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Rock the Bells Saturday, Aug. 16, Shoreline Amphitheater. 11 a.m., $35.50-$75. www.livenation.com. BY BEN WESTHOFF ow in its fifth year, the Rock the Bells festival hits Shoreline Amphitheater on Saturday with the most complete lineup of vital hip-hop acts you’ll see all year. Running the gamut from up-and-comers to legends, the event presents more strains of intelligent hip-hop (backpackers and hipsters and conscious rappers, oh my!) than varieties of medical pot the crowd will be smoking. How’s a head to choose? Via our handy-dandy little charticle below, that’s how. Match your personal preferences on the left with the applicable MC on the N right. And then, go, you know, rock those bells, or whatever. If you … Then check out … … are obsessed with Seinfeld, Saved by the Bell, Lily Allen’s third nipple, or French 1. illah, ce K Ra dance music … fa ek st w o o h n … think RZA nearly ruins the newest Wu- G Tang Clan album, which is saved by hot lines 2. ead Pre like Ghostface’s “You better kill me/You know D z you’re booty/You pulled your toolie out on me” and ’s “If I die, fill up my headstones/ With water, dough, acid, and gold classics” …

… like rappers who buck popular opinion by 3. supporting Green Party/Peace and Freedom Party candidate Cynthia McKinney for president over Democrat Barack Obama, but nonetheless find it strange that a member of a group named for assassinated heads of state would give an en- dorsement at all …

Rakim rtal Techn ... enjoy listening to activist hip-hop, as long mo iq ue 4. as you don’t have to stop playing Grand Theft Im Auto IV to do so …

... think emcees shouldn’t have to release a 5. classic album more than once a decade to be considered great …

... think emcees shouldn’t be required to os De 6. release an album, period, more than once a M f decade to be considered great …

… smoke enough weed to have forgotten an, alle od M Red ibe C d Q 7. your favorite rappers’ dubious deodorant th m Tr ue e a A s n e Pharcy t, commercials and ill-fated television shows … M Th de

… prefer rappers who are approved by the 8. Stuff White People Like blog and who pal around with avant-garde French filmmakers …

... like vintage hip-hop to get you psyched 9. about dressing in your vintage Cross Colours gear … ct y Ele ronic Ja a ... have a penchant for MCs and producers 10. who are badass enough to take down their MySpace pages, but talented enough to produce kalici in the lac ous idz Ha the best track on the new Nas album … B K ll

… disdain bubblegum rap but have abso- 11. lutely no problem with rappers named for brands of bubble gum …

... prefer MCs to come, rather than straight 12. outta Compton, straight outta the Ivy League (and look good in used-car-salesman plaid as well) …