what can I do? a few facts • The intent of emotional abuse is to destroy the victim’s self-respect and Know that abuse is not your fault. feeling of self-worth. No one deserves to be abused emotionally or in any other way. • Emotional abuse is often disguised as a way of “teaching you to be a better But I Find support by talking to others whom person.” you think will listen, understand, and sup- • Many experts believe that emotional haven’t port you. If it is safe to do so, talk to family, abuse may have longer-lasting effects friends, religious leaders, counselors, or than physical abuse. other members of your community. been hit... • Emotional abuse often leads to poor You can also contact your local Domestic health, especially sleep disturbances. Violence Program. They can offer help and • Emotional abuse affects children too. support. • Abusers may try to make excuses by saying, “I lost control,” but emotional abuse is really a way for them to gain control.
you are not alone There is help available for you or Local resources: someone you know who suffers in an emotionally abusive relationship. For more information, please contact the Virginia Family Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.838.8238 v/tty or one of the other resources listed on the back of this brochure.
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�������������������� ����������������������������������� [emotional abuse brochure] Emotional abuse is domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive how does emotional abuse why is this happening? behaviors used by one person intended to affect me? exert power and control over another. A person abuses in order to gain power and It happens in family or intimate Abusers will use many tactics to wear control. Stress does not cause the abuse. relationships, such as: you down. As a result, you may feel: Alcohol does not cause the abuse. • dating relationships • Fearful • significant others You do not cause the abuse. • Tired • married couples • You cannot change the abuser. • Distant from other people • parent(s) & child(ren) He/she must want to change. • Bad about yourself • caregiver relationships • Dependent • You might try to change your • Crazy actions to keep from being abused, • Loss of appetite but that may not always work. so...is domestic violence • Tense or anxious • You cannot always predict the just hitting? • Emotionally drained abuser’s behavior. • Physically drained • The abuse may only get worse • Alone with time. No. Emotional abuse is part of Some of the above symptoms can also domestic violence. affect you physically. It is important why am I confused? to be aware of physical symptoms and consider seeking help. You may be facing pressure from family, friends, or your culture to either stay with emotional abuse can include: an abusive partner or to leave. We know it can be a very difficult criticism . . . humiliation . . . threats . . . Someone who abuses you emo- decision to make, especially considering: name-calling . . . isolation . . . mind games tionally is trying to keep control . . . making you feel crazy . . .threatening over you. They are trying to • conflict with religious beliefs; to “out” you . . . cutting off family, friends, keep you from having power or • financial difficulties; and community . . . controlling the money control in your own life. • concern for children or pets; . . . holding you hostage . . . calling you a Once an emotional abuser can • difficulties due to disabilites you “sell out”. . . using your disability against may have, particularly if your care- no longer maintain control with you. . . brainwashing . . . using your taker is abusing you; words, it is a possibility that children against you. . . making you feel person will escalate to using • isolation and feeling like you have ashamed. . . the silent treatment . . . nowhere to go. physical abuse to keep power threatening to harm your pet(s) . . . over you. You know what’s best for you and your family. Whatever decision you make is okay.