DRY (2003) A Memoir Augusten Burroughs Augusten Burroughs followed up his successful 2002 childhood memoir, Running with Scissors, with this adaptation of ten years’ worth of journals he kept while recovering from alcoholism. OVERVIEW “Pighead,” a lover he met on a telephone sex line, C Key Concepts whom he calls “the person at the heart of Dry.” Pig- Dry is a memoir by Augusten Burroughs based on the ’ journals he kept over a ten-year period chronicling his head s death from AIDS shocks Burroughs into an Alcoholism awareness of the need to reform himself. At the time in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. After an Rehab book’s end, Burroughs, sober and struggling to adolescence marked by “squalor, pedophiles, no remain so, is supported by the memory of Pighead, Addiction and recovery schools and free pills” and an early entry into the who serves as his conscience. LGBTQ business world as a boozing advertising copywriter, he is forced by his employers to check himself into Though published later, Dry was written before Sexuality “ ” “ ” Burroughs’snovelSellevision (2000) and his child- the Proud Institute, a gay rehab hospital in Min- HIV/AIDS nesota, specializing in the treatment of addiction and hood memoir Running with Scissors (2002). Dry was mental health needs for LGBTQ+ patients. Part I of a best seller, generally well received by critics, who ’ Dry ends with Burroughs’scompletionofthepro- noted Burroughs s negotiations of everyday struggles gram at the Proud Institute but well short of rehabil- with addiction, recovery, memory, loss, self-help, itation. Part II deals with his relapse into drug and and the contemporary rituals of self-narration. In his ’ alcohol addiction, his attempt to resume his advertis- preface to the tenth anniversary of Dry s publication, ing career, and his chaotic sex life. A major figure in Burroughs writes about composing the book and its “ Burroughs’s memoir is George Stathakis, called effect on audiences, noting that it was written largely in real time” and “as it happened.” Dry is the second of nine autobiographical works Burroughs published between 2002 and 2016. KEY FACTS HISTORICAL AND CULTURAL CONTEXT Dry fits into a long tradition of personal narratives Subject: about addiction and recovery—including works by Augusten Burroughs (1965–) Thomas De Quincey, William S. Burroughs, and Occupation: Nancy Lee Hall. While Dry ends with a brief chapter Writer called “One Year Later,” which describes Burroughs’s Nationality: struggle to remain sober, his memoir is also about American relapse. In the penultimate chapter, he finds himself Genre: suffering acute alcohol poisoning, hallucinating spi- Memoir (with some fictional elements) ders, covered in hives, and unable to move, and at theendofthebookheadmitsthatthoughhehas Time Period: been sober for a year he still feels like he has “hives Late 20th century in my brain that I can’t scratch.” Historical Context: Like earlier addiction narratives, Dry also exhibits The second decade of the AIDS pandemic the author’s compulsion to write, which Susan Zieger Noteworthy: (2007) indicates is characteristic of what she calls “drug Burroughs’s brother, John Elder Robison, is autobiographies.” This quality is evident in Bur- also a noted memoirist roughs’s description of his writing process. As he explains in the preface to the tenth anniversary edition, 207 COPYRIGHT 2019 Gale, a Cengage Company WCN 02-200-210 DRY discomfort or misery or excitement short- PRIMARY SOURCE circuiting inside my brain to form into actual sentences, detailed thoughts and emotions with definite form. Excerpt from Dry This was incredibly helpful. So helpful and I’m standing in front of a white marker board, upstairs, writing instructive to me that on that first day I began down “to the best of your ability” a complete history of my writing, I continued writing for the next six or drinking. […] seven hours. Age 7: Given NyQuil for cold. Grandfather is NyQuil And I kept on writing, day after day, month salesman so we have cases of it. Green is favorite after month. (xiv–xv) color so sometimes sneak sips. Age 12: First real drunk. One bottle of red wine. Threw Zieger maintains that in addiction narratives, the ’ up on friend’s sheepdog. drive to write emerges from the addict s need to con- struct works that “display their own vexed, self- Ages 13–17: Smoke pot once a week. Drink alcohol conscious relation to the concept of mapping inher- maybeonceaweek. ent both in the drug experience, which is thought to 18: Drink nightly, always to intoxication. Five drinks per chart a uniquely subjective trip, and in the notion of night, + or –. genre, which gives form to the writer’sotherwise ” 19–20: Drink maybe ten drinks per night, with inchoate, inimitable experience. occasional binges. Coke once every six months. Dry also deals with the tragedy wrought by AIDSinthe1990s.Overthecourseofthebook, 21 to present: A liter of Dewar’s a night, often chased Burroughs’s friend Pighead is repeatedly hospitalized, with cocktails. Cocaine once a month. as doctors cannot find a reason for his unstoppable I stand back and look. A jumble of blue words, my messy writing, hiccupping, and he gets progressively sicker. Bur- my magic marker confession up here for all to see. I’ve never roughs notes, “last time I saw him, he looked like actually quantified before. him. Now he looks like somebody who is very sick. ’ ” People look at the board, then back at me. His face is so thin. It s that look. The AIDS look. Within a month, Pighead was transformed “into a Tracy, the leader of the CDH [chemical dependency history] skeleton without bladder control.” Yet after his death, group, looks at me with eyes that seem to belong to someone Pighead’s ghost is a guiding force. He arranges for a three times her age. It’s something beyond wisdom, all the way to jeweler to deliver a memorial gold pig’s head to Bur- insanity and back. It’s like her eyes are scarred from all the things roughs inscribed: “I’M WATCHING YOU. NOW she’s seen. “When you look at what you’ve just written, what do STOP DRINKING.” Burroughs calls his friend “my you feel?” she asks. official rock. The thing that grounds me.” I look at the board. Now that it’s up here, it does seem like I drink a lot. “I guess I drink a lot.” I feel ashamed, like I wear the THEMES same pair of underwear for days at a time. […] Burroughs’scandidmemoirprovidesavoicefor I sit quietly and a strange and unfamiliar feeling comes to me. others who may not have the opportunity to relate It’s almost a feeling of relief, ears popping, pressure released. But their own difficulties with queer life, addiction, sobri- it’s something else, too. I think for the first time I can see, right up ety, and the processes of recovery. He describes his there on the board, that I do drink much more than normal. And shame and guilt, as well as the consequences his beha- the pills I have to swallow to drink. Like my body is allergic to viors have for others. Despite his subject matter, Bur- alcohol and is telling me I shouldn’t be drinking, but I do anyway. roughs is also wryly humorous. His friend Greer—an And when I sit there looking at what I’ve written, I almost can’t aficionado of self-help books—tells him “IwishI help but feel like it’s possibly a good thing I am here. were an alcoholic. I mean, you’re getting all this really good therapy and all these insights from those alco- SOURCE: Burroughs, Augusten. Dry: A Memoir. New York, Picador, holic meetings.” 2003, pp. 56–59. The style in which Dry is written, particularly its use of the present tense, is reflective of the rhetorical practices of twelve-step recovery programs. Each time AA members gather, they perform the ritual of self- I found quickly that the mechanics of writing, naming and acknowledgment of their continued of my fingertips jabbing at the letters, served to addiction; Robyn R. Warhol and Helena Michie somehow focus me by funneling my attention, (1996) described such practices as oral autobiograph- backspacing and typing my way into my ical acts, performances of self that are centered on thoughts. The soft and steady percussion of “I” statements. They emphasized the importance of hitting the keys was a metronome of sorts, personal narrative to the program: “Every sober alco- allowing the amorphous anxiety or confusion or holic in AA has a ‘story,’ a chronological narrative of 208 DISABILITY EXPERIENCES C VOL. 1 COPYRIGHT 2019 Gale, a Cengage Company WCN 02-200-210 DRY substance abuse, epiphany, and recovery.” Dry is in manywaysanextensionoftheseperformances,as Burroughs continually tells on his inner addict: “I try to imagine a nasty little man living inside my fore- head, kicking the backs of my eyeballs for telling. Then I imagine myself wearing the hospital slippers.” Burroughs refers to the “monastic process” of trans- forming a struggle into a routine and attending daily meetings. He tells another alcoholic: “you’re sup- posed to go to a meeting. I mean, as much as you hate them or if they feel stupid or you just don’t want to go. The thing is, if you go to a meeting, you won’t drink that day. It’s like a minibrainwash. It kind of fixes you for a while.” CRITICAL RESPONSE Contemporary reviews of Dry invariably compared it to Running with Scissors, which established Burroughs as an important memoirist. In his 2003 review, John Green asked, “How to follow your successful my-childhood- was-so-bad-it-was-funny memoir?,” responding, “Why, with a then-my-alcoholism-was-so-bad-it-was-funny memoir, of course.” Although he did note that in places Author Augusten “the narrative descends into cliché-ridden recovery jar- Burroughs in 2006.