e Independent Student Newspaper

Issue 808 Friday 4th March 2016

Published in Cambridge since 1947 www.varsity.co.uk

6 News: Union candidates roundtable 8 Interview: Alan Rusbridger 18 Culture: Women’s Hour 26 eatre: West Side Story VC: ‘I feel European Doku’s delight to my very • Provisional results reveal 1,000-vote majority • 14.2 per cent turnout for presidential vote core’

Lou s Ashworth Jack H gg ns & Anna Men n Sen or News Ed tor LOUIS ASHWORTH Amatey Doku has won the CUSU Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz, presidency by a landslide after a dra- Vice-Chancellor of the University of matic and controversy-fi lled electoral Cambridge, has strongly supported contest.Doku was over 1,050 votes the campaign to remain in the Euro- ahead of his nearest rival, Angus pean Union, stating that he “cannot Satow, according to preliminary re- identify a single persuasive reason to sults. e 3,415 total votes cast repre- recommend leaving Europe”. sent a 15.7 per cent turnout across the He said that he felt “European to [his] elections as a whole. is is fewer than very core” and emphasised that the last year’s election, in which 4,005 bal- university sector “has done quite well lots were cast. ere were 3,073 votes out of our European engagement”. cast for the role of President: 1,671 Borysiewicz, himself the son of for Doku, 615 for Satow, 427 for Cor- Polish refugees, warned in the closing nelius Roemer and 247 for John Sime. keynote address at the International 113 voted to re-open the nominations Higher Education Forum on Tuesday (RON). that thousands of students studying in “Obviously I’m absolutely delighted Europe were at risk if the UK severed to have been given this opportunity,” its ties. he told Varsity. “It’s been such a good In his address, in which he defended campaign, actually getting out and the motion “we are international; but speaking to Cambridge students and we are European fi rst,” he said: “no fi nding out what their concerns are. matter what Brexit campaigners would And I hope that forms the basis of the wish us to think, we are inextricably next year. linked to Europe.” “I’d like to thank my campaign Borysiewicz emphasised that it was team. ey’ve worked so hard for this only an “accident of geology” that campaign and I’d also like to thank separated the UK from the European the current CUSU team, because they continent. have done a lot of work in the last year. “Remember that there was a time And I think the most important thing when these islands were part of the going forward is making sure that the same continental landmass […] and hand-overs are as eff ective as possible, the ames, the Seine and the Rhine that we can continue the work they’ve all fl owed into the same river basin”, he done. is is about building on what Cal-Amatey averted! Doku took the vote in a landslide, despite a turnout which was lower than last year said. previous years have done. I’m obviously e Vice-Chancellor also stressed delighted. It’s a huge privilege and I’m to the “unaccountable” Bursars’ to formally adopt the role of Disabled ere were also victories for Eireann the importance of partnerships with really looking forward to it.” Committee. Students’ Offi cer (DSO). Attridge for the Access and Funding academics in Europe, highlighting that Doku, an HSPS fi nalist at Jesus He claimed that, as the President In an interview last week, he told role, Roberta Huldisch for Education, 60 per cent of scientifi c research from College, campaigned on a promise of Jesus College Student Union, he Varsity that his vision was for “a Sophie Buck for Welfare and Rights, British institutions had a European co- of “implementing the real reforms had overseen the “most extensive CUSU that is in touch with students Audrey Sebatindira for Women’s author. that CUSU needs to begin making a constitutional reform in six years, a lot more, but that supports JCRs… Offi cer and Umang Khandelwal for He did recognise that Europe and its diff erence”. He placed a focus upon reforming the way the Student Union JCRs are the most important thing for University Councillor. Chad Allen was institutions are “messy”, but said that increasing transparency within the ran”. CUSU is currently undergoing students if there are issues with the re-elected as GU President. “they’re also the best we have”. university, in particular with regards large constitutional reforms, in part college or with the university.” Continued on page 4 Continued on page 5 INSIDE: ISLAMOPHOBIA DISCUSSION AT KING’S, JO JOHNSON ON BREXIT, SEX ABUSER JAILED 2 Editorial Friday 4th March 2016 How does the story end?

On Wednesday, in a speech to the Oxford government, it is certainly encourag- Independent on Sunday will no longer be some of the long-lived beasts of Fleet Media Convention, John Whittingdale – ing, with the Guardian sticking its head produced in print form. What’s going on Street), the Independent had simply been the Secretary of State for Culture, Me- above the parapet to praise Whittingdale here, then? he New Day simply illing a less secure in its print form, what chance dia and Sport – decried the rise of ad- for ofering “support to the newspaper gap in the market? does the New Day have? blocking technology as a “modern-day and music industries”. protection racket”, arguing that it poses Apparently not, as media experts are Any optimism which we may feel an existential threat to online news plat- More generally, there seems to be cause predicting that the New Day will be seek- prompted to by the developments in the forms because it deprives them of all- for a wave of journalistic optimism right ing to poach readers from the Daily Mail state of the media from the last week important advertising revenue. now. he government now appears to and the Daily Express, rather than the must be placed irmly in the right con- be in the middle of a signiicant climb- now online-only Indy. Perhaps there’s text. On this, at least (and maybe in his pen- down in relation to its proposed changes life in the print marketplace yet. chant for heavy metal too) Whittingdale to the Freedom of Information Act; cue hings are constantly changing: are the is absolutely right. sighs of relief from those concerned In a way, it is sad that so much to do with diiculties faced by the Independent the about where their next big story is go- our media comes down to economics. exception, or the rule? Will the New Day Of course, most commercial newspa- ing to come from, and rhetorical grand- stake a claim to a slice of the market, or pers are as dependent upon advertising standing from others. While the war is Instead, we have to hope that this inevi- will it succumb to the strain under which in print as they are online; this is, after far from won, this latest attack seems to table inancial focus equates to a sort of the rest of the industry inds itself? all, what enables them to survive without have been rebufed. journalistic survival-of-the-ittest, even kowtowing to any single institution as a if this leads us rather unpleasantly to It is, of course, far too soon to say, and source of continual inancial support. On Monday, the launch of a new nation- wonder precisely what was the Indy’s so while we may appreciate having cause al newspaper, the New Day, was met, crime. for optimism for once, let’s not forget While it may be a little rash to take understandably, with much excitement, that until we know more, that’s all it can EDITORIAL Whittingdale’s comments as an indica- coming just a matter of weeks after it was And if, as the relative newcomer to the be – a hope for better times in print me- tion of some great policy move from the announced that the Independent and the marketplace (certainly compared with dia.

E James Sutton @.. M E Callum Hale-homson @.. B M Mark Curtis @.. A E Tom Freeman @ .. N E Jack Higgins & Joe Robinson (Senior), Anna Menin & Harry Curtis (Deputies) @.. S N C Sarah Collins, Daniel Gayne, Elizabeth Howcroft, Esha Marwaha, Kaya Wong & Siyang Wei C E Ethan Axelrod @.. I E Louis Ashworth (Senior) & Steven Daly (Deputy) @.. C E James Dilley (Senior), Charlotte Taylor, Anna Jennings & Maya De Silva Wijeyeratne (Deputies) @.. S E Nicole Rossides @..  E Imogen Shaw & Meg Honigmann @.. C E Will Roberts & Katie Wetherall @.. T E Eleanor Costello @.. F E Laura Day & Vicki Bowden @.. R E Charlotte Giford @.. M E Michael Davin @.. S E Ravi Willder & Felix Schlichter @.. I E Alice Chilcott & heo Demolder @.. O E Charlie horpe & Ellie Matthews C S-E Imran Marashli P E Simon Lock @.. I Ben Waters, Emma Wood, Luke Johnson, Ben Brown V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chairman), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Michael Derringer, Michael Curtis, Talia Zybutz (VarSoc President), Tom Freeman, James Sutton, Eleanor Deeley, Callum Hale-homson, Rebekah-Miron Clayton (he Mays) ©VARSITY PUBLICATIONS LTD, 2016. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. Varsity, 16 Mill Lane, Cambridge CB2 1RX. Telephone 01223 337575. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes the Mays. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm newsprint. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 Interested in Can you do be er? postgraduate journalism Edit Varsity in Easter 2016 No experience is needed to get involved next term, and there’s never been a better time to join Varsity, with a new website on the way! training? For more information, email the editor, James, at [email protected] Application forms are available for download from varsity.co.uk/get-involved, A major scholarship and/or bursary may and should be emailed to applications@ be awarded to students graduating from the varsity.co.uk University of Cambridge or ARU who are about to undertake an approved course in Section editor applications are now open, journalism in the coming academic year. and will close at 5pm on Thursday March 10 2016 Past benefi ciaries of the awards have All students are encouraged to apply. gone on to successful careers at a No experience at Varsity is necessary. variety of media organisations. If you have any questions, please For further details on the Trust and to check email James, at [email protected] eligibility, visit www.varsity.co.uk/trust where you can download an Positions on the team include: information pack. Editor, Deputy Editor, Magazine Editor, News Editor, Investigations Editor, Deadline for applications: Comment Editor, Science Editor, 5pm, Monday April 25 2016 Interviews Editor Features Editor, Culture Editor, Reviews Editor, Sport Editor, Fashion Editor, Theatre Editor, Music Editor, and more.

The Varsity Trust offers funding to students planning to undertake journalism courses in 2016-2017. Registered Charity No. 1012847 Friday 4th March 2016 News 3 Jo Johnson rejects Brexit in Cambridge speech

Ke r Baker research money.  e total amount international and cross-border in received by UK science between 2007 nature”, warning that “in career terms, News Correspondent and 2013 was €7 billion. we have no idea what eff ect Brexit KEIR BAKER He argued that this fi gure proved might have on job opportunities.” Yesterday, Jo Johnson appeared in that “the modern knowledge Johnson was also keen to talk about Cambridge alongside the European economy is built on collaboration and the importance of science funding Commissioner for Science, Research partnership. It depends on teams of given by the EU to Cambridge, both as and Innovation, Carlos Moedas, at a researchers working together across a university and as a local area. public lecture entitled ‘Reinventing borders. To thrive in the Information Describing Cambridge as “a European Research and Innovation Economy, the UK needs to be open to powerhouse of the British, European for the Information Age.’ Johnson, the the world, to be innovative, and to be and indeed global knowledge Minister for Science and Universi- building academic partnerships with economy, one of the most powerful ties, and vocal supporter of Britain’s its close neighbours, not turning its engines of Britain’s knowledge continued membership of the EU, backs on them.” economy, and a national asset of used the opportunity to mount a case Johnson was also keen to refer to supreme performance,” he suggested against Brexit from the perspective recently published data showing that that an ‘in’ vote would help sustain the of the science and research commu- nine out of 10 scientists agree that EU momentum behind ‘the Cambridge nity. He was fl anked by Professor Sir membership benefi ts UK science and Phenomenon’ and our national status Leszek Borysiewicz, the University of engineering. as a global science superpower. Cambridge’s Vice-Chancellor and an In explaning this, Johnson argued He explained ‘the Cambridge outspoken ‘in’ supporter. that, far from being just meaningless Phenomenon’ as the “Chinese-style Johnson called the arguments for fi ndings showing the views of a certain growth rates of seven per cent a year” remaining, and the negative eff ects of demographic, “we should take the seen recently in the region. Brexit on science funding, “compelling survey seriously. It is vital we have to Arguing that “our close ties with and strong”. He argued this because, have an evidence-based debate and a the EU are a crucial part of this great in his words, “those who want to leave properly informed choice.  e facts national success story,” Johnson warned [need] to explain how they will sustain matter. And few value evidence more that Brexit risks causing signifi cant the same levels of investment and the than scientists.” harm to the UK’s knowledge-based same depth of partnership if we were While polls show that the 18-24 age economy and the competitiveness of outside the EU.” group is most likely to favour an ‘in’ UK universities. He went on to describe the vote, there are still those who remain “Our competitors in other countries UK’s current situation, after David unconvinced as to the benefi ts of will not hang around during a decade Cameron’s renegotiated settlement remaining in the EU. of uncertainty that might follow a with the EU, as “the best of both Johnson started to count on his vote for Brexit.  ey will seize the worlds”, adding: “whilst non-EU fi ngers in a way suggesting that, as opportunity to win new investment countries can benefi t, they forfeit a Minister for Universities, he tackles and build new research links.” seat on the table when the European this question often. He praised “the Concluding, Johnson argued that Parliament or other decision-makers terrifi c horizon-broadening Erasmus “[a] vote to leave would be a leap into decide their budget.” programme that enables students the dark and one that would put ‘the Johnson’s argument appears to be to travel around [and] future career Cambridge Phenomenon’ and our bolstered by the fact that the UK was opportunities for research and further status as a science superpower at one of the largest benefi ciaries of EU study, given that science is increasingly r i s k .” Johnson gave a lecture yesterday on Brexit’s impact on science

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Royal Mail and the cruciform are trademarks of Royal Mail Group Ltd. © Royal Mail Group Ltd 2016. All rights reserved. 4 News Friday 4th March 2016 CUSU/GU results: multiple landslides ANALYSIS: Candidates seize wide VARSITY’S FAVOURITE Short campaign margins, despite reduced CAMPAIGN MOMENTS nearly killed voter turnout the fun e CUSU Elections have thrown factor, up some genuine delights. Offi cial Continue from front page to say areas you would improve in the election guidance encouraged can- but hope Sebatindira defeated Connie existing system without referring to didates to “be as creative as possible Muttock by 805 votes to 391 for anything the other candidate might with modes of camapigning” – ad- prevails the position of Women’s Offi cer, an have done”. vice which candidates heeded to unexpectedly wide margin. ere were no applicants for the varying degrees. Voting opened at midnight on role of Coordinator, a role which One of the most interesting in- Louis Tuesday morning, and closed at 7pm encompasses several tasks related terpretations of the Elections Ashworth on ursday. Hustings were held to the internal management and Committee rulings came from on Monday evening, and saw tense administration of CUSU. Varsity has Amatey Doku’s campaign team. clashes between candidates for several been told that arrangements for a Horatio’s ruff pitch Doku’s camp put together a 29-sec- Nearly as quickly as they began, the of the roles, particularly President, Coordinator by-election will begin ond YouTube video, entitled ‘#be- CUSU elections are over, even though University Councillor and Welfare shortly, and may coincide with the fi rst likehoratio’ (top left). In it, footage the by-election for Coordinator and Offi cer. During the hustings, Doku ever election for a DSO. of a dog, Horatio, was dubbed with the inaugural Disabled Students’ Offi c-

was challenged on his policies by rival Two candidates dropped out during JOSH JACKSON a voiceover from Doku himself, er elections still await us. Students can candidates Cornelius Roemer, Angus the campainging and elections period. which encouraged voters to “be like breathe a sigh of relief as the barrage Satow and John Sime. Robert Corbyn-Smith abandoned his Horatio” and vote for Doku. Horatio of campaign posts and voting groups Welfare Offi cer was a hotly contested presidential bid on Sunday, for reasons did not reply to a request for com- should dissipate in the next few days. role, with both candidates throwing which remain unspecifi ed. ment. Doku’s campaign has since re- After the smoke has cleared, how- statements back and forth regarding On Wednesday, NUS Delegate leased a series of other animal-based ever, questions still remain about the each others’ conduct. Candidates candidate Brendan Mahon withdrew videos. problems presented by the election Sophie Buck and Poppy Ellis Logan his candidacy after citing a confl ict Meanwhile, Varsity was de- process. Several candidates have raised were engaged in a heated debate of timings with the NUS conference lighted by unsuccessful University concerns, saying that they felt rulings at hustings, in which Ellis Logan in April. He gained the third-highest Councillor Josh Jackson’s manifesto by the Elections Committee were arbi- criticised Buck’s lack of experience number of votes despite pulling out. picture (left). ough the picture trary, ad hoc, and unfair. ere seemed and asked: “Do you think you have During the campaign, presidential somewhat resembles a poster for to be a general confusion among some more experience than I have?”. Ellis candidate and ex-Trinity JCR a ‘one-night-only’ swing singer, of those in the race as to how the rules Logan, who is the incumbent Welfare president Cornelius Roemer was the the photo is actually a selfi e, and on social media should work. Offi cer, told Varsity that she had found subject of controversy. Last Friday, required Jackson to sellotape his Presidential candidate Cornelius the campaign against her “demeaning”. Varsity revealed a series of unreleased phone to a bathroom wall. Roemer, who received two warnings She said that she had “been accused statements from his former GU President Chad Allen’s cam- from the Elections Committee over of focusing on disabilities at the committee, in which several paign stuck to more tried-and- rule breaches, described the set-up expense of mental health”, but allegations about his leadership tested methods, with his campaign as “very outdated and ridiculous” and that she had done “important style were made. materials echoing a certain other said that the rules should be “thor- work” in terms of “mental During the election period, controversial president (below). oughly revised”. health provision”. he received two formal When asked by Varsity whether he GU President Chad Allen echoed Speaking to Varsity, Buck warnings of a maximum had stolen Nixon’s graphic design, the sentiment. said that she “would not of three from the Elections Singing the Blues? Allen insisted he was “not a crook”. “ e rules are well overdue for a allow incumbents to re-run”, Committee for various rule thorough revision,” he said, adding that describing incumbency infringements. “ e Elections Committee do sterling as “clearly an unfair Results will be work given the rules they’ve inherited, advantage”. She said confi rmed by but enforcing rules that don’t have the that running against CUSU at 7pm full confi dence of the candidates or the an incumbent today. electorate is an impossible job”. “makes it diffi cult e campaign window has been

ANNA MENIN FROM CHAD ALLEN WITH MATERIAL criticised for being too short, with candidates bemoaning a lack of op- portunity to debate. Candidates were only allowed to criticise their rivals in controlled conditions, and Monday’s hustings, in which the most direct de- bate took place, were not video record- ed. e minutes of the hustings were, however, published online. Compared with those at other uni- versities, Cambridge’s students’ union Looking for work elections do seem to be less exciting. Under signifi cant pressure from work, and with tight camapaign rules and this summer? deadlines, Cambridge will never pro- duce scenes like those in Cardiff , where 28 June – 13 August 2016 When will CUSUgate be revealed? campaign volunteers run around in candidate stash, or in Exeter, where The University of Cambridge International Summer Toby Gladwin, who went on to become Programmes is ofering challenging paid work for Exeter Guild President, appeared in a policy-based music video styled after Cambridge undergraduate and graduate students. Making meaningful change: Adele and . As one of a team of nine Cambridge Student Instead, Cambridge campaigning is a sudden, furious burst, and over al- Assistants you’ll need customer-care and How God’s Love can change your life most before it begins. Whoever makes up the Elections administrative skills, initiative and tact. and the world Committee of the future may face increasing pressure to adopt a more For full details and an application form, By Mark McCurties, CS laissez-faire approach to campaign rules, and to permit a couple more call network: 60850 or 01223 760850 On Thursday 10 March at 7.30pm at the days of campaigning. is would pro- or email: [email protected] mote proper debate and a more rigor- ous analysis of the candidates, mean- Closing date for applications: 21 March 2016. Christian Science Church, 58 Panton ing that those people brave enough to put themselves up for election can do Street, Cambridge so without having to constantly worry about breaching the rules. Friday 4th March 2016 News 5 Borysiewicz Islamophobia – the new racism? baulks at Cambridge Stand Up to Racism holds discussion on the rise of Islamophobia Brexit Opinion was rarely divided, al- Continued from front page Dan el Gayne though the title of the discussion was e Vice-Chancellor of the University

Sen or News Correspondent challenged, with Rahman disputing @IHRAHMAN of Cambridge, Sir Leszek Borysiewicz, whether Islamophobia could really continued by saying: “Excluding our- On Tuesday, Cambridge Stand Up To count as a ‘new’ form of racism. selves from a system that allows the Racism held a discussion on the rise of Before the discussion began, Lewis mobility of staff and students, losing Islamophobia at King’s College enti- Herbert, the leader of Cambridge that ability to attract the brightest tled ‘Islamophobia: e New Racism’. City Council, made some brief com- minds from our nearest-neighbouring e panel, slightly changed from the ments. Bringing greetings from Daniel countries and from our nearest col- advertised line-up, included Bengali Zeichner MP and Richard Howitt laborators, would impoverish us – in author and Liberal Democrat coun- MEP, he described his pride at being every sense.” cillor for East Chesterton Shahida involved in the Cambridge groups He also raised questions as to wheth- Rahman, NUS Black Students’ Offi cer which have travelled to Calais. er the UK could manage major health Malia Bouattia, Cambridge University CamCRAG’s Dan Ellis would later initiatives given that in the past it has Calais Refugee Action Group follow this up with his own story of relied on collaboration with other (CamCRAG) member Dan Ellis, and going to ‘the Jungle’ and building shel- European nations in working towards Zak Cochrane, a member of Stand Up ters, remembering that “the spirit of the treatment of diseases like Ebola. To Racism’s standing committee. cooperation was intense”. However, In February, Borysiewicz joined 102 e panellists’ observations ranged he also remarked that they were likely other university leaders in writing an from everyday anti-Muslim harass- among the many shelters destroyed in open letter urging voters to refl ect ment, with Ms Rahman sharing her the recent forced evictions in Calais. The discussion at King’s ranged from austerity to terrorism upon the “vital role the EU plays in sup- personal experiences of Islamophobia porting our world-class universities”. on the doorstep, to broader remarks a disgusting auction over who can at- belief that “there should be no un- Last October, Varsity reported on from Cochrane on the parallels be- tack refugees the most.” A similar con- governed spaces where Prevent isn’t the warning he gave that Brexit could tween hate-speech towards Muslims cern was also raised by a gentleman active”, mentioning the introduction disadvantage British scientifi c research and the abuse which the fi rst South from the People’s Assembly Against of cameras in prayer rooms. Bouattia and development. Asian immigrants were subject to in PREVENT...WAS LABELLED Austerity, who believed that it was all suggested that the programme was Varsity also reported that he has ar- the 1970s. ‘STATE-SPONSORED tied into the Conservative Party’s eco- damaging, dividing communities and gued that the success of British univer- e event was supported by a range nomic agenda, saying that anti-ter- fuelling Islamophobia within educa- sities should not be put at risk in the of left-wing causes, whose banners and ISLAMOPHOBIA’ BY BOUATTIA rorism “greased the wheels of hatred” tional institutions by turning educa- name of “short-term electoral success” posters decorated almost the entirety against immigrants. tors into informants and students into fuelled by a “political debate on immi- of the Keynes Hall stage; from unions Perhaps most relevant to the uni- suspects. One sixth-form teacher in gration ... based on fear and emotion”. (NUT, TUC) to anti-racist groups However, Herbert also had con- versity was the critique of the Prevent the audience agreed, calling for a ‘boy- Writing in the Financial Times on (Stand Up To Racism, Love Music cerns, specifi cally about the potential programme by Malia Bouattia. cott’ of the Prevent programme within Tuesday, the Universities Minister Jo Hate Racism), as well as Stop the War consequences of the upcoming EU Prevent, the government’s anti-terror schools. Johnson said: “Anyone who wants to and the Green Party. e infl uence of referendum increasing the incidence agenda, was labelled “state-sponsored “For Muslim students,” Bouattia know whether we should leave the this ideological bent was noticeable, of Islamophobia. He predicted that Islamophobia” by Bouattia, who argued noted, “there truly will be no respite EU should speak to Boris. with the conversation punctuated “over the next few months there’s go- that universities were not hotbeds of from the storm of Islamophobia that “I mean, of course, the vice-chan- with a variety of politicised themes, ing to be a polarising split-off eff ect”. radicalisation. She expressed concern greets them in all other sections of cellor of the University of Cambridge, from austerity to terrorism. Cochrane said: “We’re going to see about the government’s supposed society”. Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz.”

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*Please note Student discount only applies to selected products in store. Valid in UK Staples Stores only. Present valid student ID card at point of purchase to receive discount. Valid on everything except PC’s, laptops, notebooks, hard drives, Ink & toner, Amazon Kindle, Kobo, Apple products, digital cameras, Easytech and warranty, postage stamps and gift cards. Not valid on prior purchases or exchange items. Not Valid on DHL service point. Only a maximum of two of the same items per transaction. Valid from 1st March – 31st March 2016. 6 News Friday 4th March 2016 An ever-closer Union? Harry Curtis meets the Cambridge Union presidential candidates – but what separates them?

is term’s Cambridge Union elec- By contrast, Petter said that mov- impact on membership and it’s there- debating side of the society. tions see three candidates vying for ing away from a model where you can fore probably quite a good time to be For Petter, the best chance for the the coveted President’s chair, with only buy membership with one lump looking at new alternatives.” Union has to challenge the percep- Joshua Ellis Asia Lambert of Newnham, Joshua payment is “the sort of thing that, if Away from the option of instal- tion of it being a clique will come in Ellis of Queens’, and Charlotte Petter you don’t try, you won’t know”. ments, the candidates all expressed an Michaelmas, which gives the issue Josh is the current Speakers Offi cer of Murray Edwards all in the running. “ e way you could negate or mini- interest in paving the way for mem- particular signifi cance at this election. and intends to launch a Union app Varsity spoke to all three this week mise potential losses,” she went on, “is bership fees to come down in the long complete with photos, news, in- to uncover what sets each apart from to do it by two instalments – one in term. formation and a calendar. He also their rivals. Michaelmas and one in Lent, with a “My hope is that, as President work- aims to raise £9,000 for the Union higher instalment in Michaelmas” and ing with the longer-term members through advertising online mem- Membership Fees “incentives to buy in full if you can, like of the Union staff , I can put in place bership, which is available to any- eligibility for the Freshers’ Ball … only a strategy that can look to eventually MAKING SURE PEOPLE SEE body for £30 a year. being available if you’ve paid in full.” reduce fees,” said Ellis, who had per- Lambert seemed unlikely to budge haps the most ambitious plans for THEM AS 'JUST NORMAL While there didn’t seem to be much on the issue, however, saying that “the impacting what happens to member- STUDENTS' diff erence of opinion, one of the problem I have with it is because you ship fees beyond his term-long tenure, Asia Lambert strongest points of contention be- cannot fundamentally guarantee that envisioning fees halving over the next tween the candidates was on the per- you are going to get that second instal- 10 years, returning to where they were Asia is a former Ents Offi cer at the ennial issue of whether they would ment when you’re planning your budg- a decade ago. “[In Michaelmas] you have new Union (Michaelmas 2015). She says lower membership fees for the Union, et for the year ahead in Michaelmas. freshers, new faces who are poten- that she will work with the Ents Of- which currently stand at £199 for life “[During Michaelmas] you decide tially aren’t aware of any stereotypes fi cer to put on events at the start of membership. what Lent gets, what Easter gets, what or any stigmas that other people in term to welcome members back to While there was a broad consensus next Michaelmas gets, and a lot of your Challenging Perceptions Cambridge may already feel are at- the Union. Asia also promises that that it would inappropriate for who- budget is going to rely on speculative tached to the Union,” she said. “It’s the Union building won't become ever ends up being President next money coming in which you cannot your best chance to turn over a new “a home for corporations” as it en- Michaelmas to promise a reduction guarantee will be there.” Varsity also asked the candidates leaf and make sure people don’t hold ters redevelopment. in the price of membership, Petter did e candidates’ interest in a pay- about the common perception among anything against you.” propose a more ambitious plan than ment-by-instalment model went be- some sections of the student body in On what specifi cally she would do the other two candidates, who said yond the fi nances of both the Union Cambridge that the Union is quite in- to sell the Union to a new cohort of that she “would try to implement pay- and its prospective members. sular and often appears more than a freshers, Petter indicated that she Charlotte Petter ment plan instalments”. little cliquey. would place an emphasis on events e idea of allowing prospective While acknowledging that this is targeted at freshers at the start of the Charlotte is the current Treasurer members of the Union to pay the still the case, Ellis was quick to praise term. and plans to introduce a number hefty membership fee in smaller in- the incumbent President, James Hutt, A more specifi c proposal, from of subsidised or free “sponsored stalments is one that has been thrown INTEREST IN PAVING THE “for widening the participation at the Lambert, was for a “freshers’ brunch”, memberships”, and wants to make around in the past as a means of en- Union incredibly”, saying that under the rationale being that “some colleges the election process more accessi- hancing the appeal and accessibility of WAY FOR MEMBERSHIP FEES Hutt’s leadership, he feels as if they don’t have high levels of membership ble. She also wants to increase the the Cambridge Union. However, it is “appointed a diverse group of people”. … so making sure that, as a new mem- profi le of the Women’s and Diver- one that is met by many with a great TO COME DOWN He also voiced his intention to contin- ber, you get to know the people who sity Offi cers. deal of scepticism. ue the new colleges committee, which are going to be in the building all the On the possibility of payment by keeps people who missed out on ap- time, but also other people whom you instalment, Lambert especially was While Lambert voiced concern over pointed roles involved in the Union. might decide to meet up with and go have said ‘you know what, no, we’re too incredibly wary, saying that it would what planning uncertainties would Beyond continuing initiatives that to a talk with even if you’re not other- scared to do this, we’re not going to’.” If “create instability” and that a situation mean for the speakers the Union have been put in motion by Hutt and wise socially connected.” anything, I think the Union emerged where “you’ve got half the money now could potentially invite and the events his committee, Ellis suggested replac- Lambert also echoed Ellis by saying more resilient, strong and sticking to and you’re hoping you’re going to get they could hold, Petter pointed to the ing an emergency debate with “debat- that while there is still a perception what it stands for more proudly than half in six months’ time but can’t guar- potential insecurity that the upcoming ers who have been to the workshops to that if you’re President of the Union before.” antee it” would prevent the committee redevelopment of the Union building showcase what they’ve learnt”, which “maybe you’re a guy and you went to at the Union emerged stronger from being able to confi dently plan for could bring: “I know that a lot of the he argues would serve to encourage Eton”, this is a stereotype that is out- after the Assange referendum was the future. staff are worried about the potential more people to get involved with the dated and needs to be challenged. a sentiment with which Lambert Pointing out that she doesn’t have strongly agreed. “this privileged background” and went to a state school, Lambert also said that a degree of the responsibility fell LOUIS ASHWORTH on the President and committee mak- ing sure people see them as “just nor- mal students”. THE UNION EMERGED STRONGER AFTER THE Free Speech ASSANGE REFERENDUM

Asked whether issues such no-plat- forming and safe spaces had any bear- She added that “we’re all increas- ing on this contest, the candidates ingly more committed to making were all keen to stress the Union’s decisions about these kinds of issues commitment to free speech and said collectively”, though stressed that that, despite the referendum over the Union has always had a lengthy, whether Julian Assange should have careful and rigorous process when it been invited last term, the growing comes to inviting speakers. prominence of these ideas have not Petter reasserted that the Union is changed much behind the scenes. “fundamentally a free speech society.” Current Speakers Offi cer, Josh Ellis, “It really has to be a case-by-case said that while “the referendum was a discussion depending on the individ- fantastic idea in the sense we had to ual you’re inviting and also depend- think long and hard about people’s ing on the mood and feel – both of feelings”, there was “nobody on my Cambridge and general society – to The trio of Union grandees vying for President in today's elections list [of potential invitees] that I would that individual.” Friday 4th March 2016 News 7 Cambridge has taken in fewer Reclaim the Night 2016: than 10 Syrian refugees marching to end sexual violence El zabeth Howcroft binary people are denied that right every single day. S yang We Sen or News Correspondent “We live in a culture where sex- Sen or News Correspondent WORLD BANK ism is dismissed as casual banter, and Women and non-binary students will women’s bodies are treated as public march through the streets of Cam- property. Reclaim the Night is a pub- It has been revealed by the City Coun- bridge this Sunday as part of the ‘Re- lic demonstration against this, and a cil that fewer than 10 Syrian refugees claim the Night’ campaign. public show of support for all those have been housed in Cambridge. e event encourages unity “in aff ected.” Lewis Herbert, Leader of Cambridge a stand of solidarity to end sexual City Council, admitted that, despite a violence, harassment and oppres- prior commitment to and preparations sion”, stating one of its aims as being for housing a minimum of 50 refugees, to “Reclaim the night. Reclaim the a smaller number than expected have A camp for Syrian refugees in Jordan streets. Reclaim it all.” arrived seeking accommodation in the Chants from the pre-released song WE HOPE TO SEND A MESSAGE City. although this fi gure includes proper- of thousand pounds” should be given sheet include: “Whatever we wear, He said: “ e actual number of ties that are privately owned by land- to the Cambridge Ethnic Community wherever we go, yes means yes, and no Syrian refugees we have is small; it’s lords, as well as council houses. Forum, a local charity, to fi nd answers means no.” and “2, 3, 4 We won’t take under 10. e number is small com- “We have so many people willing to to the questions of “what the city could it anymore! 5, 6, 7, 8 No more violence! Beginning at Christ’s Pieces, there pared to other parts of Britain and we help”, she added. “ e city has the re- be doing better and why we have so No more hate!” will be speeches from 5:45 to 6 p.m. are keen to understand the issue.” sources to help. I don’t think the Home few [refugee families] at the moment.” is comes after a Cambridge News is will be followed by a 45-minute Councillor Herbert claimed that the Offi ce is listening to the people of this He added: “We [the City Council] report last month noted that there march, going down from Christ’s situation was due to the Home Offi ce, country or this city on this. can help when we are asked but we were 1,270 sexual off ences reported in Pieces to St Andrew’s Street, up Sidney which is currently responsible for re- “Plenty of people are coming for- specifi cally need to understand what Cambridgeshire in the year September Street towards the Round Church, settling 20,000 refugees as part of the ward to help. We are ready.” people’s needs are so we can properly 2014 to September 2015, a 15 per cent then down St John’s Street, through Vulnerable Person Relocation (VPR) Leonie Anna Mueck, also from the address them. We want to work with increase on the previous year. Trinity Lane and King’s Parade, and scheme, was simply not sending them CRRC, shared this sentiment, reveal- the Home Offi ce and will continue to Speaking to Cambridge News, fi nishing at the top of Silver Street. to the city; he believes the reasons for ing that there are more volunteers of- help them.” CUSU Women’s Offi cer Charlotte Although the march itself is only this “could be the cost of living or a fering to help than there are refugees. A spokesperson for the Home Chorley said: “Reclaim the Night 2016 open to self-identifying women and lack of housing”, but added again that “ is is a very low number [of refu- Offi ce said that “there has been a tre- is as relevant today as it was 30 years non-binary people, all are welcome to they were still “keen to understand the gees], especially when we look at other mendous amount of goodwill from ago – and we should be so angry about attend the vigil afterwards, which will issues”. places,” she said. “Cambridge is a rich local authorities and the private, non- this. As always, we hope to show a take place at the University Centre in is is despite a number of cam- city that can welcome more people. governmental and voluntary sectors stand of solidarity for all of those af- Granta Place and consist of speeches paigns within Cambridge set up in at is the message we want to send to as well as from individuals across the fected by sexual harassment and sex- and spoken-word performances. order to help refugees, such as the the Home Offi ce. ere is a wonderful UK.” ey added: “We are very grate- ual violence.” e march, which takes place once a Cambridge Refugee Resettlement bunch of people in Cambridge eager ful for Cambridge City Council’s sup- She added: “We hope to send a mes- year, is Cambridge’s equivalent of the Campaign (CRRC). According to to give sanctuary.” port and will continue to work with sage to everyone that we are here, and national women’s Reclaim the Night Camila Iturra at the CRRC, the situ- At a council budget meeting on them to identify further opportunities we are strong, and we deserve the march, which has been organised by ation is “very frustrating” because “we Monday, Councillor Herbert sug- to resettle [refugee] families as part of space to live our lives freely, safely and the London Feminist Network since have 3,000 properties standing empty”, gested that a small grant of “a couple the VPR scheme.” happily. Too many women and non- 2004.

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01223462226 or visit us at www.kelseykerridge.co.uk Discover the world at Leiden University 8 News Friday 4th March 2016 Rusbridger: Snowden was ‘hardest story of my life’ Eddy Wax extent about pretending to be more knowledgeable than you really are. News Correspondent EDDY WAX “ ose nights when you’re staying up all night thinking: ‘shit, I’ve got a Perched on a desk, Alan Rusbridger tutorial tomorrow, I’ve got to get this was softly-spoken and relaxed as he essay done’ – I didn’t know it at the talked students through the twists and time, but actually all that was fantastic turns of one of the biggest stories of preparation for what it’s like to be in a our time, which implicated the CIA newsroom.” and GCHQ in extensive internet and Rather than becoming involved in phone surveillance and even led to student journalism Rusbridger started Guardian journalists smashing up writing for the Cambridge Evening their own hard-drives at the request News during the holidays, and being of British security services. paid for it. From the moment Edward Snowden got in contact with him, the former Guardian editor, a Cambridge alum- nus, knew that the case was highly unique. In the fi rst place, nothing was normally ever leaked from the NSA. MAGDALENE WAS ‘THE THICK In fact, it was colloquially known as COLLEGE’ “none such agency”. “ e fi rst decision was whether we should go and meet him in person but already we were skirting around the “You’d pick up a copy of Varsity or law, wondering whether we were being Stop Press at the time and it would be hacked ourselves.  e Espionage Act full of articles about Nicaragua and it in the States has no defence, as with wasn’t what did it for me, but I did love the Offi cial Secrets Act in Britain.” working on the Cambridge Evening  e stakes were incredibly high. News, which was about something “Anything to do with National Guardian sort of very tangible, local and real.” Security is about as hard as it gets in The former editor appeared at St Catharine’s College on Monday “I’d tried all kinds of jobs to earn journalism.  e ease with which the money during the holidays: bottle state could attack you is not hard to can neither confi rm nor deny its Vietnam War.  ough the US govern- IRA was active, with bombs going off washing, painting and decorating, imagine but we were also aware that existence. ment tried to stop e New York Times all over London, it is not like that at all picking tomatoes, but the brilliant if we spilt the wrong secrets, terrorists He was even hauled in front of the from publishing, the Supreme Court these days.” thing is that you can go and sit in a could get hold of them,” he said. Home Aff airs Select Committee in ruled in the latter’s favour. According to Rusbridger, the gov- newsroom and people will pay you Rusbridger was shocked to fi nd that 2013 and asked if he loved his country “ e debate over Edward Snowden ernment is taking advantage of the to ring people up and ask them ques- it was not just the British government by the MP Keith Vaz. He was report- in Britain has been pretty pathetic perceived threat to increase its own tions. I thought: ‘this is wonderful.’” that did not want his paper to publish ing this precisely because he loved his but it has been more grown up in the powers when in reality most terror Now the Principal of Lady Margaret the leaked documents. Some of those country, he said. US because of the protection of the attacks come from people who are al- Hall, Oxford, that passion for jour- whom he respected in journalism Ellsberg case.” ready on the government agencies’ ra- nalism has never left him, even if the thought that they should not publish  e end result, as Rusbridger was dars. So, if anything, they need more world of journalism has changed al- what the state did not want them to at pains to point out, was that the sky resources, not more powers, he said. most beyond recognition since his publish. did not fall in, despite all the opposi- In an interview afterwards, student days. “But surely journalism must be tion and scaremongering. “ at was Rusbridger talked about his time “ ere is lots of soul-destroying separate from the state or it is noth- ‘WE’RE GOING TO SMASH UP the hardest story of my life but we studying English at Cambridge and work that goes out in the name of jour- ing,” he said. published it and journalism prompted how it had prepared him for a career nalism these days, but then there’s lots He went on to describe how in the YOUR COMPUTERS’ a debate which Cameron, Obama and in journalism. In his time, Rusbridger of inspiring work as well and people US and in Britain there are two very the spy chiefs have all now agreed we recounted, Magdalene was “the thick who risk their lives and do incredibly diff erent kinds of relationship between needed to have.” college”. brave things. Generally in life I like to the state and journalism. Taking questions from the fl oor, he “Reading English at Cambridge look on the optimistic side and think In Britain someone from the gov- In America, however, the culture is called for a sense of proportion about you’d have to do Shelley or Dickens in about the good examples.” ernment called him up and told him “friendlier” towards journalists, part- the threat that Britain faces at the mo- a week and there was no way on earth But did he enjoy his years under in- fl atly: “We’re going to smash up your ly, as Rusbridger sees it, because of ment, for example from terrorists. I was ever going to read three Dickens tense pressure as Guardian editor as computers.”  ere was no debate and the consequences of the 1971 Daniel “You need to keep a sense of his- novels. So you became quite adept at much as writing colourful pieces as a no discussion. One could be directly Ellsberg case. tory. We’re not in the Vietnam War. absorbing all the sources in order to student? looking at a certain document only In this case, a former US military an- We haven’t had an existential threat produce a plausible essay at the end of “I’ve enjoyed every day of my life as to be repeatedly told by a govern- alyst leaked papers which showed how to the nation. Bloody awful things are the week.  at’s actually quite a good a journalist, there’s never been a time ment offi cial on the phone that they the country had been misled about the happening but compared to when the training because journalism is to some when I’ve got bored of it.” Caius launches Medicine shadowing scheme

Esha Marwaha tions in the profession. who were concerned by the challenges volunteering in a care home and shad- medical families how to maximise Based on CUSU’s Shadowing facing state school pupils who may owing a physiotherapist. their chances of getting in and to ad- Sen or News Correspondent Scheme, which provides students at have diffi culty getting into the medical He remarked that participating in vise them about how to get work expe- schools with a low Oxbridge intake profession. the access scheme “made me realise rience without contacts. A lot of stu- Gonville and Caius College has with an opportunity to experience  e Caius scheme is being devised, that it would be achievable to study dents told me that before they came launched a Medicine shadowing Cambridge for three days, Caius’s organised and run entirely by stu- Medicine in Cambridge and, from they felt they wouldn’t fi t in, but now, scheme, off ering opportunities for scheme was the brainchild of two dents. 20 potential applicants were then on, I just concentrated on getting having been here, they felt that they state school students lacking connec- Gonville and Caius Medicine students given the chance to spend three days the grades.” would apply.” at the college, residing in undergradu- With a reputation for Medicine, ac- ate accommodation, attending super- cepting approximately 25 students per visions and lectures. Each undergrad- year, Caius has the greatest intake of uate is assigned a student to shadow medics. Research by the Sutton Trust, and looked after them, with students however, shows that of Britain’s top giving up their rooms for pupils. CAIUS HAS THE GREATEST doctors, 61 per cent were privately  e aim is to give practical advice INTAKE OF MEDICS educated, nearly a quarter at gram- and show potential applicants that mar schools and only 16 per cent at Cambridge students were “not all comprehensives. posh boys in red trousers”. As a very competitive course, Michael Turnbull-King, 17, from Advertise with us Luke Bibby, President of Gonville Medicine is often dominated by stu- Tring School, a comprehensive in and Caius MedSoc, said that he dents who attended highly-academic Hertfordshire, said: “It has been re- To advertise in any of our print publications or on our website, “thought it would be great to show selective schools. ally good to attend real lectures and please contact our Business Manager sixth-formers what it is really like to Ellie Walder, MedSoc’s Access supervisions. I had no idea what they study medicine at Cambridge”. Bibby, Offi cer, emphasised it was “much eas- entailed. It has been really useful to Telephone: 01223 337575 who went to a state school, attended ier to get work experience if you have experience what it would be like […] Email: [email protected] an access scheme at the college in Year a close relative or family friend in the because it’s very diff erent to school. 12 and was the fi rst in his family to medical profession.” It’s also made me realise that as long Website: www.varsitypublications.co.uk go to university. Unable to get work She added: “I wanted to show state as I can get the grades I have as good a experience in a hospital, he ended up school students who don’t come from chance as anyone to get in.” Friday 4th March 2016 News 9

HARRY POTTER StaR viSitS CambRidGe ColleGe News in Brief miriam margolyes visits State oF the NatioN maRathoN ReCoveRy taCkliNG Food poveRty Newnham students oxbridge failing Collapsed half- Cambridge Harry Potter actress Miriam Margolyes vis- ited her alma mater, Newnham College, state school marathon runners students launch earlier this week to discuss her time at uni- versity and her long and successful acting pupils recovering Foodbank Society career. Margolyes, who read English at Cambridge, Oxford and Bristol are Two men who were taken to Adden- Cambridge students are to launch a Cambridge and matriculated in 1960, the three worst universities for ac- brooke’s Hospital in a critical condi- new Foodbank Society today. took part in a CV clinic run by the cepting state school students, ac- tion after collapsing near the end of he newly-formed university group, Associates, a group of high-proile alum- cording to the State of the Nation the Cambridge Half Marathon are out which has grown to over 300 members nae who ofers workshops, guidance and report by the Social Mobility and of intensive care. since the beginning of the year, aims to support to current Newnham students. CAMBRIDGE NEWS Child Poverty Commission. he patients, one in his 30s and the combat food waste across the universi- She told students: “Newnham was the begin- It stated that Cambridge would other in his 50s, were seen receiving ty and seeks to help in the ight against ning of me. Being at Cambridge was like being at need to increase its proportion of CPR near the inish line of Sunday’s food poverty. drama school. state school pupils by 18 per cent to half-marathon, after both sufered car- Daniel Zeichner MP is launching “I owe everything to Cambridge. he friends I made at Newnham reach the HESA benchmark. diac arrest. the society today at St John’s College. are still my friends today.”

CambRidGe FeelS the beRN ReGeNi CaSe developS he Week in Numbers democrats Giulio Regeni abroad primary interrogated in goes to Sanders Cairo ‘for days’ Percentage turnout in this year’s CUSU elections he Democrats Abroad primary, Giulio Regeni, the Girton PhD 15.7 which ofers members of the Demo- student found murdered in the cratic primary living outside of the Egyptian capital in January, may US an opportunity to vote, took plaec have been interrogated “for days”, at Cambridge on Tuesday at the same according to an Egyptian forensics he maximum amount the CUSU presidential candidates time as Super Tuesday took place in oicial. 24 states across the Republican and he autopsy on Regeni’s body re- £150 were allowed to spend on their respective campaigns Democratic races. vealed that he had been burned with Despite widespread victories for cigarettes, reportedly a hallmark of Hillary Clinton in seven of the states, the Egyptian security services, over Cambridge voters preferred Vermont a period of days, in a manner con- he amount of money that UK science received from the Senator Bernie Sanders by 82 votes sistent with an interrogation or an to 48, with one uncontested. attempt to extract information. €7bn EU in research funding between 2007 and 2013 10 News Friday 4th March 2016 Fitzwilliam Museum thieves brought to justice

Kaya Wong Organised Crime Agency. Adrian Green from Durham anywhere between £18 million and caught and convicted by local offi cers. “ e series of burglaries last year Constabulary, said: “I am extremely £57 million.  is illustrates just how Sen or News Correspondent What followed was a very long and had a profound eff ect on museums pleased with the verdicts passed today massively profi table this trade was complex investigation to capture and and similar institutions and we are and over the previous year. viewed by the gang. bring to justice those who commis- An organised crime ring orchestrating committed to bringing all those who “Because of the variations which can “All the hard work put in by every- sioned and planned the jobs. I hope raids on museums and auction houses were involved in the conspiracy to be given by auction houses the total one involved has paid off . Firstly, those this sends out a message that nobody – including the Fitzwilliam Museum justice. value of the items targeted comes to that carried out the burglaries were is untouchable.” in Cambridge – has been convicted. “Many of the stolen Chinese arte- Between January and April 2012, a facts are still outstanding and a sub- total of fi ve cases of robbery, burglary, stantial reward remains on off er for theft and attempted theft occurred information which leads to the safe across four diff erent venues: Durham return of those priceless items.” University Oriental Museum, Norwich In June 2012, supported by ANDREW DUNN Castle Museum in Norfolk, Gorringes the National Crime Agency and Auction House in East Sussex, and the National Police Chief’s Council, Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge. the Cambridgeshire and Durham Security at the Fitzwilliam was Constabularies jointly launched tightened after the break-in in April ‘Operation Griffi n’ to carry out an in- 2012, during which £15 million worth vestigation into the conspiracy. A total of Chinese jade and rhinoceros horns of 14 men were charged in connection were stolen.  e incident was de- with all six incidents. scribed by the former acting director Last Friday, following an eight-week of the museum as having tarnished the trial at Birmingham Crown Court, museum’s reputation as a “guardian of Daniel ‘Turkey’ O’Brien, 45, John treasures”. ‘Kerry’ O’Brien, 26, Michael Hegarty, Local police launched their respec- 43, and Richard ‘Kerry’ O’Brien tive investigations, and a number of Junior, 31, all from Cambridgeshire people were convicted for the crimes. but with links to Rathkeale in Ireland, However, it was soon apparent that were found guilty of conspiracy to the incidents were connected and steal. Eight other men, aged between organised by a criminal group that 33 and 68, from Cambridgeshire, commissioned the jobs. Even though London, Southend-on-Sea and much of the stolen property has been Wolverhampton, were found guilty at recovered, several high-value items three previous trials, all at Birmingham are still missing. Chief Constable Mick Crown Court. Two others, one aged 28 Creedon, leader of the Association of from Kent, and the other aged 46 from Chief Police Offi cers for organised Belfast, pleaded guilty to the charges crime, said that the conviction “fol- in March last year and January this lows a long and complex pan-Euro- year. pean investigation involving offi cers Senior Investigating Offi cer for the £15 million of artwork was stolen from the museum in 2012 from 26 police forces and the Serious operation, Detective Superintendent Newnham appoints new honorary fellows Wolfson PhD student

Anna Men n matriculated in 1977. Deputy News Ed tor While at Cambridge, she wrote convicted of child sex and performed in the fi rst all-women Footlights show, before going on to act Sandi Toksvig and Baroness Rabbi and present after graduating. abuse Julia Neuberger have been elected as She hosted e News Quiz on BBC Honorary Fellows of Newnham Col- Radio 4 for nine years, and was recent- UNIVERSITY OF PORTSMOUTH in boys, which stems from your time at lege. ly announced as the new host of “QI”, Joe Rob nson school, your parents have left the area Neuberger was Britain’s second taking over from Stephen Fry later this Sen or News Ed tor [Essex] distraught at what they have female rabbi, and the fi rst to have year. come to know of. You have left the vic- her own synagogue, and is currently Toksvig also co-founded the tim’s family distraught and destroyed a Senior Rabbi of the West London Women’s Equality Party last year, and A Cambridge PhD student has by what you have done to their son. Synagogue. is currently Chancellor of Portsmouth been convicted of sexually abusing “ e boy didn’t say anything to any- She read Oriental Studies at University. an 11-year-old boy and handed an one; he didn’t discuss it. He went away Newnham, matriculating in 1969, be- Speaking after the announcement, 18-month jail term. and spent the next few years strug- fore completing a Rabbinic Diploma at Toksvig said that she was “honoured 39-year-old Tobias Moncaster, gling. His siblings and his parents all Leo Beck College, London. Neuberger and not a little overwhelmed to join who had been studying for a PhD at had years of trying to uncover your was appointed DBE in 2004, and was the illustrious list of women associ- Wolfson College in 2011, was found abuse.” made a Life Peer in the same year. ated with Newnham.” guilty of the off ence, which took place In June last year, Neuberger was “ e education and advancement in Colchester in 2008. also awarded an Honorary Doctorate of women has long been a passionate  e victim, however, only came for- of Divinity by the University of cause for me and I look forward to a ward to tell police about the abuse in Cambridge. lifelong association with the college 2013. Toksvig is also a Cambridge alum- and its members”, she added. Sandi Toksvig In 2009, Moncaster pleaded guilty AN AWFUL LOT OF PEOPLE na, who gained a fi rst-class degree Both women are expected to attend to several charges of sexually touching in Archaeology and Anthropology a special ceremony at Newnham later a boy under 13 and to possessing inde- DAMAGED IN YOUR WAKE and Law from Girton College. She this year. cent images. For these off ences, he was given a community order and required to She continued: “Your predilection attend a sex off enders’ programme, for teenage boys leaves an awful lot which he completed. of people damaged in your wake, Mr BRITISH PROVINCE OF CARMELITES Addressing Moncaster last  ursday Moncaster.” at Chelmsford Crown Court, Judge Dr Jane McLarty, Senior Tutor of Emma Peters criticised Moncaster for Wolfson College, told Varsity: “Toby his actions and the damage they had Moncaster has been convicted of a caused. historic off ence, committed some She also imposed a fi ve-year sexual years before he became a member of harm prevention ban order, which this College in 2011. prohibits him from unsupervised con- “ e College was not aware of Mr tact with boys under 16, and bans him Moncaster’s previous conviction when from social media. he became a member. As she passed sentence, she said: “As soon as we were informed of “You caused great desolation and de- it, a full risk assessment was carried struction to this young boy by your ac- out and we have monitored him on a tions. You touched his genitalia.” very regular basis throughout his time Baroness Neuberger She added: “Because of your interest here.” Friday 4th March 2016 Science 11 Picks of the Cambridge Science Festival

N cole Ross des conference wearing the Oculus Rift Institute, Wellcome Genome Cam- informatics Institute, explores the op- (insert animal here) conscious? Can Headgear set. He, among many oth- pus,  e Gurdon Institute (founded portunities and challenges of big data robots become conscious? Philoso- Sc ence Ed tor ers, has advocated for virtual reality by the Wellcome Trust and Cancer in healthcare, from genomics to high- pher Professor Tim Crane and neuro- as the next medium for communica- Research UK), and  e Babraham resolution imaging. scientist Dr Srivas Chennu will strive ’Tis almost the end of term and you tion in which we can immerse our- Institute promises to be a discussion to make the answer as thought-pro- feel like your brain is about to im- selves into any experience we wish. you won’t see anywhere else. A panel Miscellaneous & Quirky voking and unreachable as possible. (I plode. You can’t bear to submit an-  is talk, presented with Siemens In- of biomedical research experts will Eating less meat for planetary and only kid…but not really.) other piece of supervision work and dustry Software Limited, introduces respond to questions on the com- population health: Government you’re starting to get sick of learning. the year 2020 as the age of the digital plexities of personalised medicine and policy or your choice? (9th March)  e science of out-of-body experi- But wait! Just before you go home twin. All the latest technology, such as stem cell research, as well as the use A strange, but interesting question. ences (19th March) and sink into your bed for a week, it’s supersonic cars and spaceships, has of big data for diagnostics and drug Meat production is predicted to dou- Dr Jane Aspell from the Department of worth checking out the Science Festi- been cloned in a virtual world. It aims development. ble by 2050, despite the rise of vegan Psychology at Anglia Ruskin Univer- val, beginning on Monday 7th March. to explore how digital twins will help culture, and the panel will explore the sity will use neuroscience to explain With more than 350 events crammed us create, improve, and simulate their role that policies could (and should) out-of-body experiences, in terms of into two weeks (yes, you read that real-world counterparts. play in changing what people eat for how the brain creates the experience right), it would be a downright shame our own benefi t. of one’s self inhabiting a body. Even if to miss it. Activities range from talks Turing’s imitation game (10th you’re not convinced, isn’t it enough to exhibitions to performances to March) Beyond Images (7th-19th March) to intrigue you to go anyway? hands-on activities that are simple, Continuing the theme of the power  is exhibition consists entirely of yet engaging and unashamedly fun. I of AI, Professor Kevin Warwick will images produced by conservation  e scientifi c secrets of Doctor Who understand that choosing which ones demonstrate how hard it can be to technologies, such as 3D scanning (19th March) to go to from a booklet that’s 88 pages tell the diff erence between human systems, Geographic Information Yup, there’s something even for the long may be too mentally straining at and machine using the Turing test. Systems (GIS), electron-microscopy, die-hard Whovians. Using clips from this time of year, so never fear – I’ve In conversation, it can be very easy to BRYAN JONES aerial drones and GPS tracking. It the TV series, Dr Marek Kukula and done the work for you. Book fast! confuse machine for human and even should be interesting to see how these Simon Guerrier will show how Doctor vice versa. You can even try the test foreign ‘cold’ terms can be translated Who uses science to tell its complex Artifi cial Intelligence for yourself – you’ll fi nally fi nd out into something appealing to the eye. stories of space and time-travel. (But Will artifi cial intelligence be superi- whether you’re secretly a robot. How big data analysis is changing An interesting collaboration between they probably won’t be able to explain or to the human brain? (7th March) how we understand the living world the arts and sciences for pragmatists what made Clara Oswald “the Impos-  is year’s theme is Artifi cial Intelli- (15th March) and dreamers alike. ( ere’s also the sible Girl”. Too timey-wimey.)  ey gence and Big Data, and this talk will “Data has never been easier, or cheap- chance to meet the conservationists claim to show how close it has come serve as a great introduction to the er, to collect or store”, says Dr Clare Dy- who employ these techniques on a to predicting future scientifi c discov- power of AI. More jobs are being tak- er-Smith of Cambridge Big Data. Big daily basis.) eries – it’s up to you to fi nd out wheth- en over by AI, but will AI ever be su- Data has the potential to be accessible er that’s such a far-fetched idea. Don’t perior to the human brain? How can to all of us, one day. Currently, anyone More science pranks (14th March) blink, or you just might miss it. it benefi t our society without causing can monitor and measure themselves Steve Mould from BBC One’s Britain’s the downfall of mankind, if that is using fi tness apps on iPhones (and Brightest will do plenty of science ex- even possible? AI experts and neuro- Apple Watches for the richer among periments that will amaze you – or scientists go head to head in this dis- us). Genome sequencing is more ac- at least amuse you if you’re a know- cussion. Replicating the human brain cessible than ever to those who are it-all undergraduate. Check out his with all its complexities is quite pos- SAAD FARUQUE curious about their ancestry, and the YouTube channel if you don’t believe sibly the hardest feat in neuroscience, ‘100,000 Genomes Project’, led by the me: he does a whole array of stuff and so it should be interesting to see how NHS, aims to create a database fi lled is quite the charmer. AI strives to solve that puzzle. Healthcare with the genomes of 100,000 people Stem cells: Big data and personal- so that rare diseases and untreatable Brain, body and mind: New direc- Designing the Future: Digital Twins ised medicine (10th March) diseases can be diagnosed early and tions in the neuroscience and phi- (9th March) If the mysteries of biology are more treated. Portable DNA sequencers losophy of consciousness (16th

Unless you haven’t been on Facebook your thing, this talk co-hosted by were used to track the Ebola virus March) TARDISPLUS for a while, we’ve all seen Zuckerberg’s the Wellcome Trust, the Medical Re- in western Africa. Ewan Birney FRS,  e defi nition of consciousness is a photo of every member of a Samsung search Council Cambridge Stem Cell Director of the EMBL European Bio- classic question that never gets old. Is To sleep, perchance to gene: advice for next term

ready know that sleep is important dian rhythms, and by extension our ( e production of a gene-specifi c sleep alters the normal rhythms of for brain function – a high-profi le health. Sleep disturbances correlate mRNA is the fi rst step in the infor- not only molecular clocks, but also 2013 Science paper showed that the with mental illness, and the World mation fl ow from a particular gene the myriads of other biological proc- brain uses this time to take out its Health Organisation lists shift work, to the biological process it controls, esses they control. metabolic trash – but we are now also characterised by mistimed sleep, and is one indication that the gene is starting to fi nd that it also aff ects as a probable cause of cancer. (Ar- switched on.)  e take-home message from this is practically every other cell in the guing that overdue assignments and that mistimed sleep makes all sorts body. Sleep too little, or at the wrong PhDs in neuroscience also count is,  e researchers found that during of molecular clocks lose their nor- time, and the eff ect is devastating. however, taking things a bit too far.) the normal cycle, levels of several mal rhythm, eff ectively producing a Understanding precisely how mis- mRNA molecules fl uctuated in a genetic cacophony. Unfortunately,  is is because our bodies normally timed sleep does this has been dif- regular 24-hour cycle.  us, when we still don’t know how long the ge- keep to a built-in schedule, or cir- fi cult, but there is now at least one sleep and biological clocks were in nome – let alone the brain – takes to cadian rhythm.  e rhythm is set study linking disturbed sleep and al- time, the genes corresponding to recover after an all-nighter. Until we by biological timekeepers working tered patterns of gene activity. these mRNAs also had circadian do, it’s worth treating sleep as anoth- together with environmental signals patterns of activity. Some ‘rhyth- er essential nutrient, to be enjoyed like daylight to tell us when to sleep In 2014, Simon Archer and col- mic’ genes controlled the synthesis in the right amount and at the right and eat – though sadly not when to leagues published a PNAS paper of molecular clock proteins – as ex- time. Just like caff eine. study. Crucial to circadian rhythms looking at the eff ect of mistimed pected – while others were involved NEUROPOP are molecular clocks, master regula- sleep on the human genome. To do in immune defence and responses to tors of gene activity that act as on/ this, they had their volunteer sub- stress… which is perhaps something with off switches. Levels of clock proteins jects undergo fi rst a natural 24-hour to consider if you routinely catch

Joy rise and fall in a 24-hour cycle, as sleep/wake cycle, then a 28-hour- Exam Term fl u! does the activity of the genes they long ‘laboratory jet lag’ cycle.  e HARBOE LEIF control. Molecular clocks are found volunteers’ jet-lagged sleeping hab- During the jet lag cycle, however, Thompson all over the body; they are also es- its were completely out of time with many of these genes completely lost sential for proper function of the their central pacemakers, meaning their rhythm, including most mo- body’s master pacemaker, a group of that their biological clock was telling lecular clock genes identifi ed in the Here’s something to think about as neurons in a brain region called the them to sleep when they were awake, ‘normal’ condition.  ey instead re- Easter Term (Oh, inescapable fate!) hypothalamus. and vice versa.  e researchers then mained at the same level of activity, draws nigh: it might not be worth collected blood samples during each independently of both the sleep/wake losing sleep over exam revision. It thus makes sense that altered cycle and compared their content of cycle and the central circadian pace- Wait, don’t stop reading yet! We al- sleeping patterns can disrupt circa- messenger RNA (mRNA) molecules. maker.  is implies that mistimed 12 Interview Friday 4th March 2016

words to it. All varsity introducing my songs have been really wordy, but the most important thing own stuff and with ‘Ophelia’ was this melody that my own ideas of what I had almost no words – [words] just like in music. Sometimes I’ll lis- sort of framed the melody. I then put ten to really bad lyrics, because words to it, and it just happened to be I really like the bass. But to be “Goodnight, sweet ladies, goodnight, honest, in terms of music, it’s goodnight”, from Hamlet. not super infl uential on what I  ere’s like a do – that’s more literature, be- Has Cambridge had an eff ect on weird mix of stuff from cause I study literature. I just your music? age ten and stuff from age couldn’t stop writing about 18. Obviously, stuff that’s books, and wanting to put  e town I came from didn’t have a HOLLY MUSGRAVE is a been reworked – ten-year- almost like fi lm music to huge music scene, so for me it’s magi- singer- studying English old Holly didn’t have great lyr- them, so you could get this cal and huge. I think that the tradi- at Clare. Her fi rst album, Mercury ics [laughs]. But I think there’s atmosphere of a book by tional element of music does help. I Sunrise, was released last year, and she a fi lm of me from when I’m re- listening to like a three- mean, I loved choral music before I has recently performed in Sweeney ally young, from before properly minute song. applied – I almost applied for a choir. Todd, Cambridge University Pops speaking, climbing the stairs,  ere’s so much music in Cambridge, Orchestra’s Broadway at Trinity, writing a song about climbing,  ere was a lot of and one of the great things about the and as a soloist at the Cambridge where I only really knew the word Shakespeare.  ere’s music scene is that there’s lots of peo- University Charity Fashion Show. ‘climbing’. a song on Mercury ple just starting, and experimenting Sunrise called ‘In His with diff erent kinds of music. You get Are you primarily a singer-song- Has musical theatre infl uenced Shoes’ which is kind to see really, really great performers as writer or a musical performer? your song-writing? of about... I don’t they’re just honing what they’re do- know if it was about ing. I don’t think my style’s changed I mean, it’s diffi cult, because they’re It defi nitely has, because I only sang Romeo and Juliet, that much – I probably do most of my two parts of my life that don’t go in a certain way – in a fl oaty way, in a JOHANNES HJORTH or reading Romeo writing at home still. One thing I think completely well together.  ey’re two very acoustic way – before I did musi- and Juliet. A lot of that’s really helped is that, because completely diff erent markets, and cal theatre. As well as giving you the my songs are about reading. Like, everyone’s playing, you have to kind of when I’m doing one, I’m doing one: I confi dence to stand up and sing loud- bit poppy, ‘Ophelia’ isn’t really about Ophelia in fi ght to play. It really helps your confi - don’t write for musical theatre. I think ly, I learned how to belt, I learned how it’s a bit rocky.” It de- Hamlet, it’s about what would happen dence and your bravery. I probably see myself more as a singer- to kind of use my voice in a really pow- pends on how I’m feeling.  e way if we took Ophelia from Hamlet then, songwriter though, just because I’ve erful way, and I wanted to incorporate I’m writing at the moment is slightly and put her into society now, and how What are your plans for the future? been doing it for longer, and because I some of that strength into the music. more rocky, and the stuff that I’m gon- does mental illness work with that, see musical theatre stuff as something So when I was writing ‘Ophelia’, which na put out soon is more on the rock and how does being a woman work Oh... I don’t know. You just have to that’s kind of enhanced my ability to is the fi rst song I wrote while I was in side. But I go through massive periods with that? keep putting stuff out and you have perform as a singer-songwriter. I re- Cambridge, I was like, I want there to of time when I’m only writing folk mu- to keep contacting people, which is ally, really enjoy it, I’d love to do either, be a belty bit, I want there to be this sic. It just depends. How would you go about starting a the only way it works. We had a lot of but I probably just spend more time really loud thing where I can just really song? positive feedback for the fi rst album, writing songs. sing, no matter what the words are. What are your musical inspira- which is really encouraging.  ere’s tions? I usually write in very short bursts, something coming in May, which I When did you start writing songs? How would you describe your when I get fi ve or six songs done in a don’t know how much I’m allowed to sound? I listen to a weird range of music. So week.  en I practise it and develop talk to you about. It’s this song that’s Oooh, this is diffi cult. So when I actu- my upbringing was a weird mixture of it, but the actual songwriting happens been written for a while, we were just ally started writing song-songs, I was It’s a question that I’m always asked, Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush, Pink Floyd... really quickly. With ‘Ophelia’ I had working out what we were going to do probably about ten years old. Some particularly on festival applications. It’s really eclectic. But also, as I’ve grown this melody in my head, there’s this bit to it... I’m really excited about it! of the stuff on the current album really diffi cult, because you can only up, weird pop infl uences from the Top in the chorus that goes, da-dum da- was written when I was about 10, 11. go, “Oh, I dunno, it’s a bit folky, it’s a 40, hearing samples, developing my dum da-da-dum, and has almost no Holly was speaking to Alice Chilcott

Jamie Angus: Cameron ‘saw the opportunity to give us a bit of a slap, so he did’ eo Demolder discusses impartiality, the licence fee, and ‘the beauty of language’ with the editor of the Today programme

Researching Jamie Angus – the edi- claim that he had ‘risen without trace’ between the Savile and McAlpine and isolationist. For Angus, “there’s thought they would and they’re still tor of the Today programme – I was as a “punch the air moment”, Angus scandals. just a lot of aggro around terminol- coming in at a suffi cient rate at the struck that this would be only his notes that the Today role was not an However, previously, he “didn’t do ogy – you know, words really matter. bottom end to make up for what the second media interview since his ap- unknown challenge; having begun his much journalism at Oxford – just a And the values people ascribe to those grim reaper achieves at the top end. pointment in May 2013.  is relative time at the BBC as a very small amount. I didn’t fi nd it par- words really matter; the problem is But that’s no reason for complacency.” anonymity, it transpires, is a quite de- researcher, he de- ticularly easy to get into, or particu- not everyone agrees what those values And what about students who do liberate choice. scribes himself as larly fulfi lling, so I did other things. I are… Some people think some labels not listen to Radio 4, or indeed get He told me he had “never really had “Today man and worked in politics for a couple of years are not the right labels, and other peo- much from the BBC at all? “Over time, a public profi le. I’ve never wanted to boy” – in addi- – for the Liberal Democrats, before ple disagree with them.” He went on: the BBC has to prove there is a pub- be in front of the camera or to broad- tion to his edi- the Liberal Democrats were a party of “that’s just the beauty of working with lic benefi t to there being a universal cast. I don’t want to be a public fi gure. torship of the government…” language; when you’re on the radio all licence fee. We have to win the argu- Lots of people just want to be on air – World at One It is clear that he is still – willingly you have is language… I think the idea ment that this slightly unusual funding they want more than anything else to and Newsnight in or otherwise – involved in politics; that you tell John Humphrys what he mechanism – unique, almost, interna- be on TV, or to a lesser extent the ra- the interim – the I asked him about the occasion in can and can’t say – a broadcaster of his tionally – that compels people to pay dio; and they’ll do anything to do that. latter “in a rather January when Today became a news experience – is a bit fanciful really.” a fl at fee for a service, is the right one. You have to be so intensely ambitious sticky moment” story in itself, after David Cameron We have to demonstrate that benefi t.” and slightly egotistical to be a pre- criticised presenter Sarah Montague He argues: “there are very few in- senter; you have to be pre- on air for her use of the term ‘Islamic stitutions now left nationally who can pared to make enormous State’. He conceded “he kind of got us bring the country together around a sacrifi ces in the way in on that one… We should have said ‘so- particular event, or story, or artistic which you live your life called Islamic State’. My own view is YOU HAVE TO BE SO theme – the BBC is almost the only – to jump on a plane or that actually the most important thing one left that can do that. And we think a train at a moment’s no- is does the audience understand what INTENSELY AMBITIOUS there’s a public benefi t that everyone tice and leave your wife you’re talking about, and I think the has a stake in it… So the argument and kids behind, if you question of whether or not some sec- AND SLIGHTLY EGOTISTICAL about whether that’s the right funding have them. If you really tions of either Muslim communities TO BE A PRESENTER mechanism will go on, but the funda- want to, then it’s great, or other communities fi nd the term mental idea of public service broad- but I personally think ‘Islamic State’ off ensive is not clear- casting that everyone has got a stake, the more interesting cut. But in this instance I don’t have everyone has got a voice, everyone jobs in the media are a complaint about what he said… he Students to whom John Humphrys’s derives some benefi t: there’s no rea- the ones no one talks saw the opportunity to give us a bit of voice is familiar may be interested to son that shouldn’t work in a modern, about.” “ e ones a slap, so he did and we took it.” hear that ‘young’, for Radio 4, is 35 to digital world.” like this” he added, I raised, too, the complaint Labour 54.  at’s the audience segment I wor- Whether or not the BBC does win chuckling. Leave founder Kate Hoey made in ry about the most: ‘are they becoming the argument, it’s clear that the Today Although this her interview with Varsity that BBC heavy Today listeners?’… Once you programme won’t be disappearing pride in anonymity journalists talking about leaving get them in the tradition, you’ve kind from public life any time soon, even if led to him jokingly ‘Europe’ – the continent – casts anti- of won, really.” Fortunately for Today, its editor is more at ease directing the to describe the THEO DEMOLDER EU campaigners as anti-European “audiences are living longer than we spotlight than being in it himself. Comment Friday 4th March 2016 Comment 13 Let’s not forget – Britain is still bombing Syria

he emotive nature of the abuses.  e report also echoed the of ISIS. While this is true for some, would be more eff ective than the cur- Syrian Airstrike vote on 2nd concerns of Western media regard- it is not the entire picture.  e citi- rent course of action. T December 2015 inevitably at- ing airstrikes delivered by the Russian zen journalist group ‘Raqqa is being  e US and Russia, who are on op- tracted the attention of the British Aerospace Force jets, reportedly kill- Slaughtered Silently’, based in the ISIS posing sides in the Syrian Civil War, public, provoking widespread debate. ing around 600 civilians and striking stronghold, has stated that “all the have attempted to reach a political In the wake of the Paris attacks, the 12 medical facilities. world is bombing Raqqa and the UK solution; a fragile ceasefi re came into devastating eff ect of ISIS’s terrorism While Britain has condemned will not make any change.” Not only is force on 27th February. Yet it excludes was fresh in people’s minds, prompt- Russian bombardment, it is impos- there opposition to airstrikes among terrorist organisations.  e attempts ing a general feeling that a response sible to be blame-free as long as we some Syrians, but there are many to diff use the civil war in order to fo- was required to show Britain stand- continue our involvement in this fi ghts occurring at once, with terror- cus on the campaign against ISIS dis- ing against terrorism – but whether collective eff ort. Cameron regularly ism not always being prioritised. plays how terrorism is prioritised by or not this response should be air- points to the enhanced precision of Citing British intelligence, Cameron the Western powers, perhaps because strikes was a fi ercely contested de- UK missiles in contrast to the Russian claimed that there were 70,000 non- this has aff ected their people directly bate. People took to social media to bombs, but the Syrian Observatory extremist Syrian fi ghters who could unlike the crimes of the Syrian Army. voice their opinions, and many online for Human Rights has warned that help fi ght ISIS – he failed to mention It is understandable that terrorism newspapers supplied rolling coverage ISIS fi ghters are living among civil- that these fi ghters are split into at is viewed by Western powers as the of the parliamentary debate. ians, meaning that avoiding civilian least 100 diff erent groups with vari- greatest evil, but are airstrikes the But after the motion was passed, casualties will depend on extremely ous aims, many of which are preoccu- right way to overcome it, especially Amy Smith with a majority of 174, attention on good intelligence.  e civilian toll is pied fi ghting the Syrian Army in a civ- given the number of civilian casual- the topic dwindled. It is all too easy also likely to rise as it becomes harder il war. It is important to acknowledge ties? It is questionable that the lives for the British public to forget the im- to fi nd genuine ISIS targets. that some Syrian citizens view Assad’s of Syrian people should be valued less pact that this vote had since we, un-  ere are also clear negative im- regime as more threatening than ISIS, than those European victims of ISIS like many Syrian civilians, do not have pacts of bombing Syrian oilfi elds. posing a fundamental diffi culty in terrorist attacks. We might not be to deal with the consequences on a Taking out oil reserves may seem like getting these groups to prioritise the Prior to the Syrian vote, the late daily basis. Neither do the MPs who a humane way of degrading ISIS’s fi - fi ght against terrorism. Tony Benn’s speech against bombing paying attention, determined their fate. But in light of nances and limiting their impact, but  e complexity of Middle Eastern Iraq in 1998 circulated the internet. recent reports of civilian casualties the fact that civilians rely on this oil politics suggests that airstrikes can Here, he spoke of his experiences of but civilians are still at the hands of Russian and possibly to heat their homes and run their ve- only go so far in terms of defeating World War II and asked the chamber: US airstrikes, perhaps it is time to hicles is largely ignored. Such impacts ISIS, and that a political solution is “Aren’t Iraqis terrifi ed? Don’t Arab being bombed look past David Cameron’s excuses of airstrikes on ordinary civilians’ needed. Persuading Sunni armed and Iraqi women weep when their and verbiage regarding the accuracy lives could prove disastrous in try- groups to fi ght ISIS as well as the children die? Does bombing strength- of Britain’s Brimstone missiles, and ing to win them over to the Western Assad regime may be the key to suc- en their determination?”  ese ques- instead recognise the impact that the cause against terrorism. cess, but this requires a great deal of tions still resonate today, but this time collective intervention in Syria is hav-  is misunderstanding of the local knowledge and political com- with regards to the Syrian people. ing on innocent civilians. Syrian people seems to be an inher- mitment. Jeremy Corbyn, the leader It is important to bear in mind that Amnesty International has report- ent problem for the coalition. We are of the opposition, presents an alterna- occasional news reports on civilian ed on the US-led coalition in Syria, led to believe by the British govern- tive to airstrikes, focussing on cutting casualties are a momentary remind- noting violations of international ment that airstrikes are welcomed by off arms, oil sales and money to ISIS, er for us, but a constant trauma for humanitarian law and human rights Syrian civilians who fear the terrorism and maintains that a political solution them. Is Cambridge too committed to committees? t times, it can feel as if the vast of our immediate predecessors, or do from in the case of really exceptional candidates make a range of pledges majority of the student body we derive self-satisfaction or valida- individuals, you cannot defi ne your- which, if eff ected, could dramatically A at Cambridge consists of com- tion from feeling as if our extracur- self as someone who is clever.  is alter undergraduate life – the elec- mittees. Elections are taking place at ricular activities are in some sense means many students look to extra- tion is not irrelevant. the moment, most conspicuously for ‘offi cial’ and, as such, worth our time? curricular activities, quite self-con-  e problem, then, seems to be CUSU and college JCRs. Within every And to what extent do people apply sciously choosing to become a thesp, many students’ overriding sensa- society – from the Marlowe Society for committee positions as a CV-fi ller, a boatie or a union hack in order to tion of it not being their place to to the CUTAZZ Dance Society – ap- keeping their mind on the end goal of create an identity. Becoming a com- get involved. When I was discussing plications are being stressed over and their dream job? mittee member is a further step to Clare’s recent referendum on de-gen- decisions are being made as commit- Of course, many of these committee assert this, as you are assigned an of- dering the welfare offi cers with fel- tees are assembled. positions are indispensable, with post fi cial title. low college members, many of them  e CUSU website shows that holders making massive contribu-  is strong sense of identity and for- expressed displeasure at the result, in the last fortnight alone, 21 such tions to improve and ensure the con- mal structure can feel quite alienating beginning sentences with ‘if I’d have ballots have taken place, including tinuance of student life in Cambridge to those on the outside. Several of my voted, I wouldn’t have voted for…’ the election of committees for the in all its diverse forms.  ere are so friends have expressed interest in get- Everyone had slightly diff erent, nu- Cambridge Farm Animal Veterinary many examples I could give of genu- ting involved in various activities at anced opinions, and yet had steered Society, the Anglo-Saxon, Norse and inely eff ective and useful changes in- Cambridge, but have felt intimidated clear of the actual vote. Celtic Society, and the Malaysia and stigated by committees over the past by the seriousness with which they are  e point seems to be that it can Singapore Association. term, and there are a huge number of approached. Committees themselves be easy to fall into an identity at Anna Jennings  e question, then, is whether fantastic individuals who are just very can become quite insular, as too often Cambridge, but we should take care these committees have real value, or good at doing their jobs and being the majority of the interest in their to not let this prevent our engage- whether they are simply symptomatic ready to help. One need only look to work comes from inside the commit- ment with other areas of student life CUSU elections of a student body that revels in over- May Balls to see the marvellous work tee, not the wider student population. that matter to us. Committees, too, organisation, taking recreational an ambitious committee can achieve.  ey can get bogged down in the self- should be careful to not become so make now a good activities too seriously and creating Because of the dedication this re- referential, with seemingly unending self-preoccupied that they cease to corporate structures of hierarchy. quires, committees can become a constitutional changes and AGMs engage with the wider student body. time to question  e processes of application or cam- means of forging identity and creating rather than real change perceivable to While all the enthusiasm, profes- paigning, followed by a year of meet- a sense of belonging. Before we came the outside observer. sionalism and sheer keenness we our fondness for ings, emails and bureaucracy begins to Cambridge, so many of us found CUSU can perhaps be seen as an see manifested in committees across committees to feel more like a full-time ‘adult’ that our ‘thing’ was being clever, and extreme manifestation of this. Very Cambridge has many, many positives job than a break from the stress of a character of sorts would be built up few people I know intend to vote in (not least in their impressive outputs), Cambridge academia. around our intelligence as a defi ning the upcoming elections or have fol- this can lead to a fragmentation or But year after year the positions are feature. lowed the campaign. And yet, the disjointedness among undergradu- refi lled as the institutions tick on. Is Bringing together some of the most problem does not seem to be apa- ates, as the rigidity of the structures the problem a lack of imagination to academically-gifted students from thy: there is not a lack of opinions and the devotion they require creates look beyond the traditional systems across the country means that, apart among the student body.  is year’s a sense of exclusivity. 14 Comment Friday 4th March 2016

Osborne plays the unlikely Stalinist in latest cuts eorge Osborne has an- suff ering and thousands of deaths re- named Mark Wood starved to death glorious future of the Soviet Union nounced that as a result of sulting from cost-cutting measures in under this regime, and suicides are will justify it.”  is was the approach G ‘storm clouds’ over the glo- the welfare system. suffi ciently common that the DWP that legitimated the Stalinist Terror. bal economy, he will have to initiate a  is still sounds like an exaggera- has been compelled to hire workers  e same approach defi nes the gov- new bout of austerity – the fi rst cut to tion, but it should not. Over the sum- to ring claimants and check if they are ernment’s welfare policy. be made, presumably, in the produc- mer, the Department for Work and contemplating taking their own lives.  is perspective has wormed its tion of new metaphors for impending Pensions, which has implemented Yet beyond the sporadic surfacing way into a much broader array of is- doom. At this stage, Osborne is so ob- some of the most controversial of of a desperately poignant individual sues, among them the government’s viously enamoured with austerity that Osborne’s cuts, was compelled to re- story, there has been almost no me- recent embrace of drone warfare. any encouragement to carry out more lease the statistics recording deaths dia coverage of the DWP’s operations.  e American drone programme, of it feels a little superfl uous. Never of people on their programmes, and Even what reporting there has been which Britain is now eagerly seek- mind that reductions in public debt it makes for grim reading. Between was met largely with indiff erence.  e ing to imitate with its own, is rid- are simply translated into an increase December 2011 and February 2014, lack of regard for these people’s lives dled with the same relentless utili- in private debt at much higher rates 2,380 people died shortly after be- is demonstrated in the dehumanising tarianism. According to the Bureau of interest. What is more interesting ing declared ‘fi t for work’, which de- language of the DWP, which refers to of Investigative Journalism, of the than the economic thought (or lack prived them of the Employment and claimants’ families as ‘benefi t units’, 2,300 people killed by US drones of it) underlying these decisions is the Support Allowance that is meant to and to deaths under their charge as in Pakistan, only four per cent have Sam Harrison new cultural current fl owing through keep severely disabled people alive. ‘completions’ (thereby, almost unbe- been named as Al-Qaeda operatives. them, a kind of crude utilitarianism 7,200 died after receiving that allow- lievably, adopting the same term used It is estimated that in the fi rst three that prioritises ‘public good’ over the ance, but on the condition that they in Kazuo Ishiguro’s dystopian novel years of Barack Obama’s term in of- wellbeing of the individual, and one ‘prepare’ for imminent work. Overall, Never Let Me Go to describe the de- fi ce, American drone strikes killed Blameless people bearing unwelcome echoes of his- this constitutes 80 deaths a month in mise of a compulsory organ donor). I between 297 and 569 civilians, of tory’s despots. that time.  ousands suff er under the pointed out to a friend that more than whom 64 were children. Evidently, should not suff er and Evidently, it would be a risible burden of the Department for Work 90 people are recorded as having died we are more than willing to murder hyperbole to compare Osborne to and Pensions (DWP)’s increasingly as a result of sanctions. He just replied civilians in our pursuit of military die just to balance Robespierre or Stalin, and some- sanctions-happy approach to welfare that 90 is not that many.  ese are targets. thing of an insult (you may decide to payments, which has spawned a sys- chilling insights into a mind-set that If some claim that these killings the budget whom). But the principle which le- tem that seamlessly blends Kafka and has enveloped our political thinking. are sadly necessary to prevent more gitimated the actions of each is iden- Dickens. Blameless people can suff er, and even deaths at the hands of terrorists, then tical. To Robespierre, public terror, It is a system in which one man lost die, for the sake of cost-cutting. I argue that that is a fl awed premise. mass surveillance and mass execu- his lifeline for a month and a half be- At the risk of making myself risible Perhaps one could argue with a sound tions were justifi ed to entrench the cause he had been required to attend once again, I shall cite the Chairman conscience that balancing the budget values of the French Revolution. an employment course which was of Ukraine’s Central Executive warrants even such sacrifi ces as the To Osborne and this government subsequently deemed invalid, one Committee Grigory Petrovsky, who above. But if this is to be our attitude at large, the achievement of the rath- in which a comatose woman was in- in 1932 told American trade union- then it warrants genuine discussion, er less lofty aim of eliminating the formed that she needed to begin “in- ist Fred Beal: “We know millions are rather than the silence with which we budget defi cit justifi es widespread tensive work-focused activity”. A man dying.  at is unfortunate but the currently treat the issue. Friday 4th March 2016 Comment 15 Everyone needs consent workshops – yes, including you

nviting you to a consent workshop workshops again.  ankfully, a lot of cultures. It’s about what we see as does not only mean the horrible ex- is not an accusation that you’re a people do agree on their importance. acceptable behaviour, and what we periences which might fi rst spring to I rapist. It’s not a judgement of char- In October, roughly 4,000 new under- don’t. It’s about understanding that mind, like cat-calling and being groped Emily acter whatsoever. What is a judgement graduates will descend on Cambridge making any kind of rape joke, however in Cindies. It also means those of us of character is me telling you that if and it would be entirely unreason- tongue-in-cheek, serves to legitimate who have been made to feel unsafe in you’re going to kick up a fuss about able to expect everyone to be on the perpetrators and silence the survivors the confi nes of our own colleges. being invited to a consent workshop, same page when it comes to consent. who, statistically, are likely to hear you Because you will not understand Bailey-Page you’re almost certainly an arsehole.  anks to the shockingly rudimentary make that joke. what it’s like to feel unsafe in your own It’s been almost six months since the sex and relationship education young But this is also why we need to think college unless you’ve actually felt it. e Tab Warwick published an illumi- people continue to ‘enjoy’ at school, beyond individual consent workshops You don’t realise how important it is nating thinkpiece, ‘Why I don’t need we can by no means rely on the idea and stop seeing the burden as being to have a room that you can lock and consent lessons’, with self-described that basic principles of respect and that of individual JCRs. Setting stand- be safe in when you suddenly don’t feel ‘abysmal journalist’ George Lawlor communication are understood by all ards of what is acceptable and what is like that’s there anymore.  e colle- dropping the bombshell that appar- incoming students. Unfortunately in not within our colleges means we have giate system forces you to live in prox- ently all rapists are immediately visibly this respect we just can’t rely on every- to focus on getting the full weight of imity to others. For too many of my distinguishable from the general pub- one being so enlightened and evolved the college administration behind the friends around Cambridge’s various lic of law-abiding citizens, and that all as George Lawlor. message. Talking through consent colleges, this has meant that they’ve students at Russell Group universities with members of the JCR is very dif- been the targets of stalking from other know the importance of consent be- ferent to having senior members of the members of college, or continued ver- cause they’re, like, really smart. tutorial staff making it very clear what bal harassment, and then had to sit Wouldn’t you like to think that behaviour is unacceptable and will be down on the other side of hall from Cambridge is a nice insulated little met with sanctions.  is sends a much the perpetrator if they decide to go to bubble where everyone is really clever IT’S TIME TO START THINKING clearer message and makes it more brunch with their friends. and understands the basics of how to SERIOUSLY ABOUT CONSENT likely that incidents will get reported Your social space, your bar, your treat other human beings? 77 per cent to college authorities. Colleges such as home is where you bump into the Consent workshops are of Cambridge students have experi- WORKSHOPS AGAIN mine have been able to put enormous person that made you feel so unsafe, enced sexual harassment. More than amounts of work into their sexual har- chatting to their mates or reading the only part of the solution to one in fi ve have experienced sexual assment policies in the last couple of newspaper like they’re the most nor- assault. One in ten have experienced But in some strange way, he had years, but how much does it change if mal person in the world. sexual harassment attempted or successful sexual as- an infi nitesimally small point: that it isn’t made clear to students from the And you know what?  ey look like sault by penetration. 91 per cent of the the people most likely to fully engage outset of their time in college, at fresh- the most normal person in the world. perpetrators overall are men and 45 with these workshops are those who ers’ inductions and so on, that these Yes, George Lawlor, quite often they per cent of perpetrators are social ac- already fi rmly believe in the impor- rules and procedures exist? do in fact look just like you. And it’s quaintances.  ese statistics are from tance of consent, and the principles And consent is only one part of the time that our colleges started taking 2014.  ese things happen around us behind it. What he perhaps failed to discussion. We need to be having more a clearer stance from the outset and all the time. In our colleges. acknowledge was that consent work- conversations in general about sexual bearing the brunt of setting stand- As new JCR committees start their shops aren’t just about changing each harassment, boundaries and respect. ards, instead of fi guring out how the work in earnest, it’s time to start individual separately, but the way we  at 77 per cent of Cambridge stu- hell they’re going to deal with the thinking seriously about consent engage and take part in our shared dents experience sexual harassment aftermath. H e a d s p a c e Rhiannon Shaw talks about the importance of learning to live with failure

Some people have thought I’m not to people, or try, and why did I even that it was me who was failing or suc- off and trying again.  at last essay very funny/great/wonderful and that’s apply in the fi rst place, yadda, yadda, ceeding. I think when you start to feel was a pile of shit? Okay, fi ne, I’ll write been a bit shit. But, despite all the an- yadda. connected to the world again you per- a better one next week as opposed to noyances and upsets and disappoint- I said a couple of weeks ago that it haps realise too late that the mistakes bewailing my uselessness and crawl- ments that I’ve fi t into this term, I’ve was good to be able to feel sad again. It’s you made were yours and you have to ing into bed to watch another series actually been pretty okay. also been good to get my sense of per- live with them. of Pretty Little Liars. It’s my fuck-up – I’ve noticed at Cambridge – now, spective back. Pre-anti-depressants, On a cheerier note, I’m better now, they can’t take that away from me. this may be a wild assumption, but let losing a pair of headphones would be and being better means stuff makes I don’t know if I can really sit here me fi nish – that none of us are really devastating, while losing touch with more sense. I’ve never ‘failed’ so much and tell you, however your Easter used to failing. A prominent cause of a good friend would leave me pretty in my life, but being able to really con- term is looking, that ‘everything is depression, or at least according to numb. Nothing made sense. It wasn’t nect with something I did, something going to be fi ne.’ It probably will be, one of my counsellors, is arriving here so much that things would pile on top really concrete, is cool – and ‘failing’ because, from what I’ve heard, you’re and discovering that your perception of me, but that I had no idea how to (whatever your perception of that all a clever bunch. I’m not just talking Rhiannon Shaw of yourself (as someone who never digest the emotional information I might be) is actually not as bad as about exams, but everything that you royally fucks up or ever makes a tiny was receiving, which meant I didn’t you think.  e more I do it, the less run, jump, act, paint, debate, write or mistake, for example) is wrong. My want to take responsibility for my it hurts. I’m becoming more accus- limbo dance in. Fucking up is good. epression is hardly ever logi- fi rst few weeks were a particularly fuck-ups. I didn’t really understand tomed to jumping up, dusting myself Fucking up will set you free. cal. I can’t count the number disheartening game of talent-whack- D of times things have been go- a-mole. ‘I used to play the violin.’ ‘Oh, ing spectacularly well and I’ve man- me too, I have my Diploma!’ SMACK! aged to still be deeply unhappy, or ‘I like skiing.’ ‘I ski for Great Britain!’ ungrateful, or scared, or suddenly felt SQUASH! ‘I can eat a burrito with- the urge to run away. If your brain is a out the fi lling coming out’ ‘I won the little bit west of totally healthy, there’ll eating-a-burrito-without-the-fi lling- still be a little voice whispering: ‘you coming-out world championships.’ don’t deserve this’, ‘this is going to KABLAMMO! (I’ve been listening go wrong eventually’, no matter how to Alan Partridge’s audiobook and many people laugh at your jokes or shouted sound eff ects have become love your theory of evolution or your my go-to.) foreign policy. So feeling like you’ve failed can lead Logically, this term hasn’t gone per- to depression, but once its set in, I’m fectly for me. If my depression was not completely sure that you can ‘feel’ still as bad as it had been, say, a year failure. Everything feels equally fl at ago, my head probably would have and grey. At my worst, I had more or told me to give up around Week 3. less the same reaction to failure and Actual bad things have happened, as success. I didn’t get onto a course I opposed to imagined bad things. I’ve wanted to do so I assumed that I was applied for countless things and been useless and no-one liked me. I did get rejected from nearly all of them. I’ve onto the course I wanted to do, but I been quite ill. I’ve had a lot of work. didn’t want to leave my room, or talk 16 Comment Friday 4th March 2016 We need to talk more about being mixed race

he hardest thing about being heritage as an intrinsic part of my per- Starting the ‘Mixed Race and Mixed – for mixed-race and mixed-heritage mixed race for me has been sonhood, but seen to be a particular Heritage’ forum on Facebook, in some people who have these unique identi- T navigating society after be- race by the rest of the world, can I be respects, was a culmination of many ties, and unique struggles. A place for ing raised in a home environment in anything else? moments: my white grandfather and people who are frequently met with which my mixed-race identity was en-  e photos of my cousin’s son, with I having an argument about immigra- the classic ‘What are you?’ or ‘You’re a trenched. Let’s get one thing straight: alabaster skin and red hair, sitting on tion, and him defending why he chose half-breed, haha!’ in a world in which on a personal level, I do not see myself his great-grandfather’s lap, a Jamaican to vote UKIP; my white grandmother you already feel like you don’t have a as black or as white – because I am man, were amazing to behold and en- accidentally forgetting I was born space. not. I am both. Both my parents are capsulated my home environment’s at- here; my white mother telling me to In making the ‘Mixed Race and British: my mum is ethnically English, titude to skin: it is a spectrum. Before celebrate my mixed heritage, but my Mixed Heritage’ forum, I hoped to cre- and my dad is ethnically Jamaican. I started school, I saw everyone in my black father reminding me that the ate a space in which people can share Some may think that this pedantic, family as a spectrum of colour. But world sees me as black. their experiences in an environment but let me elaborate. outside of the comfort of family, and free from judgement or misunder- At home, it was not only my and as I get older, I realise how uncom- standing. It is a space to promote soli- my brother’s ethnicity that was mixed, fortable society makes me by trying darity. Of course, not all mixed-race but it was also our environment. I to place me into a box that I do not people are the same.  e socially con- Nadine Batchelor-Hunt grew up listening to ABBA one mo- fi t into. structed dichotomy of people of col- ment, and then Jamaican dancehall On my street at home, there was our versus white people is eroded by the next. Some Sundays my family and gossip and confusion about ‘that black THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME NOT the existence of mixed-race people. I would tuck into a carvery at the local girl with the afro living with the blonde BEING PROUD OF BEING As time goes on, our erasure will ere is a lack of public pub, and other Sundays would con- woman across the street’ – referring become more and more diffi cult. sist of huge family get-togethers, with to my mother and me. My identity BLACK, OR BEING WHITE Mixed-race people are the fastest- discussion about the everyone eagerly awaiting my aunts was inconceivable to them. But I am growing minority in the UK. In future diffi culties of having a emerging carrying pots of curry goat proud of my identity. My existence is years, it’s going to be increasingly dif- and trays of jerk chicken.  e cultural a testament to my parent’s resilience  en, during the ‘Match4Lara’ cam- fi cult to try and put mixed-race people mixed heritage exchange that I remember from my to the racial pejoratives regarding paign, I realised that the mixed-race into one category or the other, be it on childhood was huge, and the language their interracial relationship that they struggle runs deeper than appear- paper on poorly worded forms ask- we spoke at home was a melting-pot received in the late 80s and 90s in ances. Even biologically we can be at ing about ethnicity, or in society more of Jamaican and English. Birmingham. I am continually thank- a huge disadvantage, as only three per generally.  is is about celebrating  is is not about me not being ful to my mum for all her strength in cent of people on the stem cell and and understanding the unique identity proud of being black, or being white – putting up with being so mocked and bone marrow registry are mixed race. and life experiences I, and many other but more about being confused at how ridiculed for having two children of After that, I realised that a space people, have as a result of our ethnic the world sees me. If I see my mixed mixed heritage. needed to exist for people like me background.

Miranda Slade

inally, the end of term has plan for exam season (currently my placed on one’s self-image, and a perhaps this is manifested in the bit- these are the same friends whose very nearly arrived, and I am ‘productive plan’ is panic). Delighted mistaken belief that people would ter attitude I have taken towards pre- other aphorisms about dating include F defi nitely looking forward to though I am to fi nally be cycling to care about what you have to say. It’s vious paramours – sorry, but most of ‘I’m bored, you’ll do’, and thus are not switching off for a while. I have spent Sidgwick in dappled sunshine, the an inane criticism, especially in a so- you deserved it – but it really is the to be upheld as moral arbiters, even the last week frantically catching up move into spring marks the fact that ciety where we are increasingly nar- only means of creating a relationship. if they do hold positions of power in with postponed deadlines, agreed it may be time to get serious.  e time rowly self-interested, and the reason I am proud to say I have matured Cambridge’s philanthropic scene. back when Week 8 seemed like a to be honest with yourself about what it is so often associated with women suffi ciently to lose interest in ‘playing Really, it all boils down to a knowl- Mayan doomsday date that would has been done and what you have yet is the symptom of a society which the game’ after realising that it is nei- edge of oneself that doesn’t give a shit never really arrive, which made ac- to do is rapidly approaching. chronically undervalues the female ther durable nor worthwhile to con- about what others are going to think. cumulating entertaining anecdotes More often than I am proud of, I experience. tinue chasing people whose interest  ese columns have been indisputa- about anything other than the ontol- have to remind myself to ‘respond to I am a huge over-sharer. I will hap- in you is proportionate to how much bly self-indulgent rants. I like to think ogy of language a bit of a stretch. what is actually happening, not what pily recount the intimate details of time you wait to text back, or how it gives them an edge of spontaneity When ‘On-Tology’ was vetoed, I you want to be happening’. Whether it my life with nearly anyone. I once had opaque you make your intentions. or, failing that, hysteria. I haven’t rep- returned to the drawing board. After be lying to my DoS about how dandy to get the morning after pill, and what licated some of the politically insight- recently misunderstanding a survey everything is while being too scared should have been a stressful and re- ful and astute commentary of my fel- and submitting several deceitful an- to check my Hermes inbox, or having grettable experience quickly became low columnists. I don’t understand swers, which somehow resulted in sincere and heartfelt conversations me using the standardised NHS Yes/ Brexit, but I do know how it feels an application for an internship at a in my head with people rather than No questions posed by the nurse to fancy people who do bad things Canadian bank, On-tario was also fi nding the ability to do so in person, to structure an epic narrative of my I WILL HAPPILY RECOUNT THE or to disobey your better intentions looking like a contender. Ultimately, I know how thrifty I can be with the relationship status over the past 18 INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE (which might be a good set up for a I decided to stick to what I know truth. I am duplicitous. I think we months. I may have delayed a pen- segue into a quip about Brexit – I sin- (which does not extend to a career all are. I really don’t feel much need sioner getting their prescription, but WITH NEARLY ANYONE cerely would not know). in investment banking in Canada) to apologise for it. Often the ‘fake I enjoyed myself, and I like to think Narcissistic? Sure. But, like my fel- and tackle yet another abstract and it ‘til you make it’ mentality works. the nurse did too. low students who are seeking ‘sugar digressive concept for the fi nal week. Nevertheless, I fi nd it very entertain- What’s more, I am always in- Instead, my friends and I have daddies’ to fund their studies, I only But the pun game perseveres, and I ing that, while we value sincerity and stantly enamoured with fellow over- adopted a mantra of ‘don’t play hard have myself to sell. If you don’t want landed on honesty. truthfulness, we abhor ‘over-sharing’. sharers, hence why I have replicated to get when you’re already hard to it, don’t buy it. Honestly, I am proud As I’m sure many of you will be do- Over-sharing is a criticism pre- it here. Within these columns I have want’ – an apparently self-deprecating to be a woman with a misguided ing, I have been forced to look back at dominantly made of women. It is been honest to an extent that might but actually self-preserving tactic of sense of self-confi dence, one who the whole previous year and use this one that carries with it accusations make some readers (my mother) un- walking away before becoming lost in doesn’t know when to shut up, and retrospective to create a productive of impropriety, excessive importance comfortable. Honesty can be cruel: the labyrinth of the game. Admittedly doesn’t want to either. RLJ ENTERTAINMENT 18 Culture Friday 4th March 2016

INTERVIEW WOMEN’S VICTOR FRANKOWSKI HOUR Katie Wetherall speaks to Louise Mothersole and Rebecca Biscuit, the dynamic duo behind the sketch show ‘Women’s Hour’ featured in Cambridge’s Women of the World Festival

ne entire hour a day devoted the weekend, culminating in the Louise, it’s the most ridiculous as- people that could be doing more” to to women? Luxury indeed. International Women’s Day celebra- pects of sexism and gender that they reduce gender inequality – and, in O hat’s the message Rebecca tions on Tuesday 8th March. encounter that are the funniest: “stuf some cases, that means the govern- Biscuit and Louise Mothersole like the newly gendered Kinder eggs ment. But it’s not that simple: “it’s took to heart when they, in the hough sharing a title with the BBC that started bringing out year. Why a 4,000-year-old problem. Women space of about two weeks, set about Radio 4 programme, and occasionally would they bring that out? What’s have been second-class citizens putting together their own version drawing from its format, Louise and the need for gendered kinder eggs in pretty much since the dawn of time. of Woman’s Hour. he result is an Rebecca say their version “doesn’t so 2016 when normal kinder eggs have We don’t so much seek to blame, but eclectic explosion of deathly funny much make fun – it’s deinitely done been totally ine for the last 50 years?” highlight the forces that participate in comedy, chilling cabaret, singing with love.” he pair were even snuck the patriarchy.” shouting spectacular. “he ridiculous- inside the Woman’s Hour studio by a Does the show have any particular ness of trying to write a show about friend who works on the show, and party political leaning? “Although Rebecca and Louise have boundless women, trying to sum up the experi- BBC presenters came to watch them obviously we get more lefty people energy, bullishness and no shortage of ences of all women in every country, on tour to make sure it wasn’t of- coming to see it, we take the piss out material to get riled up about. heir everywhere in an hour precludes the fensive. Apparently, it’s just one vowel of both left wing and right wing in the approach, which they chart to the ludicrous nature of the show itself.” – Women’s, rather than Woman’s – show”. Even the Guardian newspa- inluence of Lois Weaver and Peggy that stops the pair from being sued. per isn’t free from a blast of their Shaw, two performance artists of the he show, which graced Cambridge It deals with the light – one of the humour: Louise and Rebecca scof 1980s feminist movement in New Junction on Wednesday, sends up songs, ‘Talk Dirty To Me’, describes in as they tell me how they send up an York, is “just fucking do it. he idea is issues as diverse as the tampon detail the everyday human processes article discussing the sexualisation of to make art “without access to money, tax, porn, periods, and children’s of, er, excrement, as well as the dark. female murderers for “the way they to completely do it yourself. If there’s advertising. Barely any aspects of “We also do a song which is based on tiptoe around gender”. On the other some point you want to make, just ‘womanhood’ are left untouched online hate comments, mostly from side, scorn is particular reserved for fucking doing it.” And that, it seems, by this boisterous duo, who met at #gamergate on but also taken George Osborne’s “incredibly public is a good way to sum up Women’s Queen Mary University of London from YouTube comments on Lena schoolboy nod to women” over the Hour. and collaborate together for company Dunham’s videos. hat’s stuf that’s tampon tax, referring in this case to Sh!t heatre. heir previous show, online already, which is very violent his decision in November last year he Women of he World Festival ‘Guinea Pigs on Trial’, exploring the and dark, and lots of use of c-words to reroute the £15 million raised a kicks of this Saturday with a day of dark world of the pharmaceutical and rape images… during those bits, year from the tax to support women’s talks, workshops, performances and industry, was shortlisted for Amnesty people don’t laugh. People were ask- domestic violence charities. debates at Cambridge Junction to International’s Freedom of Expression ing us whether those comments are Award in 2014. After rave reviews real, because they get so violent. But Despite the fact that the majority of celerate women and girls. First held at the Edinburgh Festival last year, this can be found through 10 minutes domestic violence is committed by in London, it has now spread around they’ve made a break from their tour of easy research on Twitter.” But in men, “it means a view of domestic vi- the world to places such as, Sydney, to take part in Cambridge’s Women reality, it’s not as if the ‘funnier’ bits olence as just a women’s issue… paid Hong Kong, Egypt, Ethiopia – and of the World Festival, taking place of the show are any less innocent. for by a tax on women”. he show, Cambridge! throughout this week and over In fact, according to Rebecca and then, tries to highlight “the sorts of WHY WOMEN ARTISTS?

Sarah Maclean explores the wonders of Murray Edwards’s extensive feminist art collection

he large, grey walls of by women artists in the art world. says: ‘HETERONORMATIVITY’. women, compared with 14 per cent Murray Edwards College he concept behind this piece is being by women in 2014). However, Thave displayed works of art Walking through the extensive- to eventually take collective action there is still an enormous dispar- by a number of women artists since Murray Edwards collection, we against the piñata, to challenge ity. he collection showcases the 1986, and the collection now stands experience an accumulation of heteronormativity. House’s further historical corpus of women artists, at over 400 pieces of art. In light of work accomplished through a work continues in a similar strain: and it is one of diference and varia- the Women of the World Festival variety of media and subjects, all her banners, zines, pendants and tion – in medium, or of concepts. By happening this week, a recent created by women artists. We view badges not only express the chal- encouraging this active looking back tour of the collection asked, ‘Why art from Judy Chicago, a leading lenges faced towards notions of to past interpretations of what it is Women Artists?’ It is a well-known member of the 1970s artist move- gender, but they also act as an active to be a woman artist, the collection fact that artists who identify as ment, whose art communicates response to them. allows us to consolidate what it is to women are under-represented in the the sense of pride and diference in be a woman artist today. By learn- art world. In 2015, statistics reveal the female body, and Mary Kelly, So, ‘Why Women Artists?’ he tour ing from ideas of the past, we can the continual disparity between who responds more conceptually itself did not state an answer, but situate ourselves within the here and male and female artists: at auction, to accepted female stereotypes by experiencing the art was enough. now, developing knowledge, moving the highest price paid to date for a using conventions such as fashion Created by women artists who of- towards a future, all the while aware work by a living woman artist is $7.1 and romantic iction to respond fered their work as gifts and loans, of the pervading importance and million, a Yayoi Kusama painting. In to J. M. Charcot’s ideas of female the collection is therefore particu- inluence of past women artists who comparison, the highest price paid hysteria. he result of these works larly exceptional. his collective act have been under-represented, who for a work of art by a living man is is a powerful amalgamation of a of giving is perhaps rooted in the have been silenced, but who have $58.4 million, a Jef Koons sculpture. variety of ideas, all connected by understanding that there is a lack also contributed to the voices of In a world where capital is key to their relevance to the subject of of representation of women in the women artists today. circulation, these igures matter. the woman. We see art from the art world. Statistically, many try to And the statistics frankly express the resident artist at the college, Rachael map the improvements made (for And this, therefore, renders the need for an advance on the endorse- House. here is a bright, bold piñata example, in 2000, the Guggenheim question, ‘Why Women Artists?’ ment and recognition of art created hanging from the ceiling, and it Museum had no solo shows by obsolete. Friday 4th March 2016 Culture 19

TATE and anorexia. She died in 1862 of a clues; they are admirable in their own laudanum overdose, possibly an act of right. ELLIE STAMP suicide after giving birth to a stillborn daughter. What happened next has Siddal’s skill as an artist was recog- become almost folkloric: several years nised by the foremost art critic of later, the now alcoholic and drug-ad- the day, John Ruskin. From 1855, dicted Rossetti ordered that her coffi n he subsidised her career, and paid be exhumed so that he could £150 yearly in exchange for all the retrieve a poem he had writ- drawings and paintings she produced. ten and placed inside. It  e fact that Siddal had Ruskin as was reported that the her patron when women artists image of the coffi n were all but ignored is testament to fi lled with her her talent. However, she was never fl owing cop- publicly acknowledged as an artist. pery locks is Although she never exhibited with said to have the Pre-Raphaelites, Siddal painted in ANNA MCGEE haunted a similar manner to members of the Rossetti Brotherhood, especially in terms of until his subject matter and composition. THE death. While their works are often more de- So, if tailed and fi nished than her own, she FULL PICTURE known at still managed to capture the charac- TATE he haunting, fl oating woman in all, Lizzie teristic medieval spirit in her sketches John Everett Millais’s Ophelia, on 19th-century ‘supermodel’ Siddal is and watercolours. Siddal’s only oil the melancholic, almost famous T Lizzie Siddal and her overlooked painting, a self-portrait of 1854, is dreamlike fi gure in Dante Gabriel today for the most revelatory of her works: she Rossetti’s Beata Beatrix… We praise art and poetry her beauty depicts herself not as an idealised the skill of the Pre-Raphaelites in and some- beauty, but as a solemn and tight- rendering such troubling beauties. what salacious lipped fi gure who fi xes the viewer Rarely do we consider the model life story.  e title with a penetrating stare.  is time it behind these paintings, one Lizzie Ophelia of the most recent is not the male gaze that defi nes her, Siddal. But to ignore Lizzie Siddal as a in 1852 book written about but her own. person in her own right is to overlook by fl oating in her, Lizzie Siddal: e a complex and creative character. a bathtub, Siddal Tragedy of a Pre-Raphaelite Christina Rossetti, poet and sister of became so cold that it is Supermodel, says it all. Isn’t it time the Pre-Raphaelite Rossetti, wrote  ose who have heard of Siddal thought she caught pneumonia. She the balance was redressed, that we about Siddal in her poem, ‘In an know her in relation to her lover and then went on to work almost exclu- recognise Siddal as the creative spirit Artist’s Studio’: “One face looks out later spouse, Dante Gabriel Rossetti. sively for Rossetti, who painted her she really was? Lizzie Siddal was a from all his canvases […] We found Indeed, the fi rst biography of her was to the exclusion of almost all other painter and a poet. Her literacy was her hidden just behind those screens”. entitled: e Wife of Rossetti. And models, captivated as he was by her uncommon for someone of her gen- You can fi nd Siddal in so many paint- others might know her due to the “exquisite beauty and coppery golden der and class in the Victorian period, ings, sometimes as an Arthurian fascinating details of her life: spot- hair”. but her parents had taught her to read princess, sometimes a Shakespearean ted by artist Walter Deverell while and she then studied with Rossetti. character, at other times an idealised working as a milliner in London, Siddal, though, was plagued by ill- Her poems were not published in her lover. But you have to dig a little Siddal, “a beautiful creature”, soon ness all her life, probably addicted lifetime, but now anyone can read deeper, go beyond the surface of the became a favourite muse to many of to a so-called ‘complexion improver’ her sorrowful, lyrical verses.  ey are paint, to get to know the real Lizzie the Pre-Raphaelites. When she posed made from dilute arsenic, and almost intimate and sensitive, but should not Siddal, troubled and talented. for Millais’s painting of the drowned certainly suff ering from depression be considered solely as biographical

MIRIAM SHAPIRO Will Roberts on the best cinematic female FEMALE ANGLE characters of the last decade

JUNO PEGGY DODD FURIOSA CELINE SANDRA FROM FROM FROM FROM FROM TWO DAYS, JUNO THE MASTER MAD MAX BEFORE MIDNIGHT ONE NIGHT

With wit sharp as a e Master is P.T. Ander- Furiosa can be described  ere’s nothing better for a Mental health is a subject knife, always on point son’s most subtly titled fi lm eloquently with one word: fi lm viewer than watching that cinema has generally with cultural references, in the fact we never truly badass. She’s a true rebel, a character develop over failed to portray truthfully: and never shying from know who  e Master is. protecting those who are a series of fi lms. Julie Two Days, One Night is speaking her mind, Juno I would argue that his wife vulnerable and fi ghting for Delpy’s Céline from an exception. Not only is is undoubtedly one of Peggy Dodd, played by what she believes in, no Richard Linklater’s Before the reason for protagonist the most intelligent and the always stunning Amy matter what the costs. trilogy is perhaps the best Sandra’s depression confi dent characters of Adams, could give her cult- And fi ghting with true example.  e Céline we ambiguous, fl agging up the recent cinema. However, creating husband a run for style, I might add; high see in Before Midnight is fact that depression can there is far more to Juno his money. speed driving, avalanch- a complicated, modern aff ect anyone, but also it is that zingy one-liners. While he does the pub- es, snipers, daggers, fi st- woman trying to have it through herself that she is Helped along by a pitch- lic speeches, behind closed fi ghting – it’s somewhat all and barely keeping it able to fi nd an escape.

MANDATE PICTURES MANDATE perfect performance by doors, it’s far more ambigu- embarrassing that in 2016 together. What is so likable She isn’t dependent on Ellen Page and a masterful os, with Peggy’s tearful ma- we’re still marvelling over about Céline is that she the relationship with her Oscar-winning script, we nipulation and aggressive a female action hero who defi antly never apologises husband or her children, eventually fi nd out that handjobs making us won- holds her own in the heat for the way she conducts a trope which so many fe- Juno is far more complex der who’s really in control. of battle. But Furiosa, her life.  e result is male characters are still and vulnerable than she “Maybe he’s past help… brought to life by Charlize explosive: complicated, subjected to. It is through likes to let off , making Or insane,” Peggy says of  eron, does more than argumentative, funny… her own determination her character not only one character. She may that; Furiosa is by no means the list of adjectives attest and good will that she able great company, but also need to take a look in the Mad Max’s inferior – she’s to Céline’s wonderful to fi nd a light at the end of extremely sympathetic. mirror… his equal. complexity. the tunnel. CANAL + CASTLE ROCK MANDATE PICTURES MANDATE ANNAPURNA PICTURES VILLAGE ROADSHOW PICTURES 20 Culture Friday 4th March 2016 NBC

LAURA MORGAN FRIENDS:

oing down to the pub to grab that I turn to when I THE REUNION developments, but that it’s probably good to see these a few pints with your friends can’t decide what to the majority of us actors past their prime, to realise that Gfrom the class of 20what- watch. Yet watching Is seeing our long-loved actors come will watch the new the characters we looked up to aren’t ever is great. You catch up on where the YouTube clip of the episodes, click through real.  ey are played by actors, who, everyone is in life, reminisce about actors getting together, I together rewarding, or just a sad the YouTube videos, much like us, face the daily challenges the time John laughed so hard he couldn’t help but cringe. attempt to cling onto the past? and chatter hopefully of life.  e television shows and mov- pissed himself a little, and vent about A lot. Friends was great about the news. But after ies that we watch growing up can play how expensive being an adult is. But in its time, and re-watching seeing the clips, we emerge a valuable role in teaching us lessons, that isn’t televised live and watched it now always reminds me of much the same as we were or providing entertainment. It would by thousands of people worldwide. that time, when the sass and before: grown up, with laundry be ridiculously hypocritical of me It doesn’t include answering lame comedy was new and genuine. But to do and essays to write. We to tell people to stop watching TV, cheesy questions in a panel format, that was back when I still thought have merely succeeded in escaping and that’s not what I’m trying to do. and for most of us (except maybe the staying best friends with your ex was through low quality entertainment. But blubbering and following every Eton folk) it doesn’t require black tie. really possible. Bringing all the actors potential reunion rumour should be back together created unrealistic we are always bound to be more criti- I think one of the only good things left in the past with the kid who fell in Just over a week ago, the long-awaited expectations for the same feelings. cal. So why can’t we just let a good about reunions is that they off er a love with the characters on screen. As Friends reunion took place. Sort of. Like somehow Friends and the other thing be? glimpse at the future of TV-stars. great as they are, watching the rerun Five of the main characters got on shows with near perfect endings Often chosen in their youth for their won’t bring back the show or the life stage and answered questions for could outdo themselves, be even bet- No matter how many times we are beauty, the characters in sitcoms you had while watching it. We’re in about 20 minutes. Matthew Perry ter, and give us even more. disappointed by reunions and recrea- provide an unrealistic expectation of our 20s now, and soon we might be didn’t even make it. But the whole tions of old fi lms, we always await what it is really like to be in your 20s living in a big city. It’s time to stop event, part of a larger tribute, got me TV shows end for a reason. Be it the next one with restrained excite- in a big city. Everyone ages diff erently, chasing after the 90s sitcom stars who thinking about reunions, reprisals because of low viewership, an issue ment. We’ll imagine it hopefully, but seeing stars with Botox and a few shaped our view of what that would and the general habit of bringing within the cast and production team, anticipating that the new version will extra pounds defi nitely breaks the mean. back the old. Honestly, I love Friends. or just the natural close of a franchise, somehow bring back our childhood, illusion of perfection. I don’t say this Name the title of any episode and I they end. A reprisal is never going teleporting us to a time long gone. to taunt or mock TV stars who no It’s time to start living can probably respond with a quote. to be as good as the original show. Sure, some old cynics will grit their longer fi t western cultural standards it ourselves. It’s my go-to easy TV show, the one Watching a new version, years later, teeth and refuse to view any new of beauty. I’m saying it to point out ANNA’S CULINARY CORNER

ast Sunday, I found myself at the to run, I run to eat. Not surprisingly, can get in your standard high-street  at said, I have visited Smokeworks  e trick is to go with a large enough Cambridge half marathon start then, much of my race plan focused chain Italian.  e menu has a feel of in my good vegetarian mode as well, group of people, as you must bulk Lline.  e weather was cold and I not on sporty things like pacing and classic home-cooking to it: the car- and the menu caters for this brilliant- order certain types of sushi, and only had a cold – in short, I was very much mile splits but on suffi ciently nutri- bonara is gloriously creamy (vegetar- ly: the veggie buns (the exact content a certain number of dishes is allowed questioning my life choices. tious post-race treats. ians can opt for mushrooms instead varies from day to day, but the hal- at your table at any one time. Some- of bacon – perfetto!) and the gnocchi loumi version was defi nitely a hit with what patronisingly, you must also But, as it happens, I’ve With all the wisdom I reaches melt-in-the-mouth levels me) are served in scrumptious bread, fi nish everything on the table before developed something accumulated from this, of fl uffi ness. While the quantities of the sweet potato fries are among the ordering more, and anything left over of a running ad- I bring to you my food may take a toll on the digestive best I’ve ever sampled, and, as a new at the end will be charged as an extra diction, and what top three big eats in system, they leave your wallet largely item on the menu, the mac ‘n’ cheese – I admit that this has on occasion wouldn’t an addict Cambridge. untouched: you can enjoy the so- fritters with truffl e oil and parmesan resulted in the use of pass-it-under- do to get their fi x. Hidden away in King called small portions for a bit over a provide an exciting new take on a the-table and hide-it-in-your-bag When describing Street, Clowns is a fi ver, and the special deals treat you to classic. Sharing is caring, and my tactics. A hidden gem, this is a way their passion for SMOKEWORKS quirky Italian café a main, drink, and dessert for around recommendation is to get plenty. Oh, to overdose on YO! Sushi-quality their chosen sport, and restaurant. Its a tenner. and did I mention the milkshakes? Japanese delights without risking my runner friends name derives from  e apple crumble one is essentially a bankruptcy. regularly refer to the surplus of clown- If you’re not one for pasta-based car- drinkable dessert. noble concepts such related art adorning boloading, you can fi nd a carnivore’s Carboloader, carnivore, or a as the sense of freedom, its walls; the inevitable paradise tucked away in Free School As a fi nal, somewhat hip sushi-lover, Cam- competing against yourself spookiness of the choice of Lane. Smokeworks is as trendy as lighter alterna- bridge has some big eats (I’ve started to wonder if the pleasure décor is somewhat lessened by the BBQ places get: sat at rustic wooden tive, there is the in store for everyone. I take in overtaking casual joggers in mamma mias and shouts of la pasta tables and stools, you order your epitome of hip and And you don’t have Grantchester meadows is a healthy è pronta! echoing from the kitchen food by turning on a bright red light healthy eating. to run around for motivation after all), and clearing of this Italian family-run business – I above your table.  e waiters appear Wasabi, Itsu, YO! 13 miles fi rst either. your mind from all worries. I am have MML friends who come and use within seconds, and more meat will Sushi – everyone U-SUSHI Need some essay not, however, equally noble-minded, the authenticity as speaking practice be on its way to you in no time at knows the trin- comfort? Looking for nor is this ‘Anna’s culinary-turned- for their Italian degrees. all. I wholly admit that I defi ned my ity of the central a social that doesn’t running corner’: yes, I enjoy all of post-half marathon meal as one of sushi chains. end too soon when all the above, but a particularly great Clowns’ generosity in linguistics and my ‘special occasions’ when I become Hidden behind the the food is gone? thing about running is the increased clowns alike extends to the portions a very naughty vegetarian indeed. Grafton,U-Sushi (yes, appetite it brings with it, along with sizes as well.  e portions dubbed And Smokeworks is defi nitely worth U, not YO) off ers quite a Bon appétit! the ability to eat more than otherwise ‘small’ on the menu correspond to the decadence: the must-eats here diff erent experience.  is is a without having to, quite literally, what most people would call ‘large’ include baby back pork spare ribs and small restaurant with big off erings: Anna has beeen shortlisted in the expand your wardrobe at regular in their home cooking, and they chicken wings smothered with but- for about £15, you can eat as much student category for the 2016 Words intervals. To put it bluntly, I don’t eat defi nitely exceed in quantity what you termilk and jalapeno sauce. sushi as you can possibly stomach. by Woman Awards. Submissions for The Mays Anthology XXIV are now open until Sunday 27th March at noon. The VarsiTy This year’s anthology is seeking a broader spectrum of creative talents than in previous years, crypTic crossword accepting all mediums of artistic work. We will be continuing last year’s move away from Set by Glueball confining categories as such constraints have often excluded some exceptional work. This year’s successful pieces will be featured with fluidity. We are particularly looking for work in Across forms that deviate from what is often featured in the conventional anthology. Whilst we 1. Propose sin, terrible continue to look for the best poetry, prose and artwork, we also hope to encourage those abuse (10) artists whose creative work lies outside of this traditional template. We encourage you to be as 7. Lace newly sewn with bold and creative as possible and you are welcome to contact us for any more information needle (5) about what it is possible to include. For example if you intended to submit a performance 8. Academic-type chap (5) piece or video, we would need to discuss practically how this could fit into the selected works. 10. Spirit oddly found in Guinea (3) //poetryprosepaintingphotographychoreographyscoresblueprintsprintingscripts// 12. London Underground terminal regularly visited FORMATTING GUIDELINES: Tower Hill event (9) 13. Teachers disapprove – You may submit no more than 3 pieces for consideration no religious studies?! (6) Each work must be on a separate document. Please do not include your name on the submission documents themselves. The selection meat (6) process will be blind. 17.14. SoundsPeace one like finds tennis with Literary submissions should be saved as .docx or .doc. player may be a dodgy Poetry submissions may be a maximum of 60 lines. dealer (9) Prose submissions should be a maximum of 2,500 words. 19. Eastern artist’s period Please state in your accompanying email whether any of your submissions are excerpts from (3) longer works. 20. In a last rally, looked Visual arts pieces should be submitted in .tiff or .jpg format, at the minimum image standard of starward (6) 300 dpi. 21. Eastern European has energy for labour (5) 23. Smith’s art involves Email your submissions to [email protected] 9. Faithfully, I cut short matins, at odds with forging gem, truly aluminium (10) diocese (10) Submissions must not have been previously published - Please ask if you need more 11. Seen coat, pinched wallet (8) Down information about this or rights agreements. 15. Ore also used for metal can (7) 1. Traditional, stupid royal bigot (10) 16. From the beginning, Athena entreated MAYS MENTORING: 2. Criticise cookware (3) Odysseus – leave Ithaca, arrive at island (6) 3. Before court, old king sets up (7) 18. English back Ireland’s rum (5) The Mays Anthology also runs an annual mentoring programme which pairs promising talent 22. Voice impression (3) with more experienced artists. Places are limited. Please state in your email if you wish to be (6) 21. Clansmen regularly have argument (4) considered for the scheme. 5.4. BabySufjan messes starts toup mend towel hood, (5) for example 6. Good lot late, confused about entry point Please submit answers to Good Luck! We look forward to receiving your work! (8) [email protected]. 22 Features Friday 4th March 2016

key? rowing. I could be sleeping now. but not a spot to relieve myself. Stop thinking about aged seamen, it’s Oh for f***’s sake. Sprint back to  e Cam is actually quite beautiful. probably not helping. I’m cold. At college. Second time lucky. I am Sir Non-rowers (mere mortals, I call least we’re not doing pieces today. Bradley Wiggins. Does the sodding them) will never see sunrise on the We’re doing pieces today? Who says? M&S lorry driver have a bounty on Cam. Ha-ha. Smug self-satisfaction.  e cox has no authority over the my head? I’m cold already. Which Sleep is for the weak. I kind of need coach. psychopathic sadomasochist invented a wee. the Jesus Green bicycle gate system? Coach, why would you betray me? Every stroke is now squeezing my One at a time. Christ. I wish other bladder. Rhythmically – that makes it humans were up to see me in my kit. worse.  is is torture. Might wear it to lectures. Do the boathouses really have to be OH GOD. I’M GOING TO GET Right, we’re spinning. Just got to so far from college? make it back to the boathouse. WEIL’S DISEASE. I AM GOING Distract yourself. Wonder how much Dismount. Hands are TO DIE OF WEIL’S DISEASE. that house is worth. Mental note to too cold to operate Zoopla it (other property websites my bike-lock. Sit are available). Probably has loads of in boathouse bathrooms. With toilets in them. with crew HAMISH UNGLESS and gaze Cambridge is defi nitely colder than Forgot the reach is the Cam’s version into space, the rest of England. Why is this? of the M25. If we have to “easy there” pondering How long will it take until I can see one more time.  is level of self-deni- THE INS AND OUTS life. Is 6 my abs? I wonder if Marxist-Leninist al must be unhealthy. On many levels. here yet? canal-boatman will be up today. My poor, poor bladder. I am soaking OF A MORNING Where is 6? What’s he been up to lately? already. No one would really notice... Someone No.  is is how whole civilisations OUTING ring 6. I bet Ergh – I’ve just swallowed some fall. Pull yourself together. uh? What time is it? 5:30? he’s in bed. water – not going to help the whole Bugger, I’ve overslept. Need on rowing and what we ‘mere mortals’ He’ll be in needing-a-wee situation. Oh god. I’m And we’re back. Don’t really need to porridge and coff ee, pronto. bed. Sleeping. going to get Weil’s disease. I am going go anymore actually. If I cycle home H are missing out on to die of Weil’s disease. What is Weil’s 6:20?! Need to stop stubbornly insist- Arse. He’s still quickly I can have second breakfast. ing on porridge and coff ee. Hold on in bed? Brilliant. disease? It sounds fairly unpleasant. Missed breakfast. I’ll skip Intensive – maybe it’s yellow fl ag! Please be yel- Well I’m not erging, Oof – caught a crab. Stop thinking Greek and just go to lectures at 11. low fl ag, please be yellow fl ag, please dwell we erged yesterday. about Weil’s disease and concentrate How do people with 9ams do this? be yellow fl ag. on He’ll be here in ten on rowing. Need a shower. that. minutes? Sure. Better get It’s never yellow fl ag. Do I have the boat out. Quite tired now. Hopefully we’ll Oh, have a bath, treat yourself. May time to go to the spin at the reach. Are we spinning? as well skip lectures again today, in Where’s my kit? What’s that smell? loo? Absolutely not. Right, go. Self- Customary anointing of feet in swan Nope, we’re going to the lock. I. Am. that case. Hugh Laurie rowed and got Oh my god. Seriously what is that? conscious jog to bike-rack. Where’s poo. 6 is here, conveniently. Everyone Desperate. Didn’t even have much a  ird. Look at him now. Priorities. When did I last wash this? Best not to my bike?  ere. Where’s my bike-lock passive-aggressively ignores 6. Finally, to drink. Water, water, everywhere,

Noa Lessof Gendler explains why panicking is pointless GRADUATION LOOMS

ll around me, people are but waiting tables in a café or bar, or, be South America or Southeast Asia. next four months faffi ng about other writing applications, fi lling in ideally, working in a book shop.  e As I said, I haven’t had a gap year yet. stuff and neglect my degree. Aforms, sending off CVs and Hampstead Waterstones is the big preparing for interviews. I, frankly, dream. And the last thing I will think about is Maybe it’s just because I know I’m not am doing nothing of the sort. applying for masters courses. I’ll take a multi-tasker, and I can only really my time, shop around, and make sure deal with one big pressure at a time. I’m lucky enough to say I am in no I put in as much eff ort as it is worth. particular hurry to enter the nine-to- And then, after that (assuming I actu- Maybe lots of other people can get on fi ve workforce. I have several luxuries ally get into a course somewhere) I’ll with their fi nals revision and organise at my disposal which mean I can take start this whole career thing. their career. But I know that if I over- my own sweet time right now: fi rstly, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVEN’T load myself I’ll just fail miserably at I have a good relationship with my GOT BIG LIFE PLANS But, crucially, I’m not worrying about everything I attempt, so I’m taking it parents and I’m from London, which anything apart from my degree until all one step at a time. means I really don’t mind moving AND AMBITIONS graduation. I’ve decided that nothing back home; secondly, there’s nothing I is more important right now than To anyone who’ll be graduating next want to do which requires a bunch of doing as well as I possibly can in my year, heed my advice. Enjoy your last internships or early applications; and exams, and that every other life plan few months at university when they fi nally, I didn’t take a gap year before I am specifi cally thinking of jobs you can wait until this bit is sorted out. come around and get stuck into your university. apply for at the time you want to It’s not like I haven’t got big life plans degree. A career will probably wait. work, nothing which requires months and ambitions – I totally have. Like,  en again, maybe I’m comfortably And so my glorious plan has taken of back and forth.  en, living at really big ones. deluded in trying to put off my entry shape. After graduation, I shall move home, I will save up as much as I can, into the real world. Perhaps now I’ll RUARAIDH GILLIES back home and attempt to get a job – so that by the end of the year I can do But I know that they’ll wait, and also never get a job and I’ll be stuck at ‘the big dream’ not in the city or at a consulting fi rm, some travelling. Obviously it’ll either I know that I’ll regret it if I spend the home forever. Somehow I doubt it. Friday 4th March 2016 Features 23

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE-ITY OF CAMBRIDGE

embarrassing amount of free t’s 12:30pm. You get up, time every day. Why wouldn’t watch a couple of old epi- you go to all of them? hat’s what I sodes of Parks and Recreation, everyone else will be doing.Your and head out into college; it’s alright, Amelia Robson failure to produce an essay this week you can come back to it later. You’re asks what would happen will only be a drop in a much larger feeling a bit hungover today, so natu- if the student body made a pact to stop ocean of complacency and under- rally you’re not going to open a book. performance. working? You pass the completely empty library he examinations system has been (it’s always empty on a hursday abandoning Reading List, and stretched and strained to its very nowadays), and catch up with one of our strong work consistently being limit. hey can’t, surely, give us all a your friends at the bar. ethics, we have enabled more productive than you. 2:2, can they? Would that not look a generation of students with unnecessary worse on the University? “I haven’t done any work today”, they more free time than ever to indulge Obviously, you can’t all see this, but in unproductiveness, and revel in our amount of extra reading. Individual I’m currently looking across at the tell you. However, they really mean it. supervisions are now a travesty that he examiners desperately try to It’s not just a blanket statement used terrible nightlife. student that this refers to right now mark our scripts, pitted against doesn’t even bear thinking about. , to cover up the hours of time they’ve as I’m writing feeling slightly hostile. a cohort of students who have all You head out to a paired supervision. Gone is that person in your subject hey’ve given up; you now have all been sweating over textbooks with a group who had their life together to spent a shameful amount of time feigned air of coolness. hey haven’t hese are awkward now that the the freedom you ever wanted, and googling images of ugly buildings partner that you used to rely on to the most worrying extent, working none of the guilt for not working. done any work. No one has. all the time, going on the Faculty across Eastern Europe, and trying help you out, conident that they You’ve got an exciting event on every to ind the worst dressed 90s boy We’ve dropped below Durham on the will have done the reading, no night this week. here are so many bands. he long-term prospects League Table. Student satisfaction longer exists. Group classes are fantastic plays, debates and and of Cambridge are starting to look is absolutely through the roof, but noticeably unstructured speaker events on all the slightly apocalyptic. admittedly our research is lagging without that one time in Cambridge, behind. It doesn’t matter, though, student who has and you You open your bleary eyes, slouched we can probably aford to ride it done an have an over the desk in your room, out for another decade or so on considering whether the paint fumes the back of our former prestige. coming of your wall are encouraging Even the Mathmos have started some of the vivid dreams you’ve been socialising. Everything has changed having. since the student body rose up and unanimously agreed to do less You have an essay deadline in work. two hours.

By ubiquitously lowering F**k’s sake. standards, and 24 Fashion Friday 4th March 2016

Victoria Bowden looks at the best and worst dresses on the red carpet ALLISON RICHARDS OSCARS 2016

Charlize Theron in Dior were just confused regarding the purple, the gown had a diagonal slit intricate patterning and design well, So, a little thing called the Oscars oddly placed sequin pattern adorning across the bodice, from shoulder and the train is a lovely touch.” “I love happened this week – you might If you’d believe social media eron the dress: “are those fi sh carcasses?” It to waist. Both ends of the slit were the applique on her dress - it is really have heard of it? I up Mon- was the undoubted winner of fashion seems that Vikander may have fallen adorned in massive fl owers. e dress intricate and such a powerful colour. day morning, watched Leonardo on the night. Her plunging red gown off her pedestal on exactly the wrong then fl owed out from the waist, in I think there is just enough of it that DiCaprio’s acceptance speech with train hugged her body in all the night of the year, let’s hope this is a what was admittedly a pretty skirt – it is the fi rst thing you notice but it (and 100 per cent did not, at all, right places. e shape of it reminded minor blip and not forecasting for the for a Disney princess, not a model. It’s isn’t too overwhelming, and nude is shed a tear) and then inevitably me of her 2004 Gucci Oscars dress, future. hard to make a model look awful, but a perfect background to show off the was on Vogue, Cosmo and every with a low V and small train. is congratulations Heidi, you succeeded, pattern.” And some, inevitably, were other site available looking at the one however is a more mature ver- Olivia Munn in Stella McCartney and it looks like everyone agrees just concerned about the practicali- dresses from the night. I enjoy sion with slightly more structure – it on this one: “Not a big fan of ties of the dress: “how does she walk the fact some just go for ‘here looked classically Dior. Cambridge Olivia Munn saved the reveal- this one, mainly because it isn’t in that? Apart from that, I quite like are the dresses’, some give them students seemed to love it too: “Wow, ing look for the Vanity Fair fi tted in any way. e top and it, but it’s not very practical.” Not to awards, and some actively sepa- this is bold – defi nitely a ‘look at me’ Oscar after party – looking bottom halves of the dress are make it a competition, but I think in rate the ‘best and worst dressed’. dress. It is really tight across her bum like an intergalatic warrior in contrast with one another, in terms of maternity dressing Teigen What really confuses me though and belly which with the deep plunge in a beaded green J Mendel that the open top half does no blew Emily Blunt (in a Prada number) is that some dresses will simul- could be a bit too much, but the long gown, complete with a justice to the classier bottom out of the water. taneously make the best dressed train gives it a slightly more relaxed daring thigh high split and part of the dress.” “ at’s just and worst dressed lists. Fashion is shape. Quite often Oscars dresses are cut outs. However, you like barbie dress gone wrong, like Kate Winslet in Ralph Lauren tricky, high fashion even trickier so unusual you remember the dress know a woman’s done well when you’re playing with dolls – high fashion on the biggest but forget the person wearing it, when the media isn’t talk- and you try and edit the dresses She normally gets it so right; she’s night in fi lm? at’s the trickiest. but this look is all about showing off ing about this gown, but and fail, it’s not very classy, it been gracing the Oscar red carpet Charlize’s amazing body.” “A classic instead about the much looks like a cool material to look for almost two decades, and she very Celebrities want to stand out, and unbeatable combination of length more conservative one at but not wear.” “Too complicated very rarely gets it wrong. However, they want to make a statement and colour. While the neckline is low she wore to the Oscars. In – the way the material falls is re- Hollywood life is asking ‘hit or miss?’ – if they don’t they get labelled cut, it is complimented by the gown’s my opinion Munn looked ally pretty, but the skirt is too full, of this years dress, and I have to reso- boring, and no matter how nice overall length. e dress straps open resplendent in an orange and there is too much going on lutely say miss. Sophisticated is how the dress is they are disregarded up the top of the dress’ design so that one-shouldered dress – at the top, so you lose her natural Winslet is normally described – her when it comes to well dressed there isn’t as much red colour in one the colour made her shape.” “It looks like she’s wear- Giorgio Armani gown at the Screen lists. Take Rooney Mara, who block, and the lowered back is sexy stand out, whilst keep- ing a curtain, she’s going for Actors Guild Awards this year proved looked stunning, but garnered and chic.” It seems like eron had a ing it simple and classy. some ethereal look but she just to be no exception. It was a fi gure- the ‘biggest yawn’ award from fl awless year. Not many people could looks stupid.” We can hugging mermaid dress in a beautiful Cosmo because, admittedly, she pull of the colour, so ku- safely say this year forest green. Her Oscar dress had looks the same as she always Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton dos to Munn for knowing was not a success the ingredients to be another success does: pale dress, tick; simple hair, what works with her skin for Klum. – black, simple and fi gure hugging, tick; dark lipstick, tick. Her dress Vikander has been hitting the nail on tone and rocking it! e all perfect descriptors. Yet this dress could almost be mistaken for the the head when it comes to fashion. Cambridge critics however Chrissy Teigen in Marchesa seemed to be made from rubber, one she wore at the Met Gala Her dress at this years BAFTAs was had mixed opinions on the dress: or another highly refl ective mate- 2013 in NYC, or the 2012 Oscars, also a Luis Vuitton creation, a “Orange = not a good colour, Teigen has been showing all through- rial, which made it look more like a or the London premiere of Girl quirky mixture of leather and especially on the red carpet. e out this awards season that being very structured bin bag than a dress with the Dragon Tattoo. You get studs which added drama design is simple and laid-back, but pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t befi tting this 2016 Academy Award the picture, she’s done it before. to a simple structure that the block colour is not easy on the be fashionable. At the Oscars she nominated actress. Oscars are the time to be daring fl attered her shape. Yet at eye.” “She just looks like an or- donned a fi gure hugging dress; it and diff erent, so many gorgeous the Oscars she wore a lemon ange.” However others appreciat- was perhaps my favourite of all the Let’s see what other people thought: women walk the red carpet that if coloured strapless gown ed the bold colour choice: “ is is dresses worn – daring, adventur- “ is is awful – I love Kate Winslet you want your dress to be some- that came in at the waist, so elegant – the fi tted skirt makes ous, with a simple shape. Her dress but the straight neckline ruins the thing everyone talks about the and then billowed out in a her look so slim and delicate, but was long sleeved and made of a nude fl ow of her gorgeous curves, and the next day it needs to stand out. style that reminded me of a the loose fabric at the top gives the material that blended expertly with skirt is just weird – it looks like the duvet. Some compared her dress some movement so it doesn’t her skin tone, this was covered in a dressmaker had too much fabric and Unfortunately for some this talk to Belle from Beauty and look stiff . I love the colour too – it red appliqué of fl owers and leaves just kind of knotted it all at her hip.” isn’t always positive; for exam- the Beast – a far cry from works really well on such a simple to create a timeless look. Her train “Not keen on the shiny look, but a ple, Amy Poehler wowed in an her normal svelte and mature dress.” “I like the colour, it’s nice fl ared out behind her and classically cut dress to fi t a womanly unfortunate semi-kimono for fashion choices. e reviews and bright.” It seems like orange her doting husband (John fi gure. Kate’s overall look is basic, which the media slated her the I got from it included “a bit will always be a hit and miss Legend) arranged it per- but eff ective. Black is a colour you next day. Sofi a Vergara stuck to funny but I quite like it, the colour, but Munn is one of fectly for the press photos. cannot go wrong with, and draws a well-loved formula of tight and bottom looks frumpy” and the few people that seems ere seemed to be some out her golden locks perfectly.” Some fi gure hugging (does anyone else “I like the style, but I’m to have hit with it! mixed reviews from were more harsh with their criti- remember the Zuhair Murad teal not sure about the colour students however, with cism: “it looks like a pre-Oscars gown disaster at the 2012 Em- or the pattern – I like one stating that “it looks car repair has gone wrong and her mys?). I glossed past this when the bottom, it’s cool, it’s like arteries and veins, dress now has a permanent oil looking at dresses – it was dull. quite classic in a way be- and also Grandma’s stain. Or maybe she’s just melt- Yet some sites loved it, and some cause it comes in at the wallpaper.” However, ing.” And my favourite quote hated it, which goes to show, very waist and fl ares out.” Some most seemed to love has to be “It looks as though few people can get it right. loved it: “I love the raised front it: “A very busy design, Titanic had a bit of a leak.” on this one because it makes the dress with lots to draw the I decided to pick six dresses that I a bit more modern and casual, rather Heidi Klum in Marchesa eye to. e neckline It seems to be a miss this thought people would either love than a lengthy ball gown design. e is classy and not too year, though I’m sure that her or hate, and ask around to get yellow is bright and alluring, espe- She hosts ‘Project Runway’, and she revealing, and the good friend DiCaprio (fi nally) opinions on them. e results go cially with the silver detail. On the has done for 12 years. You would fi gure-hugging de- winning an Oscar defi nitely to show that fashion unanimity is whole, the piece is fresh and young, expect someone who hosts a fashion sign shows off the overshadowed almost impossible when talking but also classy and elegant.” Some show to have some grasp of fashion, actress’ beautiful social media’s to Cambridge students, let alone hated it: “strap-less dresses just look and yet Klum’s gown this year was fi gure. e con- awful reviews of fashion experts. like the designer got to the armpits possibly the worst on the red carpet. trasting colours her dress! and then gave up.” And some people A chiff on mixture of lilac, white and work to show off the Friday 4th March 2016 Fashion 25 AFTER DARK

Models: Beth Cloughton, Hugh Hathaway, Torben Heinsohn, Lauren Brown, Edison Rragami

Photography: Callum Hale-Thomson 26 heatre Friday 4th March 2016

A JOHANNES HJORTH WEST SIDE STORY

Ellie Coote analyses her directorial debut

ing’s Parade. 9pm. Tom and to telling everyone what to do still Ellie are on their way to seemed a daunting task. When we Kperform in ‘A New Musical asked other directors, “what’s the in Concert’ at the ADC heatre. It’s irst thing we need to learn?” they all windy. gave the same answer: “Just pretend you know what you’re doing. he Tom: “I wish someone would apply rest will follow.” Running a rehearsal, with West Side Story.” you can’t aford to be unsure. “I don’t know” isn’t a viable response when Ellie: “Same, it’s my favourite someone asks you: “Where should I musical.” stand?” From this moment on, acting and directing didn’t seem so diferent Tom: “Mine too!” after all. So I made the decision to leave myself at the door and enter the DING. A spotlight appears on them rehearsal room as Trevor Nunn… as they lock eyes – Our irst big challenge wasn’t direct- – Sorry, no, this is not the start of ing, however: it was scheduling. I can a terribly meta (and badly scripted) honestly say that the hardest part of musical about two friends deciding directing West Side Story was sched- to direct West Side Story. his is the uling a rehearsal for 25 cast members true story of two completely inexperi- plus a co-director and musical direc- enced actors who decided to take on tor. Scheduling is like a giant black the mammoth task of directing the hole that consumes you for three second biggest show of the year, after hours before you realise you’re ive Working as a directorial pair without the Footlights/CUADC Pantomime. minutes late to another rehearsal. We a director-assistant relationship I’d like to say it happened as a ‘DING’ love our cast. But God do they do a has had its own challenges: on the movie moment, but in fact it took a lot of stuf. And that seems to be the small matters that we occasionally couple of days of hysterical could we/ eternal problem with such a brilliant disagreed on, there was never any should we-ing and um-ing and ah-ing bunch; with talent comes demand. It’s hierarchy of authority to cut a knot before we decided to take the leap. at these stressful moments that I’ve between us. At the same time, we’ve here were many arguments on both had to remind myself: his is amateur learnt so much about each other from sides of the equation, but the deciding theatre, we are directing an amateur it – we’ve learnt to look after each factor was the ever trusted “why not?” production of West Side Story, and other (we’ve had to with such a colos- you are not actually Trevor Nunn. sal task…), and more signiicantly I’ll begin our emotional journey we’ve learnt where our individual by referring you to the message I directorial strengths lie; often inding received from Tom one minute after certain kinds of rehearsals lending I told him I’d sent in the applica- themselves to one director or the tion (incidentally, one minute before other. Developing these working the deadline). It reads: “we applied MIRACULOUSLY, NOTHING relationships is so exciting as it allows for the LTM [Lent Term Musical] you to begin to see a future for your- wtf.” Disregarding the statement of TERRIBLE HAPPENED self in the industry, in the knowledge the obvious, this was a very apt and that these people who you click with astute comment at the time. It’s not creatively won’t suddenly disappear just ‘what the f***’ but rather, ‘what once you graduate. the f***?’ At this point, neither of us All of this becomes worth it, how- knew the irst thing about directing, ever, when you inally get into the he reason why the Cambridge let alone directing and managing a rehearsal space and are allowed to do theatre scene can seem intense is cast of 25. Jump cut to me writing the only part of the job you thought because everyone is intensely in love this exactly one week before opening you were signing up for: directing. with what they’re doing. Investing the night and it’s diicult to comprehend With a spoonful of conidence and hours and the energy that we do for how we ended up here. false pretence in hand we began the ten days of performances seems so rehearsal process. Miraculously, trivial to an outsider. Yet directing has Making the transition from actor to nothing terrible happened. I’d spent given me more skills than my degree director is in some ways a natural so much time worrying about how I has managed in nearly two years. I’m progression. You already understand was going to direct each individual a far more organised, dedicated, em- the process involved in creating a scene or line that I’d forgotten I had a pathetic and conident person than at show, just from the wrong end of cast of talented actors and a co-di- 9pm on King’s Parade when I um-ed the production line. You also have rector who reinforced me, disagreed and ah-ed over applying for a show. the distinct advantage of knowing with me and kept me on my toes. I Cambridge theatre can feel exclusion- what you like in a director, and, more thought directing was going to be like ary. But the thing I’ve learnt from this importantly, what you don’t like. teaching. In fact, all you really are whole experience is that sometimes, his has been reinforced in the other is a facilitator. You’re the something you just have to ask yourself “why direction as well. As actors, learn- actors can bounce of, the interpreter not?” and remember that nothing’s ing how your cast take direction, when the text is confusing, and the worth doing if it’s not at least a little and thinking about what a director guide when an authoritative voice bit scary. is looking for has been invaluable. is needed. he feeling of getting a From casting, to blocking on paper, to scene right, of gelling with an actor or And be Trevor Nunn. Always be the rehearsal room, I’m certain that explaining yourself with the most apt Trevor Nunn. the way we both approach perform- analogy that somehow makes sense to ing in the future will be completely everyone is such a wonderful feeling, West Side Story runs from Wednesday reformed. However, making the leap and one that I’d happily learn to love 9th - Saturday 19th March at the from always being told what to do scheduling for. ADC. Friday 4th March 2016 heatre 27

show and no one would have been can be a he or a she or an it. Crow down in this rough draft of a script able to step in and learn the whole exists in a liminal space between be- kind of thing, and then Sam and I thing in one day. We had to cancel. ing anything. he idea is that Crow would sit down and thrash out all he ADC were as helpful as possible engages with these creation myths these ideas until they made more during the whole process. hey were and tries to participate in them as a sense for the stage. We’d both throw really supportive. But they’d already character as a means of attempting increasingly mad ideas into the mix- inished their programming for this to create itself alongside them. But it ture until we reached a kind of limit term so we couldn’t reapply to do the never works and Crow just ends up and would have to bring it back down show there, which is why we’re now deconstructing the myths. It boils to reality. performing Crow at Fitz. down to him accepting himself as himself. One of Sam’s biggest inluences has he cast have been really really been printing. he poetry collec- wonderful. hey’ve had no ob- We’ve pre-recorded a load of poems tion was written by Ted Hughes in ligation to stay with Crow from the collection and we’re going to response to an artist who had printed after it crashed the irst play them through the theatre sound loads of images of crows and wanted time around but they system while the actors perform on some poems to go alongside them. were all emotion- the stage. We’re trying to make sure Monoprinting, it’s called. Sam is going ally invested in it there’s no gap between the poems to be monoprinting on stage for the and have gone and the production. he idea is that whole performance, and a camera out of their way what’s happening on the stage is just will be projecting a live feed of what EMMA ANSELL to stick by it. one component, and it’s of equal he’s doing with his hands on to the Which is re- weight to the poetry. It’s been a really walls. So he’s actually involved in the ally great be- good project for involving people. performance as well, as the printer, cause I know Most of the poems have been pre- totally independent to what’s happen- how busy recorded and each one has been read ing everywhere else. ith efortlessly windswept CROW they all are. by a diferent person. In terms of just hair and a lilting Scottish We’ve kept performing, whether on stage or in a An important aspect of the poetry accent, Sam arrives at our it simmering recording, around thirty people have collection is the relentless under- W speaks with Sam Fulton, director of the interview with his cello in tow. he over, meeting been involved. It’s been a great way mining of its own melodrama, its artistic brainchild of both himself (as delayed production two or three to reach out across the university and refusal to take itself too seriously. director) and Sam Fairbrother (the times a week, get as many people in as possible. his became central to most of the choreographer), Crow was cancelled and now that it’s discussions Sam and I had, we were last term following a medical emer- happening next The Process always aware of the production’s gency. It is set to be performed on the week we’re bashing potential to become pretentious if Fitzwilliam College stage on the 8th per out the rehearsals as I was reading the poetry collection in we didn’t incorporate some sense of March. We chatted about the acci- en- much as possible. Easter last year, so it’s been brewing of self-parody, an awareness of how dent, deconstructing creation myths, thusiastic for almost a year now. he poems are ridiculous some parts of the text and monoprinting, and naked ballet. cast. We’d The Premise just really densely visual. he colour the show can be. So to make this work done our paper- black is everywhere. So I thought it we’ve juxtaposed moments of serious, The Accident tech. We’d built the set. hen two his production is based on Ted would look really cool on stage. Over melancholy physical theatre against nights before the performance our Hughes’s poetry collection Crow. In the summer Sam Fairbrother and I the outright ridiculous. hink naked Originally Crow was going to be lead man, Elliot Wright, fell over dur- the poems, Ted Hughes takes creation got chatting, and sketched out this ballet. performed at the ADC, for one ing a rehearsal and tore a ligament in myths from around the world and he show. He’s the choreographer, and night only, towards the end of last his knee. We had to call an ambulance stitches them all together. He puts the we’ve worked really closely through- Crow will be on at 10pm, Tuesday term. We’d been working through to the ADC to take him to hospital. igure of Crow in the middle of these out the whole process. Essentially I 8th March, at Fitzwilliam College Michaelmas with our really great, su- Elliot is very much the star of the myths. Crow isn’t really anything: it had a bunch of ideas, which I wrote Auditorium. Eleanor Costello interviews Jamie Armitage, director,

and the woman playing Richard II, Bea Svistunenko AMELIA OAKLEY

RICHARD II

he irst thing to say is that I was curious about the decision As Jamie said, we’re not women play- Jamie joins in enthusiastically. “It’s an Jamie bought me brunch, and to have an all-female cast. Jamie ing men, but we’re not women playing interesting play to watch because the I ask whether they like Richard. hey TBea talked about an amazing shrugged as he tucked into his women either. We’re politicians, and history side is there, but it’s not about squirm. “I deinitely think he’s a lot of article she’d read the previous week in sausage. “In all honesty, it just so hap- royals, and you can’t assign a gender that. What I like about the play is that fun to be around when he’s not ‘king- Varsity – which was written by yours pened that when I was thinking about to that. every single character thinks that ing’” says Bea slowly. “He has a circle truly. So I think we can safely say that which actors that I wanted to play what they are doing is right. here is of friends who hang around with they are both excellent human be- Richard and Bolingbroke, I thought no evil character. It’s incredibly reduc- him not just because he’s the king, ings. Jamie had a boyish energy as he that they would be best played by tive if you think about it in terms of but because he’s such an interesting, talked about the play whilst cheerfully female actors. And then there are so ‘Richard is evil’ or ‘Bolingbroke is evil’. lowery, poetic person. But as soon attacking a plate loaded high with many male characters in that play here are so many interesting char- as he has to do important things, the brunch. he production was unusual that I thought it would dominate the IT JUST HAPPENS TO acters who all have very particular things that matter in politics, he be- for two reasons, he informed me: its narrative, the idea of these women aims, and that’s what the audience can comes a petulant child. He’s just not location at Emmanuel Chapel, and its surrounded by men. It wasn’t what BE A WORLD IN WHICH enjoy, and will make them realise that suited to reign England.” Jamie is less all-female cast. he location wasn’t I wanted for this. So we used an all- history plays aren’t cut of from their sympathetic: “He’s an absolute basket without its challenges. “When you’re female cast. It’s not women playing EVERYONE IS A WOMAN knowledge. I have a friend who always case. He’s incredibly arrogant, he’s in the ADC the audience is all in one men, it just happens to be a world in says ‘Shakespeare didn’t write issues, incredibly brash, he’s dismissive and place, but in the chapel you have a which everyone is a woman. In terms he wrote themes’, in this incredibly cruel, and you don’t really feel sorry central avenue and the audience is of what has been thrown up it’s been “he costumes are going to be gowns, grandiose way. I think that’s a nice for him. It’s only when everything falls facing in. Creating distance is actually very interesting. It suddenly becomes quite ethereal, so as women we’re still way of looking at it. Everyone latches out of place and you see that he’s only so much more powerful, because it much less like a macho display of going to look quite feminine. But then onto what appeals to them. human that you sympathise. He never becomes like a tennis match. You’re masculinity and military might, but you have the language and the politics should have been in that position, looking between the actors, from much more beautiful and softer.” of it all, which can make it sound mas- If everyone comes out thinking the where a crown is determined purely here to there, and you don’t have a culine. And that’s ine. It can be both.” same thing, it’s didactic, propaganda- by birth. It’s a fascinating portrayal chance to get everybody in one in a “I would say it’s androgynous,” Bea I can imagine Bea as Richard. here’s based theatre. If people enjoy it and of an incredibly arrogant person who TV-screen way. Above all it’s really chimed in, whilst Jamie looked dubi- something quietly steely about her. I feel engaged then that’s the main manufactures his own downfall.” nice to be working in a space where ously at her. She frowned at him. suggest that Shakespearean history thing. With Shakespeare, it’s not just all of the grandeur has been created “Yeah, it’s androgynous. It’s about the plays are dull. hey both look faintly about reinterpreting it, it’s about “Yasmin actually came up with an by the inherent architecture. Having a poetry of the lines, and Richard’s fall incredulous. Bea recovers from her inding an interesting angle. he play alternative title,” Bea interjects, pull- beautiful building which has a black- – which is better for the country, but shock irst. “he language…Richard isn’t a historical artefact or museum ing out her phone to show me. “It was and-white marble loor and a beauti- for the individual is utterly heart- II is just so beautiful. Working on it piece. You’re trying to do it for your really itting. Ah, here it is. ‘Frippery: ful glass chandelier, lit by candles, it’s breaking. hat’s not about gender, so I now I may even say it’s my favourite time, inding how this play speaks to Or how to lose friends and alienate so exciting.” don’t know that it makes a diference. Shakespeare play.” us now.” people’. It works, right?” 28 Reviews Friday 4th March 2016 VIVEK BHOGADI

celebration of traditional Asian and importance, having been founded by FASHION SHOW Indian fashion. e fashion was a mix- his great-grandmother in India. e ture of colourful prints and creative charity aims for the ‘upliftment of Mastana designs, in celebration of Hindu Soc’s women and children’ and has already cultural heritage. e amount of eff ort been overwhelmingly successful, e Guildhall, 26/02/16 that went into creating the designs training 2,600 women in computer was shown, as the catwalk glistened training, and off ering science pro-  with all the colours of the rainbow, grammes to 4,700 school children of from ruby red to emerald green – the primary-school age. It also provides ast Friday, Cambridge wit- fashion on show was just as exciting support for hearing impaired chil- nessed a full fusion of fun, to watch as that from CUCFS sev- dren and as of today and continues L as the Cambridge University eral weeks ago. Bollywood music was to strive towards better welfare for Hindu Cultural Society hosted the mixed with Western beats for a musi- both women and children alike. e annual Mastana at the Guildhall. e cal melange of global proportions. value of female employment to India’s 20th anniversary of the annual event e Mastana President, Sara future is vital – not only has it been did not disappoint; in fact, quite pos- Sathyanandha, commented on the proven that female employment and sibly, this Mastana could have been evening: “ e atmosphere on Friday equality can improve social wellbe- the best yet! e show hosted a de- was buzzing; there was cheering ing but also creates a richer and more lightful mix of fashion, food, drink, throughout the performances and prosperous nation. music and theatrical entertainment laughing throughout the play. It was Not only is Mastana about celebrat- – it was certainly a show you did not an extremely enjoyable evening of en- ing the diversity of culture – but the want to miss. e entertainment of tertainment”. e festival was ‘buzz- night was also about raising aware- the evening was in abundance and ing’ – louder and livelier than any ness for a cause vital for the future of energised the guests into full swing. other event in Cambridge this term. India. e festival provided an atmos- e theme put a spin on traditional e festival itself lasted for three phere of exhilaration and, with a range Asian and Hindu culture; this year hours – not only was it value for mon- of diff erent activities on off er, the vibe the society aimed to create a fu- ey, but also the money raised will go of the event was certainly energetic; sion of fun between both British and to charity. e charity which Mastana at no point in the evening did the en- Asian culture. e synthesis of both are supporting this year is the Bhagini ergy of the dancers, guests and singers worlds into one cleverly added a twist Nivedita Pratishthan Pune, founded in slow down. Bollywood music com- on this year’s Mastana festival; tradi- 1979. It focuses on both women and bined with plentiful food and drink tional Hindu culture was ignited with children in some of India’s peripheral (not to mention the Paneer canapes) new and current trends. e festival rural villages. e charity not only fo- and fun-fi lled entertainment, the at- commemorated the cultural diversity cuses on improving female education, mosphere of the Guildhall was truly from all around the world – while also employment opportunities and chil- pulsating – what more could you want celebrating the assortment of culture dren’s education, but is also a char- from a cultural festival? Cambridge is present at Cambridge. ity which has a personal connection. truly a hub for global culture, and the One of the highlights of the evening Aalok Patwardhan is the president of festival of Mastana put life back into was the showing of an Indian play the Hindu Cultural Society; person- Cambridge’s diversity. with a Western-fi lled twist – plus the ally, this charity means a great deal of Emily Fishman

(this is perhaps the fi lm’s only blind outlaws and nightmarish cannibals. FILM spot: more on that later). ough one Kurt Russell gives a commanding per- repeated – but there is no reward for of the pair is killed, the other, David formance as the town’s fi rm yet lov- FILM paying attention to them. Bone Arquette’s witless and immoral Purvis, able sheriff . Even Matthew Fox’s per- My History of Art friend, who survives and escapes to Bright Hope, formance is funny and charming – a watched the fi lm with me and as such Tomahawk a small nowhere town. Despite town million miles away from his stint as Dr A Bigger Splash represents a not-to-be-ignored 14.3 dir. Luca Guadagnino, 124 mins dir. S. Craig Zahler, 132 mins sheriff Franklin Hunt’s (Kurt Russell) Jack Shephard on the bizarro desert per cent of the audience response, told best eff orts to keep the suspicious in- island in Lost that made him a house- me, as we weaved between tottering terloper locked up over night, Purvis hold name.  drunks outside Spoons, that it seemed  is recaptured by the troglodytes, along e fi lm’s major fl aw, as hinted to her that “the director was, like, ‘isn’t with the town’s doctor (Lili Simmons) at above, lies in Zahler’s monstrous ince watching A Bigger Splash it funny that people think we’re mak- ight from the word go, multi- and the Sheriff ’s deputy (Evan tribe of Native Americans. ey are last night, most people I’ve ing art and all we have is Italian scen- talented S. Craig Zahler’s latest Jonigkeit). e resulting rescue mis- a language-less group of cave dwell- S bumped into have asked me ery, lots of actors and some narrative.’” R off ering, Bone Tomahawk, is an sion, orchestrated by Hunt and three ers whom Bright Hope’s resident, ex- whether or not I liked it. is means For there is some narrative. e unforgiving and mesmerising visual of Bright Hope’s best, is perilous, and pert on all things indigenous, takes I keep having to respond with ‘I liked fi lm revolves around the sexual ten- assault. Set in the Old West at the turn there is a sticky end in store for more great pains to distance himself from: watching it but I’m not sure if I like sions created by the unexpected gath- of the century, the fi lm follows a group than one of the fi lm’s impressive cast “ ey’re a spoilt bloodline of inbred it’, which is the kind of lame pseudo- ering of four characters in a remote of four men whose journey across the of characters. But, as novelist Ursula animals that rape and eat their own paradoxical, pseudo-intellectual frip- villa: Marianne (Tilda Swinton), an American outback to save their fellow K. Le Guin once wrote: “It is good to mothers.” If, at this point, we are be- pery that my supervisor calls ‘fancy old school glam rocker who’s rest- settlers becomes an exercise of endur- have an end to journey toward; but ginning to think that Zahler’s canni- footwork’, recommending that I try to ing her voice after an operation, Paul ance and comradeship in the face of it is the journey that matters, in the bals might be an off ensive and savage come to an actual conclusion. But the (Matthias Schoenaerts), her introvert terrible adversity. end.” Certainly this is true of Bone rendering of America’s native popula- fi lm is not one that makes itself availa- documentary-maker boyfriend, Harry After brutally murdering a small Tomahawk, a fi lm that is Revenant- tion, we are reassured that though “a ble to conclusions; it has no clear genre (Ralph Fiennes), her ex-boyfriend group of travellers, two bandits (Sid esque in its gripping portrayal of man like you [Sheriff Hunt] would not or preoccupation guiding it, not even a and music producer rhapsode, and Haig and David Arquette), proudly solitude and struggle, of humankind distinguish them from Indians […] consistent inclination towards comedy Penelope (Dakota Johnson) the newly declare their devotion to the ‘civilised’ dwarfed by the beauty and grandeur they’re something else entirely.” or absurdity. e plot description on discovered daughter of Harry and world of white America (the irony of a vast American landscape. Somehow, this explanation doesn’t Wikipedia is two and a half lines long. beach blonde nymphet. It’s worth the is not lost on the viewer), stumble Packed with memorable lines (“I quite cut it, and the fi lm suff ers from Every detail is made to feel suggestive ticket price for the acting alone. Tilda across an eldritch and skull-adorned know the world’s supposed to be an out-dated brand of primitivism. of something in the offi ng – the act of Swinton is utterly captivating as, al- burial site. is, it quickly transpires, round,” muses Jenkins’s character, is being said, it is a fi lm well worth picking up and throwing away snakes, though she barely speaks, she draws the is ‘troglodyte’ territory – a mysterious, Chicory, “but I ain’t so sure about this seeing, one that, as the Guardian’s and news of the refugees arriving on characters around and to her with her fl esh-eating clan of Native Americans part”), Bone Tomahawk is a captivat- Peter Bradshaw rightly puts it, feels the Sicilian island (Pantelleria by the signature hard-edged sexuality, which who communicate through mutilated ing tale of American resilience that “destined for cult status”. way) are details that are pointedly is softened here by the gorgeous throats with blood-curdling screams pulls you into its world of reckless Tom Cornelius Friday 4th March 2016 Reviews 29 ALBUM ALBUM STUDIO CANAL Macklemore & The 1975 This Unruly Mess I’ve Made I Like It When You Sleep... released 26/02/16, (self-released) released 26/02/16, Polydor / Dirty Hit   t has been suggested that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis he 1975 have long been promoted through hype. are the Coldplay of hip-hop. Listening to ‘St. Ides’, Chris  eir eponymous debut album, released in 2013, had I Martin could sue for copyright violation: “And when I T great success following extensive touring, the grad- lose perspective / Need to go to a place where I lose reception ual development of an army of loyal fans, and the launch of / Looking at the satellites pass by / Refl ecting on my past life”. support EPs that created a substantial body of work, often It’s not that Macklemore’s rapping is insincere – sincerity is centred around deeply personal lyrics. After much, much the one thing he has going for him. It’s just hard to listen to more touring, and a deletion followed by a swift reboot of an hour of songs that siphon everything that’s mawkish and all their social media using a new pink and white aesthetic, gauche about self-help-life-coach-mulch. their follow-up project has fi nally entered their listeners’  e duo’s second album is barely a progression on their lives: I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful Yet Grammy-scooping e Heist, but they’ve halved their out- So Unaware of It. While it reads like a quotation from a put of ‘conscious’ raps, as Macklemore insists we call them. Pablo Neruda poem and may well be a little overblown – as He instead fi xes attention to himself, and it turns out he is is the band’s image in general – it does encapsulate the curi- not a very interesting man. Tracks like ‘St. Ides’ and ‘ e ous mix of sentiments that come through in this record. Train’ are coated in a weary optimism that makes for easy Whereas the band had previously focused on issues per- and pleasant listening. But their headphone refl ects on taining to teenagers in the popular songs ‘Chocolate’, ‘Sex’ listening to music on dreary weekends, and it leaves little and ‘Girls’, they have now shifted towards issues that are room for any real feeling. perhaps more mature, and which certainly give more cause Self-consciousness runs rampant, not least through open- for anxiety: the eff ects of drug use, bereavement, and the ing track ‘Light Tunnels’, a rehash of his apology to Kendrick breakdown of relationships, particularly poignantly on Lamar after swiping the 2013 Grammy for Rap Album, and ‘Somebody Else’, one of the highlights of the album.  e move throughout, Macklemore pushes the limits of the market- from the adolescent to the adult was diffi cult to manoeuvre ability of guilt. He has, however, got a raw deal for album given that many fans were disappointed with the release of closer ‘ II’ – as a song, it is plagued by lyri- the 80s-infl ected ‘Love Me’ back in October. However, if the cal immaturity and overproduction, but as a statement, it’s band wants to stay relevant, they need to evolve and grow not empty. Just as only a black artist should have the space alongside their young audience, which is what this release to discuss problems of the black community, only someone sets out to do.  e band is undeniably reworking its image, like Macklemore can explore the dilemma of cultural ap- and luckily enough, they have succeeded. propriation for white rappers. If he doesn’t talk about it, High points of the album include the singles ‘ e Sound’, he doesn’t acknowledge his privilege, and if he does, he’s which is proving to be a fan favourite, ‘UGH!’, a scatty, lively turning white guilt into another packaged product. It’s a musing on drug use, and ‘A Change of Heart’ (if you’re only catch-22 worthy of expression. His view is not the most so- going to listen to one song off the album, make it this one). phisticated, but the plethora of voices on the track – fans, While these more upbeat songs are defi nitely more acces- disgruntled white people, impassioned and frustrated black sible, the more ambient or instrumental songs shouldn’t be people, himself in centre stage – is not entirely uninspired. discarded.  ey are a tougher but similarly rewarding listen, When he’s not trying to be Seattle’s Akala, though, he’s ‘ e Ballad of Me and My Brain’ being a case in point. Here writing genuinely funny novelty rap. ‘Downtown’ is the duo and across the album, the lyrics are seriously impactful; at their best, rechannelling the same energy that went into fans with a good ear will spot the updating and reworking ‘ rift Shop’: Ryan Lewis lays his usual romping brass while of some of the best lines from past songs ‘Robbers’ and ‘ e Macklemore riff s with dexterity on the niche topic of mo- City’ into ‘A Change of Heart.’ peds. ‘Let’s Eat’ is similar fare – instead of a vapid critique of However, there are a few misses in this mix: even the body image issues, it decides to frolic around healthy-living most obsessive fan must admit that ‘If I Believe You’ is self- tropes like paleo, yoga and Fitbits: “I never knew what a car- indulgent on Matty Healy’s part. It seems that the strong- bohydrate was / Turns out that it’s all the snacks I love”. est songs on the album are those in which frontman Healy Unfortunately, unless they’re willing to metamorphose acknowledges, and therefore mitigates, his own pretention. fully into ‘Weird Al’ Yankovich, the duo won’t last.  ey’ve  is self-deprecation was the most striking and funny as- talked as much as they can about drug abuse, consumer pect of the video for ‘Love Me’, and is frankly the only retort culture, the perils of fame, and race, and in their often su- to what is often the harsest criticism received by the band. perfi cial treatments have made hard work out of topics that Despite its assured swagger, the album is not a faultless, should be constant founts of inspiration. fi ve-star masterpiece. My only, barely present, criticism is If Kanye’s e Life of Pablo showed us anything, it is that that it’s diffi cult to read the album as a whole. Although the music can and should be challenging; rap maybe more so variety of styles used, ranging from bare acoustic melodies than anything else. is Unruly Mess I’ve Made isn’t artistry, to heavy guitars or ambient production, is one of the album’s but there’s worse things you can have on your phone for key strengths, it does create an incoherence that is a little a three-hour train journey.  at might well be their most unsettling. Of course, that’s probably what they were aiming damning criticism. Rahul Savadia for all along. Isabel Maloney wardrobe Raf Simons (ex-creative direc- up from the bottom in one breath and tor of Dior) provides. It is certainly very dumps them in front of him, declar- thousands of problems / I don’t have any answers”, it endear- eff ective propaganda for the backless ing that she ‘needs more treasure’. It’s ALBUM ingly and enjoyably channels millennial mediocrity. dress. Fiennes is magical too, creating a child’s game but she is learning how Yuck have always been a band unafraid to wear their early much of the fi lm’s humour through his to use her sexuality to ensnare other Yuck - Stranger Things 90s infl uences on their sleeve: the title track with a typically maniacal energy as he runs about the participants to her own ends.  e fi lm, grungy pre-chorus of “I hate myself”, has Teenage Fanclub villa completely naked, his penis jiggling I suppose, could have been a coming- released 26/02/16, Mamé written all over it and ‘Cannonball’ shares a title with a song about all over the place, spitting truths of-age story for her character if she had by  e Breeders. But to dismiss Stranger ings as mimetic at other characters. “We’re all obscene,” taken centre stage more often.  is surely to miss the point; of course it revels in harking he says to Paul in the glow of the pool- I still can’t work out if I like this fi lm. back to a time before its creators had even started school. lights at night-time, clutching a bottle of In conversation with the Guardian’s or a band only fi ve years into a promising career, Yuck Instead, the album’s beauty lies in its ability to be more than wine, starkers and accusatory. Andrew Pulver, the director Luca are unusually haunted by the ghosts of albums past. the sum of its infl uences, as it injects a much needed dose of Guadagnino expressed his desire to F  eir debut was released to widespread acclaim, plac- vitality into an otherwise stale genre. Yuck can’t claim to be “avoid drama” and to instead “lead the ing Yuck at the vanguard of an alt-rock revival. However, reinventing the indie-rock wheel but the album is dynamic storyline through behaviour”.  is at- the departure of frontman and foremost songwriter Daniel and pacy enough to keep the listener on their toes. titude is the source of both the fi lm’s Blumberg hit hard and, despite guitarist Max Bloom’s best  at said, Stranger ings does have limitations: Bloom’s greatest success and failure.  e focus attempts to fi ll the void, the band’s follow up Glow & Behold voice lacks the volatility of Blumberg’s and as a consequence TILDA SWINTON IS UTTERLY on behaviour is explored through lin- stuttered – it felt predictably derivative and stale for the the shouty ‘Only Silence’ slips back into the monotony that gering shots which concentrate on the majority of its shoegazey duration. dogged Glow & Behold. Moreover, several songs outstay CAPTIVATING way the characters throw down their So, to Yuck’s make-or-break third album Stranger ings. their welcome such as the aptly named ‘Swirling’, which can sunglasses, or on the moments where It was recorded live by the band themselves in an attempt sadly be dismissed as a poor My Bloody Valentine imita- a character converses with another to recapture the frazzled energy that made Yuck such a de- tion, leaving the album in danger of reaching a rather limp  e poolside is certainly a dangerous while looking directly into the camera, light, a gamble that has unequivocally paid off . Gone are the conclusion. Fortunately, closer ‘Yr Face’ is a triumph: a place to be in A Bigger Splash.  is rec- creating an intense sense of intimacy gratuitous production frills and back are the beautiful, hazy heady cocktail of 90s alt-rock elements as a soaring melody tangular nucleus of the fi lm’s action acts between audience and actors. Yet these melodies of their debut. Perversely, the rougher production and emotive lyrics build a wall of nervous energy which ul- as a kind of pagan altar for the desires of moments say very little, so that, while gives Stranger ings a poppy immediacy that makes the timately collapses in a blizzard of fuzzy guitars. the four characters as they provocatively interesting, they fail to give you a sense songs far more memorable. Certainly, Stranger ings is a welcome return to form. undress, bathe, and sunbathe around its of what the essence of the fi lm really is. At the album’s core is its overriding honesty. Bloom’s need Still, I fear that its signifi cance may well be in the renewed four sides.  ere is a brilliant moment In short, the fi lm is a refreshing delicacy to be accepted by fans of Yuck’s previous incarnation is evi- attention it brings to the band’s excellent debut. While rare- when Johnson’s character, alone with to nibble on that will nonetheless leave dent from lead single ‘Hold Me Closer’, as Bloom despair- ly hitting those stratospheric heights, the decision to return Paul, jumps into the pool after a few you hungry. ingly sings “I wanna be the only best friend that you have”. to the their initial success’ blueprint has been vindicated. euros she has thrown in, scoops them Millie Foy In this regard, ‘I’m OK’ is a highlight.  e power chords and Maybe this album will allow Yuck to fi nally step out of the trebly bass line are pure Weezer and with lines like “I’ve got shadow cast by their former selves. Alex Mistlin

Friday 4th March 2016 Sport 31 Why Leicester City is like Father Christmas how Leicester cope when the title is Zack Case almost in their hands. After all, ‘it ain’t Sport Correspondent over ‘till it’s over’. e hunting pack WIKICOMMONS won’t simply give up the chase. e run-in also contains more than Writing this feels like telling a child a few obstacles. On paper, Leicester that the tooth fairy doesn’t exist. She have a fairly easy schedule before a doesn’t, and we all get on with our fairly diffi cult run-in, which includes lives a couple of quid shorter than the Manchester United away, Everton time when we too were blissfully igno- at home before a fi nal-day trip to rant. Leicester City’s 5000/1 fantasy Chelsea. is making the Premier League even However, it is the next few games more exciting than anyone could have which will be most diffi cult, where possibly comprehended. But it’s just a Leicester have earned the right to be fantasy. ere are 10 games left which clear favourites and the onus will be will inevitably drag Leicester back on them to attack – a far diff erent ap- down to earth. proach to their usual game plan based It is an age-old proverb that the on low possession and ruthlessly hit- League table doesn’t lie. Leicester ting teams with pace on the break. have objectively been the best team Teams such as Watford, Newcastle this season and boast claims to have and Sunderland will all sit back and in- at least one of the best players this vite Leicester onto them. Even clever season in each position (Schmeichel, managers of bigger teams who favour Morgan, Fuchs, Kanté, Mahrez, attacking, possession-based football Vardy). In a refreshing contrast to We all love to believe in a dream. But soon, Leicester will be forced to wake up will adopt their tactics. the tiresome domination of Chelsea e lack of fi xture congestion for last campaign, the performances of Dreamers have become believers. Manchester City. Having said that, the but surely the same player released by Leicester may seem like an advantage, Leicester this season have been en- But there is another proverb, equally entire Leicester team has been hitting Villa will sooner or later stop drilling but in fact it constitutes a marked dis- thralling. ey exhibit fl are, pace, en- sagacious, that it’s only where you end a purple patch all season; far too large in crosses with pinpoint accuracy? advantage. Leicester looked rusty last ergy, commitment, fearlessness, tacti- up in the League table that matters. a sample size to argue that Leicester Historic title challenges also have weekend against Norwich, almost two cal astuteness; in short, everything a Leicester have not won the League yet. are merely ‘on good form’. ere is real a tendency to evaporate just as boil- weeks after they played Arsenal, and fan wants to see. With the charming Paul the Octopus says they will not. talent in that squad. ing point is about to be reached. We while a long break may soothe tired Claudio Ranieri in charge, Leicester Football clichés will tell us that while Yet there is also a remarkable lack of all remember that fateful spring after- legs, it does not foster a sense of mo- have captured the hearts and minds form is temporary, class is permanent. talent in several positions in the fi rst noon in 2014 when Liverpool’s assault mentum. Long breaks can hinder win- of many a football fan. Ever since they Perhaps a snobbish attitude to hold team. Danny Simpson couldn’t make on the Premier League did just that. If ning streaks. More time means more beat – or rather outplayed – title fa- towards Jamie Vardy and Co., but it is it at Newcastle (Newcastle!) and his Liverpool and England legend Steven refl ection and pressure. ere certain- vourites Manchester City a few weeks true that the Leicester team is almost rash sending off against Arsenal dem- Gerrard himself slipped up under ly are no easy games in the Premier ago, the scripts for the perfect under- entirely comprised of Championship onstrated inexperience. Likewise, one the pressure, then one wonders how League. And they don’t get any easier dog story were sent to print. Despite players performing far above expected questions whether pensioner Robert Danny Drinkwater will cope when it as the stakes are raised. an undeserved 2-2 draw against West quality. Top players have to develop Huth has the legs to carry the team really comes down to crunch time. Only time will tell whether Leicester Brom on Tuesday evening, Leicester’s from somewhere, yet there is a reason in the same vein in the latter stages of ere is still over a quarter of the really have title-winning creden- momentum, many pundits predict, why players such as Vardy and Mahrez the season. Where Marc Albrighton’s season left to play: plenty of time for tials. For now, let the entertainment is showing no signs of slowing down. are playing for Leicester City and not form has come from remains a mystery, plenty of slip-ups. Let’s wait and see continue! Cambridge 2016 Boat Race Squads announced THE BOAT RACES THE BOAT

CAMBRIDGE MEN’S: CAMBRIDGE WOMEN’S:

Cambridge’s Men’s Blues look to have both For the Women’s Boat Race, Cambridge also the experience and weight advantage as, on has the weight advantage, averaging 4.27kg average, each member of the crew is a year more than their Dark Blue rivals. e wom- and a half older and 1.48kg heavier than their en’s team boasts three returning Blues, all of respective Oxford counterparts. whom will be looking to avenge last year’s Cambridge’s Men have four returning loss on the tideway. e 2016 Cancer Re- Blues, whereas Oxford only have one from search UK Boat Races will take place on 27th last year’s victorious crew. March 2016.

Bow: Felix Newman – 83.2kg Bow: Ashton Brown – 81.0kg 2: Ali Abbasi – 88.4kg 2: Fiona Macklin – 64.0kg 3: Charles Fisher – 91.8kg 3: Alice Jackson – 77.2kg 4: Clemens Auersperg – 90.4kg 4: é a Zabell – 79.4kg 5: Luke Juckett – 82.0kg 5: Daphne Martschenko – 76.6kg 6: Henry Hoff stot – 92.6kg 6: Zara Goozee – 66.2kg 7: Ben Ruble – 83.4kg 7: Hannah Roberts – 73.6kg Stroke: Lance Tredell – 94.2kg Stroke: Myriam Goudet – 80.4kg Cox: Ian Middleton – 54.0kg Cox: Rosemary Ostfeld – 50.0kg

Total Weight Ex. Cox – 706.0kg Total Weight Ex. Cox – 598.4kg Average Weight Ex. Cox – 88.25kg Average Weight Ex. Cox – 74.80kg Total Weight Inc. Cox – 760.0kg Total Weight Inc. Cox – 648.4kg Average Weight Inc. Cox – 84.44 kg Average Weight Inc. Cox – 72.04kg 32 Sport Friday 4th March 2016 Bursting the Premier League bubble Zack Case outlines why talk of Leicester winning the league needs to stop. Page 31

Sport e Joy of Sport: pure escapism

Amid petty politics and the general malaise of life, sport can often be a surprising philosophical antidote

all, nihilism (and nihilists) are all well Fel x Schl chter and good in Kierkegaard, e Brothers Sport Ed tor Karamazov and e Big Lebowski, yet,

let’s face it, off er slightly extravagant, WIKICOMMONS never mind pretentious, solutions I think there is little doubt that the to overcoming the inevitable speed- world will never be quite devoid of bumps of daily existence. trouble and problems, from the most e answer is found in something minor to the universal. Nor am I just both purposeful and meaningless, in- talking about major political issues, clusive yet inconsequential. Judging nor that deep philosophical existen- from where this article appears in tialism which everybody feels and Varsity, and it has not just been placed then feels special for feeling. Petty ar- on the back page because I have noth- guments with friends, work deadlines, ing to say about the EU or the CUSU family troubles: without meaning to elections, the answer is probably quite indulge in the fatalism in which plenty obvious: the answer is sport. of people wallow in Cambridge, life To dispel the naysayers who cry isn’t just smooth sailing. foul of sport, who highlight its cor- Nor is it simply a question of ignor- ruption, its inequality, the endemic ing problems, of turning your back, of nature of cheating, its crass capital- thinking of something else. e nature ist commercialisation, its Eurocentric of personal problems is that they are globalisation, its ritual violence and troubling and they are personal; were hooliganism or its tendency to pro- one simply able to dissociate from the mote fi gures who represent the worst negative aspects of life, they couldn’t of the morally defunct, sexually devi- really be called signifi cant problems. ant, meaninglessly vulgar materialism Unfortunately, most things in life af- of the modern world, I should prob- fect people yet remain out of their con- ably clarify my defi nition of sport. I trol, whether it be political legislation am not talking of FIFA’s resurrection I thought it was all over – then I had some tea and a packet of crisps and everything was fine or family bereavements, social intoler- of Brezhnev’s policies, nor of athletics’ ance or personal slights. What makes resurrection of Nietzschean moral- opinion among the football fans of the over. hardly be classifi ed as a true sport. them so problematic is that they have ity. Sport, eff ectively, is solely physi- Ruhr, or Rio de Janeiro. Nevertheless, ere is little doubt that when any “ e rest,” he said, “are just games”. Yet consequences, material and personal, cal exercise in some sort of system- especially in moderation, it is essen- team which I support wins or loses, it’s precisely because they are games which are impossible to ignore. atic form. It exists like this both when tially true. If the government cuts, or, emotions are inextricably bound up – just games, in the vast scheme of Nevertheless, that’s not to say one being played and being watched. It is let’s say, abolishes student loans, hun- with the result. It could be despair, or things, but which remain so vitally could not, at least momentarily, allevi- this purer, more moderate, interaction dreds of students would be prevented anguish, or delight, and for the most important for that one moment of to- ate the pain, or fi nd another purpose with sport which can have so many from getting the university educa- important of matches it could last tal submersion – that modern sports with which to partially suppress those benefi cial consequences. tion they deserve. Certain vocational a few days. Yet that’s the very joy of can be such a powerful tool. For a few worries which life inevitably brings. Benefi t number one: it’s inconse- opportunities would disappear, and sport; it creates powerful emotions, minutes every week, all the little hic- And I’m not necessarily suggesting quential. What?! It is? Clearly I for- through no fault of their own, people without aff ecting our lives in any sig- cups of life can be swallowed and for- spiritual Buddhism (admirable yet of- get my own fl oods of tears following would no longer have the chance to nifi cant way. Once pulled out of my gotten about. ten unobtainable), nor intense hedon- Chelsea’s victory over Bayern Munich fulfi l their potential and shape their Drogba-induced nightmare in June And that’s not to mention the physi- ism (morally questionable) nor ritual in the 2012 Champions League. It future. ese are consequences, con- 2012, I could look around and realise cal, social, and mental benefi ts sport suicide (distinctly unadvisable). After would perhaps not be wise to air that sequences which one has no control that nothing in my life had changed can provide. at I will leave to sci- for the worse, despite the fact that I ence to prove – which it has. Yet sport had felt, for a weekend, like a charac- does not necessarily have to be good ter in Magnolia walking around with simply because it releases endorphins Gary Jules playing ‘Mad World’ in my and increases sociability – so does head on repeat. e friends I had were downing a bottle of wine and running still there, my family continues to live, up the Eiff el tower. Sometimes, it can my future prospects remain just as be just that silver lining in a grey week. bright or bleak as I had left them. Unless you support Aston Villa. en Sport, and attachment to sport, can again, be joyful that your unfortunate

MUNDO DE COCHES CARROS Y AUTOS often create its own bubble of emotion birth/family/young childhood selec- and meaning. Once you’re 85 minutes tion of Aston Villa as your football into a marathon, or a football match, team has no other obvious eff ects on or into watching a F1 race, or at the how your life will develop. crease, or into a fi fth tennis set, or the If one were to fuse the existentialist fi nal kilometres of Liège-Bastogne- nihilism of 3 a.m. smoking areas and Liège, little else matters but what combine it with my defence of sport, you’re currently so deeply invested my argument would be thus; sport is in. For those few moments you feel like life. Life, if one believes Nietzsche like the sport has become a matter of (not compulsory, I may add), exists life and death. Sport can give such an without a god. us, perhaps, there is intensity of feeling, yet when you’re no inherent meaning to it. Neither is done, life just continues as normal. there any inherent meaning in sport. Ernest Hemingway once said that It exists; but it doesn’t change the the only sports in the world were world, eradicate social inequality, or mountaineering, bull-fi ghting, and invent cures for cancer. Nevertheless, motor-racing. If death wasn’t peep- when you’re engaged in sport, as we ing round every bend, waiting to clasp all are in life, we create our meaning in its arms the sportsmen who had for it. And sometimes that’s what can Does the CUSU election race really provide excitement like this? just made a fatal wrong step, it could keep us going.