VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 | April 28th, 2021 | Doing all that we can since 1971

Image Courtesy of Logan Macdonald

Bandersnatch is a student run John Abbott College newspaper at John Abbott College. It Executive Positions 21275 Lakeshore Road is published biweekly and is partially Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue, funded by the Student Activities Sebastian Socorro Michelle Akim Quebec, Canada H9X 3L9 Committee and by advertising solicited customers. Submissions are welcome Editor-in-Chief News Editor Office: H-001 and become property of Bandersnatch. Vanessa Marion Sophia Jeroncic Web: www.bandersnatch.ca Submissions must be sent via MIO E-mail: [email protected] Assistant Editor-in-Chief Arts Editor through John Abbott College’s Omnivox Editors can be reached by MIO. to the respective editors, and must be Marc Randy Emma Doyle in Microsoft Word Document format Production Manager Entertainment Editor (.doc). All submissions must include Sections the full name of the contributor, as Maxim Maiore Andréa Nikolov well as the e-mail address if applicable. Webmaster Games Editor Student Life...... 2 Bandersnatch reserves the right to Paola Peñate Gursagar Singh News...... 3 reject submissions or to edit any Arts...... 4-5 submissions for length, legality, or Social Media Manager Sports Editor clarity. Submissions should be a Kimberley Huard-Jones Palmer Krilick-Tomchishen Entertainment...... 6 minimum of 250 words and a maximum Archivist Opinions Editor Games...... 7 of 500 words. Articles lower or above Slanderbatch...... 8-9 these parameters may be printed at Position Available Victoria Navas Via-Dufresne the discretion of the executives. If Photography Coordinator Science & Tech Editor Obituaries...... 10-11 you should have any questions or Elizabeth Tulli Logan Macdonald Sports...... 12 concerns, please contact us at our Opinions...... 13 e-mail indicated above or visit us at Student Life Editor Procrastinator Editor the Bandersnatch office, located in the Science & Tech...... 14 basement of Herzberg, room H-001 (Located in Herzberg basement, on the Procrastinator...... 15 hallway to Hochelaga basement). Backpage...... 16 STUDENT LIFE with Elizabeth Tulli Can be reached through MIO 2 2021 CONVOCATION JAC BLACK Elizabeth Tulli Student Life Editor some students haven’t received them) STUDENT UNION sent out this month. All graduates who Social media won’t defend ALLING ALL GRADS: the have finished their program of studies minorities, actions will. time has arrived. Yes, I’m in Summer 2020, Fall 2020, or Winter C talking about the upcoming 2021 should expect to receive an invi- José Moro Gutiérrez 2021 Convocation. After a challenging tation to confirm their attendance. Staff Writer academic year, all you hardworking The deadline to confirm attendance is students will complete your studies April 30th. More detailed information he John Abbott College and start the next chapter in your lives. can also be found on JAC’s website. Black Student Union is a But before that journey, please look T club that aims to amplify, forward to Convocation. We can all agree that it has been a uplift, and unify the voice of difficult year. College life has drasti- black and other minority students The Convocation ceremony will cally changed to the point of no return. on campus. The goal of this union be held on campus in the Casgrain All students should be commended of students is also to promote and building gymnasium. The dates of the for enduring these hard times. vocalize pressing issues, black event are June 17th and June 18th. Sebastian Socorro, our beloved Editor- history, and culture to the JAC However, the times haven’t been in-Chief, shared his opinion on the community in a way that aims to scheduled and there’s a chance that the past year: “It definitely wasn’t the way I inform and create an open dia- event may be postponed. Due to the wanted my last year to go, but all logue among peers. Although the COVID restrictions, guests won’t be things considered I’m pretty happy club has been around for several allowed to attend the ceremony but with how it ended up.” years, their club name “JAC Black will be able to watch it live on JAC’s Student Union“, has been around YouTube channel. Grads, be proud of yourselves for for the past 2 years. This has nev- reaching this milestone. You deserve er been a problem until now. Invitations have been or will be (if it. (Continued Online) IA EXPO Morgan Kittson Contributor time again enabled both the artists options will be showcasing their have created projects that branch to express their incomprehensible work, so there will certainly be into all of the above. s JAC marks its one-year emotions and the viewers to rec- something to your liking. In terms anniversary of online ognize their own thoughts or even of literature, you can find collec- The graduating ALC students A classes, it’s once again the themselves in this shared vision. tions of poetry, short stories have been working on these proj- time for the ALC graduating Expo. So, in the spirit of coping, why not ranging to from the fantastical to ects all semester long in In times of COVID and isolation, turn to the ALC Expo? the mundane, and riveting essays. less-than-ideal conditions, as we we find ourselves turning to the On the media side of things, stu- all know. To encourage them, just arts for ways of processing our re- There will be no need to worry dents will be presenting give the link a click and escape ality. For most, binge-watching about COVID guidelines; starting photography series, short films into the projects of your peers. Superstore on Netflix or desper- May 6th, you will be able to view and animation. From the language Spend the evening screening films ately waiting for the latest Sarah J. the Integrative Activity projects of students, you can expect to find with your family, reading stories Maas book are the only things each graduating ALC student from projects highlighting foreign to each other or debating over how keeping us sane. In fact, through- a link found on the Omnivox tongues. Can’t choose one? Don’t to pronounce that one Italian out history, the arts have time and Homepage. Students from all worry. Multidisciplinary students word. Enjoy! SUJAC UPDATE

Hey JAC! Congratulations to all! The by-elec- students in the Fall, remember to be two students with a 500$ reward tion for VP External is under way so on the lookout for some new greenery each! All the info is on The Portal SUJAC recently held its first stay tuned for updates on @instasujac in Casgrain Student Lounge as SUJAC under News (you may have to scroll round of elections for the 2021-2022 or the Omnivox portal. works to promote sustainability back a while) or @instasujac’s bio. SUJAC Executive team. At a around the College. Congress vote on March 29, Ivana SUJAC also had the privilege to The SUJAC Executive Team Riveros Arteaga won as SUJAC welcome Dr. Christopher Labos, a car- As the year winds down (or up 2020-2021, seen here in a recent President; Richard Tan as Vice- diologist and local medical journalist, with exams), we should remember to photo, would like to take the oppor- President Finance; and Dante to speak at a Congress meeting, to take a look back to what we have ac- tunity in this year’s last issue of Meldrum as Vice-President which all students were invited. Dr. complished. If you had been Bandersnatch, to thank you all for an Communications. Then after a two Labos spoke on vaccinations, debunk- particularly involved this academic incredible year. Good luck on your week campaign period and Omnivox ing theories and answering more year at JAC (with volunteering, clubs, exams and final papers, remember to student-wide vote, Deidra Lauzon detailed questions in the Q&A. teams, committees, tutoring etc.), then practice self-care and have a won- won the race for VP Internal and why not nominate yourself for the derful summer! Gracie Diabo for VP Academic. For all those who will be returning SUJAC Involvement Award given to

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA NEWS with Michelle Akim Can be reached through MIO 3 U.S. TO WITHDRAW BATTLE FOR JOSH Sebastian Socorro TROOPS Editor-in-Chief Just last Saturday, hundreds of Andre Bernier Joshes armed with pool noodles ar- Staff Writer According to an anonymous n April of last year, a man rived at Air Park in Lincoln, Biden administration official, Biden named Josh Swain contacted as Nebraska (the field mentioned in resident Joe Biden announced has judged that a “conditions-based I many people as he could find the original post happened to be that all American troops will approach” to leaving Afghanistan is a on Facebook with the same first and private property, so it was moved). withdraw from Afghanistan recipe for staying in Afghanistan for- last name with one request: in pre- Only the “original” Josh Swain and P th by September 11 . In doing so, Biden ever. Many officials shared the opinion cisely a year at a field in Nebraska, another Josh Swain showed up, and has effectively declared an end to the that the U.S. had accomplished what it the many Josh Swains would have to the former won the rights to the U.S. war in Afghanistan, which has did when it entered Afghanistan after duke it out for the right to keep the name through a brutal one-on-one lasted nearly twenty years. the September 11th terrorist attacks: name. In his words, “there can only duel of rock-paper-scissors. A bat- defeating Al-Qaeda. It was a war that be one”. Many presumed this was tle royale ensued between the many By rejecting the Pentagon’s ap- has cost the U.S. two trillion dollars just a meme and nothing more, but other Joshes. Eventually the victor proach to keep U.S. forces in with no clear objective or benefit. to Josh’s surprise, it gained enough emerged: a four year-old Lincoln Afghanistan until the right conditions traction for the event to be made a resident by the name of Josh Vinson are put in place, he’s stood his ground Biden said that he was the fourth reality. Jr. (also known as “Little Josh”). He on his policy views on force toward president to inherit the U.S. war in was given a Burger King crown, a Afghanistan. Afghanistan and that he intended to Knowing he had public atten- champion’s belt, a small trophy, and be the last. His move to end the war in tion now, Josh expanded the rules the coveted title “One True Josh”. Joe Biden has always been a strong Afghanistan has been a move to end so that anyone with the first name proponent toward minimizing pres- the “forever war.” could compete, and clarified a few ence in Afghanistan. In 2009, when things: there wouldn’t be any physi- Pentagon officials were attempting to cal violence, everyone was to wear a convince Barack Obama into sending mask, and they were also encour- additional troops into Afghanistan, he aged to bring non-perishables. This warned Obama that Pentagon gener- fight doubled as a food drive and a als were trying to “box in a new fundraiser, as the non-perishables president” and “to not let them jam were donated to the Food Bank of you in.” Biden has reportedly had ar- Lincoln and a fundraising page put guments with several Obama up by Josh managed to raise more administration officials, including than $10 000 for the Children’s then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Hospital and Medical Center about force levels in Afghanistan. Source: Flickr Foundation. Source: Wikimedia Commons NEW FEDERAL BUDGET Michelle Akim News Editor To help women re-enter the la- omitted from the budget. Similarly, Similarly missing from the budget bour force, the creation of a national though healthcare was at the fore- was a Universal Basic Income, a mea- n April 19th, the Liberal gov- childcare program has been pro- front of the budget, pharmacare was sure that had been lauded as a ernment tabled their first posed, one that would cost $10 per not in the budget. This was much to post-pandemic solution to creating a O federal budget in three years, day, and would be up and running the disappointment of NDP leader, more equal Canada. The proposition, with one distinct goal: recovery. This is within five years. Though applauded Jagmeet Singh, for whom this was a which saw overwhelming support at Chrystia Freeland’s first budget as by women’s rights activists for mak- priority, especially since Trudeau had the Liberal Party convention in the be- Finance Minister, since she replaced ing childcare accessible and included universal pharmacare in his ginning of April, would assure every Bill Morneau following the WE Charity affordable, it has been criticized by campaign platform. Despite this cri- Canadian a minimum monthly in- scandal in 2020. Making this budget the Québec government, who views it tique (and the claim that the budget come, no strings attached. significant is not only the fact that it as redundant, as a similar program al- took ideas from the NDP’s 2015 and will set the tone for the rest of Freeland’s ready exists on the provincial level 2019 electoral promises), Singh has So what does this new budget term, but it is also integral in shaping and has for many years. said that his party will support mean for you? Firstly, the budget has Canada’s economic growth following Trudeau in all budgetary votes to promised student debt relief, an in- the COVID-19-caused recession. Instead, Québec, along with the avoid them losing a vote-of-no-confi- crease in grants offered to students and other provinces, would have liked to dence. This would trigger a federal more work and training opportunities To the surprise of very few people, see an increase in healthcare transfers election, extremely inopportune in for youth. Secondly, the minimum this budget promises spending, spend- to provinces, something that was the third wave of the pandemic. wage for federal jobs has increased to ing, and yes, more spending. Heavily $15 an hour, benefiting students work- critiqued by the Conservative party for ing through the Federal Student Work this, it promises $101 billion for the Experience Program. Finally, and pos- next three years, mostly focused on sibly most importantly, the budget has three areas: coronavirus relief to the offered plans for decreasing the debt- vulnerable Canadians, an emphasis on to-GDP ration and Canada’s benefit healthcare, and investing in sustainable that have been critiqued by many as development and green technology. insufficient. Though Freeland defends According to Freeland, focusing on them as adequate, if she is wrong, the these three areas will enable the gov- burden of paying off Canada’s debt will ernment to “meet the urgent needs of likely fall onto the shoulders of our today, and build for the long-term”. Source: Le Droit generation.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA ARTS with Sophia Jeroncic Can be reached through MIO 4 TRUTHS SPACE WHALE Sophia Jeroncic Victoria Navas Via-Dufresne Arts Editor ‘Cause truth is I’ve been waiting Science & Tech Editor for you, Falling from the heights for those For you. jeweled eyes, Staring out amid the clouds. Perfect being mind is a state of But keeping it a secret between mine, you and I, But I know it isn’t true. For no one else can see as loud. And help to realize it is a waste of time, Contradiction to a past where Because for sure this isn’t new. darkness died, A calm calamity takes mind. Why won’t you And the string of words that es- Help me sober up cape from my head tonight, From this awful drink that’s life, Are of metaphorical kind. Lost in strife.

Take a breath, Why don’t you Open up your eyes. Come a little closer Watch all former signs arise, At last I’m gonna tell the truth. In disguise. We can Talk about our fears and Come a little closer, All the things we wanna do. At last I’m gonna tell the truth. ‘Cause life these days We can Is an opaque fog, Talk about our fears and I’m looking for a cure from you. All the things we wanna do. Words these days So why don’t you Are thrown around and Come a little closer Nobody seems to have a clue. ‘Cause truth is I’ve been waiting Why don’t you for you. Come a little closer FAHLSTROM’S ROAD Sebastian Socorro Editor-in-Chief liquid, an orange rag, and a see his skeletal features partial- Viktoria stopped for a mo- worn scarf. She put the scarf ly lit by the warm glow of the ment, then stared back at the As the sun slowly fell below over her nose and mouth, sun. blood-dirtied sword. the horizon, Viktoria Fahsltrom dipped the rag into the bottle, grabbed the bag beside her and and started rubbing it onto the “I am curious as to your “Regardless of how you looked at her surroundings. blade. The corrosive didn’t purpose, Fahlstrom. If your look at it, I’m planning a geno- Once again, she was miles away work as quickly as she would’ve desire is truly to rid this world cide,” she said. “I’m sure you from any town both in front hoped, but it would do the job. of threats like me, why would know how wars work. You were and behind her. She sat in the you ally yourself with ghouls, a king in life, were you not? front of her carriage as her Suddenly the slider to the giants, and the like?” When a nation has rid the en- horses pulled it along the dirt inside of the carriage creaked emy of their men, what’s left is road. Green plains littered with open, and two empty eye sock- Viktoria’s face wasn’t en- the aftermath. The women, the stones and hills were at either ets peered from within. tirely visible, but there was a children, the unfortunates who side of her, and there was no clear frown on her brow as she had nothing to do with it. Cruel other person in sight. “Is it safe?” a voice rang in looked back at him. monarchs deal the final blow, Viktoria’s head. She nodded witless ones are sated once Viktoria took from the bag and got back to her business. “I am one woman against they’re neutered or assimilat- the sword she’d retrieved from thousands of supernatural ed, and witless ones leave them the Corveaux Estate. She pulled While the carriage was still creatures, and all I have are my to suffer in the wreckage and it from its scabbard, revealing in motion, its door opened and wits and an understanding of plan revenge.” (as she predicted) that the the gargantuan frame of how to shoot a six-chamber blade was caked in a dark sub- Cnàmhadiel, the skeleton king, gun. If my enemy isn’t intelli- A raucous laughter erupted stance. She took a moment to stood in the open. He manoeu- gent and they can shrug off a from Cnàmhadiel. examine it, her face contorted vred his way to the front of the bullet, I’ll need more options.” into a mix of admiration and carriage (next to Viktoria’s bag) “Well then, little warrior. fear. With one hand, she and gently closed the carriage Viktoria heard a low chuck- What sort of monarch will gripped the sword’s hilt, with door behind him. le in her mind. you be?” the other, she ran her fingers over the raven-like mark under “I have had time to delib- “Then I suppose you’ll By now the sky was mostly her left eye. She sighed and erate, trapped within this find a way to get rid of us once dark, and the few rays of sun took more items from the bag: coffin beside your relics,” he the deed is done?” he asked. gleaming off her blade were al- a glass bottle filled with a clear announced. It was unnatural to most gone.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA ARTS 5 TRAPPED Sophia Jeroncic Arts Editor Every second spent in this society is a fresh nightmare. Everywhere one goes, I am enveloped with the weight of All they see is humanity shred- society’s wrongdoings. ding itself to pieces. The shadows of heavenly gates Nothing matters anymore. haunt me in my dreams. Is there any ounce of compassion left in society’s vault? Sights of everyone losing control Shall I retain any fragile morsel of Are too much to bear. hope Everyone complains about being That maybe humanity can prove hurt, itself to be Yet they’re the ones hurting me. Worth everything we have been through? They shred their own dreams, Or has it all been in vain? And look for a reason to blame someone else. Every single waking hour, My life is forever held hostage by Humans provide me with a rea- their selfishness. son to give up. I am enclosed in a bubble As they saunter along, Whose air is being vacuumed out. Their chains reach out from around their arms I pray for the ability to be igno- And entangle with my newfound rant again. stems of life. Please don’t hold me accountable One day, their humanity will wear for them all out. What I have seen Because I will once more feel my- Collectively, they are all enemies. self lose control. An island of demons Where I am an outsider, They say ignorance is bliss. And I could not be happier. I couldn’t agree more. DRIFTING CLOUDS TRAVELLING BOND Elizabeth Tulli Nicole Widerlund Student Life Editor Staff Writer

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA ENTERTAINMENT with Emma Doyle Can be reached through MIO 6 BANDERSNATCH SIX OF CROWS PLAYLIST DUOLOGY Vanessa Marion Lara Fakhoury Assistant Editor-in-Chief Staff Writer

o you ever wonder what our writers at Bandersnatch listen to? f you’re looking for a duology Bardugo, inspired by old Russia and Wonder no more! Here are our favourite songs at the moment! with stunning world building, surrounding countries. Her rich de- D Some are more recent, some a little older, all are current obses- I intriguing cast of characters scription of the atmosphere and sions. You’ll be able to find the playlist on Spotify as “Bandersnatch Favs and a few lessons on how to pick climate make you feel like you’re in 2021”. Go check it out! wallets and watches, the Six of Crows the thick of it. With one-liners that duology by Leigh Bardugo is the se- are full of meaning and witty banter ries for you. In the nefarious city of that will make you grin, the writing Song Staff Member Song Staff Member Ketterdam, Kaz Brekker, a wicked in this novel is a marvel and the plot Cigarette Sophia Waltz #2 Michelle whiz with a talent for escapes and of how the heist unfolds will make it Daydreams tricks, is offered a job to break the hard to put the book down. Mine Forever Sophia The Adults are Michelle creator of a deadly drug from the Talking strongest prison in the world for a Six of Crows was always recom- Dixie Vanessa Revelry Bryanna hefty sum. To succeed, Kaz gathers mended to me and I was hesitant I Bet On Losing Vanessa Reflections Bryanna local misfits to prevail in this seem- due to all the hype…but found it Dogs ingly impossible heist. Then, just wholly deserving of it afterward. Replica Paola Own in a Hole Kimberley when you think it’s over, Bardugo introduces an epic final half to the Drew Barrymore Paola Birthday of the Sun Kimberley series. How Deep is Your Emma Demons Victoria Love Bardugo takes the general char- Miss You 2 Emma But Run Boy Run Victoria acters of your run-of-the-mill heist Super Gore Nest Logan Gone Gursagar movies but gives them intriguing Ripe and Tear Logan How Much a Gursagar personalities and profound backsto- Dollar Cost ries that will make you feel a deep I Don’t Know Why Elizabeth T Big Iron Sebastian empathy for these wanted Xoxosos Elizabeth T Brooklyn Bridge to Sebastian criminals. Chorus Killshot Elisabeth B Right in Two Palmer The world in which the series Source: Flickr Instagram Elisabeth B Fire on Mountain Palmer takes place is beautifully painted by HIDDEN TALENT: THE START OF PART SIX Sophia Jeroncic SOMETHING…OLD? Arts Editor Lovers. Their songs are memorable and Emma Doyle of varied atmospheres. My favourite Entertainment Editor Letterboxd. f you’re looking for some new mu- songs are Too Fast, Sweatshirt, and Haunt sic to listen to as the semester You ft. Chloe Moriondo. Too Fast is don’t know about you, but Instead, I’ve re-watched I comes to a wrap, this article is for about falling in love quickly with an up- I’m a pretty big geek. There Grey’s Anatomy, seasons one to you! Three final artists are waiting to be beat, alt. rock vibe. Sweatshirt and Haunt I are so many books, TV fifteen, at least three times since discovered by a wider audience. You are slightly slower and calmer, deal- shows and movies coming out the first lockdown. At least. ing with headspace and relationships. on a near constant basis – The first artist I recommend check- Both songs feature pleasant and catchy Netflix’s adaptation of one of When I pick up a book I was ing out is Lord Huron, a group that melodies. Personally, Haunt You hits my favourite YA series’, Shadow dying to read a year ago, the mainly releases folk rock. Although harder since it deals with love and the and Bone, for example – that it idea of encountering something many people I know aren’t familiar with thought of dying. can be hard to keep up. But, for I can’t predict has made it really them, they are responsible for the well- the first time in my life, I find it hard to enjoy new things. known song The Night We Met, which The last artist worth checking out is almost impossible to start new Because of the never-ending was popularized by the show Thirteen Saba. Saba is a rap/hip hop artist from things no matter how intensely state of nothing that is the pan- Reasons Why. While some of their songs Chicago whose songs feature electronic I’ve been anticipating it. demic, anything unpredictable have amassed many streams, the band effects and beats. I think Saba is very means it’ll roll around in my itself is still unknown to many. Their lat- smart with his lyrics and flows. My fa- I think that we’re all caught head. It’ll be the thing I get at- est release, Long Lost, is a favourite, vourite song of his is Photosynthesis ft. in a state of low-level anxiety. I tached to, and then bam! There giving off atmospheres of adventure, in- Jean Deaux. This song is different be- would never have considered goes a cliff-hanger, or a charac- finity, intense emotion, and happiness. cause it mixes rap with slow, easy myself a stressed or anxious ter death, or something else Some of my other favourite songs of listening genres. I think his lines are ex- person, but in the last few dramatic that my geeky heart theirs are Mine Forever, Love Like Ghosts, tremely well-thought out and the whole months that’s changed. As a re- can’t take. and Wait by the River. Lord Huron is a song is smoothly put together. Some of sult, I’ve accumulated a giant band whose songs are always sad yet his other songs like American Hypnosis TBR list – actual piles of books But if you’re like me, and cheerful, adventurous, slow, and ex- and The Billy Williams Story are interest- I haven’t read yet! – and I’m you need your predictable com- tremely enjoyable. ing. His songs are extremely unique, and very, very slowly making it fort shows to stay sane, don’t I believe they can be appreciated by a lot through the heavier, but worth- worry. We’re all in this The second artist I have for you is X more people. while, watchlist on my together.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA GAMES with Andréa Nikolov Can be reached through MIO 7 SWAN SONG FOR POKÉMON BLACK & WHITE Sebastian Socorro Editor-in-Chief date. Both were published for the your pokémon is at critical health, Scald, abilities like Multiscale and Nintendo DS systems and were the when you’re battling the gym leader’s Moxie were all additions made by ith the advent of the Sinnoh last 2D main series Pokémon games last pokémon, when you’re at a lower these games. There were some quality- remakes (Pokémon before the switch to 3D in X & Y. section of a cave, etc. Even the differ- of-life improvements as well: the W Brilliant Diamond & ent gyms of Black 2 & White 2 have PokéMart being put into the Pokémon Shining Pearl), many fans are already To this day, what stands out to me unique themes that fit their respective Center, TMs no longer being one-use, speculating and getting excited over the most about Black & White and its leader’s personality. poison no longer dealing damage out- the prospect of eventual remakes of sequel is the music. It’s understandable side battle, etc. the Unova games, Black & White. that the game that introduced me to Another thing to note is the Seeing as I’m not a fan at all of how the franchise as well as one of the first amount of additions made to the fran- The joke had always been that sto- they’re doing the Sinnoh remakes, the games I ever completed would have its chise as a whole. Unova’s pokédex is ries in Pokémon games were meant for idea of a Unova remake is one filled music ingrained in my head, but dur- still the only one to only have new kids and therefore weren’t any good, with both excitement and dread. I ing my recent playthrough I noticed pokémon and the only one to have so and at the time of its release there was wouldn’t want that remake to be han- bangers I didn’t even remember. These much confidence in their roster that a lot of talk about the ethics of dled by an unqualified studio, look games paid special attention to music even staples like Pikachu aren’t pres- Pokémon battles. Black & White dealt worse despite it being on far superior as well, being the only Pokémon games ent. Items like Eviolite and the Rocky with the subject matter in a mature hardware, or generally not take advan- to date to have specific music for when Helmet, moves like Volt Switch and way despite its audience being mostly tage of the advancements the series kids and did it while telling a story that has made, like Mega Evolution. There had consistency and emotion in its is still a lot of time for course correc- characters. Ironically, there was very tion and I would be ecstatic to be little black and white good vs. evil in proved wrong, but I’m not confident Black & White. in GameFreak. Thanks to the music, the lively lo- With all that, it’s safe to say that cations, the dialogue, and the animated these games deserve an appreciative sprites there is a level of character and last hurrah before they’re next in the personality to the people and poké- crosshairs for a remake. Black & White mon in these games that is sometimes came out in 2010 and their sequels, hard to find in other titles of the series. aptly titled Black 2 & White 2 followed I would still recommend it as a new- two years later both in terms of the in- comer’s first Pokémon game. game story and the real world release Source: Flickr EARTHBLADE IN BYE BYE, PAPA JEFF Andrea Nikolov DEVELOPMENT Games Editor Coming back to Overwatch’s se- Andre Bernier quel in current development, Staff Writer has admittedly said that she has a ast Tuesday, Jeff Kaplan, the Blizzard and Keller have both as- sort of mental picture of what the director of Overwatch, an- sured fans that even during these xtremely OK Games, the game will look like but that many L nounced in a heartfelt sudden changes, there will still be a development team behind things will need change. message that he would be leaving solid schedule and timing will not E Celeste, recently released a Blizzard after working with them for fall into serious delay. Regardless, it “vibe trailer” for their latest proj- Thornson said they are likely to almost 19 amazing years. As a found- is unclear how everything will be ect, ‘Earthblade’. The trailer reveal less than they did with ing father of the Overwatch vision, it from here on out in terms of other contained jaw-dropping visuals Celeste: “We’ve opted to save it all is truly heartbreaking to see Kaplan games. For now I think that we are and beautiful music which sets the up for a big reveal that will hope- take his leave from the studio, espe- in good hands with Keller as the clear tone that the game is going fully blow your socks off.” Despite cially during the production of the new director for the sequel since the for. the little information on Earthblade, sequel scheduled for release next partnership and friendship with fans have already started to theo- year. For years, Papa Jeff, as many Kaplan that formed over the years Celeste is a narrative-driven in- rize about the game based on what fans named him, was the face of has shaped the works of the studio die developer game which focuses was in the trailer. One theory men- Overwatch and would host all the and we should expect promising on Madeline’s journey to the top of tioned that the game’s logo colours development update videos change with their new games. Celeste mountain. It is a phenom- were extremely similar to the les- personally. enal game which received universal bian pride flag. Given Celeste’s acclaim by critics and won the 2018 history with implied romance, it’s Although it feels like the end of Best Indie Game of the year award. possible that a lesbian relationship an era, we can find some form of It’s not a surprise that fans of the will be in the game. But we will comfort by the thought of Jeff’s posi- title were excited about Extremely have to wait and see. tion being taken over by Aaron OK Games’ latest project. Keller, someone who has worked alongside Kaplan for a very long Maddy Thornson said in a blog time, starting from way back when post that people should look at the during the early World of Warcraft trailer as a “vibe reveal”. She con- days and held the role of assistant di- tinued by saying: “We don’t know rector through first developments of how long it will take, just that it Overwatch. will take as long as it takes.” She Source: Earthblade Press Kit Source: The Focus

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA SLANDERBATCH 8 INTO THE DUSK APOCALYPSE Sophia Jeroncic Arts Editor dilapidated houses. A car alarm LIFESTYLE sounded nearby, but no one was Andrea Nikolov in view. The drone of a helicop- Games Editor these parts, those could proba- ter wafted through the silent bly belong to someone. Always evening. I pulled my hood over ear Journal, hi! be careful. BANG! my head and forced my mask af- heard the sound of a car fixed to the oxygen tank higher D Thirdly, this one is a bit backfiring as the familiar up my nose. It’s been a while since I actu- sad… but I lost my girlfriend. I whine of the nightly alarm ally wrote something in you. Candice. You know the old man- pierced the calm, electric air The whine of a patrol vehicle nequin from Winners I found a just before twilight. A moment cut the rapidly approaching Sorry, I’ve been caught up few months ago?... Yeah, she later, a battered, black car sped darkness. Since there was no holding down the fort on my and I had to go our separate off beside me, nearly knocking one who could vouch for me ac- end. Well, a lot has happened ways… She found this new guy me off my feet. It was clear it quiring medication anymore, I since we last chatted. First off, I from GAP, and off she went into had been hotwired, and the had no valid proof for being finally managed to find a decent his arms. I can’t blame her he owner was now rushing to va- outside, so I scaled a ladder and stronghold; granted, it’s a pris- looked like he was quite fit. But cate the neighbourhood before scrambled across the roof of my on, but it’s a lot better than the I guess that’s what happens the enormous spotlight swept former school, hiding behind a last place we stayed at. God! I when you love in the Apocalypse. over the suburbs. pile of junk as the car rolled by. remember those mutated dogs The building had been evacuat- were everywhere! I think I de- Won’t make that mistake The wind rustled the leaves ed three months ago when the cided to name them Hungry again! Just like I won’t feed the of the charred, crooked trees. It epidemic was first announced. Hounds, you know, cause they’re giant dung beetles, or the crazy was a warm night, but the atmo- If only they had taken it always hungry for human flesh. siren pelicans, or the monsters sphere sent chills down my seriously. Okay, I know it’s lame, but I al- that live in the waters now any- spine. In the distance, I heard ready decided on it. more. That’s all in the past! the screech of the car grow I glanced around me at the fainter and fainter. All around ruins of what once was humani- Second, I found a decent Anyways, I’ll write in soon me, filthy, abandoned masks lit- ty’s selfishness. Shrugging my supply bunker a few miles away JJ. tered the abused streets dotted shoulders, I descended the lad- from my base, there’s a built-in with potholes. Their owners, no der and continued my journey water purifier and some canned Maybe next time you can tell doubt, were long gone. If only back home, trudging along the goods for months down there. me if you think I’m going crazy. they had listened. I rounded a disintegrated road that led into I’m all set in terms of food, but corner, facing a row of the dusk. you can never be sure around CONCLAVE OF THE GRAVEDIGGERS Sebastian Socorro Editor-in-Chief and that wasn’t a fond memory. As make out that these figures were... others wiped their mouths of some- he crept past gravestones and got furry. He could see dark fur along thing liquid. erhardt Quinley shook in closer to the strange sound, he their bodies wavering slightly in his boots as he creaked prayed to the stars above that he’d the breeze, and as he looked down “My name is Harland,” the G open the front door to the be able to deter whatever threat he realized that their legs curved. middle one said. “These are Otto shack he’d been staying in. He was there could be with a single strike They were thin and bent, like a and Stefan. We are ghouls, as you gripping the wooden handle of his of his shovel before he was goat’s. may have deduced. We feed on shovel so hard the knuckles on noticed. corpses, but despise harming the both his hands had lost their co- Suddenly the squelching living. Your grave is full of old lour by now. Simply to sate his Eventually he saw movement in stopped. Gerhardt shook in almost dead, and we hunger.” curiosity, he’d left the comfort of front of him and quickly ducked every part of his body, yet he his family home to spend a night in back behind the tree he had used as couldn’t voluntarily move a mus- “Harlie, perhaps we ought to the graveyard’s shack. As the local cover. The squelching sound con- cle. His breath was ragged, his eyes l e av e ,” said the left one. “We could gravedigger he was the only one tinued even louder now, so he were wide, and his heart beat like a be devouring his who had access to keys for the front presumed the source was only a hammer. The figure in the middle great-grandfather.” gate and the shack, so it wasn’t like few metres away from his tree. He stood up and raised its nose, re- there was anyone to question him. gathered the most courage he had vealing that not only was it about “Oh shut it, Otto,” replied the Knowing he’d be alone, he had mustered in years, took a deep twice the size of him, but its head one on the right. “Corpses do no locked the front gate at around ten breath, and kept his knees bent as was similar to a bat’s. good wasting in the dirt. I’m sick of in the evening. Despite that, he was he went around the tree. living off battlefields.” woken up (presumably past mid- “Someone’s not dead here,” it night) by the sound of stone on Only a few paces away, three muttered. The three figures abrupt- “Hmmmm…” Harland mused stone and strange noises that he figures hunched over one of the ly turned from the tomb to with a hand on his chin. “Gerhardt, could only describe as squelching. graves. It was hard to see clearly in Gerhardt’s tree. what do you think?” the dark, but Gerhardt could dis- Gerhardt crept slowly once cern that the tomb had been dug “We see you,” it spoke again. Gerhardt blinked and woke up outside, using the nearby dead out somehow and the cover had “Let us explain before you send with a cold sweat in the middle of trees as cover. The only experience been set aside. He strained his eyes your cavalry.” the night. There were squelching he had with combat in his lifetime trying to look closer without giv- noises outside the door. was getting beat up by bouncers, ing himself away, and managed to It slowly stepped closer as the

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA SLANDERBATCH 9 METRONOMEN Logan Macdonald Procrastinator Editor

THE START OF ADULTING: THE REAL SOMETHING HORRIBLE HORROR STORY Vanessa Marion Emma Doyle Assistant Editor-in-Chief older generation and those Entertainment Editor do with the rest of my life, with health problems. This and I can’t help but think, “I’d ou have loved ones? was a hundred years ago, and ’m nineteen years old and like to sleep for a hundred Not anymore. Friends? now, just on schedule, some- this year I finally paid my y e ar s .” Y Not anymore. Enemies? thing new is on it’s way. I taxes. I owe money to the All around you. Just the other government and everything. I Just a couple days ago I day I was galloping to fetch You may be wondering had papers to file, forms to was reading about exercise food from the essential store. why no one good can be in fill out, the whole shebang. and healthy eating. I’m a pret- Whilst strutting as quickly as your life, well, we must remain ty lazy person, so reading possible, in order to avoid the confined. The new I feel like just yesterday I about regularly doing these up and coming pandemic, I Kardashian-Jenner govern- had no responsibilities except things, even if they’re for op- came across the worst of our ment issued this quarantine as a decent report card. Now my timizing your quality of life kind- the anti-vaxxer. I could a wave of a new virus is com- COVID-19 online shopping and all that, was a little nerve tell this by their mask, as they ing. Many of those who problem has actual conse- wracking. You’ll laugh, but placed it below their mouth, survived through COVID quences on my bank account the truth is, as soon as I start- and it was a piece of cloth. It is were the strongest, and have because I have a phone bill ed thinking of the prospect of mandatory, and it must be lived for longer than anyone and taxes to pay and a savings having to keep regular healthy worn, but these wrinkled rai- thought possible. It is average account to build. I mean… habits for the rest of my life sins never listen. for the older generation to live how did this happen? How (!!!) made me an anxious until 150, 175. That being said, did we get here? mess. Paying bills on time for After they refused to get there are many at risk who the rest of my life, having a the vaccine during the 2020 have already lived through the The worst part is it only routine… Am I the only one COVID-19 pandemic, herd previous pandemic, me being gets worse from here. The feeling this pressure? immunity was never reached, one of them. And this time, prospect of moving away, and the virus continued to won’t be like the last, I will paying university tuition, Who needs fiction when spread, causing it to mutate make sure of it. bills, driving, the future. I’m the real horror story is and create a variant. This vari- at that point where everyone I reality? ant began slowly killing off the meet asks me what I want to

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA OBITUARIES Saying Farewell to The Recently Graduated 10 SEBASTIAN SOCORRO Editor-In-Chief Agrees Mortal Coil is Unstable After Falling Off Marc Randy Production Manager picture, the quality of Bandersnatch’s “Bodacious Beret” Socorro’s passing, time like tears in rain. Entropy has headlines took a nosedive immediate- so does the legend of Spooky Luke. done its work, and Bandersnatch is n the fiveteenth of Aprimay ly after. The day after his passing, This legend is so mysterious that now awash with headlines of ques- Sebastian “Turtle Club” Bandersnatch published an issue with Sebastian “Final Fraternity” Socorro’s tionable creativity without Sebastian O Socorro met his untimely de- headlines such as “Vegan Eats Sea biting the dust has scrubbed all knowl- “Elder God” Socorro to fend them off. mise at the hands of a rabid rejected Slug, Collapses Into Singularity”, edge of it. Someone else must take up the headline. Tired of being rejected time “Twitch Streamer Arrested for not mantle of protecting Bandersnatch after time and being sent to the Showing Enough Cleavage”, “New Sebastian “Venezuelan Vuvuzela” from somewhat subpar headlines. But Procrastinator section, the rejected Korean Pop Genre is Unveiled as K-9- was truly a man of many names. But the man, the myth, the legends will headlines revolted against Sebastian Pop Where all Singers are Dogs”, and what many do not know is that all never be forgotten. And I can’t think of “Anarchy Afficionado” Socorro. While “The Pandemic has Given Thousands those names were accumulated a better way to send him off than with resentment in the headline communi- of People Mask Fetishes”. through the side-effects of being in a an obituary using a somewhat unfun- ty had simmered for the entire quantum state of flux. Every time ny but still slightly amusing headline. semester, things reached a boiling Law enforcement were able to re- someone misspells Sebastian’s name point when “Teenagers Contract an cover surveillance footage of Sebastian by writing it ‘Sebastien’, they create an STD Through Cybersex” was rejected “Lexicon Luthor” Socorro’s gruesome identical psyche in all but name that on the eve of his passing. end. Almost all of the footage was cor- takes over Sebastian. As a result, rupted, but Sebastian “Canadian Sebastian suffered from a form of Sebastian “Almost Mullet” Socorro Cacodemon” Socorro can be faintly quantum personality disorder, allow- was found drained of all his creativity heard muttering the phrase: ing him to do many things ordinary in his own bedroom. A member of the men could only dream of. local law enforcement testified: “Untrue, we live in a society.” This tangential ability allowed “I’ve never seen anything like this Sebastian “Polymorphous Sebastian to have a seat on the Elder in my 20 years on the force. I’ve never Professional” leaves behind two tur- Council from before the Great Plague. seen a person’s unpolished ideas and tles, a guinea pig, four headlines never He ruled alongside other Elders as be- deepest secrets plastered all over the conceived, sixteen Smash Bros. rants, nevolent deities, vanquishing foes and ceiling like some sort of macabre art sixty-four families of dice, and four taking names until the Plague washed expo.” With Sebastian “Coffee is Better thousand nintety-six decks of Magic: over everything. None remain of those Than Water” Socorro out of the The Gathering cards. With Sebastian days of yore except memories lost in PAOLA PEÑATE SUZIE DESCHAMBAULT Logan Macdonald & Michelle Akim Vanessa Marion Procrastinator Editor & News Editor the notepad app open on the screen Assistant Editor-in-Chief flight home, the unexpected happened. with a message written on it saying The plane crashed. Upon their crash, e sincerely regret to re- “S.O.S NEED WATER AND HELP”. uzie Deschambault was one of there were many survivors, Suzie being port that our own social All involved personnel are looking the kindest souls that travelled one of them. However, on the island they W media manager, Paola through her computer files to try S our planet. She spent her life pur- crashed already had survivors. They Peñate, was found dead of dehy- and find the source of this event. suing many of the passions, one mainly called themselves the “Lost Squad”. These dration in her room. Somehow, photography. This passion unfortunately two groups of survivors ended up having while working late Thursday eve- Paola was an integral part of also lead to her death. a rivalry, in which Suzie documented the ning, Paola had made a mistake the Bandersnatch team, and was rest of the battery of her camera. while updating the Bandersnatch essential to keeping us relevant On one of her adventures, she de- instagram and got herself sucked amongst the new and long-time cided to go photograph pictures of the While she was sleeping, the Lost into her computer screen. It is un- students of John Abbott College. different breeds of wild cats. Amongst her Squad wanted to steal the camera and de- known what the mistake that got As a last hurrah to Paola, journey, a tiny cheetah approached her, stroy it. As the Lost Squad entered their her into cyberspace was at the mo- Bandersnatch will be hosting a Live seemingly abandoned by their mother. area, Albert noticed and attacked them, ment, but Paola’s body now lies chat on Instagram. Please tune in They were not aggressive, simply scared. but not before they could smash the cam- dead, face down on her Windows to the Bandersnatch Instagram for Suzie’s kindness overtook her, and she de- era over Suzie’s head. XP grassy hills desktop with no the reading of her will on Live next cided to help the little creature. She way of returning to the real world. week. She will be greatly missed. brought them back to camp, and did her Suzie will never be forgotten for her research on how to care for it, and how to heroic ventures, compassionate soul, and Yes, we have tried turning the integrate it back into the wild. talent. computer on and off again, noth- ing has worked yet to retrieve her The connection between the chee- body. Bandersnatch is currently tah, which she named Albert, grew working with local authorities and stronger. The photos she took of Albert Paola’s Internet providers to try also launched her career further than and figure out what technical mis- ever imagined. After months in Africa, hap might have caused her passing; she had to head back home. however, it has given none of us any answers. The only thing we She decided to bring Albert back know for certain is that she died of with her, and had planned everything for dehydration because she had left him to have a great life. However, on the

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA OBITUARIESSaying Farewell to The Recently Graduated 11 MICHELLE AKIM VICTORIA NAVAS Sophia Jeroncic Arts Editor passed, but the two still found them- VIA-DUFRESNE selves isolated with supplies running Vanessa Marion, Andrea Nikilov, Michelle Akim ichelle Akim was a very stu- low. Assistant Editor-in-Chief, Games Editor, News Editor and began the preparation to attack dious, curious person who Victoria. M loved to write articles per- One day, the sun began to peek fter graduating from a presti- taining to ongoing, real-life issues and through the dense clouds of rain heav- gious university and winning a Their operation took months. We news in the world. Unfortunately, on ing down on Michelle and her Nobel Peace prize, the life of know this because moments before her th A April 28 , 2021, she met her fateful end. companion. It cast light upon a small Victoria Navas Via-Dufresne was filled death, Victoria gave a speech, in which path leading off of their island which with purpose and meaning. Finally ac- inspired King Razzy Chaz to escape and Michelle became a world-re- they had not seen before. The path was complishing everything, nothing could work with the authorities to take the nowned journalist in order to gain thick with mud, but Michelle could spy go wrong! Ribbity Guerilla down. firsthand experience for her articles. rocks where she could find footing. She often reported extremely contro- With their supplies low, they could not Victoria was working in a lab with Though King Razzy Chaz was gone, versial stories on politics and daring afford to spend another night, so dangerous compounds, but was proper- the fighter frogs still proceeded with the crimes. Michelle daringly stepped onto the ly equipped. These dangerous chemicals plan. Before she could scream for help, Two weeks ago, she was made path. What happened next was a tragic had been procured through the black the frogs ribbiteded and launched them- aware of a tantalizing scandal regarding accident wherein Michelle and her market, and Victoria knew that she only selves towards her, grabbing onto her exploitation happening in the depths of guide were sucked into quicksand with had one shot at successfully executing until she was more frog than human. the Amazon rainforest. As soon as no means of escape. May they rest in the experiment. For the first time ever, word reached her, she packed her bag peace. she was observing the radioactive explo- Victoria was an intelligent young and set off to Brazil. sion outcome in creatures (frogs in this woman, best known for her work in case), and how to help them. venom milking and her role as Science After combing the heart of & Tech Editor for Bandersnatch. She will Amazonia for days, a great confusion Unbeknownst to Victoria, the frogs be greatly missed. fell upon her and her companion. There began conspiring, and developing high- was no evidence of any form of exploi- er intellectual abilities. Over time, they tation anywhere in the rainforest. She all began to mutate and plot revenge soon became aware of the fact that the against the scientists in the lab. The fall- whole story had been a ruse; her com- out from the explosion turned off their panion received an anonymous tip that empathy and compassion. she had been lured to the Amazon as a distraction. As Michelle attempted to Victoria continued to observe make a phone call, a terrible storm be- chemical mess to avoid turning Sainte- gan brewing, and soon, Michelle and Anne-de-Bellevue into a radioactive her guide found themselves drenched wasteland. Meanwhile, the frogs named and stranded on a small island created themselves the Ribbity Guerilla and by flooding from the storm. A few days elected a frog king, King Razzy Chaz, ANDRÉA NIKOLOV GURSAGAR SINGH Vanessa Marion & Sebastian Socorro Vanessa Marion & Andrea Nikolov Assistant Editor-in-Chief & Editor-in-Chief knew it, water had entered into the Assistant Editor-in-Chief & Games Editor Though he once again survived. electronics, sending a wave of elec- ntelligent, logical and comedic tricity and shocking her. ursagar Singh was a self-made Minutes later, he proceeded to try to are just a few words to describe billionaire from the Stock recline on a lounge chair, but it malfunc- I Andréa Nikolov. She lived her As written very specifically in her G Market, who died at the unripe tioned and somersaulted him out of the life competing, and winning. Andréa will, she wanted a game created about age of 92. He lived the way he died, in an chair. played several games competitively, her life and death. As the gaming unexpected series of events. and also created several titles of her world mourned her loss, several pub- Bruised, but still alive, he finished own, including League of Legends 2: lishers came out with a different way There were many possibilities of watching the game with his friends whilst Reloaded and Valorant 3: Revenge of of commemorating her. She was made death that night, though it happened in sore, and then proceeded to drive home. the Bucky. into skins for several of her favourite the most absurd way. However, on his way home, is when the games, the next Hideo Kojima game final tragedy struck for Gursagar. Whilst Andréa’s death was unexpected. was named after her, and even Jeff It was the eve of the NBA finals, driving home, he collided with a moose. She took risks when it came to travel, Kaplan descended from the heavens Gursagar began his yearly routine of Upon this impact, he was flung out of his adventures, but never her career. She to confirm that she would be playable meeting up with “the fellas” and watching car and skid across the pavement until worked hard and tirelessly, but loved in Overwatch 3 by FromSoftware. He it at his friend’s house. But while driving stopping, battered and cut up. it. One night, she was up late gaming also let everyone know that she’s just he did a 360 with his car, as the wheel for practice. She was so into the game fine up there, she just unboxed a but- slipped since he was driving with his legs This did not kill him, but the moose, she did not realize the small flood terfly knife in CS:GO. rather than hands. Miraculously, he was not being seriously injured, proceeded to starting in her apartment. Her cat, fine, and continued his drive. eat Gursagar as a snack. (named RayTracer), had used his lit- Andréa will be greatly missed, for tle paw to turn on the tap on the sink. creating joy in other’s lives with her During the game, he commented He will be sincerely missed for his Slowly but surely, water began to fill intelligence, commitment and her in- over the plays, angering his old wrinkly witty banter, unwarranted opinions, and the apartment. As she was sitting far credibly hype Tetris any% glitchless friends and spinning them into a fuming sick moves. Gursagar was a cool guy, and from the start of the leak, it took long speedrun. rage. They ended up lightly choking him one of the chillest editors of Bandersnatch for her to notice. Too long. Before she to get him to stop talking about Bitcoin. Newspaper.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18TH, 2020 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 6 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA SPORTS with Gursagar Singh Can be reached through MIO12 WIFE-CARRYING A Sport You Really Should Know Exists

Tammy Haddad Staff Writer taken without a clinging wife your neighbor’s spouse (if she is first theory is that one couldn’t will get the couple disqualified. willing, that is). join his gang of misfits unless f we’re being honest, the they were able to clear an obsta- world is an odd place: Wives are also subjected to a Carrying a wife is no easy cle course of his. The second I emetophilia is a thing, few rules. She can be no young- task. There are three main ways theory states that Rosvo- clowns somehow exist, and er than 17 years of age and weigh to carry. There is the traditional Ronkainen would train his there are people out there who no less than 49 kg. If she is un- Piggyback ride, which will stop thieves by making them run an genuinely don’t like cake. A tru- der 49 kg, she will be weighed the wife’s head from being im- obstacle course whilst carrying ly baffling world. Sports are not down by rucksacks. Wives must mersed when you jump into the heavy bags on their shoulders. exempt of this. In 1992, the first wear a helmet at all times, and pool, but will hinder the carri- The third theory, not connected ever Wife-Carrying World carriers have the right to a belt er’s arms. There is also the to the gang leader, refers to the Championship was held in to help their spouses more easi- fireman’s carry, where the carri- legend of a village whose men Sonkajärvi, Finland. Yes, you ly cling for dear life. er flings the wife over their would sneak into other villages read this correctly. Wife- shoulder. Yet, the most popular and steal the wives to make Carrying is a real sport played What is the prize for win- by far is the Estonian method, them theirs. by real people. As I said, a truly ning what is essentially the where the wife is held upside- baffling world. ultimate couple’s test? Your down on the carrier’s back with No matter how this sport wife’s weight in beer! Other her legs around their neck. The originated, be it from brigand Wife-Carrying, as the name prizes are given to the second one disadvantage? She’s sure to training or wife-napping, it re- suggests, is a sport where men and third fastest couple, to the drown if the carrier doesn’t clear mains an extremely popular and run a 253.5-metre track whilst most entertaining couple, to the the water obstacle quickly entertaining sport. People from carrying their wives on their strongest carrier, and to the enough. all around the world compete in back. The course, a flat surface, couple with the best costume. either local championships, or is composed of two dry obsta- There are three prevalent the World Championship in cles and a wet one (a pool). Don’t have a wife? That’s theories as to the immergence Finland. Anyone can compete. Contestants must keep their okay! You can still participate! of this bizarre test of strength. For the competition held in wives attached to them at all The rules don’t specify whose Two of them revolve around a Sonkajärvi, the only require- times to be allowed to advance wife you need to carry. You can 17th century gang leader by the ment are 50 euros and, of course, in the obstacle course. Any step always borrow your friend’s or name of Rosvo-Ronkainen. The a wife. BIANCA ANDREESCU SPORT CULTURE Stay Strong And its strain from COVID Andrea Nikolov Gursagar Singh Games Editor Having come back from a Sports Editor Netflix watch parties which solely 15-month knee injury and having retain the collaboration, have cre- s badly as things have gotten had to retire in the second set during ith the former 8 P.M. ated a sense of isolation which is for the world of sports dur- the Miami Open because of an ankle curfew back in place and damaging to the character and per- A ing this pandemic, it is injury, she hasn’t had as many op- W the variants not giving sonal development of those within always regrettable when people’s ca- portunities to play recently as she Canada any time to breathe with our age group. Especially athletes reers is halted or even destroyed would hope. Although she will miss the lack of vaccine availability, the who have been conditioned to use because of COVID-19. This is the this month’s open, it is still necessary summer looks like it’s going to sports culture as the margins of case with Bianca Andreescu, the for hers and other players’ safeties. again be throttled — presumably their expressive traits. Canadian tennis star, who sadly test- We can only hope that the next open more so than last time. This by ex- ed positive for COVID-19 last will be her time to shine. tension places a strain on sports. We can sit on social media and Sunday, and will therefore need to The clear impact is being shown on watch sports highlights, we can withdraw from the upcoming The Madrid 2021 Open will be- games and leagues getting shifted talk to each other about how crazy Madrid Open. gin Tuesday, April 29th, and run until or cancelled. Steph’s April has been, but sports May 8th; we can only imagine that talk has only ever been used as a After being tested several times Bianca will be watching and sup- This however is solely the ex- precursor to the pickup, the hang- before flying to Madrid and all tests porting her fellow players. pected consequence on the sport out or the big game. The temporary coming back negative, Andreescu world. The deep-rooted impact lies death of sportswear culture (as was quite sure that she would be within the impact on sport culture. there is nowhere to go) and the in- moving along in her tennis career. No late-night ball games or hockey ability to express your skills on the Regrettably, she was informed upon nights with your friends and no court, have castrated athletes. arrival to Madrid that a test of hers pickup games under the lights. We came back positive. Andreescu has must face again a lack of activities This may have been the way it’s stated that she is “feeling good, rest- and spaces that allow for escapism been going since the start of the ing, and is continuing to follow the in the sports world. Although this pandemic. It is a consequence that health protocols and safety guide- has already been established as the needs to be reiterated until the re- lines.” We are happy to hear that new normal, this deficiency must ignition of sports and sports even after everything she is still im- again be reiterated. The prolonged culture, we no longer have that patient to get back on the court as lack of collaborative, physical ac- summer we were looking forward quickly as possible. Source: Wikimedia Commons tivities unlike videogames or to.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA OPINIONS with Palmer Krilick-Tomchishen Can be reached through MIO 13 SUMMER 2021 COMODAL CLASSES Sophia Jeroncic Nicole Widerlund Arts Editor immune. Immunity does not begin Staff Writer distracting presence of the camera right away, nor does it mean that peo- at the middle of the room. But it or quite a while, talk of the ple won’t get the virus; people can still or more than a year, edu- was a delight to see the teacher 2021 summer season has cir- contract the virus, they are merely cation has been taught and being able to do the small F culated amongst young and protected against potential hospital- F online. Sitting through a things that we are not able to do old people alike. However, the ques- izations or death. Moreover, the lecture in front of a screen at home online: to raise an actual hand up, tion is: will we really be able to have a vaccine requires the second dose to be is a familiar part of one’s routine to be in a different environment so-called normal summer? maximally effective. by now. The lack of interactions than one’s bedroom, and to be has certainly made the days more able to chat before and after the I don’t think this summer is going Furthermore, Summer 2021 is for predictable and static. lecture. For once, this school day to be as “amazing” and “normal” as it sure going to cause COVID-19 cases was exciting and different. This has been called. It definitely won’t be to spike. If we take vaccines out of the A group of teachers and staff sharp turn is one that is heading normal since masks are still going to equation for a moment, there is a large members at the college are cur- towards the classes that we used be necessary; the question now is how number of people who simply don’t rently working on implementing to have once upon a time. well will people comply, especially af- care. Even if we all have a good time comodal classes. The way it works ter receiving the first dose of the this summer, as believed, it won’t come is that the teacher would be in a vaccine? without a hefty cost. I personally dread classroom and the lecture would summer because I will have to witness be filmed to send synchronously If the summer was truly a normal mass gatherings, but we’re not there to a teams meeting. Students can one, cases would be uncontrollable, yet, so I guess one problem at a time. choose to attend the class either and hospitalizations and deaths would in-person or online. Because co- surge immensely. Therefore, already, We are still able to have a fun sum- modal classes are a new concept, it Summer 2021 is not going to be back mer despite the situation. However, is still developing and is very to normal, even if vaccines are admin- for this to happen safely, masks and much an experiment at the istered. Here’s why: not everyone will distancing must still remain in effect moment. want the vaccine. This means there after getting vaccinated, especially will be a number of individuals who since most people will only be receiv- I got the opportunity to expe- are not protected against the vaccine. ing their first dose of the vaccine at the rience a comodal class at school Even if they’re healthy, there will be a end of June. The only way this summer recently. It did not feel the same as risk of them contracting it and either can be fun and safe is if we work to- having a regular class at school suffering from it or passing it along to gether and protect one another instead when being in an almost empty someone else. Additionally, anyone of rushing the process and putting classroom, seeing classmates who gets the vaccine is not 100% oneself before others’ health. through a big tv-screen, and the Source: Wikimedia Commons GEORGE FLOYD AND BLM, A YEAR LATER Palmer Krilick-Tomchishen Opinions Editor affecting people of colour, specifically other individual in society. We have a who was one of the first founders of black people the most. Duncan Lemp, policing problem, which lies at the core the Black Lives movement back in o preface, it has not been ex- Stephen Clark, Elijah McClain, of the requirements for the job itself; po- 2016, has gone on to admonish the ac- actly a year since George Floyd Atatiana Jefferson, and Daniel Shaver lice are the pawns of the state that help tions of the international branch of T was viciously attacked in the (who was shot with a gun that had the uphold the monopoly upon the force, BLM and its leaders on the podcast streets. However as we approach the markings “You’re Fucked” on the side and police officers are not made to -re DarkHorse. Many of the smaller origi- one year anniversary of this horrific by the police officer who wielded it) flect upon what they are enforcing. This nal chapters of BLM have called out event, and with the recent proclama- are just a few. 17 year-old John Albers lack of regard for what is being enforced the national BLM for hoarding up to tion of the conviction of Derek Chauvin who was supposed to be getting sets up the preconditions for tyranny $90 million worth of funds despite for murder, it seems that this is a peak checked in on for his mental health by and injustices alike; it is what allows po- there still being homelessness, hunger, opportunity to provide an update on police was subsequently shot to death lice officers to stand by theirand lack of funds for schools for black the BLM movement in light of a pleth- instead, Casey Goodson Jr., Ryan contemporaries as they commit heinous and minority children. Brittany King ora of significant events, as well as Whitaker, Philando Castile, among acts, as they are provided with the men- has also brought up an important issue provide my own insight on these others; way too many more. tal justification that they are simply with white allyship and its performa- matters. following protocols or orders. tive nature, which I wholeheartedly The fact of the matter is that in- Simultaneously, and not to be too cliché, agree with. There is a perspective that Firstly, as aforementioned, Derek stances of police brutality oftentime go with great power comes great responsi- many white individuals have used Chauvin has been officially convicted without justice; this is exemplified in the bility, and thus a more stringent vetting BLM as a trend to hop on to in order of murder, which should not come as a aforementioned cases. It is important to process for police, and/or an equaliza- to receive clout and self gratification— surprise to anyone. The brutal and note that African Americans have the tion of power between police and essentially using the movement as a cold-blooded murder of George Floyd largest lifetime risk of being murdered civilians must be implemented. way to virtue signal. The fact of the captured on a video that lasted nine by police in contrast to all other races, matter is that there are still a lot of minutes and twenty nine seconds pro- and that men have a disproportionately In other news regarding the BLM kinks to smooth out pertaining to the vided clear evidence of police higher rate of being murdered by police movement, Patrisse Khan Cullors, a movement, policing, institutions and misconduct. This is unlike many po- than women. In my eyes it is important supposed Marxist and Black Lives society as a whole. I think the core val- lice murders, that oftentimes last a few to recognize the injustices we face as a Matter leader, has recently purchased ues of the movement however are seconds due to their executions being whole, as people of the world, regardless a $1.4 million home with funds that seminal to the advancement of our so- carried out with a firearm.of sex or race; we must reprimand police cannot be traced and are likely ex- ciety and social prosperity, and that we Unfortunately many other police mur- officers and hold them accountable for tracted from donations to the will continue to advance as a result of ders have gone without justice, their actions, akin to how we treat any organization. Activist Brittany King, increased social awareness and effort.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA SCIENCE & TECH with Victoria Navas Via-Dufresne Can be reached through MIO 14 NASA’S NEW LUNAR WHAT ARE COVID-19 LANDER VARIANTS? Marc Randy Elizabeth Tulli Production Manager In NASA’s evaluation report, it cit- Student Life Editor Regarding COVID-19, scien- ed SpaceX’s bidding price being tists are closely studying the variants n April 16th, 2021, NASA the lowest as a factor as to why ince COVID-19 continues to to learn more about their infec- announced its selection Starship was chosen, as well as an circulate globally, many mu- tiousness and how they react to O for its Human Landing excellent management rating. S tations of the virus are being treatment and prevention. System (HLS) awards. In its return detected. So, what are mutations of Coronaviruses are named for their to the Moon under the Artemis SpaceX’s Starship vehicle is a the virus? crown-like spike proteins on their program, NASA is contracting fully reusable two-stage launch surfaces. Scientists are observing private companies to indepen- system composed of the Starship To start, viruses are constantly changes in the virus such as changes dently build Lunar landers. This is spacecraft, and the orbital booster changing or mutating. Viruses can in the spikes of the virus. Mutations a departure from the Apollo era, Super Heavy. Its development was undergo genetic changes over time. also occur at different rates; new where NASA directed government started before NASA awarded Some genetic changes in viruses are variants may emerge and disappear contractors to make spacecraft to SpaceX an HLS development con- less severe than others. However, or persist and survive. their specifications. NASA has tract, as Starship is meant to be an genetic changes become a problem chosen SpaceX’s Starship launch interplanetary spacecraft capable when they affect the spread of a vi- Some COVID-19 variants system as the spacecraft that will of bringing up to 100 metric tons rus or how the body’s immune spread more easily. These variants land humans on the Moon for the of cargo and crew to the Moon, system reacts to a virus. These ge- are called Variants of Concern. The first time in over 50 years. Mars, and beyond. For NASA’s netic changes are called variants. A variants include B.1.1.7, B.1.351, HLS needs, SpaceX will be making variant is a virus that has changed and P.1. Researchers have found NASA initially selected three a Moon version of Starship. — mutated — enough to represent a preliminary evidence that these companies to compete for an HLS separate branch of the family of the variants may re-infect people who contract: Dynetics, Blue Origin NASA’s Artemis program had virus. A virus mutates when it repli- have recovered from earlier ver- and its “National Team”, and an initial date of 2024 for landing cates its RNA, a nucleic acid sions of the virus. Contrarily, the SpaceX in May 2020. NASA at the a crew on the Moon, but the agen- responsible for protein synthesis vaccines are still effective in neu- time was in talks to down select cy is currently conducting an and carrying the genetic informa- tralizing the variants, but the one or two HLS proposals, but internal study to evaluate its tion of some viruses, in a host’s vaccine efficacy rate differs. Stay ended up only choosing SpaceX. timeline. cells. safe and healthy, everyone. TORNADOES AND WEATHER Victoria Navas Via-Dufresne Science & Tech Editor their motion. By analyzing the type Radiosondes are instruments that are The NWS (Numerical Weather and strength of precipitation, the usually attached to weather balloons Prediction) collects the data and rom the month of March to Doppler radars allow meteorologists to collect data on atmospheric param- compares it to previous meteorologi- the month of June, the U.S. to determine the severity of a storm. eters and transmit back to a ground cal data to suggest weather forecasts F suffers tornado season mostly The weather radars work by projecting receiver by radio. This type of technol- to meteorologists. NWS predicts the on the Tornado Alley located at the directional microwave radiation puls- ogy was first attempted in the second weather by creating simulations using center of the country. es which depending on the half of the 19th century using kites and mathematical models of the Earth. precipitation will bounce back towards meteographs. Although initially attempted in the Tornadoes form during supercell the radar. Between pulses, the radar 1920s, the technology had not accu- storms which are regular thunder- acts as a receiver, waiting for any sig- Buoys are also common in weath- rately or realistically predicted storms with a vortex in the center. As nals that bounced back from droplets. er data collection. Weather buoys also weather until the ‘50s. the supercell storm grows, the vortex The pulses are then spaced out enough collect ocean data. These buoys have at its center siphons warm air and as to not have returning signals from been used since 1951 and have helped Tornado warnings are issued af- moisture upward while pushing cold different pulses overlapping. in studying El Niño in the Pacific ter a tornado, funnel cloud or rotation dry air down towards the earth. For ocean. Weather buoys collect better in the clouds has been perceived. the tornado to form, the air on the Radiosondes, weather satellites, data than ships since they report data These warnings are not to be con- ground needs to be spinning. This buoys and other technologies can also closer to the water than ships and have fused with a tornado watch. A happens when enough warm and cold be used to obtain weather data. less possible sources of error. tornado watch simply indicates air is in flow. The movement of the weather conditions that are favorable wind then causes a spiraling move- to creating tornadoes. In the U.S., a ment which, as it gets closer to its tornado watch can easily turn into a rotation axis, allows a tornado to form. higher level of alert when the possi- bility of tornadoes is to affect an area Meteorologists, understanding that is highly populated. how tornadoes form, are then able to issue warnings to possibly affected ar- Tornadoes come in different eas by checking the movement of the types and intensity going from EF0 to wind with systems such as Doppler the most severe EF5 depending on weather radars. wind speeds and the amount of dam- age to the human environment. Doppler weather radars, first used Yearly, the U.S. receives an average of during World War 2, are radars that al- 1000 tornadoes, and Canada an aver- low for the locating of rain, snow or age of 100. Watch out for tornado other precipitations and determining Source: Flickr season this spring.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA PROCRASTINATOR with Logan Macdonald Can be reached through MIO15 THE BANDERS: SPOOKY LUKE Logan Macdonald Procrastinator Editor

ASTROLOGY: STANDOFF Sebastian Socorro TAURUS SEASON Editor-in-Chief Elisabeth Beauzile Staff Writer moodiness can be expected. In this placement, Mars is in its fall, s the Sun travels the Taurus the total opposite of its exaltation constellation from April in Capricorn. Essentially, the nat- A 19th to May 19th, a substan- ural expressions of the planet tial change in energy will be felt. could be slightly more arduous to Indeed, after fiery Aries season, release spontaneously. However, which bursts of impulse, creativi- here comes in the Pluto retrograde ty, and rush, earthy Taurus slows in Capricorn four days later, to everything down. When its moti- helps us review all the lessons vation is sparked, The Taurean learned so far. You have to move spirit is naturally determined, on; don’t succumb to the Cancerian practical, and productive. In the energy clinging to the past! next weeks, mindfulness sets in; prioritize quality over quantity by On May 3rd, Mercury enters getting rid of what does not speak Gemini, and so does Venus on the to you. However, be aware of the 8th. At home, the planet of com- shadowy bull. In its low vibra- munication will love witty and tions, stubbornness wins over, and flirty banter. As for Venus, the our own comfort zone and desire fickle and adaptable airy Geminian of control is overexploited. Letting energy will zest up areas of love go of the small details will help and beauty. All of this air can blur you strike balance within Taurean our vision, but the new moon in energy. Taurus on May 11th will be the ide- al time to recenter our plans and As Mars entered Cancer on manifest our desires! April 23rd, hyper-sensitivity and REJECTED HEADLINES Sebastian Socorro Editor-in-Chief - “Do I still have time to show- - “Haha two weeks off” laughs - “Hope you’re taking breaks er?” wonders teen at 3:24 A.M. student in March of 2020 and taking care of yourselves, - “Sorry sir my dog ate my btw this assignment is worth camera.” - Due to COVID, finals to be - Time traveller causes the fire 30%” replaced with cage fights with at the Library of Alexandria - Students caught smuggling the teacher - Suspect’s car was definitely frogs and toads - Twitter becomes country, of- green with blue stripes - Sea levels drop, Old Zealand ficial language is Korean revealed

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA BACKPAGE 16

BREAKING POINT THIS IS IT FOR Winner of the Photography Club’s Long Exposure Competition THIS SEMESTER Baily Abrahams FOLKS! Contributor

THIS SPACE IS RESERVED TO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINALS!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 | VOLUME 50, ISSUE 12 VISIT BANDERSNATCH.CA