Try our free wireless internet access

Katz’s Caters: 47-CATER OPEN ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. SINCE 1979 www.KatzNeverKloses.com Scientists Discover, Best Sandwich In Austin—New Yorkers Outraged! Defensless scientists accosted over roll in “Sanwich-Gate” Expensive Ad AUSTIN- “Look, science is about facts,” said Jerry Bonano. “I mean look at me, I’m a meatball...a goom- bah...but facts are facts. Katz’s Deli in Austin makes a better pastrami sandwich than anyone else in the country. I mean it was hard to accept Evolution. But Evolution is a fact. Global Warming is a fact. And Marc Katz’s pastrami sandwich is a fact.”

Doctors released Dr. Bonano after treating bruises and lacerations and supplying him with a wig so he could make it to the number 7 Express on the New Haven line. The two New Yorkers under arrest haven’t been identified yet.

Fruit Salad 5.75 LUNCH SPECIAL Appertizers, Soups & Salads Served with pecans (includes soft drink or iced tea.) Garden Salad 5.35 Potato Skins (6) 7.25 Jalapeño Cream Served all day. Served with crispy beef bacon, shred- Cheese Bites 7.50 Caesar Salad 5.35 Not available on holidays. (Lunch specials ded cheddar, topped with chives, Deli Salad Platters 9.75 excludes klubs, heroes, & burgers) with a side of sour cream. Homemade Chopped Chicken Your choice of (2)—fresh chunky Liver with Horse Raddish 6.99 Substitute chicken breast for bacon 1.75 chicken salad, farm-fresh egg salad, Half Sandwich & Cup of Soup With toasted . fresh homemade chopped chicken 7 . 9 5 Stuffed Derma (Kishke) 7.50 liver or fresh white albacore Smoked Nova Scotia Soup & Salad Combo salad (dolphin-safe). Served with let- Fried Pickles Salmon 7.99 tuce, tomato, potato salad, cole slow, Cup of soup and With toasted . garden or Caesar salad with Ranch Dressing 7.95 and hard-boiled egg crumbles. 7.50 Appetizer Sampler 9.95 Buffalo Wings (8) 7.25 Tavern on the Green Festival Three fried pickles, three jalapeno With bleu cheese 9.95 bites, two potato skins, Fresh turkey breast, turkey ham, and two buffalo wings. Stuffed Cabbage (2) 6.95 salami, roast beef Swiss cheese, to- Homemade Soups Beet mato, and hard-boiled egg on a bed Mon. Vegetarian Split Pea. Sliders 8.25 Chilled vegitarian beet soup with po- of lettuce. Tues. Broccoli & Cheese. Four ground sirloin mini burgers tato, chives & topped with sour cream. with lettuce and tomato and a side Buffalo Chicken Salad 9.95 Wed. Baked Potato—Topped Cup 2.99 Bowl 4.25 of Katz’s fresh cut fries. Chicken fingers tossed in buffalo with cheddar & chives. Add cheese .75 Award Winning Ball Soup sauce with bleu cheese crumbles. Thurs. Vegetarian Mushroom. Served with egg . Fri. Barley New England Park Avenue Spinach Cup 2.99 Bowl 4.25 Deli Grilled Clam Chowder. & Artichoke Dip 6.99 Chicken Caesar Salad 9.95 Served with chips Sat. Hearty Fresh Garde n Salads Blackened Chicken Vegetable. Caesar Salad 9.95 Sun. French Onion Soup Tripple Bypass 10.95 Choice of dressings—Russian, with tomatoes au gratin. Bed of fresh cut fries topped with ranch, low fat ranch, oil and vin- philly meat, sauteéd mushrooms, egar, bleu cheese, fat free sun dried Cup 2.99 Bowl 4.25 Katz’s Kobb Salad 10.45 green peppers, fire dog, queso, sau- tomato vinaigrette, honey , Chicken breast, avocado, beef bacon, teéd onions andchives. Caesar, golden Italian. tomatoes, croutons, bleu cheese crum- Add jalapenos .50 Add a scoop of tuna or chicken salad 3.50 bles, and cucumbers on romaine. Katz’s World Famous Sandwiches Overstuffed Sandwiches Sandwich Made Me Rude! Sandwiches are served on freshly baked Jewish rye, German Customers Claim Katz’s Pastrami Sandwiches , French, whole wheat, or sourdough. Are So New Yorky, They Acted Rude Classic New Yorker Salami To People After Eating Them. Roast Beef 8.95 12.95 AUSTIN—Clara Henry of New crowded and competitive. I said to 9.50 12.95 Hard Salami Braunfels told reporters “Katz’s pas- my husband ‘What are YOU looking 8.95 12.95 trami sandwich is just crazy good. I at?’ I mean I can’t explain it but he Hot New York could taste old New York in it. I was was looking at me and it kind of irri- 9.50 12.95 Beef Tongue transformed back to the 50s when tated me. I even turned on a Yankee Hot Pastrami 9.95 13.95 New York started getting really game and I’m from Atlanta. After about an hour it wore and I was my- 9.50 12.95 Fresh Chunky Chicken Salad 8.95 12.95 self again.” French Dip 9.95 13.95 Fresh Egg Salad Customers said they would not stop 7.95 11.95 ordering the pastrami sandwich de- Turkey Ham, Cheese, spite its effects on some people. “I Lettuce & Tomato Grilled Chicken Hero 8.95 N/A don’t mind the way it makes me in- 8.95 12.75 your-face. I mean Austinites can be Oven Roasted Golden Turkey Fresh Grilled Salmon Hero too polite sometimes,” one anony- Breast 10.45 N/A mous customer said. “Now, I an- 8.95 12.95 Beef Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato swered your question so get outta my face,” he said tucking back into Fresh White Albacore 7.95 11.95 his Katz’s pastrami sandwich. Tuna Salad 8.95 12.95 Dolphin-safe Marc’s Picks Grilled Cheese Daily Sandwich Specials served with Katz’s fresh cut fries 6.45 N/A Swiss, Muenster, American, jalap- MONDAY eno, provolone or cheddar Half-Pound Beef Bacon- FPO Wrapped Sirloin Filet 8.95 Fresh Homemade Chopped With baked potato & veggie med- Chicken Liver ley 9.50 13.50 TUESDAY US Prime Beef Yankee Pot FPO Katz’s Award Winning Burgers Roast

Complimentary sauteed onions or mushrooms on request. 10.50 All burgers served with choice of cheese-stuffed potato or Served with (2) sides fresh cut fries. WEDNESDAY makes one pound) with lettuce, to- The Super-Sized Kosher-Style The Late Night Burger 9.75 The mack Brown ½ lb. US prime burger, served with mato, cheddar cheese, beef bacon, Klub 9.95 Weekend Specials All Day Satur- lettuce, tomato, cheddar cheese, beef red onion, and fried pickles day & Sunday bacon and fried egg Choice of turkey, chicken salad or The Brooklyn Deli Patty Melt 8.75 deli burger with beef bacon, let- Katz’s Kahuna Burger 9.50 ½ lb. US prime burger, served on tuce, tomato and Russian dressing Corned Beef Hash and Eggs ½ lb. US prime burger, served with grilled Jewish rye with lettuce, to- 9.95 lettuce, Muenster cheese, turkey mato and melted American cheese THURSDAY Served with your choice of baked ham and grilled pineapple French Dip Sandwich good South of the Border Burger 9.75 9.95 Deli Burger 8.25 ½ lb. US prime burger, served with Tender prime roast beef served hot Yankee Pot Roast Sandwich ½ lb. US prime burger, served with jalapeno jack cheese, avocado slices with melted provolone cheese on lettuce and tomato and freshly made pico de gallo warm French bread with au jus 10.50 Our famous US prime beef Yan- FRIDAY kee pot roast with melted Muen- Katz’s High Rise Burger 13.95 World-Famous Reuben Two ½ lb. US prime patties (that ster cheese and sautéed onions on 10.50 grilled Jewish rye bread What? So it’s not enough? Try some of our delicious extra’s Extra Patty 2.95 Jalapeños .75 Cucumbers .75 Beef Bacon 2.00 Cheese: .75 Cream Cheese .75 Tomato .75 Swiss, muenster, american, provo- Grilled Pineapple .75 Avocado 1.75 lone, cheddar or jalapeño jack Classic Deli Sandwiches Please order by number.

Ad for Katz FPO Catering

1. Katz’s Pride 10. Grilled Salami & Cream 10.50 13.95 Cheese Corned beef, Russian dressing and 9.50 13.50 cole slaw Jesus’s Face 11. Grilled Turkey Ham & Swiss Cheese Appears On A Lad- 2. The Reuben 8.50 12.50 10.50 13.95 ke At Katz’s 12. Grilled American Cheese, Our trademark. Your choice of corned The image of Jesus Ramirez, a Cali- beef, pastrami, turkey pastrami or Beef Bacon & Tomato 8.50 12.50 fornia real estate agent who visited turkey breast with melted Swiss Katz’s has appeared on a Hanukah cheese, sauerkraut and Russian dress- 13. The Jody Conradt ladke ordered by a Samuel Epworth ing. Served on grilled Jewish rye 10.50 13.95 Jr of LaGrange. bread. Triple decker – turkey breast, beef bacon, lettuce, tomato and Russian “I remebmber this guy because he 3. The Rick Barnes dressing gave me his business card and it had 10.50 13.95 his face on it and sure enough, that’s Corned beef and pastrami 14.Kosher-Style Chicken Salad him…Jesus.” Mr. Ramirez would not Klub respond to our calls. 4. Corned Beef, 10.50 13.95 Pastrami & Turkey With beef bacon, lettuce, tomato and 10.50 13.95 Russian dressing. 5. Corned Beef, Pastrami, Egg Salad & Bermuda Onion 15. Yankee Pot Roast 10.50 13.95 10.50 13.95 Our famous US prime beef Yankee 6.Grilled 3 Cheese Supreme with pot roast with melted Muenster Tomato cheese and sautéed onions on grilled 7.95 N/A Jewish rye Add a fire dog 1.25 Ad or 2 for 16.Vegetarian Hero 8.95 Sale? 7.“East Meets West” Grilled 12.95 Salami & Jalapeno Cheese Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, purple 9.50 13.50 onion, green pepper, cream cheese Or another 8. Philly Cheese Steak and fresh vegetable medley; served 10.50 13.95 open faced article and Served with green peppers, sautéed onions and melted provolone. 17.Veggie Reuben 9.50 picture 13.50 9. Turkey, Russian Dressing & Avocado, sauerkraut and melted Cole Slaw Swiss cheese on grilled Jewish rye 10.50 13.95 bread

17% Gratuity will be included for parties of six or greater. Personal checks are not accepted at Katz’s East Sides What’s Your Problem? Have Dinner! Marc’s Creamed Spinach 4.50 Potato with Gravy 4.25 Potato Pancakes (4) 6.75 With (2) sides Vegetarian Baked Beans 3.25 From The Grill Applesauce 2.75 Half-Pound Beef Bacon-Wrapped Links-n-Beans 7.95 Corned Beef & Cabbage with French Fries 2.99 US Prime Sirloin Filet 11.50 Your choice of (2) – knockwurst, fire Boiled Potato 10.95 With (2) sides dog, franks topped with sauerkraut Boiled Potato 2.99 and served with vegetarian baked Hot Open Roast Beef Potato Pancake 2.99 Fresh Grilled Salmon 12.50 beans. Sandwich 10.95 Cup of Soup 2.99 With (2) sides Add bun .50 With (2) sides Potato Salad 2.99 Kosher-Style Knockwurst 4.50 Katz’s Pick Three 9.75 Your choice of any (3) sides Hot Open Turkey Sauerkraut 2.99 With sauerkraut or sautéed onions Sandwich 10.95 on a bun. Vegetable Medley With (2) sides of the Day 3.95 Add relish .35 Chicken in a Pot 10.95 Stock pot with award-winning con- Caesar Salad 5.35 sommé, noodles, matzo ball, fresh veg- Roast Sirloin of Beef 10.95 Fire Dog 4.50 With (2) sides Cheese Stuffed Potato 3.50 With sauerkraut or sautéed onions etables, ¼ chicken and boiled potato on a bun. Fruit Salad 5.75 ½ Roast Chicken Add relish .35 Golden Roast Turkey Breast & Garden Salad 5.35 Dressing 10.95 & Dressing 10.95 With (2) sides Hash Brown Potatoes 2.99 Kosher-Style 4.50 With (2) sides With sauerkraut or sautéed onions Sour Cream .95 on a bun. 3 Stuffed Cabbages 10.95 Yankee Pot Roast 10.95 With (2) sides Add relish .35 With (2) sides Market District Vegetarian Specialties Veggie Omelette 11.75 No Horse … Egg whites can be substituted on re- “Actually There Is No Horse quest. At All In ,” Marc Katz Explained To Investiga- Potato Knish (without gravy) tive Reporters. 4.25 AUSTIN—“There isn’t. And why FPO Beet Borscht these meshuginas even called it Chilled vegetarian beet soup with horseradish, vas pasirn aher?” (Yid- potato, chives and topped with sour dish for “What’s going on here?”). cream.

“The fact is,” Katz explains, “Horse- Cup 2.99 Bowl 4.25 radish is the root of a plant that when grated or cut releases enzymes that Marc’s Creamed Spinach 4.50 make your eyes water. Let me tell Spinach Artichoke Dip 6.99 you what makes your eyes water … a With bagel chips. horseradish so good you squint and Low Karb Klassics you think you’re looking at 57th Street, and you think about the good Katz’s Buffalo Wings 7.25 loin steak fillet topped with melted old days in New York. And believe Eight delicious wings served with cheese. Vegetarian me, our horseradish will make your bleu cheese dressing and celery eyes water thinking about old New Half-Pound Freshly Ground US Sandwiches York even if you’re from Alabama. Katz’s Low Karb Reuben 13.95 Prime Beef Burger Patty 6. Grilled 3 Cheese Supreme Hot corned beef with melted Swiss, 9.50 with Tomato We make our own horseradish sauce sauerkraut and Russian dressing A.P.D. Chicken Dinner 9.95 7.95 12.95 right here in Katz’s everyday. This without the bread A grilled chicken breast with Cajun is the real stuff, not that preserved #16. Vegetarian Hero spices topped with sautéed mush- bottled goop. Katz’s horseradish is **Or try any of our Klassic Deli Sand- 8.95 12.95 rooms, onions, green peppers and ja- the best and don’t forget it.” wiches without the bread** Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, purple lapeno cheese. Served with a veggie onion, green pepper, cream cheese Choose any (2) of our Klassic and garden salad. and fresh vegetable medley Available New York Deli Meats 9.95 We’ll serve it with cheese, lettuce, N.Y.P.D. Chicken Dinner 9.95 #17. Veggie Reuben any time tomatoes and cole slaw. Choose A grilled chicken breast topped with 9.50 13.50 from Corned beef, pastrami, turkey sautéed mushrooms, onions, green Avocado, sauerkraut and melted Light Diet Lunches 7.50 breast, turkey pastrami, NY salami, peppers and melted Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese on grilled Jewish rye Have our delicious garden salad hard salami, roast beef, Yankee pot Served with a veggie and garden bread with a scoop of chicken salad or roast, turkey ham or beef bacon. salad. tuna salad. We’ll forget to put on Fresh Egg Salad the croutons. Steak and Cheese Platter 9.50 Freshly Grilled Salmon 12.50 7.95 11.95 Half-pound beef bacon-wrapped sir- Try it with Cajun spices. “Enough with the , Already” Employees Complain That Deli Owner Marc Katz Of Katz’s Deli Insists They Only Speak Yid- dish In The Kitchen AUSTIN—“I moved here from Mis- taking one dead language: Latin,” “Listen,” Katz told reporters in a souri to attend UT and I got a job she complained. statement Friday. “People want a waiting tables just to supplement real new York Deli experience and I my income,” said Sally Keely. “Now “I mean I can barely speak English,” intend to deliver it. Now stop both- I have to learn how to make Kosher said Alberto Rodriques, a busboy ering me I am making the horserad- style New York food and speak a lan- recently hired by Katz’s who just ish from scratch, you schmendrick.” guage that is basically only spoken moved to Austin from his native by old Jewish people. I’m already Mexico City. The Sweet side of New York Katz’s Key Lime Pie 5.95 Cold, tart – like a New York wait- Dessert Fixings ress. A la Mode 1.49 Rice Pudding 4.50 Banana .99 Served warm with strawberry sauce Hot Blueberry Sauce 1.49 —a Jewish aphrodisiac. FPO Pecan Pieces .79 Blintzes (served with nuts) Pineapple .99 Cheese blintzes topped with your Fresh Strawberries 1.49 choice of apple, blueberry or hot fudge. Strawberry Sauce 1.49 Hot Fudge or Caramel .49 Half Order (2) 4.50

Whole Order (4) 6.99 Katz’s Klassic Nikki Kat’s Turtle Cheese Cake Shake 7.50 9.25 A whole slice of cheese cake blended Premium Milk Shakes & Malts Desserts Slice of cheesecake covered in cara- with vanilla, chocolate or strawberry 5.25 Jumbo Hot Fudge Sundae 4.99 mel and hot fudge topped with ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry Vanilla ice cream layered with hot whipped cream and pecans fudge and topped with whipped Do not attempt to operate a vehicle Strawberry Therapy 4.75 cream, nuts and a cherry. Banana Split 6.25 under the influence of this milkshake. Fresh strawberries topped with hot Katz’s Deli and Bar assumes no responsi- fudge and whipped cream. Our over- Carrot Cake 5.95 bility for addiction to this product. the-counter remedy for emotional Spiced cake with crushed pineapple, “A slice of cake in every shake!” distress and minor ailments. pistachios, cream cheese icing and enough grated carrots to make this Briggs’s Brownie Boat 6.25 dessert the centerpiece of a balanced Our boat carries precious cargo – diet. a warm brownie loaded with hot fudge, whipped cream and a scoop of Death by Chocolate 5.95 chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Be- Dangerously rich white and dark ware of pirates – that guy over there chocolate mousse cake. Don’t say we Ad for Sale? is eyeing your treasure. didn’t warn you! Carnegie Deli Desserts Cheese Cake This is the grandfather of all cheese cakes. Each slice is 1 lb. of heaven. We highly recommend you share.

Original or Chocolate 7.50 Towering Chocolate FPO Cake 8.50 Lemon Berry Mascarpone Ad for Sale? Cake 6.25

17% Gratuity will be included for parties of six or greater. Personal checks are not accepted at Katz’s Breakfast. Yeah! It’s served anytime. Gourmet Breakfast Specials Two Extra Large Eggs 5.99 Katz’s Eggs Benedict 5.95 Served with potato pancake and English muffin with creamed spin- choice of one fresh baked good. ach, poached eggs, and turkey ham.

Scrambled Eggs with & On- Buttermilk Pancakes (3) ions 11.95 5.95 Served with potato pancake and Add pecans, fresh bananas or fresh choice of one fresh baked good. strawberries for .50

Corned Beef Hash and Eggs 9.95 Fresh Fruit Salad with Citrus Katz’s world-famous, served with Sauce 5.75 two eggs and choice of one fresh Served with pecans baked good. Bagel Bundle 4.95 Sourdough French Toast 7.50 Melted Swiss cheese, grilled turkey Kosher-Style Tacos (3) 5.95 ham and one egg on a freshly toasted bagel. tortillas filled with egg, Ko- Katz=Lottery Luck? sher-style salami, fire dog and po- Big Business Breakfast 6.45 10% Of Lottery Grand Prize Winners Have Either Eaten At tato pancake. (Mon-Fri 4 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.) Katz’s, Or Heard About It, Or Know Someone Named Katz. (.75 for each additional item) Two eggs, potato pancake, choice of beef bacon, breakfast sausage, pas- AUSTIN—The study conducted by thing to do with the pastrami sand- *Steak & Eggs 11.95 trami, fire dog, turkey ham or sala- amateur pollsters in Austin found wich and one group that claims it’s Half-pound beef bacon-wrapped sir- mi, fresh-brewed coffee and choice of some substance behind the notion the fact that Katz’s is the Home of loin filet with two extra large eggs. one fresh baked good. that eating at Katz’s Deli at 3 AM im- the Yankees, the most winning team Served with potato pancake and bues one with luck. Though the vast in all of baseball, and that Yankee choice of one fresh baked good. Not available on holidays. majority of winners only connection luck somehow ‘rubs off’ on custom- with the luck rumor was that they ers. knew someone named Katz, this still does not pour cold water on the pos- “Nonsense,” says Marc Katz, owner. sibility that eating at Katz’s late night “The pastrami has nothing to do is a very lucky thing to do. It could be with it. I think it’s the Yankees. Look a good way to prepare for something at me. I am now on my fifth wife. like a lottery scratch off game or bet- And they all still love me. We’ve been ting online on a cage fight. in business through seven presidents and five wars and we still make the There are two groups – those propo- best deli style food in the country. FPO nents that claim that it has some- Tell me I’m not lucky,” he added. Fresh Baked Goods Toasted Bagel with Butter 2.25 Half Order (2) 4.50

Fresh , baked daily Whole Order (4) 6.99 Marc’s Picks Plain, or everything Build your own unique omlet with our quality ingredients With Regular or Low Fat Cream Bagel with Lox Build Your Own Omelette Fillers Cheese add .60 Sliced Nova Scotia 10.99 Meat served with lettuce, tomato, Bermu- Start with three fresh eggs, then English Muffin 1.50 da onion and cream cheese. Capers add any (3) fillers of your choice. Turkey ham, beef bacon, breakfast sausage, salami, pastrami, fire dog, Toast .99 available upon request. Served with a potato pancake and your chicken liver Whole wheat, challah, sourdough, choice of one fresh baked good. Egg Jewish rye or German pumpernickel whites can be substituted on request. Cheese Swiss, American, cheddar, pro- Katz’s Kolossal Roll volone, jalapeno jack, Muenster, Served warm with cream cheese ic- cream cheese ing.

1.95 additional as your fresh baked good Veggies Mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, selection FPO avocados, green peppers, veggie Blintzes medley, creamed spinach Cheese blintzes topped with your choice of apple, blueberry or hot Add .75 for each additional item. fudge. Contains nuts. A la Carte Side of Corned Beef Hash 4.95 Breakfast Sausage 2.95 Beef Bacon 2.95 Turkey Ham 2.95 Pastrami 2.95 Salami Article about 2.95 Fire Dog 2.95 how Katz pre- Potato Pancake 2.99 pares ever- Boiled Potato 2.99 thing fresh... One Buttermilk Pancake 2.75 Cup of Fruit 2.95 (served with pecans)

One Egg 1.25

Drinks Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice 3.50 Katz’s Not Haunted—Yet Milk 2.25 Marc Katz Dissapointed few ghosts around here and maybe attract one of those TV crews where Whole or skim Katz’s Deli Is Actually NOT Built On Sacred Indian Burial they measure the presence of ghosts Juices 2.50 while their huge crew orders a 40 Tomato. Apple, pineapple, cran- Ground. person lunch. That’s what I’m talking about.” berry and grapefruit AUSTIN—“I don’t get it,” Katz told reporters. “Every time you turn on Not to be discouraged, Marc Katz has Mimosa Carafe 15.00 the TV, some fachockta ghost is at- other ideas of attracting TV prouc- tracting customers to some dive in tion crews in for breakfast. “There’s Mississippi. Here’s my business that a kid working in the kitchen who once had horses parked out front, mixed orders up all Friday night and Classic Deli Omelettes and no Indian Burial Ground. What I think I am definitely going to kill Served with potato pan- gives? Let me tell you, I could use a him. Maybe he’ll haunt the place.” cake and choice of one fresh baked good.

Nova Scotia Salmon & Onion Omelette 11.95 Cheese Steak Omelette 11.95 Ad for Sale? Veggie Omelette 11.75

Ad for Sale?

17% Gratuity will be included for parties of six or greater. Personal checks are not accepted at Katz’s