FREE Lodging • Shopping The Conch Republic Dining • Entertainment OCONUT ELEGRAPH TCHE COCONUT TELEGRAPH IS PROUD TO BE THE OFFICIAL NEWSPA T PER OF THE NORTHERNMOST TERRITORIES OF THE CONCH REPUBLIC

101425 Overseas Hwy. • PMB #628 • Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305-304-2837 • www.theconchtelegraph.com • May 2015

Inside: Attractions A Horoscope Just for Us

What’s Hot & What’s Not Art Box Artist of the Month: Jason Barth Hunk of the Month: Glenn Hoover Bartender of the Month: Phil Padrick at Gilbert’s

Maps Key Largo Locator Map Getting from Here to There

All the Buzz Coco-Nut Funnies Mangrove Galley Conch Characters Business in the Keys Sounds of the Keys

At Mile Maker 99.5 Bayside is a magical complex of three related businesses. Cafe Largo, Key Largo’s favorite Italian restaurant, is on the highway. Behind that on the water you’ll find Bayside Grille upstairs and the Bayside Sunset Bar downstairs. Daily sunset celebrations, dancing on the beach, and world-class blues acts are just part of the charm. There’s also an affordable menu of “Keyribbean” delights, refreshing drinks and a staff that is simply excellent. This month there’s a great lineup of blues. See the ads below and on page 4 for more information.

May Highlight

ON THE BEACH • MM 99.5 BAYSIDE

KEY LARGO • 305-451-3380 THURSDAY THRU SATURDAY May 14,15 & 16: Live Music • Happy Hour • Sunset Mac Arnold & Plate Full O' Blues World class entertainers, in Key Largo on the beach. "Corn Bread & Collard Greens Festival" It doesn’t get any better than this! Old-school blues, soul and funk; he’s toured and recorded Look for ad inside or check the calendar at keylargo-baysidegrill.com for all of our live music on the beach. with Muddy Waters Band, Otis Redding & B.B. King. 2 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 3 Articles stands for Trap, Neuter, and Coconut Telegraph Cast of Characters: Return. Editorial: Childhood Bullies Turn Into Adult Bullies...... 2 Things My Mother Taught Me... May 2015 These cats shouldn’t be Things My Mother Taught Me...... 3 Volume 9 Issue #99 Editor/Sales/Distribution re-trapped or taken to a Deadly Facts About Water...... 4 shelter, unless sick. Instead, My mother taught me to appre- ciate a job well done: “If you’re Prestige Publishing, Inc Denise Malefyt Cute and Weatherproof from Up Your Hair...... 4 they should be left in their neighborhood to provide cat going to kill each other, do it 101425 Overseas Highway 305-304-2837 Hunk of the Month: Glenn Hoover...... 6 population control. Studies outside. I just finished cleaning.” PMB #628 [email protected] Adopt An Animal, Key Largo Shelter...... 6 show that just by being there, they prevent other cats from Key Largo, FL 33037 A Horoscope Just for Us!...... 7 My mother taught me reli- moving into the area. gion: “You better pray that will acting like your Art Box Artist: Jason Barth...... 8 Deadline Advertising Production Even if you don't tike cats, come out of the carpet!” father!” Sounds of the Keys...... 9 These cats have been "ear-tipped" or TNR ear-tipped cats have an for the Sue Beal My mother taught me Gilbert’s is Taste-Testing the “Boobie”...... 10 "notched". This is a surgical alteration important job to do in keep- My mother taught me about Coconut Telegraph’s 305-451-4601 showing that a free-living cat has been ing your neighborhood a time travel: “If you don’t about envy: “There Bartender of the Month: Phil Padrick at Gilbert’s...... 11 next issue is beal_s @bellosuth.net spayed/neutered. It's part of TNR, which nice place to live. straighten up, I’m going to are millions of less fortunate Getting from Here to There - Keys Map Page...... 12-13 children in this world who don’t Friday, knock you into the middle of Bufo Toad Season is Back...... 14 have wonderful parents like you May 22, 2015 next week!” Shot Ski at Sharkey’s...... 14 do.” Notice: We do not mail out My mother taught me logic: Contact Denise at Island Market Ribbon Cutting...... 15 the Coconut Telegraph and “Because, I said so, that’s why.” My mother taught me about an- 305-304-2837 we do not sell subscriptions. Mangrove Galley: Mexican Drumsticks...... 16 ticipation: “Just wait until your [email protected] Coco“Nut” Funnies...... 18-19 My mother taught me more log- father gets home!” It is available for free online at ic: “If you fall out of that swing Key Largo Locator Map Page...... 20 www.theconchtelegraph.com. and break your neck, you’re not My mother taught me about Classified Ads...... 21 going to the store with me.” receiving: “You are going to get For comments please visit The Daily OM: Control...... 21 it when you get home!” Conch Telegraph on Facebook. Business in the Keys...... 22 My mother taught me fore- sight: “Make sure you wear My mother taught me medi- Conch Characters...... 23 clean underwear, in case you’re cal science: “If you don’t stop in an accident.” crossing your eyes, they are go- ing to get stuck like that.” My mother taught me irony: “Keep crying and I’ll really give My mother taught me E.S.P.: Editorial: Childhood Bullies Turn Into Adult Bullies you something to cry about!” “Put your coat on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?” You would think that as people 2. Impulsive Adult Bully: ing. Additionally, a physical 5. Secondary Adult Bully: My mother taught me about the get older they would mature Adult bullies in this category bully may damage or steal This is someone who does Come Hungry! science of osmosis: “Shut your My mother taught me humor: and learn to stop the behav- are more spontaneous and a victim’s property, rather not initiate the bullying, but mouth and eat your supper.” “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come run- iors of their youth, but that plan their bullying out less. than physically confronting joins in so that he or she WITH THIS AD My mother taught me about con- ning to me.” isn’t always the case. Adult the victim. 10% OFF Even if consequences are does not actually become a tortionism: “Will you look at that bullying exists right here in likely, this adult bully has a victim down the road. Sec- 4. Verbal Adult Bully: dirt on the back of your neck?” My mother taught me how to the Keys. The goal of the hard time restraining his or ondary bullies may feel bad stop time: “If you don’t eat your Words can be quite damag- adult bully is to gain power her behavior. In some cases, about what they are doing, It's clean, it's fast, it's delicious!!! My mother taught me about vegetables, you’ll never grow up.” ing. Adult bullies who use over another person and make this type of bullying may be but are more concerned Great breakfast, great lunch, great everything!! stamina: “You’ll sit there until you this type of tactic may COC-TEL My mother taught me about themselves the dominant unintentional, resulting in about protecting themselves. eat all the spinach on your plate.” start rumors about the 6 am - 2 pm • 7 Days justice: “Someday you’ll have adult. Here is a list I found of periods of stress, or when MM 99.7 Bayside victim, or use sarcastic My mother taught me about kids, and I hope they turn out different styles of adult bul- the bully is actually upset or Hopefully this will help you 99696 Overseas Highway, Key Largo or demeaning language to behavior modification: “Stop just like you!” lies. Perhaps you know one. concerned about something to recognize the character- docsdinerkeylargo.com • 305-451-2895 dominate or humiliate an- unconnected with the victim. istics of a bully and realize 1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: other person. This subtle you are not going crazy, they This type of adult bully is 3. The Physical Bully: type of bullying also has the are the ones that are crazy. self-centered and does not While adult bullying rarely advantage - to the bully - of Their goal is to get you to share empathy with others. turns to physical confronta- being difficult to document. break down and do what they Additionally, there is little tion, there are, nonetheless, However, the emotional and want. If this happens in the anxiety about consequences. bullies that use physicality. psychological impacts of work place keep a record of He or she seems to feel good In some cases, the adult bul- verbal bullying can be felt it. Report it to your supervi- about him or herself, but in ly may not actually physically quite keenly and can result sor. If you get no satisfac- reality has a brittle narcis- harm the victim, but may use in reduced job performance tion go to your family physi- sism that requires putting the threat of harm, or physi- and even depression. cian and explain it to him or others down. cal domination through loom- her. Talk to a lawyer. Disclaimer The Coconut Telegraph © 2006-2015 is published monthly by Prestige Publishing, INC. All Telegraph assumes in good faith that all editorial and advertising material submitted are rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent of the original property of the advertiser. The Coconut Telegraph may not be held responsible the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph welcomes written articles, photos, and artwork of for errors, omissions, or for circumstances beyond our control that may affect the distribution local interest to be used and/or edited at the discretion of the publisher. The Coconut schedule. 4 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 5 THE DEADLY FACTS ABOUT WATER Up Your Hair: Go Cute and Weatherproof Up Your Hair is here to and head bands are the way to tell you this month‛s beauty go cute and weatherproof. FACT! FACT! trends. Hair, makeup, and Try a light shadow and nails... find out how to get avoid heavy foundations and Water can be chemi- Water is one of the that runway look here! liners to keep away the cally synthesized by primary ingredients in As the rain falls so does feared smudge. burning rocket fuel. herbicides and our hair and makeup, but don‛t The sun is right around pesticides. worry! The trends kept that the corner, or behind the unfashionable weather in mind clouds, and is coming in a with these end-of-Spring presummer wave, no time‛s FACT! FACT! “Do”s. Low ponys, tight braids, better to try that short ear-tuckable bob! Over consumption can 100% of people Keep it cool in the humid- cause temporary exposed to water ity and wear the hair off the deafness, hair loss will die. and even death. face, try a nude eye and bring the focus into a juicy pink or plump red lip. If the red isn‛t FACT! FACT! quite your shade, we are also seeing a lot of bright peaches and light oranges. Spend one 100% of all serial Water is the killers and drug leading cause of of these rainy days seeing dealers have admitted drowning. what works for you. to drinking water. If you‛re looking for a change or need advice, call or stop by Up Your Hair Salon or SO ORDER THAT BEER, AND DRINK UP! check out www.upyourhair.com to set up a free consultation.

Bayside Blues Concerts Concert Showtime: 6:30pm

SATURDAY May 2: Chris O'Leary 2011 Blues Music Award for Best New Artist - First-class, Chicago-style harmonica and vocals, Chris is a natural frontman.

THURSDAY-SATURDAY May 14,15 & 16: Mac Arnold "Corn Bread & Collard Greens Festival" Old-school blues, soul and funk; he’s toured and recorded with Muddy Waters Band, Otis Redding & B.B. King.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND SATURDAY-SUNDAY Neck & Shoulder Expert May 23 & 24: Selwyn Birchwood Band Certifications: • Cranial Sacral Birchwood is a guitar and lap-steel-playing bundle of pure energy (CranioSacral) Therapy who delivers high-octane blues with a revival tent preacher's fervor • Lymphatic Drainage relaxing & rejuvenating • Visceral Manipulation and a natural storyteller's charisma. • Neural and Roma Lambert: LMT #MA48621 Neuromeningeal Manipulation Wrap & Deep Massage Special • Body Contouring World class entertainers, in Key Largo on the beach. CONTOUR • Swe-Thai Massage PACKAGE $25 • Sports Massage It doesn’t get any better than this! OFF • Deep Tissue • Swedish Check the calendar at keylargo-baysidegrill.com • Yoga Certified for more great Bluesfest bookings 754-244-0260 Call to schedule your appointment - or stop in today at MM 99.2 (Inside the Hair Studio: “Up Your Hair”) MM 99.5 Bayside, behind Cafe Largo 99228 Overseas Hwy, Key Largo, FL 33037 6 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 7 A Horoscope Just for Us!

of the a 501(c)3 organization promoting COMMUNITY THEATER in the UPPER KEYS Some of us Southerners are pretty They love to get in the melting pot of know you best, your friends and loved Hunk Month presents MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20) skeptical regarding horoscopes and You’re the type that spends a lot of life and share their essence with the ones, may find that your personality is the people that read them. If we are time on the front porch. A cinch to essence of those around them. Col- much too salty, and their criticism will to ever fully understand all the star recognize the physical appearance lards make good social workers, psy- affect you deeply because you are signs and the people they represent, of Moon Pies. Big and round are the chologists, and baseball managers. really much softer than you appear. we need symbols that all true South- key words here. You should marry As far as your personal life goes, if you You should go right ahead and marry erners understand. Here are Thad anybody who you can get remotely are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. anybody you want to because in a Bowling’s suggestions: interested in the idea. It’s not going to It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of certain way, yours is a charmed life. On be easy. You always have a big smile heartache. the road of life, you can be sure that OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on and are happy. This might be the year people will always pull over and stop the outside but tender on the inside. to think about aerobics. Maybe not. CATFISH (Jul 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are for you. Okras have tremendous influence. traditionalists in matters of the heart, An older Okra can look back over his POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21) although one’s whiskers may cause BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) A COMEDY life and see the seeds of his influence When confronted with life’s difficulties, problems for loved ones. You Catfish Always invite a Butter Bean to a party Executive Co-Director possums have a marked tendency to Producer Produced by Directed by Dennis everywhere. You can do something are never easy people to understand. because Butter Beans get along well Tom Butler Paul & Patrice Messina Jonelle Kop Caltagirone good each day if you try. withdraw and develop a don’t-both- You run fast. You work and play hard. with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, STARRING er-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes Even though you prefer the muddy should be proud. You’ve grown on Russell Holmes • Graham Garson CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins you become so withdrawn, people bottoms to the clear surface of life, the vine of life, and you feel at home actually think you’re dead. This strat- Bert Hubby • Deborah Mendoza • Marlene Berger • Tommy Chambers come from humble backgrounds. A you are liked by most. Above all else, no matter what the setting. You can Chitlin, however, will make something egy is probably not psychologically Catfish should stay away from Moon sit next to anybody. However, you, We join the residents of the “third smallest” town in the Texas as they reconvene of himself if he is motivated and has healthy but seems to work for you. Pies. too, shouldn’t have anything to do for a high school reunion and celebrate the 4th of July, Tuna style. There’s also a lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chit- You are a rare breed. Most folks love with Moon Pies. hotly contested election to choose a queen for the celebration. It should be a great lins, be careful they may surprise you. to watch you work and play. You are GRITS (Aug 24 - Sep 23) Your highest time, if they can survive write-in candidates, alien visitations and poisonous potato salad. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins a night person and mind your own aim is to be with others like yourself. ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) are best with Catfish and Okra. business. You like to huddle together with a You have a tendency to develop 8PM CURTAIN • Doors Open at 7pm Key Largo Lion’s Club MM 99.6 Oceanside • Behind Capital Bank big crowd of other Grits. You love to a tough exterior, but you are actu- Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French, Inc. BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) CRAWFISH (May 22 - Jun 21) travel though, so maybe you should ally quite gentle and kind inside. A Crawfish is a water sign. If you work WED FRI SAT WED FRI SAT You have an overwhelming curiosity. think about joining a club. Where do good evening for you? Old friends, MAY You’re unsatisfied with the surface of in an office, you’re hanging around you like to go? Anywhere they have a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and • • • • things, and you feel the need to bore the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or insects. You are a throwback. You’re 6 8 9 2015 13 15 16 deep into the interior of everything. beach to the mountains, the pool to eggs and a good time. If you can go not concerned with today’s fashions the golf course, and the bathtub to Admission $13 in Advance or $15 at the Door/Online Needless to say, you are very intense somewhere where they have all these and trends. You’re not concerned Advance tickets available at these locations, or online: and driven as if you had some inner the living room. You tend not to be things, that serves you well. You are with anything about today. You’re Ticket outlets have a limited number of advance tickets, so buy early. hunger. You love to stay busy and particularly attractive physically, but pure in heart. almost prehistoric in your interests you have very, very good heads. Shear Paradise The UPS Store Post Net tend to work too much. Nobody in and behavior patterns. You probably Cedar Towers (MM 99.3) Trade Winds Plaza (MM 100.4) Islamorada (MM 88) their right mind is going to marry you, You want to marry another Armadillo, but Glenn Hoover COLLARDS (Jun 22 - Jul 23) Collards BOILED PEANUTS (Sep 24 - Oct 23) More info/online ticket: www.thekeyplayers.org so don’t worry about it. have a genius for communication. have a passionate desire to help your a Possum is another somewhat kinky fellow man. Unfortunately, those who mating possibility. Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet Meet a few of the animals who are currently available for adoption at the Key Largo Animal Shelter. If you are interested in taking one of these adorable furry friends home, stop by or call. The Shelter is located at mile marker 106 Oceanside; phone 305-451-0088.

Pepe Kitkat Letty Toretto

The Legion is now an official American Legion Riders Canteen. $25 membership fee, join now. Open 8 am - 10 pm daily. 2 Seagate Boulevard • MM 99.6 Max Goldie GiGi Nemo Coconut Key Largo • 305-451-0307 8 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 9 Art Box Artist of the Month: Jason Barth JON & JOANNA DREAVER KEYS ADVENTURES The Art Box featured artist for the month for May is Jason Barth who was born WATERSPORTS on Plattsburg Air Force Base in 1968 but he moved to South Florida as a child and never ART CLASSES • ART SUPPLIES Waverunner Boat Paddleboards Guided left. "As long as I can remember I knew art was my passion and the path I wanted to RESTORATION • MATTING & FRAMING Rentals! Rentals! & Kayaks! Tours! take," says Jason. FRAMING SUPPLIES • CANVAS STRETCHING We Deliver! • Great Rates! • Large Ride Areas! Barth had his first paid commission when he designed the cover of Miami-What- Checkout our FEATURED ARTISTS HOURLY, DAILY OR WEEKLY! Where-When, a guide for visitors and tour- (Reservations suggested, but not required) ists. Next he provided the cover and over FULL ONLINE STORE: www.ArtBoxKeyLargo.com twenty-five illustrations for the Dade County Environmental Store by the Friends WITH KEY LARGO PACK & SHIP Let’s Get of the Everglades. At that time he was for- tunate to meet and talk with Marjory Stone- Trust a Professional! Wet!! man Douglas, who inspires and influences him and his art to this day. LOW COST PACKING MATERIALS/BOXES When Barth was 22 and had been working SHIPPING: FREIGHT & INTERNATIONAL a full time job he had a near-death event CRATING & SHRINK WRAPPING that forced him to quit work for almost a Two Key Largo Locations decade. It was then that he found his art to FAX • PRINT • SCANNING • LAMINATING be not only therapeutic but he also found it Plus! COLOR COPIES • DIGITAL ARCHIVING Gilberts Resort Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill gave him a purpose and goal. MM 108 MM 104 Jason began doing commissioned draw- 100650 Overseas Hwy 305-451-5461 904-235-9247 305-731-9472 ings, portraits and paintings, and discovered Key Largo 33037 [email protected] a true passion for murals and faux finishes, www.keysadventureswatersports.com trompe-l'oeil designs and murals. He says “My primary focus now is pouring my creative energy onto canvas with acrylics creating a wide variety of land and seascapes, botani- Sounds of the Keys cals and so much more. I also continue to welcome and enjoy working on custom murals, portraits and commissioned canvas pieces.” Stop by Island Decor in Tavernier where they proudly display his amazing paintings.

Online his work can be viewed at fineartamerica.com.

Shane Duncan Band, Felix the Catt & Baga Tricks Luke Sommer Glenn Mainstreet Band at Gilberts. a favorite at Gilberts. at The Big Chill, every third Band at Bayside Grille. Photo by Rob LeBrun. Saturday 7-11. Kick off your shoes and Photo by Susan Ptomey. dance in the sand!

Stephen is back at the Dalton Collins at Gilbert’s. Stone Mojo at Gilbert’s. Scott Youngberg and his wife Susie Mindful Mermaid Cafe, next perform the Government Chees to Publix. Try the new Reuben! song at the 21st Annual Bayjam. 10 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 11 Gilbert’s is Taste-Testing Women’s • Men’s • Plus Size Bartender of the Month: Phil Padrick - Gilbert's Resort “The Boobie” The Coconut Telegraph is the building, and rebuilt the Lindy Roth, representing the Breast CLOTHING proud to have Phil Padrick side bar where I usually Cancer Foundation, and Rob LeBrun Savvy Gilbert's General Manager are • Kid’s • Jewelry for Bartender of the Month. work. Have you seen the new taste-testing the soon-to be- • Swimwear • Gifts He comes highly recom- menu? They lowered the famous “Boobie” drink. mended and I personally prices and the food is amaz- CONCH ...and so much more!! have known him 5 years. I ing! Now we have these new Gilbert’s plans to donate a originally met him at the Boobie drinks and we donate portion of the sales from the Like us on Pilot House, where he was $1 per drink to the Breast new “Boobie” to the Breast New Arrivals Weekly Cancer Foundation. always as quick with a drink Cancer Foundation, to help Central Plaza 103200 Overseas Hwy. Suite 6 Key Largo, FL 33037 as he is with a smile. He is a find a cure for breast cancer, [email protected] 305-440-3714 savvyconch.com bartender that truly enjoys I love this place!" he gushes. his work and his customers. There are 16 different For the last year and a Boobie drinks. The Big 4-7 half Phil has been at Gilbert's Boobie, Perky Boobie, Stiff Best Happy Hour in the Keys! Daily Resort. General Manager Boobie Young Boobie, etc. Rob LeBrun says Phil is an I ordered the Grandma's Check out our "always" kind of guy. He is Boobie made with five dif- Local’s Loyalty Program: always on time, always pleas- ferent ingredients and a Get your ant, always available when healthy portion of Grand Pilot’s License they need him and always Mariner, absolutely titilating! today! does his share of the work Phil Padrick, happy to be behind the bar at Gilbert’s. There are many more May 10 or more. surprises at Gilbert's. Great But Phil wasn't always a in Orlando, worked in con- When I mentioned that food, great entertainment, bartender. Born and raised struction, as a cook and for a there were a lot of new grest drinks, and a lot of in Homestead, he graduated cleaning company before changes at Gilbert's, Phil was fun! Stop by and check it Bring the Family! Valencia Community College becoming a mixologist. ecstatic. "They just painted out, and tell Phil we sent you!

Food and Drink Specials The largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! ENJOY YOUR BOATING IN THE KEYS MORE THIS SEASON! Live Entertainment Keep your boat at our marina on our Dry Racks. with Derek Herring and 305-451-1133 No trailering, more time on the water. No hassles. Jimmy Ray 4pm-8pm 107900 Overseas Hwy SPECIAL PROMOTION. NO LONG TERM CONTRACT! www.gilbertsresort.com Our new dry rack system, for boats up to 25 ft., is installed and ready for your boat and boating season in our beautiful Florida Keys! Happy Hour 4pm-7pm to celebrate we are offering a fixed monthly rack rate of $250/mo. + ROCKIN’ WEEKENDS AT GILBERTS! tax. (No long term contract required.) Now Featurin - i Ma: Call for more details - Only 20 spaces remain available 305-747-4359. Treat Mom! BURGER NIGHT 13 Seagate Blvd., Key Largo, MM 99.6, 305-451-3142 TUESDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS Our famous 1/2 LB Burger www.pilothousemarina.com fb.com/pilothousekeylargo Saturday May 16, 7-11 PM CHAIN REACTION Sunday May 17, 1-6 PM Onl Amazing tribute band Mr. Nice Guy to $ .99* American Legion Post 333 - Key Largo Miami that sounds just like Journey! A Keys favorite 4 * With the purchase of a beverage

Burger King Traffic from 5-8pm Monday ru Friday: Light Support Join us! Walgreens Limited time only, while supplies last, not valid with other discounts. LUNCH SPECIAL U.S. 1 -ATLANTIC OVERSEAS HWY BL. our Veterans... CVS Burger and Fries $5 June 14th support Flashing Onl Flag Burning Yellow Saturday May 23, 7-11 PM Monday May 25, 1-6 PM Ribs & Beer your Post Light

MM 99.2 Bank Capital

Ceremony HOMESTEAD AV $ .99 DINNER SPECIALS $8 ICONIC WOMEN OF ROCK MEMORIAL DAY PARTY EAST DRIVE FRIDAYS IN MAY 9 The Post Tuesday - Stued Peppers Tribute to 70s & 80s female 5-9 PM American Fire power vocalists With The Regs needs your Wednesday - Smothered Pork Chops Station Legion Riders 1/2 rack of Baby Back Ribs, support! ursday - Spaghetti and Meatballs Canteen to Key Saturday May 30, 7-11 PM French Fries, Slaw and a West ★ Happy Hour 4-7pm daily Sunday Breakfast 8-11am $7 Bottomless coffee included ROGUE THEORY Bottled Beer of your choice SEAGATE BLVD Amazing rock band featuring an Limited time only, while supplies last, not valid with other discounts. OCEAN BAY DRIVE OCEAN BAY Pilot 2 Seagate Boulevard • MM 99.6 • Key Largo • 305-451-0307 House electric fiddle! Don't miss ! 12 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 13

“The Place where Nutritious Meets Delicious” Southern Fried THE MINDFUL MERMAID CAFE Tuesdays & Wednesdays NOW SERVING BREAKFAST at Ballyhoo’s AFTER 5 PM Come by Land or Sea • In the Garden Cove Marina Succulent, crispy deep-fried chicken Enjoy Casual Waterfront Dining at its Finest! OPEN MON-SAT, 9 to 5 • Open 7 Days • served piping hot with cool spicy Chicken Waterfront Dining • Indoors or Ourdoors FEATURING Champagne Sunday Brunch watermelon, and Honey-Tabasco FEATURING • Fresh, Local Seafood Breakfast Sandwiches sauce for dipping, plus your FRESH FLORIDA • Steaks & Ribs • Conch Chowder & Burritos choice of a side, LOBSTER & Key Lime Pie homemade Make Your Own Omelette breads, 305-453-3746 • buzzardsroostkeylargo.com butter MM 106.5 Oceanside Bacon - Sausage - Ham & jam. 21 Garden Cove Dr. • Key Largo Veggie Omelettes

FRESH FRUIT SMOOTHIES & JUICES 1/2 Chicken ORGANIC TEAS & COFFEES Dinner $18 SALADS ORGANIC GF & UEGAN All-You-Can Eat FRESH SOUPS EGG SALAD, MENU ITEMS SANDWICHES HUMMUS & We now have gluten-free Chicken & your choice KIDS MENU TABBOULEH bread & wraps! of unlimited side $22 RUNS THROUGH OCTOBER 15TH Call in your order! 305-451-2929 305.852.0822 • MM 97.8 in the Median MM 101.4 IN THE PUBLIX PLAZA BallyhoosRestaurant.com Menu & More: WWW.THEMINDFULMERMAID.COM

Come by Land or Sea • In the Garden Cove Marina Enjoy Casual Waterfront Dining at its Finest! Waterfront Dining • Indoors or Ourdoors • Open 7 Days • Champagne Sunday Brunch FEATURING • Fresh, Local Seafood FRESH FLORIDA • Steaks & Ribs • Conch Chowder LOBSTER & Key Lime Pie

305-453-3746 • buzzardsroostkeylargo.com MM 106.5 Oceanside 21 Garden Cove Dr. • Key Largo

BEST WINGS TUESDAY SPECIAL IN Every Tuesday 5pm to Close TOWN Enjoy an 8-to-9 oz. Ribeye Steak, 50% OFF Florida Lobster Tail All Liquor Drinks and Loaded Baked Potato Monday-Friday 4-6pm Beer & Wings Specials Daily for just $12.99

Join us for Superbowl! STONE CRABS 14 Draft Selections ARE HERE! & Import Bottled Beer Mile Marker 102.3 • Bayside • Key Largo • 305-451-4105 • www.D-Hooker.net 14 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 15 SHOT SKI AT SHARKEY’S Attention Dog/Cat Island Market Ribbon Cutting Owners: Everyone had fun on April 27 at Island Market‛s ribbon It's Bufo Toad cutting ceremony. Guests MM 101 Season Again enjoyed a wine and cheese Behind Dollar Tree party with “Pain Killers” made People who are new to by Sun 103 Radio, which was Florida do not know about the • Teak Furniture there for a remote broadcast. dangers of the Bufo Toad that attack in pets. Dogs weighing as People enjoyed checking out can kill your pet within minutes. much as 80 lbs have died after 50% off the unique vendors and their Giant toads - also called Cane biting a giant toad. The toads • New Retail Shops wares. There‛s the Amish Tom & Alice getting ready for the party. Toads or Marine Toads - range are attracted to lights, water Cheese store, outstanding teak in size from six to nine inches and food dishes left outside. • Bakery Stop B furniture and adirondack chairs The Market is located at and may weigh more than 2 Do not allow your animals in every color of the rainbow. MM 101 Bayside, behind the pounds. These toads are toxic outside off a leash, bring in • Amish Cheese  Solar panels, decór, jewelry and Dollar Store. Open on week- at almost every stage of their water and food dishes. The Weeken! so much more! ends, it‛s air conditioned! lives, as eggs, tadpoles and toads can secrete their poison • Tiki and Nautical items especially as adults. on the dish and the pet can be When threatened, adult poisoned without even coming in • Boutique toads secrete a white milky direct contact. substance from the large If your pet does come in Open Fri, Sat. and Sun. 9 to 5 • Air Conditioned parotid glands on the back of contact, wash out their mouth Vendors Wanted/Table Space $50/weekend their head. The secretion is a with a hose sideways, do not Call Alice 609-287-1767 potent bufotoxin, a skin irritant allow the water to go down to humans and highly toxic to their throat. You can also wipe dogs and cats. Similar to the their mouths with a wet wash THEY’RE DOIN’ IT RIGHT! heart stimulant digitalis, the cloth and rush them to the vet, Sun 103 Live Remote Ribbon Cutting ceremony with the Key Largo Chamber bufotoxin can induce a heart IMMEDIATELY. with “Pain Killers.” and others in the Upper Keys business community.

Kim Bankston Rest in Peace!

HOME OF THE ORIGINAL TUNA NACHOS So many good times, so much great music, Stop by the such a loss! Island Grill!

It’s a Keys tradition! Photo by Kimberly Ethridge.

Lunch & Dinner served daily at both locations. Breakfast served daily at the Bushwacker’s Islamorada location only. LAWN & LANDSCAPE MAINTENANCE Hire a LOCAL Check in at the Island Grill with EXPERIENCE Florida Keys Jewelry and say hello. and a GOOD REPUTATION Custom/CAD Jewelry • Watch Repair who does PROFESSIONAL WORK Jewelry Repair • Engagement Rings We look forward to seeing you! small, medium, or large and does it ON TIME at a FAIR RATE! 305-453-0177 • fl[email protected] $5. OFF Olive Oil or Balsamic exp. 5/31/2015 Trade Winds Shopping Center Key Largo to Lower Matecumbe Island Grill at Mandalay • MM 97.5 • Ocean View • Maintenance • Tree Work 101427 Overseas Highway NOW Key Largo, FL 33037 WITH TWO Island Grill at Snake Creek • MM 85.5 •Beach Setting Key Largo Islamorada • Installations • Hardscape 305-451-5586 LOCATIONS: 305 852-0595 305 664-8400 Hours: Mon-Thurs 10-4 • Friday 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 16 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 17 Did I Read That Right? —from Trader Dick Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill Man Kills Self Before War Dims Hope for Peace Kids Make Nutritious Snacks brings Shooting Wife and Daughter I can see where it might have that Do they taste like chicken? This one I caught in the Tribune the affect. other day and called the Editorial Local High School Dropouts Room and asked who wrote this. It If Strike Isn’t Settled Cut in Half took two or three readings before Quickly, It May Last Awhile Chainsaw Massacre all over again! tradition home, the editor realized that what he Ya think? every last Sunday was reading was impossible! They Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot put in a correction the next day. Cold Wave Linked to Low Doctors of the month. I just couldn’t help but send this Temperatures Boy, are they tall! along. Too funny. Who would have thought? And the winner is.... Something Went Wrong in London Couple Slain; Police Typhoon Rips Through Cem- Jet Crash, Expert Says FREE Suspect Homicide etery; Hundreds Dead Pool Admission for Locals Really? They may be on to something! with Monroe County ID. Police Begin Campaign to Run Red Tape Holds Up New Salvation Army Family Store Local Food & Drink Specials, Down Jaywalkers Bridges Now that’s taking things a bit far. MM 99 Bayside SHOP • DONATE You mean there’s something stron- Key Largo Local Discounts & of course, ger than duct tape? Panda Mating Fails; Live Local Music!! Veterinarian Takes Over Man Struck By Lightning: What a guy! Faces Battery Charge Featuring He probably IS the battery charge. Miners Refuse to Work Stereo Underground After Death New Study of Obesity Looks and DJ Joey Naples Good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so’s! for Larger Test Group Weren’t they fat enough? (No coolers or outside food Juvenile Court to Try or beverage permitted.) Shooting Defendant Astronaut Takes Blame for See if that works any better than a Gas in Spacecraft MM 104 Bayside • Key Largo • 305.453.9066 • www.jjsBigChill.com Visit the store, or call 305-872-5744 for prompt and courteous pickup fair trial. That’s what he gets for eating beans! Florida Keys Visitor Center has a The Mangrove Galley MEXICAN DRUMSTICKS A Message From New Boutique! Marinade: by Sandi Mieszczenski 4 pounds (or 14 chicken drumsticks) Wildlife Artist Sundresses $9 Capri Leggings $5 Sandi’s recipes are featured monthly in the Coconut Telegraph. ½ cup vegetable oil Dan Henderson For previous issues go to http://www.theconchtelegraph.com. 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar Bikinis $19.99 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice 1st Quality Tee Shirts $5.99 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes Men’s Board Shorts $9.99 2 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro (or 1 tablespoon dried) Sarongs $12 1 teaspoon cumin powder ...and much more! 1 seeded and chopped jalapeño pepper 3 large garlic cloves finely chopped Mix all ingredients together, place in a large plastic bag, and marinate overnight. Shake and toss every few hours.

Sauce: 1 16-ounce jar of prepared salsa 1 teaspoon cumin powder 1 teaspoon chili powder 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro (dried can be substituted) 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice 1 seeded & chopped jalapeno pepper (add another for more spice) 3 cloves of chopped garlic

Here it is May already, and our favorite month to eat Mexican Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Also get best prices for hotels and watersports. cuisine. I love to cook Mexican because there are so many Remove the drumsticks from the bag and discard the marinade. ways to mix and match flavors. This recipe is a nice twist to Right now save 60% on hotels throughout the Keys! Grill the drumsticks on both sides until brown and cooked in the Stop in today. the old standard barbequed chicken. Try it, you’ll enjoy it! middle. Baste the chicken with the sauce before removing from the grill. Serve with any additional sauce on the side. 106240 Overseas Hwy., Key Largo

18 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 19 FLAWLESS MALE LOGIC: Happiness: It’s Relative Woman: Do you drink beer? A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him Coco‘Nut’ Funnies Man: Yes. on a down slope. Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. A Man Called Brian Woman: How much do you pay per beer? One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and Man:$5.00 which includes a tip. end it all. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a A man walked out to the street Woman: How long have you been drinking? building to jump off. and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie Man: About 20 years, I suppose. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and Brian.” have 3 beers a day which puts your kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this spending each month at $450. In one man didn’t have any arms at all. Passenger: “Who?” year, it would be about $5400, cor- rect? He started thinking, “What am I doing up here feeling Cabbie: “Brian Sullivan. He’s a man Man: Correct. who did everything right all the sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things time. Like my coming along when with.” you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian every single time.” He thought, “There goes a man with no arms skipping Woman: If in one year you spend down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.” Passenger: “There are always a $5400, the past 20 years puts your few clouds over everybody.” spending at $108,000, correct? He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the Man: Correct. man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see Cabbie: “Not Brian Sullivan. He was Woman: If you didn’t drink so much him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and a terrific athlete. He could have beer, that money could have been put was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his won the Grand Slam at tennis. in a step-up interest savings account life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and and with compound interest for the guy could go on with no arms. danced like a Broadway star and past 20 years, and you could have you should have heard him play The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and bought a Ferrari! the piano. He was an amazing Man: Do you drink beer? kicking up his heels again. guy.” Woman:No. JOHN McKINNA is a local musician, a best-selling author, and a published, syndicated cartoonist. We feature his He asked the man, “Why are you so happy anyway?” Passenger: “Sounds like he was Thank you Thad Bowling! Man: Where’s your Ferrari? Thank you Trader Dick cartoons every month in the Coconut Telegraph! He said, “I’m NOT happy. My balls itch.” something really special.” Thank you Trader Dick Cabbie: “There’s more. He had LOCAL’S FAVORITE! Best-kept secret for 30 years! a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birth- IRS PROBLEMS? Keys Eating at Its Finest... Overlooking the Water FRIDAY FISH FRY day. He knew all about wine, Are you in trouble? which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix Leins • Levies • IRS letters • Non-filing ALL YOU CAN EAT anything. Not like me. I change a The $12.95 fuse and the whole street blacks We have solutions! out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do Hideout 5-9 PM • Bev. Incl. everything right.” Jerry Gaddis MBA ENROLLED AGENT / NTPI FELLOW Restaurant —Daily Specials— Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.” Breakfast Served ‘til 2PM Daily IN THE CEDAR TOWERS 305-451-0128 99353 OVERSEAS HWY, SUITE 214 Cabbie: “He always knew the TROPICAL TAX KEY LARGO, FLORIDA 33037 7 Days a Week - 6 AM to 2 PM & Friday Nights 5-9 PM quickest way to go in traffic and SOLUTIONS 305.451.4829 avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I CONSULTATION • PREPARATION • REPRESENTATION WWW.TROPICALTAX.COM MM 103.5 • Oceanside (Transylvania Ave. to the End) always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mis- take and he really knew how to Snooze button for cat owners. treat a woman and make her feel Monday night @ Snooks good. He would never answer her Wednesdays @ Gilberts back even if she was in the wrong; Meantime, at the Crib... and his clothing was always im- Fridays @ Gilberts buck-naked. Man, she is one fine The biker’s buddies are starting to maculate, shoes polished too. He Saturday night @ Snooks A drunken man walks into the looking woman!’ get really mad, but the biker still was the perfect man! He never Caribbean Club, sits down at the The biker looks at him and doesn’t says nothing. made a mistake. No one could with “That Band” bar and orders a drink. Looking say a word. His buddies are con- The drunk leans into his face and ever measure up to Brian Sullivan.” around, he sees three men sitting fused, because he is one bad biker says, ‘I’ll tell you something else, at a corner table. He gets up, stag- and would fight at the drop of a boy, your grandma liked it!’ Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?” gers to the table, leans over, looks hat. At this point the biker stands up, the biggest, meanest, biker in the The drunk leans on the table again takes the drunk by the shoulders face and says: and says, ‘I got it on with your looks him square in the eyes and Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met ‘I went by your grandma’s house grandma and she is good, the best says...‘Grandpa, go home!’ Brian. He died. I’m married to his 305-360-1127 today and I saw her in the hallway I ever had!’ widow.” bobbebrown.com Thank you Trader Dick Thank you Tony Zidar 20 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 21 IF YOU WANT RESULTS - - - CALL US - - - WE GET THE JOB DONE!!! Control The Wasmund Team Tropical Realty Of The Florida Keys, Inc. Letting the Curves Take You MM 103 bayside Tina’s Terrific! The answer to control is practicing surrender. BROKER/OWNER We’re a Mother-Daughter Team OWNER and we handle your real estate needs with integrity and professionalism. Let our 30+ which is the fact that much years of combined experience work for you! of the time we have no con- 522 Caribbean Drive • 305.453.1905 Specializing in trol over what happens. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Sometimes this awareness Jane: 305-451-2214 Wendy: 305-394-1376 Featuring Fresh Local Fish CRS, GRI, Short Sale Specialist GRI Color & comes only when we have a NOW IS A GOOD TIME GET STARTED... Highlights stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to Open Late! TO LIST YOUR HOME CALL US TODAY! and the Latest [email protected] www.thewasmundteam.com Trying to maintain control in be in control are revealed to Live Music Haircut Trends this life is a bit like trying to be unnecessary burdens. We Happy Hour Every Day B ON THE MAP Beautiful pendants made in Key Largo. maintain control on a roller can also cultivate this aware- ness in ourselves gently, by Craft Beer KEY LARGO CHOCOLATES Offering coaster. The ride has its own Sports Headquarters MM 101.5 • 305-453-6613 Cinderella logic and is going to go its simply making surrender a KEYS DIVER own way, regardless of how daily practice. At the end of Locals’ Favorite! On the Water MM 99.7 • 305-451-1177 Hair Extensions tightly you grip the bar. our meditation, we might A ON THE MAP C AND D ON THE MAP There is a thrill and a power bow, saying, “I surrender to Free Consulation in simply surrendering to the this life.” This simple mantra 24-HR. You Can Trust The Professionals at TOWING ride and fully feeling the ups can be repeated as necessary and downs of it, letting the throughout the day, when we curves take you rather than find ourselves metaphorically MV10170 fighting them. When you gripping the safety bar. Quality Service Since 1972 See Tina at Linda Lee’s Hairport fight the ride, resisting We can give in to our fear AMERICAN & FOREIGN CARS, TRUCKS what‛s happening at every S.U.V.s, VANS, TRAILERS & R.V.s B 103200 Overseas Hwy (Plaza 103, by Num Thai) turn, your whole being and anxiety, or we can sur- render to this great mystery • Certified Mechanics becomes tense and anxiety is E 451-3455 with courage. When we see • Exhaust Systems H your close companion. When MINOR people on a roller coaster, we • Brakes & C you go with the ride, accept- MAJOR see that there are those • Tune-Ups F TUESDAY SPECIAL ing what you cannot control, REPAIRS COCONUT freedom and joy will inevita- with their faces tight with • Tire Sales & Repairs D A Every Tuesday 5pm to Close TELEGRAPH bly arise. fear and then there are • Air Conditioning Enjoy an 8-to-9 oz. CLASSIFIEDS those that smile broadly, • Coolant & Transmission Flushes Ribeye Steak, As with so many seemingly with their hands in the air, • Regular & Synthetic Oil Changes Florida Lobster Tail BUYING BOOTH SPACE PERSONALS carried through the ride on a and Loaded Baked Potato simple things in life, it is not Send us your ad always easy to let go, even of wave of freedom and joy. for just $12.99 Buyers agent is Island Market has 305-451-3500 to go into the the things we know we can‛t This powerful image reminds buying old things. inside air-conditioned Classifieds. control. Most of us feel a us that often the only con- MM 101.5 • KEY LARGO table space available Old costume great discomfort with the trol we have is choosing how H ON THE MAP for $50 a weekend. HAPPY HOUR jewelry, furniture, MUSICIANS givens of this life, one of we are going to respond to the ride. n - Fri antiques and Call Alice WANTED Mo anything old 609-287-1767 m Amateur musicians wanted! Reprinted from DailyOM - Inspirational thoughts for a happy, 4-6 p of value. The Keys Community healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com Call now and leave CLUBS Concert Band begins rehearsals for its new 50% message ll Liquor Florida Keys Orchid, Fern season in the fall. If you A 305-304-2837 and Bromeliad Society want to participate, call 451-4530. KEY LARGO CHOCOLATES meets the 3rd Thurs. of LUNCH WE BUY COINS every month at Key Largo GUY'S TIRE SEE RVICE HHAANDMADMADEDE CHOCOLATES 11:30 AM - 4:00 PM No collection too large Library Community Room GET CLASSIFIED 7pm. Free/open to the Key LimeLime PiePie OnOn a StStiick Daily Lunch & Dinner Specials or too small. We pay $10 per col.inch per month! cash on the spot and public. 451-3000 (generous 1.88 column width) Ice Cream • FUDGE Bold Listing $12./inch per mo. Welcome Back we offer private KEY LIME PIES The Key Players, Inc. LOCALS consultation in our CLASSIFIEDS MUST BE & Ocean Reef Members Community Theater Group PAID IN ADVANCE FREE 1 location or yours. needs volunteers to work SAMPLES MM 100 /2 BAYSIDE Classified Display Space 10% OFF MEALS Call Bill at behind the scenes and available for logos and special COC TEL with this ad www.keylargochocolates.com • 305-453-6613 audition for roles! Go to: artwork. $15/inch. 305.942.0911. (305) 451-4105 www.thekeyplayers.org Drop off your ad and payment at Tires • Batteries • Wheels • New and Used Cars Key Largo Sea Glass Jewelry The UPS STORE www.D-Hooker.net Classified ads will not 101425 Overseas Highway, be accepted without Your Ad Here Local’s Discount 305-942-1429 now availab le in o ur Gift Shop MM 102.3 • Bayside, Key Largo Next to Publix at Tradewinds payment. OPEN 7 DAYS “We Support our Troops” MM 99.2 C ON THE MAP F ON THE MAP E ON THE MAP Send us your ad! Questions? Call 305•304•2837. 22 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015 May 2015 • The Coconut Telegraph • 23 Business in the Keys Conch Characters

Larry‛s Mobile RV Service Serving the Upper Keys LUNCH $1 Sushi all the time! 31 Years Experience • Licensed and Insured 11:30-3 (Mon.-Fri.) Special Dinner Menu starting at $6.99 (5-7:30pm) 630-460-7676 DINNER Larry Zinser 5-10 Lunch Specials from $5.95 [email protected] (Every Day) Private Room Available The Homestead Air Force Base’s Voted Best Asian Food handsomest guys... Will and Ken ... grab some 305-451-5955 15 years in a row. www.floridakeysrvservice.com [email protected] Like us on FACEBOOK R&R at the Key Largo American Legion. Girls night out for Jamie's birthday 103200 Overseas Hwy, Key Largo, MM 103 Bayside Paella... now at The Key Largo Conch House! at the Pilot House.

Structural/Civil • Structural Evaluations 10% Residential/Commercial Design WE CLOSE PERMITS UPS • DHL • USPS • FREIGHT OFF Notary, professional printing, fax, scan, Michael F. Padula P. E. office supplies, mailbox rentals, and more! Get the Pack and Ship guarantee with UPS retail rates. Seacoast Engineering & Design 31 Ocean Reef Dr. 305 Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305.509.7695 • fax 305.509.7635 (excludes stamps & metered mail) in the Plaza Bldg. 396-7444 [email protected] • Seacoast Engineering and Design on Facebook Easter Sunday Sunrise Service on Island Time Cruise. The Easter Bunny visited the Florida Keys Elks Lodge on Easter Sunday. Pictured with Mr. Bunny is Autumn and her parents, Advertise Here Jenny and Steven Barreto. $30 per month * Corpora on Set Up * Sales Tax * Sales Audits Heather Hulagu with some of (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) * Accounts Receivable * Accounts Payable * Payroll the items for sale at Savvy Conch. Sole Proprietors to Corpora ons, Big or Small A boutique for men, women, plus size Drop off check and biz card to Build your business - Balance your life! and kids...all items under $18. The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside Call to schedule a free coaching session. next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. Michele Beach 305-619-1354 TheGrowthCoach.com/mbeach The Beloved and Fearless High Commander of the MIlitary of the Conch Republic, Northernmost Territories (aka Robert Digiorgio) reads the Proclamation of Secession at one of the reenactments

"A legend in his own mind" Key Largo local "Skeeter" helps sing a country song at Gilbert’s Ladies Night. Photo by Ron LeBrun. Congratulation to Kelly Wilson, Rest in Peace, Amber and Cheyenne. They Deb Hawkins! recently adopted each other.

The Conch Republic COCONUT TELEGRAPH Independently Owned Local Newspaper Advertise Here Denise Malefyt $30 per month PUBLISHER (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) 305.304.2837 Snook’s Polynesian night. www.TheConchTelegraph.com Drop off check and biz card to Bartender Kim is in the middle of the fun [email protected] at Bayside Grille’s Sunset Celebration. 101425 Overseas Hwy., PMB #628 Key Largo, Florida Keys 33037 The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. Advertise Here $30 per month (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) Key Largo artist Dan Henderson displays one of his hand-painted Ladies' Night at Gilbert's on Tuesdays. Ladies Drop off check and biz card to guitars he plans to donate drink free wells, wine and draft beers 6-10pm. to some of the local bars for Cheryl Holt with some of her Entertainment by Key Largo local DJ The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside Bini and Teresa comparing notes traveling musicians who want to $9 sundresses at the Florida Keys "Reggae Ronnie," shown here hiding behind next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. at the Pilot House. play a song or two. Visitor Center’s new boutique. his equipment. Contributed photo. 24 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2015

The largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! 305-451-1133 107900 Overseas Hwy www.gilbertsresort.com Waterfront Tiki Bar, Restaurant, Motel & Marina Now Featurin LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - MAY 2015 BURGER NIGHT TUESDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS ROGUE THEORY Our famous 1/2 LB Burger 1-6 Onl $4.99* * With the purchase of a beverage Limited time only, while supplies last, not valid with other discounts. from 5-8pm Thursday is Ladies Night! LADIES DRINK FREE FROM 6-9 PM (WINE, DRAFT BEER, WELL DRINKS) Dance your booty off with DJ Ronnie 6-10 PM

Ribs & Beer Onl FRIDAYS IN MAY $ .99 5-9 PM 9 1/2 rack of Baby Back Ribs, Come out and see Rogue Theory on Saturday May 30th. They are amazing!! French Fries, Slaw and a Bottled Beer of your choice Limited time only, while supplies last, When’s the last time you saw someone rock out on an electric fiddle? not valid with other discounts.

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VISIT US IN OUR NEW OFFICE AT 102901 OVERSEAS HWY, MM 102.9 OCEANSIDE