Flora Bowley and Alena Hennessy – On Intuition

Flora: Hi everybody! Welcome. I’m so excited to kick off our interview series with a dear friend of mine, Alena Hennessy, who is a fellow artist and teacher and painter, and an inspirationalist in many ways. So, welcome, Alena. So happy to have you hear. Yay!

Alena: Hi. Welcome. Thank you for having me.

Flora: So, Alena and I have had the pleasure of teaching at various retreats together and have both written books with the same publisher and have just sort have been moving along a parallel path in many ways. I chose Alena to talk with me about intuition because both of our work really, I would say, relies heavily on a deep connection to intuition and to our inner voice and an inner knowing, if you will.

So, I wanted to start out by asking Alena, when you think of... When you hear the word ‘intuition,’ in terms of how it relates to your art making process, what does that bring up for you, or what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Alena: Just trusting yourself and allowing yourself to stay loose and allowing surprises to happen. Allowing yourself to be surprised by the process of making, and almost like painting... You’re creating these guideposts for yourself that you kind of respond to... through the work. So the work... Maybe you have like a vision of it, maybe you have a feeling, but really being authentic and true to your mood that day, and just being surprised by what comes out and what is revealed to you through that process of painting.

Flora: Yeah, I love that. That’s awesome. I love the reminder that it’s different every day. You know, and that’s actually... I don’t know... For me that’s what keeps me coming back to the creative process of, like, year after year and week after week, is that there is... It never gets old because I think when you work – I’m sort of speaking for us because I know we have a similar way of approaching - but when you work in a way where you sort of let go of having to know what it’s going to be before you start, then you’re in this place of pure possibility for things, like you said, magical unexpected surprises happen. I don’t know... For me that is at the core essence of this whole process that we’re working with is like happy accidents and surprises and staying open. I think it comes down to staying open.

So, in the course right now, we’re in the first week. We’ve just been setting up our spaces and doing some first layers in a really spontaneous way and I’m curious, in your process, how do you approach like those very first layers.

Alena: Well, I love the elements of art, like color, line, texture, form, etc. And for me it’s all about color in the beginning. To me, color is my most enjoyable relationship. It’s the one that can express my mood the most true. And so it’s a real opportunity to explore color. I have certain relationships with color that I’m very loyal to and I get to also try new ways. It really is about the inner child phase when I start just spreading paint around and playing. And if you ever watch the way kids create art, they create on pure instinct and impulse, and to me that’s what’s so fun. Backgrounds are so fun because it’s like... That’s your chance to really play and let loose and start with hardly any expectation. Or really continue that intention of no expectation. So that way you’re really enjoying the process more and you’re not... You’re being gentle and easy on yourself. You’re allowing judgment to sort of pass through you and just allowing the pure spirit of the play. So, to me, it’s really starting kind of, like, right out the gates with that spirit of a child, through color, through movement and fluidity. Flora: Wow, that’s awesome. Yeah, I feel like for me the first layers are always the most enjoyable because there really is... There’s like nothing there yet, so there’s nothing to, you know, “worry about” or “ruin” like it’s just this like... It’s truly a blank canvas where anything can happen.

So I think one thing that I’d love to touch on is what happens after that first layer. Right? So it’s pretty easy, I think, for a lot of people to let go. In the course here we were, like, blind-folded painting and just total wild abandon, which is such an important thing to experience, you know? Like you were saying to experience what it feels like to create as a kid and to really feel instead of think.

I’m always trying to remind my students that you can get into the feeling place and even the sensuality of paint on canvas and how yummy that is. And if we can remember that aspect of painting that is often so lost because we can get so caught up on, What does it look like? and Where is it going? So all those things are super available to us, I think, in the first layers.

And so I think as we move out of those layers, I’m curious if you have any thoughts on how intuition continues to guide you as you start making... You know, it’s like this place between decision making and then following an intuition, so it’s always an interesting balance. And I feel like we both work in a process where we’re actually moving back and forth, between making commitments and moving things forward, but then staying in that really free place too. So, do you have any thoughts on that? I’m curious.

Alena: There’s something going on Facebook where it talks about the creative process and the first step is, I love it! I’m so excited. And then the second step is, Okay... Yeah, I still kind of like it. And then the third step is like, This sucks! And then you have to come back and accept it and then you love it again or you accept it or you learn something, you let go of something, and it was a process of discovery for you.

But one thing that I realize that I had to teach at my last workshop in person, was I kept kind of really intending... If I had only one rule it’s to not judge yourself and to really let this be a gift for yourself, and just going deep into that. And then I realized they were really kind of wavering and not being able to move forward past a certain place. And I said that is like that stuck head... That ugly stuck head was coming up, like, I don’t know where to go now. I was having so much fun and now I’m lost because... And I said to a few of the people, I said, “You know what? It’s time for you to commit to something. It’s time for you to make a decision and to make a commitment.” Just like in life, right?

And it’s different every time and you can’t really pinpoint and generalize and say this always gonna work. It’s really a mystery. And I think that’s why we love and we keep coming back to it. Sometimes it’s about kind of letting go. I call it ‘the big swoosh’ or ‘the big mess up.’ Like just kind of releasing that expectation of perfection. Like imperfectly imperfect as it is. But sometimes you also have to commit and say, okay I’m going for this. Like I’m starting to see this. These are the possibilities I have. Because it’s pure possibility, like you said, and it’s so beautiful.

And they are, like, Okay, I can go this way or this way. That’s how it is. It’s very abstract talking, but once you commit to this path, like maybe a certain area of the painting and you start committing to it, that beautiful refinement in life, right. So I kind of like thinking about it like the base of a pyramid by starting out really loose and then continue to kind of refine to this point where we committed to something. We may be surprised how it turned out, but we still were continuing to refine it. And that’s my process. It’s like really loose, loose and then I bring it, kind of, through these details in life. And that’s just how I like to do it. Especially through materials and the materials I work with kind of lend themselves anyway to that.

Flora: Right. Like the more fluid to more specific.

You know one thing that I’ve been seeing a lot of in my classes is that it’s important to make commitments, but while staying open to change. So it kind of gives you that freedom still because I think that sometimes when we think of the art-making process as linear from wild and free and, like, “Woooo!!!” to like tighter and tighter and tighter, that can cause stuck-ness, you know because you think your decisions have to get more and more important. And like, oh my god, this is really what we’re doing now?

And so one thing I always try and say is make those commitments but always stay... It’s like trying something on. You know, it’s like try on this pair of earrings and if you don’t like it then try on another pair of earrings. Like you’re still committing and then you’re committing again.

So, I don’t know, that has really been helpful, I think, in the process that I teach, just to say, “Yeah, make those choices, but know that they’re flexible and they’re open to change.”

Alena: Well, because it’s funny... One thing that just works for me every time with that middle phase or maybe towards the end I’m still not feeling the click yet – the click is very important and something that comes with practice – but it’s to just walk away and to give yourself a little space. To go outside for a little bit, to have some tea, get some air. And, I swear, the more dry it is, you come back and you go, ‘Oh’ and the little click comes back because we can really get in it and then we have to kind of break away again. And that space, that breathing room, helps allow that channel to come through again and flow freely. We can’t force the channel. Especially if you start to feel crunchy.

Flora: Absolutely.

Alena: So it’s kind of like a reset. You know?

Flora: Absolutely. I love that.

Yeah, in my class we’re always working on more than one painting at a time and that’s partly a logistical thing around drying time. Like, you just need time for the layers to dry. But there’s that whole other piece of the spaciousness and opening the channel that comes with perspective. Put it over there. Let it breathe. Let yourself breathe. And then come back to it.

Oh, that’s great. I’m glad you brought that forward.

So, I want to just change gears a little bit and just talk about intuition in terms of life off the canvas. So my experience is generally that it’s one of those – like this feedback loop, where if I’m really drawing on my intuition and trusting those body impulses or those things that maybe don’t come from a logical thinking mind place. The more I do that in my art making process, the easier it is when I step outside into my everyday life to... It’s like those muscles have been exercising and the information is more readily available. I think of intuition often as information. And so... I don’t know... I’m just curious how your experience is with your intuitive living.

Alena: I think it’s one of the gifts of growing older and caring less about what other people think about you, and maybe dictating to your life’s external resource. You know, external reaction and response and just kind of deepening that well for yourself. And it’s absolutely a practice.

For me it kind of is a body response sometimes, like in my gut or in my heart, or my solar plexus, my heart. It’s sometimes like a whispering just in my mind. Like, try this. Or I’ll literally sometimes... And I do readings.... I’ve been doing readings for 20 years so I’ll just hear something or I’ll like.... My partner and I the other day, we were at the beach and we were walking in the morning and I thought, “Oh, we’re gonna go to...” This is kind of totally not related but, I’m like, “Oh, the restaurant, Banya. That’s where we’ll be eating breakfast.” And we ended up in a restaurant called Banya. That doesn’t happen all the time. Okay? But you can apply that to more practical things in life too. And to me it’s like being true to yourself and learning what that is and that takes practice in life.

I have a lot of students say to me, “I’m so nervous about showing my work. I get sweaty palms when I share it on Facebook every time in my group.” And I remember what that felt like several years ago when I first started doing that.

I’d forgotten that’s what it was, but now because I’m so used to it and I’ve done it so many times, it’s like this natural thing. So it’s a practice. Right? Like riding a bicycle and all the sudden that balance just comes. It feels incredibly awkward at first. And then off you go.

Well it’s learning to listen to the right voices and maybe... Sometimes there’s a voice that we can feel that is intuition, that can actually be more of a voice from fear. You know, it could be more like, Be careful. And sometimes it’s true, so you have to really say, Okay, well that worked out really well for me when I listened to my gut with that. You know, it’s like taking note of, like, I reacted a little too strong. That was more of a reaction that I was having. That wasn’t really my intuition. That was coming from an insecure place or a place of fear, and I can see kind of how that turned out so I don’t want to do that again. So it’s taking stocking, taking note, right?

Painting is a metaphor for life. That’s why we love it. It really shows us so much. And it’s a meditative practice. It quiets our mind.

Flora: Thank you for all of that. And I thought a lot about this question of fear versus intuition and how to distinguish those voices. It’s a question that comes up I think a lot in the painting process too. And I think for me it’s a subtle vibrational difference between the two. Where if it’s really just an intuitive feeling it’s often a little quieter. It’s almost just this, like... You know? It’s not yelling. It’s not like, “Ahhhh! Don’t do this!” Or sometimes it is and that’s where you have to be on your toes, I guess.

But I feel like it comes in maybe just a moment. I love how you said “like a whisper.” You know it’s sort of like... And in the painting process for me it can just be about a color or an image or, you know, it’s time to turn the canvas upside down, or whatever it is. Like these little cues and in life I think it’s just... I had this idea the other day that intuition is always... It’s like this part of us that is our highest... It’s like in service of our highest good. Our intuition is this part of us that is always looking out for our highest good.

And our fear is not always that way. In fact, often our fear, unless it’s, you know, Don’t get hit by the bus, which is a really good fear to have. But those other fears that keep us back in life and keep us small. Those voices are not really in service of our highest good. They’re the ones that are like the gremlin voices that are just keeping us back.

So, I think it’s just interesting things to ponder. And I love that you said a few times that it’s a practice. And like anything it just takes time. And the more you focus on it, the easier it is to become... And the more you sort of... I mean, I don’t want to say, make a mistake because it all kind of ends up... Mistakes can often be like our biggest lessons in disguise, but the more we learn about those voices and become able to distinguish what is really motivating the voice, I think it’s something that serves us in life and in the painting process. Absolutely. Let’s see... What else do we want to chat about? I think there’s something in our work that the word ‘sacred’ comes to mind. Just when I think of the parallel between how you approach creativity and how I approach creativity. It’s something I think that we really connect on.

I know my students this last week have been setting up their studios and creating intentions and setting up... You know, I just try to encourage them to make the space that they’re painting in a place that feels really special, whether that’s a wild messy space or a place with candles and pillows or some combination of that.

I love to think of moving into the art making experience as sort of stepping through a different threshold. You know, it’s not our everyday life when we’re making art. It’s like this sacred practice. I think of it again as a practice.

So, do you have any thoughts you want to add to just that idea of creativity as a sacred practice?

Alena: Yes. I feel like I do my best work and I feel the most connected when I allow myself to be a channel to what wants to move through me to move through me, when I get out of my own way and allow the sacred. That’s one way to describe it. The Divine force of life itself, just creativity is that life force. It’s creating life.

So, just kind of getting out of my own way and allowing that to move through me. And sometimes it is revealed to me through my intention, through my dream work, through my soul longing and what I am – what my deeper part of myself – is wishing for. And just to making the, like Picasso said, “making the imaginary real,” painting your dream into life.

I really feel that holds a vibration to it. And it’s a meditative act. It’s a time to quiet your mind and be still within yourself. That’s what I love. It really kind of puts me into my being and it puts me into this timeless space. It feels sacred. It feels like sacred time.

And I remember when I was younger, I had a teacher that I was working for and she was a Shamanic Priestess, and I’d watch her kids a lot. And she said to me... I said to her, “You know, sometimes I wonder if art is a narcissistic act. It seems so self-serving.” Right? And, because she had a book, I think, that was sort of related to that or something. And it was talking about how different cultures create and how their work is a lot more about the impermanence of life or, you know, just letting it go.” And she said, “Absolutely not! You’re honoring what you’ve been given in this life.”

And that really made an impact on me. It’s like honoring life, honoring that we’re alive through this... that which does not always have words. You know, that which cannot always be expressed through words. And then you and I, we also – another parallel – we like to maybe put... Like you have “beautiful,” “choose love,” and I’ve been working with “beholding joy” lately. It’s just been coming through me. I cannot tell you through my rational mind why I say “behold joy,” why that’s coming through me.

I’ve done two paintings and it just came through me. I didn’t even think about it. So, that to me is the magic that is sacred in that magical realm which we can’t always rationally or analytically explain. And we need that as humans, because we live in such a rational, analytical, and comparative world where everything’s been filtered through that part of our brain. So that’s allowing that other part of ourselves to come through and shine.

Flora: Oh, that’s so beautiful. Yeah, I think it also takes the pressure off. If you think of what your teacher said, that it’s honoring the gifts that we were given, it takes the pressure off whatever it is that we’re making having to be whatever, beautiful, or, you know, this product sort of oriented way of thinking about it. And if we’re just able to step into this practice and it’s like an offering. I love to think of it as an offering. And like letting things, like you said, flow through. And in that way, what a beautiful act, no matter what the thing is looking like at the end. Because you can always, especially working in layers, you just keep working until eventually you have those clicking moments. But I think it just takes this product-driven pressure off when we can just think of what we’re doing as a gift to the world and really truly a gift to ourselves. It’s such a beautiful offering to ourselves.

Alena: Right. And to honor beauty. To me, I love honoring beauty. I love honoring that which is beautiful. We all have our different ways of expressing beauty or what we find beautiful. Maybe we’re not feeling that way. But, that’s still beautiful to me because it’s being true.

And so, to me, when I look outside to the natural world and the Creator has created the most perfect creation. So in any way I can do to express through my own little world. I looked at this thing online this morning and it’s like we are like a speck on a speck on a speck on a speck. I mean, we can’t... We’re not even, like our existence with the universe, it’s unreal, it’s mind boggling. You know? So, I love that it’s an offering to being alive. And, like Carl Sagan, said, each one of us has the cosmos in us. We are a way to reflect that, that infinite mystery.

So, anyway, I’m getting on a tangent here. That’s a way to offer this mystery, to reflect back this mystery. Painting is infinite that way and, like you said, everyday it’s a new day. It’s a new way. There’s always a possibility.

Flora: I was going to dive into this conversation of how to move through stuck-ness and all this stuff and I think we just talked about that. I think we just talked about that through seeing the creative process as this much bigger thing than just what the thing is on the canvas or on the paper. So I’m just going to leave it at that. I really loved that last bit.

So, I just want to share with all my students that Alena also has an amazing online class called “A Year of Painting” and she teaches lots of different techniques and approaches. So if you’re looking for another way to explore, I totally recommend it.

And she also has two books now. One is a new one called “The Painting Workshop.” And that one kind of goes along with your course, I think, right? The Year of Painting?

Alena: Yeah, they’re kind of related.

Flora: And then her book that came out around the same time my book came out, is called “Cultivating a Creative Life,” which is just a beautiful, beautiful book that sort of speaks to the magic of creativity and how it relates to living.

So, I love what you’re up to and thank you so much for spending some time with us today. And thank you all for listening. And we’ll just sign off there.

Thanks so much!

Alena: Thank you. Thank you, Flora. Bye.