fEC-ers'Invade byiggy Gomez insane "PEC-ers" have invaded Lincoln
'their first mixer Friday night, the new Popular Enter- Committee presented their version of the greatest 5 m earth. IhTc cast included about five-hundred not so sober Hallo nartiers dressed for the occasion, an off-targe! but ^[''received 'hit' by Pie Man, Fordham's masked pastry U -iper the popular rock group Midnight Trix, and over ')'"! hundred and fifty gallons of Heinekin and Budweiser iJorouyhly drained by midnight. And (or some strange reason the r-ordnam University Mirchiny Band, instruments in full dress regalia, stormed through the packed crowd in an astounding scene compara l,|tJ only to a Monty Python's Flying Circus event. The head"PEC-er", Jimmy Matkovich, says that beneath all the "utter insanity" lay a skillfully planned, well en- a'neered and executed plot to organize the "greatest college mixer in history." The marching band, who contributed substantially to the swift flow of beer consumption, roared through the Plaza level entrance of the cafeteria while the regular band was in V middle of a blaring rock number. Midnight Trix stopped, continued on page 3 "t
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1978 , US Postage VOLUME 60, PAID NUMBER 24 Bronx, h Y Permit No 7608 FORDHAM UNIVERSITY, NEW YORK Non-Profit Org
Rabin Boost To Fordham Plaza GSA To Construct Stresses Office Building by Thorn Duffy tion. The announcement was made at a Negotiation The General Services Administration of press conference last month at the Bronx by Brian Naney the federal government has recently made a Borough President's office by Jack Watson, Former Prime Minister of Israel Yitzhak committment to- constructing a major office the special assistant to President Carter and Rabin, speaking to the Campus Center ball- building on a Fordham Road site opposite coordinator of the federal efforts in the room on Tuesday, October 31, stressed the the Third Avenue entrance to the Univer- South Bronx. importance of peaceful negotiations and re- sity's Bronx campus. When it was originally conceived almost conciliation in resolving the Arab-Israeli The committment is seen as an important ten years ago, Fordham Plaza was seen as conflict. boost to the long delayed Fordham Plaza crucial to holding back the deterioration "The first essence of peace is reconcilia- project, an office and retail complex which which had beset areas in the southern part of tion, not recognition. To recognize the state has been on the drawing boards for that site the Bronx from moving northward. It would of Israel is not enough to ensure peace. This for nearly a decade. do this by bringing in new businesses and reconciliation must be done in a very clear The.GSA's plans include its own offices encouraging the economic stability of the area. way, such as the way Mr. Sadat spoke to the Rabin: Former Israeli Prime Minister and motor pool, an IRS tax center, as well as Just one indication of the effect of the Knesset: We accept you as an independent spoke for American Age offices for the Social Security Administra- state,'" said Rabin. delay in building the Plaza might be this geo- For Israel the meaning of peace must con- New BA. Proqram Unveiled graphically intriguing fact. Since that deteri- tain the end of the state of war. "Israel is still oration has spread so steadily, the Fordham in a legal state of war. Under international area—in the northern half of the Bronx—is law we are still subject to embargoes by now officially designated as part of the belligerent nations as well as attack," Rabin Curriculum Report "South Bronx Redevelopment Plan" out- continued. "Both sides must agree to carry lined for the most needy parts of the out a commitment to peace. I am sure that by Carol Coyne tions necessary to make the program work. borough. once a lasting peace is affected a change in Kurtz stated the committee drafted the By announcing the federal plans through the daily life of Egyptians and Israelis will The curriculum committee unveiled the new proposal "guided by a working state- his special assistant, the President is, in new curriculum proposal for Fordham Col- ment of their goals." The goals of the com- effect, making the construction of the Ford- occur." lege at the general faculty meeting Tuesday. mittee stress the necessity of providing each "1 am glad to say that Mr. Sadat respond- ham office another part of his personal com- The committee presented a three page student with a broad background in the lib- mittment to the Bronx which he first voiced ed to and accepted this interpretation of explanation of the proposed curriculum and eral arts and sciences. Peace," said Rabin. "Egypt and Israel have in a visit here in October of 1977. a sample program (or a Bachelor of Arts de- Kurtz delved into the mechanics of the passed the point of no return in the peace The significance of this is that, unlike gree to all faculty members. A sample Bach- proposed curriculum, which he desribed as initiative. This is the threshold of a new era, Fordham Plaza's prospective commercial elor of Science program will be distributed divided into three tiers. On the first tier, the the era of peace." tenants who have delayed the project by before the end of the week. student takes seven core courses, courses making initial committments and then back- Rabin stressed that smaller countries must Chairman of the Curriculum Committee with a common content which all students ing out, there will be both political as well as not drag larger powers into conflict. "We are Dr. James Kurtz stressed the program is still will be required to take. The proposed core economic incentives for the completion of proud that we can defend ourselves once we tentative and that the committee welcomes courses are Philosophy 1 and 2, History 1 the federal offices. have the means to do it," he said. "We have suggestions and criticisms. According to and 2, English 1 and 2, and Theology 1. "ever asked another power to shed one One such commercial developer who Kurtz, the committee will hold several open On the second tier, the student takes six "fop of blood for our security." reneged on their initial committment to meetings on the curriculum. The committee core-area courses. The student chooses one Fordham Plaza was the Arlen Realty Corp., Israel must have secure and defendable hopes to have the final proposal ready for course from the following: Natural sciences, which owns and operates E. J. Korvettes and borders. This is recognized in UN Resolution the faculty to vote on by Spring 1979, so the Life Sciences, Mathematics, Social Sciences was expected to supply the major commer- ^2. I remember when I was Chief of Staff new program could be implemented for the and Theology. Also on the second tier the cial tenant for the complex. ''"ring the Six Day War, the Arab forces class of 1984. student takes a foreign language. After sending a letter of intent of their in- ww grouped and waiting to attack 1200 Kurtz said the committee has been formu- On the third tier, the student chooses one volvement in the project and negotiating Vflrds from the Knesset. I will do my utmost lating a proposal for the last three years. He course in each of four areas: Philosphy, with the city for over four years, "Arlen did 10 'nsure that no future Chief of Staff will be referred to a report that a sub-committee, Theology, Literature [From English, Modern an about-face," according to one source 111 'he situation that I was in before and the Task Force on College Life, made to the Languages, and Classics Depts.) and Social involved in the negotiations. Financial dif- (luri»g the Six Day War," Rabin continued. committee last April. The report showed that Sciences. ficulties faced by the company were ap- ™bin traced the origin of the Palestinian students and faculty felt a "dissatisfaction" The major difference between the pro- parently the reason for its backing out. I'roblem to 1947, when Palestine was with Fordham College. The members of the posed curriculum and the present one is that That left the Plaza complex without either 'jranted its independence and divided Into lL committee decided unanimously that a "new the proposed curriculum will integrate a major developer or tenant until the GSA ' 'wish and Arab countries. The Jews ac- coherent curriculum...which is more struc- courses both vertically and horizontally. Ver- made its move. ^'ld this arrangement, according to tured, unified and coordinated" is needed. tical integration employs the idea that one It is unclear at this point, however, how n, while the Arabs rejected it and went Kurtz explained the philosophy behind course builds upon another, as French 2 continued on page 3 continued on page 3 the proposed program, and the implementa,- l continued on page 7 Thursday. November 2, 1978 Page 2 The Ram CAB CALENDAR Jewish Student Union Karate exhibition Friday November 3,1978 On Campus: and demonstration. Learn how to defend Maroon Key Society presents its "Hallo- yourself! CC Ballroom 12:30 P.M. On Campus: ween Party" tonight in the Music Room of Crew Team meeting on Tuesday at which the Campus Center at 8:30 P.M. Refresh- all members must attend. Keating 104 12:30 Undergraduate History Assoc. and Phi Fordham College Class of 1981 pre- ments will be served and it is open to club P.M. Alpha Theta "The Rise and Decline of thy sents "The Disco Semi Normal". At this members and pledges. Bronx" a presentation with slides on the mixer, join the fun and help put "Disco" in Alpha Mu Gamma there will be a manda- Bronx since 1900 given by Ray Crapo its place! Don disco duds. Plenty of music Sunday November 5,1978 tory meeting for full and probationary mem- President of the Bronx County Historical and beer. Admission: $1.00 Ramskellar bers to discuss preparations for the up- Society. He will present a number of theo 8:30 P.M. Off Campus: coming Thanksgiving Dinner sponsored by ries as to why the Bronx grew and deterio Alpha Mu Gamma. Keating 208 12:30 P.M. rated so quickly. Keating 214 12:30 P.M. Medieval Club New! The Medieval Club! Fordham University Hockey Team will First Meeting. Come with ideas and sugges- play its first game of the season tonight American Age (CAB) meeting. All mem- Visiting STudent Programs Associate tions. ADM 221 12:30 P.M. against Columbia University. On Wed. Nov. bers must attend in CAB office opposite Dean Jean M. Murphy will speak on Visiting 8, they will compete against Manhattan Col- Student Programs for Fordham College Mimes and Mummers Open auditions for Asst. Dean of Students office in Campus lege. Both games will be played at Riverdale upper classmen. The program allows a William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Center. CAB Office l:30P:"M. Rink. November 5 at 6:30 P.M. and Fordham College student to spend a semes Nothing on Thursday, Nov. 2 and tonight. November 8 at 8:45 P.M. The Society of Afro-American Leader- ter or a year at the University of San Fran Collins Theater 7:30 P.M. ship presents Donald Gibbs, Director of the Cisco, or in one of the colleges in the New York State Visiting Student Program: Keat Themis Pre-Law Society "Alternatives to Monday November 6, 1978 Bronx Urban League, speaking on com- Law School" Fordham's Placement Office munity service organizations. Refreshments. ing 319 12:00 will help you decide what career you really On Campus: CC Room 234 12:30 P.M. want to pursue when they present ways of Wednesday November 8,1978 evaluating your own interests. Keating 3rd The Society of Afro-American Leader- The Fine Arts Club Musicians (rock and On Campus: 1:00 P.M. ship presents a Wine & Cheese Poetry classical) Wanted! Artists & lovers of art Forum. All welcome! Open poetry reading. wanted! Join the Fine Arts Club. Field trips, Undergraduate Anthropology Club An- Campus Center Room 234 2:30 P.M. concerts, performances, guest lecturesj etc. Ramskellar (CAB) Wine & Cheese Night. nouncel that the field trip to the American Hughes 308 Tuesdays: 12:30-2:00 Thurs- Happy Hour 8:30-9:30 half-price draft beer. Museum of Natural History originally sche- Fordham Marketing Society Interview Admission: 5(¥ Ramskellar 8:30-12:30 days: 7:00-9:00 P.M. N • duled for today has been rescheduled to program and audience session for American P.M. Firday November 17 at 2:00 P.M. This trip Hospital Supply Corp. CC Faculty Lounge Academia Hispana Meeting to discuss will include a guided tour of the exhibit "Ice 7:00P.M. play which was seen by club two weeks ago, Thursday November 9,1978 Age Art". This activity is open to all interest- and to discuss the Cervantes Conference. ed students, please sign up on the sheet out- Ramskellar (CAB) Pub Nights this week: Also, planning future trips that deal with On Campus: side of Dealy 401. today, Tuesday, and Thursday. Bottled beer Spanish culture. New members are cordially and T.V. Happy Hour: 7-8:30, half-price invited. The Upper Room 12:30 P.M. Cinevents (CAB) presents a W.C. Fields draft beer. Ramskellar 7:00-1:00 P.M.-A.M. Film Festival this week. Screenings tonight at Fordham Marketing Society General 8:00 P.M. and tomorrow at 12:30 P.M. in Tuesdasday INovember 7,1978 Meeting FMH 216 12:30 P.M. Keating 1st. ELECTION DAY ' HINMIMNMBaHiaiM M »•••••••••••• •• •••••••IWMMaBiMMMmBWMBMMMiaNtoN I— Fill Out The Form Below Completely To list Activities In The CAB Calendar NOVEMBER 7 Name Of Sponsoring Group. Address '. Description Of Event (Ptease include as much specific information as possible.) Cinevents (CAB) presents African Queen plus a short in Keating 1st at 8:00 Poosball Tournament has been moved to the Ramskellar 11:30-4:30 and 7:00- . Refreshments:_ Yes No 1:00 weekly. See Ramskellar tournament Day. .Date. .Place. .Time. bulletin board for tourney schedules. Regis- Admission Charge (If any) $ ter now for the 2nd Annual Tournament. Of Interest To: Upon completion of this form please return to: , November-December. D Majors Only Calendar Committee • Open To General Public Office of Assistant Dean of Students Saturday November 4,1978 • Members Of Fordham University Only Campus Center Room 213 G Other On Campus:
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, r to destroy the state of Israel. This par- 10 * 0{ Palestine created "hatred, ani- Claims Responsibility llosity bloodshed and destruction." by William Wesley Bole •For the nineteen years that the Gaza strip at 2:30 pm, peak time in the second floor An underground organization at Lincoln lounge. According to Karen Hepburn, d (fte West Bank were in Arab hands there Zs no attempt or demand to create a Pales- Center called "the froggies" has claimed res- CLC'79, the entire area holding about fifty tinian state. The Palestine Liberation Organ- ponsibility for an extraordinary odor which students just emptied out, with the exception ization wants not just a Palestinian state, but "stunk the living hell out of" the Leon Low- of a few brave souls who chose to remain. "It ,he dismantling and annihilation of the enstein Center Tuesday. was so weird," Hepburn said, "this is the first Jewish state," said Rabin. "We have never The unknown noisome agent was ap- time I was ever chased out of someplace so acceplefi suicide as our international obliga- parently discharged three separate times in quickly without knowing why." The L.C. five different areas of the "big waffle." In all Bursar's office, right by the lounge, closed its instances students and faculty reportedly windows for a few moments to avoid the To self determination by the Palestinians grabbed hold of their posessions and swiftly odor. bin would say yes. "We are ready to Ra proceeded to the nearest exit while holding And meanwhile in the library, students pt what he tYassir Arafat, leader of the acce their noses and mouths tightly. had to bury their faces in their books--for pi 0) demands. Arafat adds to this that all At 11:30 am the cafeteria and game non-academic reasons. Jews who have come to Palestine must be rooms became the first targets. "I really can't Shortly afterwards, The Ram received a expelled. This is not a solution that any conceive of anything else in the universe that letter proclaiming "We are the "Froggies. serious person can accept. The radical Arab bad-smelling," said George Cannon, And we claim responsibility for the incredible nations, backed by the Soviet Union, sup- CLC'79 as he stood waiting "and shoving" odor that stunk the living hell out of the cafe- port this view though." on an Automatique line with an opened teria, the game room, second floor lounge, Rabin believes that pressures from within "Froggies" Attack package of pretzels "covering my nose." library, and elevator banks." Eqypt have made their imprint on the Cannon compared the scent to a "167 It continued: "But what really stinks Egyptian leadership. "The Egyptians have of the transition period. year-old, raw egg." He aiso mentioned "a around here is the apathy. This harmless, n,iid (he heaviest price of the war. Quadaffi As to future Jewish settlements, the posi- lot of people thought Automatique was just little stunt is only a minor sampling of what [Libyan president] wants to see the war go tion of East Jerusalem and Israeli military whipping up another one of their specials." we have in store for the Lincoln Center until the last Egyptian soldier drops." presence in the post-transition phase. Rabin At 1:00 prn the elevators got the busi- community." The message finished by The major problem of the Camp David said, "We agreed to disagree, to solve these ness. According to Liza OHanlon, saying: "We just want to liven things up talks is that Sadat cannot bargain for the issues after the transition period." He did not CLC'81, who was standing in the plaza through some wholesome, sophomoric wit. other Arab leaders, according to Rabin. The say, however, that "Jerusalem must remain waiting for an elevator. "I was able to hear And rest assured, our dear constituents, we principle behind the talks is to make peace united." people yelling" as the elevator neared the shall strike again. Soon." The letter was now with Egypt, but to agree to a transition "Egypt and Israel are determined to pur- plaza level, and when the doors began to signed "Gribbit" with a frog drawing. period of five years on the Gaza Strip and sue the cause of peace regardless of the pos- open, "some leaped out and towards the Walter Egbert of Physical Plant observed the West Bank. A permanent settlement to sible terrorist activities of the radical Arab water fountain." "everyone was upset about it, but it was these problems will be negotiated at the end countries." Perhaps the most devastating whiff came nothing dangerous. Nothing serious." Fordham Plaza continued from page 1 The entire area designated for develop- This land is presently owned by the United next year" according to Viola, and the GSA the federal department's plans will be com- ment as Fordham Plaza is a plot shaped like States Postal Service which had been nego- could then take bids for the federally funded bined with the long standing city plans for an inverted triangle bordered by Fordham tiating to sell the land to the city which would construction of the office building. the site. Although the office was announced Road on the north and Washington and have then leased it to a developer. The city, for the planned Plaza location, Fordham Third Avenues on the east and west until however, must no*.' find a developer to The key question at this point is whether Plaza itself was never mentioned by name they cross each other three blocks south at replace Arlen Realty before this deal can go GSA will be willing to integrate its office during Watson's presentation. Nor had GSA 187th Street. through proposal with the city's hope for retail gotten in touch with the Department of City The city's plans call for a combination of development. Viola concedes that the office Planning before making the announcement. stores and office space as well as a parking "We want to get rid of the land," said space alone "won't help as much." According to Jalal Green, liaison between garage covering this entire plot. Bronx Postmaster Frank Viola, expressing City Planning and Community Board 6 his concern that the site be developed for the "For the optimum benefit for the Bronx which includes the sites, as Watson an- The GSA is seeking oniy an office building betterment of the surrounding area. community," said Viola, the area would nounced the proposed building to city of- on the northernmost square block of the site "have to have a shopping mall. We need a ficials, "we looked at each other and said 'is bordered by the above avenues and 189th The title to the land could be transferred to retail developer with enough faith in the he talking about Fordham Plaza or what?'" Street. the Genera! Services Administration "early Bronx to get involved," he added. "PEC-ers" continued from page 1 "Some people from PEC approached us with the idea and like a ghost." She said he escaped out the door, leaping put down their instruments. The marching band then parad- we thought it would be pretty mad." said Drum Section through the air while clicking his heels. ed all over the cafeteria and on through the entrance leading leader Steve Sinacore. "Everyone there was in total shock Leal. Pie Man's second victim, said "he tapped me on the outside on the Plaza, and repeated the circle three times. followed by laughter," Sinacore said, "something like Monty shoulder. I turned around, and the next thing I knew I had a About two-hundred faithful partiers followed the band out Python." pie in my face." onto the plaza chanting to the tunes of Fordham fight songs. In regard to the band's impressive rate of beer consump- Ginger Chupa, new Director of Student Activities at Lin- tion, Sinacore observed "we were ail blind drunk. The contest for best costume was judged by a PEC-er coln Center, observed that no pictures were taken of the meter, which registered degrees of applause for each of the incredible incident because the "photographer was dumb- Pieman apparently got his signals crossed. The student three Halloweeners nominated. The juice in the long, founded. He was so astourided that he couldn't get it to- who contracted the hit said "he got the wrong one." Sue nanow PEC-er meter reached its climax in response to the gether to take a picture." Leal, a member of the marching band, was accidentally applause for the Dallas Cowgirls, who won first prize. What was the band doing downtown in the first place? belted by Fordham's masked marvel, who was "dressed up
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• <\-v • .•*•••• • •• .••••• •./..',I'/.''_•','...V Page 4 The Ram Thursday, November 2, 1978 Fordham Profile: They Only Come Out In The Bronx and other prattel, using quick homemade, qosh-everybody- by Pat Borzi else - has - a - costume - I'd - better - find - one - quick technique. A man and a woman shivered in the cold near their car in Others went to great expense, renting costumes irom places front of A-House early Saturday morning. Both were mildly which specialize in such things. buzzed after enjoying themselves at a dormitory party. So At a Lincoln Center Halloween party Friday, among those far, it had been a pleasant evening. noticed were Darth Vader, a hairy gorilla, several priests and Not any more. Their bodies shook in the frigid, howling a couple of Playboy bunnies. Police sources say Vader's wind as they huddled near the car. Earlier in the evening space ship was given a ticket for parking on top of a double- they left the car hastily in order to reach the party. Perhaps parked car, a violation of an obscure city parking ordinance too hastily. Now, their teeth chattered as they pressed their that prohibits such behavior. An observer slyly commented noses to the window glass and stared at the car keys, that there is no appreciable difference in appearance be- hanging listlessly from the ignition. tween one student's gorilla mask and the face of the person it appeared at first that no one was in sight, that no one beneath it. The gorilla could not be reached for comment. would help them, and that they might have to spend the rest The priests and the bunnies were seen leaving together in a of the night huddled around the car. The woman wept in the flaming pink El Dorado for points west. cold. A depressing prospect indeed. At Rose Hill, the most adventuresome attempt was a four- But wait. Coming out of a nearby house were two men in person effort forming a caterpillar. However, during an dark clothes. The taller one wore a grotesque mask and a interview, the millipede camivorously ingested a reporter's long, flowing black cape. The smaller one could have been a notepad. teenager. No, it couldn't be .... v Saturday night, at the College of Business Administration "Can we be of assistance, citizen?" said the tall one as he --sponsored party in the Campus Center, were perhaps the and his companion approached the car. The woman, at first best collection of characters. Besides the Caped Crusaders, startled by the sight of the tall, batlike figure, sniffed and Julius Caesar modeled the latest French fashion—white, explained their plight in a hurried, broken voice. floor-length toga with the chic stamp, "Fordham University The tall, dark man whispered something to his shorter Residence Hall," on the right side. Wonder Woman sported companion, who nodded and darted into one of the houses. so much cleavage that one startled partier stopped to ask In a flash he returned, bringing a simple metal clothes hanger how much of it was real. That amused a huge lion to no end. with him. Quickly and effortlessly the tall man, in an incredi- The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders were miffed over Wonder ble feat of strength, twisted the hanger into a hook-like Woman's corralling of the male attention. People in painted device which he slipped through the upper door frame and faces, mimicking the makeup of the rock group Kiss, down to the depressed front lock. With a flick of a wrist the amused themselves by watching transvestite Frank N. Furtur hanger grabbed and lifted the lock, opening the door. sashay through the crowd. The man and woman tried to thank the pair, but they Finally, on Halloween night itself, two massive on-campus would hear nothing of it. "Just doing our jobs, fellow citi- parties broke up early, patrons perhaps weary of wearing zens," the tall man said. Then, quickly, they pivoted about unusual clothes for five days. The Dynamic Duo were there, and disappeared into the night, perhaps in the direction of along with a bearded Arab king in dark glasses, a luscious the Lantern. Playboy bunny, several gypsies, a microscope slide, Sher- The man and the woman got into the car and drove off, lock Holmes, a hurting cowboy with an arrow through his perhaps wondering if anyone would believe that they were head, television's Uncle Fester, and a couple of midget saved from a night in the cold by Batman and Robin. ghosts in loud ties who shot people with water pistols. • • • Why do people do this? "Because it's Halloween," said Halloween does strange things to norrpally sane people, one character in a grotesque rubber mask. Holmes agreed. and it does even stranger things to people at Fordham. So, "Good show," he said as he chewed on an empty pipe. in honor of this pagan feast, Fordham Profile went into the "However," he added, "I wish I had some dope to put in this field the last few nights to check out some of the more pipe." provocative people in costume. No names will be used in Batman and Robin were noticed drinking Buds in the order to protect the identities of those involved. Lantern later. Batman's hair was perfect. So, too, was Batman and Robin Among the costumes were the usual amount of ghosts Halloween in the Bronx. Mimes and Mummers: Last Remnants Of A Great Fordham Tradition by Sue Sandier Collins, its unique format featured a stage with no curtain, Division's professionalism smothered the Mimes." The Movies, mixers and the Fordham bars may be the places and actors who doubled as stagehands in moving props and Mimes were forced into building sets, ushering, and playing to go on weekends, but it wasn't always that way. Once, the scenery. In order to accomodate the crowds at Fordham's bit parts. The lack of intensive training would be felt for place to be on Saturday night was Collins Auditorium, en- "pioneer" theater, the third floor of Collins was converted years. joying a play produced by the Mimes and Mummers. into a lobby, complete with armchairs, potted palms, and Problems arose among the semi-professionals too. Rev. Today, few people remember the long and brightly lit ashtrays. Raymond Schroth, S.J., a former Mime, noted, "As a history of the Mimes and Mummers, or just the Mimes as The growing success of the Mimes was cut short abruptly group, the theater had all the problems, bickering and they call themselves. The group had its roots in the old St. in 1942, when the University announced dramatics would internal jealousies that theater people are known for." John's Dramatic Association, itself an outgrowth of a drama be discontinued at Fordham until the end of World War 11. Also, there were academic abuses in the Theater Division. club dating back to 1851. (n the years before St. John's In 1946, the war over and the students returning to Ford- Many semi-professionals were students "in name only," and University became Fordham, the Association produced 114 ham, the Mimes resumed production, with a schedule of six never intended to get their degrees. They were accused by plays between 1871 and 1920. major plays and twelve original short plays. McCleery called many of using the Fordham Theater as a showcase and No source reveals why the name "Mimes and Mummers" it, "The most ambitious schedule ever for a Mimes season." stepping-stone for their careers. was chosen when Rev. Robert I. Gannon, S.J. (later Presi- The Mimes were joined by a new moderator, John Accordingly, the University decided to phase out the dent of the University) revamped the dramatic association in Leonard (later Fr. Leonard, S.J.), who stayed with the Theater Division in the summer of 1952, and dramatics at 1921. One Mimes historian provides a definition of the group almost continuously until 1968. Fordham returned to the realm of the Mimes. names—"Mimes" were a troupe of actors, who went from The opening in 1955 of a Passion Play authored by the house to house at Christmas time, performing seasonal Rev. Alfred Barrett, S.J., a gifted poef, painter, dramatist, plays. "Mummers" performed all year round, and traveled "There is no reason why the and past Mimes director, was the last real burst of creativity from town to twon. and energy. Barrett's unique All My People investigated the Not just acting dominated the early years. Designing and theatre should not flourish psychological state of Christ's mind in an historical pageant. building sets, and playwriting were important areas of acti- An immediate success, it was done annually until 1966. It vity. In 1922, the Mimes established an Annual One Act on Rose Hill once again... was all that was left of the "golden years." Play contest. Many entries came from freshmen, who were As the attendance dwindled at plays, The Ram pleaded all required to take a playwriting course then. a university should want for a revival of theater at Fordham, saying, "There is no "Heat" by James Concagh was the first winner. First prize reason why the theater should not flourish on Rose Hill once was the extraordinary sum of $25, at a time when four the flame of theatre..." again... a university should want the flame of living theater, dollars fed and housed a family for a week. not just an occasional spark." The new group became quite popular on campus, and off The greatest post-war innovation for the Mimes, and for The Experimental Theater in Keating was dead, and even campus too. The Mimes joined in the Jesuit Intercollegiate Fordham, was the opening of the Theater Division in the worse, the historic Penthouse Theater had been closed. For One Act Play contest, a yearly competition of dramatic clubs Department of Communication Arts in the fall of 1946. A a time, it served as a rehearsal hall, but during the I960 in Eastern Jesuit colleges. Fordham was a frequent winner Master of Fine Arts degree in theater was offered, and semi- renovation of Collins, the first theater-in-the-round on the for decades, until they dropped out of the contests because, professionals flocked to Fordham. east coast was converted into office space. as a former moderator said, "The competition was getting to As a result, 1946 to 1952 marked the "golden years" of In 1966, the Mimes were forced to discontinue the be life and death." Fordham theater. The theater advertised in area newspapers popular and profitable Passion Play. This death of tin.1 In 1940, the Mimes even made it to Broadway —almost. and sold subscriptions for each season, with 1946 prices at Passion Play, combined with the rapidly shifting orientations Actually, Who Ride on White Horses was done at the $3.00 for the six major shows (usually $1.20 a per- of youth in the nation, scaleJ the fate of the Mimes. Student Heckscher Theater on 5th Avenue, near 104th Street, formance). dissent and independence became the driving force behiiul rather far from the theater district. It was, however, a bona This was the era of Peer Gynr and of Eugene O'Neill's changes, both for Fordharvr and the Mimes. fide New York theater, and it featured a "first" fpr the Lazarus Laughed. When O'Neill heard his play was to be In 1968, after Deering left the theater to teach in the Mimes—Mary Schneider, a teacher in the School of Educa- done at Fordham, he said, "It was the best Christmas Communications Department and Leonard took a year-loii'J tion, became the first female to perform in the previously . present I've had this year." sabbatical, the Mimes formed an autonomous Board of all-male Mimes. 1951 provided a new addition to the director's staff at Directors, composed of elected officers and other repa' It was also the first show directed by Albert McCleery, who Collins, a professional young actor and coach named sentatives. Complete control of the Mimes and Mummers was responsible for the construction of a full lighting system Vaughn Deering. His demanding instruction would produce passed from tlie hands of the faculty to the students. and revolving stage in Keating Little Theater, once used only excellence in acting previously unsurpassed in the long Until then, the Mimes had always funded their own for experimental theater. It was on this new stage that the history of the Mimes. productions, paying for everything out of box office receipts first musical was produced, and both the Little Theater and Ye! even with sold-out performances, the lines of eager All this changed in 1968, when the group officially became <> musicals became permanent fixtures. patrons, and one smash success of technical and acting "club", and was eligible for funding from student activity In 1941, Collins Hall was renovated. Changes included precision after another, internal problems threatened to monies. The Mimes received a generous budget, including the construction of the Penthouse Theater, the first Theater- destroy the Fordham theater. $4,000 (later cut to $3,000) for a director's fund, since tin- in-the-Round in the east. Located on the fourth floor of One observer summed up the problem, "The Theater continued on page 5 The Ram Thursday, November 2, 1978 Page 5 Mimes The height How would Einstein of Western continued from page 4 theorize about O'Keefe? Mimes were now without a professional director. Culture. Although the O'Keefe formula is.sec ret. certain factors in the The "New" Mimes and Mummers confidently plunged h, equation are well known: and immediately hired a full-time technical director, Gerald 1. O'Keefe has a hearty, full bodied flavor. pait. Under his direction, a variety of experimental aijid 2. It is smooth and easy going down. classical plays abounded with dazzling technical effects. 3.'lts head commands respect. According to Eric Schultz, a past president of the Mimtjs, Our theory is that Unstem would have concluded: // s loo good to op- timistic. "We've been trying some new things," sh<-J;said. All natural, "With Bye Bye Birdie last spring, we brought in some jjrade creamy; full of fruit school kids for matinees. They just loved it —after the sjhow, they wanted to meet the actors, and get their autographs. To BREYERS. them, these were real actors." Real yogurt MARTIN ROSEN'S PRODUCTION OF RICHARD ADAMS'S Obviously, the Mimes have been missing that kijid of at its best. "WATERSH1P DOWN" .™AC ANGELA MORLEY adoration which used to come from the Fordham (com- cJttX'MIKE BATT.na,ung»,ART GARFUNKEL munity. Now they must go outside Fordham (or it. oSMARCUS DODS &SKPHIUP DUNCAN .; ; 'here has also been some discussion of doing some s|hows 1K5KT0NY GUY »*"«« IWDUCTIONS UMIUD him o.CFI with the Faculty Association, recent sponsors of the Mjmes, «nd with Campus Ministries, which would like to do God- 10 MINUTES " Bu~ t as Shepherd said with a sigh, "There's sc little AVCO EMBASSY PICTURES Release time." And so little money, and so little support froin the OF YOUR TIME ''ordham community. Starts Tomorrow At These Select Theatres MANHATTAN And the current purpose and philosophy of the Mfmes? COULD SAVE — ON THl LAST SI01 ON THE WEST 5IDt •'hese have also changed since the birth of the group! fifty- ' ilrUASTSIDE CINEMA ^BAUJNEMA / GUILD 50TH ST seven years ago. Once, it was theater for the sake ej>f art, A FRIEND'S LIFE. -ON LONG ISLAND — IN CONNECTICUT " later theater for the sake of innovation. For fur inform.itii'll. willc In: DHUNK DHIVHI.Hi'x '-'IMfi ^CRITERION U^\MANHASSET ^RKO PUINVIEW /TRANS LUX CINEMA I Today, "Theater is an experience for the audienaf first, U.x-Uillr. M.ntUml M852 f ASf W(« MtVrtr (M'li •,'( d.-l. '••!(. '•. ' ''(» ' P"I a,v,-< A --,f. H; I < i* / ..'"<. <,'i
Adults: $2.00 Saturday, November 4th ONLY $2.oo admisssion. C.C. Ballroom 8:00 P.M. Students: $1.00 R| a different set of jaws. _ CIRCLE THEATRE Westchester Avenue Exit on Cross Bronx Expressway
You have something to FUTURE CPA'S share with the people of the LFT US HELP YOU rural South and Appalachia BECOME A CPA — yourself. Find out how you can help, as a Catholic Brother, Sister, or Priest. 1/3 OF USA Your request will be treated confidentially. THE STARS! THE MUSIC! THE MOVIE! l ~~ I'd like information about opportunities with the Glenmary Missioners and the free poster. I'd like a free copy of the poster only.
Glenmary Missioners Room 53-3 Box 464041 Cincinnati, Ohio 45246 Name_ NEW YORK 212-594-0822 LONG ISLAND 212-564-2651 Address_ NEWARK 201-623-7870 City .State. CLASSES BEGIN NOV 27 Zip .Age_ •-^y '—iv^yi i \y —>u u CPA REVIEW bracadabra, I sit on his knee. Presto change and now he is me. Hocus pocus, we take her to bed Magic is fun; we're dead. DAT DIANA ROSS m MCAT THE WIZ" LSAT / MM" •. Also Srarring GMAT / ECFMG MICHAEL JACKSON • NIP5EY RUSSELL PCAT / FLEX TED ROSS'LENA HORNE OCAT / vaE ond RICHARD PRYOR Cos "THE WIZO GRE / NOB • TONVWALTON • CHARLlT SMALLS • QUINC'f JONES SAT / I. II KENHAKPEP, • DEDE°ALLEN • OSmLDMORWSosc VAT/NLE . '
ALBERT WHITLOCK • JOEL SCHUMACHER • ROD COHEN MAGIC SIDNEY LUMET ATERRIFYING LOVE STORY |No..Mi»-on^ri DOMXJrtnwo KWatmi I— JOSEPH ELEVINE PRESENTS MAGIC ^feAiH ANTHONY HOPKINS ANN-MARGRET NOW PLAYING- BURGESS MEREDITH EDLAUTER EXECUTIVE PRODUCER CO. ERICKSON KHPMN MUSIC BY JERRY GOLDSMITH SCREENPLAY BY WILLIAM GOLDMAN, LOEWS ORPHEUM • MURRAY HILL • PtAZA ^~;;^;£r Ml tap [mluft t WnkMIH»II1IIIMU1-TM1O»Wam MANMAmN . . 212-U2-14OO E -ON LDNO ISLAND- PRODUCED BY JOSEPH ELEVINE 593 MW. Avt., NY 10022 (nr 54 St) AND RICHARD PLEVINE UA CINEMA 150 KiSS™. UA CINEMA 46'1 MMKLYN 21243MM9 DIRECTED BY RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH For Group $•!•• Only— Call (212) MI-I2W LOM ISLMMS16-248-11S4 PRINTS BY DE LUXE TECHNICOLOR TJ JZZTJSL. •'in /DOLBY STEREO ——— S1M3M14I tmUJO . . 716-247-7070 STARTS WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 8TH AT A THEATER NEAR YOU COPE-The student-to- MCNtSTER 71MH40M SVMCKE S1WJ1WTI BEEKMAN PARAMOUNT NATIONAL GfMMERCY 65lh SI. A 2nd Avc 6l5l & l!ro,id«Jy Dicudnjy at 44lh SI tcnington Avc al 23rc] SI student counselling service NfWJIKEY ...2O1-MI-2M2 737 2622 247 5070 BMODbO GR5I660 C«NN[CTICUT...203-7tt-11N • Venders Npw Jc-'sey — long Island—— B.S. MOSS MOVIEUNO Mann's FOX WOODBRIDGE RKO PARAMUS LOEWS NASSAU QUAD Phones:933-2233, Ext 609t For Irtformtltoft About Othtr Ctntir* 2500 Central Park Avc, US #1 "IMI Gills lane Route 4 Nassau Mall-levitlown In Miior US Clttas ft M>ro*d Vonkcrs Woodbridgc. N J Pjramus, N J 3585 Hempstead Tphe. (201)634 0044 (201)487 7909 (510)^31-5400 OutiM« NY SUtt (914) 793000? 698 295-8732 C*U TOU nil: I00-MM7M The Ram Thursday, November 2, 1978 Page 7 Curriculum continued from page 1 Department asked whether or not the pro- builds on French 1. Or, in another example, posed curriculum puts enough emphasis on history 1 might cover Greece to the Renais- the sciences. "Is Fordham College a liberal SPEND A DAY sance, and History 2 from the Renaissance arts college or a liberal arts and liberal sci- to the present. ences college?" he asked. In horizontal integration, courses are Kurtz said the committee would look into "clustered" the way they currently are in the the possibility of greater emphasis on the IN THE Values Program. A student registers for a sciences, again stressing the proposal was package of courses, such as History 1 and still tentative and would most probably be Philosophy 1 which are related either chro- revised before the final vote. nologically or thematically. Gilhooly also questioned the involvement REAL WORLD Kurtz stressed that the success of the new of the College of Business Administration, program is "predicated on the absoloute since business students must take their liberal necessity of support structures." The cur- arts requirements in Fordham College. riculum committee in its report stated that it Kurtz explained the committee intends to realized the proposed curriculum depends meet with the administrators of the College on the faculty for "a generous investment of of Business Administration as soon as pos- time and effort to develop and make succes- sible. sful the sequences within the disciplines and Director of the Criminal Justice Program the clusters across disciplines, for without the Dr. John Martin suggested an evaluation of It's Career Day full and on-going cooperation of the faculty, the block schedule. the curriculum, even if implemented, will Most of the faculty who wanted to speak Thursday, Nov. 9,1978 fail." at the meeting had no chance, since only Kurtz completed the presentation of the one hour was allotted for it. From 10:00 to 2:00 committee by asking for comments from the Kurtz announced there would be an open faculty. meeting to discuss the curriculum proposal in the Campus Center Ballroom Brother Leonard Gilhooly of the English on Friday, December 1 at 12:30. PRESENTATION BROTHERS Sometimes all the theory, lectures, tests, and studying doesn't are men consecrated to a life of faith, love, and self-sacrifice, following Jesus as teachers, equal an hour of real experience. And now here's your chance to living in a prayerful community life of commitment and service, located in the United experience reality yourself. Listen to and question men States and other countries. For free information contact: Vocation Director, Dept. R, and women who work out there in the real world. Executives 6150Champlain Blvd., Verdun, Quebec, Canada, H4H 1A5, or 368 South Ellsworth Street, Marshall, MO, 65340. from the real world of retailing, banking, advertising, sales, research, accounting and more. The GBA Alumni Association is bringing these professionals to you on Career Day. It will be a perfect opportunity for you to hear about the positions, fields, Students interested in nominating a speaker and careers open to you. If s the perfect day for seniors who are having job interviews, and for underclassmen who still aren't for this year's Commencement Exercises sure about their course of study. Get your guidance from people should pick up a nomination form from the who are already out there...people who know what ifs like.
pSG office immediately. If no one is there, This is free advice thafs really worth sc nething. please contact Sam Turvey at 933-0890. Deadline for nominations is Nov. 10. I 1 POSITIONS AVAILABLE FOR MANAGEMENT-ORIENTED WOMEN
COMPUTER SCIENCE EDUCATIONAL SERVICES ENGINEERING LOGISTICS OCEANOGRAPHY OPERATIONS ANALYSIS PERSONNEL ADMINISTRATION PUBLIC RELATIONS
These are just some of the fieldswith openings for women as mana- gers in today's Navy. As a junior executive, a woman's responsibility consists primarily of managing the Navy's various shore facilities throughout the world. After a brief training period, she assumes respon- sibility for a division of 5-40 people and could easily be in a position to manage literally millions of dollars of sophisticated equipment. The experience she obtains is the best available anywhere. Locations avail- able overseas and throughout the United States offer excellent oppor- tunities for travel. Being a Naval Officer is a challenging and rewarding experience. A starting salary of $13,000,000 plus fringe benefits, is competitive with salaries offered in private industry. Representatives will be available for interviews on November 9, 1978. For an appointment, sign up in the Placement Office. Page 8 Thursday, November 2, 1978 The Ram Rams Edge Mariners, 14-9 Soccer by Erasmo Bruno The Fordham soccer team ended another by Mike Kay each team playing so well on defense that a Five-and-a-half minutes into the third winless week with a 1-1 tie against Fairfield With the outcome of the game in doubt mistake by the offense could very well quarter a 35-yard punt by Gillardi put the and a 2-0 loss to Long Island University. The until the final minute, the football Rams decide the game. And that's what Mariners on their own 28. The Mariners team's record in the Metropolitan Con- defeated the Kings Point Mariners 14-9 at happened. proceeded to march 72 yards in 13 plays to ference is 1-3, while its overall record is Jack Coffey Field Saturday. The win brings make the score 14-9. The drive was a disci- Fordham was driving from its own 21 and 4-6-2. the team's record to 5-3. brought the ball up to the 49 when quarter- plined one, with QB Sam Oncea handing off After both teams punted on their first pos- to backs Doe and Ed Ruth, and hitting Ruth Against Fairfield, with the score tied 0-0 at back Vince Connolly fumbled and defensive the end of regulation play, the game went session . the Mariners took the ball on its own back Robert Frenna recovered. On the next coming out of the backfield for an important 47 yard line and methodically marched 46 • 21-yard gain. Eventually it was Ruth scoring into overtime. Searching for the right offen- play Doe fumbled and Rams' DB Bernie sive combination, Ram Coach Frank Schnur yards to the Fordham seven. With strong Flynn recovered with 7:18 left to play in the with a seven-yard run up the middle. A fake running from freshman Dean Doe, who extra-point attempt with holder Greg Cas moved co-captain George Fitzgibbon from half. sweeper to striker. Two minutes into the gained 30 yards on four carries, the Mariners Fordham then staged a drive that was tagne throwing incomplete for the two-point seemed to be on their way to a touchdown. conversion kept the score at 14-9. overtime period, the gamble paid off as Fitz- kept alive with a big third-and-six pass from gibbon outhustled a couple of defenders and But the defense stopped Kings Point on The Ruth touchdown was the last score of Connolly to wide receiver Gary Carter as scored an unassisted goal. In an attempt to three tries from the eight and they were the afternoon but for a while, it didn't seem Carter played magician, keeping his feet maintain the lead, Fitzgibbon was moved forced to settle for a 25-yard field goal by as though it would be. After the score, inbounds on a diving catch on the Mariner back to sweeper. The strategy didn't work Tim Deeley. Mariner kicker Coleman Cosgrove kicked to 38. Five plays later, halfback Juan Pacheco though, as Fairfield tied the score with two Inspired by their stubborn defensive stand Juan Pacheco at the five, who ran 70 yards punched it in with a 10-yard run off right minutes remaining. The Rams' defense was against the Point, the Rams scored a touch- to his own 25 yard line. This was the longest tackle. The kick of Zimmer made it 14-3. caught at a standstill, as they anticipated an down on its next possession. Highlighted by kickoff return of the year, as Pacheco broke The half ended with an unsuccessful 30- offsides penalty being called. a 21-yard kick return by Craig Miller to the his own mark of 35 yards. Eventually, an yard field goal attempt by the Mariners' Tim Last Wednesday, the Rams lost 2-0 to 50, the Rams scored in eight plays, with the Andre Simmons fumble ended thadrive. Deeley. L.I.U. which is ranked 6th in the state. touchdown scored by fullback Andre Sim- . The run by Pacheco was the last scoring Dating back to an earlier loss to Rutgers, this mons from the four. Pete Zimmer's, extra The defense's job in the first half was threat by Fordham, but Kings Point had one was the fourth straight time the Rams were point made it 7-3. made considerably tougher due to the fine more attempt. With 2:50 left in the game, shutout. On the ensuing kickoff, Kings Point's Fred field position the Mariners were getting on and the ball on its own 25 yard line, Oncea The combination of international players McDonough ran the ball 20 yards to the each possession. This was due in part to the brought the team upfield, firing completions Jim Rietz and Richard Chinapoo did all the Mariner 35. Again the Mariners brought the weak punting of Pete Morello, who had a of 17, seven, and 10 yards, bringing the ball scoring for L.I.U. Sophomore Rietz, a native ball deep into Fordham territory and again 20-yard punting average for the day. How- to the Fordham 20 with 43 seconds remain- of Germany, scored 13 goals and nine the defense stood tough and forced them to ever, when Morello was replaced after his ing. On a first-and-10 Oncea again complet- assists before the game against the Rams. punt, first punt of the second half—a 20-yarder— ed a pass, but this time it was to Fordham Freshman Richard Chinapoo, a product of The rest of the first quarter and most of by John Gillardi, this problem was rectified. DB Bill Bono, who picked the ball off at the the Trinidad Senior National Team, came the second was a punting match, as both Gillardi averaged 36.2 for the rest of the 12. The Rams proceeded to run out the into the game having scored 12 goals and defends stood firm. It seemed that with game, his best being one of 49 yards. clock to clinch the victory. 11 assists. Ranked 12th in 11 In the 41st minute of play, Rietz scored on a penalty kick. He was fouled by goalie Montanino who came out of the goal in an attempt to cut down the angle of his shot. Squash Aims For Top Five 6:35 into the second half, Rietz scored his second goal of the game on a pass in front of the net by Chinapoo. by Chris Keating Lions, a team the Rams defeated twice last One of the best kept secrets In Fordham year. On the following day, the squad battles sports is the squash team, which ranked a team they have never beaten, fourth twelfth in the nation last year, and is confi- ranked Yale. Although the Rams have yet to V-Ball dent of a higher finish this season, stop the Elis, McNamara declares confident- The team, which lost only one senior from ly, "We will beat them this year." While by Dean Mendes last year's squad, recruited the third ranked Fordham does not match serves with the The women's volleyball team has a record junior player in the country, Ed Sarasola. nation's top team. Harvard, it will be com- of 4-4 as it heads toward the Met Con- With the addition of Sarasola, the Rams peting against the Princeton Tigers, ranked ference playoffs this weekend. _. "should have one of the most formidable second. The team is coming off an impressive teams in the country," according to senior When, realistically assessing the team's showing in a tournament held at Kings captain Jim McNamara. The starting line- ability, McNamara stated, "We are not in Point, in which the Ramettes lost in the up—including five seniors—has plenty of Harvard's or Princeton's league yet." None- semi-finals to Brooklyn College after beating experiences as does coach Bob Hawthorne, theless, the captain feels that Fordham can Mercy, Dominican, Kings Point, and Bar- the Rams' mentor for the past 26 years. rank as high as fourth in the nation if the nard, while losing only to Hofstra. Hence, this year's squash team has the team plays to its potential. He said, "We're The team concluded its regular season by potential to be the best in Fordham's history. shooting for the top five with a possibility of winning two of its last three matches. The gaining fourth." Ramettes defeated Medger Evers 3-0, in Since four of the top five players are As to the individual members, McNamara what assistant coach Jarda Tusek called "a seniors, the team finds itself in an almost is the number one man. He has an excellent strong game in which we dominated." The must-win situation. If Fordham is to acquire chance of winning the Met Conference sin- team lost a tough match against Barnard national prominence in squash, this is the gles title. Sarasola, out of Martin Van Buren College of Columbia, 3-2. Tusek explained year to do it. As McNamara noted, "Ford- H.S., holds down the second slot. BillCraw- the loss, saying, "We didn't have good ham has never been as strong as this year's frd and Dan Driscoll—both seniors—are teamwork at the end, otherwise it was an Jim McNamara, Fordham Squash cap- team and probably won't be for a while." numbers three and four respectively. even match." tain, feels the team is ready for its best The Rams believe that they can defeat Seniors Bob Bull and Mike DelRosario sup- year ever. The team ranked 12th nat- their archrivals, Stony Brook, for the Metro- ply experience and consistency to the mid- Head coach Eliot Winokur is looking ionally last year, and has five seniors politan Conference championship—a goal dle of the lineup. Juniors Joe Molloy and towards putting together a contender for the returning. that has eluded them for more than five Peter Ross and sophomore Don Corley future. He hopes to combine his best players seasons. Stony Brook, ranked seventh in complete the starting nine. with those from Barnard (the team which the nation last year, edged Fordham for the Following the completion of the season, Tusek is the head coach of), and form a Met title last year. A crucial home and home Fordham will travel to the NCAA tourna- strong team to enter the United States Vol- series between the two teams could decide tment, held at West Point in early March. leyball Association. Such a team would the league title. The Rams' major goal is to perform well at travel to Europe in the spring with the Fordham opens against the Columbia this tournament, USVBA. Iff I'm Not Mistaken Beating The Rush _ l?on Mergenthaler
Now that you've all finished munching on your candy Mickey Rivers: something upstairs. Ranger fans: the Stanley Cup, or any kind ot cup. corn and eating around the razor blades in your apples, it's Tom Penders: divine intervention. Dave Rice: a lifetime subscription to his (and my) _ time to prepare for our next important holiday—Christmas. M. Donald Grant: death by hanging. favorite college newspaper. Cease and desist, I hear you thinking (you really shouldn't be Bucky Dent and Brain Doyle: someone to pinch them and Ron Guidry: mortality. thinking that loud), what about Thanksgiving? Well, per- tell them that yes, it all really happened. Boston Red Sox: a doctor to diagnose that strange lump sonally 1 never lent much credibility to Thanksgiving. Be- Sparky Lyle: a change of scenery. in the throat that afflicts them every September. sides, I don't like cranberry sauce or pumpkin pie. Lee Mazzilli: a dime for every girl under 13 that has pro- Tom Lasorda: an "1 love New York" t-shlrt. positioned him. Dave Kingman: a position he can play. So, in order to avoid the last minute rush that inevitably New York Yankees: nothing (I mean, what don't they Calvin Griffith, owner of the Minnesota Twins: a ban on occurs around Christmas—and because I really don't have have?) all black players in the American League. anything better to write about this week—1 hereby present New York Mets: anything (1 mean, what don't they need?) Joe Namath: higher Nielsen ratings. with considerable trepidation and not the least bit of humili- Billy Martin: a muzzle. Catfish Hunter: a new arm. ty, my Christmas shopping list for this year. New York Islanders: some defense lessons from the Glen Gondrezick: a new name. Rangers. George Steinbrenner: a pen with disappearing ink (for Thurman Munson: a new attitude. Daryl Dawkins: anything he wants (and make it snappy, payday). Kevin Loughery: a reprieve from the governor (of New Jersey, of course.) please). Bill Russell, Dodgers' shortstop: some Rustoleum to pre- Joe-Torre: my sympathies. Tom Seaver: a portrait of his favorite board chairman, serve his iron glove. Pete Rose: a ten-year contract. suitable for framing or wrapping fish. Willis Reed: job security. Red Sox fans: a suicide note. < Mets fans: a reason for living. Vendors at Shea Stadium: your generous support. Leon Spinks: driving lessons. Dick Stewart: good riddance. Luis Tiant: a certificate stating why he shouldn't be de- The Yankees' broadcasters: a literacy test. Steve Garvey and Don Sutton: each others' head on a clared legally dead. Charley Finley: Reggie Jackson. silver platter. Ray Kroc, owner of McDonalds and the San Diego Reggie Jackson: Charley Finley (they deserve each Reggie Jackson and Thurman Mut.son: ditto. Padres: more meat in his hamburgers, and less players that other). The Ram Softball team: credibility, and a new infield. are hamburgers. Marv Thronberry: someone to tell him why they wanted Me: story ideas, so 1 don't have to write about Christmas Howard Cosell: a tape recorder without a play button. him to do mat commercial,, in the first week of November. , , ,. , . , , •: . i ans at Yankees-Hed Sox games: a metal detector.