Free To Heal: Pastoral and Praxis for Chaplains to Address Domestic Abuse

Ally Kern, Azusa Pacific University [email protected] www.allykern.com ❖ 1 in 3 women are abused by a boyfriend, partner Introduction or husband ❖ The Christian is the largest institution in the US

❖ and pastoral caregivers are ‘first responders’ Problems with Clergy Addressing Domestic Abuse

● Clergy are the first and often only person women disclose to ● Most clergy report feeling unequipped to handle disclosures ● Clergy frequently underestimate the scale and trauma of abuse ● Victims rate clergy support less effective than secular sources of support ● Clergy rarely refer women to domestic abuse professionals Practical Theology

➢ My own experience and research ➢ The social landscape of abuse in the US ➢ Trauma and domestic abuse ➢ Theology that perpetuates abuse ➢ Pastoral praxis for addressing abuse Intimate Partner

Violence ➢ 1 in 3 women globally & in the US are victims Abuse from one partner to another in ➢ Emotional, physical, sexual, a dating, cohabiting, or marital financial, & spiritual abuse relationship ➢ Women are most frequently murdered by their present or former male partner ➢ Definition: “ extraordinary—although often common—experiences that overwhelm the victim’s normal coping abilities, removing their sense of control, connection with and ability to trust others, as well as rupturing her sense of meaning in life” (Herman, 1997, p. 33)

Trauma and ➢ Impact of Domestic Abuse: ○ Sense of self ○ Brain & memory ○ Mental health Abuse ○ Physical Health Intersections:

Vulnerabilities ➢ Age (18-24), disability, Women of Color sexual orientation ➢ Women of color experience Immigrants abuse disproportionally ➢ Poverty, lack of access to healthcare, education, employment etc. How Christian Theology Impacts Abuse

Negatively Positively

● Theological Anthropology—are ● Spiritual practices foster women really persons? survival and resilience ● Complementarian gender roles strategies ● Women-only Submission ● in a loving can ● Forgiveness without give strength to leave the repentance abuser ● The Cross and Suffering ● Recognize positive elements ● Divorce as sinful of their suffering ● Egalitarian theology Pastoral Theological Praxis

HOSTING THE SOUL: A THEOLOGICAL FRAMEWORK FOR PASTORAL CARE

● The Church: Caring for God’s people by cultivating safe spaces for the soul to be nurtured and reformed in the image of Christ

● Personal scope of pastoral care: Praxis must value compassionate listening that believes the victim; encourages her to be safe ; and supports her recovery

● Social scope of pastoral care: Identify and resist ways the larger structures and systems oppress, marginalize, and perpetuate abuse against women A THEOLOGICAL RESPONSE

➢ Sin is not only individual, but corporate and systemic ➢ treats women and girls as valuable and equal ➢ It is not biblical for women to be subordinate to men; submission is a mutual call for both sexes to flourish ➢ Christians are called to actively cultivate justice and peace towards the flourishing of all people—especially the oppressed, abused, and marginalized PREVENTION

➢ Establish a church charter condemning abuse ➢ Train all clergy and staff ➢ Implement a Safeguarding Policy and clear procedures for disclosure ➢ Pre-marital counseling

➢ Utilize sermons, Scripture, conferences, bible studies etc. ➢ Teach teens about healthy relationships CRISIS SUPPORT

1. Establish relationship by listening with respect and empathy 2. BELIEVE her 3. Assure her the abuse is not her fault and that God wants her to be safe 4. Are children involved? 5. Is there immediate danger? 6. REFER her to professionals 7. Ask her permission to take notes 8. Ask her how the church can help RECOVERY

➢ Provide financial assistance ➢ Housing ➢ Child care ➢ Legal Assistance ➢ Develop a Support Team ➢ Spiritual Care ➢ Hold abusers accountable ➢ Support divorce as God’s plan for her safety and freedom HOPE PERSISTS

➢ Grounding exercises (breathing and meditation) ➢ Listening Prayer ➢ Inner Healing Prayer FREE TO HEAL

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