Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4

Beth Humanistic Jewish Community

What’s Happening at Beth Chaverim Mah Nishmah

Upcoming Events

E-Auction March 10-17

March 18 Book Group April 22 May 20 March 20, 2:30pm Adult Education Barnes & Noble, Deerfield

Sunday School No School March 24, 31 Spring Break April 7, 10-11:30am Good Deeds Day Community Arts Center 225 McHenry Road, Buffalo Grove Remember, Reflect, April 11, 6:30pm Resolve Vigil Jaycee Park/St. Gregory’s Church, Deerfield

Passover Begins April 19

Second Night April 20, 5:30pm Community Seder Northbrook Hilton

May 5 Sunday School Ends

Beth Chaverim Steering Committee Members

President: Carolyn Lewis Secretary: Steve Rusnak Past President: Deb Rusnak Treasurer: David Kantor Members At Large: Loren & Vivian Kramer, Dan Lewis, Sue Pinkus, Alan Solid

Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 2 Doing the Right Thing

There is a legend in our tradition that seems especially apropos of the times in which we are living. It teaches that at any one time, there are 36 humble righteous people or tzadikim in the world. In Yiddish, they are the lamidvavniks. These people are not known as such, even to themselves, and are hidden among the population. Without them, the legend goes on, the world will devolve into evil and humanity will destroy itself. Since any of us could be one of the 36, we must live and behave as if we were. In other words, we must set a moral and ethical example, living a life of righteousness and generosity. It is no small thing to say the world depends on it. On a more fatalistic note, there is a Talmudic notion attributed to Rabbi Eliezer that one should repent the day before one dies; but since one generally does not know what day that will be, repentance or making amends should be done every day. While repentance and guilt do not and should not guide our lives, the idea that we should live lives that would not regularly, let alone daily, require seeking forgiveness is worth heeding. Caution in our language and care in our actions mitigate against that need. Along the same lines, Mahatma Gandhi said, “live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” Again, since we rarely know when we will die, this aphorism instructs us to continually be living a life of meaning, kindness, and empathy. This is to be our legacy.

These three examples serve to remind us that we must continually strive to do the right thing, particularly in the turbulent times in which we find ourselves. Each interaction with a friend or with a stranger is a chance to think of the other rather than of ourselves. It presents the opportunity for moral and ethical choices, opportunities to do the right thing. When interacting with a friend, we may be called upon to lend support, offer kindness or be truly attentive. When interacting with a stranger, it is the chance to refuse to engage in “othering,” treating someone different than us as the "other", or worse, "less than." It takes being mindful and aware; it requires attention to the consequences of our words and our deeds. Excuses come too easily. It is too easy to forget in the haste and busyness of our lives that, as the old Seals and Croft song said, “we may never pass this way again.” Our ethical behavior leaves a lasting impression in its wake; and if we are fortunate, a lasting example to others.

Our lives are made up of the full panoply of experiences, some good and some bad; some within our control and some completely out of our control. But many times we live in the intersections. How we react may be as important as what we are reacting to. When the news cycle spins at a faster and faster pace, we grow numb to the insults hurled, and hardly realize that our moral compass may have been skewed. We are told there is a new normal emanating from our government that seems to be made up of what was formerly unacceptable. I grew up with the idea that it is never wrong to do the right thing. And determining what is the right thing was not hard. Charity, humility, and kindness still are relevant. A small word of praise, a gentle expression of gratitude, a helping hand outstretched to someone in need, all create the world we want.

Our community shows itself time and again to be generous and cognizant of those in need. We support one another and those beyond our community. It is a place that is made up of more than 36 righteous people. It is a place we can be proud of. B’shalom,

Rabbi Jodi

Beth Chaverim Mission Statement

Beth Chaverim is a place for individuals and families to explore their Jewish heritage and traditions, to learn to think critically and independently about religious and theological issues, and to develop meaningful and relevant Jewish identities through education. Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 3 Can We “Agree to Disagree” When Hate is the Topic?

"Agree to disagree" is a phrase in English referring to the resolution of a conflict where all parties tolerate, but do not accept, the opposing position(s). It generally occurs when all sides recognize that further conflict would be unnecessary, ineffective, or otherwise undesirable. They may also remain on amicable terms while continuing to disagree about the unresolved issues. Is it possible to “agree to disagree” in every case where there is a difference of opinions? At what point does “agreeing to disagree” put an end to important conversations and prevent change from taking place? What if the topic is hate?

Hate is an open attack on tolerance and acceptance. It breaks apart communities along racial, ethnic, gender, and religious lines, and though it may start small, hate escalates.

According to the Society for Humanistic Judaism, as Humanistic ,

• “We believe that the peaceful exchange of ideas through non-violence is instrumental to the dignity of every human being. • We believe that differences of opinion on fundamental issues, whether political, religious, social, or ethical, are essential to a well-functioning democracy. • We believe that we have the civic responsibility to exchange ideas that are well thought out and evidence- based, not merely emotive and incendiary. While we acknowledge that speech that denigrates other groups of people is protected activity under the First Amendment and under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms in Canada and therefore should not be legally banned, we nonetheless feel that such “hate” speech undermines a much-needed democratic dialogue and violates ethical principles regarding how we should characterize others with whom we disagree.

Accordingly, we, the Society for Humanistic Judaism, believe that no group or individual should be subjected to any form of harassment, racism, or violence based on their belief system. We implore groups and individuals to strive to have a civil and respectful dialogue, even with people with whom they disagree, as that is most beneficial to a peaceful and productive society.”

The answer here is clear: as Humanistic Jews, we have a fundamental obligation to speak out peacefully when we see or hear hatred. We must build the moral courage to lead so others will follow, stand out from the crowd, and seek help from others who support us. “Having the moral courage to confront hatred when it rears its ugly head means that the perpetrators of it will think twice before saying and doing such things again.” (Ed Gould) The Southern Poverty Law Center notes, “Our experience shows that one person, acting from conscience and love, is able to neutralize bigotry. Imagine then, what an entire community working together, might do.”

We are Humanistic Jews-- loving, caring, feeling, human beings. We must do something. In a modern society where hatred sometimes feels to be running rampant, more and more people around the country are standing up to promote tolerance and inclusion. As stated by the Southern Poverty Law Center, “In the face of hatred, apathy will be interpreted as acceptance — by the perpetrators, the public and, worse, the victims. Decent people must take action; if we don’t, hate persists.” We cannot “agree to disagree” when it comes to hate.

Carolyn Lewis, President Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 4 What’s Happening at Beth Chaverim Mah Nishmah

Todah Rabah We Remember means “thank you very much”

November PADS donors: the Enteen family, the Grant family, the Kantor Irv Boyer, Father of Julie Boyer family, Bobbi & Jim Taormina, Tracy Wilson and the Kantor family for delivering the food

December PADS donors: Andrea Berk, the Enteen family, the Field family, the Kantor family, the Lewis family, the Shore family, Bobbi & Jim Taormina, and the Lewis family for delivering the food

January PADS donors: the Cheskin family, the Field family, the Horn family, the Grant family, the Kantor family, the Shore family and David and Benji Kantor and Marlee Lewis for delivering the food

February PADS donors: the Field family, the Horn family, the Kantor family, the Lewis family, the Shore family, Judith Matz & David Barhydt, Tracy Wilson and David Kantor for delivering the food. Donations In Memory of Irv Boyer

Jodi and Juan Hernandez for providing all the supplies and making latkes, and Dick and Donna Strauss Nancy Freedkin for providing all the supplies and baking Chanukah cookies, Linda and Rich Horn and Jillana Enteen for helping with our school Chanukah celebration Sue and Hugh Pinkus The Cheskin family, the Horn family, the Lewis family, the Magill family, Meryle Mitchel, the Solid family, Ines Taormina, the Rusnak family, Rabbi Jodi, Larry and Michele Rivkin American Hotel Registry and Doubletree Hotel Skokie for donating the items for the dignity bags project; Phyllis Cheskin, Jodi and Juan Hernandez, Deb and Elyse and Tom Magill Steve Rusnak, Alan and Rhonda Solid and Paula Krecun for assembling them, and Jodi and Juan for hosting the evening to pack them

Deb and Steve Rusnak for hosting our potluck Havadalah dinner Donations Jillana Enteen for substitute teaching our fourth grade class

Jessica Gingold

Chris Whittemore Mazel Tov Jonathan and Tanya Seidman

Alan and Rhonda Solid Pam and Tom Davies on the engagement of their daughter Elizabeth Michael Marcus

Elyse and Tom Magill on the engagement of their son Matthew Evan Goodman and Andrea Berk

Standing On One Foot (Judaism in roughly 140 Characters)

“I don’t speak because I have the power to speak; I speak because I don’t have the power to remain silent”

– Rabbi A.Y. Kook Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 5 Second Night Community Seder

Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?

IT’S THE BETH CHAVERIM 2ND NIGHT SEDER!

WHEN: Saturday, April 20th @ 5:30pm WHERE: The Hilton, 2855 N. Milwaukee Ave, Northbrook, IL COST: $40/Adult, $18/Children 3-13, Free/Children Under 3

DINNER INCLUDES Soup Chicken, Brisket or Salmon (Vegetarian Option Passover Lasagna) Vegetables Beverage Dessert Bring Your Own Wine

RSVP BY APRIL 13TH, 2019 Please send payment to: Beth Chaverim Humanistic Jewish Community 1457 Wilmot Road, Deerfield, IL 60015 ------WE CAN’T WAIT TO ATTEND! J Name:______# Adults @ $40/person $______Chicken __Brisket __Fish __Vegetarian ___ # Children 3-13 @ $18/person $______Chicken __Vegetarian ___ # Children under 3 __Chicken __Vegetarian Total Amount Enclosed $______Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 6 Chanukah 2018

Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 7 A Trip to Israel – A Reflection by Sophia Whittemore

Sophia Whittemore celebrated her bat mitzvah at Beth Chaverim. From her website, sophiawhittemore.com, she “is a Dartmouth student and multiracial author with an Indonesian mother and a Minnesotan father, She has had book signings at Barnes & Noble for her Impetus Rising Series, available on Amazon and other outlets, the first book published when she was only seventeen.”

“It’s not easy, being Jewish.”

Sitting over breakfast in , we weren’t the most regular of families. My mother’s from Indonesia. My dad’s Jewish from Minnesota. We provoked a couple stares from curious onlookers near the breakfast table. Alongside that phrase.

“It’s not easy, being Jewish.”

But Tel Aviv wasn’t the most regular of cities. It was populated by the young, Jewish kids who didn’t necessarily eat kosher, but still believed in everything that Judaism represented when it came to passing down traditions. Pride flags near ulpans, or Hebrew learning centers. Everything shut down for Shabbat, but young kids still defiantly going to burger places for brunch.

Traveling, we garnered different reactions from everyone we met. “She looks Israeli.” One older Jewish woman told me. And then, with a wink to my parents. “I know of a nice young man if you’re interested.”

Speaking some Hebrew at the Shuk Carmel, or Carmel Marketplace, the old sellers were delighted to show us the newest wares of fresh fruit, juices, and pitas. Spices piled on spices. People often asked if we recently moved, or if we were thinking of Return. It was family-like, when we swapped food and conversation in restaurants and markets and bus rides across the desert. Often, we were told “welcome home. Welcome.”

“It’s not easy, being Jewish.”

I waded along with what felt like thousands of others to the Wailing Wall. One side for men, one for women. I saw a woman praying over a book for hours, not even touching the wall. Others, younger and nervous, pressing their foreheads against the wall, scared as little kids.

I pressed my hand against it, said a brief prayer in Hebrew. My mother joined me in prayer, a different kind, but the intent still the same.

“It’s not easy, being Jewish.”

We wandered through the different quarters in Jerusalem to reach the Wailing Wall. Muslim. Jewish. Armenian. Christian pilgrims alongside all of different faiths. The religious and the religious-curious and those who weren’t particularly, but still were in awe of the majesty of the place.

It’s not easy…

At the end of the day, I’m a mix of young and old. New ideas and tradition. My mom’s from Indonesia. My dad’s from Minnesota. The experience felt familiar, but still different. That’s—

…being Jewish. Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 8 Donate to Beth Chaverim

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Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 9 Adult Education

We will continue the discussion of Jeremiah on March 20 at 2:30pm Barnes & Noble in Deerfield

Check your emails and our online calendar for future dates and information

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You can support Beth Chaverim through your everyday shopping on Amazon!

http://smile.amazon.com/ch/32-0054139

We are always looking for fast and easy ways to support our community and this is one of them. Make sure to share this link with family and friends and be sure to bookmark it for easier access!

Rabbi Sherwin T. Wine

“… the state must be free from religious coercion and that religion must be free from state control. All individuals have the right to pursue the dictates of their own conscience. All citizens even have the right not to be religious at all.” Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 10 Doing Our Part

Our tradition holds that if you save one life, it is as if you saved the world. We brought that maxim to life hoping to reach and positively impact at least one life. On a recent January evening, Beth Chaverim members got together to create “dignity bags” for survivors of sex trafficking in the area. Working with a new organization, JCAST, we assembled 72 bags containing various toiletries, protein bars, cards of encouragement, and other personal items. From its website, jcast.com, “The Jewish Coalition Against Sex Trafficking (JCAST) Chicago works to eradicate sex trafficking in the Chicagoland area through public awareness, community engagement, and advocacy at local, state and national levels. Inspired by Jewish values, we partner with interfaith and human rights groups, non-profit organizations, government officials, and law enforcement agencies.” Through this important mitzvah, we each learned to change the vocabulary we use to elevate the women involved: survivors not victims; dignity bags not toiletry kits. As we change the language we use, we can also change our response to this epidemic and open our eyes to the various forms of abuse often taking place in plain sight. Thank you to our generous members, American Hotel Registry, Doubletree Hotel in Skokie, and Holy Cross Church of Deerfield for donating everything we needed.

The Society of Humanistic Judaism Celebrates 50 Years

The Society for Humanistic Judaism (SHJ), of which every member of Beth Chaverim is a member, is celebrating its 50th anniversary. To register for the event, go to www.SHJat50.org. As part of the summit, there will be numerous workshops and presenters; Rabbi Jodi will be presenting on Jewish Art and Culture in a talk entitled “Jewish Art: A Window into Jewish Life Across time and Place”. Celebrating Culture, Advancing the Movement At The Birmingham Temple – Farmington Hills, MI April 26-28, 2019

To mark 50 years of the Society for Humanistic Judaism (SHJ), let’s come together with current, past, and future leaders from Humanistic Judaism communities throughout the U.S. and Canada for a weekend of joyous festivities, dynamic speakers, and meaningful sharing and learning while we rekindle old friendships, create new ones, and generate the next big ideas.

COME HELP US CELEBRATE AND SHAPE THE JEWISH FUTURE!

Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 11 Winter Happenings at Beth Chaverim Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 12 More Winter Happenings at Beth Chaverim

Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 13 Beth Chaverim Book Club

Please join us as we discuss the following books. Watch your email for location information.

On March 18th, we will discuss “The Two-Family House” by Lynda Cohen Loigman. From amazon.com, ““It’s hard to believe The Two-Family House is Lynda Cohen Loigman’s debut novel. A richly textured, complex, yet entirely believable story, it draws us inexorably into the lives of two brothers and their families in 1950s Brooklyn, New York.... As compelling as the story line are the characters that Loigman has drawn here. None is wholly likable nor entirely worthy of scorn. All are achingly human, tragically flawed and immediately recognizable. We watch them change and grow as the novel spans more than 20 years....engrossing from beginning to end.” ―The Associated Press”

We will discuss “Bittersweet Brooklyn” by Thelma Adams on April 22nd. This book introduces us to a side of Jewish life not often seen or recognized: an abusive family and a criminal enterprise. According to goodreads.com, “After midnight, Thelma Lorber enters her brother Abie’s hangout under the Williamsburg Bridge, finding Jewish mobster Louis “Pretty” Amberg in a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor. She could flee. Instead, in the dark hours of that October 1935 night before the dawn of Murder, Inc., she remains beside the fierce, funny brother who has nurtured and protected her since childhood. There are many kinds of love a woman can feel for a man, but few compare to that of the baby sister for her older brother. For Thelma, a wild widow tethered to a young son, Abie is the center of her world. But that love is about to undo everything she holds dear… Flipping the familiar script of The Sopranos, Boardwalk Empire, and The Godfather, Bittersweet Brooklyn explores the shattering impact of mob violence on the women expected to mop up the mess. Winding its way over decades, this haunting family saga plunges readers into a dangerous past—revealed through the perspective of a forgotten yet vibrant woman.”

On May 20th, our selection is “Tell Me How This Ends Well” by David Samuel Levinson. According to penguinrandomhouse.com, “In 2022, face an increasingly unsafe and anti-Semitic landscape at home. Against this backdrop, the Jacobson family gathers for Passover in . But their immediate problems are more personal than political, with the three adult children, Mo, Edith, and Jacob, in various states of crisis, the result, each claims, of a lifetime of mistreatment by their father, Julian. The siblings have begun to suspect that Julian is hastening their mother Roz’s demise, and years of resentment boil over as they debate whether to go through with the real reason for their reunion: an ill-considered plot to end their father’s iron rule for good. That is, if they can put their bickering, grudges, festering relationships, and distrust of one another aside long enough to act. And God help them if their mother finds out . . . Tell Me How This Ends Well presents a blistering and prescient vision of the near future, turning the exploits of one very funny, very troubled family into a rare and compelling exploration of the state of America, and what it could become.”

Many if not most of the books we read in our book group are in the Beth Chaverim library. If you would like to borrow one of the books, please contact Rabbi Jodi.

Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 14 The Humanist Café – Food for the Mind & the Appetite

There are all kinds of promises and pledges made to ourselves and others, privately and publicly. In taking a stand against hate, violence and intolerance we promise to be upstanders. As humanists, we believe in making our voices heard for moral integrity, compassion and tolerance. We believe that sending “thoughts and prayers” is insufficient to solve the tragic issues of the day. Individually we each possess the power of one; together our voices become a cacophony for change. The American Humanist Association has created the following pledge “in order to create a more civil society that discourages violence.”

1. I will speak out in favor of civil discourse and against hate and violence. 2. I commit to uphold religious freedom for all people, theists and nontheists alike. 3. I will offer criticism in ways that endeavor not to dehumanize those with whom I disagree.

South American Stew from Phyllis Cheskin

12 Thank you, Phyllis, for sharing this recipe at the Potluck Havdalah!

South American Butternut Squash Stew: 8 servings, 12 cups Adapted from a South American recipe by Phyllis Cheskin

Iconic South American stew “locro,” is a great hearty winter meal. Serve with crusty bread.

Ingredients Step 1 Prep: thaw corn; slice onions and garlic; 4 lbs Butternut squash (7-8 diced) seed and mince jalapeno; mince oregano Frozen is not as good and cilantro; stem and cut beans; remove ¼ cup olive oil sausage casing. Preheat oven to 350 1 lb sausage ; sundried tomato-chicken and/or other degrees. Line a baking sheet with sausage or meat Ex. Sautéed cut chicken breast/thigh parchment paper.

4 cups onions sliced Step 2 6 cloves garlic sliced Peel squash using a potato peeler. Cut squash in half; remove seeds and reserve 1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes/ or fresh with juice to roast. Dice squash flesh into 1-inch ¼ cup low sodium chicken broth pieces; set aside. 1 jalapeno chili pepper seeded and minced Step 3 Heat 1/4 cup oil in a large pot over 1 tbsp fesh oregano leaf minced, or1 tsp dried medium heat. Add sausage; cook, 1 tsp smoked/hot paprika breaking up chunks with a wooden spoon, until sausage is brown on all 1 lb green beans, stems removed; halved sides, about 10 minutes. Stir in onions; 1.5 cups frozen corn kernels thawed or canned cook until they begin to soften, 8-10 minutes. Add garlic; cook 1 minute more. 2 tbsp fresh cilantro minced Kosher salt and black pepper to taste Step 4 Stir in squash, tomatoes, broth, jalapeno, Crumbled feta or Cotija or Yogurt on top of casserole oregano, and smoked paprika. Partially cover pot; reduce heat to medium-low. . Cook stew, stir occasionally, until squash is almost tender, about 20 minutes. Optional: Crunchy topping of roast squash seeds Step 5 Rrinse reserved seeds to remove any fibrous strands. Add beans and corn. Partially cover pot; Dry seeds with paper towels. Toss seeds with olive oil; cook 10 minutes more. Stir in cilantro. season with salt and black pepper. Roast seeds on Season stew with salt and pepper. prepared baking sheet for 15 minutes. Garnish stew with cheese and roasted squash seeds. Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 15

Membership Questions?

Do you have questions about membership? Contact our membership liaison, Deb Rusnak, at [email protected].

Over the past few years, we have had several families within our community that have had a temporary set back, ie: a Can You Help? surgery, loss of a job, family crises, etc. "Helping Hands" is available to help with We are always looking for some assistance, the needs of these families, either large and small, for our events. Please let us through delivering a meal, or driving to a know if you are interested in helping with any of the following events this year or next: doctor's appointment or any other minor needs a family could use. If you • Helping Hands Committee would like to be added to the list of • E-Auction members who will assist when needed, please email us and Laurie Matlin will contact you when the need arises. Thank you to everyone who has volunteered already; it is greatly appreciated. Any family needing assistance can seek it by contacting Rabbi Jodi.

Humanistic Judaism 101

• Defines Judaism as the collective historic experience of the Jewish people and promotes a community of shared Jewish values. • Promotes the developments of a strong Jewish identity, especially for those Jews who cannot intellectually or emotionally embrace a supernatural being, or who are unsure about the existence of such a being and want to express their Judaism in an honest and meaningful way. • Emphasizes the capacity in all human beings to improve themselves and the world through learning and the performance of good deeds. • Teaches that ethical behavior is conduct which enhances the dignity of every individual • Understands that ritual without meaning is simply empty ritual and that liberal Judaism is authentic Judaism without apologies to the present or nostalgic bows to the past Beth Chaverim is affiliated with the Society for Humanistic Judaism

Did You Know?

Rabbi Jodi Kornfeld is available to conduct life cycle ceremonies including weddings, baby namings, and funerals for members and non-members. Contact Rabbi Jodi for further information at:

(847) 945-6512 [email protected] Spring 2019 Volume 17, Issue 4 Beth Chaverim

A quarterly publication of Beth Chaverim Humanistic Jewish Community 1457 Wilmot Road Deerfield, IL 60015 (847) 945-6512 www.BethChaverim.net

Rabbi Jodi Kornfeld Administrator Linda Horn Editor Brooke Perlman

THE E-AUCTION IS HERE! MARCH 10-17 SAVE THE DATE! J

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