ISSUE 97 - DECEMBER 2009 HEALTH WARNING: This magazine contains comments that may disturb the bar

PAGE 7 PAGE 19 PAGE 24 PAGE 26 Wine Predictions Resolutions Ted & Alice

Circulated FREE to Barristers’ Clerks in the HTTP://MAGAZINE.CLERKSROOM.COM EDITOR’S PAGE

By the time you read this edition of Clerksroom Magazine the stuffed turkey feeling will have subsided, the sales season will be well under way, and the prospects for the second decade of this century will be up for debate. As someone born half way through the last century [surely not they cry!] you would think that all those years of experience might help predict the future year and decade. Sadly not otherwise I would have retired on my gambling gains some time ago.

The theme this month is all about predictions and resolutions. Forget Bob (Santa Claus) Moss about politics and the economy which can be left to the “pundits” to get wrong. Professional predictions come from a variety of sources each year ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES TO: including from the office of the new Chairman of the Bar Council. Then [email protected] there are suggestions about when the General Election will be and who is going to win, and from the tabloids predictions about “Z” list celebrities EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES TO: and you can always go to the internet to get the latest odds offered by [email protected] Skybet. There have already been the fashion shows for 2010 as everyone tries to cut the cloth according to budget, and the inevitable debate This edition of the Clerksroom which will rumble on for a good six months on the topic of who is going Magazine has been kindly supported by the following companies: to win the World Cup! And how could I forget golf and trying to predict [as did the Sunday Times recently] when Tiger Woods will next “play around”. Advantage Office Supply Systems Ltd Unit 10, Poole Hall Industrial Estate, Ellesmere Port, Cheshire CH66 1ST. Just about the only “racing certainty” is that the next year if not the next T: 0151 357 3500 couple of years will see the legal profession face the most difficult tests F: 0151 356 3459 of its entire existence. Alternative business structures are just around the E: [email protected] corner. The funny thing really is that the same doom and gloom prediction for the profession was exactly what I was told when I qualified as a Corner House Design & Print Ltd solicitor in 1976, and have been told every year since. The Old Chapel, Manchester Road, Carrington Village, For most of us who do not make a living out of predicting the future, Manchester M31 4BL T: 0161 777 6000 coming up with a few suggestions is, in the very welsh words of Rob F: 0161 777 6060 Brydon, “just a bit of fun” at this time of year. Nobody ever remembers E: [email protected] any of your predictions or challenges you later whether they came true or not. So how about making a few predictions and sending them in to me. I Clerksroom Magazine is produced under licence by JAR Holdings Limited, 9 Old Coach Road, will keep them, anonymously if you prefer, until next New Year and we Kelsall, Cheshire CW6 0QL. 07734 995 902 will see who was right.

Whatever you predict for yourself, I hope you have a prosperous New Year.

1 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE Outer Temple Chambers Win Award

Personalised Plastic Mail Bags for Chambers ■ Sending out more than 20 bundles a day?

■ How about your logo and details printed on your There were 6 finalists for this year’s Chambers of the plastic mail bags? Year at the British Legal Awards 2009 held at Old Billingsgate Market, London On the 3rd December highlight the relationship we have with a number of ■ Ask for details: It is cheaper then you think! 2009. They were: organisations but particularly with the Refugee Council and with ActionAid. They do excellent work for Atkin Chambers Email Mailpac: vulnerable people and we’ve worked with them to raise Blackstone Chambers money and raise awareness through events and other Outer Temple Chambers [email protected] initiatives, including a scheme to provide temporary Serle Court employment for refugees when we have staff vacancies Tanfield Chambers Telephone: XXIV Old Buildings in Chambers.” 07734 995902 Outer Temple was named Chambers of the Year 2009. The award was collected by Gerard McDermott QC, Jill Brown, Benjimin Burgher and Naomi Ling.

Outer Temple was described as “innovative and progressive in planning for implementation of the LSA2007 and in its approach to social responsibility and client care.” The judges noted the impressive list of cases, business development initiatives and international projects. The British Legal Awards supported the leading UK charity Changing Faces, that supports and represents Christine King, commercial director at Outer Temple, said: people who have disfigurements to the face, hand or body from any cause. “We were delighted to get this award and one of the good things about the criteria for it was the emphasis The Chambers of the Year at the British Legal Awards on social responsibility. It gave us the opportunity to 2008 was Maitland Chambers.

2 MAILPAC IS THE TRADING NAME OF JAR HOLDINGS LIMITED, DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 THE TECHNOLOGY CENTRE ELLESMERE PORT CHESHIRE CH65 3EN ARTICLE Something About Life At The Bar

BVT Threatened Boycott Mergers on The Up The right pictures in your Chambers help project a professional image and provide an inspirational environment for staff. On Thursday 10 December 2009 The Law Society Just when you thought you knew your law firms and Gazette carried an article by Jonathan Rayner where the work was coming from, The Gazette also on the threatened boycott of the BVT [Best Century Galleries Ltd, Art Rental service is unsurpassed and our flexible approach, combined with an published findings in a new survey that suggests many extensive catalogue, makes quality fine art available for all tastes at a low cost. Renting art provides the Value Tendering] pilot scheme. firms are looking to merge and so change the legal freedom to change your collection as often as you wish and ensures the workplace always looks fresh and landscape yet further. stimulating. More than 120 criminal legal aid firms will apparently refuse to take part in Legal Services Commission plans Three-quarters of top100 law firms have been In addition, it is far more economically efficient to rent art at a low cost rather than purchase it, and not tie up to pilot best value tendering (BVT) unless they are approached by other firms with a view to merging this your money in capital assets. As long established dealers of Fine Art , we represent many artists of indemnified against transfer of undertaking, protection international fame and have a history of finding new rising stars. Our framing and restoration division is one year, new research has suggested. of employment (TUPE) actions arising from it. of the most renowned in the South of England. Our service is utilised and trusted by private clients and insurance companies alike. The greatest level of merger activity was predicted by The commission wants to start piloting BVT in Greater firms in the mid-tier, with 83% of firms with between Manchester and Avon & Somerset from 4 January 2010. We visit your Chambers to establish how many pictures are required and their preferred location. On our 50 and 99 partners expecting law firm mergers to second visit we will bring a selection of pictures for your consideration. Once artwork and costs are agreed, The bidding process will affect 176 legal aid contracts increase. we will then arrange for the pictures to be professionally installed. with 141 firms. So far 124 firms have refused to participate without a TUPE indemnity. In 2008, 60% of top 100 firms expected an increase in Our extensive collection is divided into four categories with over 500 pictures in each style: law firm mergers, while in 2007, 49% expected an According to the Gazette, the firms that are Semi Abstract Impressionist Abstract Representational increase. unsuccessful in their bid for a BVT contract are likely to go out of business, but redundant staff may be able to I am reminded of the approach taken by surveyors and transfer to firms that did win a contract under TUPE. estate agents shortly before they embarked on what The suggestion is that these firms could be driven out some described as the “Sale of the Century” and sold of business themselves by the influx of unwanted extra large chains to the insurance and banking world for staff and by the cost and management burden of huge profits, only to then buy them back several years defending against TUPE claims, so they are asking the later for nominal sums. LSC to indemnify them against TUPE actions as the price of their cooperation with BVT. Before the sales took place, there were many mergers and acquisitions as forward thinking partners got their Cleaning, maintenance and insurance is included within one manageable weekly fee. These visits are a great Can you imagine a similar scenario for chambers? So collective acts together to best sell their businesses. I opportunity to make any changes to your collection. your criminal set are used to getting loads of work from wonder if the solicitors are doing the same in readiness a firm of solicitors who do not win the BVT process and Client Quote: for life under new business structures. “An extensive art collection that’s affordable!” all that work goes to a firm who do not like your set. It could happen. You cannot please all of the solicitors all Tim Wheeler, Senior Clerk, Harcourt Chambers. of the time. So your set merges with a set which has “ One of the best services I have ever brought into Chambers. Century Galleries are professional, smart, and the BVT work but does not need any more criminal clerks. Do you see the Bar extracting the same TUPE the service they provide is imaginative and unique; they are all a real joy to work with. “ protection for the unwanted clerks? Just a thought. Other Services: Fine Art Sales, Fine Art Conservation & Restoration, Picture Framing. Criminal lawyers also called on the LSC to delay the pilot scheme by three months because it had still not by mid-December published regulations on the new bidding process. Century Galleries Limited, Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. T: +44 (0) 1491 575 499 F: +44 (0) 1491 575 600 7 [email protected] www.centurygalleries.co.uk DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE ARTICLE Wine Good News The Wine Society’s As a follow up to last month “wine” story I was sent this advert recently which seems to sum up the festive spirit! Guide to Wine Tasting

The benefits of learning how to taste wine are both immediate and tangible. Being able to interpret appearance, smell and taste in the glass, and recognising the characteristics of the small number of grape varieties which lie behind most wine labels not only enhances enjoyment, but boosts wine confidence, two excellent reasons for learning the ropes. Anybody with working faculties and the will to succeed can do it, and, with a little practice, achieve a good standard of wine appreciation. This monthly guide aims to set out the general principles of tasting and understanding wine. We have looked at grape varieties, vineyards, winemaking and the effect of oak – this month we check out tannin and acidity.

4. Oak It’s important to recognise the presence of tannin in wine, which Just as some grapes are more tannic than others, the level of gives a clue both to the wine’s potential longevity and, in some natural acidity in grapes varies considerably, not only from cases, to the grape variety from which it is made. Found in the variety to variety, but from region to region. The presence of skins, stems and pips of grapes, as well as in wooden barrels, acidity is what turns alcoholic fruit juice into a refreshing glass tannin is a vital preserving ingredient which must, nonetheless, of wine but the key word, again, is balance. The shrieking be handled intelligently to keep it in balance with the other sharpness of unripe grapes is hard to tame, while a wine elements which make a fine bottle. lacking in acidity is at best flabby and at worst, unpleasant. Good acidity, which helps inhibit the effects of harmful bacteria, Some grapes are low in tannin, others improbably rich. For among other things, makes a wine taste racy, fresh, and even example, the tannat of south-western France has extremely mouthwatering. thick skin and five pips per grape, rather than the more usual three. There is much that the winemaker can do to minimise the effects of excessive tannin, including ensuring that the grapes Next month, we shall look at the effect of time. are fully ripe before picking, removing stems and even pips before fermentation. For wines intended to be drunk young, For more information about The Wine Society, including how to micro-oxygenation techniques may be used to coax tannin and join, go to www.thewinesociety.com. pigment molecules in the grape skins to form the long, delicate chains conducive to softer wines, a process which would Life membership of The Society can be yours for a one-off normally take a long maturation period. payment of £40, giving you a share in this co-operative business. If you join before 31st December 2009, you will Whether a wine is to be aged for many years, or enjoyed in its receive a credit of £20 to your account that you can use youth – for a briskly tannic young red can be exceptionally good towards your first purchase. with certain rich foods – the important thing is that any tannin present should not overpower the fruit. Green, unripe tannins taste unpleasant in a young wine and rarely improve with age. Ripe, well-managed tannins, on the other hand, often evoke tasting terms like ‘silky’ or ‘harmonious’.

6 7 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 Fax: 0845 370 3501 E-mail: [email protected] your Why choose us as costs and save time throughout the year. can introduce an innovative new supply system that will reduce If not.. call us today to receive details and information of how you overhead? Legal Buying Groups and massively reducing your office supplies Has your firm spoken to advantage yet about joining one of the www.advantageoss.com Tel: 0845 370 3500 one supplier? all available from just Choose from over 30,000 product lines, Superb choice business. can focus on the success of your One Dedicated service for you. efficient ordering system that’s perfect Work with us to create an effective, Flexible ordering hidden costs. Save on purchase price and eliminate Lower costs source, one solution means you one supplier. Getting my first pay rise. Chambers? So far what has been your best moment in needed a reliable, strong lad. Richards, senior clerk at 2 Harcourt Buildings, who on North Eastern Circuit who was a friend of Ken My father was a friend of Alex Grisbrook, senior clerk Why did you become a clerk? years (only invented in 1974). making tea, but fortunately no photocopier for two 1976, long time ago. Junior clerk, or goaffer, great at what capacity? When did you start working in Chambers and in At the Chambers Bar Awards ceremony last October 20 Essex Court picked up 3 awards. Iain Milligan QC was awarded International Arbitration Silk of the Year along with Julian Kenny winning International Arbitration Junior of the Year. Lord Neill was presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award. The set are also to participate in the Maxwell Chambers project in Singapore. ”What Makes A Clerk Tick?”

DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 Their Senior Clerk is Brian Lee.

ARTICLE

9 Audi A4 Convertible Audi A4 What car do you drive? Apocalypse Now Your favourite film? Lots Do you have any bad habits? anybody. Always free to talk and enjoy a beer/fine wine with otherwise? What is your best characteristic, clerking or Working weekends. What is the worst aspect of the job? Being paid to make decisions. What is the best aspect of job? Indecision. What irritates you the most? Ken Richards, senior clerk, 2 Harcourt Buildings. career? Who has been the greatest influence on your diary and losing some work. Letting down a MOC by not taking booking out of Chambers? What has been your worst moment in Continued on page 11... ARTICLE

...continued from page 9

What’s on your iPod? If you were stranded on a desert island, what 2 Rather sad, Rolling Stones Black and Blue plus lots of items would you take with you? Stevie Wonder. Razor and a bottle of good scotch (6 litre bottle).

How do you relax? If you had not gone into clerking, what would Working in Singapore. you have become? Most probably the Army, I was a good cadet. What event anywhere in the world would you most like to witness? So what does make a clerk tick? Aurora Borealis. If I knew I would be a good clerk.

Name one person you would like to have dinner with and why. From Ryan Giggs, best player in the world playing for the best team in the world. corporate identity [Editor: BBC Sports personality of the Year too!] to large format displays

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11 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE Important Changes To Pupillage

Just in case anyone has forgotten, on 1 January 2010 a number of important provisions take effect for pupils, newly qualified barristers, pupil supervisors, and other individuals with responsibilities towards pupils and pupillage under the Legal Services Act 2007 (‘the Act’). Extracts from the BSB guidance notes are below.

The BSB warns pupil supervisors where a pupil does not have the necessary certificate:

“It is important that you inform the clerks of these changes so that they do not book a hearing for a pupil who has not yet been authorised to exercise a right of audience.”

This means that, from 1 January 2010, if a pupil does not have a Practising Certificate, it will be a criminal offence to undertake a reserved legal activity such as appear in court. Every pupil should know about this requirement but better to be safe than sorry. From 1 January 2010 it will become a criminal offence to exercise a right of audience without having in force a Practising Certificate.

What does this mean for first six pupils? There is no change for those who are undertaking their first six, as first six pupils have never been entitled under the Code to exercise a right of audience. BSB to issue second six pupils with Practising However, there is an important change for those who Certificates. Pupil supervisors should be aware that have finished their first six and plan to commence a until a pupil has complied with the requirements second six. In previous years, those who have explained in the guidance and been issued with a completed their first six were able to commence their Practising Certificate, the pupil will not be legally second six and begin exercising a right of audience on entitled to exercise a right of audience. the following day.

What does this mean for second six pupils? If you have any questions about these changes, or need Second six pupils will require a Practising Certificate to submit any certification forms, please contact: from 1 January 2010 in order to be legally entitled to exercise a right of audience. Those who are Pupillage Compliance Team undertaking a second six pupillage as at 1 January will Bar Standards Board, 289-293 High Holborn automatically be sent a Practising Certificate. London WC1V 7HZ DX 240 LDE What does this mean for pupil supervisors? E-mail: [email protected] All pupil supervisors should be aware of the changes in Tel: 020 7611 1444 the legislation and the arrangements put in place by the Fax: 020 7831 9217

12 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE Short Management Course

I am indebted to a certain Dr. Finlay of Mornington Crescent for a copy of his course notes recently delivered to a gathering of eminent wigs.

Lesson 1 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' A fees clerk, a bar clerk, and their practice manager are replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' of the tree. says the bar clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! He's the second branch. gone. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly 'Me next! Me next!' says the fees clerk. 'I want to be in perched at the top of the tree. Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pena Coladas and the He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him. love of my life.' Puff! She's gone. Moral of the story: Bull Sh*t might get you to the 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the practice manager. top, but it won't keep you The practice manager says, 'I want those two back in there. the office straight after lunch.' Lesson 4 Moral of the story: Always let your boss have A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the first say. the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped Lesson 2 some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also The dung was actually thawing him out! sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him rabbit and ate it. out and ate him.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing Moral of the story: Not everyone who sh*ts on you nothing, you must be sitting is your enemy. Not everyone very, very high up. who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. And. When you're Lesson 3 in deep sh*t, it's best to keep A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be your mouth shut! able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

15 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE 2010 – Predictions It does not take a genius to work out that 2010 could be a fascinating year. A General Election and a football World Cup may distract us from the economic horrors we see every day but relief may only be temporary. So what is there possibly in store?

Economy • MP caught in indecent act in public toilet. The views of some in the know seems to be that the • Important public figure revealed to be a member of outlook for 2010 looks increasingly bleak, with the a white supremacy movement with 2010 seeing a immense government deficit driving the return of serious increase in racist attacks 17.5% VAT and possibly 20% thereafter. There is the • Secret human cloning experiment attempts to clone likelihood of higher income tax and national insurance famous person. across the board, and public sector job cuts, which will • X factor in 2010 will be won by a group of friends compound a rising unemployment trend. All of this begs who were choir boys together. the question – what kind of economic recovery can we • Britain pulls out of Afghanistan leaving only a few expect? What shape will it take? token troops. • Iran gives up its quest for a nuclear bomb but South Let’s use letters of the alphabet. A “V” shaped recovery Korea continues to threaten peace. for the UK allowing a degree of “interest rate • Celebrity is kidnapped and a ransom demand made. normalisation” [that means rate rises to me] on a • Barack Obama expresses an interest in holistic global scale should not pose too much of a problem. healing and ‘world healing’ becomes a dominant Any decent bounce back in growth would leave the theme and key phrase to his 2010 speeches. He Bank of England able to start nudging up interest as brokers a historic deal between Israel and the the rest of the world does the same. However, some Palestinians. pundits believe that global forces are too strong for such a rebound in the UK economy. So instead we The “Z” List LAWCARE could see more of a “W” as we get a rollercoaster ride. Worst of all is an “L” shape where we hit rock bottom Next I turned to the online gamblers. Here are some and just bump along. you can bet on courtesy of SKYBET. See what you think. LawCare is an advisory and support They offer the opportunity to discuss service to help lawyers, their staff and health issues and problems which are Psychic Predictions for 2010 their immediate families to deal with interfering with, or have the potential to These are the predictions of one Craig Hamilton- Parker who claims a degree of success in these health problems such as depression and interfere with, work performance and/or matters. I leave them to your good judgement. addiction, and related emotional family life – and to seek help in resolving difficulties. the problem in its early stages. The • Bin Laden dies. service is free and entirely confidential. • Quantum physicists discover extraordinary way generate electricity from water. Helpline: 0800 279 6888 16 Continued on page 19... DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 9 a.m. - 7.30 p.m. weekdays 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. weekends and Bank Holidays ARTICLE

...continued from page 16

Cheryl and Ashley Cole to split up to be sacked from Atomic Kitten to reform 10/1 Gill Butchard 4/7 X Factor 7/2 Principal of Butchard Associates leave Radio 1 Russell Brand and Katy Perry to Guy Ritchie to publish book about breakfast show 4/7 marry in Vegas 4/1 marriage to Madonna 10/1

6 main Friends cast sign up for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to Mariah Carey to win best actress Is obtaining/chasing client feedback a real chore? Friends film 4/6 have another baby 4/1 Oscar for her role in Precious 16/1 Arlene Phillips to return to Strictly Peter Andre to become official Madonna to have Jesus Luz’ child Do you lack the time to carry out an as judge evens couple with Chantelle Houghton 4/1 16/1 effective review – and find out what your Prince William and Kate Middleton Brad Pitt to get back together with Lily Allen to star in a film 5/1 clients really think about your Chambers? to get engaged evens Jennifer Aniston 16/1

Emma Watson to drop out of 's contract with Original Sugababes to reform 5/4 university 5/1 renewed 20/1 Gill Butchard of butchardassociates can help you with any of the following: Cheryl Cole retain FHM sexiest Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to Prince William and Chelsy Davy woman in world title 5/2 release a duet 5/1 to marry 20/1 ■ Co-ordinate your client feedback questionnaire: produce the questionnaire, send it to your clients, analyse the responses and Robert Pattinson to be named People to wed Lewis Ant and Dec their get own Magazine’s 2010 sexiest man alive report back to you 3/1 Hamilton 6/1 individual TV shows 33/1

■ Paris Hilton to take her new BFF to get own show on Victoria Beckham design a range Telephone or visit to selected clients about the service your chambers, search to Australia 3/1 terrestrial TV 8/1 for Primark 50/1 analyse responses and report back to you Jordan and Pete Andre to remarry Robin Wright & Sean Penn get back Stacey Solomon to replace Holly ■ Help chambers implement change in line with the responses received 3/1 together only to file for divorce again10/1 Willoughby on This Morning 100/1

Gill could also help you with: Personally I favour a Royal Wedding to lift the spirits in June, before the world Cup. They could go to South Africa for their Honeymoon! Supplier review Debt Collection World Cup Expenditure Analysis/Review Holiday/Sick cover Ladbrokes offerings for the World Cup 2010 make me smile. There is one sure way to make sure the Jules Rimet Trophy Management Reports Job Training does not come home is to make England one of the tournament favourites. France, who has no business being there, would be worth a flutter at 16/1. Database Management Procedural review

Client Management Business Review Spain 4/1 Germany 9/1 Portugal 20/1 Marketing England 5/1 Italy 10/1 Ivory Coast 25/1 Brazil 11/2 Holland 11/1 For more info: Argentina 9/1 France 16/1 See Gill’s website at www.butchards.co.uk Email: [email protected] Tel: 0772 591 1320 www.butchards.co.uk 19 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE Christmas Quiz Questions and answers from last month.

1. Who was the first British monarch to broadcast a 13. Which of the Wise Men was said to have brought Christmas message to the nation? the gift of gold for the baby Jesus? Melchior George the Fifth (in 1932) 14. The 1954 movie White Christmas was the first to 2. Child star Jimmy Boyd sang which hugely popular be made using what new Paramount film format? 1950's Christmas song, which was initially banned VistaVision by the Catholic Church in Boston because it supposedly mixed sex and Christmas? 15. Which river did George Washington cross on I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus Christmas night in 1776 in the American Revolutionary War? Delaware 3. Who banned Christmas in England between 1647 and 1660? Oliver Cromwell 16. What changed in 1752 which caused Britain to have a White Christmas less frequently thereafter? 4. On which date is Epiphany celebrated in the The calendar (the adoption of the Gregorian calendar, traditional Western calendar? 6th January replacing the Julian calendar, shifted Christmas day back 12 days - and all the other days too of course - 11 days 5. Who are the four ghosts in Charles Dickens' A were skipped in 1752 and a further day in 1800.) Christmas Carol? Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Yet to Come, and Jacob Marley (one point for 17. Traditional in Germany at Christmas, what sort of each correctly named ghost, and a bonus point for all food is stollen? Cake four) 18. According to the UK National Meteorological 6. What liqueur goes into making a 'snowball' Office what year (prior to 2007) was the last cocktail? Advocaat (or advokatt, pronounced 'advocar' - White Christmas in Britain? 2004 normally a blend of brandy, egg yolks, vanilla and sometimes other ingredients - award yourself a bonus 19. The Christmas period of 1813-14 saw the last point if you dare order one next time you go to the bar.) what in London? Christmas Fair on a frozen River Thames (known as a Frost Fair) 7. What is the English title of the carol written in 1818 by Austrian priest Josef Mohr originally 20. How many gifts are given in total in the song The called Stille Nacht? Silent Night Twelve Days of Christmas? 364

8. The Nordic countries (Denmark, Sweden, Norway 21. The words "Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume notably) tend to celebrate Christmas chiefly on breathes of life, of gathering gloom..." come from which date? which Christmas carol? We Three Kings of Orient Are 24th December (composed by Rev John Henry Hopkins, 1857)

9. Which US state in 1907 was the last to declare 22. In which body of water is Christmas Island? Christmas a legal holiday? Oklahoma Indian Ocean 10. Presepe in Italy refers to what Christmas tradition? Nativity scene (literally meaning crib) 23. Which diarist noted on 25th December 1662, "(Christmas Day). Had a pleasant walk to White 11. Christmas Crackers is rhyming slang for Hall, where I intended to have received the which part of the male anatomy? Testicles communion with the family, but I have come too late..." Samuel Pepys (pronounced 'peeps') 12. What is the popular name for little baked sausages wrapped in rashers of streaky bacon? Pigs in blankets Continued on page 23...

21 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE

...continued from page 21

24. The USA's official National Christmas Tree is in story. This extended the 1923 poem and was later still which National Park? King's Canyon National Park, developed into the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer California (a giant sequoia called The General Grant) song.)

25. John Callcott Horsley designed what first 28. Which token vegetable is often included in the commercial Christmas item in 1843? Christmas card ingredients of a Christmas pudding? Carrot (vegetables were in earlier times used in making 26. In Victorian England what people were popularly Christmas puddings) called robins because of their red uniforms? Postmen 29. What animal is Snowball in George Orwell's book Animal Farm? A pig 27. Which popular poem was alternatively known as A Visit from St Nicholas? 'Twas The Night before 30. Yorkshireman William Strickland is believed to Christmas ('Twas the night Before Christmas' is also the have brought the first what to Britain from North first line. The poem was first published anonymously in America in 1526? Turkey 1923 and is commonly attributed to Clement Clarke Moore, although some believe Henry Livingston was the true author. This different to the song Rudolph the Red- Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph was created in 1939 by copywriter Robert May for the Montgomery Ward department store chain in a free Christmas promotional winterbreaks

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23 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE Forget About Resolutions By the Editor [Drafted after a couple of “sherbets”]

Resolutions just do not last the test of time. Good intentions are easy late at night after a few festive drinks. If I had a pound for every diet a member of my family was going to start tomorrow, I would have retired by now. And anyway, “Tomorrow never comes”.

A New Year's resolution is defined by Wikipedia as “a What do I have in mind? Well, why not try one of these commitment that an individual makes to a project or on for size. the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes • Don’t make any personal resolutions from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day and remain until fulfilled or • Become a nuisance. Determine to remind abandoned.” someone every day that they are failing to deliver their chosen resolution. The classic “Top Ten” Resolutions 1. Spend More Time with Family [or Friends] • Don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo. To 2. Fit in Fitness create truly original work you have to be 3. Tame the Bulge [drop loads of lbs] prepared to get it wrong and that’s hard to do. 4. Quit Smoking 5. Enjoy Life More • You’ve fulfilled your task, you’re happy with 6. Quit Drinking the result and you’re pretty sure your client 7. Get Out of Debt will be too. It’s at this point we should ask 8. Learn Something New ourselves “Can I push this further?” 9. Help Others 10. Get Organized [What is a “priority”?] The last one is the classic “going the extra mile” which is not a bad principle as long as it does not involve They are all the same prediction just dressed up to look excessive exercise! Happy New Year! different. They fall into a single category you could call “get a life”. So rather than get trapped into a short term meaningless exercise that may cost you money, why not adopt a principle. Take the courage to hold on to a belief and make it last. After all, it never did any harm to think for yourself and be positive.

24 DECEMBER 2009 ~ ISSUE 97 ARTICLE - a problem shared!!

Some more of your printable offerings!

Dear Ted & Alice, Clegg, “a compulsive liar”, admitted the offence I have two brothers, one works in chambers as a and also pleaded guilty to three charges of fraud. senior clerk, the other was given a life sentenced He defended two people on motoring charges and for murder. My mother died of insanity when I was represented firms in debt cases. But the law three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and finally caught up with him when officials became my father sells class “A” drugs. suspicious as he did not know correct court procedure. It emerged he had a history of conning Recently, I met a girl who was released from a people with previous convictions for dishonestly reformatory where she served time for smothering using a credit card, and running up thousands of her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very pounds of hotel bills claiming he worked for JD much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Wetherspoon. Shall I tell her about my brother who works a senior clerk? Other than one year of a law degree at Teesside University, Clegg has no legal qualifications. A Ted: No, it could set her back years. psychiatric report concluded that he needed “long-term psychological work”. Alice: Yes, just because my New Year’s resolution is to disagree with everything Ted says Alice: A candidate for “What makes a clerk tick?” one day! Dear Ted & Alice, Dear Ted & Alice, I am not sure if you have come across a website: One of our clerking team is cheating on his www.allaboutlaw.co.uk. They recently included a girlfriend who is a good friend of mine who works report on a student convicted of impersonating a as a clerk in another set. The problem is that he barrister who had been jailed at Teesside Crown knows I know and that I am the only one who does. Court for two years. He was also given an Asbo I caught him using a dating website one lunch time preventing him from claiming he is legal qualified. to fix up to see someone else, and he is still seeing Ted: Thanks for the info. The report read: my friend. So if I tell her he will know it was me.

“Ian Clegg, a failed law student who bought a Ted: Perhaps he wants you to tell your friend so you wig and gown on eBay, pretended to be a help him out of the relationship. barrister in a string of court cases and claimed to have set up his own chambers. He is thought to Alice: Or may be is just a little sh*t that should be put be the first person to be convicted of the new in his place. Show loyalty to your friend rather offence of “willfully pretending to be a barrister”. than him. He is not worth it.

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