The Guardian | Saturday July 1 2006 5 rld Cup

How to tell who Scolari preaches rest and relaxation is in charge It’s all going Sven’s way

tournament target and, having achieved Scolari has proved himself a top Today, though, will be about more than ≥ Offers pleasant wave to vocal Portugal’s coach takes the that, they will not be burdened with the by winning the 2002 World Cup with enjoyment. “You have to put fire in your section of English support pressure off his players degree of pressure that accompanies Eng- Brazil and leading Portugal to the final of belly,” Scolari said. “If we talk about the land into the match. The face Scolari pre- the European Championship two years English fighting spirit and the Portuguese ≥ Smiles politely at remark by fourth with a message to keep sented after training was the one he wants later, and at every turn has sought to re- fighting spirit, it is going to be an emo- official calm, reports Jon Brodkin from his team — animated, jovial, full of lax his team. He played down the absence tional game and a tight game.” self-belief but also determined. of the suspended and , said Scolari insisted ≥ Big Phil seen prowling the edge of “We’re more confident, more cheerful, he expected nothing more from his squad, would need a late test on a thigh problem his technical area, whistling at Portugal’s players have woken early all more ready because we’ve already and spelled out his message. “I am going but the feeling is that the Manchester players and making angry week but Sven-Goran Eriksson will be dis- reached that stage we imagined we could to work with the players, speak to them United winger will play and that his ab- tug-of-war-style gestures mayed to learn that worry at the thought get to and got ourselves into the best and tell them to enjoy playing against a sence from training was principally a mind of facing England this afternoon is not the eight,” the Brazilian said. His message to nice team like England; to enjoy being in game with England. There were no at- ≥ Sammy Lee shown reason. At 7.49am each morning the bell supporters was revealing: “We ask the the eight best teams in the world,” he said. tempts by Scolari to hide his coaching leaping off the bench and of the 12th-century monastery next to fans to enjoy themselves whoever wins. “I’ll tell them: ‘Enjoy the quarter-final and principles. “I am a coach who likes re- clapping his hands like a Portugal’s hotel begins chiming for just This team are already victors. To be have fun with it and have pleasure’.” sults,” he said. “I am not a liar who says seal with a bucket of fish over 10 minutes. “The players hear the among the eight best is spectacular. Sun, Scolari leaves the impression of a man that I am going to win prettily, play beau- bell from 7.49 until eight o’clock,” Luiz shorts, to be able to take a beer after the in total command and said “the spirit of tifully. I want results. England have got re- ≥ Celebrates crucial moment with Felipe Scolari said. “They have to carry on game. What more do you want?” the team is to accept everything I say”. sults and so have Portugal. Those who clenched fist followed by smoothing listening to the bell until eight. There is Scolari was also happy to talk about the Asked why he has been so successful he played beautifully have gone home.” of hair and calm stroll back to dugout no problem for anyone.” Football Association’s bungled attempt to identified as the main reason the fact that The 57-year-old emphasised, though, Scolari laughed as he told the story, and enlist him as Eriksson’s successor and he tends to be popular. “I am a happy per- that he wants “fair play, with friendship, ≥ Stares into middle distance while when the coach joked about helicopters hinted that it was only the FA’s haste that son,” he said, “and 99% of the places I affection” today against what he des- Steve McClaren talks very quickly coming from a nearby British army base had prevented him taking the job. “I have have been, the people like me.” cribed as a better England team than the into his ear to try — unsuccessfully — to disturb his been very proud about the proposal of the one he defeated in a Euro 2004 quarter- team’s sleep it confirmed the relaxed air English FA but the timing was not cor- final. That victory added to his triumph ≥ Back of Big Phil’s head bobs up and around Portugal’s camp yesterday. Nuns, rect,” Scolari said. “After July 31, I am a ‘We ask the fans to enjoy over England and Eriksson at the 2002 down in the bottom corner of your monks and Portugal supporters have been free man. I have some ideals in my life and themselves whoever World Cup with Brazil, and Scolari has TV screen throughout second half among those mingling in the complex that I try to show those to my players, so I can- more than one treble in mind. “If we go Scolari and his squad are using here, and not break them. In the future, who wins. This team are through, I think this will be one of the ≥ John Motson says: “The man who it promises to be a calm side that England knows? If the English FA comes with an- already victors’ three biggest achievements in my career,” said no to England says auf meet in Gelsenkirchen. other proposal probably we can speak and he said. He expects it to be Eriksson for wiedersehen to the FIFA World Cup A quarter-final place was Portugal’s pre- we can deal but this is for the future.” whom the bell tolls today. in Gelsenkirchen!”

Beliefs Relies on favourite light brown shoes and navy blue blazer. Always carries comb and spectacle case. Insists on loading dishwasher even while entertaining at home

It’s all going Big Phil’s way

≥ Lingering close-up emphasises beefy, cowboy-style good looks

≥ Moves menacingly towards touchline and does brief bout of pointing

≥ High fives Deco. Embraces Costinha. Bear-hugs physio

≥ Sven seen staring straight ahead while Steve McClaren speaks very quickly into his ear

≥ Big Phil single-handedly defuses 20-man ruck involving players, officials and Ray Clemence

≥ Substitution of Luis Figo greeted with affectionate bear-hug rather than glare and stomp down tunnel

≥ Loosens collar and stares calmly into middle distance at final whistle

≥ Commentator says, “Shizuoka, , Gelsenkirchen — the curse of Big Phil Scolari is alive and well in Germany has an eye on the big prize but told his players and Portugal supporters that enjoying themselves was most important Phil Cole/Getty Images 2006” History may be bunk but, dammit, they owe us Beliefs Always carries with him two 30cm high china statuettes of his favourite Madonnas, bring up the Moor conquest? In this But so it is that today, in a game which As Sun Tzu probably said: “He will Our Lady Of Fatima and Our most martially sensitive of World Cups, once again reminds us that real life is win who knows when to stop acting like Lady Of Caravaggio. Also tact certainly demands we leave the merely the punchline to an absurd joke, a protocol droid.” And as we now all keeps his own shrine at Visigoths out of it). In fact, the history of Big Phil will square up to a manager know, the old Eriksson is dead. Wreaths home Portugal in the few centuries before its twice as sane and one tenth as endearing should be sent to his unworldly agent stabilising Carnation Revolution in 1974 as him, backed up by those whom we are Athole Still. Press conferences which was perhaps better characterised by a required to style his Portuguese Men’o’ until a few days ago appeared to be some Omens certain nostalgia for past glories, bitter War. Needless to say, Scolari’s kind of transmission filler now thrill to Marina Hyde factionalism, several crises of succession preparations have involved the sounds of a man who has found his • The only other time England have and the odd power vacuum precipitated indoctrinating his players with Sun Tzu’s mojo. Yesterday he trailed his pre-match faced Portugal in July was in the 1966 Gelsenkirchen by the sudden departure or removal of The Art of War, that well-thumbed staple chat to the players with the words: “I World Cup semi-final, which the the head of state. of the Personal Growth and Football will be as I always be. I will not read home side won 2-1 with three Which you could argue makes it the Management section of Waterstones. Winston Churchill tonight”. It brought graduates of the West Ham youth As the eminently sagacious Gary Lineker geopolitical equivalent of the England As far as the girding of our own loins the house down . . . Mercifully, he wasn’t team in their ranks. Messrs recently observed during the BBC’s manager job. Between 1910 and 1926 is concerned, it is clearly of utmost buried in the rubble. Ferdinand, Cole (J) and Lampard aim build-up to a match in Berlin, “History Portugal weathered 45 governments, importance that we find a way to obey The quiet man is turning up the to repeat the success of the rather is all around us‚”. A few days ago, it which is a couple shy of the total of the English footballing rule which states volume, as another bald twit with more famous Boleyn Boys — Moore, was the turn of Portuguese striker and England managers notched up in the last that we must delve into history for a delusions of competence once said, Hurst and Peters. renaissance man to draw our two decades, but would be an evocative pivotal occasion on which we saved our albeit about 10 minutes before being • On that day actor Christopher attention to the lessons of the past, statistic to any student of the turmoil of opponent’s bacon. In the absence of any shuffled off the stage to be replaced by a Plummer was top of the album charts by way of a curtain-raiser to today’s Soho Square (Lancaster Gate as was). imperial niggle, comfort should be heartsinking throwback. But let’s save in the Sound of Music movie quarter-final against England in Considered against such an angsty drawn from the fact that it was only our the Michael Howard-Steve McClaren soundtrack. Today he crowns his Gelsenkirchen. backdrop, Big Phil’s rejection of the intervention in the Peninsular War comparisons for another day. comeback with the UK’s top grossing “If you know a little bit of Portuguese chalice proffered by ’s (1804-1812, trivia buffs) that restored A titanic battle awaits us, and if film The Lake House. history,” he announced at a press outstretched claw has never seemed so Portuguese independence after the Portuguese history and the England • But when England lost 1-0 to conference, flanked by his manager Big baffling, and seems to have been taken country had been invaded and occupied manager’s fortunes are inexorably linked Portugal in June 1986 it was on the Phil Scolari, “you can see that Portugal appropriately personally by David by the Napoleonic French. So, they (and I don’t think any of us for a second eve of Wham!’s last concert at aren’t afraid of anybody.” Beckham and friends. Naturally, many totally wouldn’t be at the tournament believes they really are), let’s hope this Wembley Stadium. Careless whispers Now, you may regard this as a fairly of the details of that fiascoid without us, or at the very best would be afternoon takes us all the way back to maintain Andrew Ridgeley, George broad overview of international employment overture back in May are fighting for the chance to hit the deck in the Age of Discovery when that nation Michael, Pepsi and Shirley are due to relations on that corner of the Iberian still too painful to talk about. I guess we a manner that defies all known laws of acquired its empire. Eriksson could do reform at Wembley Arena this year. peninsula (then again, is it the time to all died a little in that damn war. physics with Thierry Henry. worse than a little buccaneering.