Volume 13, Issue 3 The Offi cial Newspaper of the 2020 Fantasy Camp Monday, January 27, 2020

Sports Clichés Fantasy Camp Standings Fantasy camp is a blast from the past. A any kind of man you’ve broken many. After 1 game little bird told me that there might be a diamond Paul Herrington - I just want to do the best job I W L in the rough among the campers. Some say can and not let my teammates down. Silk Crimsons 1 0 he or she might be the best thing since sliced Thank you to all campers who played the Where’s Gumby 1 0 bread. But that’s a half-baked idea. game. Elvis has left the building. Sweet Colonel Sanders 1 0 A cliché is defi ned as a phrase or opinion J.J. Makes Me Hart 1 0 that is overused and betrays a lack of original Rules of Fantasy Camp Sweet G’s 0 1 thought. And as you can see in the opening Prodigal Turd Mongers 0 1 paragraph, I didn’t bat an eyelash by using an by Camper, “Grasshopper” Slaton & Augustine 0 1 array of clichés. If you haven’t fi gured it out, my Easter, 4th Money Clip 0 1 It’s a guarantee this week you will be of July and Christmas starts the weekend hearing and saying many clichés as you and -- the commencement of the 2020 edition of your team try to carpe diem. Milwaukee Brewers Fantasy Camp in balmy Batting Average Leaderboard I emailed campers and asked what their Phoenix. Here are the rules of Fantasy Camp Name Team Name BA favorite clichés are. It didn’t even have to be for the uninitiated: sports related. Some replied with clichés, 1) What goes on in Fantasy Camp stays in David Crawford Money Clip 1.000 while others gave me their favorite quotes. Fantasy Camp (unless of course someone Bob Grass Prodigal Turd Mongers 1.000 Either way, excuse my French, c’est la vie. does something incredibly stupid, then it will be Wayne Haddon Money Clip 1.000 posted all over Facebook) Steve Gilboy - Your best pitch is always “Strike 2) Don’t get hurt (over the years I have Terry Jannsen Where's Gumby 1.000 One.” broken two fi ngers, one toe, one rib, tore two Lew Krisberg Sweet Colonel Sanders 1.000 Lew Krisberg - Don’t be so humble, you’re not hamstrings, ripped out a 2 inch piece of fl esh, that great. Peter Mcfarland Silk Crimsons 1.000 gotten a concussion and a black eye -- so, Eric Sodemann - Rub some dirt on it. suffi ce it to say I don’t follow this rule real well) John Nygaard J.J. Makes Me Hart 1.000 Tom Sweinberg - We didn’t really lose the 3) Take it easy, no one will get drafted from Bob Steffes J.J. Makes Me Hart 1.000 game, we just ran out of innings. Fantasy Camp Tim Adamany - We’re fi ring on all cylinders. 4)Try not to get fi ned more than one Ben Tim Webber Prodigal Turd Mongers 1.000 Mike Arnold - The more things change, the Franklin in Kangaroo Court (I’ve managed to Dan Zier Silk Crimsons 1.000 more they stay the same. follow this one, though I’ve been “close”) Scott St.Clair - It does not matter how good Mike Ejercito Where's Gumby .750 5) Whatever you do, please don’t get cut from you are, the referees can blow a call and cost your Fantasy Camp team (another one I may Slaton & Augustine John Hagenow .750 you the game. have been “close” on in the past -- lol!) Photos by CAMP.SPORTSEYE.com Steve Hepp Where's Gumby .750 Tom Kilbey - What hell is wrong with you 6) Tip the trainers and clubhouse guys well -- guys!!! Justin Hraby Where's Gumby .750 they become essential assets to the players (in Cap Wulf - I never saw one go in that was short the past I’ve been attached to electrodes like Jon Molstad Slaton & Augustine .750 yet. a frog in a 7th grade science experiment, but Ron Schoenbach Slaton & Augustine .750 Joe Wojtasiak - Don’t let your mouth write it works -- it’s like Oral Roberts heals you for checks your butt can’t cash. 90 minutes) James (Ed) Alf Sweet G's .667 Ian Gonzalez - Teamwork makes the dream 7) Support your fellow campers in all endeavors Bob Bahlman Slaton & Augustine .667 work. (unless, of course they do something totally Tim Webber - Still got your health, kid. Mark Courchane Sweet G's .667 stupid) Malcolm “Slash” Hatfi eld - The only thing that 8) Drink plenty of fl uids -- especially the Slaton & Augustine Brett Eulberg .667 got hurt was my feelings. carbonated ones manufactured from wheat Chris Fitzpatrick Sweet G's .667 Vinny Savino - Don’t put all your eggs in one and barley basket. Bruce Gilbert Silk Crimsons .667 9) Strive to win, but in the end, its about fun, OPENINGOPENING Dan Rooks - Any day you wake up looking and good natured competition -- jerks are not Christopher Grossmann Prodigal Turd Mongers .667 down at the grass instead of up from it, it’s a well-tolerated; I have seen some unusual (and Doug Johnsen Sweet Colonel Sanders .667 good day. entertaining) ways of handling jerks...believe David “Fish” Crawford - I’m the player to be me, you don’t want to be a jerk DAY Keith Koszarek Sweet G's .667 named later. DAY 10) In my case, load up on Celebrex to numb Ryan Kotowski Money Clip .667 Paul “Colonel” Bishop - This is a ‘must win’ the aches and pains of constant game. Joe Kuborn J.J. Makes Me Hart .667 striking your body Sam Seiler - Never put off until tomorrow, what 11) Wear your uniform with pride -- no slovenly Sunday’s Results During the 2020 season, Schlesinger was quoted. the April 7, 1970, Opening Day Derek Niemi Sweet G's .667 you can put off until the day after tomorrow. attire allowed on the fi eld -- remember, the Milwaukee Brewers are “At the end of the day, starting lineup for the Crew. Chris Peters J.J. Makes Me Hart .667 Mike Dietzen - Sometime you win, sometimes looking good is feeling good Afternoon Games celebrating their 50th anniverary I would sell this: We have -2B, Russ you lose, sometimes it rains. Steve Phillips Sweet Colonel Sanders .667 12) Re-unite with old friends and make new season. elements from all of our historical Snyder-CF, Mike Hegan-1B, Paul Tunak - He didn’t have his best stuff today. Money Clip - 2 friends -- I have accumulated many new friends Last November, as you all brands and logos and uniforms. If Danny Walton-LF, Steve Hovley- Brad Polczynski Sweet Colonel Sanders .667 George Carufel - That’s why we play the game. Silk Crimsons - 9 over the years -- remember you all have a few may know by now, the Brewers you liked one particular system of RF, Jerry McNertney-C, Max Don Quinones Silk Crimsons .667 Dario Melendez - You hang ‘em, we bang ‘em. things in common -- love baseball, love the Sweet G’s - 10 unveiled new uniforms and an our history, you’re going to fi nd it Alvis-3B, -SS, Lew Terry Jannsen - You can’t win them all if you Brewers and by spending a load of money for a Chris Ramirez J.J. Makes Me Hart .667 J.J. Makes Me Hart - 12 updated version of the ball-in- somewhere,” Schlesinger said. Krausse-P. don’t win the fi rst one. frivolous week of baseball, are obviously partial glove logo. Campers, enjoy wearing the The Brewers, in front of Roger Rustad J.J. Makes Me Hart .667 Bill Gasper - Throw the high hard one. Can’t nerd/geek/dork Where’s Gumby - 18 it and can’t lay off it. Slaton & Augustine - 12 “We know there are going to beautiful looking unis hanging up 36,107 fans, were shutout by Robert Slak Sweet G's .667 13) Final rule of Fantasy Camp -- have fun, be some people who wanted us in your locker. the California Angels, 12-0. The Randy Brandner - Baseball is 90 percent laugh copiously, repeat...... Whether its your J.J. Makes Me Hart Sweet Colonel Sanders - 12 to go back to the old ball-in-glove And as the Brewers celebrate Brewers could only muster four Scott Spaeth .667 mental, and the other half is physical. fi rst camp, or your 15th (like me), it should be Prodigal Turd Mongers - 7 Keith Koszarek - It’s a wonderful life. without any changes,” Brewers their golden anniversary, let’s hits in the game, three by Hovley, A BIG THANK YOU TO SCOTT ABRAMS one of your highlights of the year -- enjoy every Chief Operating Offi cer Rick take a trip down memory lane at and the one by Harper. FOR COMPILING THE STATS. Chris Knorr - Wine glasses are dainty, if you’re second! PLAY BALL!