TTThThhheeee RRReReeelllluuuuccccttttaaaannnntttt FFFaFaaammmmuuuulllluuuussss 88848444 The Reluctant Famulus # 84 November/December 2011 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gill Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 Phone: 502-484-3766 E-mail: [email protected]

Contents

Introduction, Editor 1 Old Kit Bag, Robert Sabella 6 Rat Stew, Gene Stewart 8 Ancient Dayton, Al Byrd 10 An Opinion, Editor 15 -ania, Matt Howard 16 Mine, Mine . . . Sheryl Birkhead 18 Three Old News Bits, Editor 19 Don't Eat . . . Tom Doubrley 20 Old News: Outlaw Sought Editor 22 Letters of Comment 23 Did He?, Editor 47

Artwork

A. B. Kynock Front cover, 7, 23 Don Blain Collection 16 Sheryl Birkhead 18, 19 Alfred Byrd 11, 12, 13 Helen Davis 14 Kurt Erichsen 6, 8 Brad Foster 9, 43 Alexis Gilliland 22, 27, 31, 35, 38 Hubble Space Telescope Back Cover Indiana Historical Society 7 Internet 1, 3, 4, 47, 49 Spore & Toe Toe Hodges 25, 29, 33, 37, 41, 45

The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Many of the comments expressed herein are sole- ly those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or pro- duced by the Editor/Publisher is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole property. Permission is granted to any persons who wish to reprint material presented herein, pro- vided proper and due credit is given both to the author/artist who produced the material and to the original publication in which it appeared. TRF maybe obtained for The Usual but especially in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, , and Editorial Whim. The Reluctant Famulus Introduction — Imagination

Reality, as we all know—even those writers who conceive of the most violent, among us who grudgingly admit its exis- vicious, bloody crimes which are perpetrated tence—can at times be cruel, harsh, brutal by seemingly non-human serial killers or writ- and always inescapable. Still, there can be ers in other forms of fiction who kill off their and often is beauty, wonder, and awe in the characters in the most painful, spectacular real world when we take the time to seek it and sometimes bizarre ways. I begin to think out. How could it be otherwise when we live we humans prefer the darker side of imagina- in a more or less balanced universe where tion to the good and the positive. The cruel even the smallest particle has its opposite or and barbaric side of imagination seems to be mirror image? much more fascinating even as we shudder And then there’s imagination. Because and recoil from those acts. the workings of the universe seem to involve There are lines from a song performed the concept of duality and balance it appear by a variety of singers—music by Jimmy that should apply to imagination also. Thus if Van Heusen, lyrics by Johnny Burke—which there is a good side to imagination there must go, “Imagination is funny . . .” , “Imagination also be a bad side (I could have said “Dark is crazy . . .”, and “Imagination is silly . . .”. side” but that seems too Star Wars-ish). Of Although it’s a love song, those words could course there is. Just ask any paranoiac. The apply to imagination in general. fact that people believe in such things as vam- pires, werewolves, evil ghosts/spirits, the Wendigo, secret cabals, conspiracies, incubi, succubi, devils and demons in legions and vast hordes, evil space aliens headed to Earth to take over our planet with the goals of enslaving us, using us for food or destroying humanity, and so on should be proof of that. If that isn’t paranoiac, I don’t know what is. Consider the ingenious methods Inquisi- tors used to extract confessions from the accused, the ways of determining who was a witch during the Salem Witch trials, the Imagination . . . Has it been around for- Nazis’ vile and brutal Master plan to insure ever? Nordic supremacy and to do away with as How long ago, I wonder, was it that our many members of a, to them, despised race. ancestors first developed imaginations? Was Vlad the Impaler and his imaginative ways of it as far back as sometime during the Pale- dealing with his enemies—or any ruler olithic perhaps? Did those precursors of throughout history for that matter, from the Homo Sapiens Sapiens gather around fires at ancient Greeks, Romans, Chinese, and so on night or huddle together in the safety of up to the present. caves and picture in their minds what kinds Then there are crime and horror fiction of wild, dangerous creatures prowled the 1 night? Did they even have the capability way once our ancestors had developed writing, back then of picturing in their minds huge, and later, movable type and printing some fantastic beasts of great ferocity or beings among them would have seized the opportuni- like themselves only larger, more powerful ty to create imagined worlds in a physical, and more vicious? Or did the ability or facul- more permanent manner by inscribing them ty for imagining things they’d never seen on tablets of clay or papyrus. before develop much later as they increased Surely by the time our proto-ancestors in numbers and began to roam more widely had evolved above the other simians with across the land? Did such an ability have its which they co-existed they must have in beginnings in a later period, such as the some small way achieved better awareness of Mesolithic? the world around them. If indeed our early ancestors possessed It seems certain that by the time our the gift of imagination was it restricted to the ancestors had established villages and cities things with which they were most familiar in in which to live and societies in which the the world around them? Did any of them, per- need for food, clothing, shelter, and safety haps, imagine what it would be like to be the were no longer all-consuming and demand- fastest runner, the best hunter, the strongest ing there would be time and opportunities man, the possessor of the most attractive when at least some of the people could turn mate or the leader of a great tribe? Did they their attention and energies to other matters look at mountains, great rivers, or lakes and and other endeavors and devote their time to try to picture what lay beyond? Did they thinking and, maybe, speculating on what imagine themselves crossing those barriers to might or could be. see what was really there? As civilizations progressed, we know Did any of our earliest ancestors forsake they pursued more than just the practical mat- the safety and security of their caves or huts ters of agriculture, slaughtering and process- to venture out at night to look at the sky and ing animals for food; construction of build- those twinkling pinpoints of light and wonder ings for housing, storage, businesses, bureau- what they were? And if they did, did they cratic purposes, conducting wars (a practice I also wonder if there might be a way to reach sometimes wonder if Homo-whatever will those distant lights to find out just what they ever outgrow), and so on. They conducted were? It shouldn’t be surprising if, even by trade and manufacturing (back when the pro- some wild improbable chance one or more of duction of goods as actually done mostly by our ancient ancestors may indeed have hand), developed codes of law and science. looked at the stars and wondered what they Those civilized people refined religions were and how to reach them. And we’re still from the probably simpler and more vague doing that, hundreds if not thousands of years superstitions of their ancestors. Over time, later. the world was introduced to the gods and god- We may never know the answer. But one desses of the Romans, Greeks, Norse, Assyri- thing seems certain: somewhere along the ans, Babylonians, Mesopotamians and so on, way such an ability as imagination did devel- what is now popularly called mythology. The op at least in some small, disorganized man- accounts of those gods and goddesses were ner and evolved greatly over the centuries— strange and compelling and yet they and their or millennia. Certainly once humans devel- deeds could be considered products of peo- oped language someone among them must ple’s imaginations. For who, after all, had have made up and told tales of things which actually seen those deities around whom the never were but might have been, even if only tales were woven? Such creations have con- to entertain or impress others. And of course tinued to flourish over the centuries and will

2 likely continue on into the distant future with title of that novel?), interstellar travel (Voy- deities unfamiliar to people in the present. age to Arcturus, by David Lindsay), and Other imaginings back then probably more; and editors such as Hugo Gernsback dealt with or restricted to what other kinds of (bless him) who helped foster such literature strange creatures or near-humans might exist (which word I use in spite of those who feel in remote parts of this world: dragons, gryf- otherwise about the genre) which influenced fons (griffins), hippogriffs, hydras, elves, generations of readers and in turn fed their dwarfs, satyrs, minotaurs, goblins, and so on. imaginations and their desires for things out- Strange, improbable or impossible beasts no side the normal and dream of that about one had actually ever seen but which many which those authors wrote. were certain existed. All that “crazy Buck Rogers stuff” led to Then along came good old generations of (mostly) men Lucian of Samosata, (from 125 who were so impressed with AD to sometime after 180 AD) what they read that they felt a with his intriguing and some- desire—if it was at all possi- times satirical works and who ble—to make what they read is considered by some as the about all come true, to reach first real novelist and by others out to the stars, to make reali- as the father of ty the phrase “ad astra per because of his writings which aspera”. Because of that will- dealt with other planets and power and desire some of races of beings (or extraterres- those wishes came true and trials). That may be so, for in men went into space and, time other writers produced eventually, to the Moon, and tales exploring those same established an honest-to-God themes. space station (almost) like The history of the written something in the stories. Un- and printed word, while not as long as that of fortunately, there were and are hard-headed human civilizations, is still an extensive one realists and scientists who in their quest for and undoubtedly during that long history knowledge (a good thing) kept and keep find- some of what was produced didn’t deal with ing obstacles (perhaps not intentionally one the real world and mundane matters. It hopes) to man’s conquering of space rather wouldn’t be at all surprising if, in that fabled than solutions; and, no thanks to stubborn, lost library of Alexandria there were works short-sighted politicians, the sort of presence of fantastic imagination—or fiction, if you in space read we read about and dreamed will. about which all those writers and theoretical But it wasn’t until the early 19th century physicists with their imaginations conjured and onward that the literature grew more com- up and presented to the world have not yet plicated and more diverse and imagination achieved. We are, so far, still strongly bound flourished and became wilder, stranger, and to this planet. further-reaching. That became the era of writ- A pity, that. All these aspirations being ers such as Jules Verne, H. G. Wells, Edgar balked by those who, seemingly, lack the Allen Poe, Edward Everett Hale, and others required imaginations to make it happen. The whose imaginations brought to the attention hard-headed realists with their feet planted of the public stories about satellites (The firmly on the ground who see no use or value Brick Moon), submarines (20,000 Leagues in crazy stuff which they feel will never turn Under the Sea), time travel (need I name the a profit. Still, at some unknown future time,

3 that which has been seen siles, the guillotine, the as impossible or of insuf- atomic and hydrogen ficient value or impor- bombs, and a multitude tance may yet come to of devices for inflicting be. Somehow, sometime. pain and/or causing Imagination . . . death. All these things What a wonderful thing. also were products of Not just for conceiving someone’s (warped) of space flights to other imagination. They also planets, FTL travel, were things we didn’t strange looking extrater- really need but now restrials, fantastic civiliza- exist because of the tions and all the usual dark side of imagina- trappings of science fiction (and I mean the tion and of the nature of humans who are all good stuff, and there is much good sf written) too quick to injure, maim, or, as a final solu- but also for dreaming up—or imagining—bet- tion, take the lives of other humans. We can ter machinery, better ways of doing things, be, as the saying goes, “a nasty piece of improving human standards of living, alterna- work” when we choose. tive energy supplies, and so on. It is possible There are those who often deride people for humans to imagine practical things which with too much imagination or imagination in can be used in this reality general and claim they’re out of touch with Consider all those things we have taken reality. Imagination is funny and yet some- for granted over the years and decades, in no times necessary but also not always very particular order of importance: printed books, apparent. Consider this: what, after all, were steam engines, telegraphy, telephones, radio, Einstein’s “thought experiments” but a form television, motion pictures, typewriters, add- of imagination, trying to picture in some way ing machines, calculators, computers, auto- the reality of space and time, or space/time? mobiles, airplanes, cell phones, ebooks, won- Many people look down upon the imaginings der medicines (I hesitate to call them drugs of science fiction writers as being far out and since that word has acquired an unfortunate unreasonable. Yet even these days even theo- negative connotation), and hundreds of other retical physicists come up with theories inventions. (Even if some may have been cre- which are as strange as or stranger than the ated and produced solely with imaginings of science fiction the intent to make money.) writers. Many if not all perhaps existed Consider the current theo- in someone’s imagination and ries expounded by physicists of were likely considered crazy multiple dimensions, black before they became reality. holes; superstrings, tiny and That attitude has always been curled up into themselves; singu- and always will be. larities, dark matter and energy, Then there is the other multiple universes, parallel uni- side of imagination and inven- verses, brane universes, the fu- tion: spears, swords, slings (the ture reaching backward to insure kind used to throw stones), its continued existence, some- bows and arrows, catapults, thing called the Higgs Boson or cannons, gunpowder, muskets, God particle, universes existing repeating rifles, guided mis- within black holes, and so many

4 other concepts fully as amazing as (or maybe event occurred in a county where my Sadler even more so than) what science fiction writ- ancestors lived. But I used that introduction ers have created. All those theories could be for another reason than the desire to share considered as having been sparked by some some of my family history, which I know is scientist’s imagination in trying to under- of little or no interest to probably all the read- stand the world around us. ers and can understand. So while imagination can frequently be But the subject of last issue’s introduc- impractical or wishful thinking, in many cas- tion was all too frequent from after the Eman- es the products of imagination end up being cipation Proclamation through Reconstruc- useful and practical and the things we depend tion and well into the 20th Century. Yet it on in a variety of ways. seems undeniably true that even if lynchings Yet, sometimes, reality is not quite are non-existent or nearly so these days the enough for some of us and we seek more or extremist attitudes and behavior behind those at least something different. We humans with acts continue to exist although perhaps in our so-called highly developed intelligence more subtle and insidious ways. As Matt and, unlike what we often call animals, look Howard’s Indiana-ania piece pointed out the for more than mere existence, of being born, targets of hate groups such as the KKK while living, eating, mating—and even warring. not forgetting their original targets of Blacks We want to know what, where, how, and shifted their attentions toward other so-called why. In short, to know and strive for what minority groups. That shift continues today others firmly claim cannot be and never will with, among others, attacks on gays resulting be. in their violent and disturbing deaths. Also, Even if Reality keeps us always Earth- back in in 2010, a census enumerator (White, bound we’ll still have imagination to let us I believe.) was killed in the same general way sail among the stars, dream about and imag- as victims of the KKK because he worked for ine worlds on which humans have never trod, the government, and of course government beings vastly unlike us, deeds no one else has employees (apparently, even if only temporar- ever done, things which may never be, and ily employed to help in the census) can’t be places we may never see. To me, that sort of trusted. Then, too, recently there was, after imagination is much better and more appeal- seventeen years, the conviction and execu- ing than the “Dark Side”. Unfortunately, that tion of one of the participants in the dragging aspect of imagination and reality is inescap- death of a black man. And in his letter to able and so we cannot avoid the evil and ugli- TRF (which see) Ned Brooks brings up a ness. We must inevitably accept it but we recent execution (of a black man) of a ques- can keep it in its place and always strive to tionable nature. be better than that. Imagination of an opti- We may be science fiction fans but we mistic sort, even funny, silly, and “that still live in a real world where such things as crazy Buck Rogers stuff” helps to make us hatred, racial prejudice and groups such as better and may somehow lead us to impres- the KKK, Neo-Nazis, et al exist. Whether we sive and positive results. like it or not we need to be reminded of that * * * * from time to time. I suspect in regard to the last issue some I find myself hoping that, should the readers wondered “why in hell did the dum- time ever come when we are capable of ven- my start with another introduction that had turing into space to explore other planets and nothing to do with science fiction or fan- as unlikely as it may now seem meeting other dom?” I admit the contents of the intro were intelligent beings, we will have cleansed our- of more interest to me personally because the selves of such brutal practices of our past.

5 Leigh Brackett, Jack Williamson, and Mur- The Old Kit Bag #24: ray Leinster, reprinting many classic sf nov- Ace Doubles els such as van Vogt’s The Weapon Shops Of Isher, Simak’s Ring Around the Sun, For long-time science fiction readers and Asimov’s The 1,000 Year Plan (the orig- such as myself, the Ace Science Fiction dou- inal title of the first ground of Foundation sto- bles were a familiar presence on bookstore ries). shelves during our childhood. Ironically, I In addition to the reprints, the series also never bought any of them for what, in retro- published the first novels of a new generation spect, seems a flimsy reason: I could not of science fiction writers. Often the newer decide how I would place those books on my writer was piggy-backed with an established bookshelf since the two novels were general- writer, using the bigger name as a draw to ly by two different authors, and the novels introduce readers to the newer writer, hoping were bound back-to-back, giving the book the reader would like the new writer enough two “front” covers. Donald Wollheim created to seek out later books by him (or her, the Ace doubles in 1952, primarily reprinting although the most notable female sf author novels which had not seen publication out- published in Ace Double format was Andre side of the pages of magazines. The first Norton, obviously a male pseudonym). New book in the format was two novels by A.E. writers first published in the Ace SF Double van Vogt, The World of ull-A and The format included: Universe Maker. The second book con- • Philip K Dick, who had 6 novels in tained Robert Howard’s Conan the Con- the first 8 years, beginning with Solar queror backed with Leigh Brackett’s The Lottery and The World Jones Made; Sword of Rhiannon. Next came a Wollheim • Andre Norton, who also published as reprint anthology The Ultimate Invader, Andrew North, and had 11 novels in the which featured the Eric Frank Russell title series, beginning with Daybreak 2250 novel, backed with Russell’s Sentinels From A.D. and The Stars Are Ours; Space. • Poul Anderson, 7 novels in the Thee first series, labelled the “D” series, series, beginning with o World of lasted 8 years and featured many reprints by Their Own and Planet of o Return; “Golden Age” writers such as Russell, van • Gordon R. Dickson, 3 novels in the Vogt, Lewis Padgett (a joint pseudoynym of series beginning with Alien From Arc- Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore), L. Sprague turus and Mankind on the Run; de Camp, Clifford D. Simak, Isaac Asimov, • Robert Silverberg, who also pub- 6 lished as Ivar Jorgenson, and had 8 nov- In 1988 Tor revived the format with Tor els in the series beginning with Master of Double Novels, publishing 36 books between Life and Death and Invaders From 1988 and 1991. Where the majority of origi- Earth; nal Ace Doubles had been full-length novels, • John Brunner, 10 novels in the series Tor published exclusively novellas, primarily beginning with Threshold of Eternity reprints by established authors, and many of and The 100th Millennium. them award-winners: The second series, the “F” series began • Arthur C. Clarke’s “A Meeting With in the 1961, and stretching to “M”, “G”, “H”, Medusa”; lasted until 1968. Authors included many of • Kim Stanley Robinson’s “Red the former (4 by Poul Anderson, 2 by Gor- Mars”; don R. Dickson, 5 by Robert Silverberg, • Robert Silverberg’s “Born With the another 14 by the incredibly-prolific John Dead,” “Nightwings” and “Sailing To Brunner, 2 by Andre Norton, 4 by Leigh Byzantium”; Brackett), but another new generation of sf • Brian W. Aldiss’ “The Saliva Tree”; authors saw publication in that decade: • Fritz Leiber’s “Ship of Shadows”; • 9 books by Jack Vance, who had 2 • James Tiptree, Jr’s “The Girl Who published in the “D” series, including Was Plugged In” and “Houston, Houston, Hugo-winners “The Dragon Masters” and Do You Read?”; “The Last Castle”; • Isaac Asimov’s “The Ugly Little • 5 books by Samuel R. Delany, includ- Boy”; ing his debut novel The Jewels of Aptor, • Roger Zelazny’s “He Who Shapes” and his Fall of the Tower trilogy; and “Home Is the Hangman”; • 2 books by Keith Laumer, including • Jack Vance’s “The Last Castle” his first Retief collection; (originally an Ace Double)’ • 12 books by A. Bertram Chandler, • Poul Anderson’s “The Longest Voy- mostly in his John Grimes series; age”; • 2 novels by Ursula K Le Guin. • Robert Heinlein’s “Universe”. The series continued in the 1970s after It is interesting how many of Woll- Wollheim quit as editor due to disagreements heim’s original authors in the Ace Double with the new owners of Ace Books. Many of novels became published again in the Tor the doubles in that decade were reprints from Double Novels twenty years later. Where the those originally published by Wollheim. Ace format was a good way to discover new Meanwhile, many of the authors who had writers who had not yet reached their prime started their career in Ace double format fol- in many instances, Tor’s program provided a lowed Wollheim to his new imprint DAW compact history of some of the finest novel- books, including Marion Zimmer Bradley, las science fiction ever produced. Andre Norton, Philip K. Dick, John Brunner, A. Bertram Chandler, Kenneth Bulmer, Gor- don R. Dickson, A. E. van Vogt, and Jack Vance. By 1973, 224 books were published in the back-to-back format before Ace pub- lished another 40 books between 1974 and 1978 in a more traditional format having one front cover and both novels published in the same vertical direction. 7 Event Horizon, marking one as geek, nerd, or First Contact/Readers even permanent four-eyed, pocket-protected virgin. Never mind that all the skiffy were kinksters, that did not confront the main- First Contact, remember that? Used to be stream contempt for science fiction. a trendy science fiction theme, back before Given such a historical parallel it is no space aliens became as common as fast food wonder science fiction’s first contact with and open corruption, people said to have mainstream literature proved disastrous for brains and, even better, actual intelligence science fiction. To the skiffy fen, which is spent time and effort figuring out the many what knowledgeable-in-science-fiction fans horrors, and sometimes the slender advan- of the stuff called themselves in their smeary tages, meeting an advanced civilization mimeographed fanzines, science fiction was would have on us. Think Inca, basically. a world o’wonder full of gold, colorful plu- What has happened to science fiction, mage, and exotic rulers, a vast civilization of which can be thought of as a backwater ghet- near-infinite potential to be explored in a to village that developed pretty much in kind of intoxicated haze of open-mouth enforced isolation from what it came to call, breathlessness. To the mainstream, science with contempt, the mainstream, is akin to fiction was a backwater ripple at best, a cess- what happened to the Inca when Cortez the pool at worst, full of recycled rot and recom- Killer swept in lusting for gold and sociopath- binant regurgitation. And mainstream litera- ic about human beans. The Conquistadors ture proved to have more and better weapons, brought disease along with superior weapons, more effective armor, and more resistance to armor, and mobility. They devastated the various infectious strains of meme and Inca, who would soon become a defunct cul- mnemonic. ture. For all its vaunted focus on the future, Science fiction’s original, pre-Cortez science fiction failed signally to see what equivalent Golden Age happened back when would inevitably happen once the wider it was considered one step sideways from world of writing began noticing science fic- mind-rotting pornography. That’s what made tional trope, topos, and tipsheet. Checklist it a ghetto, a lost village, one of H. Rider Hag- genre stories and cookie-cutter plots snipped gard’s mythic lost civilizations. Reading sci- like coupons from works devalued as lesser ence fiction used to be called a kind of men- by the snob elite and academia struck the tal masturbation sure to pollute your precious mainstream eye like an ice chip. Readers not bodily fluids and probably your drinking steeped in science fiction’s heady brew water. Writing it was beyond the Poindexter 8 winced, cried a little, and blinked themselves ence fiction before breakfast is yesterday’s free of Golden Age gleam. Puzzled by terms Beta-Max by lunch and a heap of discarded 8- like FTL or TANSTAAFL, Parsec or Light tracks by supper. Being science fiction types Year or Deep Time, the mainstream readers they tend not to mention bed time, preferring found science fiction at once opaque and coy, the kinks of water sprinklers, little fuzzy simultaneously precious and hostile. Give orgies, gaming room trysts, costuming exhibi- them a good soothing tea-cozy every time, it tionism, and celebrity head-cold auctions. seemed. We see, then, that science fiction has And yet, muttered a few. And yet, sci- experienced a literary equivalent of the first ence fiction is about ten percent worthwhile, contact it has so often written about in the both for its occasionally brilliant ideas and past. Alien cultures collided and the rest is extrapolations and, even more rarely, for its diaspora and star dust. ability to execute genuinely insightful stories We are the remnant glitter. We sparkle about people AND technology. Which meant in small ways, embedded in the grander that science fiction could not be tossed whole- scheme. This is not a tragedy. It is simply hog onto the midden heap of literary history. change, which the science fictional would No, it had to be excavated, sifted, and sorted call evolution. Adapt and survive. as discerning critics and trenchant readers After all, resistance is futile, as the sought the gems. Taoists stole from 3500 years This sifting and grudging acceptance of or more ago... a small but potent representative sample of But that’s a time travel story and fit for a science fiction’s bests gradually led to main- separate essay. stream and even academic writers wanting to dabble. They began playing with notions lift- ed from Golden Age manuscripts. Everything old was new again, to these mainstream writ- ers, and readers, who had never experienced undiluted science fiction. Crying foul, sobbing about exploitation, and resenting like hell every literary award that did not have a rocket ship or haunted house super-glued onto a lucite base, the sci- ence fictional mitigated against those pilfer- ers of ideas patented, copyrighted, and owned by science fiction alone. How dare Margaret Atwood, they howled, and continue to howl, even as they witness, every passing year, more and more of science fiction’s shiny gewgaws and sparkling tesseracts and helixes of semi-precious neologisms pop up in works obviously hobbled by the dire curse of being mainstream or, worse, literary. Science fiction has now, says William Gibson, echoing past masters and grand fools from Golden to New to old Age, become impossible to write, so rapid is the pace of change. What one writes as cutting-edge sci-

9 A VISIT TO ANCIENT DAYTON Alfred D. Byrd

For more than two thousand years, the tive American cultures other than the Adena Middle Ohio Valley sheltered a succession of built mounds, it was the Adena’s mounds advanced Native American cultures that built that prompted early American settlers to call works of monumental architecture showing those who had raised them the Mound broad knowledge of geometry and astrono- Builders. The settlers, unwilling to accept my. Sadly, many of those works are gone, that “ignorant savages” could have built the lost either to time or, more often, to the tech- mounds, attributed them to some lost white nological progress of the civilization current- civilization, but decades of sound archaeolog- ly occupying the valley. In southern and cen- ical work have established that ancestors of tral Ohio, however, that civilization has taken modern Native Americans did indeed build care to preserve some of the best examples of them. ancient architecture. In particular, around Around 200 BC, the Adena of central Dayton, one can visit in an easy day’s drive Ohio evolved into what archaeologists call three sites that show the whole progression of the Hopewell. (What the pre-Columbian advanced pre-Columbian cultures [1]. inhabitants of Ohio called themselves is lost Let me briefly review what’s known of to time.) The Hopewell began the construc- their history. Before 1,000 BC, Ohio was tion of massive hilltop enclosures and of low- home to what archaeologist call Archaic Indi- land earthworks in the form of circles, ans, nomads that lived in small bands that squares, and octagons built in units of thou- moved from small hamlets along lowland sands of feet. Key features of the enclosures streams to upland shelters. These bands sub- and of the earthworks align with sunrise or sisted mainly on game brought down by flint- sunset on solstices and equinoxes, or with tipped spears flung by atlatls, but supplement- northernmost and southernmost points of ed game with fish as well as fruit and nuts moonrise or moonset. The Hopewell architec- gathered by foraging. ture coincided with a flourishing trade net- Around 1,000 BC, what archaeologists work that brought valuable raw materials and call the developed, likely first finished goods to Hopewell lands from what around what's now Chillicothe. The Adena are now Quebec, Yellowstone, and the Gulf adopted two major technological innova- of Mexico. (The trade network had existed in tions, pottery and horticulture—in their case, Archaic and Adena times, but reached its small-scale gardening to produce squash as zenith during what archaeologists call the well as grain from sunflower seeds and a Hopewell Exchange.) number of plants now generally considered Around 500 AD, for reasons open to con- weeds. jecture, the Hopewell Exchange broke down. The Adena are famed, however, not for Its domain entered a dark age when once these technological innovations, but for their open woodland hamlets gave way to fortified building of sometimes massive funerary villages that waged war on one another. mounds. There were originally perhaps tens Amid the dark age, around 700 AD, the bow of thousands of these scattered over much of and arrow appeared, likely making its way the eastern United States, though only a tenth northward from Mexico. Along with the bow of them, if that many, survive. Although Na- came maize agriculture, which displaced the 10 old sunflower horticul- scape that falls away in ture. all directions. My Gradually, what friend Helen E. Davis, a archaeologists call the long-time Daytonian, Fort Ancient culture suggests that the Adena came to dominate the used the mound to region. This culture watch for tornados. I built transitory villages myself, standing at its consisting of a wooden summit, envisioned stockade that protected Adena shamans on a ring of thatch-roofed vision-quests there, or buildings of wattle-and- perhaps watching daub around a central plaza. There, a struc- hawks, messengers of the sun, for signs from ture that some call a “woodhenge” told the the Upper World. Of course, there is no logi- villagers times for planting and for festivals. cal reason why both Helen and I can’t be Archaeologists put the end of the Fort right. Ancient culture around 1500 AD. Its Interpretive signage at the mound’s base lifestyle, however, persisted in Ohio until its tells the visitor that, although the mound is Indian nations were displaced from there by still Ohio’s highest Adena mound [3], it origi- treaties and by wars. nally stood three feet higher. An archaeologi- Now, we’re ready for a journey through cal dig of the late 1800’s, coring the mound time. This journey starts at Miamisburg from summit to base, reduced its height. The Mound. I reached this from Lexington, Ken- excavation revealed a body wrapped in bark tucky. Taking Interstate 75 north to just south about fifteen feet below the summit. Below of Dayton, I got off at exit 44 and headed the body was an empty vault walled with west on Ohio 725. Assuming that construc- logs. Stratigraphy of the mound reveals that tion on this (I did say Ohio, didn’t I?) is fin- it is composed of several layers of rock and ished, you can avoid the detour that I was ash overlain with soil. The stratigraphy is con- forced to take, and can simply turn left onto sistent with the mound’s having been raised 6th Street and left again onto Mound Street. over a course of centuries. The eponymous mound [2] will appear on No further archaeological digs have been your left after a short drive. conducted on the mound. What the first dig From any vantage within Mound Park, revealed, however, agrees with the general Miamisburg Mound is imposing. Set atop a structure of Adena mounds. They formed massive, gently-sloping rise, it rears a further when the Adena built a funerary shed for a sixty-five feet above its surroundings. For the deceased “valuable man,” if I may import a benefit of visitors to the park, the Ohio term from the Hopi. Once the valuable man Archaeological Society has allowed the con- had been interred with grave goods (in Ade- struction on one slope of the mound of a na times, personal ornaments and hunting stone staircase to an observation platform at gear or a medicine bundle) within a crypt of the summit. From the ground, the staircase stone or of timber, the funerary shed was looks as steep as the stone staircases on burned down and covered with a mound of Mayan temples or as the sides of one of the ritually powerful substances such as white Great Pyramids. stone, sand, and soil from riverbanks. The My impression of steepness declined in mound often served as a base for further no way as I struggled to the summit. From funerary structures, generation after genera- there, I got a simply astonishing view of land tion, until a sometimes imposing heap stood

11 on the site of the origi- heeded the foregoing nal mound. advice. One must assume Your tour of Fort that, at Miamisburg Ancient starts when Mound, a truly power- you pay $6.00 to the ful line of hunters, civic receptionist at the desk leaders, or shamans was of the park’s combined interred. Archaeologists museum and gift shop. suspect that a mound (Both are good, but, I such as the one at must say, second best Miamisburg had one or to those at Sunwatch more major ritual func- Village, later in the tions apart from grave marker. I myself still tour.) The receptionist began to give Helen hold out for watching hawks soar against and me a canned speech about how Fort infinity. Ancient was never a fort, but was a pre- Once I had left Miamisburg Mound, I Columbian equivalent of a church. Once drove on to the house of Helen E. Davis, who Helen and I had detracked the receptionist would be my guide for the rest of the day. from her speech, she gave us some useful Helen drove me first on back roads to Fort nuggets of information. The earthworks on Ancient. These took me through wide corn- the bluffs above the Little Miami took the fields, wooded hillsides, and the dramatic Hopewell some four hundred years to build, gorge of the Little Miami River [4]. and the amount of soil, sand, and stone My experience with Ohio’s back roads moved by hand to construct the earthworks has taught me how quickly one unfamiliar would have filled a line of dump trucks that with them can get lost. Thus, unless you’re would stretch along I-71 from the park to the lucky enough to have Helen as guide, you’ll freeway’s terminus at Lake Erie in Cleve- have to take a more direct route than hers land— in round numbers, some 240 miles. from Miamisburg Mound to Fort Ancient. Still, it’s worthwhile to address points Returning to Exit 44, take I-75 southbound to raised in the canned speech. Fort Ancient got Exit 36. There, turn left onto Ohio 123 and its name from a series of Nineteenth-Century take this southwest until you have crossed archaeologists who assumed that the hilltop Interstate 71. Take the first left past this onto earthworks there were fortifications even Ohio 350. A drive of three miles east on this though their builders had left wide breaches will bring you to the entrance to Fort Ancient in them at sixty-seven places. Warren K. State Memorial. Moorehead, the first Your drive will professional excavator take you through the at the site, made a last- gorge. Be careful! If ing muddle of chronolo- you take the hairpin gy when he assigned curve in this too quick- construction of the ly, you may become his- earthworks to the build- tory. When Helen and I ers of a nearby prehis- drove through the toric village. Thus, we gorge, the railing along- must ever deal with the side the road showed confusing situation that dramatic evidence of Fort Ancient (which someone who had not was never a fort) gave

12 its name to the Fort they centered on vision- Ancient Culture, even quests of the Upper though the fort (not a World and on seeking fort) was built by the omens from solar birds. earlier Hopewell Cul- Hey, I could be wrong! ture. The Fort Ancients A tour of the park’s seldom if ever built museum is an excellent mounds of their own, follow-up to the driving but apparently contin- tour of the earthworks. ued to use mounds of The museum gives a the Hopewells, who fine chronology of Na- may have been their tive American cultures ancestors. in prehistoric Ohio and a well illustrated Now that your head is spinning, let’s overview of their lifestyle. As I’ve given this take a spin about the earthworks. Just left of chronology and this overview in earlier ishes the museum as you exit it starts a road that of TRF, I won’t repeat it here. runs north to south amid the site. Unless Let’s go on now to what may be the jew- you’re prepared for a day-long hike, you’ll el of the trip, Sunwatch Village. To reach this need the road, as the earthworks have a cir- from Fort Ancient, retrace your path along cumference of nearly 3.5 miles. The earth- Ohio 350 and Ohio 123 to Exit 36 on I-75. works connect a wide enclosure in the north Take this northbound to Exit 51 [5], where via a narrow neck to a wider enclosure in the you'll turn left onto Nicholas Road. After south. The northern enclosure holds the muse- about half a mile, turn left onto West River um; the southern enclosure, picnic grounds Road. Follow this along the banks of the and a ceremonial area used by modern Native Great Miami River to the entrance of Sun- Americans for powwows. Also along the watch Archaeological Park. Be warned! On southern enclosure are overlooks with dramat- the day when I visited the site, the air was ic views of the Little Miami Valley. fine, but, on some days, Helen tells me, The receptionist told Helen and me confi- you’ll get more than a whiff of sewage from dentially that the powwows are in the wrong a plant connected with the discovery of Sun- enclosure. According to archaeological evi- watch Village. dence, the Hopewell used the southern enclo- At the desk of the park’s museum and sure mainly for temporary housing during gift shop, $5.00 will buy you a movie, a walk massive ceremonials held in the northern through the museum, and a self-guided stroll enclosure. These ceremonials may have cen- through a working archaeological site in the tered on what is now process of being recon- the museum’s front structed. The movie lawn, where lines tells the story of how drawn from four small salvage archaeologists, stone mounds mark the called in to investigate a summer solstice. It has site destined for a been difficult archaeo- sewage-treatment plant, logically to establish found an amazing con- exactly what the ceremo- centration of postmolds nials were. I myself sus- [6] from a Fort Ancient pect that, just as at village. The archaeolo- Miamisburg Mound, gists successfully peti-

13 tioned to have their dig pre- than sunflower-based agricul- served as a national historical ture had let their ancestors sup- site, and Dayton built its pro- port, but at the cost of health posed plant elsewhere nearby. and longevity for most mem- Over the years, as each site bers of society. Corn’s high within the village has been sugar content and lack of vital excavated, a reconstruction of nutrients caused abscesses and the original building has been deficiency diseases and helped built over it. reduce the average Fort From the movie, one goes Ancient lifespan to as little as on through the museum. Like forty years. the museum at Fort Ancient, Beyond the plot lies the the museum at Sunwatch Vil- village itself. Here, one can lage explains the chronology gaze at a woodhenge re-erect- and the lifeways of pre- ed on its original site. Here, Columbian Ohioans. Sunwatch tells its story too, one can duck one’s head to enter recon- through detailed and vivid dioramas recon- structions of Fort Ancient dwellings and structing the life that went on in the village lodges. I say “duck one's head” because the outdoors. These gave the site an immediacy entrances to these buildings are low enough that words and pictures alone could not give that anyone above about four feet six inches it. My favorite diorama presented a bird in height would have to bow to enter them. I shaman in full regalia. As he reminded me of wonder whether the enforced bowing was to a character from my Hope- well time-travel honor persons inside the house or, perhaps, novel in progress, I thought of him Watchful to show worship to some form of household Eagle. The shaman would have provided gods. The buildings of wattle-and-daub them- guidance and healing to villagers through selves, with the equivalent of clerestory win- visions and, more practically, through knowl- dows at the peak of steep roofs, were surpris- edge of herbal medicine. ingly cool on the year's hottest day. From the museum, an exit leads one out- According to archaeologists, Sunwatch doors to a terrace giving one an overview of Village was inhabited for at most twenty-five the village. This was laid out in a series of years. Part of the village burned, but its aban- concentric circles around a central set of donment was likely due to depletion of soil upright logs (the “woodhenge”) that told vil- nutrients by maize agriculture. Too, the vil- lagers times for planting, for harvest, and for lage's dense population likely had stripped an ceremonials. Around the woodhenge was an wide area along the Great Miami of firewood open plaza; around this, a ring of burial plots; and of game. The lifeways of the Adena and around the ring, buildings consisting of a of the Hopewell, who gardened by small ham- steep thatched roof and of walls of wattle and lets in forest clearings, had been sustainable; daub [7]. the lifeways of the Fort Ancients was not. A ramp down from the terrace leads one Nonetheless, the Fort Ancients moved from through a plot demonstrating the Three Sis- village to village until they merged with his- ters method of agriculture [8]. This, devel- toric Native American nations of the Eastern oped by the Iroquois, is anachronistic for the Woodlands. Fort Ancients, who grew corn to the extent These, their numbers catastrophically that it provided them with fifty to seventy per reduced by plagues of (to them) unknown ori- cent of their calories [9]. Corn allowed the gin, would watch strangers come over the Fort Ancients to support larger populations hills to the east . . .

14 But their coming is a story to be told in Sisters agriculture is anachronistic for a Fort Bluegrass Beginnings. Ancient site, it lets the museum grow corn at the site year after year. The museum’s plot is [1] The three sites that I visited for this far too small to have fed the village, but repre- article are representative of dozens in and sents much larger plots that would have been around Metropolitan Dayton. Most of the oth- cultivated. er sites, however, are either poorly preserved or on private land. For a complete description of publicly accessible mound sites around Just an opinion, ye Editor Dayton, see Indian Mounds of the Middle Ohio Valley, Susan L. Woodward and Jerry I couldn’t help noticing there’s another N. McDonald. movie version out of The Thing. This time, [2] Just about anywhere in the eastern they’re calling it a “prequel”. My initial reac- United States where something is named tion was WTF! A prequel ? I could be wrong Mound, an Indian mound stands, or once but I imagine when he wrote the story John stood. W. Campbell had the notion that his story was [3] The highest Adena Mound is Grave the beginning and the people at the arctic Creek Mound in Moundsville, West Virginia, research base were the first ones to encounter along the banks of the Ohio River. the creature. Personally it seems to me the [4] Miami, applied to Ohio, has no the only one who should determine whether known connection with Florida's metropolis, or not there should be a prequel and to write it but refers to a Native American nation now would be the the author of the original story; largely relocated to Oklahoma. Confusingly, he/she might possibly have some idea as to however, Miami, Florida, is also named after the background. Of course Campbell is long a Native American nation, the Mayaimi. dead and so couldn’t be consulted or give per- Whether the two nations with the common mission to film a prequel. Even so, it makes English name Miami had been one in prehis- little sense for the producers to make the toric times is a matter for debate. claim they did. I can understand a plain old [5] It may have occurred to you from my remake, with the attendant arrogant attitude directions that you could save time by tour- that they were improving upon the original, ing Miamisburg Mound and Sunwatch Vil- or a sequel to the story. What little I’ve seen lage before you take in Fort Ancient, but, in the trailer leads me to conclude it's still hey, unless you’re , bouncing basically the same story with researchers of a around in time will lose you perspective. different nationality. But the bigshots in the Actually, I’ve never sensed that any of the motion picture industry don’t bother with Doctor’s regenerations had much perspec- those subtleties or contradictions or lapses in tive, but some of them were entertaining. I logic. It seems as if they think it’s easier to digress, as it’s not unknown for the Doctor to take a previously filmed movie, re-film it, do. and call it a prequel than to employ a writer [6] impressions left in soil from ancient to come up with an original idea for an origi- timber structures nal movie. Good grief! Shouldn’t the original [7] slender limbs interwoven through 1951 and 1982 movies be enough? Judging upright posts and covered with a mixture of from the announcements of remakes of other mud and grass movies such as Footloose and others, movie [8] growing corn (maize), beans, and producers would rather make the same movie squash together over and over with different actors. Now I [9] Helen points out that, though Three know why I no longer go to movie theaters.

15 Attempts at Utopia: New Harmony Leigh James Martin

The Story So Far: Back in 1814 George the line when he shoved out that some people Rapp brought his industrious Jesus Freak were in the latter Twentieth Century com- community (who were waiting for the return munes simply because they had no other of God) to a spot by (what was going to be) place else to go.[2] the Illinois/Indiana border just North of the So with the first crack out of the box and Ohio River. God still hadn’t blown in by with great publicity, Owen had a flatboatful 1925 so Rapp took his Rappites back to Penn- of teachers and educators steer up the Ohio sylvania where they could make River to New Harmony. It was more moolah while they waited christened “The Philanthropist” and the community’s village in and plugged as the “Boat Load Indiana was sold to the re- of Knowledge” but what did in nowned Philanthropist, Robert Owen’s dream was the crock Owen. Who renamed it, New load of crud; the ne’er-do- Harmony. wells, the nincompoops, and Now youse can Read On: the nabobs, that came by land. Some “Rappites” stayed on As for Robert Owen him- for a transition period while the self: He was a Welsh industrial- new blow-ins took over but ist and no bum on the flush. what those hardworking “Rap- He’d become very noticeable pites” made of the new tenants for his social and work reforms is unrecorded and that’s just in New Lanark, Scotland. So about as well. much so that folks were just The crops and fruits were left in the about bursting to beat the band about him but fields for the pigs to eat and when that run then he upped and put it out that he was a out the pigs ate each other. god-damned atheist. From then on folks were The googlemush started even as the new just about ready to run him out of town on a commune was at the git-go. Robert Owen rail. Not that there were many a rail back in issued a “come all ye” so some of those that 1825. came were “crackpots, free-loaders, and ad- His plans for New Harmony was to venturers whose presence in the town made spread “social reform (by) the reconstruction success unlikely.”[1] of society on the basis of autonomous cooper- Two of Owen’s sons in separate mem- ative communities comprising of one to two oirs were both Rodger Dodger that this was thousand members apiece, who should pro- the undoing of New Harmony. duce collectively the various goods and ser- There is an unrealistic mush about com- vices they require.” munes. In reality if they are to hit pay dirt Resulting in “the education of the masses they need hardworking folks with skills as unprovided for by the conventional schools well as co-operation. of the day.”[3] This holds firm for whichever era the Chock full of modesty, Owen sprouted commune is in. Of modern times the commu- his two-cents’ worth at New Harmony’s open- nard and E.T. actor Peter Coyote laid it on ing: “I am come to this country, to introduce 16 an entire new state of society; to change it each and every one of his reforms were later from the ignorant selfish system, to an enacted by the state when presented under enlightened, social system, which shall gradu- other titles by Holy Joes, full of loaves and ally unite all interests into one, and remove fishes, which is about all they ever did. all cause for contest between individuals.”[4] And while all that was going on the New Another worriment for New Harmony Harmonists were busy as beavers putting up was that just as Owen started the community new buildings of brick and mortar. Such as he also developed a “grass-hopper brain” and the likes of the Women’s Institute, the Work- a habit of not stand- ing Men’s Insti- ing hitched. Unable tute and Library, to keep his mind on the Ribeyre Gym- one subject or him- nasium and eventu- self in one place, ally even an Opera his New Harmony House. They’re experiment only still standing to persisted by virtue this very day and of donations from landsakes! If they his accumulated ain’t still in use to wealth. Tack on to this very day too. that there were And over and some sixteen com- above that there, munities in America and another ten in New Harmony can lay claim to several firsts Britain, associated either directly or indirect- in the U.S.A.: First kindergarten, first ly with Owen. And they were taking up infants’ school, first trade school, first free much of his time. public school system, first women’s club And consarn it all, with the social struc- with a written constitution, first free library, ture of New Harmony falling apart at the first civic dramatic club, and the first seat of seams, Owen still fully figured in that Mexi- the geological survey. Each of which were co would give him “the province of Coahuila taken up and grew all over this land.[4] and all of as a new proving ground of So what with the ne’er-do-wells, the nin- his ‘system’.” He also expected Mexico, the compoops, and the dang nabobs not with- United States and Great Britain to guarantee standing, New Harmony weren’t no no- the new state’s independence. As with count. George Rapp, Robert Owen had supreme con- ******* fidence in himself. Even if, by that time, Sources: nobody else did. [1] The Angel And The Serpent by William When Owen vamoosed off like a dirty E. Wilson Pub: Press shirt and dissolved the commune in March of 1964 1827, his second-in-command, William Ma- [2] Sleeping Where I Fall by Peter Coyote clure, became head honcho of a fledgling Pub: Counterpoint 1998 township with highfalutin ideas. So Maclure [3] Education and Reform at New Harmony hammered away at social reform by in- Edited by Arthur E. Bester Pub: Indiana His- creased education. This was so cussed good torical Society 1948 that he was able to present his reforms for the [4] New Harmony, An Adventure in Happi- whole of Indiana to take up. The legislature ness Edited by Thomas Clinton Peers, Jr., voted them down for no other reason than Pub: Indiana Historical Society 1933 Maclure was another god-damned atheist but

17 Mine, mine, all mine

It was another dark and Sheryl Birkhead er and (rain and all) walked it rainy night. Last night up to the back corner of the Kamere became a—um—er man: he caught a yard. This time I went to the upper corner at mouse! I got home from a dinner outing and the end of the grapevines, parted some damp couldn't find him. I even checked to see if he leaves, pointed the mouse away from the had somehow snuck into the garage behind house, and ignominiously dumped it into the me from the kitchen. No. I decided I had night. We (again) shall see. The last time I looked everywhere and would just have to did that I actually saw the mouse make a u- wait until morning to hunt for him. It was turn back to the house. The second mouse after 11:00 pm. I glanced into the dark living went for a car ride. But this time I was too room (this house is very dark at the best of tired to do that. Ah, excitement! times) and turned on a light and found him lying on the floor with what appeared to be a small wadded up piece of paper. Nope. A young mouse, still breathing. This also an- swers $ed’s (Brooks) comment about when there is one mouse in the house there is usual- Today, barely a month later, FiOS (Fiber ly . . . But it had been a long time between Optic System) has entered my life. Maybe I’ll mice. get around to commenting on how it arrived I got some gloves and a plastic tupper- (if you don’t believe me about all the hiccups ware type container but when I got back the along the way, ask Tom. I gave him step by mouse had staggered to the box where I keep step updates of the mishaps), but not yet; the papers for the fireplace. I tried to catch him. wounds are still too fresh. So I panicked and He was woozy, but in the dim light still faster ordered a snowblower (Right. Smart. You or- than I was. Kam was hovering around his dered it early Saturday morning, at 2 a.m. to prize. He did a little lightweight boxer dance. be precise, on Amazon.com, and the snow My mouse! My mouse! started 4 hours later. In which universe is that The mouse made a straight (well almost) a reasonable purchase for this snowstorm?). line up to the wall then ran along the base- And in the meantime didn’t have the money board into a corner. It was still dim, but I to pay for the annual supply of wood to heat could see and I did not see a mouse. I got a the house (can we say priorities?). While I flashlight. For Pete’s sake, it is a corner. No was warming up the house so the Verizon mouse. I checked the chair nearby (all wood) guy could work on the FiOS installation, and under the rug. No mouse. So I compli- using the dregs of fuel oil in the tank, I mented the cat on his prowess as a mighty noticed Kamere had—no, wait a minute— hunter. Then I noticed he was staring at the was it the same mouse? Perhaps, but this fireplace. There, stuck like glue to the bricks, time it had gone on to mousey heaven. De- was the mouse, who apparently had zoomed spite my profuse compliments on his prow- around the corner and straight up the bricks ess, Kam was not convinced that I was up to where he was holding on (literally) for dear any good. He gave in to a chin rub and I life! I maneuvered the mouse into the contain- grabbed his prize. Re-cycled it to the deni- 18 zens of the backyard. the basement, ever vigilant. A few hours later I left the office and I’ll let you know if he makes more con- found him again with another prize, this one quests, but for now I think this was a weather still warm. I tried bringing it back from the fluke. There have not been any—um—tangi- brink, but it, too, was a goner. A quick tally ble evidence that mice were in residence oth- put this at 3 mice within a week or so and er than the sudden appearance of the mice none for the preceding few years. Okay, for themselves. I remember the horsehair and now I was willing to blame it on the sudden plaster walls of the farmhouse. In the winter weather change. you would be curled up in the cold dark and That night I was awakened at 3 a.m to heart the mice scrambling around inside the the sound of galloping down the carpeted walls. Nope, none of that. We shall see—or hall. I knew it was Kam but had never heard at least Kam will. him make such thuds. I turned the light on in the bathroom and in he came, shepherding another mouse—quite alive. While he proud- ly chaperoned his captive around the room, I went and got the same tupperware container eschewing gloves this time (now that I had the technique learned). By the time I left the kitchen he had maneuvered the mouse down the hallway and into the living room. There, Three More Old News Bits beneath an end table, he crouched, front end down resembling either a cutting horse, or a Saturday, JANUARY 16, 1886 border collie, steadfastly refusing to let the CLEBURNE County News Hardy Jones, mouse get behind the couch, feinting first in a lad of sixteen or eighteen years of age, who one direction and then another. Faster than lives near Cicero post office in Cleburne you can say “Bob’s your uncle” mouse was county, accompanied by several other boys inside the container and cat was dismayed. on Christmas night, went to a party. They got He bobbed and weaved. My mousey! My a jug of whiskey and drank themselves mousey! I just got the car keys and headed drunk. Several of them were picked up in an out. This time I was going to take mouse #4 insensible condition and carried home. Hardy for a ride. Question was, do I take him up to Jones never awakened from the stupor pro- the Baptist Church or over to the Episco- duced by the whiskey and on Saturday last, palian Church? Either way I had him des- he died. It is not positively known whether or tined to become a church mouse. The Episco- not his death was caused by the whiskey. palians won and I released the mouse into the bushes at the front of the church. Saturday, JANUARY 23, 1886 For the next week Kam tore up and Mrs. Cook of Cleburne who was report- down the basement stairs (ahem) religiously ed as dead, is improving and likely to get searching for another mouse. About all I will well. say this time is, so far, no more presents. This proves there is a mighty hunter in Saturday March 13, 1886 residence. It also proves that this was either a There is a man in this county whose wife stupid mouse, or possibly yet another critter died one Tuesday and he got his papers and trying to get in before winter hits once and got married again the next tuesday. [Gee ... for all. Time will tell. In the meantime Kam he really missed his first wife. Ed.] has taken to patrolling both the upstairs and

19 When the following appeared in my email inbox at first I thought it was simply a loc. But upon thinking about it, decided it was more appropriate as an article presenting a different view. Editor DDDODOOONNNN’’’’TTTT EEEAEAAATTTT TTTHTHHHEEEE RRRARAAATTTT SSSTSTTTEEEEWW Tom Doubrley

I don’t always read RAT STEW. Maybe aliens directed the disenfranchisement of I should. But then again, given my reaction native Americans in order to gain control of to the item in issue #82, maybe I shouldn’t. Texas oil. You can connect the Religious Gene, I disagree with nearly everything you Right to the KKK, the Whig Party, and slave- said. owning Englanders? Why stop there? You Your “exposure” of the “American Tal- could extend this bend sinister backward to iban” implies a continuity that doesn’t exist. the slave-trading Roman Empire, or even the Anyone who has been systematically under- Cro-Magnon dominance of Neanderthals. mining American freedoms in the name of You could uncover a connection to the sink- religion for 75 years would be well advanced ing of Atlantis, and the opening of Pandora’s in age. I know a few centenarians, and their Box. Or, you could take two aspirin, and call priorities seem to be reminiscing, napping, me in the morning … and lunch (not necessarily in that order). If “why are these divisive, seditious, and you mean that each succeeding generation of traitorous terrorist scum types, these mar- religious fanatics inherits and builds on the tinets and bullies, these braggarts and blow- work of the previous crop, you award them a hards tolerated as if they are any kind of cohesiveness they don’t have. Each genera- legitimate party? I refer to both the Tea bag- tion spawns its own brand and flavor of fanat- gers and the GOP now, frankly.” ics. The new group usually change tact and Gene, did you have your thesaurus in direction, often erasing any previous achieve- your lap? Showing off your vocabulary of ments, and re-plowing the same ground. I insults hurled from the safety of your home is have been around long enough to observe sev- divisive, seditious, superfluous, insidious, eral incarnations of the lunatic fringe: Ego- despicable and dastardly. None of your pejo- centric individuals with a smattering of fol- rative actually applies unless supported by a lowers each, surging forward with self-righ- logical argument and facts. All I found in teous ideals, with all the effective progress of your article were accusations supported by a drunken turkey waffling across a frozen additional accusations, as if repetition creates lake. They can’t work together because each fact. Labeling is stereotyping; the lowest perceives himself as the center of the uni- form of bigotry. What group/party/associ- verse. The radical right spend most of their ation do you represent? A word of advice, time fighting each other for the limelight, or Gene: If you are denouncing fanatics, you combating the lunatic left, and leave the rest should avoid hysterical insults and paranoid of us a modicum of sanity in mainstream conspiracy theories. Otherwise you come off America. as, well, a fanatic. One flavor of fanatic call- Putting an equal sign between words that ing for a witch hunt against another flavor of you wish to associate does not establish an fanatic; “the pot calling the kettle black” actual link or relationship, and does not con- (17th century maxim, Brewer’s Dictionary of stitute reasoning or argument. Extra-terrestri- Phrase and Fable). als = settlers = oil wells, does not prove that “traitorous terrorist scum”? For the re- 20 cord, this is the comment that brought me to “one of us”? Is that personal wealth, or fami- the keyboard. My son is a republican. He left ly wealth? If you maintain the same behavior a good job to enlist in the army. He served and lifestyle, but an inheritance moves you with the 101st in Iraq. He is home now, a dis- from 1.1% to 1%, do you automatically abled veteran. I won’t abide a civilian become blood sucking scum? If you suffer a besmirching his political beliefs or his patrio- financial reversal in market share and drop tism. out of the top 1%, do you automatically lose “What war?” “Seen any flag-draped your blood sucking scum status and recover coffins?” Yes, Gene, I have. I have talked to your humanity? If a 1.1 marries a 1.1 and and written to parents of fallen soldiers. I their combined wealth is TPR, are they one wrote the eulogy for one. blood-sucking scum, or two? Or do they take “Corporations are people, haven’t you turns? Gene, are you eating the stew? The heard?” Actually, no. That is not correct. illustration over your columns shows that the Corporations are, by law, considered a sepa- stew is concocted from a text named “evil rate legal entity. All entities are not people. recipes”. From the context and tone of your All entities are not human, even entities com- column, I wouldn’t recommend even breath- posed of humans. Lynch mobs, riots, street ing the vapors over your rat stew. I suspect gangs, drug rings, are all composed of peo- that TPR is like the Yeats quote; you think ple, but the composite entity is not a person; that it is your own idea, but it isn’t. You got not human. By comparison: People are enti- the TPR concept from someone or some- tled under the Bill of Rights. Corporations where else, and accepted it without question, are not. They have no claim of right to priva- and have carried it for so long that you think cy, freedom of religion, the right to bear you originated it. You should have ques- arms, etc. A little more attention in political tioned it; it makes no sense. science class might have avoided this misrep- “What can we do other than GAFIATE resentation. like M*****F****** (expletive deleted)?” BTW. That comment of yours about Wow, there’s a nice word; it insults mother- “…the center cannot hold (emphasis added), hood and copulation at the same time, and and all bets are off.” That is actually a para- contributes absolutely nothing to the state- phrased quote from William Butler Yeats. ment. Yes you could GAFIATE, to some You didn’t reference the source. I won’t locale where there are no rich, corporations, accuse you of plagiarism. A more charitable republicans, soldiers, and religions. I am and perhaps more accurate assumption would thinking the dark side of the moon, maybe, or be that you have heard the phrase so often perhaps the middle of death valley. and in so many contexts that you thought it You said in your column that we should to be in the public domain. But you used it as hold technology and material things at arms your own, which brings up a point: be careful length, and embrace people, not things. How- not to think that all of the ideas and thoughts ever, I can presume that you wrote these in your head are your own. Listen to the echo words on a PC or word processor. I doubt of your own voice, and you will hear your you penned them longhand with a quill pen parents, teachers, siblings, and friends, e- on parchment. So the divorce from materiali- spousing their ideas and opinions through ty rings hollow. And from the abuse dealt in your memory. your column, I see a very limited sliver of “TPR= Top Percent Rich”: How did you humanity that you appear willing to embrace. arrive at this range? So if you are in the top “Physician, heal thyself “(Luke 4:23 KJV) 1%, you are humanoid-shaped blood sucking Freedom of speech as an active privi- scum, but in the 1.1% category, you are still lege, it ranks with the privilege of commit-

21 ting murder; we may exercise it if we are will- For Your Amusement (I hope.) ing to take the consequences. “The Privilege of the Grave,” published Newspaper Issue of Saturday, December 1, in Who is Mark Twain? 1883 This ranting for class warfare, workers Calhoun County Local News versus the corporations and the wealthy, reads like the Communist Manifesto. Except WILEY REDDING; Notorious Georgia Out- Karl Marx included philosophical and social law Thought to be in the Neighborhood of arguments in his version, instead of slander Anniston, Ala. and defamation. In fact, the entire stew seems to be nothing more that copied concepts, bor- The name of Wiley Redding is familiar rowed rhetoric, parroted generic gibberish: to nearly all our readers and the mention of it recycled ravings from mimeographed mad- reminds one of the capers and antics that ness; the sort of baseless condemnation of all have been occasionally cut in our sister state things “other” that plays well to partisan audi- of Georgia, by the party who answers this ences already predisposed to hold the same cognomen. Wiley Redding is and has been opinions. “Preaching to the choir” tends to wanted by the police in nearly every town drown discretion in positive feedback, and within a radius of two hundred miles of delude the speaker into believing that prejudi- , for he is a known rascal and the cial drivel will be well-received with any crimes laid at his door are innumerable. audience. Encountering a thinking audience For several years he has successfully is always a surprise. evaded the sheriff's posse, city police, baliffs and constables, and doubtless moves about TomD this law abiding country almost as free as the wind. Large rewards are awaiting his appre- hension and the man who is lucky enough to arrest and hold him will secure a big stake and be looked upon as a hero. The cause which lead to the supposition that Wiley Redding is in this neighborhood is the fact that one or more letters have been advertised from the Anniston post office and undoubtedly were meant and intended for the hands of the notorious outlaw. Redding is described as being a very large and powerful- ly built man, of ginger cake color, intelligent and does not know the word fear. His brav- ery is spoken of by officers who have attempt- ed his arrest. Our officers are on the alert and if the said Wiley pays Anniston a visit, and is detected, he will doubtless get a feeling and warm reception from chief Hunter.

Editor: It sounds as if Redding was quite a miscreant and adept at avoiding arrest. I wonder if he was ever caught. Lots of hits on Google. $o sort of follow-up. 22 LLLeeetttttteeerrrsss RRReeeccceeeiiivvveeeddd 30 N. 19th Street they’re cruel and hate-filled men. A chinese Lafayette, Indiana 47904 September 23, origin?! That's a new one. Any KKK mem- 2011 bers in Indiana probably keep a very low pro- file and have assumed a different identity.// Thomas: There may have been saddle-makers in Cal- houn County but it seems doubtful a moun- The Bem on the cover of 83 could be tain would have been named after one. $o. said to be experiencing the ladder days. It The two ds isn’t a typo. The spelling variance reminds me of a joke—how may Bems does is due more to an earlier inconsistency in it take to paint a house? Answer: twenty to spelling a long time ago and people often thirty thousand. spelled names This one has they way they tried it alone. sounded to Much ado them. and to a about the Ku certain extent Klux Klan; I’d the high rate of say of them that illiteracy back when you take then. Other sur- their sheets off names have that they’re just same problem. men. Well, not For example, just in the legal sense. They’re said to have a $eely/$eeley; Bostdorf/Bostdorff and many Chinese origin; if so, I’d advise them to look others.]] out for prejudice if they have not already done so. Cuyler Warnell Brooks Jr We have a few of them in Indiana but I 4817 Dean Lane don’t know what they're up to. Lilburn Georgia 30047 Sadler's mountain? Well, it could have a September 24, 2011 saddle-making and purveying concern locat- ed in its vicinity in its past. Otherwise all Dear Tom, Sadlers in that area are being shorted of due fame. And there’s the matter of the two ds in Thanks for the Reluctant Famulus 83. the word, but then there may be a typo or a The lynchings go on—but at much reduced lack of perfect literacy involved in that one. frequency and with much more tedious legal- Regards, istic justification. It took 22 years to finally John Thiel kill Troy Davis, who was convicted on evi- dence barely adequate to sustain an indict- [[Why would it take so many BEMs to do ment—and then the trial transcript conve- that? Are they presumed to be that inept? niently lost. But a white cop was dead, so Surely they’d be intelligent enough to require there had to be bloody revenge, and Davis far fewer.//The ado (and really not that was the convenient suspect of the right much) about the KKK is that it still exists skin shade. Texas of course leads the lynch- even if with a lower profile. Of course under mob mind-set, with Tea-Partiers cheering the those sheets or facades they're just men—but 23 governor on as he runs for president. but that is not enough to cause inebria- I was at some of the that tion. Sabella mentions, and saw Rick Norwood Indiana was lucky that D. C. Stephenson fall through the movie screen that had been was exposed and dethroned. H. L. Mencken set up, I think, to show a pre-release print of (I think it was) said that when fascism came A Boy and His Dog, a movie based on a Har- to America it would come carrying a cross lan Ellison story. I was one of the fans who and wrapped in the flag. donated to Harlan’s request. But the screen Curious about Sheryl’s snake. Would had torn on a seam, and the cost of repair a harmless black-snake rear up and strike was trivial; the cost to me was also trivial. I at all? Fanged snakes strike to get the poi- think a lot of fans gave an amount that they would hardly miss, and it didn’t bother me son fang into the prey, and in Kipling any- much that the money went to Clarion. way the nonvenomous python uses its I was too old for APA-45, but I remem- head as a battering ram. The only snake I ber the name Ken Budka. I have been compil- ever found in this house was about 6 inch- ing a list of everyone who was ever in SFPA es long and bright green—I wasn’t much (the Southern Fandom Press Alliance) and worried whether it was venomous. I Budka is on that list. This month is SFPA’s swept it onto a dustpan and put it back out- 50th anniversary. side. I have seen larger snakes while mow- I never met Tanith Lee, though I have ing, but they were getting away as quickly almost all of her books. I had not connected as possible. The man next door says his her 1980 “Sabella” title with Bob Sabella.... large dog was bitten by a snake (I’m not A funny story, though I find hard to imag- it sure how he knew) but survived, and that ine her looking “stern” from the photos I have seen. Sabella is a vampire novel set on he had seen two large snakes in my yard. Mars with futuristic technology. I got the I have mowed the lawn once since but impression that Wollheim, who published it saw nothing. There could be a copperhead as a DAW paperback, always wanted enough here, or a rattle-snake. such hand-waving in her books that he could The typewriter bells that I have seen are call them “science-fiction” rather than horror indeed all cup-shaped, some small ones with or fantasy. But to me her best work seems a straight side and a flat bottom, and the large pure fantasy: in the five “Flat Earth” books old ones more fully rounded. The striker is the world is a disk and has an edge! designed to strike and retreat so as to give a Where would she have gotten the name resonant dinnnggg. One of the largest is on “Sabella”? Probably from the Spanish the Oliver, just about a half-sphere I 1/2-inch “Isabella”. in diameter.LoC on TRF 83 I saw the story about the drunken moose on the Net. Many animals get more alco- Best, hol than they can handle from eating fer- menting fruit off the ground. It’s not clear [[Indeed the lynchings do still go on. Thank- fully, as you note, with a much reduced fre- to me whether that’s what the moose was quency. And the matter of Troy Davis’ execu- doing, or whether the moose digestive sys- tion does seem questionable. The law tries to tem could produce too much alcohol from do its duty but sometimes those who enforce apples eaten off the tree. I have read that it are fixated on one particular suspect to the the human digestive system can produce exclusion of any others and of conflicting or as much as an ounce of ethanol in a day— questionable evidence. “We got our man (or woman), and that's that.” Yes. And yet the 24 leading Texan running for the presidency the cupshaped bells they had. Long, long ago brags about what a wonderful state it is and I worked for an office supply store named, him much better it is run that the other 49 appropriately, “Typewriter Sales & Service” and America. Yeah. Riiight. And I have (and (Though the store sold office furniture as have had) relatives who live in this state; a well). One time I was given the task of taking cousin and his family, for some old typewriters to the one.//I remember reading local landfill for disposal. I about that movie screen inci- wish now I had kept some of dent and wish I had been the better ones. But then I nev- there. You seem to have been er considered collecting type- more tolerant about the extra writers except for ones I money issue than many oth- intended to use. As long as I ers were. I wouldn't have had kept my mouth shut the been much bothered if money owner wouldn’t have known. I had contributed in that It’s far too late now, and I instance ended up going to know that would probably Clarion, an organization have been considered steal- which has helped produce ing even if they were being writers who have provided SF fans with more discarded.]] SF to read.//I’m not familiar with Tanith Lee’s work as you are and have only one of From: Gene Stewart her books, The Silver Metal Lover and I’ve never read it even though having meant to do Nice cover. Spacing on those rungs leads so. Your theory about the name Sabella is me to believe that ET has a lawsuit against possible but I believe it more likely is Italian the ladder maker. in origin. But then Spanish and Italian are members of what’s known as the Romance Events We’d Much Rather Forget - by Languages—but not involving that genre of Thomas Sadler, Esquire fiction—but from Latin.//I think it was very Excellent stuff here, uncompromising likely the moose had been eating at least and contexted well. The NY Times headline some fermenting fruit off the ground and then was not ironic. Had it been from 1970, then went looking for something fresher.//If Menc- maybe. Not in 1870, which was the year ken did say that, he was very prescient and Dickens died. accurate.//I don’t think something like a It’s interesting that the February 9, 1884 black-snake would strike but it might rise up lynching in Calhoun County, AL mentions to frighten off any possible threat. I don’t the mob of 50 or so letting the other potential think Sheryl was particularly worried about swinger go. One wonders if it was kindness, the snake being venomous but, like you, want- (unlikely), a sense of fairness, (unlikely), or a ed to get it outside and used whatever she desire to spread the fear by leaving him alone had close ad hand. I might have done the the tale to tell. same thing. Possibly, out in the open with What is alarming about your timely arti- plenty of room, a snake would try to get away cle is the parallels and echoes we see today, as quickly as possible to elude the threat both elsewhere and stateside, aimed at an rather than trying to intimidate it. $ow, cop- even wider swath of people. perheads and rattlesnakes ....//Having once owned a fairly old typewriter and two or The Old Kit Bag 23 - Worldcons by Bob three more modern ones, I’m familiar with Sabella - We learn that Bob’s a whipped hus 25 band. made. Rat Stew - What is that twit on about now? Indiana-ania: Oh dear! What Can The Mat- ter Be? (sic) by Matt Howard A Trip to Serpent Mound and Fort Hill by We need, sir, to have a slight talk about Alfred D. Byrd - capitalization in titles. That kid needed to One of my favorite places is the Great solve his own problem. Egad. Serpent Mound and Alfred climbed the rick- ety tower, as I have done. Bravo. Things I Discover Without Really Trying by He mentions the odd configuration of the Thomas Sadler, Esq. - serpent effigy’s head. My take: It’s a serpent- You so need to build a castle on Saddler and-egg motif and may reference the rare Mountain. crystal formation under the bluff where it’s built, commemorating the power being IguanaCon report by Taral Wayne - Good linked to the sky. It is a geomagnetic anoma- excuse for a great trip. ly posted on flight maps to this day, and the only such crystal formation known. A Trickle of LoCs - Having once toured many of the mound builder sites in Ohio and elsewhere, includ- Joseph T. Major - ing Cahokia near East St. Louis and Scott I remember that TZ episode. Twist on AFB, I enjoyed Alfred’s article a lot. SF fen the mirror in Sleeping Beauty and it imparted may be interested to know that Robert Silver- about as much megalomaniacal paranoia. berg wrote a good overview of the mound- builder culture called, with typical Agberg ed Brooks - zaniness, The Mound Builders. My “Ralph Waldo Emerson, rubber- gloves-in-a-box manufacturer” was a pun on Indiana-ania: RAH’s invention of the Waldo for the sf’nal The Biggest Man in the United States by fen. My apologies for including it in a zine. Matt Howard - It is interesting to speculate that the Tom Doubrley - KKK is more about turf than skin color, Genre being referent-dependent, of albeit using racism to promote itself. These course one can mix them, but only if one details Matt gives us are as interesting as plays fair. You balk due to shift of tone, as they are chilling. Dying in obscurity and a your food palate analogy makes clear. You lie, while fitting, seems too good for Stephen- wanted root beer and don’t want to alternate son. with quaffs of gravy between sips from the straw. That is why many mixes don’t work, The Eyes Say It All by Sheryl Birkhead - yes. It’s also why it’s hard to pull them off. Superb opening, as good as anything But this is not to say they should not be tried, Alistair MacLean ever wrote. Her account is or cannot be successful. amusing and typical of what we all experi- I’ve marveled for years at the strict cate- ence now and then, small things swarming us gorical thinking especially SF readers evince. toward debacle. Rain, veterinary dentistry, Seems a matter of comfort; they don’t wish and telephone/TV problems only continue to shift their position too much as they loll the basic theme of swarming but at least all’s ensconced in their escapism, perhaps. well that ends well. When I take in a story, regardless of My mother collected bells, too. We have delivery system, (book, movie, TV, poem, many of them in a display cabinet my father graphic novel, spoken word, lyrics in music, 26 etc.), I go with the story’s internal logic and Yes, Winchester House would be great go where the writer takes me. Later, I may for a relaxacon. quibble, even balk, but at the time I’m will- ing to stretch quite a bit. Of course there are Lloyd Penney - hose things that will pull one out or make How does Mieville make one feel dirty something no longer worth pursuing, sure, in Perdido Street Station? He does write but mostly my critical faculties kick in only polemically, being a raging socialist or some- after I’ve taken the story as offered. Seems thing political. Hey, if it crashes the Capital- only fair to me, and has led to some remark- ism Juggernaut, hooray, but one doubts a able discoveries I might not have read, had I book’ll do ‘er. Good luck and a nice lunch known ahead of time what they would job hunting. attempt. This means Alfred Byrd - although I choose TZ is a damned books to read sight more realis- based on what tic than reality I’m in the mood these days. for at the moment of choosing, I am Sheryl Birken- willing to be per- head - If you suaded, or se- write what you duced, elsewhere. know you bore No dudes, yourself and oth- though, please, ers. Write what short of, say, you don’t know Orlando Bloom... and you learn a lot and surprise everyone. All the macho gun talk has me so STIFF. Milt Stevens - Dave Rowe - Don’t worry, fen kvetch. Espe- Agreed: Horror is a style or desired cially about their health. Fred Pohl once effect, not a genre. The fiction marketed as observed that sf writers think about the future such tends to be a combination of supernatu- but dress about 40 years out-of-fashion and ral, terror/suspense, and gore. Some rare act like geriatrics. He was young when he “horror” books and stories manage much observed this. higher literary accomplishments, such as the We are what’s fundamentally wrong ghost stories of M. R. James. with the universe. Thank ghods there are A genre requires certain elements, a more. style does not and can be applied to any Another stellar issue, Tom, and yes, im- genre. Truth is, “genre” is an overworked, lit- proved. Bravo. tle understood term in open sf’nal discussion. Market category would be clearer. --Gene Stewart I think this might help with the Tom Doubrley discussion, too: Merging styles [[Provided the alien was only knocked uncon- can be easier than merging actual genres. scious and so survived the fall. Which, given One doesn’t see many slapstick noir come- the length of the ladder, is possible.//I found dies because the two are largely mutually the news article fascinating and of course dis- exclusive, but you can easily make either a turbing (from a 20th/21st century perspec- comedy or a noir work romantic, too. tive). The crowd could have let the man go 27 for the reason you suggested, which would into the future if not way off the mark in antic- seem more likely. But they may even (unbe- ipating clothing styles that far ahead.//If lievable as it may sound)) have had a tiny there are other universes, ones without brief attack of conscience. As noted else- humans wouldn’t necessarily be better. Dif- where, the main reason I ran that intro was ferent, quite possibly. Worse, just as likely.]] because of its relevance to current times. And it seems likely groups like the Taliban and Al Qaeda are actually hate groups focused on From: Alexis Gilliland non-muslims and especially Christians and 4030 8th Street South, Arlington, VA 22204 Americans.//I don't think Bob would consider September 26, 2011 himself “whipped” but, rather, considerate of his wife.//Rat Stew. The reaction to the col- umn in last issue was a bit stronger.//I admit Dear Tom, the mound builder sites do sound like interest- ing places to visit. Maybe someday . . .. Zani- Thank you for TRF #83, which was, as ness? Maybe Mr. Silverberg thought a sim- usual, nicely done, though I liked Brad Fos- ple, direct title would be the best bet and not ter's back cover better than the Doubrley cause confusion to some few people who front cover which seemed a bit sketchy. In might become confused.//I think to some peo- Rat Stew, Gene Stewart doesn’t know what ple any fate Stephenson suffered would have to do about our currently depressed condi- been too good for him or not nearly suffi- tion, so he denounces the rich. Well, okay, cient.//Yes, Sheryl’s account was amusing the rich did some bad things, like exporting and shouldn't be taken too seriously. I doubt jobs to China and Mexico, but they did them she did. She certainly seems to have more for good reason, like making more money. than her share of problems of all sorts, which However, the changes in our society reflect are serious to her. But some people will the diminishing importance of labor and the always belittle what she writes about. As the increasing importance of capital. Coal min- saying goes, (approximately) “You should ing, which used to employ millions, em- not judge another until you have walked in ployed 88,000 miners in 2009 and lots of his shoes/moccasins.”//Oops. I have to take high-powered machines. As the role of labor partial blame for the capitalization error in becomes less important, working pays less, Matt Howard’s article. I should have caught and the middle class shrinks. What to do and corrected it. I don’t know where my about it? I don't know either. mind was at the time.//A castle on Saddler The article on lynching was a reminder Mountain. $ow there’s an idea. If I had pos- of the dark period in our history after the Civ- session of the mountain, sufficient funds to il War. We note that the ad hoc nature of build one, and could comply with all the regu- lynching was due to the 14th Amendment, lations.//Since guns are considered phallic enacted with a certain amount of controversy symbols, it’s not surprising to read such a in 1868, which first defines who is a citizen comment. A gunpowder induced orgasm? and then says in part: “No state shall make or Oh, Sigmund, what have you done?//I have to enforce any law which shall abridge the privi- wonder what Fred Pohl would say now that leges or immunities of citizens of the United he is a definite “geriatric”. Do SF writers States.” Thus, the states chose not to act really “dress about 40 years out of fashion”? against lynch mobs “keeping the negro in his The ones I’ve seen at cons didn’t seem to be place,” a thing which the states themselves dressed that way. But it would probably have had been forbidden from doing. We note also been seen as outré to try dressing 40 years that 14th Amendment embraces the 2nd

28 Amendment, thereby ensuring that the newly ning the Fan Artist Hugo the first time I was freed blacks had the right to arm themselves up for it, and ... and ... where are my notes? in self-defense. The original mission of the A sheet of cartoons is enclosed for the usual , organized by Nathan Bedford reasons. Forrest, was to disarm blacks, particularly Best wishes, Union veterans returning home with their rifles, and up until the Hayes-Tilden compro- mise in 1877 the Klan served as a tentacle of [Oh well. Sometimes minimalism may not be the Confederate resistance. such a good idea. Win some, lose Times change, and by some.//Gene certainly did the 1920S the Klan had rant. From what I’ve read undergone a peculiarly in the online news these American sort of change, days (and finding anything in that it fell into the hands accurate and unbiased of men who sought to turn seems to be a hopeless social discontent to private task), the Rich have be- profit rather than public come the latest major tar- power. Matt Howard’s arti- get for a large portion of cle on the Klan in Indiana the public. The trend you mentions that following mention is deplorable but the lead of the Delaware, unfortunately what to do Klan Grand Dragon W.C. about it is the hard conun- Stephenson declared the drum and problem. I’m Indiana Klan independent. with you: “I don’t know Why? So he wouldn’t have to share all those either.” If anyone somehow managed to Klan revenues with the national organization. think of a solution some group or groups Selling Klan costumes to every fourth man in would be certain to condemn and oppose it in Indiana was a real money-spinner. Alas, after a far from reasonable and civil manner. We Stephenson’s conviction for the rape of all cope as best we can.//Your brief history of Madge Oberholzer, he and the Klan fell from the KKK was interesting. I was aware that public grace, in part because he had brutally $athan Bedford Forrest had a connection “violated the sanctity of womanhood”, but with the KKK but you added a bit more to my also because the Klan had been exposed as a knowledge. Whether the original intent was tacky scheme for profit rather than the great good or bad, subsequent focuses were even and noble movement for morality and justice worse. It certainly seems as if, sooner or lat- the Hoosiers had imagined. Even so, our boy er, money comes into the picture and those fully expected the governor’s pardon, not who desire to accumulate large amounts because of any past friendship, but because don't care how they do it. It sounds as if in a he had goods on the governor, and when the possibly twisted way, he might have done the governor didn’t come through Stephenson majority of Hoosiers a favor in destroying an went public, destroying both the governor apparently corrupt governor and the politi- and the good old political machine that cal machine even as he himself got couldn't be bothered to get him out of jail. destroyed. $otes do come in handy—unless What else, Taral Wayne remembers Igua- they get lost or misplaced. And memory, nacon back in 1978? I remember walking which often fails, is hit even harder. I can from the hotel to the convention center understand being able to remember “not win- through the Anvil of the Sun, and not win- ning the fan artist Hugo”. I don’t have to wor-

29 ry about having that sort of memory in the Brad fanzine Hugo category since TRF never got enough nominations (probably for good rea- Brad W Foster sons) even to get onto the ballot to be in the PO Box 165246 running. One disappointment I didn’t have to Irving, TX 75016 face and won’t worry about.]] [[Maybe there could be a #100. If I can man- age 16 more introductions, my columnists September 27, 2011 don’t get tired and fed up with providing me with material, I am able to convince fan From: Brad Foster artists to continue supplying me with covers and fillos and the readers don’t lose interest Greetings Tom~ or dread seeing TRF in their mailboxes. #100 would be the July/August 2014 issue. I may Great surprise to get THE RELUCTANT become even more of a doddering old imbe- FAMULUS #83 in the mail this week, so cile before then, assuming I’m still around.// soon after #82. Now that are clearly in the Interesting contrast between your reaction to eighties, can see that century-issue #100 actu- the cover and Alexis’. It certainly demon- ally on the horizon! strates how art can affect different people dif- Have to say LOVE the cover from ferently. At least some of us appreciated the Doubrley, I still grin each time I glance over cover.//Here’s hoping that when October end- at it, and laughed out loud when pulled this ed all became calm again and “semi-con- ish out of the envelope. Simple is tough, and trolled chaos” is no longer assailing you. If in a few lines, and with great design sense, that should be the case, maybe you would this is a winner. Plus a great example of how consider doing a cover for the January/Feb- to make use of limited color for full affect. ruary 2012 issue. (Or not, depending on your Love it. prior commitments.]] I am, however, going to have to let that be the meat of my loc this time. New issue From: Joseph T. Major has arrived in a period when I am going to 1409 Christy Avenue have about three hundred dozen things to get Louisville, KY 40204-2040 done in next few weeks, in and out of town, September 28, 2011 and total craziness. Today I’m just trying to do stuff like this quick email to try to get a Dear Tom: few things off the “to do” list so it is not a monster when I finish all the OTHER stuff The Old Kit Bag: I’ve never quite been that will need to be done. Probably by end of rejected so at a . The closest to that October all will be calm again. But, for now, was the time at MidAmeriCon in 1976 when “semi-controlled chaos” is the phrase of the the group from Louisville booked tickets at day. the Banquet (they still had WorldCon ban- Oh, and I see by my records I need to quets in those days). There were eleven of us. replenish my submission of fillos to you, The tables were for ten. I was the one at the should be two brand new ones attached I next table. hope you will get a grin from, and find a As I understand it, the notorious Crab home for. Feast at ConStellation in Baltimore in 1983 Sorry again for lack of much loc, will try was a serious contributor to ending such to do better next time. affairs. Several hundred fans with crab-crack

30 ing mallets made for an interesting time. leader) for Indiana, but he was also Imperial Photo, Page 10: Perhaps you could take Klaliff (vice-president of the national organi- your “little brown jug” bell to the Little zation). He had participated in the coup that Brown Jug, a harness race for pacers in removed the founder, “Colonel” William Sim- Delaware. Delaware County, Ohio, that is. mons, and the man who built up the Klan, My mother used to enjoy singing the song Edward Y. Clarke, from their positions in the “The Little Brown Jug”. Now that I think Klan. The office had been his reward. about it, that does seem odd, because it’s a Stephenson apparently did not care for song about the joy of drinking, and my moth- the Southern predomination. The causes of er was very much not a drinker. his resignation and secession (I suppose A Few Alabama News Bits: The census- that’s appropriate) were heavily financial; the es are on line and costs of maintain- it should be possi- ing the offices in ble to check Law- Atlanta, for exam- rences from Eufau- ple. Or his proposal la. The 1860 Cen- to buy a bankrupt sus was the first university and re- that listed mem- start it as a Klan- bers of a house- nish organization. hold by name. Stephenson The Biggest used other organiza- Man In the United tional tactics. Indi- States: I recom- ana law permitted mend The Fiery the formation of Cross: The Ku volunteer sheriff’s Klux Klan in America by Wyn Craig Wade posses for the purpose of catching horse (1998) for more on the topic of David Curtis thieves. The law had never been voided. “Steve” Stephenson. He had a talent for the Stevenson set up the Horsethief Detective striking. He would make a dramatic arrival at Association, which was effectively the Indi- a rally by airplane—recall, this was the twen- ana Klan. They concentrated on enforcing ties when such arrivals were not exactly com- Prohibition, quite vigorously, though some mon. Visitors to his office would have their reports indicated that confiscated liquor tend- meetings interrupted by many calls, where ed to go to the detectives. He also established Steve would be giving orders. Except when a women’s auxiliary Klan, which seems to he suddenly became deferential, polite, and have been very effective. ended the conversation with, “Thank you, sir, One wonders what he might have done and please give my regards to Mrs. Coolidge had he been able to control his appetites. as well.” Things I Discover Without Really Try- While Stephenson did have that old trick ing: At least you can go to Saddler Mountain. of a button on the floor that would ring a tele- The land grant my emigrant ancestor Richard phone, it’s worth noting that another matter Major got is now part of Camp Peary in Vir- Wade points out was that the previous Presi- ginia. Camp Peary is a CIA training facility. dent, Warren G. Harding, did join the Klan, IguanaCon: Considering what happened covertly. There was some concern that he when people got there, I’m not really sur- was, as they said then, “passing”, and that prised Taral has anything to say about the was a way of counteracting such rumors. convention. The Parking Lot of Death, Har- Stephenson was Grand Dragon (state lan and the Winnebago, and the like made it

31 one of the more striking WorldCons. ber of lawsuits in the family history and other A Trickle of LoCs: Me: Continuing on legal arguments, going back to the son of my the theme, Fred Pohl revealed recently in his great-great-great-grandfather who was cut blog that there were only three surviving out of the will for having sold his father’s Futurians; himself, Dave Kyle, and Jack slave and horse and kept the money. His sib- Robins. I’m not absolutely sure about that, lings were less annoyed. since there was the one guy who came to the organizational meeting and never came back Namarie, again, but he might still be alive. Joseph T Major Vituperation about Abraham Lincoln? I remember many years ago reading an article about that. The one bit that struck me was [[Having been to only one worldcon (in where someone described him as taking a vis- Chicago), I somehow managed to avoid it to the Antietam battlefield, where his re- being rejected in any way. Which amazes sponse to seeing the largest pile of still- me.//I can just imagine something like the unburied corpses was to turn to his guide and “Anvil Chorus” at that banquet.// Well I’m say, “Marshal Lamon here has heard the fun- not much of a drinker either but I have ut- niest joke. Tell him, Ward.” Ward Hill Lam- tered some of The Little Brown jug myself. I on was a former law partner of the President, say “uttered” because I can’t carry a note and had been appointed a U.S. Marshal so he and sing.//$o. The 1850 census was the first could be Lincoln’s bodyguard. He was in to enumerate all members of a household by Richmond on assignment the night the Presi- name. Every one thereafter added a bit more dent went to the theater. information as time went by. (But maybe you Bob Jennings: Who surely remembers typoed that and meant 1850).//From personal the scene in “The Enchanted Duplicator” experience searching on Ancestry.com even where Jophan meets the Typos. if only census records, can be exasperating Hugo Winning Fan Artist Brad W. Fos- and frustrating. I have entered as much infor- ter: I’ve been “ingesting Diet Coke on a regu- mation as I had, first name, last name, mid- lar basis all day long” since 1978. Before that dle when I knew it, birthdate, place of birth, it was regular Coca-Cola, but my doctor told location where the person was known to have me that was no longer advisable. lived, and so on, only to be confronted with Tom Doubrley: There’s a general divi- hundreds if not thousands of “hits”. In going sion by sex. Girls like Sexy Emo Vam- over them I’ve seen people whose first names pires™, while boys go for zombies. Though are nothing at all what I entered, birthdates there are also sexy werewolves and so on. not the same, they were born some other The idea of the Sexy Emo Vampires™ is place, lived in a different county in a differ- that here is this wise, rich, sensitive, under- ent state, and so on. And occasionally last standing being who will never make any names that bore little resemblance to what I demands and so the girl can wuv him without typed in. To add to the frustration, there will concern. Whereas zombies have to be blown be a little notice saying that additional infor- up, burned, shot, blown up—boys like blow- mation might be more helpful. Damn. If I had ing things up. all that information to begin with I probably After two different books I tried to read wouldn’t be searching on Ancestry.com. And one day both turned into zombie novels— if I haven’t provided enough information to and I didn’t even do more than skim theHugo- suit the search engine it was because I didn’t nominated Feed—I became very despairing. have it, which was why I was searching. I Lloyd Penney: There have been a num- had better luck with the HeritageQuest cen-

32 suses even though they aren’t as complete as From: Robert Jennings Ancestry’s. I found Lawson Lawrence on the 1870 and 1880 censuses in Eufaula, Barbour 1 October 2011 County, Alabama. He was enumerated as “B”, for black. There may be a chance that Hi Tom: he’s enumerated on the 1860 slave census but I haven’t tried that.//Indeed. It might be Received Reluctant Famulus #43. Nice rather difficult to set up a training facility on front cover this time round, however I do feel a mountain. Unless of course there needed to honor bound to point out that this same con- be special training for an operation in cept has been used many times before, proba- Afghanistan, for example. Interesting how bly most famously as the cover for Mad Mag- your ancestors seem to top azine. Still, it was a good mine—and I never even piece of art and the gag pretended mine were any- still brought a smile to my thing special, just plain face. old average folks. $or did This issue had a lot of I presume that Saddler KKK related material. Mountain actually had any Matt Howard’s article on connection with my ances- David Stephenson was an tors.//I wonder how trust- interesting overview on worthy that Antietam anec- how one demagogue man- dote was, given the things aged to elevate the Klan to said about Lincoln back prominence in a place you then. It looks to me to be wouldn’t normally expect something Lincoln’s de- to see it develop. If any- tractors would have glee- thing though, I thought fully passed along even if there was no basis that Matt understated the situation. Stephen- in fact for the story. I suspect Lincoln would son’s notorious career had many more twists have been more sensitive than portrayed in and turns than he managed to highlight here. that bit and more likely appalled and horri- The whole situation merely emphasizes the fied by all the deaths on both sides. Having fact that for a long time the people of this read Team of Rivals and, A. Lincoln, among nation were xenophobic and racist and also other works about him, I’ve discovered there sharply divided along religious grounds. This was a good amount of vituperation towards article might come as something of a surprise him, much of which had no basis in fact and to younger people who tend to believe that were more emotional than rational. But then the veneer of racial and religious equality has when people decide to hate other people always been in place within the US. Unfortu- there seems to be no room for rationali- nately that was never true. ty.[$ote: See my piece at the end of this issue Another facet of this that might be relating to the above anecdote.]//Selling beyond the scope of Howard’s examination, someone else’s slave and horse is certainly is just how easily human beings can be not a nice action but I doubt it was a hanging manipulated so that ethnic or religious offense like stealing horses was in certain hatreds can be flare up unexpectedly. One of places at certain times. So far as I know, the more horrifying modern demonstrations none of my ancestors even sold someone of this came in the 1990s in Serbia where else’s horse and kept the money.//What a gen- Christian and Moslem neighbors who had der generalization regarding boys and girls. been living together peacefully for genera-

33 tions suddenly found themselves engaged in bees” she mentions are most likely German ethnic warfare, with the Christian Serbs com- yellow jacket wasps. These insects happen to mitting massacres and atrocities that seemed be very aggressive and they like to gang up almost unbelievable to most outside observ- on humans. Their stings hurts like crazy and ers, until the photos and eye witness accounts swatting one of the critters releases a phero- started to pour forth. For all the high-sound- mone that causes the other members of the ing phrases in our laws and the mealy species to go into attack mode. Luckily the mouthed pronouncements of politicians and wasps only fly about seven miles an hour so educator, a similar situation could develop any normal human can outrun them easily, here in this country as well. I actually know a but the safest thing she can do is to buy a can couple of people around here who are mem- of Raid Wasp Killer or something similar bers of the local KKK or Aryan Nation (nice with one of those long range jet stream shoot- guys, most of them, except they happen to be ers and wipe that nest out as soon as possible, bigots who are prone to violence), and anti- before more of them hatch out and find other Moslem feeling runs pretty high right now. nearby places to set up housekeeping. How much would it take to spark an anti- $300 for an electrical cord? Really? Moslem pogrom? Not too much, I’m afraid. Does it reach all the way to Austin Texas? The old newspaper notice about the 103 Was she planning on setting up an interstellar year old man who had nine wives and radio link? The price seems pretty excessive. fathered 119 children looks to me to be one Around here you need a permit and of those tongue-in-cheek bits newspapers approval from a registered electrician to set used to run. I seriously doubt that the old up one of those home electricity producing timer was 103 years old, or that he fathered generators. Not only do the fumes from the all that many kiddies. He might have had gasoline motor have to be properly vented, nine wives, altho why any presumably sane but there has to be some kind of relay/cutoff male would want to go something like that is so that when the utility’s electricity power a matter of serious conjecture. Maybe the old finally gets restored that the surge added to guy was ‘tetched in the head’. In past times your generator’s power won’t blow out your local characters would say or do almost any- fuse box or cause a fire. I’ve thought about thing to get their names into the paper, and having one of the things installed, but the this sure sounds like one of those tall-tale cost is pretty high, and the setup cost is also stunts. pretty high, and except for one awful situa- Sheryl Birkhead’s encounter with vipers tion back in 2008 electricity outages around on her garage was amusing. Maybe this here tend to be short term. I might still get could be developed into a made-for-video one someday if hurricanes and ice storms movie. I can picture some of the hype keep affecting the region. already. Trapped inside her Prius with the bat- Bob Sabella’s convention memories tery running down! A slithering blanket of were interesting but do not provoke much in lethal death covers the concert floor! No the way of comment, beyond being surprised place to go! There is No Escape from the that he got involved in fandom thru conven- Plethora Of Pythons! Time is running out as tions and yet somehow managed to make it the foul stench of repulsive slithering reptiles over to the writing/fanzine side of things any- seeps thru the air conditioning vents! How way. My experience is that fans who come to long can she survive SNAKES IN THE the hobby thru conventions tend to stay with GARAGE!! conventions, with perhaps some interaction OK, maybe not. thru local clubs or other face-to-face encoun- From her description those “ground ters. Only rarely do they seem to become in-

34 volved with the print and correspondence including those in the workplace, and insist part of the hobby. With all the conventions that they register to vote. Be relentlessly ha being churned out these days perhaps this is rassing if you have to. You will be stunned one of the reasons the fanzine side of things and amazed at how many people like to bitch appears to be leaner now than in past years. and complain but haven’t even bothered to Great reprint article on the Indian Raid register, much less actually vote in any elec- that never was. tion. Get people At least the true whose view- facts in the mat- points are simi- ter came out. I lar or even suspect there somewhat simi- were similar in- lar to your own cidents else- registered and where that got get them to vote covered up due in all the elec- to the embar- tions. rassment of Third, get those involved. involved in the Gene Stew- political party art’s column process. If you this time consisted of shrill rants against the don’t like the two major parties, then pick current party in power and what they are one of the other parties. There are plenty of doing. I read it thru a couple of times, and them out there, covering a wide variety of except for hyperbolé and screeching I didn’t viewpoints. You will probably have better see much in the way of advice on how to deal luck working with either the Democrats or with the problem. I was sort of expecting the Christian Fascists (oops, there I go again, him, after all the name calling and desk I mean, ahem, the Republicans), since they pounding, to recommend that we grab the have the majority of the population involved pitchforks and torches and take to the streets in their operations, but you don’t have to lim- in armed revolution. Instead he offers no real it yourself. There are small political parties suggestions. everywhere, and one of them may be exactly If he doesn’t have any suggestions, what you want maybe I can offer a few. If you don’t like the Political parties of any size are delighted way politics is going these days (and I for to have interested people involved in their one, do not), then the first thing you need to actual party working processes. You can be a do is get yourself down to City Hall and regis- volunteer addressing envelopes, filing pa- ter to vote. Then make sure you do vote; not pers, working on voter registration, assisting just in the national elections, but in all the pri- candidates, passing out leaflets or doing a maries, and in all the local city/town/neigh- hundred and one other things that will help borhood elections as well. Politicians start at your party get elected in the next election. the ground level and work their way up. If You can work with individual candidates you start making your voice heard at the whose views and personalities you approve ground level as well as in the larger elec- of, or you can try to affect the party position tions, you will have a much better chance of on local and state issues at local planning and affecting future voting issues. discussion meetings. If you’re willing to The next thing you should do is talk to become involved, every political party wants every one of your friends and acquaintances, you, right now, to become involved in its op-

35 erations. If you are very dedicated and articu- had provided the organ music for the pro- late they may even want you to run for office gram were not credited, he had new music under their banner (after you’ve proved you inserted onto the newly cut discs and tapes. are competent and dedicated, and not just a He probably didn’t have to do that, any of hot tempered blowhard stirred up by some that, including actually handing out these contentious personal issue.) belated royalties, but Michaelson was a good You could also give some money to your guy and he wanted everybody to share in any favorite political party or candidate, collect profits that might be generated by this re- signatures for petition drives about issues introduction of old time radio programming that deeply concern you but that you feel the to a new generation. local political parties are not addressing, join Take my word for it, you do not, repeat, a citizens’ action group that is zeroed in on you do NOT want to try out Moxie. This is a some specific issue that needs to be brought beverage that was used as an instrument of to the public’s attention. You could also torture by the Chinese Communists during write careful, reasoned, non-screeching let- the Korean War, a substances that the Mas- ters to local newspapers and journals, includ- sachusetts Highway Department uses to dis- ing club journals in other organizations you solve road-kill, something that tattoo parlors might be part of, and speak up, whenever any- use to etch away old faded tattoos. Believe body says something stupid you don’t agree me, you do not ever want to taste this horri- with in casual conversation, stating your own ble stuff. I am firmly convinced that people viewpoint clearly, concisely and with a smile who drink Moxie come from another planet. on your face. Don’t be battered and intimidat- It’s only their high imaging camouflage tech- ed by the people out there who are working nology that allows these hideous creatures to to destroy this democracy. While this democ- pass for human. The fact that Moxie is only racy is still in working order, be part of it. Be sold in part of New England shows, more part of it right now. Not tomorrow, or next than anything else, that the secret battle of week, or next month, or whenever you feel dedicated human agents fighting against like you have some spare time to kill. Get these alien monsters has been mostly success- involved right now, and stay involved. ful. Don’t try to drink Moxie. Mere words This seem like a more reasonable course cannot express how awful this liquid tastes. of action that screaming at the top of your If you ever try to drink that stuff you will voice or advocating violence in the streets. regret the decision till the end of your days. Anyway, that’s my opinion. Tom Doubrley makes some interesting Taral Wayne and Alfred D. Byrd provid- points about purity in literary genres. I’m not ed travel/sightseeing reports that were more so puritanical in my reading habits as he is. or less interesting, but I happen to have a low I’ve read fantasies with strong science fiction boredom threshold for travel dialogs and elements and science fiction that has some none of this evokes comments from me. fantasy elements injected into the story that From the letter column, when the worked out well. However I generally agree Michaelson Syndicate re-released the Shad- that suddenly taking a left turn in the middle ow transcription discs and leased them to of a story and dropping a completely discor- radio stations beginning in the early sixties, dant element into the plot is generally a bad Michaelson was determined that every per- idea. son who had taken part in the original broad- I also agree that the word horror is a casts would get paid a royalty, however small descriptive adjective. Any kind of story can it might turn out to be. When checking the become a horror if the writing style evokes records showed that some of the people who that mood. However, in the last few decades

36 horror has become a genre all its own. I pre- nerds to overwhelm the Avengers with social fer the term supernatural stories to deal with contact information so they can’t find time to a lot of this stuff. Stories of demons, magic, deal with the real world problems because devils, vampires and the like is not necessari- they are so busy interacting on the Internet. I ly horrible in the emotional sense, but those think a lot of today’s comic readers could stories get classified as horror anyway wheth- really appreciate that kind of story line. er they create the sense of genuine horror or People secretly want to believe in magic not. and superstitions because they have a wish On the other hand there is now a specific fulfillment mentality. If you believe in magic kind of writing that delib- then maybe you can find erately tries to evoke the some magic that will feeling of fear and/or instantly cure the problems revulsion, and this is a in your life. Superstition true horror genre. Often it strives to prevent tragedy does not involve supernat- or ill fortune from affect- ural elements at all. Some ing the practitioner. If of the most disturbing sto- something goes wrong ries I ever read dealt with with life, most people human beings who were would prefer to believe deliberate murderers or tor- that it was not their own turers, small children who fault, that it was not butchered their friends caused by their own lack and families, groups of of good judgment or their people who casually own actions. It is easier to turned into less than wonderful people and believe that evil spirits, or demons, or not per- took brutal actions against other people. This forming some sort of ritual that would have is true horror, and there are those who enjoy appeased the gods and guarded you against that kind of writing. Generally speaking I am the malicious creatures that are trying to ruin not one of them. your life was to blame. There isn’t much dif- I think we need to more closely define ference between superstition, religion and our terms, and break the ‘horror’ category magic in my opinion. People want to believe down into more realistic terms, one of which that somehow everything will be made ought to be supernatural stories. I still enjoy instantly wonderful, so I think the real ques- supernatural stories, but most of those stories tion is why there aren’t more people con- don’t frighten or disturb me the way the new vinced of the reality of magic and why there horror genre does, which suits me just fine. are so many people are willing to support the Great Alexis Gilliland cartoon on page scientific explanation of the universe. 34. I often wondered about superheroes in a Well, this was another varied issue, gen- digital-connected world. Would Superman erally an enjoyable one. I look forward to see- have time to save the world if he was busy ing issue #84. updating his Facebook wall and twittering all day? I think even The Flash might be a little ---Bob Jennings pressed for time keeping up with all the 29 Whiting Rd. incoming email and spam on his personal Oxford, MA web-site. Maybe some enterprising comic book writer can devise a whole story arc when a master villain hires a group of amoral [[Well it’s possible there are those who have

37 never seen any versions of the cover for #82 you made. That doesn’t mean there won’t or the one on Mad Magazine, so it might be still be some of mine that I missed.]] new to them.//I suspect Matt was merely pre- senting an overview of Stephenson’s career From: Jerry Kaufman rather than a long, detailed account which might have required more space than I’d Oct. 2, 2011 have been willing to devote and readers would want to read..// Sometimes it seems as Thanks for continuing to send The Reluc- if you delight in poking fun at Sheryl’s tales. tant Famulus our way. I liked this issue’s wit- For example, the snake one. It was only a ty front cover by Tom Doubrley, especially small snake. I doubt that she was actually its use of color, and the cartoon you used for afraid of it, just leery of encountering it in the back cover is the usual Brad foster oddi- the dark without warning, and that’s some- ty. I’ll bet he can’t explain why the Bishop thing different. Some people might have has a scar. turned tail and run back into their house; oth- You’re right that most of us would rather ers might have tried to kill the snake no mat- forget lynchings and other horrific events ter how small. Sheryl simply eased it out of from our American past, but I don’t think we her garage where it didn’t belong and out- will, as long as people look to our history for side, where it did. She’s a veterinarian, after parallels or anti-parallels to current trends, all, and deals will all sorts of animals (Well, seek out hidden background to explain why I don’t know about snakes.), usually seeing things here are the way they are, or earlier to their health and keeping them alive when movements for social change to suggest how possible. Plenty of people have an adverse things can get better (or worse) in the future. reaction at even the sight of a snake. I doubt How can otherwise “good” people believe Sheryl was terrified of it but merely felt it that inflicting pain and death is the right path would be better off outdoors. Of course, if to a better world? you were trying to be funny, I’m not sure how I wonder what year Bob Sabella attended successful you were. But that’s my opinion Clarion West Writers Workshop? From con- and I’m sure you’ll disagree with it.//That text, I think he went to one of the early 1970s was one of the reasons I used that news arti- workshops organized by Vonda McIntyre. cle about the alleged 103 year old man. It She attended one of the original Clarions in was amusing and so absurd that it seemed as Clarion, Pennsylvania, in 1969, and started if it couldn’t have been true. But then, im- Clarion West soon after, here in Seattle. I probable as it may seem, it very well could think her Clarion West lasted a couple of have been. $ewspaper reporters have been years; Marilyn Holt and J.T. Stewart started known on occasion actually to verify stories it up again in 1984. Bob, you haven’t gone to they write. It’s easy to be skeptical of such an a Worldcon since 1971, but have you gone to account after so many years and to dismiss it any smaller, local or regional conventions out of hand. I’m not saying I believe it but it since then? may possibly be true and no amount of sec- Alfred Byrd’s description of Serpent ond-guessing could change that.//“Christian Mound was fascinating. I’m sorry I never vis- Fascists”. Careful. Someone might take of- ited it or any similar monuments when I still fense at that and object.//I’ll take your word lived in Ohio. for it regarding Moxie. It’s doubtful I’ll ever Your little brown jug bell on page 10 is be in any locale where it’s available any- my favorite. If I collected bells, I’d want this way.//Oh—as you may be able to tell—this in the collection. Some of the others a bit too time I made certain to take care of any typos twee for my taste.

38 Yours, rable con is of sitting in on a conversation Jerry Kaufman between Kelly Freas and Robert Bloch. Bloch was one of the most entertaining talk- [[Bells. Yes. Well we all have different tastes, ers I have ever heard, and Freas made sketch- and my taste in bells probably seems strange es to illustrate his points. It lasted over an or bizarre. I just went around purchasing hour, and I sat transfixed. ones that struck my fancy or I thought were Faithfully, sufficiently unlike most bells people might col- lect. I assure you I have others which you might not consider “twee”. If anything, I’d [[It's good to hear from you again, as busy consider myself possibly a bit fey ( ot the as you must be. I've often wondered how you comedienne Tina)//I are but have hesi- imagine that if you tated to be inquisi- were to ask Brad he tive and intrusive very likely wouldn’t on your time and be able to explain your privacy.//If the illo on the back. I’m not out of line, //Your question at since that was the end of your sec- your first conven- ond paragraph is a tion, what were good one that I’ve your initial feel- asked myself occa- ings at being sionally. As I have around so many noted before, and (for that time) SF will probably contin- fans?//Wow. Sit- ue to do so, one noticeable tendency of ting in on a conversation with Kelly Freas humans is, If all else fails, kill someone or and Robert Bloch. I only saw Mr. Freas a something. That seems to be the favorite final couple of times, probably at the Chicon, but solution to all problems.]] never had any opportunity of trying to talk with him. I met Mr. Bloch once, at that same From: Gene Wolfe Chicon, I believe, when I approached him PO-Box 69 with a copy of TRF. I can’t remember Barrington IL 60011 whether or not I said anything to him. Proba- bly not. Or if I did it was probably very brief 10/10/11 since I’d have been too worried about saying something stupid or inane. From what I’ve read of the two Bobs (Bloch and Tucker) they Dear Tom, both were funny, entertaining fans. I would I was at that St. Louis Worldcon, too. It have been transfixed myself if I had listened was my first convention. I had left Rosemary in to such a conversation as theirs and silent and our kids with her Uncle Cookie and Aunt as a rock. It’s sad that both of them are gone Dorothy and gone on to St. Louis while she now. I did have a few all too brief conversa- remained with them in Peoria. tions with Tucker and tried not to say any- The fan who fell through the movie thing stupid or inane. It must have worked; screen was Eliot Shorter, a man by no means he never avoided my when we encountered short. He was riding a tricycle at the time. each other.]] My fondest memory of that truly memo-

39 From: Lloyd Penney Michael Bloomberg will be ordering the police to clean the street tomorrow of all 1706-24 Eva Rd. protesters…so much for freedom of speech Etobicoke, ON and assembly. CANADA M9C 2B2 A man in Alabama had nine wives and October 13, 2011 117 children? That’s from an era where we Dear Tom: took a man at his word, and his word was his bond, and journalistic standards were not Thank you for The Reluctant Famulus what they are today; we do sufficient fact- 83. While you get some attention to your checking to ensure that what we print is as clumsy painter on the cover, I’ll think up accurate as we can ascertain. some comments for you, and type them up. Joseph Major can rest easily…Margaret It’s a quiet evening… Atwood is finally embracing her inner SF The history of the Ku Klux Klan is of writer. She’s just released a new book called pride to no one I know, but I know the Klan In Other Worlds, and I don’t think we’ll hear is still busy here and there, and related white anything more about squids in space. supremacist groups are here and there, still You said that Royal Crown Cola and Dr. spreading their hate. At least we’re not ignor- Pepper migrated north. Northern US or Cana- ing or forgetting the sins of the past, and da? I can get Dr. Pepper and Diet DP just we’re hoping to eradicate this hatred today. about anywhere, and Yvonne says she saw In many ways, I’m amazed we still have to Royal Crown Cola a few months ago. I won- deal with this hate. der if Cott Beverages, a large Canadian soda Worldcons are not to everyone’s tastes. maker who makes no-name soda for many We quite enjoy them, and we go to the ones stores, including Wal-Mart, purchased the we can afford. If they were really for every- rights to the name Royal Crown Cola a while one, we’d have tens of thousands attending. ago. Also, because of the interest at its heart, liter- I like Tom Doubrley’s recalling of the ary SF, I found that this year’s edition in words of Dr. Asimov…I’d bet that the inabili- Reno seemed to be populated by those in ty of people to tell the difference between sci- their 40s, 50s and older. We all know some- entific and science-fictional ideas goes far one who doesn’t even like going to local outside the boundaries of the USA. cons, so conventions and Worldcons are just And, I certainly didn’t expect the Bish- part of the wide variety of fannish activities op, especially at the end of the zine. Check- we enjoy today. mate? I would certainly agree with Gene Stew- Many thanks, Tom…getting late. Have art on most of his points, as I do on Face- yourself a great weekend, and see you with book, but I can’t agree with him on NAFTA. the next issue. The North American Free Trade Agreement Yours, Lloyd Penney. was signed by Canada and the US (not sure about Mexico), and there is a group that [[The AEMTs (alien emergency techs) got administers the agreement to see that one there as quickly as they could. Fortunately country or the other does not get the advan- the painter was a tough old ET, having come tage. Can’t have it your way all the time from a higher gravity planet.//Well the KKK when you deal with an ally or business part- might have been of some pride to the extrem- ner. The Occupy movement that’s covering ists who usurped it. While it may be amazing Wall Street is spreading, and it’s becoming a that “we still have to deal with this hate” or worldwide phenomenon, but I’ve read that any other, we need to be reminded from time

40 to time that it still exists and new hate targets was thinking in terms of those soft drinks are found and new haters born all the time. It moving from southern U. S. to northern U.S.. seems as if hate never dies and flourishes But it doesn’t surprise me that Doctor Pep- even in barren soil.//I didn’t mind all that per and Royal Crown might have crossed the much the one and only worldcon I attended. border into another country. Coke and Pepsi Certainly it was scary for me at first but with have, and across oceans as well.//I suspect the larger number of attendees the chances of that being unable to tell the difference seeing and meeting someone I knew or hoped between science and science fictional—and to meet for the first time were the supernatural of ghosts, greater even with the possibil- vampires, and werewolves— ity of never encountering is universal. It takes more someone I very much wanted effort to understand science, to meet.//Some of what Gene which is beautiful in its own wrote makes a little sense but way, because science de- there were other parts with mands hard facts and evi- which people will disagree, dence whenever possible.]] as is their right. I think $AF- TA was a good idea from the From: John Purcell point of view of cooperating with America's closest neigh- October 15, 2011 bors, Canada and Mexico. The fact of having a group to Yay! Back in the loc oversee the agreement seems a good one, pro- writing saddle again. vided they are able to enforce their deci- Many thanks for the splendid issue, sions.//So far, the OWS (as it’s often referred Tom. As usual, I thoroughly enjoyed reading to) is still there in $ew York though there are it, and this time I'm actually writing a loc on concerns of supporters that it may dissolve it early. What a concept, eh? now that winter is fast approaching.// Both front and back covers are fun. I Agreed, that there is a possibility the old fel- finally had the pleasure to meet Brad Foster low was exaggerating a bit. Still there is a up in at Fencon VIII/DeepSouthCon possibility he wasn’t. The more reputable 49 a few weekends ago; helluva nice guy, newspapers try to maintain some sort of who even let me hold his Hugo Award for integrity and standards for facts and accura- Best Fan Artist. Beautiful award, too. The cy but many others don’t seem so scrupulous. base is just gorgeous; multi-layered glass Then there are many people who choose not interlaced with floral work (if I recall correct- to believe what any news source prints or pro- ly). Hefty bugger, too. Congratulations, vides and doubt any and all facts present- Brad! And to everybody else, too, for that ed.//Maybe Atwood had a bit more exposure matter. to the better SF (which we discerning fans Your editorial musings are definitely know does exist) or someone educated her somber and get me to thinking that this coun- about that fact and to the fact that there’s try of ours, as wonderful as it is and can be, nothing wrong about writing SF and admit- is still mired in the past and filled with wrong- ting that’s what it is. It is so much easier to thinking individuals. I can't help but think belittle and ridicule something like SF than that America's economic problems are due in to take the time to learn more about the sub- part to the race issue. I hate to say that, but it ject. Some people seem happy and secure in definitely seems to be true. If Senator Hillary their ignorance and prejudice.//At the time I Clinton, a white woman, had been elected

41 President in 2008, would she have received not, but the cynic in me rules the day on this the same negative treatment from Republi- topic. cans that President Obama has received? It Okay, some quick comments: certainly smacks as racism, even though con- I really must get to Kentucky and see servatives won't admit it. Sadly, the race card those Indian Mounds. Oh, I know; they’re all is exacerbated by the partisanship that our over America in one way or another, but Ser- lovely elected officials practice day in and pent Mound is so famous and bloody cool. I day out. Whenever President Obama tries to would love to visit the site. Of course, the mil- kick-start some kind of plan that may or may itary history buff in me would like Kentucky not work to get Americans working again or for the Civil War historical sites, too. boost the economy, Republicans go straight Been to Indiana, and camped for five on the offensive and slam dunk these plans days in Indiana Dunes State Park on the back in Obama’s face without any kind of shore of Lake Michigan back in July of 1999. cogent debate. Sounds to me like many con- Beautiful campground area, and it was nice gressional Republican leaders are miffed that to wander the beach, watching the waves roll a black man—let alone a Democrat—defeat- in and see the Chicago skyline poking its ed their good old boy white Senator (Mc- spires up from across the water. The skyline Cain) in a fair fight. Well, even Mitch Mc- wasn’t very tall, given the distance involved: Connell has come right out and said that the I think the campground was something like Republican strategy is to do whatever they 20 miles across the lake. Still, that was cool. can to make Obama a one-term president. Backtracking a bit to Bob Sabella’s remi- Sounds like major sour grapes to me. niscence about MidAmeriCon (1976). That Well. I got up on a soap box there, didn’t was my first world convention, and I had a I? Oh, well. I am sure I am not the only per- blast. It was great fun meeting fans from son who feels this way. It will be interesting around the world and making new friend- to read other comments from your readers. ships. Can’t remember which books I bought Suffice to say, racism and bigotry of any kind in the huckster room there, but I do remem- will always be a part of the American psy- ber that it was huge. A lot of fun, definitely. che; in many ways, that is a big factor in cre- Sure wish I could remember if I had met Bob ating this country. there or not. We shall never know. Now to move onto other topics of note in And Taral Wayne’s trip report to and this issue. Hmm. Gene Stewart keeps this from IguanaCon (1978) was enjoyed. That thread going in his article. I agree that Ameri- was the only other world convention I have ca is depressed, Disgusted, too. Witness the attended so far. The odds are good my wife Occupy Wall Street protests that are progress- and I will be in , Texas for Lon- ing across the country. I think the general eStarCon 3 (in two years) since it’s not even population is getting to the point where we a three hour drive from home. That would be feel the need to “engage the enemy” again, good. I have been recruited by some folks on much like we did in the 1960s and early the con committee to host the fanzine lounge 1970s. We shall see if those idjits in Washing- at LSC 3, so that sounds like I really should ton, DC get the hint. To lift the most famous send in my membership money, doesn’t it? phrase from the movie Network (1976), *sigh* I guess... “we’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to And the loccol is a good one. I don’t see take it anymore!” Hope so. America will ei- what you’re complaining about, Tom; you ther become stronger and better for the effort get more locs than I do, but I believe the rea- or will tear itself apart. I afraid the latter- son is that TRF is mailed out first before get- sounds like the more likely scenario. Hope ting posted to efanzines.com. To generate

42 more letters, I handed out a pile of copies of That and the fact that he’s a damned Demo- Askance 24 at Fencon/DSC last month, and crat and Liberal (three dirty words in a row now it’s time to see if folks write back to me. to the Republicans there).Over the past few I sure hope so. Getting only three or four locs months I’ve found myself almost regretting in response to an issue posted online is not a having moved to a state that has Mitch big return. Gee, I guess I’m pubbing because McConnell for a representative. The man I like to do it. creeps me out. (And I bet that comment gets Well, I think that just about me into hot water with some- does it for now. Again, thank body) I am glad, though, I don’t you for sending the zine my live in a state with John Boehner way, and I look forward to the representing it. (And that one next issue. will probably get me into some All the best, sort of trouble also.)Whether they like it or not neither party is John Purcell perfect and neither has all the answers or is always correct. But “The only people who tell the the belief that they do seems to truth are drunkards and children. have bec- ome even more of an Guess which one I am?” emotional and unreasonable atti- tude and a self-destructive one. -- Stephen Colbert And no matter how reasonable average people may try to be, [[Your first paragraph almost they too will feel the wrath and makes you sound like a fannish disdain of either one or both par- Gene Autry.//Bet Brad’s Hugo ties and their supporters. John, would make a good doorstop or you’re certainly not the only one at least a worthy paper- who feels that way. There are weight.//It's difficult to say how plenty of people who try to be Hillary Clinton would have been treated if reasonable and rational. It’s the extremists she had been elected president. Some would on both sides who make the loudest noises likely been disrespectful of her because of and scream the most lies and distortions. her gender. Others might have accepted her //Alfred’s articles about the Mound Builders because she was white It is easy (and not real- have caused me to be more interested in them ly surprising) to presume that President Oba- and I may some day visit one or more of the ma’s race has much to do with the treatment sites. Whenever that might be, after discover- he receives and so racist in nature. It’s also ing there is a Mound Builders’ site in Alaba- very obvious that anyone accused of such ma, that may be the first one I’d visit.//You’re racism would hotly deny it. That’s only correct. I shouldn’t be complaining about the human nature. That racism still exists is a loccol and so I’ll strive to be more content fact, like it or not. People are guilty of deny- with what is received.. Aren’t most of us fools ing accusations of anything even if they’re who are still publishing fanzines are doing it caught red-handed or there is some sort of for the reason you gave? It has to be. $ow I reasonable proof to support the charges. The feel guilty. I should try to LoC Askance and Republicans in Con- gress will intransigently some other fanzines just to be fair and help- maintain their stand against anything they ful to the cause. I just hope that if I do so I perceive as new taxes is why they continually won’t seem like more of a blithering idiot oppose anything Pres-ident Obama attempts. than I al-ready do.// Re: The Stephen Colbert

43 quote. My guess would be a drunken child.]] actually could have attended was Solacon in 1958. The first worldcon I did attend was Tri- ton in 1966. I was married two weeks before October 17, 2011 MidAmericon in 1976, and we split the week after L.A.con II in 1984. I co-chaired the Dear Tom, worldcon in 1984. Chairing a worldcon is an experience like no other. It’s somewhere The cover depicts an alien who has fall- between swimming the English Channel and en off a ladder while painting the title. That being dropped off the Eiffel Tower on your reminded me of something odd. My father head. It’s a profound experience. quit smoking by falling off a ladder. That Taral writes about getting to IguanaCon. wasn’t the recommended way of doing it At IguanaCon, I remember trekking across even back then, but it worked. He was on an the burning wastes of the Anvil of God old wooden ladder which came apart while between the hotel and the convention center. he was on it. He could probably have I remember we almost had roast Ellison with bounced on the cement all right, (He was minivan. Harlan learned staying in a minivan good at that sort of thing.) but he fell across in the middle of a Phoenix summer wasn’t one of the pieces and broke several ribs. It such a good idea. hurt when he laughed. It hurt a whole bunch more when he coughed. By the time his ribs Yours truly, healed, the urge to smoke had gone away. Speaking of my father, he and his moth- Milt Stevens er lived in Shreveport, LA for a while back in the twenties. There was a Klan lynching in 6325 Keystone St. town while they were there. The victim was a Simi Valley, CA 93063 Black who had killed his common law wife. [email protected] The Klan enforced that Blacks did not get out of line in any way. It didn’t have to be an [[I certainly wouldn’t recommend falling off interracial situation. a ladder and breaking some ribs as a way to I’ve heard a number of Southerners com- quit smoking even if it was successful in your ment that the better class of people weren’t father’s case. Just quitting smoking is painful members of the Klan. I believe that. If you enough as it is. I know. I used to smoke (cig- take a look at the White supremacists of arettes and pipes), then was struck with good today, it might provide an idea of what the sense and decided to quit. Cold turkey. It was backbone of the Klan was like. Current difficult at first but gradually became easier. White supremacists aren’t superior to much Since smokers have been known to be prone of anybody. The supremacists want to con- to coughing, broken ribs would certainly be vince themselves there are people who are an incentive to stop.//It may not have been a even lower than they are. racial incident but it’s interesting to note the Bob Sabella writes about his experiences KKK chose that particular method. Given A- with worldcons. I could probably fill a not mericans’ focus on guns and gun ownership very small book with my experiences with a simple gunshot to the head would have worldcons. Worldcons have been a major fac- been as effective. Of course that would have tor of my life. The first worldcon I was aware been too quick an alternative and not quite of at the time was Dave Kyle’s Newyorcon as spectacular. $ot that I would advocate or in 1957. I could have as easily afforded a va- suggest such a method. Ultimately, though, it cation trip to the moon. The first worldcon I wasn’t up to the KKK to perform an execu-

44 tion in any manner. We are supposed, even ty which starred Marlon Brando and Trevor then, to be living in a nation of laws, as some Howard. M.G.M. had built an exact seagoing people like to put it—but not lynch law by a replica of the Bounty. Well, not absolutely mob.//I have a feeling some former worldcon exact. The tour guide pointed out the the chairs would have preferred the similes you length was a foot or two longer and the width used. “A profound experience.” I have a feel- was a few inches broader just to make it ing some former worldcon chairmen would more seaworthy. Forty One years later there have used a different was the H.M.S. Bounty word//Thank goodness docked at Toronto with a there was no roast Elli- placard asking for dona- son. He would have been tions for its upkeep, a great loss. I never had which was badly needed the opportunity of meet- as it appeared someone ing him and probably nev- had used its bow as a bat- er will. But then it's very tering-ram. likely I would have And at the ’76 lacked the courage to Midamericon: Missed approach him anyway.]] Bob. Sorry, Bob. One correction to From Dave Rowe Al’s intriguing article on 8288 W Shelby State the Serpent Mounds. Its Road 44 snout points Northwest to Franklin IN 46131-9211 the SUMMER solstice 2011 October 22 (not winter which would be Southwest). Indiana has produced some well known Dear Tom, monsters: Charles Manson and Jim Jones to RE: TRF 83 name just two but if you were to mention D. C. Thompson to most hoosiers these days Actually a 16 page locol is NOT to be they’d probably just say “Who?” Still it's fair sniffed at. Altho' there are probably more to reiterate Matt’s line about “eighty years comment hooks in 83 than 82 so maybe this after his reign his memory can cause a timbre loc will be part of an even longer locol. in the voice of those who were only children Bob’s recollection of worldcons is at the time”. Carolyn’s grandmother was a bound to harvest some choice comments. The teenager and Catholic back then and the trouble with worldcons is that they are just ONLY time there was fear in her voice was too large. Have only been to four and don’t when she once mentioned D. C. Thompson. intend to attend any more. As for memories And Sheryl’s “Within the proverbial of them: Owing to a communication mishap, split second my mind processed the wrong- managed to set out for the ’79 Worldcon with- ness of something.” Oddly enough our dog, out shoes! 2003 in Toronto, it is a little Red, would agree with this. If he is outside of known fact that my spectacles saved the the house and anything has been moved, like Awards Ceremony. Dave Kyle had mis- a neighbor parking a trailer away from its usu- placed his and had to borrow mine to read his al place, Red will growl and even bark at this piece. Another memory from that con was “wrongness”. meeting the H.M.S. Bounty again. The first BTW, Sheryl, the town your father was time was in 1962 in the Pool Of London. born is Chrisney, which now has a popula- There was a remake of Mutiny On The Boun tion of around 500 and is very near to the log 45 cabin where Abe Lincoln spent his childhood Of the two names you mentioned, you meant and teenage years. Charles Manson of Helter Skelter notoriety Describing the Southwestern deserts can and accidentally left the “n” out. Which I be tricky. As a result Taral’s article was spot- inserted.//Our dog, Daisy, seems to react ty but at least a good try. For some of the (mostly by barking furiously) at wrongnesses best desert portraits read any of Tony Hiller- that she senses. Unfortunately most of the man’s Navajo police novels up to 1993 time is to the presence of cars and pickup (Sacred Clowns). Highly recommended. trucks traveling back and forth on Gill Brad: The reason for saying R. Crumb Branch Road, vehicles she has seen countless created his style of cartooning while on drugs times. I don’t know if she’s over sensitive, was because R. Crumb said it himself. It’s in paranoid, very territorial and warning off a documentary simply entitled Crumb. You things which she feels aren't supposed to be can probably get it thru Netflix or Interli- there. I don’t know what she’d do if she saw brary Loan but you should be warned he a snake of any size. I hope I never find out.// comes across as a very messed-up man from Crumb “. . . said he no longer liked being R. a very messed-up family. Even tho it was Crumb . . .” And yet he had been that for how directed by one of his friends who is a mem- many years before deciding what he did? But ber of his band. After seeing it R. Crumb said then sometimes people, for whatever reasons he no longer liked being R. Crumb and threw can't change and others simply won’t. Still, his favorite hat into the sea. If you see the as another old saying goes, “Better late than documentary you won’t be surprised. never.” Sometimes changing one’s self takes Fair to say, enjoyed your mixing of Mon- an awful lot of work and willpower. How ty Python parts. easy it is to retain one’s status quo. Too bad there wasn’t some way to include that dread- Tom: Thanks again. ful torture device: the Comfy Chair.]]

[[I suppose 16 pages of locs is a respectable number and so I really shouldn’t complain. October 26, 2011 Perhaps there were more comment hooks in #83, and it’s true there are 23pages of locs in Dear Tom, this issue. The question now will be, how many comment hooks are there in this issue? I have read and enjoyed every word and I’ll have to wait and see if there were enough as usual think the artwork great. Forgive lack to generate a reasonable number in the next of comment but my powers of concentration issue. Whatever the outcome, I will strive to are some what diminished at the moment, so avoid complaining.//How on Earth did you I’m afraid folks are only getting a thank you manage to set out for that worldcon without note. shoes? I presume you purchased a pair some- One question. The first bell is at the end where along the way or when you arrived. It of Gene’s article; is the lovely collection his was fortunate for Dave Kyle that your glass- or yours? es worked for him. The replica of the Bounty A story worthy of Sheryl. Getting up to was slightly longer and wider to make it go to the loo in the night I somehow man- more seaworthy? The original wasn’t seawor- aged to put my weight on my foot with the thy enough? And yet it made it to Pitcairn toes bent back the wrong way. An almighty Island. A pity that so many years later the cracking noise. replica was in such bad shape. Pure neglect? Swelling and bruising and the fact that I Or some sort of carelessness?//I wonder . . . could not stand made me decide to consult

46 GP. He said go to minor injuries unit, £50 taxi fare. They said you have a cracked bone Did He Really Do It? and your bones are so thin it could easily become worse, you must go to the trauma unit (depending on traffic 35 to 45 minutes After reading Joe Major’s mention of away) and be fitted with a support boot. Only Abraham Lincoln at Antietam I became curi- appointment available, crack of dawn, I am ous about the incident cited and did some not a morning person at the best of times. At research online to see if there was any sort of least found a neighbour willing to take me corroborating evidence to support it. The fol- for the cost of petrol. lowing excerpt from the book Mr. Lincoln’s Moral of the story. 76 year old woman High Tech War by Thomas B. Allen and with severe osteoporosis should not attempt Roger MacBride Allen is the closest I’ve to dance Swan Lake in the middle of the come so far. night. But first. There was, it appears, a bitterly anti-Lincoln cartoon, based on slanderous Best wishes Pamela. newspaper reports of the President’s callous disregard of the misery of Union troops at the [[Regarding your question about the bells: I front. The story that Lincoln had joked on the should have made it more clear. All the bells field at Antietam appeared in the “New York pictured in the last issue are mine and just a World.” The cartoon shows Lincoln holding small part of my collection.//Having once bro- a plaid Scotch cap. Lincoln stands on the bat- ken my wrist and in 2009 my right leg, I feel tlefield at Antietam, which is littered with your pain. And the expense involved. I’m not Union dead and wounded. [There was at one overly thrilled by mornings either, especially time a false story claiming that Lincoln wore that early. As for me, well I wouldn’t attempt a cloak and scotch cap while sneaking dancing Swan Lake at any time. I’d be likely through Baltimore. Thus, the cap and cloak to break or crack more bones than I already became a frequently-used cartoonist’s short- have or care to. Or end up with a concussion hand for suggesting to the readers that Lin- from having fallen on my head. I’m just not a coln was cowardly.] dancer. “Can’t sing, can’t dance—what can The cartoon shows Lincoln instructing you do?” asked the talent agent.]] his friend Marshal Lamon, who stands with his back toward the viewer and his hand over his face, to “sing us Picayune But- ler, or something else that’s funny.” Quoting from Mr. Lincoln’s High Tech War, Chapter Eight: Old War, $ew War, the section headed, The Commander-in-Chief Conciliat- ing the Soldier’s Vote. As related in The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, the background of this grim cartoon is as follows: Ward Lamon, a close friend of the President, received the following letter: “[To] Ward H. Lamon: Philadel- phia, Sept. 10, 1864. “Dear Sir, 47 Enclosed is an extract from the New which the President ‘was driving over the York World of Sept. 9, 1864: field (of Antietam) whilst details of men “ONE of MR. LINCOLN’S JOKES. The were engaged in the task of burying the second verse of our campaign song published dead.’ You will confer a great favor by an on this page was probably suggested by an immediate reply. incident which occurred on the battle-field of “Most respectfully your obedient ser- Antietam a few days after the fight. While vant, “A. J. PERKINS.” the President was driving over the field in an [Civil War ambulances were basically ambulance, accompanied by Marshal Lamon, horse-drawn carriages. It was an accepted General McClellan, and another officer, practice for them to be used to carry officials heavy details of men were engaged in the and high-ranking officers around forward task of burying the dead. The ambulance had areas.] just reached the neighborhood of the old Lamon apparently brought this letter, or stone bridge, where the dead were piled high- at least the news of this story, to Lincoln’s est, when Mr. Lincoln, suddenly slapping attention. Lincoln took the charge seriously Marshal Lamon on the knee, exclaimed: enough that he then drafted the following let- “Come, Lamon, give us that song about ter himself, which was to go out over Lam- Picayune Butler; McClellan has never heard on’s signature. To quote from the account in it.” the Collected Works: “According to Lamon “Not now, if you please,” said General (Recollections of Lincoln, pp. 144-49), Lin- McClellan, with a shudder; “I would prefer to coln wrote this memorandum ‘about the 12th hear it some other place and time.” of September, 1864,’ to be published, if nec- “This story has been repeated in the New essary, in refutation of a story widely dissemi- York ‘World’ almost daily for the last three nated by the Copperhead press. The memo- months. Until now it would have been use- randum was not, however, given to the news- less to demand its authority. By this article it papers.” The text of the memorandum was as limits the inquiry to three persons as its follows: authority, Marshal Lamon, another officer, The President has known me intimately and General McClellan. That it is a damaging for nearly twenty years, and has often heard story, if believed, cannot be disputed. That it me sing little ditties. The battle of Antietam is believed by some, or that they pretend to was fought on the 17th. day of September believe it, is evident by the accompanying 1862. On the first day of October, just two verse from the doggerel, in which allusion is weeks after the battle, the President, with made to it: some others including myself, started from ‘Abe may crack his jolly jokes Washington to visit the Army, reaching Harp- O’er bloody fields of stricken battle, er’s Ferry at noon of that day. In a short While yet the ebbing life-tide smokes while Gen. McClellan came from his Head From men that die like butchered cattle; Quarters near the battle ground, joined the He, ere yet the guns grow cold, President, and with him, reviewed, the troops To pimps and pets may crack his at Bolivar Heights that afternoon; and, at stories,’ etc. night, returned to his Head Quarters, leaving the President at Harper’s Ferry. On the morn- “I wish to ask you, sir, in behalf of oth- ing of the second, the President, with Gen. ers as well as myself, whether any such occur- Sumner, reviewed [Page 549] the troops rence took place; or if it did not take place, respectively at Loudon Heights and Mary- please to state who that ‘other officer’ was, if land Heights, and at about noon, started to there was any such, in the ambulance in Gen. McClellan’s Head Quarters, reaching

48 there only in time to see very little before ident was absent from Washington, nor even night. On the morning of the third all started grave that had not been rained on since it was on a review of the three corps, and the Caval- made. ry, in the vicinity of the Antietam battle ground. After getting through with Gen. Burn- WARD H LAMON sides Corps, at the suggestion of Gen. McClellan, he and the President left their The preceding may or may not exonerate horses to be led, and went into an ambulance Lincoln, depending upon which side of the or ambulances to go to Gen. Fitz John Mason-Dixon Line a person may be and how Porter’s Corps, which was two or three miles one chooses to interpret the matter. I’m cer- distant. I am not sure whether the President tain that those living at the time and who hat- and Gen. Mc. were in the same ambulance, ed Lincoln for whatever reasons believed or in different ones; but myself and some oth- every word of the story and reacted with glee ers were in the same with the President. On over the cartoon and the doggerel. Lincoln the way, and on no part of the battleground, might have been attempting to lighten the and on what suggestion I do not remember, mood slightly but, it would seem, at a time the President asked me to sing the little sad and place where no harm would be done. But song, that follows, which he had often heard undoubtedly those who believed (and me sing, and had always seemed to like very believe) the story Joe passed along would much. I sang them. After it was over, some refuse to give any credence to the above one of the party, (I do not think it was the account, their minds having already been President) asked me to sing something else; firmly made up and nothing would persuade and I sang two or three little comic things of them otherwise. which Picayune Butler was one. Porter’s Corps was reached and reviewed; then the battle ground was passed over, and the most noted parts examined; then, in succession the Cavalry, and Frank- lin’s Corps were reviewed, and the President and party returned to Gen. McClellan’s Head Quarters at the end of a very hard, hot, and dusty day’s work. Next day, the 4th. the Presi- dent and Gen. Mc. visited such of the wound- ed as still remained in the vicinity, including the now lamented Gen. Richardson; then pro- ceed[ed] to and examined the South-Moun- tain battle ground, at which point they parted, Gen. McClellan returning to his Camp, and the President returning to Washington, see- (Allen Pinkerton (bowler), Lincoln, Gen. George Mc ing, on the way, Gen Hartsuff, who lay Clernand. At Antietam) And that does it for this issue. With cer- wounded at Frederick Town. This is the tain holidays coming up and the next issue whole story of the singing and it’s [sic] sur- not appearing until sometime in January roundings. Neither Gen. McClellan or any 2012, I'll say: one else made any objection to the singing; the place was not on the battle field, the time Have a Good Thanksgiving, was sixteen days after the battle, no dead a Merry Christmas, body was seen during the whole time the pres- and a Happy New Year! 49