 9am and you’re tired. So take a moment now 10 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 11 Science [email protected] Science Science Editors – Daniel Burrows & Mićo Tatalović [email protected]

Podview: Wildlife Photographer of the Ant opinion leaders and political Armed with telescopic hearing, Felix reviews astronomy podcasts Whitton activistsMićo Tatalović make their views heard Year 2008 ants prefer dark, flat spaces with nar- sus-breakers and so, believe it or not, conference, Marie-Helen Pillot, a bi- that although any group member may The exhibit opens on the 31st October Science Editor row entrances for their nest sites, “play the role of political activists” in ologist from Paul Sabbatier University suggest a move, only certain individu- at the Natural History Museum. Here quite the opposite of what a modern ant societies. in France, said that in sheep, perhaps als have the authority to be followed Astronomy.com The Jodcast: our are two of the highly commended pho- Ant societies have individuals that human may like. They also knew that, Decision-making in other species unsurprisingly, any individual that by others. This is according to Aman- tos from this year. make decisions for the entire colony to inform others of a good nest site, may differ from the model displayed moves first is followed by the others. dine Ramseyer from University of podcast of the week! and so act as political leaders. rock ants lead or carry them directly by ant colonies. Speaking at the same In flocks of geese, however, it appears Strasbourg in France. “Night Griffon” As in Britain, in ant kingdoms the to the new nest: the more individuals “At dusk, Safie’s natural-history group queen has only a symbolic political that see and approve of a new nest the Yes! Oh yes! set up camp near the Kirtik river, on the role. Instead of the queen or some quicker, and hence safer, the move is. Finally a Brit- Russian side of the Caucasus mountain special caste making important deci- But who makes the initial decisions to ish offering, range. As darkness fell, Safie set off to sions, well-informed individuals make move and where to go? complete with a look for insects to photograph. Search- decisions for the entire colony, which To answer these questions Franks Churchill insur- ing some rocks with her torch, she sud- the others then follow. These leaders and colleagues set up experiments in ance parody at denly realised she had illuminated a even change their minds when they which two new nests were made avail- This week’s Astronomy.com podcast the beginning. pair of eyes. Just metres away, staring learn about a better course of action. able to an ant colony whose original (official podcast of Astronomy Maga- My prayers an- back at her from its perch, was a griffon This flexible behaviour of the well-in- nest was destroyed. By tagging each zine) starts with some advice for “noo- swered. They vulture. ‘I was shocked - and impressed formed individuals helps ant colonies individual with miniature ID tags, the bies”. That’s me. Oh, it’s only binocular sound so classy by the striking beauty of the bird,’ she survive in time of distress and high- size of Queen’s eyes on a pound coin, advice. (despite being from Manchester): says. Safie quickly took control of the lights how, even within this ‘simple’ researchers were able to observe who Remember kids; make yourself as “Hello Dave”. News from the LHC (not situation and shot two portraits. The animal species, personality may play a finds the new nest and recruits new comfy as possible when stargazing. good, but at least Geneva gets heat- moment was fleeting. The vulture crucial role in the survival. members to it first. We don’t want any neck injuries. Sit ing this winter), and SETI researchers hissed loudly, launched off and flapped Talking at the 4th European Confer- The results were surprising. The back in the chaise longue...relax...wait from the University of Hawaii (seri- “Night griffon” By Safie Al Khaffaf (Russia): 15-17 year old category into the night.” ence for Behavioural Biology at Dijon, same few individuals, the ones that a minute, I’ve heard this before (see the ously?) think we might have already © Safie Al Khaffaf / Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2008 France, biologist Nigel Franks from are most physically active, but other- Astronomy a Go Go!). Luckily this one seen alien signals, we just don’t know “Daddy long legs” Bristol University presented his re- wise quite ordinary ants, find the new is only 8 minutes long. It even manages it. What have they been smoking? Im- “Jordi came across this strange arrange- search on ant decision makers. Franks nests first and decide to recruit others. Credit: Audrey Dussutour, University of Sydney to make that seem a long time. perial’s very own returning PhD rock ment of spikes and spines while diving and colleagues studied colonies of Franks said the remarkable thing is Why is it only Americans doing these star Brian May also gets a mention. near Puerto de Mogán off the southern rock ants (Temnothorax albipennis) that in the middle of the move, these The ants marching under the command of their leader. Look familiar to anyone? shows? Where, oh, where is my dry These guys are über-geeky, but in coast of Grand Canary in the Canary Is- in the laboratory in an attempt to un- same individuals already look for oth- English wit? My dulcet Scottish tones? a kind of endearing way. Prof. Jim lands. As he moved in closer, he realised derstand how the colonies of tens or er potential nest sites and if they find a Nowhere, apparently. The yanks have Cordes from Cornell University joins they were a male and female arrow crab hundreds of insects, make a common better site they change their mind and Corrections: last week’s Red List update article was written by Dominic Andradi-Brown and not by astro-monopoly, and they’re not let- the team for a chat. He sounds like the backed against long-spined sea urchins. decision about where to move when start recruiting to this better site. He Erika Cule. Apologies for the mistake. ting go. guy from the Fast Show. He loves his The female had eggs in her swollen their nest is destroyed. adds that the same few individuals act I just checked; Astronomy Magazine pulsars: “They just keep giving and abdomen, and her mate was standing Researchers already knew that rock as both decision makers and consen- is Huge (like, Super-massive). The giving”. Don’t I know it. Ahem. Later over her, clasping her with his clamps world’s “best-selling” astronomy mag- on, a guy manages the hitherto impos- to stop other males from mating with azine (like there’s any competition). sible feat of saying “global warming” her. Arrow crabs are often found with So I’d better watch what I say. I just in quotation marks. The website for sea urchins, presumably using them as wish the presenter would stop talk- this is brilliant too, and if one hour is protection from predators – their im- ing about his June column. No. One. too big a chunk of astronomy (and I possibly long legs useful for avoiding Cares. sympathise) you can download each actual contact with the urchins. ‘The http://www.astronomy.com/asy/default. individual segment separately. spikes and tangle of long legs made a aspx?c=ss&id=104 http://www.jodcast.net/ wonderfully graphic image,’ says Jordi, ‘and the cobalt-blue background with a school of small silver fish flitting past was like a sky ofstars. I also found their “Daddy long legs” By Jordi Chias (Spain): the underwater world behaviour very interesting – this image Astronomy a Go-Go! Astronomy Cast category © Jordi Chias / Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2008 is not just a portrait, it’s a story.”

If you’re one of the handful of graduates who join Smart Drugs, Dumb Students Bristows each year, you’ll be exposed to top tier work right from the start. You’ll also be surrounded Before I begin, a disclaimer: I’m not More Astronomy Music greets the in- Fatimah Mohamied by some of the most respected lawyers in their a big astronomy fan, but I thought I’d trepid listener of Astronomy Cast. The Science Correspondent fields. This is a firm where you’ll learn fast and be give it a go this week, if only to get it universe is TRYING TO KILL US. Not stretched, but you’ll also get plenty of support out the way once and for all. So I ap- now dummy, in 2012. Hogwash, says An article in Nature by Cambridge and encouragement along the way. There’s no proached our first offering with an presenter Pamela Gay. We might col- neuro-psychologist Professor Sahak- over-hiring of trainees, either. We’re particularly open mind. lide with a super-massive black hole in ian showed that 17% of students use proud of the fact that so many of the lawyers who I tried not to let the naff acoustic- the centre of our galaxy, but not for 700 drugs to increase their cognitive and trained with us have gone on to become partners. muzak at the beginning put me off. I million years (how does she know this? brain function. These drugs are usu- really tried. If she’s wrong, where do I find her?). ally used to treat mental illnesses. An We would like to invite you to come along to And then a nasally American lady She has a way with words, Ms Gay: example would be the drug ‘Ritalin’ told me to “Sit back and relax”... well, Venus and Uranus are “like problem which treats children with Hyper- our Career Presentation and Drinks Reception frankly she wasn’t helping. I’m afraid children”, rotating on their sides and active Attention Deficit Disorder to learn more about the training offered at it went downhill from there. October generally travelling in the wrong di- (ADHD). Nature journal also con- Bristows. The Presentation and Drinks will be might be a great month for astronomy, rection. I worry about Pam’s kids. And ducted a survey in order to discover Professor Sahakian stated that there and alertness in healthy individuals. held in the Huxley Building, Lecture Theatre 340 but I wasn’t persuaded to go out and ‘wrong’ is fairly subjective, depending the number of people using drugs is an urgent need for safety tests, be- AMS also acknowledged the pos- level 3 on Wednesday 29 October at 6.30pm squint up at the sky. as it does on our direction being ‘right’. to increase their ‘brain power’, it cause the long-term effects of these sibility of these drugs being used until 9.00pm. I fear any of you with such delusions At least Venus has a nice orbit. Ours was found that 1400 individuals had drugs on healthy people are currently to gain an unfair advantage in will be scuppered by London’s ambient is imperfect. Astronomy Cast is great confessed that they used cognitive not known. examinations. light pollution anyway. Back to nasal- actually, 90% of it being about disaster enhancing drugs for non-medical In addition, Professor Sahakian was They are looking into using drug lady: “Take a look at the moon!” she scenarios – what happens when the sun reasons, most were either students or concerned at the ages groups of theses tests in the future before examina- says. fizzles out? Can we see dead stars eve- shift workers. drug users, this is because of the belief tions to prevent cheating. Ok. There it is. The moon. Doing its rywhere? – and other 10% deep ques- Amongst 20% of these users, 44% of that the drugs’ popularity are spread- Fellow student newspaper, The thing, waxing and waning. Full moon, tions like ‘why are black holes drawn them used the drug Provigil; a drug ing to consecutively younger people Beaver at LSE, reported heavy use of half moon... Does she do this every with jets coming out of them, when that eliminates daytime tiredness and students. these so called smart drugs or noo- month? nothing can escape one?’ Even Pam in patients with narcolepsy (a rare The Academy for Medical Sciences tropics at LSE as well. Apparently On to astronomical highlights...oh doesn’t know that one. Quick, snappy sleeping disorder). (AMS) declared that not only Ritalin the drugs are used as a substitute God, I can’t take another 46 minutes. answers, good analogies, and interest- So how do these healthy people get was being used for non-medical rea- for hard work, but also help in con- Skip to the end... some telescope tips, ing question choices. Mostly involving these drugs? It was found that these sons, but so were drugs that are used centration and in extending working the shipping forecast for space heads, the end of the universe. Check out next drugs were obtained online or by to treat Alzheimer’s. It was said that hours without the need for much and some jazz-funk to finish. Go away. week’s episode on aliens. overseas prescriptions. this drug was used to boost memory sleep. http://astronomy.libsyn.com http://www.astronomycast.com

COL3469 182x272 landscape Ad.indd 1 10/23/08 11:43:55 AM 12 felix Friday 24 October 2008 ACCA Accenture Allen & Overy LLP Amadeus Argus Business Business Editor – Luke Dhanoa [email protected] Information & Advisory Services Ltd Arthur D. Little ARUP BAE Systems Bank of America BlackRock Bris tows An Austrian perspective on things Cadbury Plc Cambridge Consultants Carrillion Plc CHP Can Carl Menger and his countrymen tell us anything about the current financial crisis? Consulting CIPFA Citadel Investment Group Colin

Edward Townes £100 and let you decide what you want free market banking economy, if some- tion and destruction of money, which unstable and must come to an end be- Buchanan Corefi ling Corus CRA International Credit Guest Writer to do with it. The ratio of the money one wants to expand the amount of in turn influences the price of money. cause the actual balance between sav- you save for future consumption to the money (by mining gold for example), The consequence of a central bank ar- ing and consumption is not what the To most people economics is a social money you spend right away is referred they have to take resources out of the tificially fixing the price of money is interest rate suggests it is, and a pain- “science”, but it is actually filled with to as your “time preference”. People with economy and apply them more profit- that the balance between investors and ful recession, or price correction must Suisse CSC Cummins Data Connection Deloitte wrong opinions and faulty predictions. then take place to liquidate the mal- Economists in practice take a variety investments. of positions that can be divided into But there is more to it. The central Detica Deutsche Bank DNV Ltd Doosan Babcock ‘schools’ of thought, where certain the- bank can keep the charade going for ories of generations of individuals have a while by creating consumption de- inspired a specific way of interpret- mand though artificially cheap credit Energy Ltd Dow Chemical Company DRW Trading Group ing human action. One of the minor which allows people to borrow money schools in particular differs in some at a artificially low interest rate, to truly profound and fundamental ways spend on cars and other such things. E.on EDF eFinancialcareers.com Ernst & Young from other mainstream ones, such as Unfortunately this kind of economy is the Keynesian or Chicago schools. It is inherently unstable because it is driven called the Austrian School, and it has by debt instead of savings. All it takes Factset Fidelity International Gallop GCHQ GE some very interesting explanations for is one contraction in the money sup- today’s financial mess, which I will at- ply (a "credit crunch", if you will), for tempt to impart. the entire thing to fall in on itself as no The Austrians were dominant in eco- new money is made available to service Global Research Gifford Goldman Sachs H.M. Forces nomic theory in the late 19th and early debts. This economic boom and bust 20th centuries and they were the first is a natural consequence of our mone- to explain the Great Depression and tary system and today's financial crisis The Army Henderson Global Investors Hewitt Hiscox why centrally-planned economies are should thus be absolutely no surprise. logically impossible to succeed. Never- This is a brief explanation of what theless, they were relegated to a minor- the Austrian School has to say about IBM Imperial College Careers Service Inside Careers ity position as a positivist revolution in the business cycle. Each time that the economics led by the man who said the central banks provide artificially cheap Great Depression could never happen, credit, as facilitated by fractional or Johnson Matthey JP Morgan KBC Financial Products John Maynard Keynes, unfolded in the no-reserve banking and fiat curren- 1930’s. There were many reasons why cies, the bubbles manifest in various the Austrian School was pushed aside different areas of the economy. Today, but most importantly because Keynes’ the immediate bubble to burst was KPMG L.E.K Consulting Linklaters LLP Lloyds TSB statistically-based theories validated, the real-estate one. The reasons for and therefore could be used to justify, this bubble existing the first place is the government’s attempts to intervene most importantly the cheap credit, but Management Solutions Matchtech Group Mazars LLP and manipulate the markets. secondary blame goes to many well- Several leading Austrian scholars intentioned, but classically misguided, predicted today’s economic problems, Printing money may be easy but it is certainly not the solution to this crisis US government efforts in the 90’s and McKinsey & Company Merrill Lynch Metronet Rail just as they also predicted the down- earlier this decade to get banks to loan turns in the Great Depression and the to individuals who were not qualified 70’s, and they explain that the root high time preferences want to spend ably than the interest rate. Thus there savers is thrown off. Prices are simply for the loans, i.e. “sub-prime”. This Milkround.com MW Kellogg Limited MWH National cause is the same each time. Main- their available money quickly, where- is always a balance and restriction on market information for people man- was compounded by laws such as: stream economists generally blame as people with low time preferences the creation of money. aging resources, so when the prices the Community Reinvestment Act of the business cycle on some variant of generally save their money, and thus However, in our current monetary are artificial, entrepreneurs’ actions 1977; the quartering of Fannie’s and Audit Offi ce NHS NHS Clinical Sciences Norwich errant human nature, such as greed expand the supply of money available system, which is not backed by any are systematically misguided, because Freddie’s reserve requirements which or confidence. I personally found the to be borrowed at the bank. Your time hard commodity, the central bank can they've been given misinformation. were quasi-government entities with mainstream explanation entirely want- preference depends on a large number literally create money out of nothing, So when a central bank manipulates all the moral hazards that ensue; land- ing, for why should such an abundant of things, such as your anticipation of and then put it into the banking system the money supply with fiat (paper) cur- use regulations; the dissolution of a law Union Insurance Oliver Wyman Operis Philips children, personality, wealth level, etc. so that this new money masquerades as rencies under fractional or no-reserve (the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933) that The aggregate time preference of eve- savings. In doing this, the central bank banking, it has the devastating effect of divorced investment and commercial ryone in the economy gives us the sav- inflates the supply of money, and thus distorting the balance between savings banking, and various others that cre- PricewaterhouseCoopers Procter & Gamble Rolls Royce ings rate in that economy. People who manipulates the price of money (the and investing, creating mal-investment ated a flawed framework within which want to borrow money for investment, interest rate), whilst debasing people’s in the economy which at first appears normal profit seeking behaviour be- or otherwise, comprise the demand savings and depreciating the purchas- to be a boom because people are ex- came systematically destructive. Royal Air Force Royal Bank of Scotland Saipem Scott for credit, and together the supply and ing power of the currency. This is why panding production chains with the Our problem now is that most peo- demand for money meet to form a central banks claim to set the inter- cheap credit to meet the expected new ple, including most economists, misdi- market price on money through time, est rate in the economy; in fact what demand for goods. Except that the agnose the causes of today’s financial Wilson Ltd Selex Galileo Shell SJ Berwin LLP which is the interest rate. The interest they are doing is controlling the crea- expansion becomes more and more crisis. Therefore, instead of allowing rate tells entrepreneurs the minimum unsound investments to liquidate, return on investment or “profit” that the governments of the world are in- they need to achieve to justify mak- tent on making more money out of Societe Generale Softwire Technology Ltd Spectrum ing the investment. Thus, the balance thin air in order to price fix the value between the supply (savers) of money of loans which in reality are virtually and the demand (borrowers) for mon- worthless. Value Partners Standard Bank Standard Chartered ey is absolutely central in determining I believe that we are faced with two economy-wide economic behaviour. possible solutions, which can be blend- Enter fractional-reserve or no-re- ed, to the problems of the mal-invest- Bank Standard Life Assurance Ltd Sungard Surveyor serve banking supported by a central ments that were created by the artifi- bank, with its ability to produce money cially cheap credit. On the one hand Carl Menger, founder of the out of thin air. In today’s world nearly we can allow prices to correct them- Magazine & London Borough of Brent Symbian Teach Austrian school. all central banks practice “no-reserve” selves quickly without government banking in that they do not relate the intervention, in the process creating a quantity of money they issue to any large amount of losses for the people human characteristic as greed sud- fixed ratio of hard commodities (nor- directly involved in the mortgage de- First Tessella Support Services Plc Thales The denly become systematically destruc- mally gold) that they hold to back the rivative market and other markets that tive in a specific time and place? Or, paper currency. You see, in a free mar- were similarly, but to a lesser extreme, if consumer confidence was the only ket banking system, currencies would affected by central banking. On the College of Law Tibra Capital Total UK Ltd UBS problem, then surely we could propa- inevitably be backed by hard commod- other, we can fight the ultimately inev- gandise our way to prosperity? The ities otherwise those currencies would itable and necessary price corrections issue with the Austrian explanation is be vulnerable to runs. However, under by using government gifts of large Vizuri Ltd Watson Wyatt You Devise Ltd that it is politically unpalatable, and as fractional or no reserve central bank- amounts of cash created out of more a result you will rarely hear this point ing, there are laws created to enforce debt, further boosting inflation and the of view. Here goes: this fiat monetary system, such as legal debt burden which may well be enough First, a quick lesson on money and tender laws and “lenders of last resort” to send our already weak economy into all in one place over two days monetary policy. Let's say I give you (central banks) laws. By contrast, in a The raging bull of Merrill Lynch, bull down! a prolonged depression. Geopursuit Imperial 369x272 Ad GEO5 8/10/08 19:17 Page 1

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imperialcollegeunion.org/careersfair 16 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 17 Politics [email protected] Politics Politics Editor – James Goldsack & Katya-yani Vyas [email protected] Cuba commemorates the Missile Crisis Raz Jabary The height of the Crisis was reached affiliated with the Communist Youth Politics Correspondent on October 27th when Soviet battle- Party during his student years at the What’s Bush been doing? ships were approaching the blockade University of Havana, Raul was often Exactly 46 years ago the world was on around Cuba, before an agreement found to show direct sympathy to the With the Presidential election dominating the news, felix checks up on ‘Dubya’ the brink of nuclear war when things was reached between the White House party and was seen involved in its cam- got heated up in the Atlantic between and Kremlin just moments before the paigns. In fact, had it not been because the American and Soviet naval pow- would-be clash. Although Cuba was of the strategic and economic interest ers. The 1962 Missile Crisis as it is now possibly spared utter destruction, Fi- in siding with the Soviet Union during known saw a crucial turn in relations del Castro accused Khrushchev of not the Cold War era, and of Fidel’s asso- between the U.S. and the Soviet Un- ‘standing up to the U.S.’ and blamed ciation with Che, some analysts believe ion, leading to among other things the him for not consulting him on the deci- that Cuba might never have turned James Goldsack setting up of the hotline between the sion to retreat the Soviet ships. Claim- Communist after the triumph of the White House and the Kremlin with the ing that the Cubans were the ones 1959 revolution. It was Raul who in- Politics Editor attempt to prevent risky future stand- living through the toughest of times, troduced the would-be legendary Che offs. indulged in the conflict between East to his brother Fidel in Mexico City in ello and welcome to my The commemoration of the Crisis and West, Castro demanded to play a 1955 and it was he who was the first first column as Poli- in Cuba was celebrated last Sunday major role in the matter. Several biog- to take the step of befriending the KGB tics Editor. During the with the opening of the first Russian raphies on the Lider Maximo, includ- service by establishing contact with se- course of this year both Orthodox Church in Havana that was ing ‘The Real Fidel Castro’ by former cret agent Nikolai Leonev. myself and Katya-yani Kadhim Shubber eral Reserve and Congress, Bush has nuclear test but the lack of progress on mature schadenfreude of his German attended by Raul Castro, which is his British ambassador to Cuba Leycester With Fidel’s closest lifetime associ- will attempt to deliver the best politics Politics Correspondent been looking to shore up his legacy the ban stems from a dispute in the 70’s allies on the financial crisis, there are first commemoration of the Crisis as Coltman, describe how Fidel burst ates Che and Camilo deceased, it is the Hthe world has to offer. on the international stage, notably by and 80’s caused by the abduction of Jap- things that should make his day better. Cuba’s head of state. The opening of into an outrage upon hearing the news question whether nepotism did actu- This week, yet again, has been domi- Like death and taxes in life, nothing abandoning almost every foreign pol- anese citizens by North Korean agents. Some publications, such as Newsweek, the Church on October 19th, being of the Soviet retreat and even made ally play a role in the appointment of The revolution goes on as Cubans celebrate the Cuban Missile Crisis nated by the US elections, not surpris- is more certain to feature daily in the icy decision of the last 8 years. The The issue evokes strong emotions in are already asking “What did Bush dedicated as ‘Day of Russia’ was an Khrushchev out as ‘the son of a bitch’. Raul as his follower. In contrast to Fi- ingly as the “big day” is under 2 weeks news media than the U.S. Presidential U.S.’s hard line on North Korea has Japan. A telephone call between Con- get right” and the growing consensus attempt to improving Cuban-Russian The 77-year old Raul Castro was one del, Raul has often been perceived as away. While all eyes are cast across the election. It is to journalism what jokes vanished as completely as McCain’s doleeza Rice and the Japanese Foreign within the United States is that the ties, which were damaged after the col- of the main figures in the 1959 over- ‘more amiable and quiet’ and also dif- would place Cuba among the top 20 oil the journey south to their country of pond, Gordon Brown has had resur- about the gender ratio are to Impe- post-convention bounce. The oppres- Minister Hirofumi Nakasone degen- Surge has corrected the errors of the lapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. throw of the Batista regime in Cuba, fers in physical built. This has led some producing countries in the world and origin. With currently a majority of the gence in the polls. rial; unavoidable. The number of col- sive nation, that was once part of the erated into a shouting match as Rice Iraq war. If this doesn’t put a smile on Metropolitan Kiril, head of foreign alongside his brother Fidel, revolution- to believe Fidel and Raul merely to be could generate unprecedented wealth 11.5 million strong Cuban population The increase in support for Barack umn inches devoted to discussion on infamous ‘Axis of Evil’, is now treated demanded of the Japanese, “get out of his face, maybe hosting a global finan- relations of the Russian Orthodox ary Ernesto “Che” Guevara and Camilo maternal “stepbrothers”. for its government. born after1959, it appears to be Raul Obama due to the ongoing financial the virtues or shortcomings of John to regular talks with the U.S. and has our way and let us do this”. As China’s cial summit in November will; noth- Church, had travelled from Moscow Cienfuegos. The reforms implemented On Monday October 20th the Cuban On May 23rd 2008, speaking to the Castro’s task in the current govern- crisis has been replicated in 10 Down- McCain and Barack Obama is even recently, in a move aimed to save the strategic weight increases, and Japans ing raises your spirit than being given to Havana in order to be present at by Raul from February this year when Foreign Minister Felipe Perez Roque Cuban exile community in Florida, ment to maintain the atmosphere for ing Street. Before the downturn of the more impressive than the mammoth progress made on North Korea’s nu- conversely decreases, this is likely to be the chance to act important in front of the ceremony. “This is a monument to he was appointed the official fol- arrived on an official visit to Mexico, American Democratic presidential the change brought about by the Rev- global economy, Brown looked set to sums of money raised by the Obama clear programme, been removed from the tone from Washington in coming your peers, even if you barely deserve Russian-Cuban friendship and all the lower of Fidel, which allowed Cubans where he was welcomed at the airport candidate Barack Obama said he will olucion in Cuba and prevent citizens, lose the next election by a landslide. campaign. Washington’s list of state sponsors of years. the opportunity. In the meantime, U.S. efforts that have preserved our rela- to make use of modern technological by cheering crowds shouting ‘long live seek direct diplomacy with the Cuban particularly the younger generations People considered him Stalinist, bad With that in mind, let’s examine terrorism. Pyongyang had begun to Things aren’t all bad for George President George W. Bush would do tions including the most difficult mo- communication equipment such as Cuba, long live Fidel, long live Raul!’. government if he be elected, something getting alienated and instead showing tempered, dictatorial and, frankly, dull; another topic and, instead of asking end its’ freeze on nuclear activity be- Bush. Despite disagreements with the well to turn off the T.V., put down the ments of the Cold War”, he said. mobile phones and the internet, seem Roque spoke to Mexican business that has not happened since John F. sympathy to the country’s long-term how things were different when times “Does McCain represent 4 more years cause Washington refused to remove Japanese and the rather pre- newspapers and ignore the constant The background of the Missile Crisis to conflict with the fact that Raul has leaders on the salary reforms in Cuba Kennedy’s presidency. Republican can- Socialist political struggle. were good... of Bush?” or “Does Obama lack the North Korea’s status as a sponsor of and unceasing references to in 1962 was the stationing of potential been the one seen as more extreme. that ought to ensure that ‘waiters do didate John McCain denounced these It seems to be the question whether In the current climate, Brown’s de- experience for the most important job terrorism until a list of its’ nuclear as- “eight years of failed Soviet nuclear warheads on mainland During Fidel’s years as head of state, not earn more than doctors’. Currently, promises and reiterated that Obama American-Cuban ties would be re- meanour appears to give him an ad- in the world”, let us wonder; what has sets, that the regime had submitted to policies”. Cuba that were in reach of targeting Raul’s often more leftist Socialist be- most Cubans hold government jobs appeared to be ‘too soft’ in dealing with stored to what they were before 1959 vantage. The serious, commanding George W. Bush, as both politicians the U.S., was verified. main American urbanizations. Know- liefs allowed the former to justify his and earn the equivalent of an average this matter. Most of the Cuban exile with the change in the top men of both image is good in a crisis right? All the from both parties openly and repeat- Now that the dismantling of North ing this, the Americans posed a naval position to the outside world to re- of less than £12 a month. Last week, community in the United States, con- countries, a question which may be an- polls agree. edly disavow themselves of him, been Korea’s nuclear programme now back blockade on Cuba with the attempt of main in power by asserting that if he Cuba’s state-owned oil company said sisting mainly of well-paid profession- swered in less than two weeks time af- Perhaps people are reminiscing over doing in his last days of office? on track, the Bush Administration is disrupting the movement of shipments be removed, ‘fiercer ones’ would take the country may have more than 20 bil- als, is eager to see the overthrow of the ter the American presidential elections the 10 disgruntled years he served as Obviously the financial crisis hasn’t clearly taking heart from the success to and from its southern neighbour. over. Whereas Fidel Castro had not lion barrels of oil, a claim which if true rule by the Castro brothers and make on November 4th. Chancellor under Tony Blair before the escaped your notice and, one would that diplomacy has brought, where top dog of spin shot himself in the foot hope it still catches the attention of, in tough words and threats failed. It is during the Iraq war (unfortunately this the words of The Daily Show host Jon trying to apply the same lessons learnt occurence is confined to metaphor). Stewart, ‘still – President’ Bush. While in North Korea to Iran, with the hope What are my feelings concerning our the crisis unfolded Bush stuck firm to of persuading the theocratic regime to PM? Those who know me will be able the Reagan-Thatcherite philosophy end its nuclear activities before, rather to tell you. of refraining from government inter- than after as in the case of North Ko- In other news this week, the financial vention but when the fall of Lehman rea, it tests a nuclear weapon. A U.S. Colin Powell declares support for Obama crisis is continuing but with little effect Brothers shocked the financial sector Interests Office is due to be opened in on most people in this country unless and the economy in general, he em- Tehran in November; an Interests Of- Salman Waqar McCain brushed off the revelation you were unfortunate enough to pile braced the adage, as Chairman of the fice serves the purpose of an embassy Politics Correspondent by saying, “Well, again, we have a very, your money into Iceland. Bad move. Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke para- but doesn’t carry the acknowledgement we have a respectful disagreement, and Russian-Cuban relations are looking phrased, “There are no atheists in fox- of formal ties that an embassy carries. Colin Powell, the former US Secretary I think the American people will pay up which is not the best news the US holes and similarly no ideologues in a This move ends a 29 year freeze in of State, announced his endorsement close attention to our message for the has heard in a while despite hanker- financial crisis”. Thus came Presiden- U.S.-Iranian diplomatic relations and to the Democrat campaign last week. future and keeping America secure. ing to their President’s war-mongering tial Addresses to the American public shows the commitment to diplomacy Speaking on NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’, We're long-time friends. This doesn't spirit. warning of the greatest crisis since the of an administration that knows it Powell expressed his disappointment come as a surprise." He went on to Last Sunday the Cubans, led by Raul Great Depression; I’m sure he almost doesn’t have the political capital to or- and dissatisfaction with the McCain state that he had the support of numer- Castro, celebrated the Cuban missile came near to screaming ‘all is lost’ der strikes before its term ends. campaign. ous other senior and respected figures crisis and scaring the crap out of the whilst pulling out his hair, just in case Although Bush seems to be on an in- "I think we need a transformational of the Republican Party, such as Henry Americans. Let’s hope we don’t see people accused him of underestimat- tense scramble to achieve world peace figure. I think we need a president who Kissinger and Alexander Haig. another Bay of Pigs, one illegal war is ing the enormity of the situation. (he has reportedly delivered a letter is a generational change and that's why However, Powell didn’t stop there. enough of a mess. At least Russia has When the President and the Federal to Syrian President Bashar Assad that I'm supporting Barack Obama, not out He went on to further attack his Party a cease-fire in Georgia, ending that Reserve presented the $700bn bailout proposes Israel pull-out of the Golan of any lack of respect or admiration for their ever-increasing drift to the rampage. to the Senate and House of Repre- Heights if Syria end ties with Iran), for Senator John McCain," said Pow- Right and how this trend looks set to It appears that in the last couple of sentatives, neither the credit, nor the which mostly involves eating his words, ell, who had also served as Chairman continue under McCain. days the conservatives have been up to limelight went to George W. Bush. The he faced some criticism from his allies. of the Joint Chiefs of Staff during the Furthermore, he expressed his disil- their tricks again, trying to evade a ban all-or-nothing high stakes game that is The new Japanese Prime Minister Taro Clinton and Bush Jr administrations. lusionment about Palin, believing her on overseas donations. the election race between Obama and Aso is unhappy at the U.S.’s decision Powell’s support will provide a boost not to be ready for the Oval Office. The Church of England is doomed McCain overshadowed the economic to remove North Korea from the list. to Obama’s perceived lack of foreign Powell’s words are likely to have a sig- according to an imigration minister, crisis and the main question asked by This stems from Japan’s, along with policy experience and national security nificant positive impact on the Obama which comes at the same time as rath- many reporters was “Who will benefit South Korea’s, position as a prime tar- credentials. But Powell doesn’t believe campaign. As a 26-year veteran of Con- er a lot of people getting rather angry most from this in the polls?” With Con- get for any North Korean attacks and this to be the main hurdle in Obama’s gress and having played an active role over abortion - mostly those religious gressmen, Federal Reserve officials and also from the fact that the day before quest for the White house. The con- in the Vietnam and the Gulf wars, his types. the Presidential candidates contesting the U.S.’s announcement, Japan stant aura of negativity and smear support provides the Obama campaign When having a minor crisis at- the limelight and patting themselves extended its port ban on tactics that are, in Powell’s view, being with some serious ammunition. tempting to think of something other on the back for a job well done on the North Korean ships; used by the McCain campaign are just Even thought the polls are showing than the disappearing economy and bailout bill, President Bush was forced the lack of co-or- a step too far. that Obama is in the lead, anything is the battle to be the next “leader of the back to the irrelevancy of the Oval Of- dination here He remarked that senior members possible. Palin’s cameo comedy appear- free world” to write about, one par- fice. Indeed at a time when firm, con- is painfully of his own party were talking about ance on Saturday Night Live, which ticularly inspired chap told me to write sistent and visible leadership is needed apparent. Obama being a Muslim. To which drew a record viewer turnout, went to “any old bollocks, it’s only a student to restore confidence, or at least stem Japan’s port Powell rebuked, “Well, the correct show that the McCain campaign may newspaper.” the tide of distrust, in the markets, ban began answer is, he is not a Muslim. He's a still have a few tricks up its sleeve. But Well, my friends, we here at Felix are President Bush’s behaviour has pre- in October Christian, has always been a Christian. with the dark clouds of Troopergate serious about these few scraps of pa- dictably bordered on incompetent. 2006 after But the really right answer is, 'What if over Palins shoulders and McCains in- per but we need your input to make it With no planned campaign appear- North Ko- he is? Is there something wrong with ability to arouse the voter’s passions, better and enable me to be lazy. Palm ances this election and the handling of rea con- being a Muslim in this country?' The will such novelty items shift American leaves and grapes please. the financial crisis falling to the Fed- ducted a answer's 'No, that's not America.'” voter’s opinions? Only time will tell. In direct conflict with his own party, Colin Powell has given his support to Barack Obama 18 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 19 [email protected] Arts Culture & Arts Editors – Caz Knight, David Paw and Emily Wilson Budding culture vulture? Write for us courtship in 15th century Europe. the audio guide. I love van Eyck’s self- history lesson, and Phillip II of Spain’s The Arts [email protected] Firstly, we see the Renaissance’s perfect portrait – he looks shrewd and cocky. ‘swagger portraits’ do fit quite nicely in wife. Boys take note. She has blonde, He knows how good he is and he wants the space. Also, this is the first room lightly curling hair, pure, pale skin and that to be preserved forever! where we actually get to see some Ti- she holds an orange blossom in her You will all recognise ‘The Ugly tian portraits. I am unimpressed. Al- delicate hand symbolising chastity. Woman’. This timeless portrait may though his technique is clearly innova- This portrait was obviously sent to the be a satire on lust or a cruel mocking tive, the colours aren’t as rich as I like, lady’s hubby-to-be to tantalise his taste of an ugly person in love. She clasps a nor are the features as fine. However, buds. Phwoar. rosebud next to her wrinkled cleavage, his portrayal of Pope Paul III does get As we know, Henry VIII also par- offering it to the man in the painting across his unequivocal power. This guy Mine eyes have seen the glory took in these portrait courtships. He next door. Funnily enough, she is the is scary and must have been incredibly found his 4th wife, Anne of Cleves this best thing in Room 5, under the theme formidable in real life. Shiver. way – just like a Tudor dating agency. ‘Love and Beauty’. Everyone else here So, in the Renaissance, for the first Rosie Grayburn is engrossed and enamoured at the NG’s new exhibition, Renaissances Faces Interestingly he also sought out other is boring and beautiful, modelled on time people wanted to be remembered prospective brides before he [wrong- Michelangelo’s David or the ideal as the unique person they were. This is he new exhibition at the I enter the semi-Blockbuster Ren- was not to hide the fugly side of your markable at first but I ended up gazing (or pensée in French) means thought. ly] chose Anne ‘take two’. His court woman. clearly demonstrated in this exhibition NG, Renaissance Faces, aissance Faces with trepidation but face, but this angle was said to be the at him for almost 15 minutes and had My favourite painting here was the painter, Holbein, was sent to Brussels The variety of drawings in the next with the huge variety of people on dis- was hailed as “something soon relax into paintings-mode with most memorable view of a person to keep coming back to him to see his portrait of Lady Anne Lovell by Hol- to paint the famously beautiful Chris- room keeps us interested as the exhi- play – it’s like going to a fabulous party good, rather than some- the help of the soothing, Welsh tones and showed how virtuous you were. self-assuredness and deep eyes. I was bein, one of my favourite artists. She tina of Denmark. At the age of 16 she bition draws to a close. There are fine full of witty, attractive people. There thing lots of people will of the nice lady talking on my audio They were obviously emulating antiq- absolutely captivated. looks so modest but the portrait does had been widowed already and Henry Holbein sketches, a self portrait by are Medici bankers, virtuous wives, like”, a.k.a. an average variety of excep- guide. Audio guides are most definitely uity, like Roman coins etc. However, On entering the second room it was show her wealth very discreetly with was interested. In the portrait she is Pontormo (the 1st Calvin Klein model) bored and rich young men, Emperors Ttional paintings. Most things at the NG worth every penny if you do like learn- they soon realised that was a load of like I was walking into a Renaissance her beautiful, expensive ermine hat. I dressed full length in black and has a in his underwear and a portrait of a and popes… In my opinion, Renais- are bound to be OK due to the incred- ing about the art and stories behind bollocks and as you walk around the house where everyone looks up from love Holbien’s elegantly twirling leaves foxy look in her eye. Fortunately for corpse. This may sound rather sinis- sance Faces is a blockbuster of an exhi- ible expert knowledge of each curator the paintings. The blurb is not enough room, you notice that the portrait are their tasks to see who’s just come in. I as a backdrop and the inclusion of her Christina the marriage negotiations ter but the artist has actually used his bition. I learnt so much and it is really about their field, which always leaks and they hardly ever blurb about tech- gradually turning to a full-frontal posi- felt like I disturbed a couple of people pet squirrel eating an acorn. The lady came to nothing, and Henry took Anne death sketch to make a portrait of the quite magical being able to look into out in either the audio guide or the nique, paint or history in depth. They tion. Clever curators! reading as they glance up angrily from was identified partly because of clever of Cleves instead. man with his doting grandson. The re- these 500 year-old faces which are so blurb by each painting: “To hear our cost £3 for students, which works out Bellini’s portrait of Doge Leonardo their books. These portraits seem far addition of a starling to her picture. Room 4 passes quickly although I sult brings the man back to life in a col- wonderfully preserved. curator of Northern European Ren- as two hours of fun with some Renais- Loredon really turns your head in this less posed even though they all were Starling is a play on words of the lady’s enjoy learning about Jan van Eyck, of ourful and very sweet commemorative I wonder, in 500 years time when aissance Female Forms tell you more sance music thrown in, too! first room. The Doge radiates power probably sat for. ancestral seat, East Harling. Clever, whom everyone seems to have heard painting. Sniff. there is a ‘21st century Faces’ exhibi- about her nipples, press the green Following the proper etiquette of from his visage. The amazing life- The faces in this room seem to have eh? but me. For some reason, the last room of tion at the National Gallery, how will button”. All in all, you always tend to exhibitions, Room 1 contains all the like features of his head show the ad- more personality, perhaps due to the By this time in the exhibition I have There are several of his well-known the exhibition is dedicated to the rul- we be remembered? leave their exhibitions feeling that was oldest portraits of the Renaissance. In vancement of technique with the use better use of light by painters. We also noticed a lot of these paintings actu- paintings displayed here and you can ing powers of the Renaissance: that is money well spent, even though you 1400, people suddenly decided that of paints. I’d like to think I’m a bit of a start to notice another Renaissance ally come from ‘The National Gallery appreciate his absurdly good technique the Church and the monarchs. It is a have no idea how you’re going to use they wanted to be remembered for paint geek and it’s fascinating to note trait in these paintings – the use of London’. I am disappointed that they and skill with paint. Right on cue, the little demeaning after seeing all those Renaissance Faces is on until 18th all those shiny, new postcards you just who they were as individuals and not the change from tempura-based paint symbolism in vast quantities. Art His- have just been moved downstairs from NG pulls their expert on Northern Eu- wonderful portraits to be reminded January. It costs £10.50 with your blew your budget on. as generic workshop copies of a face. to oil paints. Oil paints dry much more torians, have a field day! There is an their usual spots in the main gallery to ropean Renaissance paint out of the about who really was in charge of this student card and it is well worth I loathe the space they use for their The first portrait is a stunning profile slowly than tempura or egg-based unnamed lady in one painting. What is form an exhibition with other works of bag so they can tell us all about him on ‘rebirth’ of the arts. Ah well, it is a nice the money. Do it, do it now. What a pretty picture you drew. Bless. paying exhibitions. The crypt-like of the daughter of Henry IV. It is in fan- paints so artists realised they could her name? a similar genre. Is it just a cheap trick Sainsbury Wing basement is suitably tastic condition and has clearly been spend much longer manipulating the Well, Margarita of course! Her dress by the NG or a money-saving scheme neutral for any use but I really wish restored or tidied up for display – the colours and shapes on the canvas or is embroidered with daisies, she holds in the midst of the threat of recession? they’d use the main building for these blue of her dress is rich and the gold panel. The resulting naturalistic works a string of pearls and a pet dragon – all Eventually I decide to feel proud that things, if only for the feel of some natu- pattern is ornate and pure. She sports are fine in detail and much more inter- of which means Margarita or are syn- so many of these lovely, lovely portraits ral light and the elegant walls. Howev- a fashionably Renaissance hairstyle – a esting to look at. onymous with Saint Margarita. An- belong to us as a country (Insert Na- er, the grey neutrality of the Sainsbury plucked hairline. Yes, girls: a receding I’m afraid to say I fell for a young man other example of symbolism is shown tional Anthem here). Also, I guess they Wing seems quite suitable for their hairline was all the rage! while I was at the gallery. The young obviously with “Man holding skull and do make more sense when put into a Renaissance paintings as it mimics the In the 15th century before the full man in question was painted by Bot- a pansy”. No, he does not want to kill context like this exhibition. The high price of living the dream blank religious homes most of them frontal portrait became popularised, ticelli and he was my favourite in the all the Gays: he is meditating on death. Room 3 highlights the use of por- probably occupied in their heyday. a profile was the angle of choice. This whole exhibition. He seems so unre- The skull means death and the pansy traiture in marriage negotiations and Katie Clemence stays gripped through Australian playwright Andrew Upton’s darkly comic play, Riflemind

t was a long time since I’d been to it focuses on the relationships between the band, causing the split, he arranges never abuse again. boldly explores the dark secrets of hu- the theatre, so I remember feel- the members of a once-iconic band a reunion for them in his decadent John Hannah shines like a Scottish man relationships, using suspense and ing slightly wary as I idled in the (Riflemind) attempting to get back to- country house. He has starved himself beacon in the role of John, the moody, intrigue to keep the audience wanting foyer of Trafalgar Studios before gether and go on tour. We’ve all seen of music for 6 years, choosing instead world-weary protagonist, whilst Susan more. the start of what I’d just learned how successful reunion tours can be, to lead a life of abstinence with his yo- Prior emerges as a compelling char- Overall, if you are looking for a was to be a play of two and a half hours. but a highly-strung frontman, junkie ga-obsessed wife, Lynn. acter in her role as Lynn, the dutiful frightening insight into the moments I hadn’t had much sleep, so I hoped the bassist and broke drummer lead the Their delicate equilibrium is shat- housewife who gave up her days as a of desperation, insecurity and anxiety show would be exciting enough to keep audience to question whether it will tered, however, by the arrival of the wild child to save her marriage. that characterise the human race, cou- me awake and gripped. really work this time. band; old relationships are rekindled Critics described the play as “darkly pled with awkward and at times bleak The show, directed by Phillip Sey- The play revolves around John, the while John and Lynn are again tempted comic” and “explosive”, and I would be humour, then Riflemind is right up mour Hoffman, is set in modern times- lead guitarist. Having walked out on by the alcohol and drugs they swore to inclined to agree with them – the play your alley.

It’s very difficult to decide which is more attractive. I’m not too sure why we’re deciding but I’m going to go for the fruit.. delicious. John Hannah, left, as John in Andrew Upton’s new play Riflemind. Did the chap playing the guitar just fart? How terribly rude. 20 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 21 Arts [email protected] [email protected] Arts The Little Sparrow takes flight DramSoc’s first show of the year Caz Knight keeps warm with some scintillating vocals, courtesy of a new biopic of the great Edith Piaf Tosin Ajayi casts an expert eye over the first performance of DramSoc’s ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’

nyone who thinks they ramsoc’s opening salvo sometimes flies perilously close to car- have never heard of Ed- of the year is Oscar Wil- icature. The Algernon/Jack interaction ith Piaf will know ex- de’s The Importance of is central to the play working, and the actly who she is upon Being Earnest, an 1895 work of Amit and Szafranski keeps the hearing her distinctively comedy which is prob- play ticking over nicely. powerful voice sing just a few lines of ably Wilde’s best-known play. And now for the criticism: the first A‘Je ne regrette rien’. Regarded as one DThe play opens with Algernon, an act takes a while to get going, and the of France’s greatest popular singers, aristocratic young Londoner, receiv- cast don’t seem to truly believe the co- she was able to bring tears to the eyes ing his friend Ernest Worthing, whilst incidences that lead to the inevitably of many who could not understand a waiting for a visit from his aunt, Lady happy ending. There’s a bit too much word of French. Bracknell. Ernest then professes his ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ going on Standing only 4’10” tall, the “Little love for Lady Bracknell’s daughter here. It’s not giving anything away to Sparrow” was anything but in char- Gwendolen and states his desire to say that a few people get married, but acter and energy, living a hectic and marry her. Due to a cigarette case that at some points the casts look embar- eventful life involving numerous boy- he left in Algernon’s care, it unfolds rassed for that to be the case. From a friends, husbands, car crashes, mor- that Ernest is actually Jack Worthing, technical standpoint, good use is made phine addiction, being brought up in and has created the Ernest persona so of the three location set, including an a brothel, helping French prisoners he can come on jaunts into London interval set-change that will leave those escape Nazi persecution, colossal fame from the country. As he says, ‘I’m Er- paying attention wondering “How did and extraordinary talent. nest in Town and Jack in the country’. they do that?”. Plus there is some set- Much of her life remains mysterious Despite Lady Bracknell’s objections, dressing that will have you wondering despite many written biographies, as Jack proposes to Gwendolen, planning if there are any plants missing around well as the film about her life, La Vie en to kill off the Ernest persona should college. Rose, although the legend that she was she agree. But she blows that notion As an introduction to Wilde, this born on the pavement of the Rue de out of the water with the line “the mo- production works really well, and Belleville in Paris is most likely incor- ment Algernon mentioned that he had those who are conversant with the rect! The Donmar Warehouse’s pro- a friend called Ernest, I knew I was des- playwright will be pleasantly surprised. duction moves from its home in Cov- tined to love him”. She is determined to The most appropriate adjective for this ent Garden to the Vaudeville Theatre marry him, regardless of her mother’s play is ‘feel-good’. People will leave to continue its run of Pat Gem’s Piaf, wishes, as long as his name is Ernest. with a smile on their faces, and if this thirty years after its birth by the RSC At this point the real thrust of the is a taster, it bodes well for the other in 1978. play kicks in, as a case of mistaken productions that Dramsoc has planned Lasting ninety minutes with an ab- identity ensues, with Algernon going for this year. sence of an interval, the play’s pace is to the country pretending to be Ernest, fast and was obviously written with the while Jack starts to spread the news Dramsoc’s Production of ‘The Im- assumption that audiences had a good that Ernest is dead. Algy (or Ernest) portance of Being Earnest’ has two idea of the content of Piaf’s life and soon meets and falls for Cecily, Jack’s more performances, Friday 24th and stardom. Details and characters about (or Ernest’s) impressionable young Saturday 25th of October. 7pm, Un- the singer’s life, which ebb and flow out ward, and wants to marry her. She is ion Concert Hall. of the story at a startling rate (border- as keen to marry him – as long as his ing on being rushed) were often easy name is really Ernest. To revive a well- Director: Kristen Farebrother to overlook as we struggled to keep worn theatrical cliche, hilarity ensues. Producer: Pietro Franchi abreast of developments and names. The well-rounded cast really get into Cast list: Further confusion was added as many their roles and it was obvious everyone John Worthing, J.P Gilead Amit of the actors adopted the role of several enjoyed putting the play on. Some of Algernon Moncrieff Ziggi the dialogue zings back and forth and Szafranski the cleverness of Wilde’s writing really Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax Fran comes to the fore. Buckland “The stunning The best lines of the play undoubtedly Cecily Cardew Lauren Waterman fall to Lady Bracknell (Rebecca Jones). Lady Bracknell Rebecca Jones talent of An example of this are the words to Miss Prism Robyn Jacobs her daughter: “when you do become Canon Chasuble Mark Manders Elena Roger engaged, I or your father, should his Lane, manservant Daniel Naujoks health permit, will inform you of the Merriman, butler Tiberiu Chis compacted into fact. An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or un- a feisty, female pleasant as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she should be allowed to fireball” arrange for herself.” There is much more in a similar vein – you could fill a book with the lines persons: was that her boyfriend/agent she utters - and indeed, Wilde has. from before or a new one?? The chop- Brilliantly made to embody all of the py transitions between scenes were social hypocrisies of the period, Lady executed cleanly, morphing seamlessly Bracknell is one of those towering between both moods and settings; characters that chews up the spotlight Piaf’s costume changes occurring on- whenever on stage (most memorably stage as the actors re-dressed her in played on screen by the late Dame and out of her trademark black dress, Edith Evans, and in the last screen ad- the sparrow’s diva streak letting it all aptation by Dame Judi Dench. If she ensue around her. wasn’t on stage for such a short time, The stunning talent of Elena Roger – the rest of the characters would live with all the potency of a large, orotund in her shadow, and the play picks up opera singer, compacted into a feisty, considerably when she bursts in for female fireball – is the raison d’etre the first time. Rebecca Jones’ perform- of the show. Her depiction of Piaf is ance is the most stylised in the play stunning, from the start as a loud- and the clipped tones that she speaks mouth, spitting, sluttish street urchin in make everyone in the audience feel and throughout the play as she rises It’s hard deciding whether to drink with sophistication from the glass or to throw restrain to the wind and chug from the bottle as chastised as one of Lady Bracknell’s to fame increasing in self-importance, subordinates. still maintaining streaks of her humble The other performances are good, origins and promiscuous ways, until the hair and make-up team who man- sexual chemistry between Rogers and pleased to see two taut, sculpted, shirt- ing applause it received. and a lightness of touch required for the end as the singer descends into aged to age Piaf very well with some Philip Browne, who took the part of less boxers fighting in the ring. The show is a real treat and those such a romp pervades the whole pro- frailty, unhappiness and alcoholism as convincing wigs. boxer Marcel Cerdan - the true love of Roger’s voice contains all the force who hate musicals need not worry: duction. Special mention must go to cancer consumes her. Lorraine Bruce as Piaf’s “partner Piaf’s life, was electric and stood out required to chill the audience in a simi- this is more of a play-cum-concert Gilead Amit who played Jack Wor- I had doubts about how French her in mischief”, Toine, gave a very funny despite a short scene between the two. lar way that Piaf would have done and with none of the abhorrent choreo- thing, who has the sometimes thank- accent sounded, thinking it was more performance helped no doubt by her Edith and Marlene Dietrich (played by retains the singer’s warbling vibrato graphed dance routines, group singing less task of being the straight man, Italian, but given Edith Piaf’s mixed bulky frame, boisterous mannerisms Katherine Kingsley) share an onstage sound which seals the play with the and ghastly scores which plague many permitting the farce to unfold around Italian and French heritage, it seemed and loud cockney accent albeit rather kiss which will go down well with any much loved and anticipated ‘Je ne Re- West End venues, only beautiful rendi- him, especially in relation to Jan Sza- fitting. A superb effort also came from odd given the Parisien setting. The heterosexual males and girls will be grette Rien’, which merited the stand- tions of Piaf’s music. franski (Algernon) whose performance Seconds after one of the shocking revelations made in Act 1 – Oscar Wilde was a homosexual! 22 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Arts [email protected] unionpage Warning - not for the faint-hearted Catherine Jones goes to the Olivier to see a merciless and gut-wrenching production of Oedipus

opphocles’ Oedipus, the an- he is adopted into a royal household in plague-like curse. Oedipus the King detective work. Dramatic shadows seems a very strange idea, but I think cient Greek masterpiece, is a another kingdom. As an adult, things comes to the aid of his subjects, setting and clever spotlighting added drama there may be some truth in this. Adam play charged with a powerful take a turn for the worse when Oedi- out on a mission to bring the murderer to the bleak and desolate stage. Sharply Philips, an eminent psychotherapist and emotional poignancy in pus kills an elderly man one night at of the dead monarch to justice. dressed in formal suits, a bald Ralph and author, puts this idea well in a re- Alex McGuiness’ adaption a crossroads. This man, unbeknownst Fiennes played an arrogant Oedipus, Fiennes did look every bit the lawyer cent interview in the Times ; “As boys at the Olivier theatre, Southbank. It is throwing his weight around as the au- when cross-examining Teiresias and growing up, most of us play this game theS story of ill-fated Oedipus’ frighten- tocratic leader. A good performance Creon. Perhaps the suits were a bit too of distancing our mothers and not let- ing process of realising he has killed “it is a play from Fiennes – as you would expect timely, evoking clichéd comparisons to ting them in, and inviting them in and his father, and bedded his mother. from an Oscar-nominated actor. My deflated Wall Street traders. being very needy”. Ralph Fiennes put on a terrific per- charged with only qualm was the pre-recorded howls A discussion of Oedipus is not com- To conclude, this is a very insight- formance, starring as the naive yet of Oedipus’s self-mutilating pain, losing plete without some kind of reference ful play, and an excellent production. exceptionally arrogant king. My last- a powerful authenticity when played from an off- If forced, I’d give it 8 stars out of 10. ing memory will be of the exquisite stage amplifier. As for the supporting Why only eight? It was difficult to anguish of the fallen Oedipus, fist and emotional roles, Jasper Britton’s Creon had boyish “I left the have the stamina for the intensity of clenched in mouth, then curled up foe- charm reminiscent of a young Jeremy the production. I left the auditorium tally as he struggles with the realisation poignancy” Clarkson. Claire Higgins’ Jocasta gave auditorium exhausted. I guess Freud might claim of his true identity. an interesting performance, highlight- it was the Oedipus complex at work in For the uninitiated, I’ll begin with a to Oedipus, was his father, the King of ing the sexual tension in their sicken- exhausted” my repressed subconscious. I think it brief synopsis of the plot. Oedipus’s Thebes. Oedipus, still unaware of his ing relationship and Teiresias, the old could have something to do with the Artists impressions of the new Student Activities Centre fate is predetermined at birth by Apol- true identity, solves the riddle of the blind prophet played by Alan Howard, to Freud. Freud suggested the Oedipus omission of an interval break. Hmmm. lo. The prophecy states he is destined Sphinx, winning the throne of Thebes had gravitas, with a slight Irish twang myth is poignant because it touches Maybe let’s just blame fate... to kill his father and bed his mother. As and the hand of the Queen, his bio- to his gravelly accent. Praise also goes on something darker in the human a consequence, Oedipus is abandoned logical mother. With this part of the out to an excellent chorus. psyche, the Oedipus complex, a sub- Union Building Redevelopment Update by his parents and left to die with his destiny fulfilled, the play begins with The staging was vaguely reminiscent conscious childhood dual desire for in- Oedipus runs until January 4th at ankles bound. Surviving this ordeal, the kingdom of Thebes beset with a of a courtroom, aptly framing Oedipus’ cest and patricide. On the surface this the Olivier theatre. Work is well underway on phase two Society use. The main Union Reception walls and brand new of the Beit Masterplan, the three phase will also be housed in this area providing changing rooms offering project to modernise and make better the fi rst point of call for all visitors to the a superb space for our use of the space in the Union Building, Union. The other half of the SAC will hold Clubs & Societies to use Beit Quadrangle. The fi rst phase saw The Advice Centre, providing a more throughout the year. the installation of a new Disability high profi le space for our independent, Discrimination Act (DDA) compliant lift impartial and free advice service. When So, where are we now as well as a new 2nd fl oor mezzanine the whole project is complete the space with all this work? level chair store, changing room shells below the SAC will be the new Union Our team of builders on the 2nd fl oor mezzanine and 3rd fl oor Offi ces where the Sabbaticals and staff have already made and access improvements from daVinci’s will work. It is hoped that by having the a good start to the to the Quad. people that run the Union closer to the new mezzanine level The Union Building before the additional fl oors were added heartbeat of the organisation, the Clubs on the second fl oor. The second phase will see the & Societies, it will help us stay more Work is also under way completion of the new mezzanine level member focused. providing services to the new fl oors The obvious aim of these works is to splitting what was the Union Gym in to including networking, electricity and make our Union Building much more two fl oors. The new fl oor created will The space freed up from where the old air conditioning. We are aiming to have inline with what our members, you the be the home of a new Student Activities SAC was will be used to create brand all the work fi nished by the end of the students, want and need from it. Having Centre (SAC) which will provide a larger new fully-equipped meeting rooms and Summer Term and will be completing been designed and built nearly 100 and better-designed space for all of Club & Society stores and in turn the these works in phases. We will keep you years ago, with additions made in the the Clubs & Societies to use as a base space where the old meeting rooms up-to-date with what is happening in 1950s, the demands on it have changed for their activities. Half of the SAC will were will be turned in to a state-of-the- Felix and on our website and hope that massively; something that will be be suspended from the ceiling with art dance and activity space. This fl oor any disruptions caused by these works addressed during this project. workstations and equipment for Club & will be fi tted with sprung fl oors, mirrored will be kept to a minimum.

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Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB imperialcollegeunion.org Tel: 020 7594 8060 Obviously this production of Oedipus contains zombies and is more gory than Saw V. Probably not as gory as Hostel, although nothing is likely to ever be. 24 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 25 Music [email protected] Music Music Editors – Peter Sinclair, Susan Yu & James Houghton [email protected] Music for your mind and music for your soul An album review duplex from opposite sides of the music spectrum: Jóhann Jóhannsson and Count Bass D

Kiley goes Koko... kind of there and they’re utterly gorgeous and very bleak, melancholic place. The sad- OK, technically Jenny Lewis, former front-femme of Rilo Kiley, but I couldn’t resist Album Review they sweep out a circular theme that ness continues with the organ requiem swells the piece into a thirteen minute- of ‘Chimaerica’, a track that becomes the alliteration. felix’s friend headed to Koko to check her out plus epic. These strings are joined by even more funereal as ever loudening, Emily Wilson brass and other orchestral elements electronic shuffling threatens to shat- Peter Sinclair along with skittering electronic per- ter the piece and throw it down a deep, Emily Wilson cussion and if Matthew Cooper eased dark abyss. Music Editor up on the synthetic arrangements, this It all sounds rather heavy, and the In the great Gwen Stefani/No Doubt Jóhann Jóhannsson is what Eluvium would probably sound fact that this is essentially a concept he history of cheese is tradition, Jenny Lewis has ditched her Fordlandia like. album means that the threat of preten- a long and tumultuous Rilo Kiley band mates in favour of go- 4ad Supposedly the second in a planned tiousness is always hidden behind the one. The first instances of ing solo. She has also, somewhat alarm- HHHHH trilogy based on the influence of tech- next ridiculously long track title (‘Me- cheese predate recorded ingly, ditched their indie rock style for nology and American brands (the first, lodia (Guidelines For A Propulsion history, and in our mod- something a little more country and ‘IBM 1401, A User’s Manual’, was a Device Based On Heim’s Quantum ern age there are literally thousands western. On her first album, Rabbit Jorga Costa eulogy to the computer of the same Theory)’, anyone?). Luckily, Jóhanns- Tof different varieties, ranging from Fur Coat, she was billed alongside The name), ‘Fordlandia’s organic heart pul- son largely lets the music do the talk- organically crafted French farmhouse Watson Twins but her latest effort, So Iceland’s financial situation has ap- sates with the aid of some very clever ing and all the press release guff about masterpieces to inorganically emulsi- Acid Tongue, is by her alone. I booked parently become so bad that the entire and subtle electronic processing. On doomed utopias, dead Greek gods and fied mass-produced Americanized to see Jenny Lewis live before I’d lis- nation was recently put up for auc- ‘Fordlandia – Aerial View’, a restrained crippled German physicists isn’t abso- Kraft squares. In English slang, the tened to Acid Tongue – a risky move tion on ebay.com with a starting bid of and despondent string quartet floats lutely necessary to know in order to word ‘cheesy’, although not etymologi- given I hadn’t been too impressed by only 99p (Björk, unfortunately, not in- above muted bass rumbles, an effect enjoy the beauty of these eleven tracks. cally related to the foodstuff, has come Rabbit Fur Coat – given that it would cluded). Though economic woes have Part of why it all works so well is down to be associated with the latter case – be the next best thing to seeing Rilo recently pushed the country into the to Jóhannsson’s restraint as a com- cheaply produced, homogenised, poor Kiley (who last year cancelled the gig I headlines, Iceland is of course much “a restrained poser and even as it sometimes sounds quality, unconvincing kitsch. had tickets for, damn them!). So I was more famous for its vibrant and ec- like an orphaned movie soundtrack, When the word is applied to mu- pleased by how impressive the new centric music scene. Múm, Valgeir and despondent he never succumbs to Hollywood sic, one of two things can be implied. album was and arrived at KOKO with Sigurðsson, Emiliana Torrini, Amiina, sentimentality, nor does he overuse The first is a kind of charming golden- much anticipation. Sigur Rós, The Sugarcubes – the list string quartet themes – something which marred the ageism; music which predates the age The support act Benji Hughes was goes on and on, making it seem like otherwise elegiac beauty of his debut of sociological cynicism, when Dion & pretty good as support acts go, if you’re every second person in this tiny nation floats above Englebörn. the Belmonts played out from the juke- into very hairy fat men with voices so is either a fisherman or a musician. Ex- From the quietly propulsive ‘Rocket box into a milkshake-drenched Happy deep the words slur into one. He also tending that list is composer and pro- muted bass Builder (Io Pan!)’, to the Howard Shore- Days scene. The second is a bastardisa- stumbled on to the stage a few times ducer Jóhann Jóhannsson, and while esque choral work on the ‘The Great tion of the first. It is applied to music during the main set for the occasional his music might be more classical and rumbles” God Pan Is Dead’, Fordlandia remains which is kitsch beyond the point of backing vocal contribution. The venue stately than that of those aforemen- intimate and absorbing. Jóhannsson good-taste, when the so-bad-it’s-good was filled to capacity even before Benji tioned artists, it is by no means any less has yet again succeeded in making an- mentality throws off the chains of sub- took to the stage, with an unexpectedly captivating. that’s akin to being buffeted by high other masterful record, one that opens tlety, only to realise that after the ironic high proportion of older music lovers. ‘Fordlandia’s title track starts the al- turbulent winds while making Ford- up and becomes richer the more you smiles and eye-rolling of the self-con- Later on, during the main set, I was bum on a note so gentle that it might landia (Henry Ford’s disastrous Ama- listen to it. I can only hope that dodgy sciously jaded are gone, all that’s left is bewildered to have two women easily take you a minute to realise the soft zonian rubber plantation – thank you economics won’t push him out of his gluttonous overindulgence. in their 60s push past to stand in front sighs of Jóhannsson’s strings, but they’re once again, Wikipedia), sound like one day job. Jóhannsson is known for spending 18 hours a day in photo booths In recent years, this second defini- of me. Old lady smell is not something tion has given identity to the quasi- you expect to experience going to a Jenny Lewis plays live somewhere. I don’t know where, but it’s not Koko. I don’t know when either. genre of ‘cheese music’, encompassing gig. I can only imagine that the older the charts music of one’s early youth crowd were keen country music fans in addition to particularly tasteless intrigued by new talent. context of KOKO, wearing a circus anybody else, with a black felt hat on I also didn’t think much of ‘Bad Man’s samples and beats - but his influences same level as the total structural de- keeps the sound so unique. and bizarre examples from the music Lewis herself succeeded in being master jacket and high-waisted dun- a long mane of messy hair she appar- World’, which was boring on CD and Album Review are all intentional. They come from composition of the post-rock kind, but All music with such an overt shun- of today. It has always been around in kooky enough to make sense in the garees that couldn’t have worked on ently hadn’t bothered to comb be- not much better in the flesh. the same places as where his passions certainly as close as hip-hop can get. J ning of contemporary sources risks nameless form, albeit subversively - a forehand. She managed to combine a Despite appearing as a solo artist, lie – gospel, funk, soul (his last.fm pro- Dilla also, whose name is mentioned in inaccessibility, and this album is no few chosen corkers being played at the laid-back dippiness with commanding this show would have been nothing file says he’s listened to Marvin Gaye’s virtually all discussions on contempo- exception, occasionally straying into end of a party, much to the dismay of stage presence, added to her indescrib- without the bunch of talented and im- Here My Dear 77 times). There are ele- rary hip hop, is definitely a source of abstraction and tracks which, for the the listeners, and much to the players’ able vocal talent. ments of classic jazz in the format of a inspiration also, him and CBD both regular listener (as opposed to the hip- amusement. It was the naming and On the whole most of the songs came lot of the songs which take a very re- favouring MPC cut-and-slice sampling hop connoisseur) can be confusing and classification of this ad-hoc group- from Acid Tongue, but early on a ren- Count Bass D laxed and liberal attitude to structure, techniques. The list of influences is somewhat unpalatable. I don’t think it’s ing which gave it a kind of social ac- dition of “The Charging Sky” revealed L7 favouring instead a kind of organic extensive, but it’s the way they are di- due to some cocaine-drenched overin- ceptance; admitting to ‘loving’ cheese that Rabbit Fur Coat was not to be ne- 1320 Records textural development, not quite on the gested and assimilated by CBD which dulgence on CBD’s part, it’s merely the music stopped being funny, and was glected, and did manage to improve HHHII inevitable consequence of stubborn- taken seriously. A falsehood, repeated the album in my eyes. The clear high- ness in the face of the predominate enough times, was eventually accepted light of the night was ‘The Next Mes- direction of the music industry. His as the truth. siah’, also arguably the best track on the Peter Sinclair opinions on the industry as a whole are Student nights in particular have new album. If I had to recommend just made clear on the track ‘Y.B.A Square’, been swept up by this changing of the one Jenny Lewis track, I’d tell you to “Out in the streets you won’t survive which features a vocal sample of some- musical guards. Being a demographic check out this one. It was spectacular with wack-ass beats.” So says the myth- comprised of such a diverse mix of ical MF Doom, close friend, confidant people whose tastes mirror this eclec- and multi-time collaborator of Dwight ticism means that we are not aligned “there was Farrell, AKA Count Bass D. With his “...not quite to any particular musical scene, and latest LP L7, CBD is less concerned the organisers of such events, in trying much audience- with survival than with evolution, his on the same to find a compromise, often settle for self-imposed isolation within the mu- the music which the majority will not muttered debate sic industry proving to be a continued level as the Count Bass D wearing a keyboard be offended or confused by. However, catalyst for a mental progression of hip- what has started as the safe decision as to the gender hop in a direction anti-parallel to the total structural seems to have become a tyranny of Jenny Lewis enjoys apples mainstream of the industry, and even album for some an attention grabbing, taste, whereby cheese is often the only of the drummer” orthogonal to the sub-genre of under- decomposition interesting, thought provoking listen- music which it is acceptable to play ground, ‘left-field’ hip-hop. Count Bass ing experience, but I think the point at student nights, including many of pressively flexible musicians appearing D is an anomaly - an individual, self of the post- will be all too easily missed by a lot of those hosted at Imperial College. live, and stunned me both with Jenny’s alongside Lewis. The same musicians contained musical entity. listeners. This situation has been the case for astounding voice and the also the back- appear on the Acid Tongue recordings, Protection of personal freedom rock kind, but I’ve had to bite the bullet of realism many years, and I have not written ing instruments. But also very very and include Lewis’s long-haired gui- seems to be the source of his isolation- and give this album three stars, but it anything about it until now because I good were ‘Jack Killed Mom’, which I tarist boyfriend Jonathan Rice. I noted ism and the theme of a lot of his lyrics. certainly as close doesn’t particularly do it justice, and have not had any hope that they could don’t see how anybody could listen to there was much audience-muttered de- Freedom from contractual obligations, it is not particularly accurate. For a lot change into something which could and resist the urge to tap a foot at the bate as to the gender of the drummer, freedom from hostile influence both in as hip-hop can of listeners this album will be worth be taken seriously. However with the very least, even though Jenny Lewis in later introduced as Barbara Gruska. his life and his music. This attitude gives a one, but a sizeable minority, myself recent makeover of Da Vinci’s into no way offers music that is very dance- It’s always a good sign when you go his music a distinctive flavour, which is get.” included, would give it four or five – something which looks like a pretty able. Also, ‘See Fernando’, which saw home and the music is even better to entirely of his own creation. This is not three is just the average. I personally cool place to be, it is not inconceivable Jenny up on top of her piano. One listen to than it was before. Overall, this to say his latest record is totally unin- found this a great release from one of for Imperial to have some genuinely song I was less impressed by live was is one of the best gigs I’ve been to this fluenced by other artists – there would one talking about its total corruption hip-hop’s few true innovators, and good events - all that is needed is for ‘Carpetbaggers’. On the album this is a year - Jenny Lewis managed to sway be no music if there were no musical and money-orientated direction, over would definitely recommend this to The Union to stop pretending to be so duet with Elvis Costello and one of my not only me, but a whole audience of influences, rap music in general being some laid back but complex sample- anyone wanting to know hip-hop’s full ironic and play some music that people favourite tracks, but without Costello people who arrived with a “would rath- particularly heavy in the throwbacks work. This sentiment is admirable, and potential as a creative, uncommercial- can genuinely enjoy. I want that dress and I want a matching quilt too being involved it wasn’t quite as good. er have seen Rilo Kiley” attitude. with its extensive use and reuse of Count Bass D surrounded by fucking musical equipment and shit it is precisely this which will make this ised genre. 26 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 27 Food [email protected] Food Food Editors – Afonso Campos & Rosie Grayburn [email protected] Daddy dearest, take me to... Oriental buffet disappoints ...the Prince Regent on Gloucester Road, it serves up top grub The Sandwich Shop is safe as the MDH’s new venture bombs quite dramatically

for just £5, we weren’t surprised to see for some reason) and prawn crack- a fair number of diners there, although ers, which can’t possibly go wrong. the size of the tables was overkill – on But what confused us was the bowl average only about three to four peo- of french fries next to the chow mein. Rosie Grayburn ple were sat on each ten-seater table. Fine, let it be a small element of the If anything, it felt like we were eating Chinese/fish-and-chips hybrid takea- Food Editor in a prison dining hall. It’s fair enough way shop. Further down the aisle they that they were trying to bring in the also served chicken wings in sweet soy was getting worried. It was Oc- layout of a typical Chinese restaurant, sauce; my childhood favourite. tober and the trees were still but anyone with common sense would Things started to look grim when green. Bloody global warming, I have used tables of different sizes – we moved on to the pool of chicken in thought. Thankfully, this week I preferably a combination of four and black bean sauce. Frankly what made was greeted by tree confetti eve- six-seaters. Another immediate let- it just slightly better than Paper Ti- rywhere! Yippee, my favourite season down was the fact that there were no ger’s (just down the road near the Tube Iof the year – Autumn. It’s that time chopsticks – instead they had pairs of station; NOT recommended) was the of the year when it’s so cold and dry lollipop sticks which you link together greater meat content. Our hope in- your cheeks start to go rosy, and you at the top. Even a Chinaman like me creased as we approached the spring Squashed Chicken Salad finally have an excuse for stuffing your struggled with those vessel-blocking rolls and the Thai fishcakes, only to be gob with warming soups, stews and blades, let alone students from the rest greatly disappointed. Even the takea- crumbles. of world. way shops know that spring rolls are Speaking of stuffing your face, have not made out of mushy vegetables any of you come across the “hot, new wrapped in deep fried socks. Seriously, Serves 2 rugby players or 3 ballet dancers chef” on the tellybox, Valentine Warn- “Our IC spring we really couldn’t find any fish in the Cost: Approximately £6 all together er? I have fallen in love with his toffish, so-called “salmon fishcake”. If Wether- This lovely autumnal salad has seasonal butternut squash in it. Al- spacky face. It’s refreshing to see some- rolls would spoon’s burgers (which are OK) could ternatively if you can be arsed peeling and scooping out a pumpkin, one getting stuck into piles of good, make Gordon Ramsay puke, our IC use that instead. I could eat this salad all day long. It’s so moreish hearty food – I got sick of watching probably put spring rolls, and fishcakes, could prob- and healthy too! It requires some store cupboard ingredients like bal- Nigella making eyes at the camera and ably put the great chef into a coma, and samic vinegar; which is useful to have around, just like emergency having an orgasm at every mouthful of Gordon Ramsay Jamie Oliver would actually murder importantly) was next to a radiator! off nicely. I do like ‘jus’ even if it is a lit- contraception. Remember, the tomatoes are good for your sperm, her creations. I’m sure by now all the Freshers would someone. The Prince Regent HHHHK The pub appeared to be inhabited by tle pretentious and all you northerners boys. Enjoy, my pretties! Anyway, I recommend you watch Imperial’s Oriental Buffet have figured out where to feed them- in a coma!” Luckily, the “restaurant” did provide business parties and groups of profes- are going to tell me it’s just gravy! Dad’s HKKKK 25 Gloucester Road Ingredients: some of his shows on the BBC iPlayer, selves within the campus: the Union, unlimited jasmine tea along with Chi- Phone: 020 7589 0905 sors, including a few of my own lectur- plate of livers, although very tasty, was if only for the comedy value of his pub- JCR, SCR (if you’re smart enough to be Having said that, it’s the food that nese teapots and cups, which my poor ers. This prompted a mortifying situa- rather on the diminutive side. But that 1 butternut squash, peeled, scooped and cubed MDH, www.theprinceregentglouces- lic school tones extolling the virtues a postgraduate) and the various depart- ultimately determines how long a res- friend and I consumed plenty of, to di- terroad.co.uk tion when you see a teacher outside of was fine as it meant he could finish off 1 pack of cherry tomatoes of shooting wild game. Rah-rah-rah. Sherfield Building mental cafés. But good golly – what the taurant can last for. We didn’t have lute the crap inside us. school, you just have to hide anywhere the huge sausages we couldn’t manage! 1 head of lettuce (it’s cheaper than those wanky bags of salad) I don’t know if the buffet is a perma- 2 chicken breasts, chopped (buy it from a butcher for super cheap- Brilliant. Best: Unlimited jasmine tea hell have they done to the Main Dining high expectations from a £5 buffet, Best: Tasty pudding and enor- you can! Oh the shame! After our mains, the nice blonde Unfortunately for my belly and arter- Hall? Last week, my friend and I found and my friends know that I’m picky nent catering service but, either way, mous sausages Not only was the menu as advertised waitress then informed us that the pana ness – supermarkets rip you off) Worst: The rest... 2 rashers of bacon, cut into bits ies, this week my boyfriend decided he Go for...: Somewhere complete- out about the brand new £5 “Orien- with food most of the time, but even do take our advice: save the fiver for a Worst: The price - a few pounds outside, but as it was between 12 and 3, cotta advertised on the set menu had wanted to turn from Physicist to Pas- ly different. Oriental Canteen or tal Buffet” there and having just got a regular ‘Chinese take-awayer’ would bonsai plant or a lucky bamboo plant more than the same food at the the lunchtime ‘2 courses for £10’ deal all been eaten. Instead we were offered 25g sunflower seeds try Chef and proceeded to run riot in Little Japan near the South Ken through our very first (and very bor- cringe at what our so-called catering instead – they won’t kill you. Queens Arms was also available. Dad opted for this, sticky toffee pudding; Dad’s face lit up! tube for similar oriental grub. Go for...: The 2 courses for £10 Dressing: the kitchen making pasties and tortes ing) lecture of the year we thought we team served. On a positive note, we seems like good value but the choosing chicken livers with bacon The pudding was sat in a sea of deli- left, right and centre! Consequently I Price: £5 deserved a mini feast, so we walked in. were welcomed by the familiar chow and rocket, whilst Mum and I picked cious butterscotch sauce and topped 1 tbsp each of honey, balsamic vinegar and mustard Richard Lai portions are a bit small. 2 tbsp water have included two relatively healthy, Considering it was all-you-can-eat mein (placed under a bright red light, Price: £9.50 for mains - some- the venison sausages with sweet potato with a very posh looking vanilla ice yet filling dinner recipes to ease my where to drag the parents to! mash and redcurrant jus. We had to cream. It was light and not too sweet. conscience. Please do give them a go. wait a little while for the food to arrive, A perfect end to the meal. Pre-heat your oven to 200°C. Put your cubed squash onto a baking I know it’s hard getting out of that hole but the dishes were freshly prepared The Prince Regent is definitely one of tray and bake in the oven. After 15 minutes add all the tomatoes to the of Chicken Tonight and frozen pies but I was going to review the Queens Arms in the open kitchen, from which we those places to take the parents when tray and put it all back in the oven for another 10 minutes. When the it’s a lot brighter outside. but alas, being so popular, my compan- could see sporadic bursts of flames they say “we’re coming up to London, tomatoes are in the oven, start cooking the meat. In a large pan, fry the This week in the Food section, I also ions (codenamed: Mum and Dad) and I appearing. let’s do lunch”. Although £10 for two chicken and bacon for 10 minutes. While that’s cooking, start piling the bring an alternative to the overpriced “Thou shall hev a fishy on a little dishy” couldn’t find a spare table and so head- The presentation was basic but effec- courses isn’t too pricey, it’s definitely salad leaves onto plates. When the bacon has coloured, add the sun- muck we have here at college. If you ed towards Gloucester Road in search tive. I don’t like all this faff that makes not student pricing. In addition, the flower seeds to the pan and stir it all together, so that the seeds pick up are lucky enough to have your parents of alternative gastropub-style nour- your plate look so huge that you can’t portion sizes on this deal are miniscule, a lovely salty flavour from the bacon. Check the chicken is cooked then buy your lunch, or if you happen to be Serves 2 fat bastards or 3 skinny cows ishment. We found ourselves outside manage it all. The bambi-meat sau- compared to the other main courses pile the meat mixture on top of the salad leaves. Keep the pan to one a member of staff, you may be able to Cost: Approximately £6 all together The Prince Regent and entered to find sages had an ideal texture and flavour: offered around the £10 mark. So if side – you’ll need it for the dressing. Take the veg out of the oven and afford lunch at one of the gastropubs in We should all eat more fish. This stew is the quickest, simplest and friendly, slightly over-eager, blonde not so rough that it feels like sawdust you are after a filling meal but aren’t pile that on top of the meat too. If you keep piling the salad will eventu- the surrounding area. tastiest way to cook it and it’ll keep you warm on these cold London staff desperate to show us to which in your mouth, but not so smooth that too fussed about how many courses it ally sag a bit, so you can get it all on. To make the warm dressing, put The ever-enthusiastic Lucy Harrold nights, like a big fishy hug in a bowl. Feel free to adapt the fish/cab- ever table we wanted. you know there isn’t much meat in comes in, just go for a large main. all the dressing ingredients into the pan used for the meat. Turn up the has battled her way through a plate of bage/veg combo as you see fit but please make sure your fish is MCS We finally opted for a nice, well- there. The sweet potato mash was light heat and boil for a few seconds. Then, pour over your salad. You have bambi-meat sausages for your delight, (Marine Conservation Standard) certified as it means they come from proportioned setting overlooking the and creamy and had the flavour of the before you a tower of salady, protein-y joy. Salads aren’t for fairies. reader. I like to think gastropubs aren’t sustainable habitats. A happy fish means a happy stew. If you’re not very pretty mews behind which (more redcurrant jus which finished the plate Lucy Harrold the evil, corporate whorehouses that sure, ask the nice man on the Sainsburys/Asda fish counter. we often mistake them for. They are purely trying to put local, hearty, fresh- Ingredients: ly-cooked meals in front of you… for a 1 tbsp oil slightly elevated price, sure. If I had the 1 onion, chopped money, I would love to eat there more 1 leek, sliced often but you can cook about the same 2 garlic cloves, crushed thing for less than half the price and 1tsp cumin double the effort at home. Such is life! 1 tsp paprika (add more if you like it hot) If you do decide you can’t be arsed 100g squid rings or other seafood (optional) stretching your legs to find a decently- 1x 400g tin tomatoes priced lunch outside college, why not ½ a tin of chickpeas (use the rest for hummous!) try the Chinese Buffet in the MDH? ½ savoy cabbage or 1 head of pak choi with the leaves removed To help you make your mind up, read A large white fish fillet (350g) cut in half for a 2 person serving Richard Lai’s critique on the college’s Lemon wedges, parsley and chunky bread to serve latest venture. From reading Richard’s your gateway to life at Imperial take on the buffet, I despair further Fry the onion, leek and garlic in oil on medium heat until transparent. My Imperial about the quality of food at IC. Is a Add your seafood, spices and chickpeas. Turn up the heat and cook plate of tasty, filling, wholesome food for 2 minutes with stirring. Tip in the tin of tomatoes then fill the empty too much to ask? If the college cares so tin half full with water and put that in too! Bring to the boil then taste much about our welfare, why not start the mixture. Add seasoning appropriately. Stir in the cabbage or pak .Z
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BQQMJDBUJPOT question of nutritious, cheap food? will allow the steam from the stew to cook the fish so make sure the And don’t get me started on the ques- lid fits snugly. Steam for 8-10 minutes. To check the fish is cooked the tion of water. Imperial College is like a flesh should flake away easily from the skin. Dish up into bowls or deep fucking desert when it comes to pota- Spicy Fish Stew plates and serve sprinkled with parsley and with a squeeze of lemon... ble H2O. Answers on a postcard. my imperial felix banner ad.indd 1 10/9/08 21:11:39 28 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 29 Film [email protected] Film Film Editors – Zuzanna Blaszczak and Jonathan Dakin [email protected] Films we love at Imperial Intelligence is Imperial College students, lecturers and staff share their The battle of minds treasured movies with felix. This week: Howl’s Moving Castle Director Ron Howard proves that politics has something of a Relative Emma Stokes yes, I love it! ner beauty, and self-esteem. All of this, boxing match in it, in the adaptation of Peter Morgan’s play Student ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’ has a very un- however, is done without being childish chance upon a CIA agent’s memoirs in usual (for anime) mix of European and or clichéd, which can happen so easily Burn after reading HHHHK the ladies’ locker room, and believing it It’s pretty difficult to choose a favourite Japanese styles due to the British novel in movies these days. Instead, it draws I was also visibly deflated. Had I just Watergate, the affair that is responsi- Frost/Nixon HHHHK Directors: Ethan & Joel Coen to be ‘real high-up intelligent spy stuff’ film - what makes one film stand out it is based on; think a quaint Austrian you in and is so human, feels so true to spent 11 quid to sit through a two ble for the ‘-gate’ ending given to every Writers: Ethan & Joel Coen they quickly get themselves whisked from the rest and warrant being cham- town and steam trains with Miyazaki’s life, that even the most cynical person Director: Ron Howard hour long opinion-forming, propa- political scandal ever since 1972 and Cast: John Malkovich, into a world of secrecy, Russians, brib- pioned? For me, it’s the feeling I get distinct styling. I find the attention to (me) will be utterly convinced, despite Writer: Peter Morgan gandist semi-documentary? Despite the reason for the first and (so far) last Tilda Swinton, ery and disappearing bodies. when I watch it – it’s the film I put on detail and character animation in the the film not having a particulary strong Cast: Frank Langella, that, I started scouring my brain for time an American president resigned George Clooney, John Malkovich is superb as a when I need cheering up, or to regain film extraordinary - the castle alone is storyline. Plus, and more importantly, Micheal Sheen, the keyword ‘Nixon’. Success! I found his position. Brad Pitt grouchy old agent who ‘doesn’t have a my faith in humanity! My favourite breathtaking. Every frame would stand it gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling Kevin Bacon an entry in my brain’s version of the Instead of focusing on rehashing the drinking problem!’ and finds himself film is ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. alone as a true work of art, showing that we all secretly love. Internet Movie Database. Nixon, Wa- drama and excitement of the immedi- unwillingly mixed up in the plot-line For those of you who have never traditional animation is anything but a tergate, Redford and, aha, All The ate aftermath of the affair, the movie Priya Garg which revolves peculiarly around his heard of it before, ‘Howl’s Moving thing of the past. Zuzanna Blaszczak President’s Men - that’s what my centres on a series of four interviews relationship and concurrent divorce Castle’, or ‘Hauru No Ugoku Shiro’, is In my opinion, anime is best watched If there’s a film you just can’t Film Editor knowlege of the Watergate affair with Tricky Dicky (Nixon’s nickname So when I went to see this movie, I had with his ‘cold, stuck-up bitch’ of a wife, a Japanese anime film directed by the in Japanese (with English subtitles) - stop talking about, a movie came down to - a Hollywood block- while in office) which were created absolutely no expectations. All we gar- impeccably delivered by Tilda Swin- legend of the anime world, Hayao Mi- the language it’s created in. However, that inspires you, a feature that Just before entering the cinema to buster from the 70s when con- and conducted by an English TV nered from the trailers was ‘wham’ lots ton. George Clooney is brilliant as the yazaki. The story is set in a magical in this case, I would recommend the changed your life or one that is see the newest Ron Howard feature spiracy theory was ‘cool’. And here presenter David Frost a few months of famous actors are in it, ‘wham’ it’s paranoid womanising character Harry, land and tells a heartwarming and up- English dubbing, as the film benefits your only remedy for a miser- Frost/Nixon, someone asked me comes my first surprise: you will not after the frenzy died down. In order funny and ‘wham’ it’s a Coen Brother’s who dips in and out of all the charac- lifting fairy tale. from the gorgeous Christian Bale as able day, we would love you to whether I was interested in American learn any more about that extremely to find his way back to the American film. Which is essentially, all it really ters’ lives with no real purpose, and To give you just a taste: there’s a cas- Howl, screen legend Lauren Bacall as write about it and have the guts politics and if I’d seen the original embarrassing moment in American TV scene Frost came up with the idea is. the expressions he provides, trust me, tle which can be in four places at once; old Sophie and Billy Crystal, who is hi- to share it with the rest of Impe- Nixon interviews conducted by Frost. democracy from this movie, even of interviewing the ex-president who The style of this film is slick, witty are priceless. This film centres on the there’s Sophie, a young girl transformed larious as a fire demon. rial, just like Emma. As I met the aforementioned person though it’s structured like a historical had yet to confess to being part of and irreverent. The plot-line itself is confusion created by nothing leading into an old woman by an evil witch; Underlying the main story, as with barely a minute beforehand, I decided documentary. Watergate. almost devoid of true end-point mate- to a lot of something. I don’t want to there’s Howl, an extremely handsome, every Miyazaki movie, is an impor- Send a few hundred words it would be foolish to confess that I The director assumes that Ameri- The movie hinges on these two rial, but the real genius is in the comic give any more away, as the surprises but very vain wizard, as well as many tant message. In this case, it is a very about the film you love to: am utterly ignorant about history: can political history is part of the core wonderfully complex characters for acting and the delivery. are just so perfect. I would thoroughly more imaginative yet surprisingly hu- strong anti-war message, along with [email protected] politics in particular. curriculum in every nation’s educa- whom the outcome of the interviews Francis McDormand plays ‘Linda recommend you get yourself down to man characters. Classic escapism, and undercurrents of the power of love, in- That’s the strangest castle I’ve ever seen. Where’s the moat? To keep my pride intact I made up tion system and hence does not waste becomes a matter of winning or fail- Litzke’ a lonely, hapless and some- see this - for a comedy that is like no some excuse, saying that I tried to see valuable film reel to go into any detail ing at life. Nixon saw the interviews what ageing gym employee who is on other. It’s not a rom-com, chick-flick, films with a completely open mind, about the political espionage, illegal as an unmissable opportunity to re- a desperate quest for plastic surgery. it’s a laugh-out-loud cleverly made lit- without previous prejudices and pre- break-ins, tax and campaign frauds gain the respect he craved. Armed Teamed with the hilarious and mo- tle film that will hold your attention for conceptions and other such hogwash. and secret hush funds that make up with his ex-chief of staff Jack Brennan ronic Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) they the 96 minutes and longer. (Kevin Bacon) and a group of bibli- ographers and PR sharks he prepares Raw to the core – Gomorrah Coming soon: himself to convince Americans that his presidency was a success. By the music from their mobile phones, nor and the despicable Boxer and Pitbull, Gomorrah HHHHK end of the story, Frost finds that he do they have huge ugly dogs to make two teenagers who aspire to be like Mark Wahlberg as Max Payne has put everything he has - money, them look ‘hard’. their hero Scarface and kill as many Director: Matteo Garrone Jonathan Dakin career, reputation - on the line and Writers: Various The youths in this film kill each other people as they can. he realizes that the only way he can Cast: Salvatore Abruzzese, for a living, deal drugs and help dump As this is a slow-burning drama, it is come out successful is if he prevents Simone Sacchettino, toxic waste for Mafia crime lords as hard to actually explain a specific plot For those of you who are fans of Bat- Nixon from redeeming himslef dur- Salvatore Ruocco, part of their normal lives. And if you thread as there are so many, but all of man Begins and the Resident Evil tril- ing the interviews. What follows is Vincenzo Fabricino want to be a part of the gang, all you them are portrayed in such a realis- ogy, this is a film to watch out for, as it a truly gripping encounter, a box- have to do is prove yourself as a man: tic and terrifying way that you will be is already causing a stir in film fanatic ing match where rethoric replaces by being shot while wearing a bul- compelled to stay in your seat until the circles. “Why?” you may ask. punches, psychological games replace Jonathan Dakin let-proof vest. Although this sounds explosive conclusion. Well, not only is Mark Wahlberg the footwork and thorough research Film Editor shocking, and pretty average fare for a The cast and director are just a few starring in this computer game adap- of the subject replaces powerful left normal gangster film, it makes the film of the reasons why Gomorrah is good tation as the title character, a vengeful and right knock-out hooks. Most people take for granted the fact all the more disturbing to watch when on so many different levels, as it also policeman searching for retribution Joining the rest of the audience that they live in the ‘developed’ world, you know it is real. raises a myriad of profound issues in- against those responsible for the death in the applause at the end, the lit- a place where modern medicine, Based on a true story written by Rob- cluding identity, poverty, and most of his wife and child, but the cast also tle eloquence I possess disappeared plumbing and central heating are seen erto Saviano, Gomorrah begins with an importantly, how people can live this includes Mila Kunis – who some may completely and all I was left with as a basic human right. But as Gomor- unexpected and jaw-dropping opening, lifestyle on a day-to-day basis and con- recognise as Jackie in ‘That 70’s Show’ was a very surprised ‘wow’. Can rah shows, Italy, a ‘developed’ country, setting up a film that you know will be sider it ‘normal’. – as a sexy assassin who aids him in his A gentlemanly handshake or an intricate psychological act? politics really be this interesting? It’s nice to see actors having fun the old-fashioned way. which is classified as one of the ‘Big completely unpredictable for the en- This is edge-of-your-seat stuff that quest, as well as rapper Ludacris and Five’ nations of Europe (along with tire journey, forcing undue tension in is not for the faint of heart. It is, how- new Bond girl Olga Kurylenko. us), proves that aspects of the ‘devel- the audience that stays with you for the ever, highly recommended for all those Include stylish directing, an action- oping’ world, such as complete poverty duration of the film’s 137 minutes. who consider themselves to be ‘film packed plot and a whole lot of guns, and dog-eat-dog violence, can be a lot The plot of gangland murders and buffs’, as this is a well-crafted piece of gore and girls – what more could you closer to home. drug deals is told through the eyes of cinema. ask for? Mark Wahlberg looks hot. A beginner’s guide to the cinema brought to you by the Film Cynic Clinic Gomorrah tells the story of two ri- several different characters, chopping Gomorrah is a film that combines val gangs living in and around a rough and changing abruptly as it jumps from strong performances with raw realism. Stuart Higgins ticket, have received the appropriate ing it. someone carefully tear a stack of tick- ethrowers, there’s a chance to relax. council estate in Naples, Italy. But one life to another. The protagonists Mix this together with the fact that you stamp from the cashier, have arrived Never mind, there can’t be that many ets in half, tell you which screen to go So sit back and enjoy the half hour of these gangs are not how we would view with whom we ‘hang around’ vary know it all really happened, and you’re This week we look at what could be between 3.00-3.05pm and are over 65. other opportunities to spend your hard to, whilst simultaneously texting their adverts, however tempting they might them. These young men do not sit at from the likeable Toto, a young boy left with a film that will haunt you for Competition considered quite simply the most im- This inevitably lulls the majority of us earned cash (or perhaps a not-so hard mates. However you’re nearly there. be, because after the adventure of get- the back of a bus in hoodies and blare who works in a shop for his mother, days after watching it. portant part of any film experience. It into not bothering, upon the simple earned student loan) before settling Once you’ve stumbled up the poorly-lit ting here, you haven’t got money left to is of course the cinema, and this article and reasonable excuse that life, quite down to see the film. However as the steps and found a seat that’s far enough spend on them anyway. This week we have three DVD cop- Send your answer to film.felix@ will attempt to examine the delicate frankly, is too short. sickly sweet scent of despair wafts over away from the couple snogging noisily ies of Asylum to give away. imperial.ac.uk before 29th Octo- interplay of this ancient popcorn- Assuming that you’ve managed to from the food counter you can’t help at the back and those kids in the corner Comments? Asylum is a terrifying tale of a ber. Winners will be announced in stenched establishment and the films find a parking space, far enough away but glance at its preservative, conserv- who seem to be using aerosols in flam- Send to: [email protected] group of undergraduate university next weeks edition! we see within it. Nowadays with the from those kids who seem to be using ative, E-number-rammed goodness. A students discovering that their dor- plethora of methods for distributing aerosols as flamethrowers, the next cinema is one of those few places where mitory was formerly an experimen- and viewing movies, of which 98% are shock is inside. As you glance over the you can successfully exceed the daily tal mental health institution, which illegal, it’s important to take a senti- red information displays, which alter- recommended allowance of salt and fat soon reawakens their own buried mental look back on the institute that nate faster than strobe lighting, you’ll four times over with just one hotdog. personal traumas. started it all. come across the small sticker by the Similarly the pick and mix counter is This disturbing horror film will Thanks to market forces, most cin- ticket desk listing the prices. That can’t perhaps one of the more fun elements be just the thing to watch from be- emas now reside on the outskirts be right! It must be a typo – someone of confectionary purchasing, but it’s hind the sofa while ignoring Trick of towns alongside other quality es- must have put the decimal point in the worth bearing in mind that in the cur- or Treaters on Halloween night. tablishments such as bowling alleys, wrong place! Oh no, they haven’t. It’s a rent economic climate, it’s cheaper per If you would like to win Asylum fast food outlets, and drug dens. For shame that you can’t barter nowadays. gram to buy gold bullion than a hand- just in time for Halloween, then all those lucky enough to find some- If you could, then there’d be the chance ful of jelly beans. you have to do is answer the follow- where vaguely near habitation, your to offset some of the ticket price by Ladled down with popcorn and coke, ing question: first experience will be the £2+ park- part-exchanging the car you arrived in. both of which seem to be sold by the ing charge for daring to park nearby. But it’s okay if you haven’t brought that tonne, you can eventually struggle What is the name of the se- © 2007 Mad Scientist Inc. All Rights Some hospitable multiplexes will re- briefcase full of cash with you. There’s past the attendant into the bowels of rial killer in the Halloween Reserved fund the cost of parking, provided that always a cashpoint nearby, complete the building itself. There is something movies? Prizes courtesy of Entertainment in Video you retain your ticket stub, car parking with a minimum £1.50 charge for us- strangely enthralling about watching Stealing guns from the Mafia can make you do strange things, like forgetting to put your clothes on. 30 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Nightlife Act. Normal. Nightlife Editor – Catherine Jones (CJ) [email protected] (they won’t suspect a thing) COLIN MURRAY “What’s the Matter with you, eh?” Nightlife Editor CJ, puts the new multi-million pound nightclub at the O2 comes under the spotlight

istic sci-fi film. Photography by Lucy Sterne Matter The main room is very impressive HHHHK both architecturally and technically. The sound quality was excellent, with ‘This is Not London’ presents stunning visual projections on either Moshi Moshi Records’ 10th side of the stage. Those avoiding the Birthday Party. A new rave indie disco. Dance to D.I.Y disco. Indie downstairs can congregate around electro punk rock, Old Skool, Hip Hop with a kick the upper floor balconies, still with back of Grime plus a fl avour of 80s and 90s retro pop. Best: Hot Chip an excellent view of the stage. If your Worst: Travel issues stomach is strong enough, the best Go for...: The impressive head- views in the house are on the precari- line acts. ous-looking Indiana Jones style bridge, Price: £17.50 suspended 50m above the dance floor. Friday 31 October (This is prime pulling territory). Overall, the phrase “total design” ecently built in what was springs to mind. The sheer care taken once the Millennium Dome over design is evident, using innova- 20:00 - 02:00 in London’s Docklands, tive technology to enhance the dance Matter is a huge 2,600 floor. The idea is, by pumping out capacity venue. Brought certain bass frequencies to your feet to you by the co-creators of Fabric, it through speakers embedded in the Friday 24 October Rhosts mixed gig and club nights, lur- dance floor, you feel a stronger urge to ing club-goers out of central London dance, as your brain’s perception in- 20:00-02:00 with massive headline acts, such as the volves processing vibrational informa- mighty Hot Chip. Matter is a bit of an tion too . out-of-town club superstore. Also worth a mention are the gen- Much hyped, judging by the Fresh- erous bar and toilet facilities. The bars er’s week leaflet campaign, the club and the bar staff were so numerous, you launched on September 18th, start- could just nonchalantly stroll over and ing with a series of mixed indie/dance order a drink at your leisure. Drinks nights, all falling under the ironic title were reasonably priced. £4 for a spirit of “This is Not London”. Previous at- and mixer is not too outrageous. The best value tendees range from dance favourites, The catch; getting there was by no Simian Mobile Disco and Armand Van means straightforward. Tedious would Helden, to indie’s Reverend and the be a polite description. Makers and Mystery Jets. With the tube shut for engineering Wednesday night in town! Last Saturday, Matter hosted Moshi work, we chose to travel the fabulous Moshi Records’ 10th birthday party. way, taking the special Thames Clipper Moshi Moshi Records are a London- services to the O2. Or so we thought, based indie label, with a large array of forgetting that in London you can nev- talent, including Bloc Party, on their er rely on public transport. Imagine books. The party featured a strong line our dismay on arriving at the pier, on up; Hot Chip, Kate Nash, and Florence time, as planned, only to find the only Photography by Lucy Sterne and the Machine, amongst others. boat in the vicinity was a party boat. It was a successful night overall, at- Karaoke was in full swing, trashed tral London, this was about as exciting tracting a hip indie crowd. Headliners party guests singing along to the Dirty as walking through a supermarket car Hot Chip played a storming live set, Dancing soundtrack. After much con- park on a Sunday afternoon. (Which the fantastic sound system doing jus- fusion, and time wasted, Waterloo pier reminds me; there’s not a single late tice to their talented percussion sec- prevailed. The Thames clipper journey night food vendor! ) Every Wednesday Night at the Union tion. A moshing/dancing combination was beautiful, as you might expect, My verdict: besides Hot Chips’ was evident on the packed dance floor. and worth a trip in its own right. As a storming percussive set in the main 20:00 - 01:00 Elsewhere, James Yulli was a particular transport form though, it’s too extrava- room, I did not really take to Matter. favourite in Room Two. gant at £5/£6 each way (Oyster is not Yes, it was clearly purpose-built, but it Matter, on first impressions, seemed accepted). felt too clinical and humourless. Mat- stark, sleek and kind-of-cool. Propor- The most disappointing aspect of ter is definitely not a place to go for tioned on an industrial scale, Matter the evening: the cold, quiet 15 minute those who like nightclubs small and looks very much like a warehouse. The walk to the club entrance from the quirky. Like an out-of-town superstore, interiors: smooth concrete, lit dramati- pier. Perhaps it’d been to take the tube it produces the goods with a top qual- cally with coloured neon light. It has a to Greenwich North. Compared with ity line up, but it could do with more cinematic quality, evocative of a futur- the buzz of people and sound in cen- charm. only Photography by Lucy Sterne Photography by Lucy Sterne £1.50 a pint!

imperialcollegeunion.org/ents

Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB The Union encourages responsible drinking. R.O.A.R. Student I.D. Required.

“This is not London” continues this weekend, with Justice on Saturday night. Advance tickets have sold out, but if you want to risk the journey, 300 tickets are available on the door. 32 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 333 Fashion Technology Fashion Editor – Daniel Wan [email protected] Technology Editor – Ravi Pall [email protected]

Headlines we A­–List on the cheap Automatic backup with Mozy couldn’t fit in Victoria Masding discusses the celebrity-highstreet culture SICK Marc Kerstein tells us how the online backup service, Mozy, saved his e-life am a sucker for supply and clever, and not without a glimmer of ith hardware get- Apple releases Daniel Wan demand. If something is in truth with designer John Galliano and ting smaller, and short supply or limited edi- model Erin O’Connor among the Col- hard disk storage new MacBook & Fashion Editor tion, damn it, I want it! That’s lege’s Alumni. These pieces could have getting bigger, we why I end up putting massive been designed by the big names of to- continuously hear MacBook Pro’s eople have been complain- maximum bids on Ebay, then hoping morrow and as such this was the key horror stories of notebook fires and ing I sound scarily angry in no-one pushes up the price on that ‘too focus of this endeavour. Woverheating. anything I write for felix. cool’I jacket; but that is not my point. Mainstream designer collaborations Sure, this is quite a rare scenario. I think it’s justified, others Recently, you have probably noticed like the Victor & Rolf and Stella McCa- However, my worry-o-meter increas- think it’s unnecessary and lots of clothing chains have started rtney for H&M lines were also success- es along with the noise level of my WiiFit outsells crass. Writing as a way of venting feel- to introduce quick turnover capsule ful, as well as their smaller Madonna- Macbook Pro’s fans, and the redness GTA IV Pings is actually a really liberating meth- collections, often fronted or even ‘de- fronted range. Rolled-up jeans of the skin on my lap. But the fire od. Whether it holds the attention of signed’ by celebrities. Even though I I guess the heavyweight of celeb- Its getting colder, so this is could be caused from anywhere in hundreds of people is another matter. know I am being manipulated, it’s not rity fashion collections would be Kate probably the opposite of what the house. It might not even be a fire, I mean, if you’ve managed to get this all bad. Moss for Topshop. Again, the design you want to be doing; but but any form of disaster, and my data, far down my editorial column, I must Uniqlo, for example, teamed up with quality is good – in part due to ripping being practical is for losers along with all copies of backups will Sidesight project- be doing something right. On the sub- Logan Power Graphixx and The Ku- off her existing wardrobe, but you can- who turn up the heating in be destroyed. ject of getting things right, I’d just like sano Design Office to produce a range not argue with the phenomenal success their room to simulate Level How can I prevent my paranoia? I multi - touch to state, and in no detriment to any of unique limited edition T’s to be sold of her range. The pictures of devotion 7 Dungeon environment. Roll could use my 1 TB Terastation more other member of the felix team, that in their NYC flagship store. Of course, on the faces of hundreds of eager shop- up your jeans, anywhere up often, or find some automatic soft- beyond the screen certain erroneous details in my com- this worked out for the guys at Uniqlo; pers outside Topshop Oxford Street at to just below your knees, and ware to backup my file changes on ment article about London transport the T-shirts were a sell out. It appeared the launch were almost biblical! She watch your ankles go blue. regular intervals. But I lack physical in last week’s issue, were simply not my the allure for consumers was not sim- has since become a seemingly perma- protection on local disaster. fault. But that’s all I’m going to say on ply the limited stock, but also the de- nent fixture of the Topshop brand. I could promise to burn a monthly Google open that matter. The situation has a similar sign talent behind the T’s. Definitely a It is not all good news, however. If DVD, and send it to a friend’s house. ring to when The Times Food Editor, hit. you’ve seen any recent magazines you Topshop meet Kate, Kate meet Here, I lack security of data, and risk sources Android Giles Coren, wrote a horrific rant to his Another hit earlier this summer was will know that Peaches (Geldof) is a three million pounds being lazy and forgetting. The list own sub-editors because they edited a when online fashion megastore asos. Topshop whore – she clearly wants goes on. And sure, security is no big project single letter from his last line. I’m not com teamed up with graduate students what Kate Moss has. Sadly for Peaches issue when using software such as that pedantic and shall not be follow- from The London College of Fashion her younger, more attractive sibling, difference. Nor was I a fan of the Lily Truecrypt, but this is another step ing Coren’s lead. However even if no and launched the ASOS LTD 100 Col- Pixie, has scored the deal with New Allen/New Look combo. I struggle to between me and regular backups. Solid Alliance puts one cares or spotted the mistakes, I lection. An online frenzy ensued thanks Look. Not that I am particularly im- see the relevance of this pair in connec- In an ideal world, I would have a need to clarify the situation for, if for to well planned publicity during Grad- pressed. I think the correct term to tion to clothes designing. I don’t like free, “infinite” storage, earthquake- 2GB pen drive in no one else, myself. uate Fashion Week and celebrities like describe my reaction would be that the ‘any-celeb-to-boost-sales’ pattern. proof underground-bunker, which I Laptop broken. What will you do now? Oh wait! Mozy saves the day. Laptop still broken though. For the first time this year I’ve decid- model Agyness Deyn showcasing the I ‘scoffed’ when I heard the news. I It’s the Mary Kate and Ashley theory. could make regular and encrypted finger ring ed to bring back the Cool/Lame Wall, best garments. Most items sold out in prefer the Gilmore Girls to the Gel- They could offer your own shit to you Nike Hi-Tops backups to with software which regu- but it has been rebranded for no other minutes, each design perfectly unique dof girls. Pixie’s collection seems to be with a sticker of their faces on it and we I wasn’t ever too sure about larly looks for file changes and backs what it promises. master in seconds. One thing I am yet to understand reason than it was sounding too much in existence. Convincing people their standard ‘rebel teen’ fare, uninspiring would buy! We’re clearly doomed to be these. A little Chav and a bit up on computer inactivity. I have used it since Mozy was in There was a point where I had to about Mozy’s software, is the differ- like we were ripping off Top Gear, and clothing purchase is an investment is whilst filling me with smouldering in- consumer clones! Fuck it – bring it on! Nu-rave. The News Editor, Unfortunately, we are not in an ideal beta, and have always been satisfied. stop using Mozy when switching to ence between their personal software Production of we all know the shirt, jeans and blazer oddly enough, has convinced world. There is a small choice of two Backup up settings, firefox bookmarks my Mac. There was no alternative (Mozy Home) and their business so- combination Jeremy Clarkson wears me otherwise. Get the right configurations for the ideal world: and essential work-related documents available, and I really loved Mozy’s lution (Mozy Pro). Mozy Pro is more Intel’s Clarksfield every week is an anti-inspiration (if one colour, but don’t dress too in- The storage is as above, but not free. made my free 2 GB storage limit feel solution. My prayers (and emails) have server orientated, but does not of- can even exist) to anyone in fashion. your-face, otherwise you’ll just The storage is not infinite. been answered recently when Mozy fer too much more, and in fact, does to begin this year Hence, I present to you the Sick/ be another pretentious prick. My worry about the first, is miss- announced their Mac version, which NOT supply infinite storage. Unless Shit Wall. Now looking at it, the wall And we don’t need more of ing a payment. Being a student, I feel “There is not a is equally excellent and unobtrusive. the extra features are needed, I rec- is rather ankle-or-below-based. I don’t Shopping locally in the SWs them at Imperial. Plus, Nike very likely to miss one of my monthly I forget it even runs and backs up my ommend Mozy Home for now. Editor finds old have a weird foot fetish as you might have some new sweet varia- payments, and therefore will lose my single bad thing data whilst I deal with my leg burns. I would begin this paragraph by say- think. This week’s wall has been espe- What has Swiri Konje’s boutique-spotting yielded this week? tions on these out. backup data. A personal choice would Is 2 GB too small? Not a problem. ing “Overall,” but there is no need to. Atari 2600. cially assembled with the inspiration of be to have the limited space, but with to say about You can easily upgrade your account Mozy is truly a great piece of software, the other editors in the felix office. I’m all the data protection and services as to a Mozy Home account, giving in- and I am unable to say one bad thing Is extremely happy not lazy, I’m just all up for team partici- Anonymous by Ross & Bute. It’s a listed. Mozy... not one” finite storage for $4.95 / month. Or, about it. I am not saying that Mozy is pation. That’s the official line anyway. designer boutique on King’s Road There are numerous solutions, such you could take my method, and use great “overall”, but completely. Our main article this week addresses as Microsoft’s Sky Drive, XDrive, referrals. Four referrals give an extra This unobtrusive application runs in the issue of celebrity capsule collec- next to the famous Bluebird Café. At cron jobs, etc. One really caught my more than satisfactory. Mozy’s back- gigabyte of storage, and gives each your Windows XP/Vista system tray, World cup 2010 - tions that have invaded the highstreet London Fashion Week their amazing eye since it was in beta, and that was up sets are very intelligent and easy to person who uses the referral code to or if you are using the (better) Mac OS London may view in recent years. Kate Moss has some display of dresses was a treat for my Mozy. Mozy’s award-winning backup use, something anyone who has had sign up their share of the same space, X, it will run in your menu bar. Even credibility in her launch of her Top- software promises “insurance for experience with iTunes’ smart play and therefore both benefit from the with it installed, try not to spill that shop range, whilst Pixie Geldof and the sore eyes. Watch out for their spring your data”, and it definitely delivers lists or similar and/or statements can Mozy referral system. pint. Waste of beer. action in HD like have none. They don’t have any real collection but in the meantime, their license to launch anything other than a valid career which isn’t leeching off autumn winter dresses are just the PES outsells their name. I’m waiting for the launch thing to go for. Sandals of a male celebrity collection. I laugh at Many women have this thing FIFA 09 in weekly the thought of someone like Pete Do- Mixing style with comfort and putting your figure in the best style possible is just what you want – they wear sandals to ‘fancy’ herty selling replica garments through at this time of year. Were I deep in the pockets, this will be my number one shop, so if you are, events. They do this regard- Google Android. The iPhone Killer? games chart Topman, featuring his signature skag- less of the time of year or induced-soilage marks. To treat you why don’t you make it yours? amount of expected precipi- Ravi Pall Google Android platform. ation. Very few high-heeled Technology Editor lucky fashionistas, we’re introducing Of course if you want to spend that huge amount of money on a perfect birthday dress, or those Unlike the iPhone, Android is only another new feature which follows on sandals suit women without the operating software. Designed by BT launch free from the Freshers’ guide to local shop- amazing set of heels which you will wear only twice a year, then for the love of Satan splurge, making them look somewhat new and exciting plat- Google and free to be manipulated by mobile broadband ping in the SW’s. Anonymous is based go this shop. You won’t regret it. ‘cheap’. Unless you have form has risen from the client users. The Android platform, on Kings Road, which I demand any- abnormally good-looking feet Internet powerhouse with its first iteration the T-Mobile one that goes to Imperial and remotely and have found some incred- that is Google. With the G1, is right on track to provide an al- for business’ interested in some serious shopping to www.anonymousclothing.com ible sandals, this is a dreadful ever-increasing popu- ternative user experience. Android’s go down to and spend a few hours of idea. No one wants to see larity that is the mobile telecommu- customising ability allows users to your otherwise worthless lives looking 328 Kings Road, London SW3 5UH your horrible toes. Anications market, various strides to have an equally intuitive and “fun” UK receives ASUS at things you probably can’t afford. We improve the functionality and ease of adventure when using their phone. owe an introduction to two new writ- Telephone: +44 (0)20 3006 4220 use of these devices have been made. With compatibility for almost any eee touchscreen ers for felix fashion, Victoria and Swiri. Email: [email protected] The biggest revolution in recent feature the phone’s hardware may I’m sure you’ll be reading a lot more times being Apple’s popular iPhone. contain, end-users will be able to desktop PC from them in the coming weeks. Revolutionising the way mobile browse the Internet, email and add phones are used, the iPhone has applications like the best of them. As I’ve always said, and I’m becoming This week is clothes, next week it’s shoes. Watch out as I bring you little titbits about shops SHIT a bit of a parrot, if you want to write brought full web-browsing, email, Android has also been successfully BBC iPlayer now for felix fashion, email your articles to to visit before you leave London. music playback and many other fea- installed on current phones such as [email protected]. Contri- tures in a new and intuitive way. Nokia’s N810 Internet tablet, with compatible with butions are welcome and makes my life However there is a new threat to this intriguing results. Expect Android to a lot easier. Maybe I am lazy. young super power. That threat is the filter its way to future phones. Look at him. So cute. I want one... or 2, maybe 3. Gimmie, gimmie. more PMP’s 34 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 35 Clubs & Societies Clubs & Socs Editor – Alice Rowlands Is your club cooler than the cat that got the cream? Write to us. [email protected] Coffee Break [email protected] Knit Soc won’t stitch you up At 4 pm felix received a phone call: Would anyone like to come and visit the first Knit Soc meeting of term? By 6pm I was knitting, but not without a lot of sweat and tears. Photoshop Competition - 4 Alice Rowlands equipment and wool that members Alice Rowlands Novice knitter need! Section Editor Knit Soc is one of the few societies at Imperial to boast about having boys rom the moment I heard in the club. One, of several males at his year, felix is going to about Knit Soc I knew they the first meeting, was DPFS Christian have a far more varied and would be my kind of soci- Carter, who is currently knitting a very hopefully relevant clubs ety- their meetings are held fetching turquoise scarf. Apparently and societies page. In a in a bar and generally involve knitting is a good way of keeping busy couple of weeks (with the someone providing cakes! when you can’t find any students that help of DPCS Lily Topham & Rachel Ravi Pall FRosa explained to me that Knit Soc need your help! TD’oliveiro) we’ll be bringing you a Coffee Break Editor began when Jenny (Knit Soc president Finally, I ran out of searching ques- “What’s on” section that’s a guide to all Felix and knitting enthusiast) used to spend tions to ask the Knit Soc old-hands and of the events happening through the The Cat a lot of time in halls knitting. Rosa had had to have a go myself. The ‘knit stitch’, coming week. done some knitting while at school and shown below, is apparently the easiest We will also be looking for events to Ravi is a re-app, he has re-app stuff to other friends in halls also wanted to get of knitting stitches. If that is the case, cover and weekly meetings to attend, do. Little freshers to attend to, so hello knitting! After a while, the girls decid- my initial attempts suggested knitting in an attempt to find the weirdest and if you’re one of them! It wouldn’t be a ed that knitting should be available to was beyond my levels of co-ordination: most wonderful activities happen- problem, but his column is all empty. everyone, so decided to start Knit Soc! It took me over half an hour to com- ing on campus. For this to happen, Now I’m getting scared, because I Since Spring term last year, Knit Soc plete one stitch. Once I got going I we need clubs to get in contact with don’t know what to say. I’m getting have been holding meetings in the proudly finished over twenty rows. details of up-coming events for us to rather worried, the end of the page is union bar, often attracting over thirty Unfortunately, my work was around attend (if these include refreshments far away. knitters in one meeting! three times as wide, after twenty rows, that will keep me doubly happy!). Par- If only I could go back and just start Jenny explained to me that Knit Soc as it was at the beginning. What began ticularly interesting will be events that playing with my wool, life is a lot easier caters for all standards and disciplines as a scarf, now most-closely resembles provide good photo opportunities, and when felix is nice and full. of needle work. Often providing all the a pair of under-pants! Felix is knitting himself a scarf, the purple compliments his eyes. new skills for Felix to learn. I could try and write a lot of words, This weeks winner. Team Joseph Gobbels. Again! Next weeks RAW image for you to go wild. See www.felixonline.co.uk telling you felix is great, but I don’t have much to say on that, its really quite a state of late! But this week is much better. I chal- Congratulations to this week’s win- late uploading of the picture to our This week’s image is of the tiny coffee The high res picture can be found lenge you, the reader, find a mistake in ner, Team Joseph Gobbels. We hon- website. Well done to the observant van that drove into the quad dispens- online. Click on Coffee Break in the The knit stitch, a step-by-step guide: this weeks felix. If you would rather not, estly thought that this picture was too of you who still managed to submit ing free coffee. It was very nice, and we sections tab. Email your entry to cof- check out the lovely pictures below. hard to make fun off, but hey Team an entry. This week I loved the way liked the price. We’re not really sure [email protected] with your JB came through again. We apologise the Dirty Sanchez boys are rocking what you can do with this one, but team name and .PSD file and you’ll be to our dedicated competitors for the out with their instruments. that’s why we outsource to you. entered into the FUCWIT league.

Stuff IC Students Like!? :)

Well it’s because ICU as of this year 5. Discount: has disaffiliated from the NUS. Step 1: Step 2: Step 3: Step 4: Christian Carter, DPFS, shows- Now with most stores advertising Hold the needle with the cast Wind the wool from left to right, Use the right-hand needle to draw Slip the original stitch off the left- off his knitting skills in the SAC, 2nd Amendment fail People like free stuff. Students like discount for NUS card holders, IC on stitches in your left hand and around the back, and over the point the wool through the stitch, form- hand needle, making sure to keep while he waits for people to turn free stuff even more. Students at students enjoy it when their standard the loose wool at the back of the of the right-hand needle. Make sure ing a new stitch on the right-hand the new stitch on the right-hand up to his Wednesday afternoon Imperial College London appreciate issue student ID is accepted. Believe work. Insert the right-hand nee- the wool is tight, as this will make needle. needle. clubs and societies clinic. a good bargain, and gain immense me when we say no where we have dle from left to right through the step 3 easier. satisfaction when they get discount, been has ever refused the IC student from of the first stitch. and the real world doesn’t. Some card for discount. This includes cin- would say it’s not worth shopping emas, restaurants, clothing stores, somewhere if there’s no student dis- video game stores, HMV, Zavi and count available. We at felix agree. In Pc World amongst others. Now if fact IC students have enjoyed student only our tuitions fees had student discount even more as of late. Why? discount Imperial College Health Center Hotel sign fail Please sir. May I have some discount? I’m a student... Alright then.

Don’t forget to register at the Health Centre and Drink with me, I’m Snaky B and this week I’m dressed as Mel C make sure you are up to date with your MMR and nakey B has been quite un- think that my music career is over, but one singles of any female artist. Snakey healthy in the last few weeks. do you know that I toured Canada this B knows how to use a computer, I bet Meningitis vaccines I’ve been drinking snakebites year? And also that I’m writing songs you think that you need thumbs and all day and eating nothing for my 5th album? such for access to the inter-webz but but butter. It doesn’t matter that it will be re- all you really need is to be as ubiqui- For more information visit To try and correct my heart-stopping cycled pop trash that Britney Spears tous as me, Snaky B. Yes... run to your Slifestyle I’m following in the footsteps didn’t deem good enough for her, what dictionaries! of the most musically talented Liv- matters is that I’m still a quasi-celebri- When you figure out what that big www.imperialcollegehealthcentre.co.uk erpuddlian of the last century; that’s ty. I’m not even Z-list. word means, use it in every sentence! right, The Beatles were crap. In other Wikipedia sourced facts I Who will I be next week? Probably Supermarket fail Yeh, I’m Sporty Spice y’all! You might have co-written the most UK number someone cooler. Snakey B out. Peace 36 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 37 [email protected] Fun & Games How to save money the Tamara way With all this talk of a credit crunch and financial crisis, I asked a good friend of mine to give me some 1,411 solution long, and most importantly, looping grid is by drawing crosses around any tips on saving the pennies during these hard times. Slitherlink 1,412 line. It should have no start or finish; zeros. Drawing crosses is purely done just like an elastic band. to so that you know where there can’t 1 3 1 Each number indicates how many possibly be a line. So, take the pattern The crisis has, of course, touched even ation this is a big drain on funds and is not too difficult. My husband bought 2 2 3 2 1 2 2 lines should be drawn around it, for below as an example. Begin by drawing those of us who are financially com- also a headache. To my surprise, the a music system – Steinway Lyngdorf 3 2 3 3 3 example: crosses, then by filling in some lines: fortable. Even we are thinking about Lexus turned out to be bearable. Also, which has a reasonably good sound so 1 0 2 economising. Jonny (the driver) says our LS600 us a now we listen to many musicians as re- 3 2 3 1 1 2 3 Economising on heating very cheap car to run. I highly recom- cordings rather than inviting them to 3 x This is incredibly simple. We lowered mend it, don’t take that as pestering our place. I couldn’t help inviting El- 2 2 2 2 1 3 the temperature in our guest house advertising. ton though to play a bit on the piano. I 2 3 3 2 x 0 x 3 to +14 degrees. It cannot be lower don’t like how he sings particularly but 2 1 3 3 Cells which don’t contain a number x because it would start to damage the Economising on housing his playing is wonderful. 2 2 1 1 2 3 2 3 can be surrounded by any number of antiques. If guests arrive we can make I have heard that many people advise 2 3 2 lines. the room comfortable in 2-3 hours but to rent out unused property, but of Economising on hobbies 2 2 3 2 2 3 1 2 Remember, the line must form a what is the point of paying for heating course this is very tiresome and takes Yes yes, now I have to economise on loop, so the line cannot branch. The an empty house? Of course, with 800 a long time. For example, we’ve been the most pleasurable things. For exam- The winner of Slitherlink 1,411 was following situations are not allowed: Now the lines can only continue in the square metres like ours you’re not go- trying to rent our properties in Chel- ple, this year I decided against my idea 2 2 2 2 Jimmy Bibby! I’m totally lying. No one following directions: ing to save much but many people have sea for almost a month and we’re really of completing my collection of late im- actually entered this week! Please en- much bigger guest houses. struggling to find a decent realtor. I’m pressionist paintings. This would have ter. My life isn’t worth living otherwise. hoping it will sort itself out soon. This required too much spending. How- 2 2 3 3 3 We’ll give a prize out in the summer. 2 2 Economising on food should cover the costs of keeping the ever, I found a bargain in a golden sar- It’ll be good. For me this is the easiest of all limita- golf grounds and the gym decent. cophagus from the epoch of the middle 3 3 1 2 tions. Food is not a very big deal to me. kingdom. How to play: x Here however, there is much scope Economising on personnel x x for economising. First of all, I have With people it is the most difficult. Economising on the small things 2 1 1 2 2 Crudely speaking, Slitherlink is similar Squares are not allowed either. There 0 3 asked the food stylist to be around for You get used to them and they become Here I’ll repeat the time-honoured to Minesweeper mixed with a dash of are never cells containing the number x the buying of food in Provence and practically part of your family. But in a wisdoms. Ask the doorman to pro- Sudoku. 4 in Slitherlink. Bordeaux. Buying food here makes it crisis we must tighten our belts. I had gramme this system so it turns off 2 2 2 3 3 3 The object of the game is to draw So, where do you start? The most slightly less expensive and I am more to say goodbye to the groomer (hair lights when you leave a particular floor. lines between the dots to create one common place to start on a Slitherlink certain of the quality. Secondly, I drew stylists for the pets) and asked the food Ask the accountant to be more careful the attention of the junior chef to stylist to take care of buying food as with the funds. Round all bills only to cheaper local stores. Before, I used to well. The curling instructor also had to the nearest thousand. Find something worry about the quality but this was go, but my husband thanked him prop- which has become more of a drain on silly. The fresh bread and local vegeta- erly and I hear considerably helped his your health rather than a pleasure and bles aren’t too bad. home country, Iceland. sell it. My husband, for example, sold This week’s texts: the bank and I – my collection of black Wordoku 1,412 Economising on transport Economising on entertainment diamonds even though I had to give “ Bambi meat. WTF?” I almost immediately gave up on For many this will be a huge shock, but away a percentage to the sharks from personal transport. In the current situ- I am a quiet homey person so for me it Sotheby’s. In times of need - save money on clothes E M B L R “Ez rud boi. I wz chkn ur fine bdy B K I lst nght. Bell me.” “‘Hey you take pill chill” K M “So... is this going to be in felix?” L E C B Horoscopes: felix editors’ inside jokes edition “Happy birthday Melvyn. We miss 1,405 Solution Wordoku is identical to Sudoku; you lots and lots. mum.” This week we said FUCK you guys, and made the horoscopes about ourselves... Enjoy L C we’ve just replaced numbers with E J V H S N O M A letters. Once you’ve completed 07980 148 785 “Bro, how do you turn this compu- R U L C N A M O E J V S H the puzzle, there is a hidden word ter on?” H O S M V A N J E to find. Email answers to sudoku. Aquarius Taurus Leo Scorpio C M V B O A J H M E S [email protected]. TEXT US! OR “Ok, what’s the best way to hide a M H A S O N J N V WE WON’T cadaver” This week you sit This week you This week you This week I have I L U J S E V N M H A O Hokay, so we screwed up. Last apethetically in discover for the first discretely begin to mostly been doing S V J N A O E H M issues Wordoku was uber hard, FEED THE CAT! “You going to the house party the lecture theatre, time bambi was a resent the other felix my knitting, yes A E H J M V S O N the winning phrase was “JOV right? I’m going to gate crash” listening in on quite dude. I can’t believe editors for the music knitting. No it is not HAS MEN” . [I do have a great E C R L O M N E H S A V J possibly the most I masturbated over they rampantly play just for Grannies team behind me.- ed.] boring speaker in him/her/it. Now I on their computers and no, I don’t know the world. Why the fuck is there a compulsory feel dirty. Whadafuh? That’ll be the new word at full volume. The situation becomes why I’m telling you this. Except, I know you lecture about CV’s? Good thing the unsus- we created to explain this wretched situation. decidedly worse when certain editors begin to will understand. You’ve always understood me, pecting lecturer is going to die of the overuse All this arises due to the word bambi meat sing with tones similar to that of the African I honestly don’t think anyone else really does. I of crack cocaine. She shivers, but it’s not being submitted by an editor who obviously Bullfrog. Due to the sad state of affairs, every don’t know why you won’t just marry me, I can because it’s cold. deserves more time in the psychiatric ward. occurrence results in an angel vomiting. knit now, and cook, I’d be a lovely wife for you. Tamara says: “Kill two birds with one cock!”

Dear Tamara, Dear Tamara, entropy in this room? - Let’s dis- Pisces Gemini Virgo Sagittarius cover the resonant frequency of your My roommate’s boyfriend had a go My boyfriend promised to help me write bed! - Do you want to see my Higg’s This week a This week one Did you know, that This week it has while she was in the shower. For the last into Felix about his need to talk dirtily boson? - tempestuous editor will decide as I write these very been officially few weeks, when he sees me in the cor- about science in bed. I sat down at my argument over to become a loan words, a semi-naked decided that this is ridor, he brushes past a little too close. laptop, ready to write to you and in- the spelling of shark. ENOCH will man is being rubbed the last Horrorscope When she leaves the room, he’ll always stead of helping, he’s been on the phone hummus will want to borrow down with hot oil to be written. What make a suggestive comment or two. A for the last 40 minutes to a friend from seize control over £1, and will blindly in this very office! to say... what to few nights ago, he came round and as his course discussing chemical reac- your colleagues. The local restaurant insists accept all terms and conditions. Pay him back I know what you’re thinking; Jov’s gone mad say... Mmm difficult. Ok, I fingered myself in soon as the door closed on her going to tions. It disturbs me because I know it is spelt hommos, and an editor’s mother ENOCH. Quickly before the term “my money and spent all of the felix budget on hookers, the ass last night. I was showering and it was the shower, he put hand suggestively on he’ll discuss the same reactions with me provides hummos to the mix, while felix or your life!” becomes a blood-curdling reality. again. Unfortunately no, that’s not why. If only quite soapy, I wanted to know what it would my thigh and whispered “”. What do I later. Help, my sex life is at stake! agrees it is hummous. No one cares as long as The moral of this story; pay back my DOLLAR I was lucky enough to be rubbed down by a feel like. Long story short, I should have taken do? no one starts a jihad. “Durkka durka moha...” fool!!! In an unrelated incident, the crosswords gorgeous Polish blonde, instead of the Serbian a dump before hand and it took a long time to Inert gas. ok maybe I shouldn’t. this week will be heavily altered. bear currently doing it. clean up the shower... I have no dignity Torn. Dear Inert gas, Dear Torn, Aries Cancer Libra Capricorn Judging by Does the science talk not turn you on the fact that you did not slap him in the just a little bit? I admit, I find it a wel- This week a This week you This week, the office The majority of you first place, you yourself wouldn’t mind come change from the “Ooh baby, what discussion about decide to see how has been rather full feel excluded from a go. Suggest the idea of a threesome to a naughty nurse you are” and similar. I ancient mythology much sugar you of old types, appar- the horoscopes. your friend – tell her how much guys find dressing up in a lab coat and in- erupts within the can consume ently they used to Luckily 60% of you would like you if they thought you two troducing props such a blackboard and irritable bowels of while writing the work here. But judg- will be hung in Beit got up to girly sausage-free slap and conical flasks into the bedroom really felix. It’s not long horoscopes. After ing by the smell in quad pirate style. tickle. She’ll soon catch on and you and helps me get in the mood. If this makes before the words “I Egyption!?!” are spoken in 6 cans of relentless, 4 packs of chewits and the back office, they were living here! Now that Leaving the other 40% to hide in fear. A futile the guy can have guilt-free sex, just re- him too hot, cool him down with some an apparently witty comment. Too bad heart a peperami for good measure, you find time they’ve graduated, they have poncey Bohemian attempt, as the rogue Hangman team will member to remind her sometimes. liquid nitrogen. May I suggest some disease runs strong throughout the editors slows down to a sloths pace. To alleviate lives where they make films, and say things like find you, and peel your skin from your flesh You’ll never have to watch Heroes re- phrases you can use in response? family. The story promptly makes its way into yourself from this torture you start having “carte blanche”. Fortunately they haven’t left in a leisurely pace. Collecting the HIV ridden runs until they take the sock off the - Baby, have we now reached thermal Got a problem? the horoscopes. sexual intercourse with your keyboard. Sticky. behind the Imperial arrogance we all love. blood for their child molestation purposes. I really love scooters door again. equilibrium? - Shall we increase the [email protected] 38 felix Friday 24 October 2008 Friday 24 October 2008 felix 39 Sport [email protected] [email protected] Sport

Gaelic Football

Imperial Men’s 2-04 IC win the Heineken 10’s, with 7 people James Pettit form the three man back line of Tom lack of confidence, he faced his fears Uni of Bedfordshire 3-07 Carol, Mark the Sambuca Saleme and and scored the winning try. This mon- For pre-pre season, seven brave play- Chris Johnstone, things had got back umental effort will no doubt fuel the ers made there way to Ealing Common under way. The try count increased ego of the team for years to come. Andrew Lavery to shown the guys at Heineken what and also saw IC keep a clean sheet. Captain James Pettit collected the sil- was what. Imperial arriving late, un- Malcolm Sim scored his first try which ver wear on behalf of IC which will be After much anticipation Imperial Col- der prepared and with only seven men was well deserved after a huge work the first of many more to come. Coach lege Gaelic Football Club finally took were not phased. Rocking up to bust a rate, the likes of which would make any Joe Brown said “The lads put in a mas- the field at our new pitch in Harlington move on the tournament, with a 3 man small child cry. sive effort today. To come here and put in the first match of the season against disadvantage, IC started by scoring This monster effort saw the boys in a performance like this is unreal. University of Bedfordshire. Having several tries. They carried this game achieve a place in the final. Here they They didn’t let the 3 man disadvantage only entered into the BUCS competi- plan forward into the rest of the game. would face an old foe, not the medical get to them. I’d like to thank every- tion this year for the first time, both It proved effective, seeing as scoring scum that they are use to, but IC Old one that made this possible, including teams were in unfamiliar territory, more points than your opposition can Boys. Knowing this would be tough, Hugh Dingleberry, who sadly couldn’t Coach Joe Brown and the mighty 7 both however were determined to get only help things. The gamble paid off. match preparation was vital. Alex be here today.” off to a successful start. Bedford ac- Immeadiately after putting away Johnstone chinned a protein shake and Special mention must go to Mark quitted themselves better in the open- seven tries in the first game, IC had to some high tech jungle juice to give him Saleme who scored four tries through- the second half determined to turn the Rugby ing minutes making full use of their play London Scottish. Nick Johnstone the edge. His tactics worked bringing out the day. Its good to see him getting deficit. After some well structured for- outrageously long warm up having ar- got himself back together after a quick him back to his old form. Having come back to his old ways, having to relearn ward play, fresher fly-half David Bowe Imperial Men’s 1st 12 rived an hour and a half early for the chunder in the hedge and got back into off the back of a disappointing season, the game of rugby, after the unfortu- spotted a gap on the blind side. Tom game. The IC defence was opened up the action. The boys were feeling bad, where he only scored 150 points, he nate concussion he suffered two years Uni of West England 1st 32 Carroll ran a good angle and went fly- all too easily and the opposition were but after some smash and grab action was keen to prove a point. Despite his ago. ing through a gap, catching the UWE rewarded with two soft goals in the defence off guard. Carroll went on to early exchanges. Tom Carroll brush off the full back scoring Impe- Seemingly this handed the impetus rials first try of the season. Alexander to IC and the team shook themselves ICURFC 1st XV travelled to Bristol Johnstone converted the try with an into action through the midfield duo Imperial College 4s...Ready for War! a week ago on Wednesday to play the excellent kick from the touchline mak- of Finian McCann and Edward O’Hare football, most about nothing. What did The swap of Captain Jeremy for con- University of West England in the first ing the score 20-7. Football who remained exemplary for the rest ICUGFC successfully making use of the “45” set piece come from the team talk was a strong tinental Jeremy worked a treat and the game of the season. With promotion IC carried on battling in the sec- of the match. With the tactical switch start with Marcus and Mike at centre team took on a more attacking stance. to South Premiership B the boys were ond half, producing some great rugby. Imperial Men’s 4th 3 of Jamie Sanders into the full back line half producing the kind of big tackle It was Jeremy who in fact bagged the anxious yet excited to discover the However it was not to be their day. the tide started to turn. Time and again their passing and finishing, though but next thirty minutes the match was to timistically looking for, while at the were many positives to be taken from Imperial Men’s 5th 0 that even Claude Makelele would be second goal, riffling home a shot from standard of teams they will be facing. UWE managed to get deep into the IC IC repelled the Bedford attack and be- still suffering from the soft goals con- be won and lost in the diamond region other end the opposition keeper under the game and the team eagerly look proud of. The game ebbed and flowed within the penalty area to give the 4s The day got off to a rocky start with half and made use of their heavy pack gan making inroads themselves. Frank ceded earlier. Half time score 1-03 to around midfield. Paddy the-brick- pressure from O’Neill and Lavery was forward to their next match against with both teams sharing possession a much needed cushion. The third the coach failing to show up resulting with several pick and goes. Eventually, O’Neill opened our account, calmly 2-05. (Bedford leading by five points.) wall Heugh in centre half forward was forced into conceding a penalty which Oxford this Sunday and the chance to James Skeen for the first half. The 5s struggled to came as Matty Spliff put in a bold chal- in two players having to drive minibus- they wore down the IC defence and turning to shoot over the bar from The second half saw more of battling steadfast for the whole game expertly O’Neill stuck in the net. Ten minutes revenge themselves for last year’s chal- contain Inty and James Long upfront, lenge to get on the end of a dangerous es. Arriving late, the team had just 45 managed to push over a try making the middle distance. O’Neill again got on from both teams. A lack of fitness was catching several high balls and allow- left and all was to play for. Mattie Wilks lenge match result. Training continues IC 4s V IC 5s has become the stuff but were bailed out by their man of the Alex Childs through ball which then minutes on the pitch to warm up and score 27-7. Things were not looking the scoresheet minutes later with a evident as both teams fatigued and the ing the defensive partnership of Phil offered many options to the IC attack in Hyde Park Wednesday and Friday of legends. The stats speak for them- match, the ref. Gui rounded the keeper fell for James Long to clinically slot shake off the long drive. good for Imperial and with UWE scor- well taken goal after some superb field- moments of champagne football in the Jakeman and Donnacha Kirk to clear in the closing quarter but the team afternoons and if anyone is interested selves, from IC4s point of view: Played only to be given offside which resulted home. The rest of the game was a for- Imperial went out all guns blazing, ing a fourth try a comeback seemed ing by O’Hare who set the West Bel- first half were not to be seen again. their lines. Some frenetic attacking failed to convert their chances with in joining or finding out more, email 6, Lost 6, not a single point scraped in much flamboyant preying gestures mality with the 4s controlling posses- putting a lot of pressure on the UWE out of their grasp. fast man up on the right flank. Further Bedford players were cynical in their from both teams saw the full backs at the same finesse as earlier in the game, [email protected]. The club would also from this epic derby. For this reason and finger waving as Gui tried to vent sion and the final whistle brought ju- attack and forcing some crucial errors. In the last few minutes, Imperial points from McCann and a speculative tackles and ironically their only re- either end under periods of intense only managing another point through like to thank Sport Imperial and it’s the 4s approached this game with his fury with the referee. The 5s cap- bilant celebrations and Captain Jeremy After an intense first ten minutes it be- scored a consolation try with Joe Har- long range effort from Andrew Lavery ward was in injuring their centre half pressure, only the fine keeping from the left boot of Edward O’Hare. Full staff for their great support of and in- caution. tain Ron then floored Jeremy with a clearly Lov-d-ett. came clear that this was a game Impe- ris getting his first points for the 1st saw IC play the more attractive football back who dislocated his shoulder and Stan Sikorski denied Bedford all but time score 2-04 to 3-07. vestment in the club in this its maiden The 4s were already missing Chris tackle that those fellas with the odd At the end of the day the real win- rial were capable of winning. XV. The final score was 32-12 to UWE. of the half, being much more clinical in was subbed off. The prick. Over the one of the further goals they were op- Imperial lost out this time but there season. Noone who decided to miss the game shaped balls would be proud of only to ner was as the cliché suggests, football. However, after conceding two sloppy Man of the match was awarded to Tom to pursue his 2 month heterosexual run be let off without a caution. The in- Both teams look strong and should penalties within kicking range UWE Carroll for his penetrative running and and the infamous Dutch U21 Wayne justice drove the 4s on and the reward have plenty of success in ULU 1 against went 6-0 up. Imperial kept a clear solid defence. A special mention goes Van Der Roo has still not turned up came with what can only be described other less physically attractive teams. head and stuck to their game plan. to freshers Charlie Esberger, David in association with Sports Partnership since fresher’s fair. The game was al- as a stone-wall , 100% definite penalty The football club is open to anyone There were some great line breaks in Bowe, Sam Coe and Alex Cardyn for ways going to be fiercely contested which Inty neatly slotted away to give wanting to be part of the ongoing suc- the centres however IC struggled to their impressive debuts. Fixtures & Results with the reputation as the Wednesday the 4s a well deserved lead going into cess story which is IC Football and turn territory into points. UWE went A disappointing result to start the ULU flagship team up for grabs. Cap- the break. newcomers are more than welcome to on to score two tries making the half new season, but there are signs of great Saturday 18th October Women’s 1st 0-1 University of Surrey 1st Table Tennis Women’s 2s ULU vs Queen Mary 2s ULU Women’s 2nd vs UCL 2nd tain Jeremy “J-Lo” Lovett rallied the The 4s recently have lacked the abil- join us on Monday evenings for train- time score 20-0. things to come. This will hopefully Football Women’s 1st 2-3 King’s College 1st team aided by his trusty sidekick Gui ity to kill a game off but that is exactly ing or Wednesday evenings for a re- After some stern words from the improve for next week’s game against Men’s 2s ULU 0-5 SOAS 1s ULU Men’s 4s ULU 4-1 King’s Medicals 3s ULU Squash Men’s 4th vs University of Reading 1st with some broken English, some about what was needed for the second half. sponsible beer or ten. captain and coach, Imperial went into Oxford Brookes. Tennis Men’s 1s ULU vs King’s College 1s ULU Men’s 3s ULU 1-5 UCL 4s ULU Men’s 5s ULU 1-1 RUMS 2s ULU Men’s 1st 7-3 Brunel University 1st Men’s 2nd vs University of Brighton 2nd Men’s 2s ULU vs UCL 1s ULU Answers to: [email protected] Men’s 4s ULU 3-0 Imperial College 5s ULU Men’s 6s ULU 1-0 LSE 7s ULU Saturday 25th October Lacrosse Crossword No. 1,412 Football Women’s 1s ULU vs UCL 1s ULU Women’s 1st vs King’s College 1st Men’s 6s ULU 0-2 SSEES 1s ULU Hockey Men’s 1s vs Imperial College 2s ULU Across Down Men’s 1st 4-2 Canterbury Christ Church 1st Water Polo Men’s 1st vs University of Hertfordshire 1st This is one fearsome, penetrating bitch. Sunday 19th October Men’s 3s ULU vs St George’s 1s ULU Mixed 1s ULU vs St Barts 1s ULU And not in a good way. 1 The right part of dacha sublet by 1 Shell company underwrite loss of And hello. This week’s crossword, for Football Men’s 2nd 4-1 King’s Medicals 2nd Netball title character (8) leading tanker (6) all those of you who care, is a themed Women’s 1s ULU 1-0 RUMS 1s ULU Men’s 5s ULU vs Royal Holloway 4s ULU Wednesday 29th October Women’s 3rd vs University of Chichester 3rd 1 2 3 4 5 5 6 7 8 5 Saboteur loses grip on the subject 2 Rough pearl almost disappears in one, with a large number of the clues Men’s 3rd vs Royal Holloway 2nd Badminton in question, destroying submarines very dry champagne (6) referencing the title in one way or an- Monday 20th October Men’s 6s ULU vs RUMS 4s ULU Men’s 1st vs University of Hertfordshire 1st Women’s 2nd vs London Metropolitan 1st (6) 3 Attendant puts two objective cases other. Apologies for associated unim- Netball Men’s 4th 0-5 University of Portsmouth 4th 9 Title character throwing around... together (5) aginative clueing. Women’s 3s ULU 26-4 St George’s 4s ULU Men’s 7s ULU vs St George’s 3s ULU Men’s 2nd vs King’s College 1st Rugby 9 10 (8) 4 Descendants have a long time to The theme has been taking a lot of Women’s 1st 4-2 Brunel University 2nd Men’s 4th vs University of Kent 2nd 10 ...sharp object at the German with wait to follow the family business time out of the schedules of a lot of Squash Sunday 26th October Women’s 1st vs Imperial Medicals 1st 11 a horse (6) (7) people this past month, and if you Men’s 3s ULU 3-2 RUMS 1s ULU Women’s 2nd 2-3 RUMS 2nd Hockey Men’s 2nd vs St Barts 2nd 12 Tramp on it all over, being title 6 Title character destroys bell crank want to see the result of the collective Men’s 2s ULU vs Royal Holloway 2s ULU Fencing 12 13 character (9) (9) labours, be in the Union Concert Hall Water Polo Lacrosse Men’s 1st vs University of Surrey 1st Men’s 3rd vs University of Surrey 2nd 13 Zen riddle with original references 7 Hiss now one notices the first this Thursday, Friday or Saturday at Mixed 1s ULU 15-0 UCL Mixed 2s ULU Men’s 1st 5-18 University of Portsmouth 1st Men’s 4s ULU vs RUMS 2s ULU to Islamic text (5) impressions of title character (8) 19:00. Football Men’s 1st vs Oxford University Greyhounds 14 Title character to the east-north- 8 Calm and poetically dry it is in Oh, and one more thing: www.cross- Wednesday 22nd Netball Lacrosse Men’s 2nd vs Roehampton University 2nd 13 14 14 15 15 16 east of major city (4) New York (8) word.info/Enoch October Women’s 2nd 16-0 University of Reading 4th Mixed 1s ULU vs UCL Mixed 2s ULU Squash 16 Provides a good smoke or the 11 Ring-shaped parasite affecting the Badminton Men’s 1st vs Universities at Medway 1st Women’s 1st vs University of Reading 1st 17 18 17 company will collapse (7) ear (4) Enoch Men’s 1st 4-4 Queen Mary 1st Women’s 3rd 4-51 Brunel University 5th Rugby 19 Title character has roll put in 15 Cast a shadow over a ridiculous I N C E S S A N T L Y I S T T Women’s 1s ULU vs UCL 1s ULU Men’s 4s ULU vs Royal Vets 1s ULU Men’s 1st vs UCL 1st 19 20 21 20 underground storage (7) service price (9) Men’s 2nd 5-3 University of Surrey 1st Rugby 21 Start to indicate leftist thought and 17 A corporal punishment session is N Y E F R A A A Men’s 1st 13-42 Oxford Brookes 1st Men’s 5s ULU vs King’s Medicals 3s ULU D E N I G R A T E A N A V A L Monday 27th October Table Tennis 22 23 leaning (4) making me feel embarrassed (8) Women’s 1st 2-6 Uni of Hertfordshire 1st Badminton Men’s 1st vs University of Reading 1st 24 Clean, finely-peeled cucumber put 18 Crooked ingrates sometimes U I R R S K S I L C A C H E T O A P O S T A T E Men’s 2nd 13-24 University of Essex 1st Mixed 1s ULU vs Royal Holloway Mixed 1s ULU Men’s 6s ULU vs Queen Mary 5s ULU in sandwich (5) known as noble (5,3) 24 25 26 E U G C A C T S Fencing Women’s 1st vs University of Essex 1st 25 Title character owned building in 21 Three to take a spin for that S I M I A N C E S C A P I S T Men’s 1st 135-73 University of Sussex 1st Men’s 4th 17-31 University of Portsmouth 4th Basketball Men’s 7s ULU vs Heythrop College 1s ULU Scottish part of countryside (9) purpose (7) L E T C S N O P Men’s 1s ULU vs Queen Mary 1sts ULU Tennis 27 Ready to get started – as shown in 22 Early luminaries different to what F O R B E A R S S A G E N D A Football Squash Hockey Women’s 1st vs London School of Economics 1st title (2,4) they became after graduation (6) 27 27 28 L C U I I L T R Men’s 1st 1-3 Roehampton University 1st Men’s 1st 4-1 King’s College 1st Men’s 2nd ULU vs LSE 1s ULU Women’s 1st vs LSE 1st 28 Title character has the tail of a fish 23 Being more stupid in an American I N H A B I T S N R I C T U S with quite a state in the middle (9) hospital room (6) Volleyball T A A E A C A E Men’s 2nd 1-5 University of Hertfordshire 3rd Men’s 2nd 3-2 UCL 2nd Men’s 1st vs UCL 2nd Men’s 1st vs University of Reading 1st 29 Receive before and after request 26 Funeral song playback, for example, Netball T E N D S I R E N D I T I O N Women’s 1s ULU vs King’s College 1s ULU that blows when angry (6) free at last (5) 29 30 E T I I T S N I Men’s 3rd 2-3 Universities at Medway 2nd Women’s 1st 2-2 University of Sussex 1st Men’s 3rd vs Imperial Medicals 3rd 30 Alien returns to cut off worthier R O R O C H A R I S M A T I C resort owner (8) Send in your sport reports: [email protected] felix sport High resolution photos only Footballers’ frolics in Eastern Europe Mustapher Botchway Imperial College Football Club

our started at the union with Tapeworm (Simon Kilroy) masquerading in his Friday night at Fabric attire, a mankini. Before I reveal that he was duly twatted in his Tnether-regions with a football, a brief introduction to tour shall be given. Every year, ICUAFC gallivant to an overseas country, normally in Eastern Europe to bring their unorthadox but celebrated methods of socialising to the region. In addition, the beautiful game that is Matchbox is played, alongside the optional football matches. Last summer, the destinations were Prague and Berlin. Tour secretary Skypesex, less often known as Chris Parrott packed the 8 days away with a multitude of activities, the first being a plane flight. The year before, the less organised tour sec made us wing it to Bulgaria. Upon arrival at Prague and getting the hostels sorted, IC dined at what happened to be a “Perfect Restaurant”. The more cultured among us went to McDonald’s. Club Mecca was the first club ICUAFC graced with their presence. Disappoint they did not with electro, sunglasses in the dark, upper half nu- dity, vodka, stage climbing and “shark- ing” all taking place. Club Mecca was also the destination where it was dis- covered that some Americans which Clockwise from bottom left: Footballers atop a Berlin monument; Coach Lobb and squad; Das Boot; The Tour mantra, revealed on the pub crawl were present in the union in the spring term had followed us from said place to Prague. The claim that they hid in ballers, in their first match against FC juice between each watering hole. Shite Garo, Obama and Snout Jimmy KPMG. It being Romain’s - whose tour the baggage area of the aeroplane are Bankovni Balet. After a spirted display Nearing the end of the night he (Adam Gill) had so much fun that they name is particularly offensive - birth- yet to be verified. For more details on from 2.7% of the team, Green Card passed out near a crossroad. There is decided to miss the Berlin train station day that day he thought it would be the early morning jaunts ask Vertical (Sam Rickards), IC lost 3-1. widespread debate about the cause and continue to Hamburg. good to score from fifty yards, minutes Rat (Alex De Figueiredo). The stadium in which the match was of this sudden loss of consciousness. Back at Berlin the first stop was the after having a glass of gin. So he did. The next morning (Sunday) had us played holds over 100 000 people. The Some say the alcohol, some point to the Circus hostel bar, home of the infa- The final night of tour was shared practice the unlawful activity of drink End. discussion that took place between Dil- mous boot challenge. Finish it in under with Romain’s birthday, which meant driving. Go karting was eventful with After the match, IC’s local Prague bert (Scott Mckenzie), Steve Mclaren 90 seconds and keep the boot, under one thing, kebabs and alcohol. After Chromosone (Alex Childs) managing guide and some of the home team play- (Pete Hunt), Green Card and Burkin- three minutes and you receive the al- the Italian restaurant reneged on IC’s to break a kart, the track, his phone ers joined IC as they played Matchbox žralok (Louis Burkinshaw) about who cohol à gratis. Prince Charles devised a booking, they decided to have kebabs and knob within two laps of the cir- in a bar. The UEFA European Cup Final the best player in the club was. plan to successfully complete the boot before witnessing Prince Charles’ at- cuit. Fastest man on the day went happened to be on in the background. Rumours that Phalludopoulos later on that week. tempt to complete the boot. Romain to Michael Hughes, in which he cel- The evening’s events started at Ba- (Michael Pursey) slept on the pave- The fascination or beaches didn’t got lost on the 100 yard walk from the ebrated by playing table football with talion, a 24 hour pub. Prince Harry ment floor outside the club - a 5 story stop there as the touring party left Cir- kebab shop to Circus hostel bar and the track owner’s daughter whilst the (Frank O’Neill) was on majestic form building catering for all needs: 1st cus hostel bar to a nightclub with said this delayed proceedings for an hour. rest went back to the hostel - the 5th with his pint ingesting and sleeping at floor being a cloak room with cheesy theme. Geldautomat (Daniel Wilson) Shatters (James Skeen) decided to fly in floor of a historic building, with no lift, the bar abilities. muic, 2nd floor housing a strip club, did his tour shirt proud by making from the UK to share our final night on a floor above a police station - to let the Monday morning brought the inter- 3rd floor being a dance club, 4th floor a large withdrawal. The next day IC tour and fail in trying to drink a boot. hangovers have their fun. nal beach football competition, which a quiet room, full of books and board found a group of randomers to play a Prince Charles successfully finished In preparation for the first of three S. Analdonkeyjuicelover (Sim Ananda- games and the 5th floor being home to football match with. Tag-Along (Noah the boot which left IC in good spirits football matches, Moonface (Mitchell jeyarajah), Barack Obama (Yours Tru- a 60s and 70s disco room - IC ended up Stevens), Brokeback (Simon Parker) for the tour awards ceremony. Fern) and others were rewarded for ly) and Prince Charles (Adrian Doyle) in after the crawl have been verified. and Mountain (Stewart Masters) de- Man of tour went to Chromosone their carefree, blazé manner by being missed due to the inability of the rest FC Predni were the opponents for cided to stage a mini tour Bola Bola for his antics which included losing all accosted by what I can only describe of the touring party to knock on their the second match of tour. Roger, this between themselves. The first round of his belongings at the train rave and as a sex salesman. Amongst the stand- room door when it was time to go. time fortified with a mostly sober team was completed as the final whistle of dressing up as a phallus on the pub ard patter of offering opportunities Shite Garo (Michael Donovan) scored and a pen and paper, produced a tacti- the match went. crawl. to solicit with barely legal fe/males, an overhead kick, which did just about cian’s masterclass at halftime when the The next day, Roger, Barack, Moon- Player of tour went to Roger for man- Moonface commended the salesman’s nothing in his attempts to rein in his scores were locked at nil a piece. Mak- face, Shite Garo, Snout Jimmy and aging the 4 matches and producing a inclusive nature. He politely declined ego inflation problem. ing an 11 man substitution, ICUAFC Beadle (Jeremy Lovett) took part in a 75% win rate. attending and/or participating in an The beer crawl given by an unsus- went on to win 3 - 0. Scrabble tournament. The end. A special mention goes to Chris Par- erotic burlesque featuring people of pecting but extremely helpful Czech The second event scheduled by Sky- Rematch (Justin Winehouse) decid- rott for organising what is thought of all creeds, heights, weights and sexu- local occupied the evening. After pesex was a train ride from Prague to ed that Erol Alkan wasn’t up to scratch as one the best football tours in recent al (gender) preferences. Jake Tucker walking for 45 minutes in search for Berlin the next morning. Drew Peacock at the nightclub and mitigated his dis- club history. The time and planning (Christopher Killin) on the other hand the first beer, which set us back 80 (Ricky Verra) armed with some music pleasure by creating some oragami be- done was incredible and it showed, as couldn’t resist. shiny pennies and which happened to produced perfect conditions for a rave. fore passing out in the beer garden. there wasn’t a day where the club didn’t Roger (Ed Lobb) naturally assumed be in another football stadium, Prince Naturally some ambassadors and their The final match arrived on the penul- have anything to occupy themselves the role as the coach Imperial College Charles decided to make up for miss- daughters joined in the festivities, with timate day of tour and it was a fiercely with, thereby producing an excellent Tour Football Club, managing to give a ing the beach football by necking a the club producing their best rendi- contested match against the Berlin club event which will be remembered game to all thirty-something IC foot- glass of vodka with ananas (pineapple) tions of classic jumpen hits. branch of one of ICUAFC’s sponsors, for many years to come.