An Educator's Experience of Incivility, Burnout, And

AN EDUCATOR’S EXPERIENCE OF INCIVILITY, BURNOUT, AND COMPASSION FATIGUE DESCRIBED THROUGH FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE

Katharine Evans Urmy

A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Education

Middle Tennessee State University May 2020

Dissertation Committee:

Dr. Rick Vanosdall, Chair

Dr. Kevin Krahenbuhl

Dr. Gary Kiltz

DEDICATION This work is dedicated to my parents, Norman and Carole, who have always believed in

and championed me to pursue my dreams. Thank you for all the big and little ways you

have supported me. I will always remember. I am who I am today because of you both.

I also dedicate this work to my daughters, Chloe, Isabella, and Simone, who have

patiently watched me struggle through this process while being their mother.

Thank you for allowing me to grow and explore my own dreams;

I hope you will always do the same!

It takes a community of people to create, support, and finish a goal.

Thank you for being my community and tribe through this journey.

This body of work is also dedicated to all the teachers who show up in classrooms every

day and selflessly give their time, energy, and resources to students.

You are the heroes of today and tomorrow. I see you. I hear you.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To my dissertation chair, Dr. Rick Vanosdall, thank you. I appreciate your open mind and curious nature that have allowed me to explore my interests despite being different and outside the box. You have given me permission to tread off the beaten path, and you have stuck with me in each and every step. To Dr. Kevin Krahenbuhl, thank you for supporting me during an unpleasant experience of incivility and for providing me creative options to continue in pursuit of this degree. To my dear friend, Ila Blevins, thank you for your loyal support and friendship; you have been so very encouraging and uplifting. Finally, I acknowledge the deep resilience that has been cultivated within me during this lengthy process of beginning, choosing to continue, and finishing this project. I am deeply grateful for the gift of resiliency and the lessons it took to bring me to this place.

“What we say about ourselves in passing is usually swept away, the detritus of discourse, and it takes a rupture in the normal unfolding of everyday life to bring it into view and remind us of its value as identity’s bedrock.” – Paul John Eakin (2008).

“You are a scholar to the extent that you can tell a good, instructive story. You are a scholar if you can capture the narrative quality of your human experience in language that inspires others. You are a scholar if you can present your story in such a way that […] it rings true to human life. You are a scholar if you can help your readers to reexamine their own truth stories in light of the truths that you are struggling to discern in your own complicated life story.” – R. J. Nash (2004).

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ABSTRACT

This autoethnographical phenomenological participatory study examines the researcher’s experience of compassion fatigue, burnout, and incivility and how this experience affects her life and work, and ultimately her decision to leave the profession of teaching. This study is grounded in critical theory insofar as it seeks to confront the social, historical, and ideological forces that contribute to compassion fatigue, burnout, and incivility in the workplace as experienced by the researcher and other educators. A large part of the study relies on “collaborative witnessing, a form of relational autoethnography that works to evocatively tell the experiences of others in shared storytelling and conversation” (Rawicki & Ellis, 2011). Through an autoethnographic lens, the researcher uses personal experience to examine and critique a larger cultural experience among teachers by purposefully commenting on and critiquing school culture in order to make contributions to the existing research. This is done by taking an authentic inventory of personal experience and embracing vulnerability purposefully in hopes of creating a relationship between the researcher’s own experience and that of others (Jones, Adams, & Ellis, 2013). Illuminating the voices of teachers, this critical participatory research is intended to hear from those suffering from compassion fatigue, burnout, and incivility by giving them a turn at the proverbial microphone to stand as witnesses and echo their voices down the long halls of policymakers, oftentimes so far removed from the field, to affect future policy change regarding the proper care of teachers in the field (Greenhalgh & Russell, 2006; Martín-Baró, 1994; Nelson, 2013).

TABLE OF CONTENTS

LIST OF TABLES ...... vii LIST OF FIGURES ...... viii CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ...... 1 CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW ...... 9 Burnout ...... 9 Compassion Fatigue ...... 14 Incivility ...... 19 Autoethnography...... 23 The Use of Figurative Language...... 27 CHAPTER III: RESEARCH METHODOLGY ...... 32 Qualitative Research ...... 32 Narrative Inquiry ...... 33 Research Questions and Research Steps ...... 35 Research Timeline ……………………………………………………………………37

Participatory Research ...... 37 Autoethnography...... 40 Trustworthiness and Validity ...... 43 Participants ...... 44 CHAPTER IV: STORIES ...... 48 Ava’s Story ...... 48 Deacan’s Story ...... 52 Lucy’s Story ...... 58 Jade’s Story ...... 61 Esme’s Story ...... 64 Fulton’s Story...... 68 Joy’s Story ...... 71 Susan’s Story ...... 74 Nevaeh’s Story ...... 76 Matt’s Story ...... 80

Elizabeth’s Story ...... 83 Bill’s Story ...... 87 Bea’s Story ...... 91 Jianyu’s Story...... 93 Carly’s Story ...... 96 Kevin’s Story ...... 98 Lidya’s Story ...... 101 Carol’s Story ...... 104 Norman’s Story ...... 108 Jamie’s Story ...... 111 Heather’s Story ...... 113 Andrew’s Story ...... 116 CHAPTER V: THEMES & REFLECTIONS ...... 121 Rest ...... 123 Compensation ...... 125 Accountability ...... 127 Support and Acknowledgment ...... 127 Overload and Lack of Time ...... 130 CHAPTER VI: RECOMMENDATIONS & LIMITATIONS ...... 132 Recommendations ...... 132 Limitations ...... 147 References ...... 151 APPENDIX A: FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE IDENTIFICATION SHEET ...... 175 APPENDIX B: INTERVIEW QUESTIONS ...... 177 APPENDIX C: AHIMSA SAAMAGRI NVC FEELINGS/NEEDS CARDS ...... 179 APPENDIX D: VALIDITY MATRIX ...... 180 APPENDIX E: IMAGES ...... 182 APPENDIX F: TOTAL CHOICES FEELINGS ...... 188 APPENDIX G: TOTAL NEEDS CHOICES ...... 190 APPENDIX I: TOTAL IMAGE CHOICES ...... 192 EPILOUGE…………………………………………………………………………………200

LIST OF TABLES

Table 1 Symptoms of Compassion Fatique ...... 15 Table 2 Participant Descriptors ………………………………………………………….45 Table 3 Ava’s Choices ...... 51 Table 4 Deacan’s Choices ...... 57 Table 5 Lucy’s Choices ...... 50 Table 6 Jade’s Choices...... 63 Table 7 Esme’s Choices ...... 67 Table 8 Fulton’s Choices ...... 70 Table 9 Joy’s Choices ...... 60 Table 10 Susan’s Choices ...... 75 Table 11 Nevaeh’s Choices ...... 79 Table 12 Matt’s Choices ...... 82 Table 13 Elizabeth’s Choices ...... 70 Table 14 Bill’s Choices ...... 89 Table 15 Bea’s Choices ...... 92 Table 16 Jianyu’s Choices ...... 95 Table 17 Carly’s Choices ...... 98 Table 18 Kevin’s Choices ...... 80 Table 19 Lidya’s Choices ...... 103 Table 20 Carol’s Choices ...... 107 Table 21 Norman’s Choices...... 90 Table 22 Jamie’s Choices ...... 113 Table 23 Heather’s Choices ...... 115 Table 24 Andrew’s Choices ...... 119

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LIST OF FIGURES

Figure 1. Personal and professional repercussions of physician burnout...... 13 Figure 2. Methodology timeline ……………………………………………………….. 37 Figure 3. Similarities and differences of incivility, compassion fatigue, & burnout ……31

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CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION

Preface

As Jim Collins (2011), in Great by Choice, stated, “We don’t choose study questions. They choose us. Sometimes one of the questions just grabs us around the throat and growls, ‘I’m not going to release my grip and let you breathe until you answer me!’” (p. 2). Derived from personal and professional experiences with challenges and questions that gripped my mind, questions emerged and became the heart of this research project. Taking an honest self-inventory of experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility in my teaching career motivated me to seek others who share similar experiences. Curiosity around why these experiences exist, how long they have been going on, and how they can be remedied became the fuel for this research. The scope of this paper is to illuminate the voices and shared experiences of twenty-two teachers, in eight different schools, to better understand the phenomena of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility in education and to answer the research questions posed in this study.

Background

It has been my experience to know that teachers choose a career in education to help others learn and grow into their best selves so that they can contribute to a better society. If prospective teachers are not aware of the possibility that they might one day experience negative feelings regarding their chosen profession and how those feelings might affect their well-being and decision to stay on their chosen career path, are they adequately prepared? Carr (2018) explains:

Teacher burnout is real. It is devastating. And, it’s more common than you think. Teacher burnout is an insidious epidemic, and we must do something about it. The cases are numerous. However, the results are the same. A teacher who set out to make a difference with selfless intentions, begins to question their place, their purpose, and their passion. (pp. 28-29)

It is a phenomenon that is spreading like a contagion unnamed and unnoticed (Steward,

2014). Lemon & McDonough (in press), explain that experiencing stress, competition, burnout, exhaustion, ego, lack of relationships, working after hours, and feeling isolated have all become normalized for teachers. Palmer (2007) shared,

We are distanced by a grading systems that separates teachers from students, by departments that fragment fields of knowledge, by competition that makes students and teachers wary of their peers, and by a bureaucracy that puts faculty and administration at odds. (p. 36)

When it comes to students, the current world of education is placing increased emphasis on social and emotional health; however, teachers often are often left out when it comes to this regard (Aguilar, 2018; Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional

Learning, 2018; Jones & Kahn, 2017). Compassion fatigue and teacher resiliency must be uncovered and examined in order to find solutions to the epidemic of teacher burnout currently exploding (Carr, 2018; Lemon & McDonough, in press).

Rationale

According to Oberle and Schonert-Reichl (2016), teacher wellbeing is linked to student wellbeing. Their research linked rising levels of the stress hormone cortisol in students as a result of the occupational stress of their teachers. Teachers who ranked high for burnout reported more stress, less effective teaching, less effective classroom management, less connection with students, and less contentment with their work (Carr,

2018). Palmer (2007) explains that, “As I teach, I project the condition of my soul onto

my students, my subject, and our way of being together” (p. 2). Teacher well-being directly affects students and their learning outcomes. Briner and Dewberry (2007) conducted research with 24,100 elementary and secondary teachers, which showed a direct link between teachers’ wellbeing and student performance. According to Carr

(2018), “Stressed out teacher[s]... leads to stressed kids, which leads to lower academic achievements” (p. 20). Roffey (2010) suggests that by investing in teacher wellbeing, schools would experience a decreased need for both internal and external support and interventions for the social and behavioral needs of students. Roffey’s (2010) work shares the importance of investing in teacher wellbeing, which fosters resiliency and creates strong teachers in order to create strong schools that can adequately meet the needs of all students. Burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, all which lead to emotional exhaustion, not only have a detrimental effect on schools and students, they have a negative effect on teachers too. Negative effects on the educators’ health, self- esteem, relationships, sleep and eating habits, finances, and career longevity have been reported (Bobek, 2002; Carr, 2018; Howard & Johnson, 2004). New research on Adverse

Childhood Experiences (ACE) revealed that people with higher ACE scores have an increased likelihood to experience secondary traumatic stress syndromes (STS). Thus, teachers who have high ACE scores, even unknowingly, run the risk of being more susceptible to compassion fatigue by retraumatization through exposure to their students’ trauma (Butler, Maguin, & Carello, 2018). According to Cunningham (2004), even teachers with low ACE scores are at risk for developing compassion fatigue because of their lack of exposure to difficult life experiences, thus making them vulnerable to becoming overwhelmed when their own experiences, beliefs, and assumptions of the

world are challenged (Neumann & Gamble, 1995). Secondary Trauma Syndrome is a condition wherein traumatic experiences are shared through conversation, and the empathetic listener (teacher) experiences trauma related symptoms that parallel those of the survivor. Vicarious Traumatization Syndrome is the phenomenon of the cumulative impact of working with trauma survivors. Both Secondary Trauma Syndrome and

Vicarious Traumatization Syndrome are occupational hazards to workers who deal directly with traumatized populations; these syndromes can impede worker effectiveness

(Butler et al., 2016; Figley, 1999; McCann & Pearlman, 1990; Pearlman & Saakvitne,

1995; Rosenbloom, Pratt, & Pearlman, 1999).

The work of teachers includes day to day mentoring and instructing youth, many of whom are victims of trauma which affects their learning. These students’ trauma becomes the responsibility of the teacher since it directly impacts student behavior and student learning, which teachers are largely held responsible for in today’s world

(Aguilar, 2018). Teachers, therefore, are often witnesses to the trauma of their students and serve as a support in many ways beyond academic instruction (Terrasi & Galarce,

2017). The problem of compassion fatigue among teachers demands attention, and the study of it is long overdue. Teachers need to be provided with the tools to take an inventory of their experience and ultimately be equipped with how to develop compassion satisfaction and resiliency. Without this knowledge, teachers are not prepared for their roles and more susceptible to burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility which effects their decision to stay or leave the profession. It is crucial that leaders in the education profession take the time to evaluate and provide the resources to address this malignancy that is spreading and negatively impacting school improvement efforts.

What we are hearing from teachers is why “they are giving up teaching and why they would not recommend that their children, nieces or nephews choose teaching as their career” (Tucker & National Center on Education and the Economy, 2014, p. 12).

Research, spanning three decades, that examined the wellbeing of over 20,000 educators in England found “a third of new teaching recruits leave the job within the first five years” and “sleeping problems, panic attacks and anxiety issues had contributed to teachers’ decisions to quit the profession” (Weale, 2020, p. 1). John Jerrim, UCL Institute of Education in England, explains:

The teaching profession in England is currently in the midst of a crisis and one potential reason why it’s struggling to recruit and retain enough teachers is due to the pressures of the job. It has long been known that teaching is a stressful and challenging career…In [my] view, the most pressing issue is for the DfE [Department of Education] to make a commitment to monitor the mental health and wellbeing of the teaching profession- similar to the commitment it has made to monitor teachers’ workloads over time. (Weale, 2020, p.1)

The Joint General Secretary of the National Education Union, Dr. Mary Bousted, said “it was no wonder schools [are] unable to recruit and retain staff when workload demands continued to be unsustainable” (Weale, 2020, p. 1).

If we want to remedy this situation then it is time to value the voices and experiences of these teachers so that the phenomena of teacher burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility can be acknowledged, understood, and remedied. The qualitative research in this dissertation allows the voice of teachers to be heard; teachers have a special voice because they are enmeshed in the practice that creates the experience of compassion fatigue (Kemmis et al., 2014). The research in this dissertation consists of

“...a very active and proactive notion of critical self-reflection- individual and collective self-reflection that actively interrogates the conduct and consequences of participants'

practices, their understanding of their practices ... in order to discover whether their practices are, in fact…unsustainable” (Kemmis, McTaggart, & Nixon, 2014, p. 6).

Nature of this Study

The “object” of participatory research is dependent upon social construct and human coexistence, therefore necessitating the need for co-research and participatory research in which “co-participants in the process undertake each of the steps in the spiral of self-reflection collaboratively” (Kemmis, McTaggart, & Nixon, 2014, p. 19). Those participating in the study are considered co-researchers who collaborate with the researcher through story-telling to reflect their lived experiences. “Published case collections could go a long way toward the delineation of the [burnout] syndrome,” according to Burisch (1993, p. 15). Hearing teachers’ stories and standing witness to their experiences will hopefully answer Palmer’s question from his book, The Courage to

Teach, 2007), “How can the teacher’s selfhood become a legitimate topic in education and in our public dialogues on educational reform? ... How can educational institutions support the teacher’s inner life?” (pp. 3, 6). Based on the premise “good teaching cannot be reduced to technique; good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher,” it is time to listen, hear, and acknowledge the experiences and perceptions of teachers in the larger educational conversation (Palmer, 2007, p. 10).

Methods of the Study

This participatory study presents the perspectives of twenty-two educators working across eight different schools. The data was collected using narrative inquiry methods via two separate journal entries (pre and post interview), in-person interviews, non-violent communication cards and image selections, and figurative language choices

of the participants. All participants’ stories are a product of my analysis of the transcripts, card choices, and image choices and include direct quotations from the participant. In the spirit of autoethnography, the researcher also went through the same process as each participant, and her story is told under a pseudonym for anonymity. Narrative inquiry is used as the method to collect data from participants, and autoethnography is used as the method to analyze the data. Discussion surrounding narrative inquiry and autoethnography are elaborated on in Chapters two and three.

Research Questions

Contemplating the lack of professional educators’ voices available in the literature regarding these phenomena, the researcher has embarked on this dissertation journey to discover the answers to following research questions: Does the experience of incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue among educators exist? How are the experiences self- described by educators? Using figurative language, such as metaphors, similes, and idioms, how do educators describe their experiences and effects of incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue? How do educators’ perspectives of their experiences affect their decisions to stay or leave the profession?

Road Map

Answers to the research questions are the destinations, but the road to get there is winding. The journey includes understanding what current literature says about burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility. Due to the lack of research from the field of education on these topics, research from the field of medicine will guide the journey. Understanding the role of autoethnography in research allows my voice to be included as an educator who has experienced this phenomenon. Using figurative language as a tool to aid the

expression of feelings and memories for participants will be explained as well as the concept of narrative inquiry for sharing participants’ stories. The methodology steps will be outlined, and data will be shared via participant stories and tables. From the data, shared themes were identified, and my reflections on the themes will be explained as well as future recommendations. This work has been a deeply meaningful journey for me as I have had the privilege to stand witness as twenty-two educators shared their stories. I hope you will find meaning as well as you meet Ava, Deacan, Lucy, Jade, Esme, Fulton,

Joy, Susan, Nevaeh, Matt, Elizabeth, Bill, Bea, Jianyu, Carly, Kevin, Lidya, Carol,

Norman, Jamie, Heather, and Andrew.

CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW

Introduction

This chapter will dive deeply into the literature regarding the experience of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, relying heavily on the existing research for health care providers since the research does not exist for educators’ experiences. Current literature on the use of autoethnography and figurative language in research will also be discussed.

Burnout

Herbert Freudenberger (1975) defined burnout as an experience resulting in three conditions:

1. Emotional exhaustion – the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long

2. Depersonalization – the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion

3. Decreased sense of accomplishment – an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling

that nothing you do makes any difference (pp. 73-82).

Burnout, a phenomenon experienced by workers in high stress jobs is defined as,

“... a syndrome characterized by emotional exhaustion and depersonalization… originating from work-related stress, that contributes to decreased effectiveness at work”

(Dyrbye et al., 2019a, p. 689). Maslach and Jackson (1981) stated that “burnout is a multidimensional concept comprised of three components: emotional exhaustion (feeling tired or fatigued), depersonalization (feeling callous and/or uncaring), and reduced accomplishment (a feeling of not accomplishing anything)” (para. 12). According to

Nagoski and Nagoski (2019), “Twenty to thirty percent of teachers in America have

moderately high to high levels of burnout. Similar rates are found among university professors and international humanitarian aid workers ... [amongst] professional burnout- specifically ‘people who help people’” (p. xi). This experience directly impacts the workers’ health, the organization’s health, and the service recipients’ wellbeing. Dyrbye et al. (2019a) conducted a study of 8638 nurses and 5198 workers to observe the outcome of burnout:

Studies in nurses suggest burnout may contribute to lower quality of care, patient safety, and patient satisfaction. For example, emotional exhaustion among nurses increases the likelihood patients rate hospitals poorly, do not recommend hospitals for care, and perceive nurse communication unfavorably. Nurses who have symptoms of burnout are also more likely to perceive they have committed a medical error. Burnout among nurses has been associated with increased absenteeism and lower supervisor ratings of nurse performance. Additionally, nurses with burnout are more likely to consider leaving their current job. (p. 689)

The same study concluded that similar risks existed for other workers, “... there were no significant differences in rates of high emotional exhaustion, high depersonalization, or overall burnout between nurses and other workers” (Dyrbye et al.,

2019a, p. 692). If teachers are unhappy, stressed, and experiencing low morale, their students are also suffering. In their research, Leiter, Harvie, and Frizzel (1998) and

Vahey, Aiken, Sloane, Clark, and Vargas (2004) linked nurse burnout to negative patient outcomes. According to Burisch (1993), there are several symptoms of workers experiencing burnout including:

• Hyper or hypoactivity

• Feelings of helplessness, depression, and exhaustion

• Inner unrest

• Reduced self-esteem and demoralization

• Deteriorated social relationships

• Striving to bring about a change (a characteristic that distinguishes burned out

individuals from people mourning some loss) (p. 78)

Drawing on the works of Argyris (1964), Cherniss (1980, 1993), Hall (1976), and

Maslach (1982), psychological withdrawal is: (a) a characteristic of organizational burnout and leads to the individual becoming apathetic and disinterested at work; (b) placing increased value on material/extrinsic rewards and decreased value on intrinsic rewards related to work; (c) increased self defense mechanisms and decreased openness to feedback; (d) opposing and fighting against the organization one works for; and (e) eventually leaving the organization. Noworal et al. (1993) ascertain that burnout affects the way in which people react to a situation at work; the reaction is influenced by external factors in the work environment and by internal factors such as the worker’s coping mechanisms (Noworal, Zarczynski, Fafrowicz, & Marek, 1993). Burisch (1993) explained that experiences of burnout can lead to “... goal frustration” which, in turn, can lead to aggression and incivility, “... frustration is likely to arouse the hostile emotion of anger” (p. 79). He referred to a German psychiatry textbook that describes what we would, today, call burnout:

Typically, there is a strained, irritable exhaustion which ... includes a morose ill- humor and lowered capacities. The feelings of impotence and fatigue are accompanied by a state of tension. The exhaustion and weakness does not give way to recovery in peaceful sleep ... Complaints of tiredness, slackness, and incapacity to achieve can thus be in the focus. However, in outright depressive but shallow, stale, empty, listless. Everything is too much, everything is a demand one would rather not have anymore. (Brautigam, 1969, p. 34)

Reports of students in crisis are on the rise, and this is taking a toll on teachers and guidance counselors who care for students in loco parents. According to David

Onestak, the Director of the Counseling Center at James Madison University, “The number of crisis clients [students], those with immediate safety issues at stake, has grown

900 percent since 2004. Rising rates of depression and burnout are ... ‘the lived experience of most counseling-center clinicians’” (Kafka, 2019, para. 5). Victor

Schwartz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NYU and former medical director of NYU’s Counseling Services, explained that school counseling offices are serving as crisis centers, emergency rooms, and social services to students, in addition to their standard role of school guidance and career counselor centers. He explained that there is an additional stress for educational professionals because of the public nature of the work and that parents, schools, courts, and the public have unrealistic expectations on counselors (and teachers), which causes extraordinary levels of stress and burnout

(Kafka, 2019). Laschinger & Finegan (2005) and Leiter (2005), reveal that work-related assumptions, attitudes, and expectations affect the onset of burnout. Sabo (2011, para. 5), explains, “For example, nurses’ expectation that providing a specific level of care will ultimately lead to positive outcomes for every patient is not only unrealistic and naïve, but may set nurses up for stress when they are unable to meet their expected goals.”

Teachers often begin the year with optimism that they will reach and teach every student; the disappointment that sets in from inevitably not reaching this goal can trigger the experience of burnout. Seppala and King (2017) illustrated,

The stakes for companies are high when it comes to loneliness and burnout. Recent studies estimate that loneliness costs employers in the UK billions of dollars each year and employee burnout costs the U.S. health care system hundreds of billions of dollars each year. The research is clear. Now it’s time for managers and leaders to take steps to battle these epidemics (para. 10).

Listening to the voices of teachers explain their experience of burnout should inform school leaders to make the necessary changes to fight this epidemic. The Mayo Clinic describes workplace burnout as an internal organizational threat that is oftentimes a blind spot to leadership within, “Executives need their [workers] to be engaged, nimble, resilient, and invested in helping the organization improve quality, develop more efficient care delivery models, and enhance productivity” (Shanafelt & Noseworth, 2017, p. 130).

Their image, Figure 1, shows the detrimental personal and professional impacts of workplace burnout for physicians (p. 130). Might the same impact be true for educators?

Figure 1. Personal and professional repercussions of physician burnout (Shanafelt & Noseworth, 2017).

Compassion Fatigue

Burnout causes emotional exhaustion; emotional exhaustion is one of the causes of compassion fatigue. Emotional exhaustion “[is] most strongly linked to negative impacts on our health, relationships, and work- especially for women” (Nagoski &

Nagoski, 2019, pp. xii-xiii). They further explained:

Emotions, at their most basic level, involve the release of neurochemicals in the brain, in response to some stimulus ... emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you get to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion ... because we are constantly being exposed to situations that activate emotion ... or we return to our stressful job every single day. No wonder “helping professions” are so exhausting- you're confronted with people in need, all day, day after day.

Teachers return to stressful work environments and high need students each and every day with not enough time to rest. This unhealthy cycle results in compassion fatigue, which increases restlessness and stress. Teachers get trapped on the hamster's wheel of serving others while exhausted, and this leads to disastrous results for wellbeing.

According to van Dernoot & Lipsky (2010), signs of compassion fatigue include:

1. Feeling helpless and hopeless

2. A sense that one can never do enough

3. Hyper Vigilance

4. Diminished Creativity

5. Inability to embrace complexity

6. Minimizing

7. Chronic exhaustion/physical ailments

8. Inability to listen/ deliberate avoidance

9. Dissociative moments

10. Sense of persecution

11. Guilt

12. Fear

13. Anger and cynicism

14. Inability to empathize/ numbness

15. Addictions

16. Grandiosity

Once experiencing compassion fatigue, effects in the physical, emotional, and work- related areas are prevalent (Table 1).

Table 1

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue

Physical Emotional Work Related

• Headaches • Mood swings • Avoidance or dread • Digestive problems: • Restlessness of working with diarrhea, • Irritability certain [people] constipation, upset • Oversensitivity • Reduced ability to stomach • Anxiety feel empathy… • Muscle tension • Excessive use of • Frequent use of sick • Sleep disturbances: substances: days inability to sleep, nicotine, alcohol, • Lack of joyfulness insomnia, too much illicit drugs sleep • Depression • Cardiac symptoms: • Anger and chest pain/pressure, resentment palpitations, • Loss of objectivity tachycardia • Memory issues

• Poor concentration, focus, and judgement

(Lombardo & Eyre, 2011 p. 3)

Compassion fatigue has been well-documented as a phenomenon that occurs in high stress jobs such as nursing, emergency medicine, social work, and first responders.

In fact, according to Schmidt and Haglund (2017), “Nurses working in emergency departments (EDs) normally experience some level of stress at work because of high acuity patients and high patient volume; yet, repeated exposure puts them at risk for developing compassion fatigue” (p. 317). Repeated exposure to “high acuity” patients is not unlike teachers’ experience of working with students who have high needs, which is, arguably, most children and teenagers (Carr, 2018).

Nurses, experiencing the cumulative and cyclical effect of stress such as caring for a heavy case load of traumatized patients and neglecting to provide adequate self-care eventually lose empathy and satisfaction in their work and careers (Flarity, Gentry, &

Mesnikoff, 2013; Hevezi, 2015; Hinderer et al., 2014; Hunsaker, Chen, Maughan, &

Heaston, 2014; Schmidt & Haglund, 2017). If this is true in the field of nursing, it may also be true in the field of education where teachers must deal with repeated high-stressed situations with students they are tasked to care for, with not enough time or resources to do so, and a lot of external pressure to perform to certain standards on high-stakes tests

(Aguilar, 2018; Carr, 2018). According to Lanier and Brunt (2017):

Despite the importance of compassion to effective nursing practice, it can become a deterrent to good care when it overwhelms the nurse’s ability to function effectively in a professional caregiver capacity ... CF is more common today

among professional caregivers because of increased patient loads, a shortage of nurses and other health care personnel, and financial constraints/budgetary realities that force difficult economic choices to be made. Regardless of the cause, the result is costly both from a personal perspective as well as from a financial one. (p. 10)

This description of nurses and the stressful environment where they are expected to care for patients is not unlike the environment in which teachers are expected to care for students: overcrowded classrooms, shortage of qualified teachers, incivility in the workplace, a lack of resources, and not enough compensation/pay (Aguilar, 2018; Carr,

2018). Teachers are emotionally invested in their students’ lives and experience anxiety, which fuels their experience of compassion fatigue as they witness students experiencing crises.

We care deeply for our students and for their wellbeing, and at the same time, we can only do so much. … The fear of losing a student to suicide is intensely scary and compounded by the fear of litigation for not having done enough ... When does it end? ... How long can those who work in college counseling centers maintain these high levels of stress? (Kafka, 2019, para. 11)

The effects of compassion fatigue are not only personally devastating to the individual experiencing them but can also be financially devastating to the organization for which they work, in which case is the school system in the case of teachers. Lombardo and

Eyre (2011) outlined the negative physical, emotional, and work-related symptoms/effects of compassion fatigue. These effects are clearly detrimental to the sufferer, the organization, and also the person in need of care (patient/student). A report by the nonprofit Learning Policy Institute (2014) found that

Between 2009 and 2014, the most recent years of data available, teacher education enrollments dropped from 691,000 to 451,000, a 35% reduction. This amounts to a decrease of almost 240,000 professionals on their way to the classroom in the year 2014, as compared to 2009. (Sutcher, Darling-Hammond, Carver-Thomas, 2016, para. 9)

In addition to a decrease of enrollment in teacher preparation programs, teachers are leaving the profession. According to the Washington Post (2017), 40% of teachers leave the profession after only five years in the state of Arkansas.

At the start of the 2017-18 school year, the Learning Policy Institute held a forum in Washington, D.C., on teacher turnover as we issued a new report offering an in-depth analysis of how often teachers leave their schools and why. We focused on turnover because about 90% of annual teacher demand is associated with teachers leaving the profession, and thus it drives many of the teacher shortages we see today, particularly in high-need schools, where students are at least four times more likely to be taught by uncertified teachers. (Strauss, 2017, para. 6)

In fact, data shows that teachers in high-poverty, high-minority, urban, and rural public schools have the most turnover (Ingersoll, 2011; Ingersoll & May, 2012). Students in these schools have higher ACE scores; therefore, teachers are exposed to more student trauma, which creates more compassion fatigue via secondary trauma. Teachers are reporting high levels of unhealthy stress in their jobs, and roughly half a million U.S. teachers leave the profession every year reporting stress as a top reason (Aguilar, 2018).

Aguilar (2018) explained that “toxic stress occurs when demands consistently outpace our ability to cope. Toxic stress first manifests as decreased productivity, and escalates to more serious symptoms such as anxiety, dissociation, frustration, and, eventually burnout” (p. 3). Teachers staying in the profession are also showing signs of unrest and are staging walkouts across the country (Goldstein, 2018; Turner, Lombardo, & Logan,

2018). The education system is in trouble, and teachers are angry and exhausted (Carr,

2018). Prospective teachers are choosing other career paths altogether (Carr, 2018;

Goldring, Taie, & Riddles, 2014; Podolsky, Kini, Bishop, & Darling-Hammond, 2016;

Rumschlag, 2017). Teacher turnover rates costs school districts upwards of $2.2 billion a

year (Alliance for Excellent Education, 2014). Therefore, it is time to take a deeper look at the experience of teachers in the field and their experiences of frustration and compassion fatigue.

Incivility

Incivility in the workplace has been well-documented in research as a direct cause of emotional exhaustion and burnout; in addition, emotional exhaustion and burnout lead to more instances of incivility in the workplace (Koon & Pun, 2018). This cyclical problem results in decreased satisfaction at work, less effectiveness, and high attrition rates (Cordes & Dougherty, 1993). According to Porath and Pearson (2013), fifty percent of professional workers experience incivility at least one time per week. Incivility includes, but is not limited to, “manifestations of abusive supervision, public criticism, loud and angry tantrums, rudeness, inconsiderate actions, and coercion”; he goes on to explain the incidences of indifference, hostility, and use of authority for personal gain are also examples of incivility (Tepper, 2000, p. 179). According to Maslach (1993), emotional exhaustion is defined as “feelings of being emotionally overextended and depleted of one’s emotional resources,” which significantly reduce workplace accomplishment (pp. 20-21). O’Moore (2000) further explained that emotional exhaustion in the workplace is the “depletion of emotional and mental energy needed to meet job demands” (p. 336). Koon and Pun’s (2018) research focused on how emotional exhaustion and compassion fatigue affected job performance, and they found that

“excessive job demands give rise to emotional exhaustion, which, in turn, leads to instigated workplace incivility” (p. 200). According to Edwards, and Rothbard (2000), the negative effects of workplace incivility spill over into their personal lives.

Dudenhoffer and Dormann (2013) share that workplace incivility negatively affects the way workers feel before retiring to bed, thus affecting their quality of sleep negatively.

Wang et al. (2013) claim that even the next morning, the worker is negatively ruminating over the experienced workplace incivility. Rime (2009) further explains the negative widespread effects of workplace incivility by proposing a social sharing theory. Rime claims that by talking with others (a common reaction to negative experiences), workplace incivility affects a host of people rather than just the worker that experienced it. Tremmel and Sonnentag (2018) elaborate, “… it is likely that when employees experience workplace incivility, they share these negative events and tell their coworkers, family, or friends about the uncivil behavior they have encountered at work” (p. 569)

Maslach (2015) shares that incivility becomes possible because emotionally exhausted workers feel a burden that is too heavy to deal with, so they cut back their involvement with others and “pigeonhole people into various categories and then respond to the category rather than the individual. By applying [this] formula, rather than a unique response, they avoid having to ... become emotionally involved” (p. 3). Incivility is defined as behavior with ambiguous harmful, rude, and discourteous intent violating cultural respect and norms of the workplace. (Andersson & Pearson, 1999; Tepper,

2000).

Workers in the helping professions often feel ineffective and unable to truly help their clients. Maslach (2015) reported that this feeling of helplessness can create frustration and anger that may be expressed in incivility towards others, whether its malice or aversion. Maslach (2015) further explained:

Malice or hostility may occur even though professional ethical standards prohibit it ... In that case the anger may be displaced onto other people such as fellow staff members. Then it erupts in endless bickering and disputes over irrelevant or trivial matters ... they may lash out at people ... They get irritated and frustrated by the endless stream of individuals, get angry at them and blame them for their own troubles, and sometimes just tell them to “go away, leave me alone, I can’t give anymore ... A virtual hallmark of the burnout syndrome is a shift in the individual’s view of other people- a shift from positive and caring to negative and uncaring. People are viewed in more cynical and derogatory terms, and the caregiver may begin to develop a low opinion of their capabilities and worth as human beings. (pp. 27, 35, 65)

According to Sapolsky (2004), incivility is a stressor that, if experienced even intermittently for a long period of time, can cause significant health problems. Harvard

School of Public Health (2012) tracked women for ten years and found that stressful jobs where incivility was present had just as much of a negative impact on health as obesity and smoking. Lehrer (2011), in an article published in The Wall Street Journal, explained that psychosocial workplace stress impacts the lifespan. According to Porath

(2016),

... working in a group where incivility is present affects people’s mental health ... People tend to take the stress of incivility home with them, unleashing it on their family members, who in turn carry the stress into their workplaces ... [there are] links between incivility and stress and poor performance at work. (p. 18)

Incivility has a host of negative effects on not only the victim of such behavior, but the organization as well. Porath (2016) further explained her research across seventeen industries, polling eight hundred managers and employees who had been on the receiving end of workplace incivility and found:

• 48% intentionally decreased their work effort

• 47% intentionally decreased the time spent at work

• 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work

• 80% lost work time worrying about the [uncivil] incident

• 63% lost work time avoiding others

• 66% said their performance declined

• 78% said their commitment to the organization declined

• 12% said they had left their job because of uncivil treatment

• 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers (p. 17).

Other studies reported that incivility was associated with absenteeism, higher levels of anger, fear, and sadness in the workplace (Porath & Pearson, 2012), job dissatisfaction, and burnout (Kim et al., 2013; Welbourne, Gangadharan, & Sariol, 2015), higher levels of stress (Beatiie & Griffin, 2014), reduced creativity (Porath & Enez, 2009), reduced retention (Lim, Cortina, & Magley, 2008), and turnover (Cortina et al., 2002; Reio &

Trudel, 2013). Lewis and Melecha (2011) linked incivility directly to lost productivity

(Afzalur & Cosby, 2016). Porath (2016) reported that “one in eight people who report working in an uncivil environment ultimately end up leaving as a result” (p. 175).

Porath’s research is not esoteric ivory tower academic research that is hidden from the public eye; rather, Porath shares her research on TED talks, public radio, and in her newly published book: Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace. Recently, in

Nashville, Tennessee, Metro Nashville Schools hired the private law firm Bone,

McAllester, & Norton to conduct an internal investigation on employee morale.

According to the local news affiliate Channel 5,

The 11-page report ... warns ... that [MNPS] faces seriously low morale ... “Based on our discussions with district stakeholders, it is evident that the morale of all employees, throughout MNPS, is very low ... we cannot over-emphasize the consistency of this concern among employees.” (“MNPS faces morale crises,” 2019)

CNN reports that teachers in West Virginia, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Arizona, Colorado, and North Carolina protested in 2018 out of frustrations with job conditions (Yan, 2018).

If teachers are stressed due to incivility, their students are feeling the effects. In medical settings, researchers have “documented that incivility diminishes performance in medical settings” (Porath, 2016, p. 23).

MacDonald (2011) studied over 800 physicians and over 70% reported that disruptive behavior occurred in their settings and 99% attributed uncivil behavior to negatively affect patient care. Incivility leads to stress, erodes self-esteem, creates problems in relationships, makes things difficult at work, and can escalate into violence, according to Forni (2008). Laschinger, Leiter, Day, and Gilin (2009) conducted a study of 612 staff nurses to examine the effects of workplace incivility on nurses’ experiences of burnout affecting their retention intentions:

Our results suggest that workplace incivility is related…professionals’ experiences of burnout and important retention factors. Supervisor incivility…[was a] particularly important determinant of turnover intentions. The results further highlighting the need to ensure that professional [work] environments foster high quality supervisory and collegial working relationships to ensure that highly skilled [professionals] remain in their work … (p. 309) Job frustration and the disparaging feeling of not making a meaningful contribution or difference to one’s work is a result of incivility and compassion fatigue that leads to job attrition. Teachers experiencing incivility at work are at higher risk for experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout, and for leaving the profession.

Autoethnography

Autoethnography, as a research method, is used to acknowledge past and current research on a topic and assist researchers to further contribute to and extend existing

research (Wall, 2008). According to Jones et al. (2013), “Autoethnographers strive to write accessible prose that is read by a general audience, but they also try to construct the work so that it steps into the flow of discussion around a topic of interest to researchers”

(p. 23). As an autoethnographer, the primary researcher’s stories are intertwined with the data collected from participants in order to indicate shared experiences among subjects

(Marvasti, 2006). Using reflection and reflexive autoethnography as a methodological practice to include the SELF in research as opposed to studying only OTHERS, self- reflection is paramount to qualitative research (Jones et al., 2013). Pathak (2010) concluded that autoethnographers must expose the “systems that shape, constrict, disrupt,

[and] inform both the story and the storyteller in autoethnography” (p. 8). Working from their own personal experience, autoethnographers create rich descriptions of cultural experience in order to facilitate understanding of those experiences (Geertz, 1973; Jones et al., 2013).

Autoethnographers attempt to illuminate experiences that occur within systematic or cultural practices by using their insight, subjectivity, personal voice, and emotional experience to offer rich descriptions of their experiences (DeLeon, 2010, Jones et al.,

2013; Tillmann, 2009). Weems (2003) argued that the researcher should not separate her personal experience from that of the research subjects; rather, “new ideas and reflection incorporate imagination, reason, logic, and the passion that drives us to pursue research, to ask questions, [and] to take risks” comes from within the researcher’s own experience.

She postulates that “it is not possible to formulate an idea without reflection, or to develop and idea without [one’s] imagination” (p. 1). For the purposes of this study, autoethnographic research regarding the self is modeled after Judi Neal’s (2006) ideas of

what it means to be an “edgewalker” and her defined five qualities of being. Neal (2006) stated:

These qualities are the essence of the way [edgewalkers] live and interact in the world and are the result of important life experiences, and in some cases, significant spiritual transformation experiences. Edgewalkers tend to have high degrees of self-awareness, passion, integrity, vision, and playfulness. They would never define themselves as conventional, and they pride themselves on their uniqueness. And integral to all of these qualities is a sense that they are here for some larger purpose and a driving need to make a positive change in the world. (p. 42)

Neal (2006) described an edgewalker as someone who is a visionary with high hopes for the future, who is never satisfied with the status quo, and who leads by expanding boundaries outward, and reaches toward positive change in the world. Neal

(2006) described an edgewalker’s first quality of being as self-awareness. “Self- awareness of one’s thoughts, values, behavior, and a commitment to spend time in self- reflection with the goal of becoming a better person is the hallmark of an edgewalker”

(Neal, 2006, p. 26). Palmer (2007) explains that [self] identity and integrity are hallmarks for good teachers, and it takes honest self-inventory to achieve this:

... good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher...by identity and integrity I do not mean only our noble features, or the good deeds we do, or the brave faces we wear to conceal our confusions and complexities. Identity and integrity have as much to do with our shadow and limits, our wounds and fears, as with our strengths and potentials. (p. 13)

This is the starting place of this autoethnographic look into the experience of compassion fatigue. Rumi, a Sufi master, mystic, and poet born in 1207 but considered the most acclaimed poet today in the US, according to the BBC (Ciabattari, 2014) once said: “We are the mirror as well as the face in it./ We are tasting the taste this minute of eternity. We are the pain and what cures pain, both. We are the sweet water and the jar

that pours” (para. 1). In the spirit of Rumi’s wisdom, both meditation and daily reflective journaling to collect self-data are used as an autoethnographic tool in this research.

Neal (2006) defined the second edgewalker quality of being as passion: “An intense focus on your purpose or the use of your gifts in a way that adds value to your life and the world” (p. 28). Using self- reflection as a tool for research inquiry in order to bring about a positive contribution to current research and literature and positive change in a difficult profession is the hallmark of this autoethnographic attempt.

Thirdly, Neal (2006) outlined integrity as being vital to the being of an edgewalker: “A commitment to live in alignment with your core values, to align your words and your behavior, and to keep your word” (p. 31). Quoting Buddha, Neal (2006) advocated: “Meditate. Live Purely. Be quiet. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.”

Maintaining a vision is Neal’s (2006) fourth way of being an edgewalker: “The gift of being able to see what others cannot - possibilities, trends, the future, guidance from the spiritual world- and the ability to take steps to make the vision a reality” shapes the way in which authoethnographic practices are carried out in this study (p. 34).

Finding commonalities in teachers’ experiences of compassion fatigue in order to better describe its nuances is the purpose of this study. Lastly, remaining playful with a “joyful sense of fun and creativity, and an ability to keep everything in perspective” shapes this work (p. 38). Carl Jung (1957) explained that “the creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with objects it loves.”

According to Chang (2008), the conceptual framework of autoethnongraphy is grounded in four assumptions:

Culture is a group-oriented concept by which self is always connected with others; The reading and writing of self- narratives provides a window through which self and others can be examined and understood; telling one’s story does not automatically result in cultural understanding of self and others …; and autoethnography is an excellent instructional tool to help not only social scientists but also practitioners- such as teachers, medical personnel, counselors, and human service workers- gain profound understanding of self and others and function more effectively with others from diverse cultural backgrounds. (p. 13)

This study is concerned with the “social construction of lived experiences” and seeks to work within “a liberatory pedagogical framework” (Kincheloe & McClaren, 2000, p.

280).

The Use of Figurative Language

Lakoff and Johnson (1980) and Ortony (1993) published groundbreaking works outlining the relationship between metaphors and cognition, which prompted subsequent research investigating using metaphors as a tool to identify and understand human thinking. Since then, much educational research has been done using metaphors to examine teachers’ work, providing a way for teachers to communicate and convey meaning regarding their professional experiences (Inbar, 1996; Leavy, McSorely, &

Bote, 2007; Saban, 2003).

Figurative language can be used as a cognitive tool in understanding perceptions and beliefs and ultimately gaining insight into peoples’ perceptions of an experience

(Saban, 2003). Miller (1987) explained that “Metaphors can act as translators of...

[teachers’] experiences and their personal schema about teaching and learning, providing valuable insights ...” (p. 2). The use of metaphors as a tool can be a powerful cognitive

device to uncover hidden feelings and assumptions unrecognized in teachers’ experiences

(Bozlk, 2002; Leavy et al., 2007; Martinez, Saban, & Huber, 2011, Sauleda & Huber,

2001). Thompson (2015) explained that metaphors serve as cognitive tools in helping humans acquire knowledge, gain insight, and develop cognitive schemas for understanding their experiences and thinking about the world around them. Metaphors are translators that open dialogue regarding experiences that are difficult to explain

(Thompson 2015). Alta, Mcllvain, and Susman (2003) share that “Metaphors offer exciting opportunities to identify and explore tacit knowledge and behavior that are embedded in complex organizations... metaphors clarify unwritten assumptions, values, and motivators that shape variations in practice behavior” (p. 1). Expressing experiences through figurative language allows individuals to better express complex feelings, perceptions, and concepts because using imagery provides opportunities for self- expression using creative language (Thomson, 2015). Thomson (2015) explained how metaphors “act as powerful mental models through which people understand their world by relating complex phenomena to something previously experienced and concrete” (p.

123). Lakoff and Johnson (1980) explained that “metaphor is pervasive in everyday life, not just in language, but in thought and action ... they play a central role in defining our everyday realities” (p. 3). Dunn (2013) explained, “Metaphors and meaning making are an iterative process: using metaphors helps us make meaning of ourselves and the world around us” (para. 6). According to Leavy et al. (2006):

Metaphors have a coherence and internal consistency, which provide insights into ideas that are not explicit or consciously held. They can also be evocative, stimulating both self and others to tease out connections which might not be made use of by direct questions. (p. 4)

Metaphors serve as platforms to express large amounts of feelings or knowledge that would otherwise be difficult to communicate (Calderhead & Robinson, 1991). Leavy et al. (2006) explained that “metaphors can function as tools by which a teacher gains distance from their own practice; thus, metaphors can serve to make implicit knowledge explicit through reflection on representation of the concepts under study ...” (p. 4).

Maslach (2015), in her book Burnout: The Cost of Caring, quoted three of her research participants explaining their experience of burnout using figurative language:

When I try to describe my experience to someone else, I use the analogy of a teapot. Just like a teapot, I was on the fire, with water boiling- working hard to handle problems and do good. But after several years, the water had boiled away, and yet I was still on the fire- a burned-out teapot in danger of cracking. -Carol B. (p. 1) A teacher can be compared to a battery. At the beginning of the school year, all the students are plugged in and drawing learning current. At the end of the school year, the battery is worn down and must be recharged. And each time the battery is recharged it is more difficult to get it to hold its charge, and eventually it must be replaced. That is when complete burnout has taken place. -Jim Y. (p. 1) When you have to care for so many people, you begin to suffer from an emotional overload- it's just too much. I’m like a wire that has too much electricity flowing through it- I've burned out and emotionally disconnected from others. - Jane J. (p. 2)

Figurative language allows people to describe complex experiences that they cannot articulate otherwise. Metaphors, similes, analogies, and idioms allow for inferred emotion that is universally understood to be communicated in otherwise difficult to describe narratives. There is a universal knowing and understanding to figurative language that delineates the individual experience into a shared experience.

Summary

Burnout results in emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment. It has negative effects on the person experiencing it such as: Hyper

or hypoactivity, feelings of helplessness, depression, exhaustion, inner unrest, reduced self-esteem, self-demoralization, and deteriorated social relationships. Burnout also negatively affects the organization for which the person works and the people the organization serves such as: decreased quality of care, increased errors, decrease client satisfaction, decreased productivity, and turnover.

Compassion fatigue arises out of emotional exhaustion (often caused by burnout).

Compassion fatigue negatively affects the experiencer as it causes: Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, diminished creativity, inability to embrace complexity, minimizing, chronic exhaustion, deliberate avoidance, inability to listen, physical ailments, dissociative moments, a sense of persecution, guilt, fear, anger, cynicism, loss of empathy, numbness, addictions, and grandiosity. These negative affects show up in physical, emotional, and work-related arenas. High stress jobs exacerbate the experience of compassion fatigue.

Incivility in the workplace is a direct cause of emotional exhaustion (compassion fatigue) and burnout. Incivility causes those who experience it to intentionally decrease their work effort, quality of work, and time spent at work; obsess about the uncivil incident, thus losing work time; avoid others; experience a decline in work performance; be less committed to their jobs; quit their jobs; and take their frustration out on their clients.

Autoethnography exists to assist researchers to further contribute to existing data by intertwining their own story with that of their participants in order to explain shared experiences. Reflection of the self, through the self, in conjunction with others’ self- reflections occur in a collaborative manner to form a methodological practice that

informs both the stories of participants and the storyteller to illuminate experiences that exist in systems or practices for the purpose of qualitative research.

Figurative language is a cognitive research tool that allows participants to express their perceptions, beliefs, and experiences when they don’t have the words or schema to do so otherwise. Using figurative language allows both the participants and the researcher to communicate and understand complex feelings through concrete expressions commonly used and understood.

Allowing educators to use figurative language and storytelling as a means of self- expression, their experiences, and the effects of, burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility will be shared and illuminated. Narrative Inquiry through story telling is the touchstone for data collections, and autoethnography is the touchstone for data analysis.

Figure 2. Similarities and differences of incivility, compassion fatigue, & burnout.

CHAPTER III: RESEARCH METHODOLGY

Introduction

This qualitative research study utilizes narrative inquiry (Connelly & Clandinin,

1990) as the method by which data is collected from participants. Autoethnography is used to analyze and synthesize the data in order to tell the story of twenty-two teachers and their experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility. Participants’ narrative stories describe their perceptions and feelings regarding the phenomenon as they experienced it. Through participatory research, data is collected using a phenomenological approach, and it is evaluated and synthesized thematically through an autoethnographic lens. Data sets include: Personal interviews, journal entries, non-violent communication card choices, and non-linguistic visual renderings in order to triangulate findings. Member checking, triangulation, and self-reflection support the validity of the research. Participant descriptions and methods of engagement are further described in this chapter.

Qualitative Research

In the spirit of Moustakas’ (1994) research, the [researcher]:

... seeks to reveal more fully the essences and meanings of human experience; it seeks to uncover the qualitative rather than the quantitative factors in behavior and experience; it engages the total self of the research participant, and sustains personal and passionate involvement; it does not seek to predict or to determine causal relationships; it is illuminated through careful, comprehensive descriptions, vivid and accurate renderings of the experience, rather than measurements, ratings, or scores. (p. 105)

Narrative Inquiry

The practice of Connelly’s and Clandinin’s (1990) narrative inquiry is also used insofar as:

... Narrative [inquiry] is both phenomenon and method. Narrative names the structured quality of experience to be studied, and it names the patterns of inquiry for its study. To preserve this distinction, we use the reasonably well-established device of calling the phenomenon “story” and the inquiry “narrative.” Thus, we say that people by nature lead storied lives and tell stories of those lives, whereas narrative researchers describe such lives, collect and tell stories of them, and write narratives of experience. (p. 2)

According to Ellis (2004),

I start with my personal life, and pay attention to my physical feelings, thoughts, and emotions. I use what I call “systematic sociological introspection” and “emotional recall” to try to understand an experience I’ve lived through. Then I write my experience as a story. By exploring a particular life, I hope to understand a way of life, as Reed-Danahay says. (p. xvii)

Clandinin and Connelly (2006) wrote, “Narrative inquiries are always strongly autobiographical. Our research interests come out of our own narratives of experience and shape our narrative inquiry plotlines” (p. 121). “Personal narrative is necessarily subsumed within the narrative inquiry process- that is, the researcher’s own story is an inextricable part of the research she conducts, as well as her presentation of findings”

(Makris, 2012, p. 96). New ways of conducting qualitative research “…call to dismantle an "us versus them" dichotomy in research - in which there are two distinct groups, researchers and those being researched - has been made by feminist and poststructuralist approaches that advocate a dialogical process in which data collection and interpretation are co-constructed by researcher and participants through an intersubjectivity that is at the heart of social life and social exchange” (Probst, 2016, p. 1). “The intimacy of qualitative research no longer allows us to remain true outsiders to the experience under study and,

because of our role as researchers, it does not qualify us as complete insiders. We occupy the space between ...” (Corbin-Dwyer & Buckle, 2009, p. 61). Research on the human experience, by humans who experience it, cannot be separated, “The intersubjective nature of social life means that the researcher and the people being researched have shared meanings and that we should seek methods that develop these meanings"

(England, 1994, p. 82).

Makris (2012) stated, “Personal narrative is necessarily subsumed within the narrative inquiry process—that is, the researcher’s own story is an inextricable part of the research she conducts, as well as her presentation of findings” (p. 96). Makris (2012) stated:

Contemporary qualitative inquiry relies on statements of researcher positionality in order to claim a level of authenticity. By keeping track of the elements of my experience that brought me [the researcher] to this place, I hope to make my motivations and my thinking clear. I also wish to partner with my participants— rather than keeping a distance—in a sincere effort toward gaining insight. By establishing myself in the role of participant, I also hope to gain the trust of other outsider teachers, to inspire them to share their stories. Rather than placing myself at a distance to conduct research on others, I choose to conduct research with the participants in the interest of discovering our truths together. (p. 12)

Writing narratives of participants’ described experiences requires the researcher to continually reflect on both the subject’s story and the shared experiences that exist.

Clandinin and Connelly (2006) developed this method by focusing on stories that participants revealed about themselves, their experiences, and their perceptions. Vali

(2012) explained:

The stories, as told by participants and researchers, anchor the research. Reflection upon the process itself is ongoing throughout the data collection process. The methodology also demystifies the research process, in that it calls for transparency on the part of the researcher. Researchers conducting narrative

inquiry are encouraged to document their motivation, positionality, and continual presence in the research. (p. 92)

Anderson, Keller, and Karp (1998), Jennings (1994), Ladson-Billings (2009), Lareau

(2003), McCarthy (2003), Obidah and Teel (2001), and Valenzeula (1999) have all used narrative portraits and participant stories as qualitative research about teachers and their experiences.

Research Questions and Research Steps

Research Questions R1: Does the experience of incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue among educators exist in schools?

R2: How are the experiences self-described by educators?

R3: Using figurative language, such as metaphors, similes, and idioms, how do educators describe their experiences and effects of incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue?

R4: How do educators’ perspectives of these experiences affect their decisions to stay or leave the profession?

Participants

The first step was to recruit potential participants. An email was sent to educators who had, in the past several years, while working with me on other doctoral projects, expressed interest in my research topic of teacher burnout. The IRB approved email was sent inviting them to participate in the research, and to forward the invitation to any of their colleagues who might also be interested.

Data Collection

After confirming the participants and obtaining informed consent forms, participants were emailed an initial journal prompt, list of figurative language phrases, and asked to return the completed journal via email before their face to face interview. At the face to face interview, a set of IRB approved questions was asked; however, conversation was not limited to the questions. Participants were encouraged to offer rich descriptions of their responses, simply using the questions as a guide. All interviews were audio recorded, transcribed, vivo coded, and categorized. Also, at the time of the interview, participants were asked to choose from a pool of non-violent communication cards, those cards that reflected their feelings and needs pertaining to their experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility in education. Their choices were recorded.

Lastly, participants were asked to choose from a pool of magazine images those that symbolized their experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility. Their choices were recorded. Days after the interview, an email was sent confirming their card choices and image choices, and with new prompts asking them to elaborate on their selections and how they represented their experiences.

Data Analysis

Both pre and post journal responses were vivo coded and categorized for qualitative data purposes. Using Saldana’s (2016) approach, “a word or short phrase that symbolically assigns a summative, salient, essence-capturing, and/or evocative attribute for a portion of language-based or visual data… consist[ing] of interview transcripts, participant observation field notes, journals, documents, open-ended survey responses, drawings, artifacts, photographs…” (p. 3). Direct quotes from both journals and the interviews were used in the participants’ stories. All participants’ stories are a product of

my analysis of the transcripts, card choices, and image choices. In the spirit of autoethnography, the researcher also went through the same process as each participant, and her story is told under a pseudonym for anonymity.

Research Timeline

Figure 2. Methodology timeline

Participatory Research

The research questions will subsequently develop new research questions regarding what to do about the problem of compassion fatigue, which may be the jumping off point for further research. “Drawing on a long legacy of participatory and community-based researchers, we raise critical, delicate questions born from our collaborative research with those intimately acquainted with structural violence and manufactured inequality” (Sandwick et al., 2018, para. 5). The reasoning for conducting research through a qualitative lens aligns with Weiss’s (1994) research which aimed to:

1. Develop detailed descriptions

2. Integrate multiple perspectives

3. Describe process

4. Develop holistic description

5. Learn how events are interpreted

6. Bridge intersubjectivities

7. Identify variables and framing hypothesis for [future] quantitative research

The use of critical participatory research:

…is that our interrogation of our own practices is often focused, by initial felt concerns, or felt dissatisfactions, or issues, that lead us towards two kinds of deeper causes in the nature and conditions of our practice: first, on the side of ourselves as participants…and, second, on the side of the conditions under which we work, those causes are to be found in the cultural-discursive…looking ‘inside’ ourselves and ‘outside’ towards the conditions that shape how we think, what we do, and how we relate to others in this world. (Kemmis, McTaggart, & Nixon, 2014, pp. 6-7)

Data were collected using Moustakas’s (1994) methodology of a phenomenological approach to obtain a full description of the experience of the phenomenon of compassion fatigue:

a. Consider each statement with respect to significance for description of the

experience.

b. Record all relevant statements.

c. List each nonrepetitive, nonoverlapping statement. These are the invariant

horizons or meaning units of the experience.

d. Relate and cluster the invariant meaning units into themes.

e. Synthesize the invariant meaning units and themes into a description of the

textures the experience. Include verbatim examples.

f. Reflect on your own textural description. Through imaginative variation,

construct a description of the structures of your experience.

g. Construct a textual-structural description of the meanings and essences of

your experience.

From the verbatim transcript of the experience of each of the other co-researchers, complete the above steps, a through g. From the individual textural-structural descriptions of all co-researchers' experiences, construct a composite textural- structural description of the meanings and essences of the experiences, integrating all individual textural-structural descriptions into a universal description of the experience representing the group as a whole. (p. 122)

Makris (2012) further explained,

Interpretive analysis portrays a chain of events in which the researcher reads and rereads transcripts and other field texts, considers the elements of her own story that she brings to the interpretation, and lays out her story alongside the stories she is uncovering and formulating simultaneously ... the metaphor of soup [is used] to describe narrative inquiry, noting that the writing can contain varied amounts of ingredients depending on the focus of the study and the researcher’s perspective. (pp. 92-93)

Participants were interviewed using a blend of three types of interview styles: emergent in which informal conversations lead to structured questions and answers, sensory-based focusing on sensory experiences, memories, and figurative language (Pink, 2009), and interactive interviewing allowing the researcher and participants to share their stories

(Adams et al., 2015). Holman-Jones (2005) explained that “although the inquiries come from personal stories, the narratives reach out to social, historical and philosophical contexts to gain a wider significance, academically and personally ‘making the personal political’” (p. 763).

Autoethnography

The researcher acknowledges the importance of developing what Choi (2017) called the

“critical eye/I in telling and listening to our own and others’ stories about lives, selves and identities” in order to understand the experience of compassion fatigue through the metaphors of other teachers (p. 116). The process of autoethnography is woven throughout the entirety of this study through priorities, concerns, and the manner in which the actual research is conducted, compared, and analyzed. Adams, Jones, and Ellis

(2015) outlined six components of the way an autoethnographer’s personal story illuminates a qualitative study:

1. Foreground personal experiences in research and writing

2. Illustrate sense-making processes

3. Use and show reflexivity

4. Illustrate insider knowledge of a cultural phenomenon/experience

5. Describe and critique cultural norms, experiences, and practices

6. Seek responses from audiences

Being a teacher and insider-researcher allowed me to share contextual knowledge with participants which benefited my ability to decipher the oftentimes implied meanings of their responses, narratives, and stories while minimizing possible misinterpretations of the same (Chan, 2017; Cortazzi & Jin, 2006; Gregory & Ruby, 2011; Mazzei & Jackson,

2012). Participants received a journal prompt via email one week prior to their interview.

They emailed their journal responses to the researcher prior to the interview. During the interview, open-ended questions were asked. These questions were based on their journal responses previously emailed. The questions were focused on their experience of

compassion fatigue, incivility, burnout, and school culture. These responses, as well as their initial journal, were transcribed and coded. The creation of themes such as confusion, isolation, frustration, fear, exhaustion, and the feelings of being overwhelmed, unsupported, and ineffective came from the researcher’s own personal experience, and thus, are the basis of the latent thematic manner in which data were coded and analyzed.

Braun and Clarke (2006) distinguished between two levels of themes: semantic and latent: “[Semantic themes exist] within the explicit or surface meanings of the data and the analyst is not looking for anything beyond what a participant has said or what has been written; whereas latent themes identify or examine the underlying ideas, assumptions, and conceptualizations – and ideologies - that are theorized as shaping or informing the semantic content of the data” (p. 84). Braun and Clarke (2006) provided a framework for conducting thematic analysis:

1. Become familiar with the data

2. Generate initial codes,

3. Search for themes

4. Review themes

5. Define themes

6. Write-up

The ultimate goal of thematic analysis, according to Braun and Clark (2006), is to

“...identify the ‘essence’ of what each theme is about” (p. 92). One week after the interviews, participants were emailed a final follow up journal. Their journal responses were emailed to the researcher within five days of receiving the questions. Their responses were also transcribed and coded by the same themes. Opportunities for self-

expression and reflection were documented in the researcher’s notes. During the interview, participants used Ahimsa Saamagri Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Tool

Kit cards to express feelings of compassion fatigue, burnout, and incivility experiences.

This tool was used to promote:

• Connection instead of Correction

• Observations instead of Evaluations and Judgements

• Feelings instead of Thoughts

• Needs instead of Strategies

• Requests instead of Demands (Ahimsa Saamagri, Soul Spaces)

Participants chose a feeling card to reflect their chosen metaphor. This form of self-expression allowed teachers to move through the spiral of self-reflection: act, observe, reflect; act, observe, reflect ... (Kemmis et al., 2014). At the end of the interview, participants will be asked to choose a non-linguistic artistic rendering of their experience of compassion fatigue. Adopting the process of using collage as a tool to explore experience and perception, Frost (2010, p. xii) explained that choosing images by

“using intuition and imagination, creativity, and some discipline, your Story can be revealed. You can then more easily honor it, understand it, and share it.” Participants will choose from a variety of images that resonate with their experience of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility. Frost elaborates, “As you sit leaving through magazine [images] your soul will gravitate to powerful pictures with symbolic meaning for you…” (p. 2). After the interviews, participants journaled again reflecting on why they chose the particular images and how they represented their experiences. Frost expounds, “A chosen image… can unleash words in an amazing way. People who think

they have little or nothing to say [about their experiences] blossom with the impetus of a powerful picture, which they have selected” (p. 96). These journals were then emailed to the researcher. As Vali (2012) described:

I have searched for space in which to step back and look at the study from a more distant vantage point, so as to see ever more of it. In my efforts to make participant voices and stories the centerpiece of the study, I build the analysis around their narratives, with significant use of their words in the final product. Readers should gain a sense of immediacy and substance when they come into contact with the research. By shifting the balance toward participant testimony, I wish to share with the reader the elements of this work that I find so compelling. (p. 96)

Participant voices are clear through the stories they shared during the interviews, the figurative language they chose, the need and feeling cards they selected, and the follow up journals they wrote.

Trustworthiness and Validity

Clandinin and Connelly (1998, 2000) referred to “back and forthing” as a method of validity. This process allows the researcher to retell the participants’ narratives with my own story, requesting feedback on whether their stories are truthfully represented.

Using methods described by Creswell (2006) and Moen (2006) with the purpose of grounding my data in trustworthiness, I relied on several methods of validation:

1. Member checking via “back and forthing” during the interview, and after

receiving the journal prompts.

2. Triangulation using field note data, journal transcriptions, and interview

transcriptions

3. Sharing a reflexive self-narrative to describe potential bias honestly

Participants

The researcher sent emails to teachers who had expressed interest in previous class assignments on the topic of teacher burnout. The email invited educators to participate in the research project and asked them to invite other educators who might be interested. In all, twenty-two participants joined the study as collaborators and co- researchers. Fourteen of the teachers were female, and eight were male. Years of experience ranged from three years to forty-one years. These teachers represented eight different schools, all high schools except one elementary school; however, in their years of experience, elementary and high schools were represented. Eighteen participants were current classroom teachers; however, four had moved into administrative roles or guidance counselor roles in recent years, and three had left the profession altogether. The researcher knew some, but not all, of the participants prior to the study.

All participants participated in this study during their summer break months of

June, July, and August while school was not in session. Interviews took place either in the teachers’ classrooms or in a closed meeting room at a public library; teachers chose the location based on their comfort and convenience. All twenty-two teachers expressed their desire to be a positive impact in students’ lives as a chief motivator to enter and stay in the profession. Teachers who left the profession expressed missing the students. All of the participants in the study expressed a common sentiment, best described by Tucker and the National Center on Education and the Economy (2014):

These are teachers whose entire professional life has been marked by pride in

their work and their ability to use their accumulating professional experience to

make large differences in the lives of their students. But they cannot take it

anymore. (p. 13)

The participating educators shared a common motivator for entering in the profession of teaching; they all desired to make a positive impact on students’ lives, and despite their decisions to stay or leave the profession, it is the students that they care most about.

Table 2 Participant Descriptors Name Years Current Position Current Level of Still in served in Demographic School the educatio as described professio n by the n participant Bill 19 Teacher/coach/assista Low High No nt principal socioeconomi c area school Deacon 17 Administrator Urban Inner- High No City school: low income neighborhood Jade 13 Teacher Faith based High No private; suburban high performing; urban failing schools Heather 41 Teacher Large public High Yes school Lidya 33 Teacher Affluent High Yes Public School Jianyu 33 Teacher Smaller High Yes school Matt 31 Teacher Competitive High Yes High Achieving School Norman 29 Teacher Public School High Yes Nevaeh 26 School Counselor Rural School High Yes

Carly 25 Teacher (part-time) Neighborhood High Yes School: Affluent area Elizabet 21 Teacher Large High Yes h Comprehensiv e School Susan 14 Teacher/Coach Rural School High Yes Ava 12 Guidance Counselor Neighborhood High Yes School: Upper Class Fulton 10 Special Education Large High Yes Teacher Suburban School Joy 10 Assistant Principal Urban School Elementar Yes y Bea 10 Teacher Large High Yes comprehensiv e school Esme 7 Teacher Suburban High Yes School; well- to-do area Carol 6 Teacher/coach Highly High Yes competitive school Kevin 5 Teacher/coach Large public High Yes school Lucy 4 Teacher Suburban High Yes School Andrew 4 Teacher Urban School High Yes Jamie 3 Teacher Underserved High Yes School Name Years Current Position Current Level of Still in served in Demographic School the educatio as described professio n by the n participant

Summary

Participants include twenty- two teachers: fourteen female, eight male.

Participants’ years of experience in education range from three to forty-one years. All

participants represent high schools except for one participant who works in an elementary school setting. School vary in socioeconomic and demographic settings. Participants shared journal entries, personal interviews, and selections of non-violent communication cards and images. These data sets were collected and analyzed using autoethnography and presenting in narrative stories. This participatory research sought to answer the research questions: Does the experience of incivility in schools, burnout, and compassion fatigue among educators exist?; How is the experience self-described by educators?;

Using figurative language, such as metaphors, similes, and idioms, how do educators describe their experiences of incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue and their effects?; How do these experiences affect participants’’ decisions to stay or leave the profession? Due to the sensitive and emotional nature of sharing stories about difficult situations and experiences, each participant had access to mental health services through their insurance provided by the school systems they worked for.

CHAPTER IV: STORIES

Introduction

The following findings are based on the data acquired from listening, talking, recording, transcribing, coding, and categorizing interviews with educators as well as their journal entries (pre and post interview); categorizing their need and feeling card choices; and categorizing their non-linguistic image choices. Each story is unique, representing a human individual who brings his/her own experience to light. There are common threads and themes woven throughout. Just as it takes many colorful patches, sewn together, to make a quilt, these individual experiences, woven together, create a beautiful mosaic that illuminates the voices of those serving in today’s classrooms. The individual analysis of each participant’s story was done through an authoethnographical lens. My own experience of these phenomenon came into account while analyzing the data. While some might view this as bias, in the field of autoethnography, the researcher’s own story is paramount to the evaluation of the data. Member checking of stories was not done in order to protect the anonymity of the participants. The synthesized analysis of the recorded, transcribed, and coded individual stories; the coded and categorized journals; the participants choices, the figurative language choices, and their relation to the whole, is presented in Chapter V: Themes and Reflections.

Ava’s Story

An educator for 12 years, Ava chose her career out of a desire to help teens.

Drawing on her own experience of being an “out of control” teen, she desired to motivate and encourage students to make better choices. Working as a guidance counselor in an

upper-class neighborhood school, she described her experience of burnout as debilitating and forcing her to use up all her sick days as “mental health days.” Ava describes feeling a lack of respect and appreciation at work among colleagues, supervisors, and parents of students. Feeling that new initiatives are “dumped” on the laps of educators with no real time to plan or train, she describes feeling unequipped and unprepared for many of the tasks before her, especially dealing with students’ social and emotional wellbeing.

Describing the inundation of technology and social media use among teens today,

Ava reports feeling as if she needs to be a mental health counselor to meet her students' needs. However, she acknowledges she has never been trained or prepared to support students’ mental health. Describing situations in her 12 years of education, Ava shares that students have confided in her when they were suicidal, contemplating self-harm, being bullied on social media, sharing histories of abuse, and crying out for help. Feeling as if her hands are tied with the lack of resources or skillset to really help her students,

Ava leaves school many days “anxious and overwhelmed with kids going through crises.” Feelings of emotional exhaustion lead to physical exhaustion, and Ava describes having “nothing left at the end of the day for her family.” Acknowledging that she experiences such severe exhaustion that she oftentimes feels depressed and finds herself withdrawing from social situations and outside relationships, including those with family members. Reporting coping mechanisms of binge eating, over consumption of alcohol, and isolating herself, she wonders if she experiences situational depression from the stress at school.

Mentioning that she experiences compassion fatigue when traumatic incidents happen to a student or student body, she explained that every year that she has worked in

schools, she has “lost a student to suicide, car accidents, or overdoses.” Immediately having to take a supportive role for students, she has not known how to process or recover from her own grief and loss. She explains compassion fatigue as “running on empty” and feeling numb. Sharing a specific incidence of incivility with a direct supervisor/administrator, Ava describes “high levels of tension and fear” surrounding her evaluations and direct/indirect encounters such as passing in the hallways. This stress affects her ability to be productive at work due to the amount of time she spends avoiding this person. She describes the interactions as “snarky, passively disrespectful, shaming, and unprofessional.”

Ava admits to fearing retaliation at work and cannot remember why this supervisor/administrator had a problem with her in the first place. She wishes there was a third party advocate who could help her “safely” clear up any issues and reconcile the relationship; however, she does not believe there is a way to do this without “throwing herself under the bus, vulnerable to backlash and repercussions.” She feels safer “walking on eggshells every day”; however, she admits that this experience erodes trust and safety at work and affect her work performance and job satisfaction. She explains a situation with another teacher, where she witnessed the principal “traded” a teacher to another school due to similar circumstances. She explains, “They have the power to have you move to another school. I mean, there’s all these things that can happen. It puts a little fear in you.”

Table 3

Ava's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • In the dark when it Disappointed Acceptance comes to Exhausted Community students’ Frustrated Consistency mental Irritated Dependability 7 health Stressed Help • In over my Tired Hope head in Worried Rest & regard to relaxation how many Respect students I Support 9 am assigned To be heard • New work Trust dumped in my lap • Hands are tied behind my back due to lack 16 of resources and skillset to help • I'm running on empty 18 • Walking on eggshells with my admin

Deacan’s Story

A teacher for 17 years in an urban high need district and now serving in an administrative role, Deacan explains being unprepared for the disconnect he felt with students, “I’ve worked primarily for the last 11 years in schools with kids whose experiences growing up were nothing like my own.” Wishing he had been better prepared for encountering students experiencing poverty and violence, he described learning to be reflective of his own experience in order to move past biases about poverty and race that he uncovered once in the classroom. He explained,

Teaching is simultaneously pre-emptive and responsive. You need to be thinking in advance about the needs of your kids, about your own needs. You also need to be thinking reactively to what you see, in terms of next steps. You constantly have to evaluate the merits of this decision, that decision, you need to think about all your decisions and how your own bias and life-experiences are influencing them; I wish I had been better prepared for this.

Deacan defined the burnout he has experienced as being “demoralizing.”

Expressing the feelings and thoughts associated with this as “I can’t do it... no matter what I do, it won’t be successful.” He speculated that his experience of burnout originated from extreme mental and physical exhaustion, which “sucks his energy and leaves him depleted like a candle burning quickly at both ends.” Admitting that he does

“not have the capacity [energetically] to do the work anymore,” he explained that he left teaching because he was leaving work every day feeling “dejected and ineffective.”

Describing his experience, Deacan shared,

But now, into years 15 and 16, all I can summon to mind is the rejection, the dismissal, and the feeling of complete inefficacy. As I pick up my own kids from their school, as I play with them or help them with their homework, as I sit down to dinner with my family, I feel stressed out and anxious rather than relaxed and happy to be home. I am overwhelmed by the thought that I need to revamp everything about my curriculum and instruction just to avoid another day like the one I just had. But I am exhausted. I’ve expended every ounce of energy within me; I have neither the reserve nor the inclination, really, to spend anymore moments this day on lesson-design, mainly because I have lost confidence in my capacity to create something that kids will find worthwhile. Nevertheless, I sit down and try to do it ... but I begin to fall asleep. So, I shut it down and go to bed, having ignored my intention to carve some time into the day for spiritual growth, physical exercise, and even mindless relaxation. I go to bed feeling absolutely zero balance in the day: All the weight was school-related, and it crushed me. I set my alarm for 4:30, I wake up, and I do my best to re-craft the lesson I started to envision the night before; but with limited time before the 7am bell I don’t quite get it done, so I pull up to the building with something that feels incomplete and only moderately worthy of the class period. Armor on. The whole cycle starts again. I walk in each day feeling, to some degree at least, like I am about to fight a losing battle – because I lost the battle the day before, and I don’t feel like the forces on my side have regrouped or replenished.

Admitting that he experiences sharp feeling of guilt surrounding his role as a father and husband, Deacan explains that it was ultimately for his family’s sake that he stepped away from the profession.

There came a point when my wife and kids were suffering. I had nothing left to offer them. I was dropping balls and couldn’t keep my ducks in line regarding my home-life responsibilities. I became a mediocre father and husband, at best.

Despite “falling asleep before his small children each night,” Deacan describes being blind to how his burnout was affecting him and his family. “It took my wife saying,

‘You can’t go back. This is it. You can’t do this [another year of teaching] again!’”

He began reaching out to other teachers who had left the profession to inquire about changing professions, only hearing about improvements regarding their life experiences. He says,

One friend told me that he felt like he had come up out of water. Just the weight of all the wetness was gone. That he was drying off, and if felt great... I had another former-teacher tell me that just a few months out of the classroom she felt like “new money” and all her energy was back.

Both friends told him that they went through a period of withdrawal and culture shock after leaving teaching because they were no longer anxious and stressed all of the time; they admitted to not realizing the toll the job took on their lives.

Deacan describes the multiple preps, high stakes tests, unfair evaluation systems, and exposure to youth violence as “weights pulling him under water.” He shares that going numb was his first symptom and that that very numbness kept him in the profession way too long. He reminisces, “Over the course of the last six years, the school that I've been working in, we’ve lost ... 17 students to gun or gang violence... 17 students dead.” Deacon regrets that he never received any training or preparation for how to

personally deal with loss like this, nor how to assist students in the grieving process.

Feeling incredible guilt about not preventing this kind of tragedy, Deacan describes losing copious amounts of sleep regularly and losing his appetite to the detriment of his health.

First, I was emotionally distraught; then I became numb ... The magical teacher energies that allowed me to once overcome resistance, trauma, fatigue, negativity, and all the things that can go wrong at school were gone. I just didn’t have the energy anymore.

Admitting that this experience was heightened by new poor leadership on the school level, he wonders if he would have left otherwise. Describing the new leadership as starting an “emotional dumpster fire” among teachers and staff, he reports that 90% of teachers left at the end of the school year.

Experiences of incivility happened daily with the new leadership. Especially concerning to Deacan was being threatened to do unethical things “against the rules” in regard to students and documentation. Experiencing threats of retribution in the absence of compliance was extremely stressful. Having to say goodbye to his students was his most difficult task. He describes,

I remember drawing a picture on the [white] board, I drew a solid outline of a human being in black expo marker. I told my students to imagine that energy lives inside this person. Then I took a red expo marker and made lots of dots all over the person ... I explained that every time I experience a mean comment, get cussed out by a student, deal with workplace gossip, experience violence in the hallways, lose another student, or an administrator asks me to do something unethical, that’s a little cut. Each red dot is a cut, and my energy seeps out ... What I'm saying to you is that all those cuts have added up for me, and I’m no longer able to- I go home and I take it out on my wife and kids- I take it all personally- I don’t have any more energy left- I can’t sustain this and be okay.

Despite knowing he had to leave, Deacon feels guilt: because the burnout feeling is cancerous, it has overwhelmed my ability to feel like I should stay. I have long felt that staying is an act of loving generosity. That I am leaving feels selfish and even cowardly ... I feel like I’m jumping ship. Deacon, tearing up, shared his final thoughts on the matter, I have to [leave], though. I am worn down physically, woefully unhealthy in my eating habits and inconsistent with any semblance of exercise. I am tired walking upstairs. I am anxious and irritable when I am spending time with my own kids, unable to shake the fret associated with all of the tasks and good-practice obligations that I am ignoring or not completing. I haven’t been in scripture, as I pledged that I would be. I haven’t read a book for fun in ages. The school burnout has burned out every facet of my identity. So, it’s time for a change. I suspect that I will feel balanced and whole again in due time. I suspect that I will be a better dad and husband, that I will be healthier, that I will enjoy leisure again. I think the change will be good. But I wish it weren’t necessary.

Table 4

Deacan's Choices

Figurative Language Feelings Needs Images • I have felt a Ashamed Acknowledgment steady Anxious Appreciation draining of Concerned Balance my Disappointed Consistency professional Discouraged Dependability 4 energies Embarrassed Ease & Comfort • I lose my grip, Exhausted Hope and the whole Frustrated Inspiration lesson Resentful Reassurance 7 boulders back Stressed Rest & Relaxation over me and Tired crashes at the Unhappy bottom Worried • I’m a bundle of nerves 21, • I am about to fight a losing battle – because I lost 30 the battle the day before, 34 and I haven’t re-grouped or replenished • I can’t continue to go home feeling like I’m about to come apart at the seams. • The whole thing – the hours working and the cost of those hours (physically,

mentally, emotionally, spiritually) – has left me completely exhausted. I’m burnt out. • I am treading water • I am jumping ship

Lucy’s Story

A new teacher of only four years in a suburban school, Lucy describes an experience of burnout resulting from isolation and lack of support. Lucy also coaches sports for two seasons and reports working 70-80-hour weeks, including practices and games. She feels that because she is new and “low on the totem pole,” she gets stuck with new preps each year. She shares that she has attempted to find support in her department and with administration but has been met with “cold shoulders and shut doors.”

Lucy explains that she feels she is being “overlooked and dumped on” because she lacks seniority at her school, rather than being supported as a new teacher. She describes burnout from failed attempts at self-advocating and reports crying most days after school from the feelings of being overwhelmed and alone. “It’s definitely not an even playing field; I’m constantly holding my breath.” Long days teaching and coaching have her committed to work from 4:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m., and she reports that her new marriage is suffering. “Most weekends, I have to choose between spending time with my

husband or preparing for the week of teaching and coaching.” She shares that she experienced incivility during a meeting with an assistant principal, where she was told to

“shrug off the stress and not be so weak-minded” in response to her request for support.

She worries about job security if she continues to ask for help: “I am hesitant to look weak or incompetent; I don’t want to lose my job.” She explains that her self-image “has spiraled down” after gaining 20 pounds since she began teaching: “My ability to exercise, prepare healthy meals, and sleep have been reduced to almost nothing. I am definitely in an unhealthy place since staring this job.” Lucy also reports feeling depressed and anxious almost every day. She describes being a silo or island, not by choice, but because of the culture of the school:

I am not welcomed in the faculty room because I am not “in the group” of favorite teachers. I spend a lot of time alone in my classroom, when I’m not teaching or coaching; I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

Table 5

Lucy's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I’m low on Exhausted Appreciation the totem Frustrated Balance pole Stressed Rest & Relaxation • met with Tired Support Unhappy cold 7 shoulders Worried and shut doors • overlooked and dumped on because 9 she lacks seniority • It’s definitely not an even playing field 21 • I’m constantly holding my breath. • Shrug off the stress 30 and not be so weak- minded • self-image has spiraled down 36

Jade’s Story

Jade, a teacher of thirteen years, explains that she has taught in faith-based private schools, suburban high-performing schools, and urban-failing schools. She shares that she has experienced incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue in each setting, none more than the other, but certainly in different ways.

One of the most toxic work environments I’ve experienced has been in a private Christian school. The strict adherence to doctrinal compliance was extremely stressful, and if you did not obey you were admonished in department meetings. The competitive, non-collaborative, work environment in the high performing school led to a lot of gossip and back-stabbing amongst colleagues who should have been working together.

Jade describes favoritism and ambiguity around school policy as stressful and draining. “Each teacher was trying to protect their ego and territory: certain classes, class-schedules, or classrooms. It was all about politics and favors.” Jade recalled also feeling emotionally exhausted with the amount of student trauma she witnessed:

Kids were so stressed from high parental and societal expectations, they were using all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms like drugs, eating disorders, and cutting. You wouldn’t think that rich white kids living in suburbia had problems, but they did. They were walking timebombs. Emotional train wrecks. I worried about those kids all the time.

Recalling an incident of incivility at the urban school, Jade shares,

I was used to being cussed out and threatened by students. They were testing the boundaries. I had kids throw desks, lock me out of my classroom, get in my face; I even had a student spit in my face once, but none of that compares to having an assistant principal threaten me.

Jade describes an observation post-conference where she asked for feedback on why she received a certain score. I was told, “I don’t have to tell you anything. I just don’t like you. That’s why.” Reporting that conversation went downhill from there,

Jade explains that she had to get the NEA [National Education Association] involved in helping her remediate the situation; however, at the end of the day, she was strong armed to quit with put downs and threats for months to come.

I walked away. I left all my belongings. I left a classroom of personal books and belongings that took me a decade to collect. I just wanted out. I couldn’t stay one moment longer. I have never looked back.

Jade’s only regret is that she had to walk away from her students.

Those students were the reason I was there. Making a difference in their lives was my motivation, but now, all that matters is growth scores, student scores, observation scores, and playing the game. I worked 2 side jobs to pay my bills so that I could continue to teach for those kids. But in the end, it was just too much stress.

Table 6

Jade's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • back- Angry Appreciation stabbing Disconnected Consideration amongst Exhausted Meaning & colleagues Frustrated purpose • They Irritated Rest & Relaxation [students] Restless Respect 5 were Stressed Trust walking Tired timebombs Upset • Emotional train wrecks 7 • It was the last straw • Not an even playing field 11 • Admin was asleep at the wheel or turning a 15 blind eye.

Esme’s Story

“I have been teaching for seven years,” says Esme as we begin our interview, “... and I cannot even tell you a time when I was not stressed!” Esme, who teaches at a suburban school in a well-to-do area, experiences much stress over her students’ scores on high stakes tests and her personal evaluations by administration. Reporting that she does not have enough time to grade and provide effective feedback to her students, she

knows that her stress is effecting student outcome: “I get overwhelmed and anxious just thinking about how much I have to accomplish; I live in stress mode all the time. I’m always bending over backwards.” Reporting that her planning period is always taken away from her for IEP meetings and parent conferences, and that she has to work another job directly after school to supplement her teacher’s salary, she never has enough time.

Low morale among teachers at her school and lack of administrative support contribute to her experience,

Principals contribute to stress. Unfortunately, they don’t understand, or take into consideration, the amount of stress that teachers face. They don’t understand our workload, so they feel fine adding more and taking away the little planning time we have. They are completely blind at the wheel.

She describes her school culture as “dog eat dog” with teachers vying for favoritism from administration in order to obtain desired schedules, classrooms, and planning periods. She reports high levels of gossip and incivility among her colleagues,

The gossip, or ooze as I call it, is out of control. You never know who your real friends are. Most decisions around here are made from the good ‘ole boys club of admin. I’ve seen principals sexually harass female teachers and never get reported; I’ve known of teachers being talked down to in disparaging manners; I’ve watched admin and parents gang up on teachers too.

This sink or swim work environment takes its toll on the students.

Teachers are not willing to collaborate or plan together. No one shares materials or covers classes for others. It’s really competitive and aggressive. Due to this, I’m always watching my back and working to perform my best so that I don’t get called out. All I ever think about is work, work, work.

When asked if teacher appreciation and celebration were meaningful at her school, she reports only superficial appreciation nods during teacher appreciation week. In addition to her experience of stress and incivility, Esme reports “emotional exhaustion” when asked if she has ever experienced compassion fatigue. She stated,

Kids show red flags, and I stay up all night worrying about that student. I can’t separate my emotions from the trauma I see amongst my students. Sometimes, I feel triggered from my own past high school experiences. It’s so hard; no one ever told me teaching would be this hard.

Table 7

Esme's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I’m always Discouraged Appreciation bending Exhausted Celebration over Hurt Rest & relaxation backwards Stressed Trust Tired • They are 7 completely Worried blind at the wheel • culture [is] “dog eat dog” with 9 teachers vying for favoritism from 14 principals • The gossip, or ooze as I call it, is out of control. 15 • the good ‘ole boys club of admin • sink or swim work environmen 16 t • I’m always watching my back • Kids show red flags, 20 and I stay up all night worrying • I feel triggered

from my own past high school experiences 24

Fulton’s Story

Fulton is a special education teacher at a large suburban school. He has been teaching for 10 years. When asked if he ever experienced burnout, compassion fatigue, and/or incivility in relation to his work, he shared,

Oh, yeah, I experience it constantly. I feel burnt-out on a regular basis. I just finished my tenth year of teaching and have been on the brink of quitting for almost three years now. I feel like I am always burning the candle at both ends. It’s the paperwork...so much paperwork in special ed... It’s also my department head. She’s very unprofessional.

Fulton reports loving his job because of the kids, but hating his job because of one department head. He states, “I have wanted to quit several times in the past few years just because of this one person.” Fulton describes his department head as “having it out for [him]” and playing favorites.

She rides me all the time; she watches over my shoulder to catch me in mistakes. She publicly humiliates me by berating me in front of students and other teachers. She constantly finds reasons to use my planning period for other nonsense. She bullies me into doing what she wants just because she’s my department head. Other teachers notice it. They always ask me what I did to make her so mad at me. Honestly, I have no idea.

Fulton explains that he has tried to talk to administration and ask for help with this relationship; however, nothing ever changes.

It’s imbedded in the culture...favoritism...it’s an equity issue ... I try to go above and beyond to please this person, but she just hates me. The constant criticism is beginning to erode my joy for the kids. It makes me furious. This person holds all the power. She scolds me. I feel like I’m a little kid being scolded in public all the time.

Oftentimes, feeling humiliated and embarrassed in front of colleagues and students, Fulton shares,

It got to the point where my treatment was a running joke among everyone in my department. Even the students would ask me why this person hated me and treated me the way she did. It was clear to everyone that this particular leader had favorites within our department and would single me out, placing more responsibility one me without providing me with the support to do my job. Thus, it became an unlevel playing field that I was never going to be able to conquer. I had increased responsibilities, but my work was also analyzed with a fine-toothed comb to the point where it became impossible for me to do anything correctly. She simply did not like me, [and] she had the ability to make my job as unpleasant as possible by creating a hostile work environment.

Fulton is relieved that he was able to pass the English praxis and has been moved to a new department this year.

Table 8

Fulton's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I am always Angry Consideration burning the Anxious Equality candle at Concerned Fairness both ends Embarrassed Honesty • She rides Exhausted Rest & relaxation 15 me all the Guarded Trust time; she Resentful watches Tired over my shoulder to catch me in 20 mistakes • The constant criticism is beginning to erode my joy for the 23 kids • I am an island • I walk on 24 eggshells • It’s not a level playing field • I’ve run out of steam 36 • I’m always bending over backwards • Analyzed with a fine- tooth comb 42

Joy’s Story

A classroom teacher for 10 years, and most recently an assistant principal for the past 7 years in an urban school, Joy is a 17-year veteran educator who feels stuck. She reports burnout from feeling that she cannot move forward in her career based upon her race and gender. Reporting conversations she has had with supervisors and in interviews, she remembers being told that she “had hit the ceiling of her career in this district because you are not [enter race].” Discouragement and frustration overwhelm her at times, and she wonders if she should look for a new career, despite having almost achieved an EdD in her field.

I have to bite my tongue – you can do a great job...and still not are looked at for a promotion. It is all about who you know, not what you know...It makes me want to leave the district and try another district.

When asked about incivility, she reports student behavior towards teachers,

Kids were hitting teachers. A kid broke a teacher’s nose. They would run out of the room. They would bite teachers. We had to create a safe room that would allow us to assist the student in de-escalation... I had never seen or imagined behavior like this from elementary students... this was beyond classroom management. I had no training for this; I was shocked, scared, and overwhelmed. At times, I wanted to walk out and never come back.

Joy explains that she does not blame the children as she claims they have behavior issues from trauma they have experienced at home; however, she reported that she and

her fellow teachers were never trained, nor prepared to handle extreme behavior issues and that she has seen many teachers leave the field as a result. Other instances of incivility she reports involve being yelled at and threatened by parents. She recalls an incident with one parent:

I had a parent that verbally attacked me in front of students and staff. She screamed at me for 20 minutes, cussing me out and telling me what a terrible person I was. She threatened to call the police, the media, and hire a lawyer because she didn’t like a decision I had made regarding her child. The decision was appropriate and supported by my district. The parent showed up multiple days in a row. I remember crying in my office, and I dreaded coming back to work for weeks... teachers are not prepared for this. I am at my last straw- When you give 110% in the job, and do more than most, and still are yelled at, not recognized...just ignored. [I’m] looking at the end of the school year to transfer to another school.

Joy’s experience of compassion fatigue is directed at her family. She reported having “nothing left” for her husband and children at the end of the day. Feelings of numbness at home led to problems in her marriage and feeling disconnected from her kids. Joy wishes that she had been trained to expect this type of stress in her teacher preparedness program and that she had received training on how to cope with personal stress that results from the job. She recommended that future teachers take a close self- inventory on how they deal with stress and spend time learning tools and methods for coping.

Table 9

Joy's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • Hit the Disappointed Consideration ceiling of Discouraged Equality my career Exhausted Fairness • I have to Frustrated Rest & relaxation bite my Hurt To see & be seen tongue Numb 5 • I’m at the Tired last straw • I just feel totally 14 numb

Susan’s Story

Susan has been teaching for 14 years at a rural school; she also coaches a team that is nationally ranked. She reports high levels of stress in her coaching life.

Parents don’t want their kids to struggle or fail. They don’t want their kids to be second string or sit on the bench. They blame the coach for any issues with their kid. This is so frustrating. It makes my blood boil. Instead of coaching and teaching my players, I have to focus only on winning games.

She shares that she had been “cussed out, physically threatened, and harassed” because a parent didn’t like a play she called or was mad because she substituted their child in a game. Susan explains that her school principal also keeps steady pressure on her to maintain a winning season and win the championship.

My principal told me to play a certain student who should have been benched for her behavior in the locker room. I was forced to play her to win the game, but in doing so, I sent an awful message about sportsmanship and morality to the rest of the team. It’s a losing battle.

Susan explains that she is always “between a rock and a hard place” deciding between what she thinks is ethical and what is expected of her. Asked if she experiences burnout, Susan reports, “I live in burnout. I am always treading water.” She explains that in addition to coaching, she teaches English, a heavily tested subject, and that she is bogged down with grading papers. Writing has become such an important part of the curriculum and the way students are tested. To give students meaningful practice in writing, “I shoot myself in the foot by assigning papers that I will eventually have to spend ridiculous amounts of time grading and providing feedback; English teachers need more time in their planning period!” Susan continues,

I’m always running on empty in my personal life. I give the best of myself to my job. There is nothing left at the end of the day. I would love to have time to date, exercise, and have hobbies, but I just don’t. Every year I think is my last year.

Susan explains that she takes medication to help her sleep at night because she can’t stop thinking about her day. “The sleeping problems started the year one of my players died in an auto accident. I just can’t slow my thoughts down. It has affected my health.”

Table 10

Susan's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • It makes Disappointed Appreciation my blood Exhausted Autonomy & boil Frustrated choice • Between a Restless Consideration rock and a Tired Fairness hard place Upset Help • It’s a losing Rest & relaxation 2 battle Respect • I am always Support treading water • I shoot myself in 7 the foot • Running on empty

Nevaeh’s Story

“This is my 26th year,” Nevaeh proudly states as the interview begins. A veteran teacher and now a school counselor at a rural school, Nevaeh shares that she has always known she wanted to be an educator. “I spent the first 17 years in the classroom

teaching, and then went back to school to get a graduate degree in school counseling; I’ve been doing that ever since.” Nevaeh shares that the reason she left teaching and coaching was due to an unsupportive principal who was always highly critical of teachers,

I felt angry, used, frustrated and wanted to quiet immediately. I literally walked on eggshells until I decided to resign at Christmas break. I had run out of steam for coaching and at the time, I thought education in general.

When asked about her current experience of burnout as a school counselor,

Nevaeh explains that the paperwork and documentation aspect of her job keeps her working through lunch breaks and at school for hours after the school day ends. “I live at school during the week; I eat all three meals at my desk; I have no time to recharge my own battery.” Asked how this burnout affects her life, Nevaeh shares that she has gained a lot of weight, always feels tired, and doesn’t sleep well at night. “I’ve tried to re- balance my life more times than I can count, but the job always sucks everything out of me. The job is a parasite, leaving very little left.”

Nevaeh was able to make a link between her experience of burnout and compassion fatigue,

In the past two years, I’ve lost two students to suicide. Both students sat on my couch many times, and I missed it. If I wasn’t so exhausted all the time from the paperwork part of my job, I would be more alert to the most important part of my job- the students.

Nevaeh experiences profound guilt and blames herself for not preventing the tragedies.

“The guilt keeps me up at night which perpetuates my exhaustion.” When asked about students’ metal health issues, Nevaeh explains that her department is overwhelmed with kids who are depressed, anxious, suicidal, self-harming, abused, or dealing with perfectionism, and they don’t have the training or resources to support them. “We need

more wrap around services; we’re a sinking ship, and we need help.” Nevaeh describes her experience of incivility as being left out and isolated at work, “I oftentimes feel left out of essential conversations, left out of the loop, the last one to know about an important change happening in the school. I felt like the outsider, definitely a silo, but not by choice.” She attributes this to cliques among the teachers and staff and a culture of gossip and favoritism.

It’s clear who’s in and who’s out. We are not a team. We do not have each other's backs. If I think about it, it will make me cry. I just take it so personally. People are just downright mean to each other. It makes the job so much harder.

Neveah attributes lack of appreciation for what the guidance counselors actually do for the school as another factor contributing to her burnout:

People don’t realize, even the teachers, what we [counselors] deal with and what we do ... I always say we are the sewer system of the school. As long as things are working well, you don’t realize how important we are, but things get stopped up, you realize. We just keep things flowing; there are so many different components to our job; we feel very misunderstood.

When asked if there is anything further, she wants to share, Nevaeh brings up money,

My biggest concerns and fears about my job are not being able to buy a home in the area ... I feel as if I work to survive and that is not a good feeling. I am single and it’s hard to make it on [a teacher] income. This scares me for the last years of my retirement. I am sinking money into renting but can’t find a home that is affordable. If I had that security, I would feel totally stable to work longer.

Table 11 Nevaeh's Choices Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I felt Angry Appreciation between a Anxious Authenticity rock and a Concerned Connection hard place Exhausted Honesty • My cup is Guarded Rest & relaxation empty Hurt Respect • Walked on Irritated 16 eggshells Restless • Run out of Tired steam Worried • No time to recharge my own battery 17 • The job always sucks everything out of me • The job is a 21 parasite • we’re a sinking ship 24 • left out of the loop • a silo, but not by choice 27

Matt’s Story

Matt has been teaching for 31 years, in addition to facilitating National Honors

Society and being the school’s data coach at a very competitive, high-achieving school.

Matt reports easily working a 60-hour week, on average. Matt doesn’t feel as if he experiences compassion fatigue, but he does report high levels of mental and emotional exhaustion.

A lot of times, I wake up multiple times throughout the night because I am worried about my students. I worry about them not learning and performing well on their assessments; I worry about my lesson plans; I worry about their emotional wellbeing. They just seem so at-risk these days.

Matt shares that he works through his lunch almost every day and that has left him feeling cut off from his colleagues: “I feel a lot of times I’m alone, an island; I’m just so overwhelmed and tired.” When asked to pinpoint what makes him feel burned out, he immediately answers:

Lack of time! My list grows longer and longer, and there is no extra time to get things done. I come home stressed every day. I’m single and live by myself, but my house gets so messy because I don’t have the energy to clean it. This stresses me out more. It’s cyclical...I’m like a hamster on a wheel ... I can’t get ahead.

Matt reports feeling disconnected from school leaders,

I don’t think they are aware of what we [teachers] are experiencing... they are out of touch... it’s like they have completely forgotten what it’s like to be in the classroom... due to this, they are unable to support teachers ... They have no idea that the vibe is really bad in this school because they are out of touch. It’s like they are driving blind.

Matt attributes this lack of awareness and sense of understanding to a disconnected and fragmented school culture, “The right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing...It’s the culture. I think it starts from the top down.” When asked why he has stayed in the profession for so long and why he continues to stay, Matt has one answer: the kids. “I’m here for the kids. Not for me. Not for anyone else. That’s the only reason I put up with the bullshit. If we all walk away, what happens to the kids?”

Table 12

Matt's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language I’m an island Anxious Acknowledgment I’m like a hamster Concerned Efficiency & order on a wheel Exhausted Rest & relaxation Stressed To matter & Tired belong 19 Worried

Elizabeth’s Story

Elizabeth is a Spanish teacher in a large comprehensive high school; she has been teaching for 21 years. She begins our interview explaining how she loves watching her students learn, “I love when the lightbulb goes on. When they [students] realize they have learned a new skill and are understanding and speaking Spanish. I feel like I’m giving them a super-power. It’s awesome to see their surprise and joy!” Elizabeth explains that this moment is what keeps her in a high-stress job where she feels constantly “overworked and behind.” She shares, “It is impossible to get everything done. The teaching, planning, grading, providing meaningful feedback, differentiating, communicating with parents, documenting, attending professional development, testing...

The work is never done. It’s like laundry. It just keeps piling up.” When asked how this affected her wellbeing, she says,

I definitely struggle in my relationships with friends, family, my spouse, and even my kids. They constantly tell me that they are not getting enough of me; they are not getting enough of my time and attention and that when I am with them, I’m not present. I know this is true because even when I’m with them, I’m thinking of all the extra work waiting for me. My mind is like a hamster on a wheel, it always comes back to the unfinished work.

Elizabeth confessed that she shoulders guilt and shame for never being enough in all areas of her life, and she often thinks about changing careers to improve things for herself and her loved ones. “I’m really hard on myself because I feel called to teach, but sometimes the sacrifice is too much.” Elizabeth reported working two to three extra jobs at times, especially around the holidays, to make ends meet.

This last year I waited tables every Friday night, Saturday and Sunday mornings. Because I had no weekend, I had no recuperation time from school. I went straight into a new week exhausted from the week before and the weekend job. My downtime was gone.

Elizabeth elaborated on the low pay for teachers,

If teachers were paid more, they wouldn’t have to work extra jobs. They could take care of themselves and their relationships better which would allow them to deal with stress of teaching in a more productive way. It would also prevent teachers from leaving the profession. Every teacher I know thinks about leaving and finding a job that compensates them fairly. I have friends who don’t have the three degrees I have and make three times more than I do in lower stress jobs. It’s so tempting to just be done with it and walk away.

When asked about experiences of incivility, Elizabeth shared that

no one has been outright uncivil; however there definitely is a group of preferred popular teachers that get whatever they want. They are a close-knit group. They have the principal’s ear, and they have more power in the building. It’s unspoken, but you must be on their good side, or you are screwed. I don’t like playing the game and kissing up to people, but it’s the nature of the beast. You won’t last here if you don’t.

Elizabeth shared that her experience of compassion fatigue feels like numbness and apathy. Attributing this experience to dealing with students’ trauma and losing students to suicide, she explained that she doesn’t have the “bandwidth” to deal with trauma on this level. “I just check out because the only other option is to ride the emotional rollercoaster, which I’ve learned will eventually crash and burn.” Elizabeth shares that her apathy for what happens at school is also fueled by the constantly changing protocol, “Every year, everything changes. Changing curriculum, changing grading system, changing evaluations and testing protocol, changing scoring systems.

It’s ridiculous how quickly the admin ditches a system we just learned for the next shiny bright thing.” The changes add to teachers’ workloads as they must master new systems in short amounts of time.

You’re constantly relearning new systems so often that you are never able to get good at one thing you’re doing. How do we even know if the system we are ditching was working? Not enough time has passed for us to be able to measure

it! I just don’t even care anymore. When anything new is introduced, I just shrug my shoulders and say “Whatever.”

Elizabeth shares that her apathy and numbness at school has definitely contributed to apathy and numbness at home. “I can’t be all things to all people,” she says, “so I just won’t be anything.” She shares that she is currently separated from her husband and that he has told her that he will not move back in until she quits teaching. “It’s a choice I’m not ready to make. I can’t just walk away from my retirement and pension. They have me between a rock and hard place. Either way, I lose.”

Table 13 Elizabeth's Choices Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I love when Angry Efficiency & order the Disappointed Help lightbulb Exhausted Honesty goes on Miserable Meaning & • It’s like Numb purpose 19 laundry. It Restless Predictability just keeps Tired Rest & relaxation piling up Upset Respect • My mind is like a hamster on 20 a wheel, it always comes back to the 31 unfinished work • They have the principal’s ear 36 • I don’t like playing the game and kissing up to people, but it’s the nature of the beast • No bandwidth to deal with trauma like this • how quickly the admin ditches a system we

just learned for the next shiny bright thing • They have me between a rock and hard place

Bill’s Story

Bill taught for 19 years before leaving the profession. A history teacher, coach, and later, an assistant principal, Bill finally left education due to burnout because he didn’t feel he was able to make a difference in the lives of kids anymore. Bill explains that at his school teachers were “the closest thing to involved parents” that they [students] would ever have. Sighing, he shares that education requires so much more of teachers and admin than teaching and running a school. “You have to be all things at all times to the student, including the parent, the security guard, the therapist, the tutor, the provider of meals and school supplies ... it just goes on and on.”

Bill explains that at his school situated in a low socioeconomic area, parents don’t want to be involved until they think their child’s rights had been violated. “If the parents don’t like a certain teacher, or teacher’s decision, they will run to the news outlet or get a lawyer. Teachers learn the skill of self-preservation and choosing battles strategically as a sink or swim skill.” Bill explains that parents will defend their children even if they have cussed, spit, threatened, or assaulted teachers. “They blame it on the teacher. It’s always the teacher’s fault.” He continues,

Once, a student told me he was going to “kick my mother-fucking ass after school” while pushing me up against the wall. Two other students pulled him off

me before the resource officer showed up. That kid was back in my class the next day. The parents blamed me for provoking him.

Bill also shares that he’s been sexually harassed in a bullying manner by female students commenting on his body and making inappropriate gestures. “They wanted me to respond, but I just walked away. I reported the incident and was told they had a troubled home life; of course, they were in my classroom the next day.” Bill asks,

“Where else is this kind of behavior tolerated in the workplace?”. I wanted to help these kids; that’s why I stayed, until I just couldn’t anymore... it makes my blood boil.”

Bill tells a story that happened the spring of his final year.

The school didn’t have enough money to buy the materials for this cool history project I wanted to do, so I paid for everything out of my own pocket, hundreds of dollars. We worked on the project all quarter, building a module of what we were studying. We were going to enter it in a district competition. That spring, I was absent for four days in a row because I caught the flu. When I got back, everything was either missing or destroyed. No one would rat anyone out. The sub reports didn’t mention anything. I was so defeated. I just gave up. It was the final straw that broke this camel’s back. After that, I was finding myself losing my patience quickly, feeling apathetic, and dreading coming to school. I put in less work to my lesson plans, not because I did not care about my kids anymore, but because I felt drained. I was pouring everything out and no one was refilling me. I felt like a silo.

Table 14

Bill's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • Teachers Angry Acknowledgment learn the Despair Appreciation skill of self- Exhausted Balance preservatio Frustrated Rest & relaxation n and Irritated Respect choosing Restless battles Tired 2 strategically Worried as a sink or swim skill • No one would rat anyone out • It was the 4 final straw that broke this camel’s back • It makes my blood 7 boil • I was so defeated • I was pouring everything 10 out and no one was refilling me • I felt like a silo 19

Bea’s Story

Bea is a math teacher at a large comprehensive high school. She has been teaching for ten years. Bea describes a violent encounter with a student when asked about burnout.

The first day of summer school, I was assaulted by one of my students that I had taught the year before ... a desk was thrown at me, and I was thrown against the wall ... I was frightened ... I had to be taken to a clinic for x-rays ... I thought my elbow was broken ... I kept thinking, “Do I want to keep doing this?”

Bea reports that her teaching job has taken a toll on her wellbeing.

I cry all the time, like hyperventilating crying, I don’t sleep at night... I’m just not sleeping ... I have a weight sitting on my shoulders ... my husband finally made me go to our doctor. He prescribed sleep medication and anti-depressants, but I really think it’s just the job ...

Bea also explains how she is constantly having personal belongings stolen from her. “I’ve had my purse stolen twice, my sweater on the back of my chair, my laptop, my cell phone. Something is always missing, and I am very careful about where I leave things.” Describing feeling violated by her students, Bea explains that she has gone numb,

I don’t experience compassion fatigue, because I don’t feel anything anymore. In December, one of my student’s older brother was killed in a drive-by shooting ... I don’t know how to relate to that. I don’t know how to support my student. It really affected him, but I did not know what to do. Teachers aren’t trained to be crisis counselors.

When asked if teacher appreciation and celebration would help her feel more noticed and fulfilled, Bea responds,

[Teacher appreciation] feels contrived...it’s just a popularity contest, which makes you feel worse... sometimes it’s a slap in the face ... like the time the part time P.E. teacher won Teacher of the Year ... it was just politics because he was bereded in the newspaper the week before.

Asked if she will continue teaching she said, “I just fake it till I make it, I guess.”

Table 15 Bea's Choices Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I have a Afraid Acknowledgement weight Angry Help sitting on Ashamed Reassurance my Anxious Rest & relaxation shoulders Concerned Respect Exhausted Security • It’s a slap in 8 the face Hurt Support Scared Shocked Stressed Upset Worried 10

Jianyu’s Story

Jianyu, a 33-year veteran teacher, is ready to quit. He describes a recent interaction with an assistant principal that was uncivil,

Last year, I had an administrator pull me out of my classroom. He ripped me up one side and down because a student of mine had complained that he hated my class and that I was the reason he didn’t like coming to school. The crazy part was this administrator had never actually observed me teaching or been in my classroom. This student had lots of other issues that had nothing to do with me or my class, but the assistant principal blamed me for everything. I just stood there like a deer in headlights. He yelled at me in the hallway in front of other students and teachers, and all the students in my classroom heard it too. I was humiliated and blind-sided. It was so inappropriate and unprofessional. I stood there and thought, “Just walk down the hall to your car. Be done. Quit. It’s not worth it.”

Jianyu decided to stay and try to work things out, but after a long conversation with the assistant principal, it was clear the two of them would just have to co-exist and avoid each other at school.

I don’t understand what he has against me. He never fully explained his reasons for being so angry with me, and he never apologized for lambasting me publicly. I was so hurt, embarrassed, and angry, but I just decided to take the higher road and move on. It still affects me today.

Jianyu describes his experience of compassion fatigue is directly linked to student trauma.

We have students die in car accidents and from suicide. We are a smaller school, and everybody is affected. They bring in grief counselors for a few days, but, honestly, the kids seek support from teachers they have relationships with. I can’t tell you how many hours I have spent counseling kids who are really struggling with loss and grief. I have no training for that. I just lie in bed at night and pray I’m doing a good job. I also feel pretty upset myself. I get angry when we lose a kid. I just feel so pissed off that a preventable situation has taken the life of someone so young. It’s traumatic. It’s times like this when I have to just hold it together even though I am coming apart at the seams.

When asked about burnout, Jianyu shares that he has mentored new teachers every year, and he watches them exit the profession after only a couple years.

They leave because it’s just too hard and there’s not enough money. The hours are so long. You always take work home on the weekends. You’re buried under your work. It’s just not conducive to a young person’s life. Why would they stay when they can make so much more [money] doing something that isn’t as stressful? Even new teachers who are highly motivated to teach coming in only last a few years. It’s just so damn stressful.

Table 16

Jianyu's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I was Angry Fairness humiliated Disconnect Honesty and blind- Exhausted Rest & relaxation sided Hurt Respect • You’re Shocked To be heard Tired buried 8 under your Upset work • I am coming apart at the seams 9 • Like a deer in headlights

Carly’s Story

Carly has been teaching for 25 years. She has taught in several different states, at several different schools. Carly experienced severe burnout after her first few years as a teacher, and since then has taught part-time only.

My first few years of teaching were exhausting. Because I was new, I was given every club, every extra-curricular duty that no other teacher wanted. I guess the mentality was that I had to “do my time” since I was the new teacher. It almost killed me. In addition to trying to learn how to teach, I was running fundraisers, planning school dances, in charge of homecoming floats, and supervising clubs almost every day after school. I was married with young children, and my husband finally told me to stop. My family was taking second fiddle to my

school, and my husband finally put his foot down because he said I wasn’t healthy, and my family never saw me. I took a year off to recover, and then I went back part-time. Since that time, I have never gone back full time.

Carly remembers incidences of incivility with students when they didn’t get the grades they wanted.

[The student] got very angry with me. He was tall and a large boy. He stood so close to me, towering over me, and began yelling and screaming at me, in front of the class. The class was scared; I was scared. My classroom was no long a safe place ... It was a very aggressive and volatile encounter ... I think he just exploded.

Carly reports suffering from anticipatory anxiety after that encounter because the student was placed back in her class the next day, and she was constantly worried if he would act up again. Carly remembers a similar situation with a student’s parent,

He was so angry with me for not being able to meet with him before school. He showed up and began screaming and yelling in the school office. I was called down to talk to him, but he just yelled and cussed me out in front of everyone. The SRO had to escort him out of the building.

Carly remembers feeling heightened level of anxiety and sleepless nights for weeks following this incidence. “It’s just not something you can shrug off and leave at the door.

You take it home with you. It affects your entire life.”

Table 17

Carly's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • It almost Exhausted Acknowledgment killed me Resentful Care & kindness • My family Shocked Reassurance was taking Stressed Rest & relaxation Tired second 7 fiddle to my Uncomfortable school Worried • My husband finally put 15 his foot down • I think he just exploded • It’s just not 21 something you can shrug off and leave at the door

Kevin’s Story

Kevin is a high-school history teacher and basketball coach. He has been teaching for five years. When asked about burnout and compassion fatigue, Kevin focuses in on one story.

I taught a set of twins that year. They were night and day different. One of them played ball for me, and the other was into fine arts and “coming out of the closet” that year. Yeah, he was finally letting people know that he was gay. I remember both boys struggling and being uncomfortable that year. I found out in the middle of 2nd period, one random day, from overhearing my students talking, that the

brother, who was gay, tried to kill himself the night before. I asked my principal after class and found out that it was true. Luckily, he had not been successful, but he went with oxygen for too long and suffered brain injury. A couple of us teachers went to see him after school. He was in the ICU, naked, wearing diapers, in a netted crib. This seventeen-year-old boy that had been sitting in my class the day before. I was traumatized. I remember losing my breath. What did I miss? Why didn’t I see it? Could I have prevented it? I had to teach and coach his brother all year. I watched his brother sink into depression. The school told us not to talk about it at the parents’ request. I felt like my hands were tied. I couldn’t help a struggling student. It still keeps me up at night.

When asked about experiences of incivility, Kevin shares his opinion that the evaluation process for teacher is uncivil,

I don’t understand why we are evaluated so often and so microscopically. My wife is a CFO of a major company, and she doesn’t get evaluated this much. Teachers are either walking around scared to death of the evaluation scores, or they just don’t care anymore. It’s so stupid. Teachers are treated like fools who are ruining the education system and need to be watched and course-corrected at every turn.

Table 18

Kevin's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I remember Exhausted Acknowledgement losing my Frustrated Appreciation breath Guarded Consideration • sink into Irritated Rest & relaxation depression Numb Respect • I felt like Regretful Security Tired my hands 1 were tied Uneasy • Scared to death of the evaluation scores 9

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Lidya’s Story

Lidya is a 33-year veteran of teaching. Currently running the Fine Arts

Department and teaching theater at her school, Lidya reports working an average of 12 additional hours each week during off-season, and 20-plus hours extra during show season. In it for the students, Lidya shares that her greatest joy is “watching students grow and develop.” She reports pressure from parents, administration, colleagues, alumni, and students to always do something bigger and better the following year.

When you build a program, you always want to go higher than previously reached. It’s a lot of expectation, a lot of time, and a lot of resources... People have no idea the amount of work it takes to put on a show. People have no idea. They just want the end result to blow them away. I feel like I’m on a one-man rowboat working against the current. My reputation is always on the line.

Lidya shares that her work commitments have negatively affected her marriage and that her parenting time is minimized,

My kids have grown up at this school, in this theater. Most nights, they eat fast food while I finish work... I thought it would get easier as they got older, but it gets harder because of all their activities. I have had to miss so many games and concerts for my own kids to work with my students on the show. It takes its toll. My family definitely suffers. They know they take a back seat. At the end of the day, I’m just treading water.

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Lidya shares that “nobody acknowledges the amount of work I put in. It’s like, why am I doing this for someone else’s kid? I don’t even know where my kids are? I’m tired of being dominated by my job.” Sharing an incident of incivility when she was accused of misappropriating money by the school bookkeeper, Lidya explains,

I don’t know which was worse, being falsely accused or the principal not having my back. No one had my back. I realized I needed to help myself, so I found all the documentation that I had done my job accurately, and then no one even apologized to me for accusing me of something I didn’t do. I felt abandoned, like an island. The following year the bookkeeper left and the next year the admin left. That was good because had they not, I would have left. I can’t work under someone who doesn’t trust me or respect me enough to apologize.

When asked about compassion fatigue, Lidya refers to her Christian faith as helping her when she is exhausted,

I pray a lot. I pray for strength. It takes me a lot longer to recuperate from the long work hours. I know that soon I will need to look for something else. Not that I don’t love what I do, but as teachers have more and more demands [put on them], like testing and paperwork, it takes the joy out of teaching.

Lidya continues,

It’s like the Israelites when they were in captivity. They had to make bricks. Then the Pharaoh got mad so he [said], “let’s take away their straw, but they still have to make just as many bricks, even more!” That’s what happens to teachers. They have to do more with less.

Lidya also mentions teacher pay, “We are paying our teachers below the poverty level, sometimes, and then we wonder why teachers leave the profession. They just can’t work three or four jobs to support their families.”

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Table 19

Lidya's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I’m on a Exhausted Acknowledgment one-man Frustrated Care & kindness rowboat Hurt Celebration working Shocked Community 15 against the Stressed Consideration current Tired Dependability • My Worried Rest & relaxation reputation is Respect always on the line • It takes its 23 toll • They know they take a back seat • At the end of the day, I’m just 32 treading water • I felt abandoned, like an island 33 • Let’s take away their straw, but they still have to make just as many bricks, even more!

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Carol’s Story

A high school English teacher of six years, Carol is also the cheer coach for a nationally-ranked team at what she considers a highly competitive school. She explains that between after-school practices, games, and competitions, fundraisers, and camps/clinics all summer, she easily works a 60 to 70-hour week. She shares her frustration that people don’t understand how hard she works.

People looking in say, “you get three months off in the summer and all your holidays; what more do you want.” It’s so frustrating because that’s not actually how it works... I work over all my breaks either grading, planning, or coaching. I have to bite my tongue, so I don’t fly off the handle. I feel so misunderstood and unappreciated.

Carol shares that most people don’t respect the workload teachers’ carry,

“[People] have such a negative view of teachers. Everyone knows that teachers don’t make enough money...most teachers have to have second and third jobs... [We] are just completely not respected.” She reported her experience of burnout as “complete mental and physical exhaustion. The feeling like you can’t get on top of what you have do...I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I can’t get [done] what I need to get done. I’m always buried under my work.” Explaining that even when she tries to enjoy her family and friends, she feels guilty for not working on school,

It’s teacher guilt. If I actually am doing something for myself with my friends, going to dinner with my husband, in my head I’m thinking, “I could have gotten ten papers graded just now... I shouldn’t be [taking time off]” ... It’s like you should be doing your work ... I don’t even get to fully enjoy the things that I’m doing to try and relieve stress because it’s just adding more stress by not doing the [schoolwork] I need to do. My thoughts about school are just on a loop in my head.

Carol explains that her time with her husband is also negatively affected because she has no more emotional energy to give after a day at school. Feeling depleted and

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unable to have simple conversations regarding anything but school is “almost impossible because I’m drained.” Feeling the pressure to find more balance in her work life because she wants to start a family soon, Carol shares,

We want kids within the next couple of years, and it stresses me out because I know once I have child, there is no grading at home, no planning at home. It is not going to work ... There will come a point when I have to leave [the profession], but I don’t want to.

Carol continues by discussing the lack of compensation she receives as a teacher as a barrier for long term career goals.

I want to have a child. I can’t afford to have a baby ... We can’t afford daycare. We can’t afford certain things that would make life easier ... My husband is a GM of a restaurant, and he has servers that didn’t even graduate high school that make twice as much as I do. They are servers! I have a college degree and teach children and I get paid half of what they do...it’s so frustrating and makes my moral low. How is that the way our society values teachers? I make thirty thousand dollars a year. That is unsustainable. Teachers give their whole lives to the education of others, the caring of others. The bettering of our society by trying to create a decent human that walks out of their room. How is this possible?

Carol shares an incident of incivility she experienced at a former private school,

One day, the principal of the school came to my class and grabbed me, pulled me outside of the door, which was just a swinging glass door, you can hear through it, outside of a classroom ... [She] was screaming at me, in the middle of the school day, when students and teachers were around ... She never, ever tried to get to know me enough to figure out ... that I’m not the type of person to not finish my duties ... I felt unsupported. I felt personally attacked. I felt really uncomfortable too because ... some of the kids I taught ... heard me get yelled and screamed at by the principal. [It] was for no reason because I finished the yearbook faster than any other teacher had ever finished the yearbook in the history of the school... [I thought] thank God I’m getting out of this place ... good riddance ... I don’t want anything to do with [the school] anymore.

Carol reports incivility at her current school as more passive and consisting of gossip talk behind other teachers’ backs. Despite the different type of incivility, Carol explains, “it still takes up my mental energy and makes me less productive and more

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isolated.” When asked to talk about her experience of compassion fatigue, Carol shares an incident when a student confided suicidal ideations with her,

He didn’t tell me to my face, he wrote it on paper...on the back of a test and two other papers ... I have other students who tell me about difficult situations too, like, eating disorders, cutting, or pressure from their parents... It’s hard to know what to say ... It affects me.

She then shares about a student who died in an accident,

I don’t know how to handle this. Nothing in my training prepared me for that. Nothing in my schooling was about social-emotional wellbeing, nothing was about suicide, alcohol abuse, drugs, nothing these kids are dealing with that could lead to something tragic. I don’t know how to handle this.

Carol laments that in her teacher preparedness program, she learned how to create lesson plans, grade, conference with parents, remediate, but not deal with the real human adolescent child. When asked if she’s ever considered leaving the profession, Carol explains,

I follow quite a few vloggers on Instagram; several of them left this past year to do online teaching. They’re not going to be in a physical classroom, just because it’s too much. They were doing too much-sponsoring five different clubs-they wanted a life-they wanted children-I think that is my alternative to burnout; I think about it all the time.

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Table 20

Carol's Choices

Figurative Feelings Needs Images Language • I have to Annoyed Acceptance bite my Anxious Appreciation tongue, so I Concerned Clarity don’t fly off Confused Connection the handle Disconnected Consideration • I’m always Discouraged Consistency buried Exhausted Dependability 23 under my Frustrated Honesty work Irritated Peace • I’m drained Shocked Rest & relaxation Stressed Respect • My 26 thoughts Tired Trust about Uneasy To be heard school are Unhappy To matter & just on a Worried belong loop in my head 27

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Norman’s Story

Norman, a teacher of 29 years, teaches English and Psychology. One year away from retirement, Norman explains that he chose a career in teaching to help people grow,

“Teaching, for me, is a good profession because I get to help others grow, to find their potential. I also get to grow as an individual too.” Norman states that he is “still in love with teaching” despite the exhaustion he suffers. When asked to elaborate on his exhaustion, he explains that paperwork (grading) and rigid daily schedules fuel his experience of fatigue,

As an English teacher, [grading] is so overwhelming, even the best strategies do not change that...the incredibly restricted schedules that teachers have to follow- early classes followed by hour-to-hour bells with virtually no breaks in between. It creates exhaustion by the end of the day...by the end of the day, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel; nothing is left.

Norman shares that his fatigue keeps him from pursuing passions outside the classroom and limits his personal relationships.

Teaching is a strain on my marriage. My wife is very understanding, but she’s come to realize that I’m married to my job, too. She, unfortunately, has to take a back seat to that. She is very understanding about being the spouse of a teacher. It is a struggle... When I go home, I am completely and utterly depleted. This is why it’s a strain on my marriage.

When asked about experiences of incivility, Norman recalls an incident early in his career,

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I was a young teacher. I think it was my second year. I took for granted the idea that parents would naturally back up a teacher ... I had a student who had some behavioral problems in the classroom. I called his parents. His father was extremely aggressive, immediately took his son’s side, threatened me physically ... it made me so cautious to work with parents. From that point forward, I always walk on eggshells with parents.

He went on to share a more recent experience,

Last year, I had a student who completely cussed me out, just a list of obscenities... [it made me feel] horrible, horrible. That was a very negative emotional experience for me. It hurt, especially because I was reaching out to this student... He was nonresponsive in my class... just sitting there like a zombie. I knew something was wrong. I saw him out in the hallway, later that day- so I approached him and said, “I want to check on you, how are you doing?” Before I could get another word out, he just called me obscene names! I was completely shocked, blown away! It came out of the blue!

Norman then remembers an incident with a colleague,

During a department meeting, a colleague asked me a question regarding a writing program I was in charge of. I answered her, and she completely erupted in a fit of rage, and she just unloaded on me. She was yelling at the top of her voice. She went on to say very inappropriate things to me in front of the other teachers. This was not an isolated incident; she was a teacher who had a history of bullying her students, her colleagues, and even our principal, who was, unfortunately, a conflict-avoider; we could not have functional department meetings because she was so explosive. She would drop bombshells every chance she could, and then she would act like she had no idea people were upset. Every teacher was aware of her volatility and was very cautious and guarded in what they would say because she would look for things to grab and attack. She was just the classic bully who enjoyed the power that she had on her students, the department, and the school. When I went to the principal, he did nothing. He just completely dismissed it. I had to make the decision. I just absolutely cannot work in a toxic environment like that, with that lack of support from an administrator. I had to start looking. That’s when I looked for another job. I left a school I was at for 16 years, where I loved the people I worked with outside of this one person. I have to work in a healthy environment. I will leave a toxic environment.

Describing how his experiences affect his students, Norman uses an analogy,

[It’s like] a new mom with a newborn who’s waking up every two hours to feed the baby in the middle of the night. [The mom] is short tempered the next day, but it doesn’t mean [she] loves her baby less.

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Table 21 Norman's Choices

Figurative Language Feelings Needs Images • By the end of Disconnected Authenticity, the day, I’m Discouraged Autonomy & scraping the Exhausted choice bottom of the Frustrated Care & kindness barrel; Stressed Connection Tired Empathy & self- nothing is left 10 • She, Worried empathy unfortunately, has to take a back seat 22 • I always walk on eggshells with parents • I was completely shocked, 32 blown away! It came out of the blue • She would drop bombshells every chance she could • [It’s like] a new mom with a newborn who’s waking up every two hours to feed the baby in the middle of the night. [The mom] is short tempered the next day, but it doesn’t

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mean [she] loves her baby less

Jamie’s Story

Jaime, a math teacher, has been teaching for three years. She shares, “From a pretty young age, I felt very strongly about social justice; this motivated me to become a teacher with Teach for America, working in schools where there is a shortage of teachers and underserved kids.” Describing her experience of compassion fatigue, Jamie explains,

I struggled with emotionally being able to separate how I felt about hearing my kids’ stories and the trauma that they went through and experiencing that secondary trauma in my own life. I really struggled to be able to lay that aside when I left [for the day]...I wasn’t able to separate the two...it was affecting me emotionally and mentally constantly.

Describing her experience of burnout, Jamie says,

My experience of burnout is linked to an unsupported and dysfunctional administration at school...As much as I loved the kids, I didn’t feel supported; there was no structure or consistency in place to allow me to do my job, I felt like I was having to pick up the pieces of [administrations'] job. My job was already hard enough, and it just felt like too much... I felt like the administration was not only unsupportive, but actually working against me, and that exacerbated the feeling of burnout and fatigue. They were spotlighting all the little things teachers were doing wrong, nitpicking things that didn’t affect my students or class in any way, like being at my post instead of greeting students entering class.

Describing incivility, Jamie reports feeling exhausted and out of personal resources and tools to deal with negativity at work,

I felt defeated, extremely unsupported, and demoralized because of disruptive students who would cuss me out or verbally attack me and tell me that they hated me. There were no consequences from admin. I was on my own. No one had my back.

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Jamie elaborates that she also experienced incivility with an administrator after an observation that didn’t follow protocol. “I began to feel rage and then eventually apathy.

I would just shut the door and avoid admin at all costs. There was no team anymore.

Teacher morale was in the toilet.” When asked about the effects on her wellbeing, Jamie admits that she lost a lot of sleep and was irritated and short tempered at work and in her personal life. She went on to explain that stress became normalized for her,

Guns were being found in the building regularly. It became more normalized on a weekly basis. I just thought, I’ll lock the door and keep teaching. I learned survival techniques...it’s this weird tension in your brain that thinks, “okay, I’ve just got to deal with this.” There are guns in my school, maybe in my classroom. Keep moving ahead. Don’t think too much about it. Your brain and body adjust to this level of stress as a protective mechanism, but you don’t realize the overall effect it is having on your wellbeing.

Jamie shares that she was not prepared for these situations in her teacher training program, “It’s an onslaught of emotions, violence, trauma, guns, burnout, exhaustion. I don’t know how you could prepare for it, but I wish there was a way.” Sharing that she left her school for a new position at a magnet school, hoping for less stress, Jamie expressed,

I couldn’t stay. I had to leave. I was pouring out, and pouring out, and pouring out, and not being refilled...nothing left to give. I’m hoping that moving to a different school, I will be refreshed and that I won’t completely burn out and need to leave the profession.

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Table 22 Jamie's Choices Figurative Language Feelings Needs Images • They were Angry Acknowledgment spotlighting Confused Authenticity all the little Discouraged Consistency things Exhausted Cooperation teachers were Frustrated Dependability Irritated Efficiency & order doing wrong, 8 nitpicking Shocked Fairness things Tired Predictability • No one had Upset Respect my back Rest & Relaxation • Teacher Security morale was Trust in the toilet Understanding 25 • It’s an onslaught of emotions, violence, trauma, guns, burnout, 33 exhaustion • I was pouring out, and pouring out, and pouring out, 37 and not being refilled

Heather’s Story

A 41-year veteran teacher, Heather communicates that the reason she became a teacher centered around learning, both for her students and herself. “There’s never a day that I don’t learn something from the students, different interpretations, or different ways of seeing the world...it’s probably one of the reasons I’ve stayed [in the profession] for so

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long.” Defining burnout as her experience of “feeling like I’m done, and I can’t do it anymore. I go home and think “I’m not going back,” but then I do. It’s usually exhaustion, and I’m better after a good night’s sleep.” Expressing frustration at the constant “learning curve” of new systems, curriculum, textbooks, policies, procedures, etc., that are introduced year after year and “thrown upon teachers’ laps,” Heather shares,

“You just learned what to do; you just familiarized yourself with something, and then it changes ... It’s more of a burden to teachers than a help.”

Heather explains that lack of time is also a stressor,

I’ve got a tight time schedule, and I’ve planned that I’m going to do this. I’m going to get these papers graded. I’m going to call this parent. I’m going to deal with this- then a student comes in with some crisis. Something going on that ends up taking a lot of time, or, by the way, we’re going to have this meeting... Or you have to cover someone’s class during your planning period ... Things that you weren’t expecting to be added to your plate when you already have a full plate.

Depicting her stress as affecting her sleep, Heather adds, “I don’t sleep well at night or get enough sleep, and that makes a difference. It’s the workload and ruminating over students’ problems, thinking about confrontations with parents or confrontations within my department.” Expressing feelings of ineffectiveness, Heather wonders, “Why am I trying so hard? Am I even making a difference? Why don’t I have this figured out by now?” Chronicling the many hats she has to wear in her job – parent, counselor, confidant, cheerleader – she expresses feelings of fatigue and exhaustion, “I’m spinning plates at work.”

Incivility, according to Heather, is present in passive aggressive ways such as gossip, favoritism, and lack of trust. Reminiscing of a previous school where all teachers shared a common lunch period and built close relationships, Heather expounds,

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We [in my current school] don’t have much time to be together because we don’t have the same lunchtimes. In fact, I never ever sit down and eat lunch. I’m either talking to a student or on the computer trying to finish something, so we don’t have any common time together without a common lunch ... I just found out, this morning, that a member of my department has been in the hospital for four days. Wow, I didn’t know that. We don’t see or talk to one another anymore. Our department is spread out all over the building; we aren’t even geographically close. We are islands.

Remembering a direct incidence of incivility with a principal, Heather details,

He held a meeting, during the summer, requiring all department heads to be here from 9am to 2pm with no breaks, no lunch, no snacks. It was very disrespectful and inconsiderate. He went on to ask us to be his spies, his eyes and ears, and report back to him on other teachers in our departments. We were all like, “I don’t think so.”

Table 23

Heather's Choices

Figurative Language Feelings Needs Images • Learning Annoyed Acknowledgment curve of new Discouraged Clarity systems, Exhausted Community curriculum, Frustrated Consistency textbooks, Guarded Dependability 11 policies, Impatient Predictability procedures Irritated To Matter & • Added to Tired Belong your plate Trust when you 15 already have a full plate • The many hats I wear in my job 18 • I’m spinning plates at work. • We are islands

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• Thrown upon teachers’ laps 19

Andrew’s Story

Andrew is entering his fourth year of teaching at an urban school. He was drawn to the teaching profession out of his passion for equity, “Once I started thinking of it from an equity perspective, I became interested in helping. Helping kids who need help is my personal mission statement and goal in life.” Andrew’s experience of burnout is tied to his feeling of “losing faith in whether what I’m doing matters.” He shares that he experiences this feeling intermittently when he perceives he is or is not supported by his school leaders.

With a job that’s so hard and so demanding, you need a lot of motivation. Some of it comes from you, but some of it also comes from your fearless leaders. [Last year], that was not there ... that contributed to burnout.

Describing how leadership let him down, he explains,

Communication was just really bad. The things she [the principal] would say would change all the time. I think the culminating effect of that was that I stopped wanting to pay attention to what she was saying, and I stopped considering her a leader in the school even though she was the principal ... she created a lot of drama too, and that was really draining. Teachers weren’t buying in anymore. Trust was deteriorating. Teachers started to leave in the middle of the year. It caused so much anxiety for those of us left. We were watching teachers dropping like flies, burning out big time.

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Andrew shares that teachers, at first, tried to approach administration, hoping for improvements around communication, and they felt “placated” rather than heard and understood. He describes new policies that required teachers to “jump through hoops” rather than focus on students. Andrew remembers feeling mentally and physically exhausted in a way he hadn’t before,

I wasn’t able to do anything in my life other than working, sitting on my couch, and sleeping, “I don’t want to go out and do anything because I need to recharge at home.” My roommate would call me at 7:30 pm most nights to remind me to come home because I would still be working in my classroom.

Sharing that he easily spends an additional twenty hours per week on school planning and grading, Andrew explains that the cumulative physical effect of fatigue makes the job unsustainable for the long term: “sometimes I think, ‘I just can’t do this.’”

Andrew did not report experiencing compassion fatigue due to being numb. Working at a school where student violence is prevalent, he expresses not being moved by the incidences of finding guns at his school,

Kids bring guns to school every day. My first year, [a student] shot someone at school. My second year, they found the gun before anything happened. I know kids in my room have guns on them. It’s just part of the job.

Describing incidences of incivility witnessed, rather than experienced himself,

Andrew admitts he tries to “fly under the radar” so that he doesn’t get “targeted.” He explains:

I have felt disrespected by not being in the loop, or having the principal not follow through on what she says, but I try to avoid people so that I don’t get sucked into the drama, but just witnessing it affects me. I have seen fellow teachers be sexually harassed, spoken to in an abusive way, and threatened by both students and administration. I’ve seen it all happen around me ... I worry that I’m next. I know at some point it will happen to me. When it does, it might just be the last straw; I don’t think I’ll be able to let it roll off my shoulder. It keeps me guarded because it’s not [a] safe environment. It’s an energy suck.

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Andrew adds that he checks out to cope with the stress by playing mindless games on his phone; he admits that the stress makes him less effective at his job. He explains that stress is a “shadow always looming over you” and feels “like an enormous weight on my shoulders.”

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Table 24 Andrew's Choices Figurative Language Feelings Needs Images • Teachers Annoyed Appreciation weren’t buying Confused Balance in anymore Disconnected Rest & relaxation • Teachers Discouraged Trust dropping like Exhausted flies Restless • New policies Stressed 2 that required Tired teachers to Worried jump through hoops • Fly under the radar so that he doesn’t get 4 targeted • Not being in the loop • Sucked into the drama 7 • The last straw • I don’t think I’ll be able to let it roll off my shoulder • It’s an energy 8 suck • Stress is a “shadow always looming over you 19 • An enormous weight on my shoulders

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Summary

Each narrative story is the result of the participants’ interviews, journal entries, feeling and need card choices, figurative language used, and visual images selected.

Some stories are lengthier and more detailed than others due the length and detail in which the participant shared. Commonalities amongst participants stories exist as do differences.

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CHAPTER V: THEMES & REFLECTIONS

Introduction Reflecting upon the data collected from participants, common themes emerged.

All twenty-two participants spoke directly to, or alluded to, the experience of exhaustion and their need for rest and relaxation. Twenty-one participants shared that they experienced feeling overloaded and not having enough time to get their work done.

Twenty-one participants also reflected that they did not have enough support or felt overlooked at their jobs. Thirteen of the twenty-two teachers shared feelings of inequity regarding how they were treated or held accountable by their administration. Nine of the twenty-two participants mentioned inadequate compensation in some regard. This data only reflects what participants focused on in their interviews, journals, and selections.

Reflections

Teachers are the soldiers in the trenches; the army on the frontlines, the people doing the day to day, minute by minute work of instructing our youth to become intelligent and moral adults who can make positive contributions to society. Yet, despite the important role teachers play in our world, they oftentimes feel unseen, unheard, and uncared for. Conversations regarding school reform cannot continue to neglect the proper care and treatment of teachers. According to Strauss (2017, para 2), “…teacher education enrollment dropped from 691,000 to 451,000, a 35 percent reduction between 2009-2014- and nearly 8 percent of the teaching workforce is leaving every year, the majority before retirement age.” The red flags are raised, and teachers are unhappy. The ship is sinking,

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and instead of arguing over why, when, and how, we must take the time to listen to our teachers.

Palmer (2007) explained:

In our rush to reform education, we have forgotten a simple truth: reform will never be achieved by renewing appropriations, restructuring schools, rewriting curricula, and revising texts if we continue to demean and dishearten the human resource called the teacher on whom so much depends. Teachers must be better compensated, freed from bureaucratic harassment, given a role in academic governance, and provided with the best possible methods and materials. But none of that will transform education if we fail to cherish- and challenge- the human heart that is the source of good teaching. (p. 4)

The experience of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility do exist among educators today. Described in their own words, oftentimes using figurative language, teachers’ experiences and the effects have real and lasting consequences. The decision to stay or leave the teaching profession is a personal one that can be determined only by teachers themselves; however, whatever the choice may be, sacrifice is inevitable.

Discussion surrounding reoccurring themes needs to be a priority going forward.

After synthesizing the data received from each participant, the researcher narrowed down the most common issues regarding burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility experiences reported. The common themes were created by the researcher in response to data analysis:

• Rest • Compensation • Accountability • Support and Acknowledgement • Overload and Lack of Time.

Upon creation of common themes, the researcher sifted through current research to make connections and set the stage for future recommendations.

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Theme: Rest

A commonality between participants was the reporting of lack of sleep or sleep disturbances; all twenty-two educators said they were exhausted due to their work.

Participants considered emotional and physical exhaustion to be directly linked. Ava,

Lucy, Deacan, Jade, Joy, Esme, Matt, Susan, Andrew, Heather, Jamie, Norman, Carol,

Lidya, Carly, Bill, Elizabeth, and Nevaeh described feelings of emotional and physical exhaustion leaving them nothing left at the end of the day. Andrew, Norman, Carol,

Lidya, Carly, Bea, Ava, Elizabeth, Joy, Lucy, and Deacan all reported exhaustion leading to negative effects in family relationships. Specific sleep disturbances were mentioned by

Heather, Jamie, Norman, Kevin, Carly, Jianyu, Bea, Matt, Nevaeh, Susan, Esme, Lucy, and Deacan.

Nagoski and Nagoski (2019) revealed that lack of rest and sleep traps people in cycles of stress, burnout, and compassion fatigue. Seppala and King (2017, para 1-2) further explained:

In analyzing the General Social Survey of 2016, we found that, compared with roughly 20 years ago, people are twice as likely to report that they are always exhausted. Close to 50% of people say they are often or always exhausted due to work. This is a shockingly high statistic — and it’s a 32% increase from two decades ago. What’s more, there is a significant correlation between feeling lonely and work exhaustion: The more people are exhausted, the lonelier they feel. This loneliness is not a result of social isolation, as you might think, but rather is due to the emotional exhaustion of workplace burnout.

Training teachers on the evidence of rest and sleep and pursuing teaching schedules that align with research in order to support the kind of rest that will alleviate the stress cycle are vital. Nagoski and Nagoski (2019) explained,

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Rest doesn’t just mean sleep ... Rest also includes switching from one type of activity to another. Mental energy, like stress, has a cycle it runs through an oscillation from task focus to processing and back to task focus. The idea that you can use grit or self-control to stay focused and productive every minute of every day is not merely incorrect, it is gaslighting, and it is potentially damaging to your brain...we are built to oscillate between work and rest. When we allow for this oscillation, the quality of our wok improves, along with our health. (pp. 156- 157)

Current research should be considered when creating school schedules. Teachers need mental rest time between classes in order to rest their minds. The idea that teachers can teach back-to-back classes with a 20-minute lunch break and 45 minutes for planning, that is interrupted more times than not, and not fall victim to professional stress is ridiculous. Teachers’ inability to sleep, due to stress, makes them more susceptible to further stress; thus, their continued experience of stress is cyclical. “In one study, professionals who got inadequate sleep were rated by their peers and their employees as having lower emotional intelligence. Marital satisfaction, too, is linked to sleep quality because gross fatigue increases a persons’ inflammatory response to conflict (Buysse,

2009; Nagoski & Nagoski, 2019; Nowack, 2017; Troxel, 2010; Wilson & Jaremka,

2017). Lack of sleep, leading to gross fatigue, also impairs brain functioning, working memory, long-term memory, attention, decision-making, hand-eye coordination, calculation accuracy, logical reasoning, and creativity (Kilgore, 2010). Lack of steady and sufficient sleep affects collaborative communication and decision making in the workplace; it also increases the possibility for hostile, uncivil, and unethical workplace behavior (Barnes & Holenbeck, 2009; Byrne, Dionisi et al., 2014; Christian & Ellis,

2011; Harrison & Horne, 2000; Nagoski & Nagoski, 2019). Given the fact that all twenty-two interviewed teachers reported exhaustion from the stress of incivility,

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burnout, and compassion fatigue, education on this topic needs to be pursued. Culturally, sleep is under-rated, and to neglect sleep is to suffer a suffocating noose, according to

Walker (2017), who goes on to explain that an important shift must occur in the way we view the importance of sleep personally, culturally, professionally, and societally. The research of Demsky, Fritz, Hammer, & Black (2019, p. 235) reveals that workplace incivility is associated with sleep quality because people tend to dwell and ruminate on negative interactions and experiences. They go on to suggest interventions:

Those who can detach themselves mentally from this cycle… do not suffer as much sleep disruption as those who are less capable of detachment… [the research] suggests a two-pronged approach to interventions: address workplace incivility (such as by raising awareness, ensuring protections and accountability, training and modeling appropriate behavior, and training supervisors on aggression prevention behaviors; and improve emotional resilience skills (such as offering trainings on recovery from work and mindfulness practices, emotional/social intelligence skills, etc.

It is critical that training modules be created to bring awareness of incivility in schools, training principals on ensuring protections and reconciliations efforts amongst staff, creating a cultural of appropriate behavior, and promoting a campaign of aggression prevention (Porath & Pearson, 2010; Yang & Caughlin, 2017). Furthermore, professional education on creating and improving emotional resiliency and detachment skills should be offered (Hahn et al., 2011; Hulsheger, Feinholdt, & Nubold, 2015).

Theme: Compensation

Jade, Esme, Fulton, Nevaeh, Elizabeth, Bill, Jianyu, Lidya, Carol, and Andrew mentioned the stress of finances due to inadequate teacher salaries. According to Tucker and the National Center on Education and the Economy (2014), in their report, Fixing

Our National Accountability, “For a long time, the United States has operated its schools

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on the assumption that it could get the teachers it needed while calling them professionals but paying them far less than it paid most professionals, often less than it took to support a family” (p. 8). The stress of working other jobs and the decreased time for rest and recuperation for teachers have caused many to leave the field. Still, however, teacher pay has not increased. Tucker and the National Center on Education and the Economy (2014) continued:

In those professions, when a shortage develops, the market raises compensation until we have enough professionals to meet the need. But we have never been willing to allow the market for teachers to operate that way. Evidently, the only thing that really mattered was that there was a warm body facing the students. (pp. 8-9)

Drucker (1969) explained:

In the top performing countries, teachers have extensive career ladders, designed so that those teachers who are judged to be superior performers climb the ladder of responsibility and authority, earning more money as they go up that ladder it, the blue-collar worker expects a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work; the knowledge worker expects an extraordinary day’s pay for an extraordinary day’s work. Professionals want very much to have an opportunity to distinguish themselves and to earn the recognition, compensation, authority and responsibility that comes with distinguished performance. (p. 36)

While U.S. teachers spend more hours teaching students, they make considerably less than teachers in other parts of the world (Risher, 2012). Risher (2012), stated, “We have a problem and compensation is a thread that runs through all of the discussions related to recruiting and retaining effective teachers. It is also true that experts agree raising teacher pay levels and switching to pay for performance will help to make the career more attractive to well qualified graduates and contribute to improved performance”

(para. 17).

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Theme: Accountability

Jade, Esme, Fulton, Nevaeh, Jianyu, Kevin, Jamie, and Susan referred to experiencing burnout, compassion fatigue, or incidences of incivility regarding observations, interactions with administration, or pressure to meet test score goals.

“Test-based accountability and teacher evaluation systems do not simply fail to improve student performance. Their pernicious effect is to create an environment that could not be better calculated to drive the best practitioners out of teaching and to prevent the most promising young people from entering it” (Tucker & National Center on

Education and the Economy, 2014, p. 11). It makes no sense to them to measure all their accomplishments by student scores on tests of low-level English and mathematics literacy when they want them to understand where political liberty came from and what it takes to sustain it. Reducing everything they have tried to do for their students to scores on low-level tests of two subjects makes a mockery of their work (Tucker & National

Center on Education and the Economy, 2014, p. 12).

Theme: Support and Acknowledgment

Incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue due to lack of support from administration was reported by multiple participants: Lucy, Jade, Esme, Fulton, Joy,

Nevaeh, Matt, Elizabeth, Bill, Kevin, Norman, and Jamie. In fact, Lidya, Ava, Lucy,

Nevaeh, Jianyu, and Carol all reported experiencing fear or anxiety over an encounter or anticipated encounter with administration leaders. Poor ineffective leadership was mentioned as a contributing factor by Andrew, Deacan, Jade, Fulton, Lidya, Joy, Heather,

Susan, Matt, and Jamie. Only two educators mentioned teacher appreciation efforts, and both Esme and Bea said they were not effective and popularity contents.

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A hallmark symptom of burnout is a reduced sense of accomplishment; therefore, acknowledging and celebrating accomplishments of teachers is a direct way to combat teachers’ burnout. Maslach (2015) described the intense conditions under which teachers work:

Consider a teacher who must educate a class of thirty students; deal with all of their personal and social needs on a daily basis; discipline, influence, shape, manage, and direct their behavior over long hours- and, then, face possible friction and hostility from parents, the uncertainty of layoffs from administrators, and the ever-present threat of budget cutbacks from the community. Such a teacher is at risk for burnout. (p. 9)

The initial inspiration, enthusiasm, and energy that teachers once had quickly diminishes due to high stakes testing and accountability, a broken teacher observation system, low teacher pay, the push to eliminate tenure and pay increases for higher education degrees, and negative media images of teachers. This unfortunate situation leaves teachers at risk for burnout and attrition (Heitin, 2012; Lopez, 2011; DuFour & Mattos, 2013).

Blase and Blase (2000) surveyed 800 American teachers asking them to identify and describe what contributed to the improvement of their classroom instruction. One of the key findings was that authentic praise by a principal significantly affected their motivation, self-esteem, and efficacy, and it fostered “teacher reflective behavior, including reinforcement of effective teaching strategies, risk taking, and innovation/creativity” (Blase & Blase, 2000, p. 134). The relationship between teacher and principal cannot be underrated; therefore, strong principals and principal training programs are needed. “Secretary of Education, A. Duncan, in his address to the National

Association of Secondary School Principals directly addressed the need to strengthen school leadership and find better ways to train school principals ... In this address,

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Duncan compared being a principal in today’s schools as a sink-or-swim experience and suggested school leaders must shape the school’s culture and be instructional leaders first and foremost. In closing Duncan stated, “Great principal’s nurture, retain, and empower great teachers. Poor principals run them off” (Duncan, 2013, p. 1). Dufour and Marzano

(2011) reported that teachers feel most supported when building leaders make them feel competent and capable of being effective in their jobs. Supportive leadership on the school level is paramount to combatting burnout and compassion fatigue among teachers because research shows that teachers believe administrators need to fully understand the challenges that teachers face and support them (Paulsen & Martin, 2014). Teachers believe supportive and collaborative relationships between teachers and principals creates a culture of unity where it is possible to overcome negative uncivil experiences at work

(Barrett & Breyer, 2014). Acknowledgment and support are also needed when teachers feel caught in workplace incivility. Creating a response strategy for workers who experience incivility in the workplace so that relationships can be reconciled is paramount. Left without a support and a plan, teachers have no avenue for pursuing rectification of uncivil experiences except to confront, ignore, or gossip, all of which are not beneficial. Hershcovis, Cameron, Gervais, & Bozeman (2018, p. 163) conducted a study of professionals from various occupations who reported workplace incivility and reported, “Our findings suggest that confrontation and avoidance are ineffective in preventing reoccurrence of incivility. Avoidance can additionally lead to increased emotional exhaustion, target-enacted incivility, and lower psychological forgiveness.”

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Theme: Overload and Lack of Time

Heather, Carol, Bea, Jianyu, Kevin, Jamie, Nevaeh, Elizabeth, Bill, Ava, Deacan,

Jade, Esme, and Joy referred to being overloaded with work that they either were not adequately prepared nor trained to do well or had enough time to complete well.

Consistent stories of educators not being prepared to handle student crises and how to regulate their own reactions afterward led to burnout and compassion fatigue. Too much work and too little time created stress cycles producing incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue as well.

Maslach (2015) explained that overload is a common experience for burned out professionals:

Whether it be emotional or physical, the burden that exceeds the person’s ability to handle it is the epitome of what we mean by stress. Too much information is pouring in, too many demands are being made, and it is all occurring too fast for the person to keep up with it. For the professional helper the overload translates into too many people and too little time to serve their needs adequately-a situation ripe for burnout. (p. 62)

The inability to handle the amount of work, and do it well, leads teachers to make sacrifices in their personal lives and their wellbeing. Outside relationships, health and wellness routines, hobbies, and other interests are oftentimes ignored to make more time for the job demands. This is a recipe for disaster because in addition to being unsustainable, teachers will end up feeling like a failure in some aspect of their life.

“When these fantasies of omnipotence are not tempered by the recognition of actual limitations, ideals and expectations will be out of touch with reality. As a result, there will be discrepancies between aspirations and actual achievements- and feelings of failure

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will be sure to follow” (Maslach, 2015, p. 109). According to Tucker and the National

Center on Education and the Economy (2014), “U.S. teachers spend 80% of their time teaching in front of a class [and] U.S. teachers have only 3-5 hours per week of built in planning time” (p. 33). Administrators and school boards would be wise to consider their teachers’ need for more time as critical; decisions regarding teaching schedule, teacher preps, and student load need to be considered and addressed.

Summary

Themes of rest, compensation, accountability, support & acknowledgement, and overload & lack of time emerged from participant narratives. Going back to existing literature to understand these themes is included as they were brought to light as a result of the study, not prior to. Further research focused on the need to address these themes in the field of education.

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CHAPTER VI: RECOMMENDATIONS & LIMITATIONS

Introduction Considering the common themes amongst data sets, recommendations for improvements and future study emerged. Once again, turning to the field of medicine for answers, research led to the Mayo Clinic’s studies regarding solutions to physician burnout. As leaders in the field of physician professional satisfaction research, the Mayo

Clinic developed strategies to address the epidemic of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, and these strategies are easily adaptable to the education field.

Recommendations created at Adelphi University also provide a framework for empowering schools to combat the burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility epidemic amongst educators.

Recommendations

Compassion fatigue, burnout, and incivility among educators cannot be ignored.

Teachers are crying out for help. Teachers are unhappy with working conditions in their field. Teachers are experiencing low morale. Teachers are using their voice to advocate for change. Future studies must continue to look at the incidence, experience, and effects of this phenomenon in education. In the best interest of teachers, students, schools, districts, and society, these problems must be addressed. Addressing teachers’ experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility is not only the moral and ethical response to human suffering, it is a business investment in the present and future of education. Joshua Altman, Associate Director of the Student Counseling Center at

Adelphi University, stated, “Senior administrators have a responsibility to create a culture of self-care in the workplace” (Kafka, 2019, p. 2). The return on investment for teacher

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wellbeing has never been adequately studied; however, if we turn to the research pertaining to the wellbeing of medical professionals, the numbers are staggering. Costs associated with turnover, training, decreased productivity, financial risks associated with long term viability, and decreased effectiveness, school safety, and reduced student outcome are important components of the conversation. According to Shanafelt, Goh, and Sinsky (2017),

Burnout comes at a substantial cost to the organization especially considering that burnout can be infectious and that cynism and loss of engagement can spread from one member of the team to another. Such burnout at the unit or team level seems to adversely influence the quality of [teaching]. (p. 1828)

Dyrbye, Johnson, Johnson, Satele, and Shanafelt (2018) suggested the strategy of

... periodically perform[ing] brief self-assessments using validated measures to evaluate [educators’] wellbeing, receive feedback on how their wellbeing compares to other [teachers], and learn when their level of distress may negatively affect their job performance or personal health. Greater self-awareness may lead to earlier adjustments in behaviors, hopefully preventing the severity of distress from getting worse and lowering the likelihood of undesired outcomes. (p. 447)

The Mayo Clinic began measuring its physicians’ professional satisfaction in 1998, later including a burnout measurement in 2010, including a measurement of engagement and satisfaction with work-life integration. At first, the Mayo Clinic measured its workers every two years; however, in 2016, they began measuring every year and benchmarking their data against the national average to create a barometer of the health of the organization (Shanafelt & Noseworthy, 2017). In order to combat the low scores they saw, they created a nine-fold plan to promote physician well-being (Shanafelt &

Noseworthy, 2017, pp. 133-141):

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Strategy 1: Acknowledge and Assess the Problem

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems will take responsibility to acknowledge these issues within schools and garner feedback from all stakeholders regarding the issues.]

Naming the issue and being willing to listen demonstrates that the problem is recognized at the highest level of the organization and creates the necessary trust for physicians and leaders to work in partnership to make progress. Once the problem is acknowledged, it is necessary to measure… well-being as a routine institutional metric.

Strategy 2: Harness the Power of Leadership

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems must consider these issues when hiring school leaders and educate and prepare the leaders to deal with the problem of teacher burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility within schools. School leaders need to be held accountable for the well-being of their teachers.]

A 2013 study of more than 2800 physicians at Mayo Clinic found that each 1- point increase in the leadership score (60-point scale) of a physician’s immediate supervisor… was associated with a 3.3% decrease in the likelihood of burnout…

1. Right leaders must be selected

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2. These individuals must themselves be developed, prepared, and equipped for

their leadership role.

3. The performance of leaders should be regularly assessed by the individuals

they lead.

Strategy 3: Develop and Implement Targeted Interventions

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems will use an external consulting team within the district to meet with school leaders and their educators to gain the pulse of the school. Recommendations for improvement and interventions will be made.]

This interaction was based on the principle of participatory management, collaborative action planning, and understanding how the drivers of burnout were manifest locally.

1. Assemble a consulting team

2. Consulting team meets with organizational internal leaders

3. Consulting team conducts focus groups with burned out workers

4. Consulting team reports to internal leaders the “stories, experiences, and

examples” gleaned from focus groups

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Strategy 4: Cultivate Community at Work

[Recommendation for field of education: Schools will protect teacher workroom spaces and lunch areas. Schools will also protect teacher planning periods and provide more time for collaboration and focused work without students.]

Deliberate organizational strategies are needed to counter the forces eroding connection with colleagues.

1. Around the same time that many institutions were eliminating their

physicians’ lounge, we introduced a dedicated meeting area with free fruit and

beverages, computer stations, lunch tables, and limited food for purchase…the

space rapidly became an incubator for peer interaction and comradery…

2. We found that providing physicians with 1 hour of protected time every other

week to meet with a small group of colleagues and discuss topics related to

the experience of physicianhood improved meaning in work and reduced

burnout.

Strategy 5: Use Rewards and Incentives Wisely

[Recommendation for field of education: On a federal level, school systems will increase pay for teachers and allow for career growth goals to be set and rewarded. Schools will support ongoing education and community involvement for teachers by allowing them time and resources to pursue.]

1. Consider what “carrot” is used as a reward.

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2. …Structure compensation in a way that facilitates individual and

organizational health over the long-term.

3. Rewards such as greater flexibility (which can facilitate work-life integration)

4. Or protected time to pursue personally meaningful aspects of work

(community outreach, research, education, or mentorship) may allow

physicians to shape their work to create personal and professional fulfillment.

Strategy 6: Align Values and Strengthen Culture

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems and schools will create a living document that supports the mission and vision of the schools and routinely seek feedback from all educators on its relevance. This document will be used to hire, train, and hold all members accountable.]

1. Be mindful of factors that influence culture

2. Assess ways to keep values fresh

3. Periodically take stock of whether actions and values are aligned

4. Ask workers to evaluate how well we live out our values through our all-staff

survey, providing candid feedback on where we need to improve

5. Create an enduring document that articulates the principles that form the

foundation between the organization and its workers

6. 6. Use the document as a touchstone for recruitment, onboarding,

communication, decision making

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Strategy 7: Promote Flexibility and Work-Life Integration

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems will increase flexibility for maternity/paternity, sick time, and other time-off requests; in addition, schools will provide teachers with an option for sabbatical at certain milestones in their careers.]

1. Evidence suggests that reducing professional work hours can help individual

[workers] to recover from burnout.

2. Provide greater flexibility for time off.

3. Evaluate vacation time and time off for life events

Strategy 8: Provide Resources to Promote Resilience and Self- Care

[Recommendation for field of education: Schools will provide access to local gyms, yoga studios, financial planners, and other support systems in addition to the mandatory health care plans they provide. Schools will also provide training for educators in resiliency and mindfulness as well as provide first year teachers coaching on work-life integration.]

1. Provide tools for self- assessment and self -calibration

2. Provide resources for exercise/fitness, diet, sleep habits, personal financial

health, relationships, mental health, and preventative medical care

3. Training in skills related to: resiliency, mindfulness, positive psychology

exercises, narrative medicine, and work -life integration

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Strategy 9: Facilitate and Fund Organizational Science

[Recommendation for field of education: School systems will invest in studying

these phenomena in their districts to further understand the issues and create

benchmarks by which to measure how schools are doing in caring for their

educators’ wellbeing.]

1. Develop new metrics, benchmarks, analytics, and intervention studies to

investigate this phenomenon.

The Mayo Clinic has found that organizations that focus on a “deliberate, sustained, and comprehensive” effort can and do reduce burnout (Shanafelt & Noseworhty, 2016, p.

142). Dyrbye, Shanafelt, Werner, Sood, Satele, and Wolanskyj (2017, p. 1) report:

A recent systematic review and meta-analysis of interventions designed to prevent physician burnout suggests there are a broad range of moderately effective individual-focused (stress management, facilitated small group, communication skills training) and organizational/structural-level interventions (duty-hour restrictions, modified clinical work processes, shorter inpatient attending rotation length).

These findings can inform school leaders as to what effective strategies for teacher burnout may be; the road has been cleared for school policy makers to create an effective response to the widespread experience of teacher fatigue. According to Lerias and Byrne

(2003), a best practice would be to infuse pre-service training programs with information regarding the phenomenon of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility as a first line preventative action and to include the information in professional development for

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current teachers. Newell, Gordon, and MacNeil (2010, p. 63) explains that,

“organizational risk factors for burnout could easily be infused into macro [teacher] course curriculum. Helping [teachers] understand these organizational risk factors prior to their beginning field education experiences may serve to decrease their vulnerability to professional burnout.”

Maslach (2015) investigated burnout among daycare workers, mental health staff,

[public] service attorneys, police officers, physicians, nurses, and public contact employees in the Social Security Administration. This research led to their creation of the standardized scale measure Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), which measures emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and feelings of reduced personal accomplishment (interestingly, teachers have never been studied). Currently, this tool is the most widely used index for burnout in research and organizational studies. This inventory could be used as a self-awareness tool for teachers and administrators in order to bring awareness around burnout (Maslach, 2015, pp. 11-12). Arming teachers with knowledge and awareness of their own proclivity to and experience of burnout and compassion fatigue is a first step. Once the problem is revealed, solutions can be addressed. Dyrbye et al. (2018) recommended the Mayo Clinic’s Well-Being Index

(WBI) as a

brief instrument designed to gauge distress across several important dimensions (e.g., burnout, depression, QOL [quality of life], stress, fatigue), as well as stratify those with high and low well-being... [It] is easy to score; and it is associated with important personal and professional outcomes. (p. 453)

Providing a self-assessment tool for teachers promotes awareness and can impact decisions on future professional development offerings that would be meaningful. This

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information could allow organizations to observe how workers self-reported well-being tracks with newly implemented organizational changes (Shanafelt & Noseworthy, 2017).

Tailored work unit interventions may improve outcomes and reduce cost (Godlberg &

Steury, 2001; Pomaki, Franche, Murray, Khushrushahi, & Lampinen, 2012). Krasner et al. (2009) demonstrated in their research that physicians participating in a training program “focused on self-awareness experienced improved personal wellbeing, including burnout (emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and personal accomplishment) and improved mood (total and depression, vigor, tension, anger, and fatigue). They also experienced positive changes in empathy and psychosocial beliefs,” which improved patient care and patients’ experiences such as trust. These same physicians made less mistakes in prescribing medications (p. 1288). Greinacher, Derezza-Greeven, Herzog, &

Nikendei (2019) recommend using the Secondary Traumatic Stress Scale, a seventeen- item survey used for professionals working with clients who have experienced trauma:

The STSS [Secondary Traumatic Stress Scale] is a part of the ProQOL [Professional Quality of Life measurement]: combined with the burnout scale, it forms the scale for CF [Compassion Fatigue] (Döllinger, 2014). It is based on the diagnostic criteria of PTSD of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM-IV), but focuses on the negative impact of indirect exposure to traumatic events. It assesses intrusion (five items), avoidance (seven items), and arousal (five items) via a five-point Likert scale over the past 7 days (e.g. ‘I feel emotionally numb’).

Halland et al. (2015) had similar findings from their research looking at stressed out medical students, stating that “[Practioners] receiving mindfulness training increased their use of problem-focused coping, as compared to the control group” (p. 388). Drybye et al. (2017) stated that those “relying on negative coping behaviors; having high stress, low social support” were at greater risk for depression; the researchers suggested that

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including a self-assessment screening for risk and susceptibility to depression [and compassion fatigue] would be helpful to implement for first year medical students (p.

224).

Tanaka, Fukuda, Mizuno, Kuratsune, and Watanabe (2009) defined coping as “the cognitive or behavioral efforts used to manage, reduce, or control stress” (p. 87).

Equipping teachers with healthy coping strategies is an important element of resiliency.

Even avoidance used as a coping strategy is associated with severe fatigue, according to

Tanaka et al. (2009). Shanafelt et al. (2017) share that organizations must recognize they do have control over many of the factors which contribute to burnout and that intervention on the organizational level can combat the problem:

Burnout is primarily a system-level problem driven by excess job demands and inadequate resources and support, not an individual problem triggered by personal limitations. Two systematic reviews and meta-analyses have demonstrated that organizational interventions can reduce burnout, and evidence suggests that even modest investments can make a difference. (p. 1828)

One of the most obvious places to address this epidemic is in teacher training programs. When university students decide to pursue a degree or certification in education, they must be presented with a realistic picture of the environment in which they will work. This means introducing prospective teachers to the concepts of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, and preparing them for the reality that might face them. Not unlike pre-career self-inventories that assist young university students to consider potential careers for which they might be well-suited, these same types of inventories should be created and used to bring self-awareness of the likelihood that exists, based on personality and current coping skill habits. After a sincere self- inventory, if prospective students continue to pursue education, there should be courses

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that teach proper coping strategies and best practices to support health and wellness under stress. This type of self-inventory and training should also be presented to current teachers, many of whom are already experiencing burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility but are not aware of the conditions or their harmful effects, both personally and professionally.

Burisch (2002) noted that burnout scores, from self-inventory and the way participants both described themselves and their experiences, could predict individuals’ vulnerabilities to burnout in the workplace. Basically, Burisch (2002) said that personality matters in the vulnerability to and experience of burnout, and some people are at higher risk. This is important information to understand about oneself. The lack of professional training programs leaves teachers feeling inadequately prepared for the reality of the job, which leaves them more vulnerable to burnout (Cherniss, 1980, 1993).

While there is training for teachers in the domain of teaching strategies and best practices, there is little to no training dealing with the interpersonal demands of the job.

Palmer (2007, p. 14) explains:

Taking the conversation of colleagues into the deep places where we might grow in self-knowledge for the sake of our professional practice will not be an easy, or popular, task. But it is a task that leaders of every educational institution must take up if they wish to strengthen their institution’s capacity to pursue the educational mission. How can schools educate students if they fail to support the teacher’s inner life? To educate is to guide students on an inner journey toward more truthful ways of seeing and being in the world. How can schools perform their mission without encouraging the guides to scout out that inner terrain?

According to Friedman (1991), teacher-student relationships were the highest cause of burnout; however, teachers in the study reported rarely receiving training on how to deal with the social aspects of the classroom. Palmer (2007) explained:

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Good teachers possess a capacity for connectedness. The connections made by good teachers are held not in their methods but in their hearts...As good teachers weave the fabric that joins them with students and subjects, the heart is the loom on which the threads are tied, the tension is held, the shuttle flies, and the fabric is stretched tight. Small wonder, then, that teaching tugs at the heart, opens the heart, even breaks the heart- and the more one loves teaching, the more heartbreaking it can be. The courage to teach is the courage to keep one’s heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able ... (p. 11)

Another solution based on research from the nursing field (Kramer, 1974) involves career counseling for both prospective and current teachers. This model would allow small groups of teachers to discuss career goals, strengths and weaknesses, emotional and social health in the workplace, and skills needed to move forward. This idea of social support interventions is further promoted by the research of Winnubust

(1993), who asserted that white-collar employees are most likely to be supported by assistance programs, support groups, and individual therapies. This research also indicated that organizational structure and culture are paramount in the risk of worker burnout; thus, investing in organizational training and programs to promote healthy workplace practices and support is vital. Given the national shortage of teachers, it is imperative from both a business and a moral/ethical standpoint to monitor and promote teacher wellbeing and to support any educator in distress. This movement secures the wellbeing of our education system as a whole and the students it serves. Ismail and Poon

(2018, p.1) conducted research that described workplace incivility as a “real and costly problem; thus, appropriate managerial interventions are needed to address this issue.”

According to Porath (2016):

Incivility usually arises not from malice but from ignorance... most bad behavior reflects a lack of self-awareness...A surgeon told me that until he’d received

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feedback, he had no idea that residents, nurses, and staff didn’t like his harsh directive style... [he was] oblivious ... (p. 12)

Preventative education and training, as well as a method of giving and receiving feedback on civility, need to be created. This education and training needs to begin with teacher training programs and continue through professional development and civility

360-degree review feedback modules, systems that create awareness are the answers.

Porath (2016) explained that interviewing and hiring for civility, coaching civility by setting and reinforcing expectations and norms, tracking and measuring civility, and establishing a feedback loop are necessary steps to creating and maintaining a workplace culture of civility. School principals must be trained on incivility and its effects on teachers and organizations. Beattie and Griffin (2014, p. 1) explain:

Increasing supervisor awareness of incivility, and also their role in company policies and procedures for dealing with uncivil behaviour, could be a valuable strategy for anticipating inappropriate behaviour in the workplace and preventing incivility-induced strain. For example, supervisors need to be familiar with and have an understanding of the range of circumstances that their employees confront and where/when uncivil behaviour is more likely to occur. Such an approach should yield positive outcomes for both organizations and their members.

Joshua Altman, Associate Director of the Student Counseling Center at Adelphi

University, suggested eight steps schools can take to support counselor [and teacher] wellbeing (Kafka, 2019):

• Weekly, paid, one-hour supervision in which counselors can speak freely to

experienced colleagues about their ... experiences [with students] and the

feelings brought up by them.

• Caution regarding the number and type of cases [students] assigned to any one

counselor [or teacher].

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• Clear open-door policies during sessions so that counselors [and teachers] can

reach out for guidance. A counselor [or teacher] should never feel that a

crucial ... decision rests solely on her or his shoulders.

• Regularly remind staff members that research shows that employees who ask

for help are seen as more trustworthy and competent, not less so. Reaching

out is a sign of strength, not weakness.

• Create a culture of camaraderie and the free exchange of ideas. Schedule staff

retreats and weekly case conferences ... [and] thank-you luncheon[s].

• Pay for ... continuing education. The additional training deepens their practice

and makes them feel part of a larger ... community. The biggest factor

associated with resilience ... is feeling part of such a community, less isolated

... more professionally and personally nourished.

• Establish flexible family, personal, and sick leave. (p. 2)

• Mindfulness training is another possible tool for combatting workplace

burnout and compassion fatigue.

Krasner et al. (2009) attributed mindfulness training to

... enhancing intrapersonal and interpersonal self-awareness [which] improve[s] wellbeing and effectiveness... [Teachers are] more attentive to the presence of stress, to their relationship with the sources of stress, and to their own personal capacity to attenuate the effects of stress. These skills cultivated in the mindful communication program appeared to lower participants reactivity to stressful events and help them adopt greater resilience in the face of adversity. (para. 35)

The bottom line is teachers need to understand what burnout, compassion fatigue, and workplace incivility are, and they need to be able to recognize when they are experiencing it. Carr (2018) explains that if teachers have the tools to understand and

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recognize the early symptoms of these phenomenon, and if teachers are given tools to manage their experiences of these phenomenon, then teachers will be empowered to overcome the hardships and develop resources as well as offer support to others who are suffering the same experiences.

Limitations

Every study has its limitations, and this work is no different. Many teachers view themselves as civil servants who take great pride in their work and deeply desire to feel competent and effective. To admit to feelings of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, teachers must confess, on some level, that things are not as they wish them to be. This honest inventory is often painful and, in and of itself, initially deeply stressful.

However, once voiced and shared, the experience can be liberating. Each participant had access to mental health services through their school insurance policy.

Several prospective participants showed incredible interest in the study and expressed connecting with the themes of the work, only to later decline participating due to not wanting to say anything negative about the teaching profession. Maslach (2015) described this phenomenon as “pluralistic ignorance” (a fallacy in social comparison where a person thinks they are the only one that thinks/believes/experiences something) because [teachers] are highly susceptible to blame themselves for their experience of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, and believe that they are the only ones suffering from these experiences. Maslach (2015) explained that [teachers] often think:

Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen because they all seem so happy, so I’ll pretend to be happy, too, so that nobody will suspect that I’ve seen troubles. People hide their true feelings and act as if everything were peachy keen and A- OK. When everybody puts on this mask of “I’m doing just fine” and fails to share his or her true reactions, then other suffering souls in the same boat are

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going to assume erroneously that they are alone in their distress ... This misinterpretation is strengthened when the individual who feels like a “sore thumb,” a “weak link,” or a “sob sister” in not being able to hack it works hard at not revealing this “deviant” response to others. Instead of self-disclosure what we see is displaced efforts to display publicly the “I’m all right, Jack” façade.” (pp. 17-18)

In addition to this phenomenon, society places extremely high expectations and standards on teachers. Teachers are expected to be “warm, giving, patient, courteous, and never rude, abrupt, hostile or cold. If the helper meets that standard, there is rarely applause or congratulations [because it is what is expected of teachers]. It is a chronic no-win situation- either you lose or you get nothing” (Maslach, 2015, p. 33). Teachers feel that to express unhappiness or dissatisfaction with their work is a betrayal of the societal norms and standards put on them; thus, participating in a study aimed at illuminating the experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility might be perceived as an actual betrayal of an unwritten code of etiquette among teachers.

Furthermore, Maslach (2015) explained that many in the helping professions view their ability to be successful as an extension of their identity rather than a part of their job; to admit that they experienced negative emotions, such as burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, they might feel a deep betrayal of self. In addition to fear of betrayal to self, teachers may fear a betrayal to the organization for which they work. Fear of retribution or disparagement if their identities are found out might keep prospective teachers from speaking up. Scholars have documented issues inherent… between [teachers] and policymakers, including conflicts of time, language, and values; some have described the precarity of the endeavor as ‘the tightwire we walk’ (Serrano-Garcia, 2013) and ‘waltzing with the monster’ (Shinn, 2007)” (Sandwick, Fine, Greene, 2018, para. 8). Another

149

limitation is the researcher’s own experience of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility in her teaching career. Ultimately, this caused her to leave the profession. Bias is present; however, in being honest regarding the bias, and using my experience to enrich the research in the spirit of autoethnography, my hope is that in connecting with my participants to create a safe, shared space, they were more transparent. Wall (2008) explained that:

autoethnography…offers a way of giving voice to personal experience for the purpose of extending sociological understanding… autoethnography can be a very difficult undertaking because this form of scholarship highlights more than ever issues of representation, “objectivity,” data quality, legitimacy, and ethics. Although working through these challenges can lead to the production of an excellent text, the intimate and personal nature of autoethnography can, in fact, make it one of the most challenging qualitative approaches to attempt. (pp. 1-2)

By specifically asking participants to recount and retell their personal experiences of burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility, participants are focusing on adverse memories of experiences and may re-experience the negative emotions associated with these experiences resulting in a cascading event of revictimization. This phenomenon may lead to participants telling their stories with emotional resonance; this cannot be avoided as the researcher is interested in obtaining a detailed description of the participants’ experience of events that are not commonly talked about.

Each story is told as it was represented to me by the participants and according to their perceptions of events they experienced. As the researcher, I did not fact check their stories with others as it was not the purpose of my study and it would have brought the participants’ identities to light, nullifying anonymity. My sole purpose was to illuminate my participants’ voices in regards to their personal experiences.

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Some participants were more comfortable than others sharing their experiences; therefore, some participant stories and descriptions are longer and more detailed than others. This difference was a result of the extent to which a participant shared during the interview and journals.

My hope is to have offered an illumination on the voices of teachers, including my own, in order to facilitate the awareness and discussion of the phenomenon of teacher burnout, compassion fatigue, and incivility in order to create a pathway forward to remediate the overwhelming epidemic facing educational professionals today. As a former educator who has experienced incivility, burnout, and compassion fatigue, my own experiences and feelings were present in my analysis of the data; however, in the spirit of autoethnography and participatory research, this was intended to fully illuminate the experiences of this phenomenon.

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APPENDICES

175

APPENDIX A: FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE IDENTIFICATION SHEET

Confusion: I feel in the dark about what is going on. I’m between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what end is up. Isolation: I am an island. I am a silo. Frustration: I have a bone to pick My blood is boiling I’m about to bite someone’s head off I need to blow off some steam I’m at my last straw I might fly off the handle I’m bent out of shape I have an axe to grind I have to bite my tongue This is hell in a handbasket Everyone just passes the buck I need to get something off my chest Fear: I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes I walk on eggshells It’s not a level playing field We got off on the wrong foot I’m a bundle of nerves

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I’m constantly holding my breath Exhausted: I am burnt out I’m just treading water I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel I’ve run out of steam I’m burning the candle at both ends Ineffective: I feel like a hampster on a wheel I just can’t find my footing I’m just going in circles It’s a losing battle Overwhelmed: I am buried under my work It’s sink or swim I’m about to go off the deep end It’s down to the wire I’ve bit off more than I can chew I can’t keep my head above water I’m about to come apart at the seams Unsupported: They turn a blind eye They are asleep at the wheel I’m on a sinking ship It’s a raw deal I’m always bending over backwards

177

APPENDIX B: INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

1. What is your position/title in the education profession?

2. How long have you been in the profession of education?

3. Do you teach a state tested subject where scores effect your Level of

Effectiveness score?

4. How many preps do you have?

5. Are you responsible for any extra-curricular duties such as sports, clubs, or after

school commitments?

6. Do you have tenure?

7. Why did you become a teacher? Describe how your current experience aligns

with your initial reasons to become a teacher.

8. Using a figurative language analogy, describe an experience of burnout in your

job.

9. How has this experience affected your wellbeing, job performance, relationships,

career goals, and life in general?

10. Using a figurative language analogy, describe an experience of incivility in your

job.

11. How has this experience affected your wellbeing, job performance, relationships,

career goals, and life in general?

12. Using a figurative language analogy, describe an experience of compassion

fatigue in your job.

13. How has this experience affected your wellbeing, job performance, relationships,

career goals, and life in general?

178

14. Have you ever thought about leaving your job or profession? Why?

15. Is there anything else you would like to share?

179

APPENDIX C: AHIMSA SAAMAGRI NVC FEELINGS/NEEDS CARDS

Feeling Cards: Afraid, angry, annoyed, ashamed, anxious, concerned, confused, despair, disappointed, disconnected, discouraged, disgusted, disturbed, embarrassed, exhausted, frustrated, guilty, guarded, helpless, hesitant, hurt, impatient, indifferent, insecure, irritated, jealous, lonely, lost, miserable, numb, regretful, reluctant, resentful, restless, scared, shocked, stressed, suspicious, terrified, tired, uncomfortable, uneasy, unhappy, upset, worried

Need Cards:

Acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation, authenticity, autonomy/Choice, balance, care/kindness, celebration, clarity, closure, community, companionship & friendship, compassion, competence & capability, connection, consideration, consistency, contribution, cooperation, creativity & self-expression, dependability, ease & comfort, efficiency & order, empathy & self-empathy, equality, fairness, fun & play, help, honesty, hope, inclusion, inspiration, meaning & purpose, peace, predictability, power in your world, reassurance, respect, rest & relaxation, security, stability, support, to be heard, to matter & belong, to see & be seen, trust, understanding

180

APPENDIX D: VALIDITY MATRIX

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. What do Why do I What kind Analysis Validity Possible Ration I need to need to of data will plans Threats strategies ale for know? know answer my for dealing strategi this? question? with es validity threats Does I Teachers Audio Reactivity Transpare compassi experien from taping participating ncy about on ce diverse interview in a study that my fatigue compassi backgroun s and is emeshed experience exist on ds offering focus with my own framing amongst fatigue a self- groups; experience methodolo educators myself. description transcribi gy.

? of their ng;

experience coding Co-

Do other of researchers Transpare

How is teachers compassio experiencing ncy about the experien n fatigue Coding reactivity with my experien ce this and ideas journal shared “cultural ce of too? on staying entries experiences baggage” compassi or leaving that I on the field bring to fatigue There is via Examinin Bias the self- no interviews, g and research. described research focus describin by on group g non- Polarization educators teachers’ conversati linguistic of current Reflexive ? experien ons, rendering political “I” ce of journal s chosen climate

compassi entries,

How do on and non- Creation educators fatigue linguistic Reflectiv Lack of trust of norms describe despite renderings, e self- that the much and journalin facilitate effects of research researcher’ g Group trust and compassi dealing s journal Think/Bandw independe with entries agon nt thinking other

181

on professio And fatigue? ns. narrative Suggestive Using writing Teacher language non- retention suggestive What is is language the suffering. relations hip between Teachers teacher are experien leaving ced the compassi professio on nal all fatigue together. and teacher retention as New described teacher by recruits teachers? are down.

(MAXWELL, 2013)

182

APPENDIX E: IMAGES

183

184

185

186

187

188

APPENDIX F: TOTAL CHOICES FEELINGS

FEELINGS TOTAL CHOICES Exhausted 22 Tired 21 Frustrated 13 Worried 13 Stressed 12 Angry 8 Discouraged 8 Irritated 8 Anxious 6 Concerned 6 Restless 6 Hurt 6 Shocked 6 Upset 6 Disappointed 5 Disconnected 5 Guarded 4 Annoyed 3 Confused 3 Numb 3 Resentful 3 Unhappy 3 Ashamed 2 Embarrassed 2 Uneasy 2 Afraid 1 Despair 1 Impatient 1 Miserable 1 Regretful 1 Scared 1 Uncomfortable 1 Disgusted 0 Disturbed 0 Guilty 0 Helpless 0 Hesitant 0 Indifferent 0 Insecure 0 Jealous 0 Lonely 0

189

Lost 0 Reluctant 0 Suspicious 0 Terrified 0

190

APPENDIX G: TOTAL NEEDS CHOICES

NEEDS TOTAL CHOICES Rest & Relaxation 20 Respect 12 Appreciation 11 Acknowledgement 8 Trust 8 Consideration 6 Dependability 6 Consistency 5 Fairness 5 Honesty 5 Balance 4 Help 4 Support 4 Authenticity 3 Care & Kindness 3 Community 3 Connection 3 Efficiency & Order 3 Predictability 3 Reassurance 3 Security 3 To Be Heard 3 To Matter & Belong 3 Autonomy & Choice 2 Acceptance 2 Celebration 2 Clarity 2 Equality 2 Hope 2 Meaning & Purpose 2 Cooperation 1 Ease & Comfort 1 Empathy & Self-Empathy 1 Inspiration 1 Peace 1 To see & be seen 1 Understanding 1 Closure 0 Companionship & Friendship 0 Compassion 0 Competence & Capability 0

191

Contribution 0 Creativity & Self-expression 0 Fun & Play 0 Inclusion 0 Power in your world 0 Stability 0 Understanding 1

192

APPENDIX I: TOTAL IMAGE CHOICES

IMAGE NUMBER TOTAL CHOICES

193

194

195

3 34

196

197

1 35

198

1 22

199

200

Epilogue

The ride went round and round Turning deep within More was lost than found Choosing to begin To give and give again To listen to my heart From an empty bin My soul does impart Compassion calls to serve Wisdom to step outside Nothing to preserve The circular dizzy ride Spin and spin and spin Time to hold and heal Empty deep within My heart needs to feel … … And then a sacred pause The beauty of choosing … me …

Poem: by Kate Urmy

[Image of girl holding heart/ black figures walking in circles in background]. (n.d.).

Retrieved from https://fb.ru/post/psychology/2019/2/1/55649