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The Intuition of Haruhi Suzumiya Nagaru Tanigawa

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The Intuition of Haruhi Suzumiya Nagaru Tanigawa Copyright The Intuition of Haruhi Suzumiya Nagaru Tanigawa Translation by Andrew Cunningham Cover art by Noizi Ito This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. Suzumiya Haruhi no Chokkan ©Nagaru Tanigawa, Noizi Ito 2020 First published in Japan in 2020 by KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo. English translation rights arranged with KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo through TUTTLE-MORI AGENCY, INC., Tokyo. English translation © 2020 by Yen Press, LLC Yen Press, LLC supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact the publisher. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights. Yen On 150 West 30th Street, 19th Floor New York, NY 10001 Visit us at yenpress.com facebook.com/yenpress twitter.com/yenpress yenpress.tumblr.com instagram.com/yenpress First Yen On Edition: November 2020 Yen On is an imprint of Yen Press, LLC. The Yen On name and logo are trademarks of Yen Press, LLC. The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher. ISBN: 978-1-9753-2254-0 (ebook) E3-20201119-JV-NF-ORI CONTENTS Cover Insert Title Page Copyright Random Numbers Seven Wonders Overtime Tsuruya’s Challenge Afterword A Final Note Yen Newsletter First released in Japan in 2003, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya quickly established itself as a publishing phenomenon, drawing much of its inspiration from Japanese pop culture and Japanese comics in particular. With this foundation, the original publication of each book in the Haruhi series included several black-and-white spot illustrations as well as a color insert—all of which are faithfully reproduced here to preserve the authenticity of the first-ever English edition. RANDOM NUMBERS “Seven hundred seventy-five thousand two hundred forty-nine.” With a puff of white breath, those words flitted past my ear but were soon swept up in the freezing wind, vanishing into the upper atmosphere. The weather was so clear and bright, it almost hurt to look at the brilliant blue sky, but cold was still cold. It had only been three days since the start of the year, and there was still quite some time before the northern hemisphere would begin doing warm-up exercises to prepare for spring. I walked on in silence for a bit, but I could tell my strolling partner was waiting for my reaction, so I mustered my scant reserves of courtesy and said, “What are you counting, Koizumi? How much mochi you’ve eaten thus far in life?” “Hardly,” the self-professed esper boy said, a touch of self- deprecation in his smile. “There’s no real meaning to that number. It simply popped into my mind as I arrived—or perhaps I just remembered it. A random string of numbers of no significance to you, humanity at large, or indeed anyone besides myself.” But the fact that those whispered numbers reached my ears completely invalidated this “talking to myself” argument. Monologues meant to be overhead were like junk mail blown in on the wind— whoever wound up with them would generally be annoyed. “I beg your pardon.” If that’s how you really feel, then spare me the apologies and just answer the question. What the hell’s seven hundred seventy- whatever? Even what happened last August never reached such insanely high numbers. “If I said it was the total sum of cash gifts I received from relatives over the holidays, how would you respond?” Is that even a question? I’d just turn you into the SOS Brigade’s walking wallet. And part of that responsibility would include always arriving after me whenever we meet up. “That would be difficult. I don’t mind treating everyone, but arriving later than you is nigh impossible.” How so? Even I’m capable of planning things well enough to arrive ten seconds before you if we’ve made arrangements in advance. Koizumi shrugged. He was wearing a bulky jacket and didn’t look cold at all. “I have tried to arrive last any number of times, deliberately lingering behind. But each and every time, you arrived after me without fail. No matter how many adjustments I made. I find it hard to believe this is a coincidence. I have to assume this is one of Suzumiya’s unconscious desires.” “What a specific and obnoxious desire to unconsciously have.” Now I was the one breathing out clouds of white. “Anyway, given what day it is, you’d better stuff somewhere around the average café tab into that offering box. You know, buy yourself some peace of mind.” I looked ahead at a sturdy stone torii gate, and the larger red- painted gate that yawned open in the frigid air beyond. January 3, just past noon, in front of the local shrine. Haruhi had announced the plans for today during our winter retreat, and this was the result—not some cryptic manifestation of her unconscious thoughts but a clear, deliberate decision. We were doing our New Year’s shrine visit together. By we, of course, I mean the five members of the SOS Brigade and not a bleak two-guy party with just Koizumi and me. Yet at the same time, we were both a bit reluctant to stand too close to the three girls in our party, which left us trailing a few steps behind. It was at this point that the one responsible for all this spun around and proclaimed, “We’ll start with this shrine! We’ve gotta hit up every shrine and temple in town, so let’s kick it into high gear and go!” I’m fairly certain my body doesn’t have a gearbox or a clutch. Maybe she had both, like in her stomach somewhere? If anything, she probably has a turbocharger. “We couldn’t make it on New Year’s Day, so I’m sure the resident god here has been breathlessly awaiting our arrival. We’ve gotta pray hard to make up for the delay!” Haruhi was decked out in the kind of fancy kimono you saw on the very top row of a Hinamatsuri display. She was flanked by Nagato and Asahina, each clad in equally elegant fashion. She thrust a finger toward the heavens and said, “Set plans for the year within three days of New Year’s!” conveniently riffing off an old proverb. “We’ve gotta make all our wishes today!” she added, almost certainly jinxing us. Her beaming smile gave off so much heat, she seemed like the physical embodiment of a warm anticyclone. When I came strolling up to our usual station meeting spot, everyone else was already there, waiting. This happened every time. I would always be the last one to show up, even when I purposefully came before our agreed-upon meeting time. This normally prompted a strange sense of guilt that tormented me—but not today. Koizumi wasn’t a major concern, but for once, I was legitimately relieved to have arrived after the brigade’s female trio. Haruhi, Nagato, and Asahina had assembled at the Tsuruya manor before coming here, so we’d decided to meet up later to account for that. Haruhi had arranged the schedule the previous day, and Tsuruya had backed her play. Naturally, no consideration was spared for the needs or convenience of any other parties involved. Still, I surprisingly had no objections. Why had the three girls taken a detour to Tsuruya’s? See for yourself. “Well? Aren’t these outfits fabulous?” Haruhi said, puffing up her chest with entirely unnecessary levels of arrogance, beaming with a smile even brighter than the colors of her garb. “Yuki and Mikuru, too!” She grabbed their shoulders, pulling the two reticent girls closer. For once, Haruhi wasn’t exaggerating. Fabulous was absolutely the right word. They were nailing that classical Japanese vibe so well that it would’ve been an understatement to say they were drawing the eyes of everyone around us. It was like the three stars in Orion’s belt glittering in the winter sky. Asahina in particular wore hers so well that she looked like the cover model of a pamphlet produced by a kimono company trying to court rich clients with the tagline A must for your lovely daughter’s graduation ceremony. Totally a case of a top-notch outfit being elevated by the person wearing it. And she was neither demanding as much attention as Haruhi, nor stifling it the way Nagato was—she struck that sublime balance on the scales of beauty that marked her as truly a goddess among men. You can always count on Asahina to deliver. I’m not sure exactly what that might be in this situation, but deliver she did. “You all look splendid.” Like me, Koizumi was wearing his usual clothes. He offered up this verbal applause and then glanced my way. There was a trace of a smile on his lips that could only be described as reproachful, but Haruhi failed to notice. It was a bit disconcerting that I seemed to be the only one able to discern the subtleties of Koizumi’s expressions.
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