For Survivors by Survivors: A Healing Resource

Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center For Survivors by Survivors

In March 2018, SAPAC created and shared a survey as a part of a project entitled For Survivors by Survivors: A Healing Resource Co-Creation.

The anonymous survey was an opportunity for survivors to share what materials have been helpful in their healing process; these are the results. In here, you will find books, poetry, songs, movies and shows that survivors have found helpful as a part of their healing process.

If you are a survivor, this resource is for you. Not all of these answers will speak to you, but some may. If you are a friend or supporter of a survivor, feel free to share this resource with them. Our hope is simply to share out resources that have been helpful in survivors’ healing processes. 2 Guide

Books: Page 5 Poetry: Page 8 Songs: Page 9 Movies: Page 11 Shows: Page 13 Final Words: Page 15

3 Some Important Notes

All of the materials listed in this resource are answers received anonymously from “For Survivors by Survivors: A Healing Resource Co-Creation Survey.” Their inclusion does not represent SAPAC endorsement.

We were not able to use all of the answers we received in the survey, for various reasons. Still, we are so grateful for all the responses, received from so many survivors, and want to honor and validate all of the information that was so graciously shared with us.

Some of the materials included have content notifications (written CN) beside them; however, if you see a material listed that doesn’t have a content notification that you feel should, please contact Aysha Abiade, [email protected].

4 How to Eat, When Things Fall Apart, Thich Nhat Hanh Pema Chödrön Books Short meditations that Discusses using painful cover everything from emotions to cultivate We Believe You, eating with others and wisdom, compassion, Annie Clark & Andrea Pino enjoying our food to and courage, and ways connecting with the for creating effective University/college earth. social action. students from incredibly diverse backgrounds and identities "share experiences of trauma, healing, and everyday The Courage to Heal, Being Peace, activism.” Ellen Bass & Laura Davis Thich Nhat Hanh Includes activities for Highlights the processing, gaining a connection between our The Happiness Project, greater understanding, own personal happiness Gretchen Rubin normalizing, advice, and and the state of the One person’s year- more. world around us. long attempt to CN: Some portions of the book discover what leads to may be difficult to read, and true contentment. potentially triggering. 5 The Color Purple, Yes Means Yes, Alice Walker Jaclyn Friedman & Jessica Valenti Books Life story of Celie, a poor Brings a variety of black woman abused and perspectives and experiences assaulted by her father focused on the theory that I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and then later her Maya Angelou educating all people to value husband; she attempts to female sexuality and spare her sister from Why Does He Do That?, First volume in a set of five pleasure leads to having the same life. A Lundy Bancroft autobiographies by Maya viewing women Angelou, recounting her friend helps push her A counselor who works finally toward an differently, with abusive men uses his childhood. awakening of her creative and ending rape. knowledge to help women CN: The book details her childhood and loving self. recognize when they are sexual assault. CN: An incredibly difficult read, Sex Matters for Women, being controlled or with depictions of brutal Sallie Foley devalued in a relationship, violence. This guide helps women and to find ways to get free The Mindfulness Coloring Book, of abuse. Emma Ferrarons understand how their Self-Compassion, bodies work and take CN: Highlights patterns of A pocket-sized coloring book Kristin Neff charge of their abusers, which can be triggering. that offers a practical exercise Exercises and action plans sexuality. Sexuality in mindfulness that draws on for dealing with every is a lifelong journey; your creativity and hones emotionally debilitating this book gives your focus. struggle. a roadmap for self-discovery and growth. 6 Shrill, Working With Available Light, Lindy West Jamie Kalvin Books A book on how to Account of sexual and physical survive in a world where assault by a stranger and how not all stories are the family, and the survivor, Oranges are Not the Only Fruit, created equal and not survive and heal for the next Jeanette Winterson all bodies are treated five years. with equal respect, and Describes the adolescence of a CN: Some content may be bright and rebellious orphan how to weather hatred, particularly difficult/triggering. adopted into a Pentecostal loneliness, harassment, household and her coming to and loss. terms with her unorthodox sexuality. Wild, Cheryl Strayed Waking the Tiger, Essentialism, Peter Levine Greg McKeown With no experience, Strayed hiked over a By understanding the Empowers people to thousand miles of the dynamics that make wild reclaim control of their Pacific Crest Trail, one animals virtually immune own choices about where young woman forging to traumatic symptoms, to spend their precious ahead on a journey that the mystery of human time and energy. maddened, strengthened, trauma is explored. and ultimately healed her. 7 Gloria Anzaldua Loose Woman, Milk and Honey Sandra Cisneros Rupi Kaur Lucille Clifton Poetry A candid, sexy and "Milk and Honey takes listeners Carol Ann Duffy wonderfully mood- through a journey of the most Rudy Francisco strewn collection of bitter moments in life and finds Robert Frost A War to Be Won, poetry that celebrates sweetness in them— Halsey the female aspects of because there is Olivia Gatwood love, from the reflective sweetness Ross Gay Forgiveness, to the overtly erotic. everywhere Beau Taplin "Poignant, sexy. . . if you are just Marge Piercy lyrical, passionate. . . willing to look." Claudia Rankine cool and delicate. . . Healing Comes in Waves, Adrienne Rich Ijeoma Umebinyuo hot as a chili pepper.” r.h.sin I Felt a Funeral in my Brain, The Sun and Her Flowers, Bianca Stone Rupi Kaur Emily Dickinson Henry David Thoreau “A journey of wilting, Nayyirah Waheed Still I Rise, falling, rooting, rising, and Maya Angelou blooming. A celebration of Alice Walker love in all its forms.“ Walt Whitman The Truth About Monsters, CN: Some graphic scenes/ Nikita Gill mention of assault Recommended Authors 8 Songs Find the Spotify playlist here

Albums Calling All Skeletons, Alkaline Trio Cherry Wine, Hozier Banks - Goddess Clean, Taylor Swift Beyoncé – Lemonade Cranes in the Sky, Solange Kesha - Rainbow , Expectations, Belle and Sebastian Feel Invincible, Skillet Songs Free Me, Sia Alive, Sia The Fighter, Gym Class Heroes All Our Lives, Andrew McMahon in the Goddess, Banks Wilderness I Believe, Christina Perri At This Point in My Life, Tracy Chapman I Forgive You, Kelly Clarkston Bird Set Free, Sia I Wanna Get Better, The Bleachers Blackbird, The Beatles I Was Here, Beyoncé Blended Family, Alicia Keys I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor , Sia I Won’t Back Down, Johnny Cash Version Bridges, Boy & Bear I’m Still Standing, Elton John Burning Hill, Mitski It’s On Us, AJR Buzzcut Season, Lorde Liability, Lorde 9 Listen, Beyoncé A Million Reasons, Lady Gaga Mine, Phoebe Ryan Missing You, All Time Low Never Give Up, Sia Not a Pretty Girl, Ani DiFranco Not Ready to Make Nice, Dixie Chicks Not While I’m Around, Glee Cast Till It Happens to You, Lady Gaga Power, Little Mix (CN: Sexual assault) Patience, The Lumineers Skyscraper, Demi Lovato Peace in the Valley, Elvis Presley Still, Seinaboo Sey Praying, Kesha Survivor, Destiny’s Child Rainbow, Kesha Warrior, Demi Lovato Reaper, Sia What Now, Remember, Belle and Sebastian Who You Are, Jessie J Resolution, Jack’s Mannequin Writer in the Dark, Lorde Ribs, Lorde You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me, Cher Rise, You Don’t Know, Katelyn Tarver Rise Up, Andra Day You’ll Never Walk Alone Shake It Out, Florence and the Machine You’re Only Human, Billy Joel Stand Up For Something, Andra Day Sunrise, Nora Jones The Show Goes On, Lupe Fiasco This is Me, Kesha Songs

10 Silver Linings Playbook Blue is the Warmest Color After a stint in a psychiatric care Adèle's life is changed when Movies facility, a former teacher, Pat, she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who moves back in with his parents will allow her to discover Footloose (2011) and tries to reconcile with his ex- desire and to assert herself wife. Things get more challenging Moonlight “I have been so lost. I have been losing as a woman and when Pat meets Tiffany, a as an adult. my mind. and you don't even see it? A chronicle of the You don't even care.” mysterious woman with In front of problems of her own. others, childhood, City teenager Ren MacCormack Adèle grows, adolescence and moves to a small town where Rating: R seeks herself, burgeoning rock music and dancing have CN: Instances of physical violence in loses herself, adulthood and ultimately been banned, and his rebellious regards to romantic relationship of a young, spirit shakes up the populace. finds herself through love and loss. African- Rating: PG-13 Perks of Being a Wallflower Rating: NC-17 American gay man Lars and the Real Girl An introvert freshman is taken CN: Explicit sexual content under the wings of two seniors growing up in A young man who experiences who welcome him to the real a rough delusions strikes up an world. neighborhood of unconventional relationship Miami.” with a doll he finds on the Rating: PG-13 Internet. CN: Highlights issues of self-harm, drug Please take particular care with movies; Rating: R use, suicidal ideation, and implied child some artistic depictions can be Rating: PG-13 sexual abuse. triggering. 11 Wonder Woman Audrie & Daisy "When a pilot crashes and A look at the effects Movies tells of conflict in the outside that online bullying has on the lives of world, Diana, an Amazonian teenagers and their warrior in training, leaves community. Contact Maleficent home to fight a war, CN: Bullying, suicide Dr. Ellie Arroway, after years discovering her full powers “I had wings once. of searching, finds conclusive and true destiny.” They were strong. They were stolen radio proof of extraterrestrial Rating: PG-13 from me.” intelligence, sending plans for a mysterious machine. A vengeful fairy Rating: PG is driven to The Hunting Ground Marley and Me curse an infant princess, A family learns "An exposé of rape crimes on only to Lady Bird important life lessons U.S. college campuses, their discover that from their adorable but In 2002, an artistically institutional cover-ups, and the the child naughty dog. inclined seventeen-year-old devastating toll they take on may be the one girl comes of age in students and their families.” Rating: PG person who can Sacramento, California. Rating: PG-13 restore peace to their troubled land. Rating: R CN: Themes involving college sexual assault cases Rating: PG 12 Shows (TV, Netflix, etc.)

Chopped (Hulu, Food Network) Gilmore Girls (Netflix) BBC Planet Earth (Netflix) A reality game show where chefs A comedy that follows a mother and “The Planet and its Wildlife” compete to create the best dishes. daughter living in a small town.

The Office (Netflix) The Bold Type (Hulu, Freeform) The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix) A comedy about an office space, the The Bold Type" is inspired by the life staff who work there, and their daily of "Cosmopolitan" editor in chief Rescued after 15 years in a cult, Kimmy happenings. Joanna Coles. The show is a glimpse Schmidt decides to reclaim her life by into the lives and loves of those venturing to New York, where she CN: Some scenes demonstrate sexual harassment responsible for a global women's experiences everyday life with wide- magazine. Their struggles are about eyed enthusiasm. finding your identity, managing CN: Allusions to sexual violence in the bunker One Day at a Time (2017, Netflix) friendships and getting your heart A comedy featuring a veteran who is broken, all while wearing the perfect living with her mother and two jeans to flatter any body type. children.

13 Shows (TV, Netflix, etc.)

Veronica Mars (Go90) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Hulu) A teen noir mystery drama series Buffy is a Slayer, one in a long line about a student who moonlights of young women chosen for a as a private investigator, under the specific mission: to seek out and guidance of her detective father. destroy vampires, demons and CN: Deals with themes of sexual assault, other forces of darkness, with abuse, rape culture, and violence supportive friends who aid in her battles with evil. CN: Some depictions of violence

Survivor suggestion: Re-watch things that you liked during your childhood. “It was comforting, and a reminder that I’m still the same person.”

14 Thank you again to all the incredible survivors who contributed to the creation of this resource. As one person reflected in their survey response:

As survivors, “we are strong, worthy, and beautiful!”

For University of Michigan students, faculty, and staff interested in seeking out SAPAC services, please visit the SAPAC website to learn more. For those not affiliated with the University of Michigan but living in Washtenaw County, please visit the SafeHouse Center website to learn about their services. For help from a national resource, please visit the RAINN website to learn more about their services.

For any questions, comments or concerns related to this resource, please contact Aysha Abiade, [email protected].

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