Read Ebook {PDF EPUB} Waste of Money Overspending in Football A Tragic Loss to the Beautiful Game by Paul Stenning Paul Stenning - Ghostwriter. Bestselling ghostwriter and author of 27 books for many well-known figures. Translated into 15 different languages. 23 years of expertise. Reviews (1) Reviews (1) Overview. I am a ghostwriter and author of 26 books. My work has been published in 15 different languages. I am a best-selling author in several countries, selling over 1,100,000 books worldwide. For all enquiries, please feel welcome to get in touch and discuss your requirements. More information is available regarding my specialties and previous work via both my website and the Paul Stenning page on Wikipedia. ** Serious enquiries only please with a budget firmly in mind and stated at the outset.** Services. Languages. Non-Fiction. Fiction. Work experience. Author. Ghostwriter and Author. I have been a professional writer since 1997 - contributing to several major magazines. My first book was published in 2004. Portfolio (13 selected works) The Robert Pattinson Album. Beautifully illustrated with 75 photographs in full color, The Robert Pattinson Album by Paul Stenning is a breathtaking visual biography of one of the world’s most talked-about young actors. The hugely successful vampire romance Twilight was a box-office phenomenon, and Robert is that smash-hit film’s breakout star.In the space of a few short years, the twenty-two-year-old Londoner has gone f. read more. Beautifully illustrated with 75 photographs in full color, The Robert Pattinson Album by Paul Stenning is a breathtaking visual biography of one of the world’s most talked-about young actors. The hugely successful vampire romance Twilight was a box-office phenomenon, and Robert is that smash-hit film’s breakout star.In the space of a few short years, the twenty-two-year-old Londoner has gone f. read more. The Sheriff - My life fighting wrestlers, boxers, villains and cancer. Paul Stenning, Ray Robinson, John H. Stracey. Ray Robinson is a survivor. From broken bones and severe blood loss to life threatening illnesses, he has weathered every storm and here he tells his unbelievable life story.His ambition was always to be a boxer but, when his local authority prevented him from following his dream, he turned to wrestling. The fury behind his unrequited ambitions, not to mention the bullying the young Raymond en. read more. Ray Robinson is a survivor. From broken bones and severe blood loss to life threatening illnesses, he has weathered every storm and here he tells his unbelievable life story.His ambition was always to be a boxer but, when his local authority prevented him from following his dream, he turned to wrestling. The fury behind his unrequited ambitions, not to mention the bullying the young Raymond en. read more. Antarctica: The Impossible Crossing? The longest ever journey across Antarctica. The only traverse, via The South Pole, of the greatest axis of the continent: Six men from six countries, 36 husky dogs, 220 days, near 4,000 miles (6,000 Kms) through winter, summer and into the following winter. Battling through ferocious winter storms, isolation, crevasses, the team endured constant blizzards, little communication with the outside. read more. The longest ever journey across Antarctica. The only traverse, via The South Pole, of the greatest axis of the continent: Six men from six countries, 36 husky dogs, 220 days, near 4,000 miles (6,000 Kms) through winter, summer and into the following winter. Battling through ferocious winter storms, isolation, crevasses, the team endured constant blizzards, little communication with the outside. read more. Waste Of Money! Overspending In Football - A Tragic Loss To The Beautiful Game. Over the last twenty years football has increasingly become about one thing over all else money. This is no secret or revelation, but just how deeply this scourge is affecting the game and how ridiculous most clubs spending has become is, for the first time, revealed in dynamic detail within the pages of Waste Of Money! Veteran writer Paul Stenning examines the biggest spending and the biggest. read more. Over the last twenty years football has increasingly become about one thing over all else money. This is no secret or revelation, but just how deeply this scourge is affecting the game and how ridiculous most clubs spending has become is, for the first time, revealed in dynamic detail within the pages of Waste Of Money! Veteran writer Paul Stenning examines the biggest spending and the biggest. read more. The Band That Time Forgot: The Complete Unauthorised Biography of Guns N' Roses. The personal and musical history of Guns N' Roses is detailed in this revealing band biography. Timed to coincide with the highly anticipated release of Chinese Democracy, their first album in 10 years, this compelling account offers complete, updated information on the band's incredible past and current ambitions. New interviews with ex-band members, including lead guitarist Slash and bass pl. read more. The personal and musical history of Guns N' Roses is detailed in this revealing band biography. Timed to coincide with the highly anticipated release of Chinese Democracy, their first album in 10 years, this compelling account offers complete, updated information on the band's incredible past and current ambitions. New interviews with ex-band members, including lead guitarist Slash and bass pl. read more. Ghostwriter And Author. Here. You will find the latest information about our company here. You will. Paul Stenning writes bestsellers for. inspiring figures, entrepreneurs, celebrities, business leaders, adventurers, motivational speakers. and anyone with an amazing story to tell. Current projects : Commissioned non-fiction book and a novel. The June issue of record collector magazine features my interview with fish. Plus, conducting interviews and preparing for a podcast launching summer 2021. Recently Completed: two publisher proposals and a short biography for Robin Frederick; songwriter, author, music producer. Robin says, “I highly recommend Paul Stenning. He created a biography for me that is informational, well-organized, easy to read, and looks good. He navigated exacting requirements which is never easy; it’s not for the inexperienced. Thank you, Paul, for making my biography a reality!” Robin Frederick https://robinfrederick.com/ Paul Stenning is a ghostwriter and author of 28 books. His work has been published in 15 different languages. He is a best-selling author in several countries – from the UK to Brazil and Bulgaria – and has sold over one million books worldwide. His best-known work is Success – By Those Who’ve Made It (featuring Mario Andretti, Frank Abagnale, DJ Jazzy Jeff and more) as well as best-selling biographies of Robert Pattinson and Guns N' Roses. In recent years, Stenning has gone beyond celebrity interviewing to writing books focused on service, self-help, and inspiration. He has worked with several of the leading figures in the genre. Notable recent ghostwriting clients include The World’s Most Travelled Man , Don Parrish , a pioneering physicist and an American entrepreneur . Since 1997, Paul has also written for numerous major magazines including FHM , Front , Rolling Stone , and Record Collector . From 2011, until its closure in 2017, he was a regular columnist for the Cyprus Weekly , the top-selling English language newspaper in Cyprus. Paul has a keen interest in poetry and his first contribution to a book was as a poet, in the 2000 collection Magical Memories , edited by Poetry Now’s Heather Killingray. Since 2018 has been the official poet for the tourist board of Guinea-Bissau , combining his love for poetry and travel writing. Books accredited to Paul include: Success – By Those Who’ve Made It. 21 Inspirational Stories of Success, by those who've made it. The Sheriff - My life fighting wrestlers, boxers, villains and cancer. with Ray Robinson (Foreword by John H. Stracey ) Waste Of Money! Overspending In Football. A Tragic Loss To The Beautiful Game. Examination of football finances featuring. Roman Abramovich, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan. and Mike Ashley. The Robert Pattinson Album Biography of the Twilight actor. Nine Lives The White Mile. with David S Gill with Patty Schnyder. Guns N' Roses Metallica. The Band That Time Forgot All That Matters. Complete biography Complete biography. Among many high profile clients, Paul has worked with: British Explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes , 3rd Baronet , OBE . Comedian Peter Kay . Hollywood actress Leslie Easterbrook . British explorer Sir Chris Bonington CVO, CBE, DL . Bond Girl and actress Margaret Nolan . Tennis star Tomáš Berdych , winner of 13 ATP titles. Paul was also one of the writers shortlisted to ghostwrite the memoirs of Amanda Knox . He has 28 works available worldwide and according to WorldCat , has 2,645 library holdings. Many of his books have been published in foreign languages; from Japanese to Portuguese. Altogether he has works in 15 different languages. Outside of writing Paul has worked as assistant to the financial advisor for Take That and once worked at a famous comedy club working directly with many high profile comedians including Peter Kay . Meat Loaf has sung to him in person and he has been kissed by actress Linda Hamilton ! He has also had hundreds of official photographs taken by the Royal Family photographer, Arthur Edwards MBE . As a rock DJ he has warmed up the crowd prior to concerts by No Doubt , Motörhead and Lynyrd Skynyrd . Based predominantly in Cyprus, he lives with his wife and home schooled daughter and together they enjoy world travel. Paul Stenning. Paul David Stenning (born 12 June 1976) is an English author, ghostwriter, poet, and motivational speaker. He has written twenty-seven books, of fiction, non-fiction, poetry and biography. The best-known of his books is The Robert Pattinson Album , a biography of Robert Pattinson, first published in 2009 and appearing in seven languages since then. [1] According to WorldCat Stenning has released 29 works in 107 publications in 7 languages. [2] Contents. Early life Career Personal life Bibliography As official biographer or co-writer As writer References External links. Early life. Stenning was born in Brighton in East Sussex. He had trials with the Brighton & Hove Albion youth team and wanted to be a footballer or a writer. [3] [4] Stenning's primary school teacher remarked that he would be a writer at the age of four. [5] His family moved to Manchester when he was eight years old. [6] Stenning attended Urmston Grammar School amongst others, including Bury Church of England High School. He did not attend college or university. Despite early encouragement at school, Stenning is a mostly autodidactic writer. [7] Career. Stenning wrote poetry through his late teens and submitted his first poem in late 1999, which was published as part of an anthology titled Magical Memories , a year later. [8] During this time he worked with Take That and Peter Kay. [9] He also worked as a DJ, often playing sets before live concerts, particularly before shows at the Manchester Apollo. Stenning's sets appeared before concerts by No Doubt, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Bruce Dickinson. He also once worked at a famous toy store where he met Karel Poborsky. [10] Stenning has said music was his first love and he wrote music reviews for fun during his teens. [6] In the mid-1990s he submitted reviews to Metal Hammer where he soon became a regular contributor. Other music magazines he wrote for included Rolling Stone , Record Collector , Metal Maniacs , Decibel , Terrorizer and Alternative Press . He has also written for FHM , Front and, after moving to Cyprus in 2008, the Cyprus Weekly . He has conducted hundreds of interviews including Meat Loaf, Pete Best, Alice Cooper, Steve Guttenberg, Kathy Sledge, Peter Steele, John Myatt and Linda Hamilton. Stenning's interviews often run over the allotted time allowed. He spoke to Peter Steele and Leslie Easterbrook for almost 3 hours despite an interview restriction of an hour. Easterbrook told Stenning he asks "great questions". [8] [11] [12] In 2006, Stenning interviewed Steven Adler live onstage at The Cavern Club in Liverpool. [13] [14] Stenning's work on Guns N' Roses was cited as the most accurate book on the band by guitarist Slash. [13] [11] Since 2009 Stenning has worked primarily as a ghostwriter, working with Patty Schnyder, Jason Newsted, Frank Abagnale, Tomáš Berdych, Slash, Steven Adler, Margaret Nolan, Adam Dubin, [15] U.S. Marshals 15 Most Wanted Fugitives Jody K Thompson [11] and British champion wrestler Ray Robinson. [16] [17] Stenning was considered as ghostwriter for the memoirs of Amanda Knox due to his sensitivity and empathic interview style and ability to deal with harsh subject matters, the same reason he was chosen to handle the memoir of David Gill, the controversial owner of South Lakes Safari Zoo. [10] In 2013 Stenning released Success – By Those Who've Made It , which featured Mario Andretti, Jörgen Elofsson, Ching He Huang, Cherie Lunghi, Roy 'Chubby' Brown, Greg Merson, Susan Polgar, Phil Gallagher aka Mister Maker and Penelope Spheeris. [18] Anne Wafula Strike was the last personal biography featured in the book, which Stenning explained was because her story was the most powerful and the greatest example of success. [19] After the book was released, Stenning gave talks on success at corporate events, festivals and schools. [20] He is working on biographies of Archbishop Makarios III and Jayne Mansfield, which he considers "labours of love". [11] In 2011 he met Margaret Nolan who was thinking of writing her memoir. [10] Stenning describes Tommy Vance and especially the Friday Rock Show as big influences on his early career. He dedicated his biographies of Iron Maiden and Slash to Vance. [21] [22] Asked in 2015 if he would like to write an Axl Rose autobiography, Stenning replied, "without question". In the same interview Stenning revealed he could potentially work with Jason Newsted on a memoir in the future. [10] Stenning's books have been released in multiple languages with several titles in Bulgarian, Polish and Portuguese. [2] He currently serves as the official poet for the tourist board of Guinea-Bissau. [23] Stenning is a member of the Society of Authors. Former managing director of Virgin Books, KT Forster, has described Stenning as a polymath and a ghostwriting chameleon. Personal life. Stenning has a wife and daughter. He travels around the world to ghostwrite and is based in the United States and Cyprus. [24] Stenning has been an active campaigner for animal rights since his teens and is a vegetarian. [25] He is a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. [5] In August 2020 Stenning expressed his support on Twitter for Rowan Atkinson and the coalition of authors and journalists campaigning against the hate crime bill. Bibliography. As official biographer or co-writer. The White Mile (with Patty Schnyder, 2011) Nine Lives (with David S Gill, 2011) Ray Robinson – The Sheriff – My life fighting wrestlers, boxers, villains and cancer (Foreword by John H. Stracey, 2013) Success – By Those Who've Made It (with Frank Abagnale, Jason Newsted, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Leslie Easterbrook, Gregory Olsen, Tom Kerridge, 2013) Mark Gardiner – The Good, The Bad and The Lottery (2017) Antarctica – The Impossible Crossing? (with Geoff Somers MBE; forewords by Sir Ranulph Fiennes and Sir Chris Bonington, 2018) As writer. The Band That Time Forgot (history of Guns N' Roses, with foreword by Steven Adler, 2004) Maximum Rasmus (history of the band on audio CD, 2004) AC/DC: Two Sides To Every Glory (history of AC/DC, 2005) Maximum Velvet Revolver (history of the band on audio CD, 2005) My Chemical Romance: Something Incredible This Way Comes , (history of My Chemical Romance, 2006) Iron Maiden: 30 Years of the Beast (history of Iron Maiden, 2006) Slash: Surviving Guns N' Roses, Velvet Revolver And Rock’s Snakepit , (biography of Slash, 2007) Thrash Metal – A Seemingly Endless Time , (History of the genre, featuring contributions from Scott Ian, Mille Petrozza, Martin Walkyier, Eric Peterson, 2007) Rage Against the Machine: Stage Fighters (history of Rage Against the Machine, 2008) The Robert Pattinson Album , (biography of Robert Pattinson, 2009) Waste Of Money! Overspending in Football – A Tragic Loss to the Beautiful Game , (Focus on Premier League and other football finances, 2010) Metallica: All That Matters , (history of Metallica 2010) Success – By Those Who've Made It (2013) Related Research Articles. Saul Hudson , better known as Slash , is an English-American musician, songwriter, and record producer. He is best known as the lead guitarist of the American hard rock band Guns N' Roses, with whom he achieved worldwide success in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Slash has received critical acclaim and is considered one of the greatest guitarists in rock history. Echo & the Bunnymen are an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1978. The original line-up consisted of vocalist Ian McCulloch, guitarist Will Sergeant and bassist Les Pattinson. By 1980, Pete de Freitas joined as the band's drummer. Penelope Spheeris is an American film director, producer, and screenwriter. She has directed both documentary and scripted films. Her best- known works include the trilogy titled The Decline of Western Civilization , each covering an aspect of Los Angeles underground culture, and Wayne's World , her highest-grossing film. Frank William Abagnale Jr. is an American security consultant known for his career as a con man, check forger and impostor when he was 15 to 21 years old. Jason Curtis Newsted is an American heavy metal musician who was the bassist of American thrash metal band Metallica from October 1986 until January 2001. Velvet Revolver was an American hard rock supergroup consisting of Guns N' Roses members Slash, Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum, alongside Dave Kushner formerly of punk band Wasted Youth, and Scott Weiland formerly of Stone Temple Pilots. Weiland left the band to rejoin Stone Temple Pilots in 2008. Jeffrey Allen Townes , known professionally as DJ Jazzy Jeff , is an American DJ, record producer, and songwriter who was a member of DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince with Will Smith. Gilbert J. "Gilby" Clarke is an American musician, singer, songwriter and record producer. He had a 3-year tenure as the rhythm guitarist of Guns N' Roses, replacing Izzy Stradlin in 1991 during the Use Your Illusion Tour. Following this, Clarke went on to forge a solo career as well playing guitar with Slash's Snakepit, Kat Men, Heart, Nancy Sinatra, Kathy Valentine, MC5 and forming his own group Rock Star Supernova with members of Metallica and Mötley Crüe. Steven Adler is an American musician. He is best known as the former drummer and co-songwriter of the hard rock band Guns N' Roses, with whom he achieved worldwide success in the late 1980s. Adler was fired from Guns N' Roses over his heroin addiction in 1990, following which he reformed his pre-Guns N' Roses band Road Crew and briefly joined BulletBoys. During the 2000s, Adler was the drummer of the band Adler's Appetite, and from 2012, he had held the same position in the band Adler. In early 2017, he declared that he has no intention to continue with the band and that the band has now dissolved, with the reason being his lack of interest in performing during poorly attended concerts. He appeared on the second and fifth seasons of the reality TV show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew , as well as on the first season of its spin-off Sober House . He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2012 as a member of Guns N' Roses. Martin Walkyier is an English singer known for his bands Sabbat and Skyclad and for his lyrics. Metal Hammer journalist, the late Detlef Dengler, called Walkyier a "great lyricist" known for his multitude of words and "brilliant puns"; yet Walkyier was never asked to write lyrics for other bands, "unfortunately", as he says. Author Paul Stenning has referred to Walkyier as a "lyrical genius". Blaze Bayley is an English singer, musician, songwriter, and lyricist. He was the lead singer of Wolfsbane from 1984 to 1994, and currently from 2010 following reunions in 2007 and 2009. Bayley was also the lead singer for Iron Maiden from 1994 to 1999. Since then, he has embarked on a solo career. Cherie Mary Lunghi is an English film, television, and theatre actress, known for her roles in many British TV dramas. Her international fame stems from her role as Guinevere in the 1981 film Excalibur . Her long list of screen, stage, and TV credits include football manager Gabriella Benson in the 1990s television series The Manageress and a series of advertisements for Kenco coffee. She also competed in the 2008 series of Strictly Come Dancing . She is the mother of the actress Nathalie Lunghi. Mike Inez is an American rock musician best known for his role as the bassist of Alice in Chains since 1993. He is also recognized for his work with Ozzy Osbourne from 1989–1993. Inez has also been associated with Slash's Snakepit, Black Label Society, Spys4Darwin, and Heart. He is of Filipino descent. Guns N' Roses , often abbreviated as GNR , is an American hard rock band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 1985. When they signed to Geffen Records in 1986, the band comprised vocalist Axl Rose, lead guitarist Slash, rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin, bassist Duff McKagan, and drummer Steven Adler. The current lineup consists of Rose, Slash, McKagan, guitarist Richard Fortus, drummer Frank Ferrer and keyboardists Dizzy Reed and Melissa Reese. " It's So Easy " is a song by the American rock band Guns N' Roses, appearing on their 1987 debut studio album, Appetite for Destruction . The song was released as the band's first single on June 15, 1987, in the UK, where it reached number 84 on the UK Singles Chart as a double A- Side with "Mr. Brownstone". It was also released in Germany around the same time. James LoMenzo is an American heavy metal musician. He was a member of the band White Lion, performing with them from 1984 to 1991. He was later the bassist for Black Label Society, Megadeth and Slash's Snakepit. Outside music, he is known for being a contestant on the 21st season of the reality television series The Amazing Race . Teddy 'Zig Zag' Andreadis is an American piano/harmonica player who has worked with many popular musicians, including Carole King, Guns N’ Roses, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Alice Cooper, Bruce Willis, and the Boxing Gandhis. In 1999 he was voted “Outstanding Keyboardist of the Year” by the L.A. Music Awards. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Lisa Goich, an author. The solo discography of Slash, an American-English hard rock guitarist, comprises four studio albums, three live albums, two extended play (EP), 10 singles, and two video album. Slash has also featured on 12 singles by other artists, released ten music videos, and made contributions to numerous other releases. Anne Wafula Strike MBE is a Harlow-based British Paralympic wheelchair racer. Drumph the overspending goof-off. Komrades! In an effort to damage the evil™ Kapitalistic Orange Ogre, Drumph the Despised, the Party Kontrolled Disinformation Kollektive (the once and former State Kontrolled Disinformation Kollektive) has partnered with Our Glorious Dear Leader Kamrade Kim Jong Hill and resist the Enemies of the State who now Kontroll the State. Since obfuscation is one of our most convincing forms of dishonesty, the good people at RAWPROGRESSIVE.COM has taken the old complaint against our former Glorious Dear Leader Barack the Magnificent, that of blowing too much of the peasant ruble proletariat's precious contributions to their Fair Share™ of the Fair Share™. Always remember in these dark days, komrades: "Resist we Much!" Overthrow the Overspender!! Dump the Trump!! Just Say No!! Hate Trumps Trump!! And Many More Imbecilic Cliches!! Ode to Fake News. Bootlicker/ Lickspittle/ Which of these am I/ Don't doubt my motives/ Or I'll begin to cry/ Fake it up!/ Make it up!/ Trump is going down/ We're toadies for the left/ Obama's hired clowns. Page 1 of 1 (5 posts) Users browsing this forum: Cradle to Grave Marxist, Google [Bot] and 69 guests. Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group. Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd. You've been counted, Thought Criminal # Socialists vow to fight against Critical Socialism Theory. A more perfect Soviet Union: the Party pretends it unites us, and we pretend we are united. Biden solves border crisis with free direct flights from Central America to major metropolitan areas. Critical race theory: destroy the world of systemic racism, build a world of systemic race-baiting. In the future everyone will get canceled for fifteen minutes. Biden proposes bill to spend two trillion dollars on more money printing factories. Social unity: They pretend to hold elections and we pretend we voted. Immigrants to Texas and Florida from New York and California break down and cry when they realize all their sacrifices for a better tomorrow were based on lies. China anal swabs detect new 'silent but deadly' transmission of covid-19 variant. Social science breakthrough: 'White' is the new way of saying 'Bourgeois' Biden administration swat teams make sweeping arrests of underground female-only track meets. 'Green energy' to be renamed 'blackout energy' for easier comprehension of climate complexities. New children's game: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Science. Texas: Biden administration sends emergency wind turbines to help fight the blackouts. BREAKING: Biden signs executive order canceling the number 45. ATTENTION: It is your duty to report anyone who says this is no longer a free country. Fact-checking commissars are monitoring all state- approved social media platforms for your convenience. OUT: If you don't vote, you can't complain! IN: If you didn't vote Democrat, you can't complain! Social media justice: followers removed from pro-Trump accounts will be added to Biden's Twitter account. Fact check: a democratic election is the one in which votes are counted until Democrats win. JUST IN: China bans Twitter for being too totalitarian. Pelosi introduces new House rule to replace 'gender' terms like mother, daughter, father, son with the word 'comrade'; the only acceptable pronoun will also be 'comrade' Sources: Biden transition team demands access to White House basement to begin renovations. BREAKING: President Trump pardons America for its past. Prime Minister Modi: to avoid accusations of racism India will change its name to Cleveland. Biden creates Antifascist Librarian Justice Committee; the first book scheduled for burning is Fahrenheit 451. Media study: 148% of Americans believe voter fraud doesn't exist. 2020 Election forecast: if Joe Biden emerges from the basement on Election Day and sees his shadow, expect four more years of Trump. BREAKING: President Trump pardons Corn Pop. Toobin, though on administrative leave, is still pulling for Biden. Chinese whistleblower: Biden-20 was genetically engineered in a Wuhan lab. Nancy Pelosi sponsors a bill to create the office of removal of the President. New college humanities major: Critical Trump Studies. Opinion: Joe Biden is just an idea. CNN: Biden took a solid second place in the debate, while Trump only came next to last. Having ordered that all Californians switch to electric cars by 2035, Gov. Gavin Newsom follows up by mandating them to have electricity by 2035. Election 2020: Joe Biden pledges to a peaceful post-election transfer of power to George Soros. Out: Flatten the curve. In: Flatten the country. Breaking: the Democrat Party has finished transitioning from being the party of JFK to being the party of Lee Harvey Oswald. Paradigm shift in Chromatics: Study shows Indigo (#3F00FF) mixed with Jamaic (#C0FF01) yields Black (#000000) Study: the trouble with wokeism is eventually you run out of victims. Stacey Abrams refuses to concede to Harris; declares herself Biden's VP. Election 2020: Spunky former presidential candidate wins VP slot by a head. Churches in many states to hold services in opened up pubs and bars. Election 2020: Xi Jinping still undecided on vice president for Joe Biden. Reports: Republicans pounce on 'Republicans pounce' reports. Minneapolis launches online looting app to combat Covid-19. DNC study finds lockdowns no longer necessary as the economy is now being destroyed more effectively by looters and rioters. With America in lockdown, China offers to host Democrat primary. Bernie Sanders tests negative for President. In related news, Joe Biden follows other candidates in withdrawing from race and endorsing Joe Biden. New York Governor Cuomo shuts down all 'non-essential' business, surprised to find himself out of a job. Biden commits to picking a woman as running mate as long as she passes his sniff test. Joe Biden's coronavirus prevention tips: always rub hand sanitizer on young girls before sniffing and fondling them. Russian lawmakers warned that the American Democrats are meddling to re-elect Putin. Joe Biden promises lucrative board member jobs as door prizes to get people to his rallies. Democrats now worried they might even lose the illegal alien vote. Soleimani's remains FedExed back to Iran and now no one knows what happened to the box. BREAKING: massive search underway in Iran after Soleimani's boxed FedEx'd remains stolen off front porch. Liz Warren harshly critical of Biden's suggestion to coal miners that they should learn to code, offers to have them trained as romance novelists instead. Pelosi: "First we have to impeach Donald Trump before we can find out why we impeached him." Schiff calls his Amazon Alexa to testify: 'She knows absolutely everything' Iran answers to new Reagan statue in Berlin by erecting Obama statue at Tehran airport where he delivered pallets of cash. California accepts award for most progressive environmental policies; further progressive developments to be announced as blackouts permit. BREAKING: Romney DNA test reveals he is 1/1024th Republican. California Governor Gavin Newsom blames electricity blackouts on Ukrainian kulaks, vows revenge. Rat falling from White House ceiling fears for his life, begs reporters for protection, offers a tell-all memoir. Latest UN climate report shows this month so far has seen the scariest climate pronouncements on record. Climate science: there's no need for climate protests in China because China is already communist. Islamic clerics split on whether Reps. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib should be traveling around the world without an accompanying male relative. Dem candidates call for the Beatles' song 'Get Back' and the 'White Album' to be banned; surviving two white guys of the group must pay reparations. Bond's number is up: next 007 will be a black woman, played by Barack Obama. NYT: moon landing was one small step for Man, one giant leap for White Male Supremacy. HURRICANE WATCH: Tropical storm Barry has records sealed, once offshore expected to change name to Barack. Trump politicizes the 4th of July, declares it henceforth to be called the 45th of July, or July the Trumpth. Barack Obama critical of Trump for failing to insert 'I, me, my' into his 4th of July speech: "very unpresidential!" Congressional Democrats: John Dean's testimony proves Trump is Nixon in disguise and must be impeached. Bernie Sanders admits to being a millionaire, promises to eat himself if nominated. International Women's Day observed, women only paid 73% of attention afforded to men. Democrats: anti-Semitism means never having to say you're sorry. AOC: aborting babies helps preserve the planet for the next generation. Bernie Sanders launches presidential campaign, promises to "build a great big beautiful Iron Curtain" around America if elected. West Virginia renames itself Eastern Kentucky to avoid further embarrassment from Virginia. BREAKING: Justice Ginsburg released from hospital after breaking 3 ribs at late night bar brawl in Adams Morgan. DNA news: Senator Warren tanking in latest totem polls. Orwell studies: 84% of academics believe problems raised in 1984 can be fixed with solutions from Animal Farm. Progress in gender justice: online dating industry issues recommendations for men to wear body cameras, bring attorneys as chaperones. Study: the only people who don't know what socialism is are the socialists. Poll: 1 in 3 #FightFor15 activists believe movement is related to lowering the age of consent across America. CNN expert: Kavanaugh confirmation will increase global warming by 3 degrees. Harry Reid comes forth to say Judge Kavanaugh didn't pay any taxes in high school. Hollywood to America: If you've got a flag on the Moon, you didn't plant that; some other country made that happen. Protest march in straight jackets against Trump ends in chaos as participants try but fail to free themselves. HEADLINES YOU WILL NEVER SEE: California Gov. Jerry Brown single-handedly stops wildfires in his state by issuing an immediate statewide ban on wildfires. San Francisco closes all Planned Parenthood clinics after sting operation catches employees using plastic straws. Vegan mother undergoes experimental surgery to force her breasts to produce almond milk. With none of his emails answered, frustrated Nigerian man commits suicide and leaves $100bn fortune to charity. California gives new meaning to strawman argument as caped Strawman battles supervillains in restaurants, bars, and fast food joints. Violence increases in Mexico as cartels switch from smuggling drugs to plastic straws to San Francisco. Obama proposes a Paris Economic Change agreement among nations to address how world will cope with future runaway economic warming. Stormy Daniels plans border visit to give migrant children freebies. San Francisco: man dumping off 20 lbs of human waste in plastic bag on street corner cited for using non-biodegradable plastic bag. BREAKING: ICE renamed Planned Citizenship, immediately absolving it of all criticism. Senate Democrats demand Supreme Court nominee not be unduly influenced by U.S. Constitution. BREAKING: In 2018, Obama and Biden can finally celebrate Recovery Summer. IG Report: the FBI broke the law, but since there was no criminal intent, no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case. Pelosi on Trump's MS-13 "animals" comments: "Four legs good, two legs bad" Iran nuclear talks set to resume between the United States and John Kerry. Report: The Mueller investigation has finally determined that the lyrics to Louie Louie are not about Trump and Russian collusion. MARKETS: Demand for carbon credits spikes as Hamas seeks to undo damage to Earth's atmosphere caused by burning 10,000 tires on Gaza border. BREAKING: After state reassignment surgery Pennsylvania will henceforth be known as Transylvania. Experts: If we don't act now, unicorns will be extinct in just ten years. Children will ask, "Mommy, what's a unicorn?" Women and minorities will be forced to seek alternative hallucinations. Korean war must continue: Hawaiian federal judge declares Trump's peace effort unconstitutional. New York: feminists march on Broadway, demand the street be given new, non-misogynistic name. Experts: California's planned transition of all state jobs from citizens to illegal aliens by 2020 will help to avoid bankruptcy and save money for social programs for illegal aliens. Putin: If I didn't want Hillary to be president she would be dead. Doritos maker PepsiCo to introduce snack line for women; new Doritas™ chips will be 77% as big as Doritos and won't make any scary 'crunchy noises' TMZ: Tooth Fairy accused of sexually assaulting millions of children, outs self as Transgendered Tooth Recovery Specialist. RUSSIA COLLUSION: Trump offers Putin to trade Rep. Maxine Waters for two unnamed members of the State Duma. Ikea founder dead at 91; his coffin arrived in a box with confusing instructions and took 3 hours to assemble. This Thanksgiving ex-president Obama continues with his tradition of apologizing to turkeys everywhere for the injustice they suffered since America's founding. Oslo, Norway: 2017 Nobel Peace Prize goes to advocacy group about which you'll forget immediately after reading this headline. Cambridge, MA, library to replace racist 'Cat in the Hat' with inclusive 'Che in a Beret' Millions of men worldwide eagerly await broadcast of Hugh Hefner's funeral, solely for the articles. Bill Gates offers to pay for Trump's wall on condition he gets to install Windows. Bernie Sanders introduces single-payer public transportation bill to end America's unequal, unfair, and expensive private transportation system. DNC embroiled in controversy after official Twitter account accidentally 'likes' pictures of US Constitution and Bill of Rights. Hurricane Irma hits Cuba, causes millions of dollars worth of improvements to property and infrastructure. Climate study: extreme weather may be caused by unlicensed witches casting wrong spells in well-meaning effort to destroy Trump. Ex-president Obama declares Irma "Hurricane of Peace," urges not to jump to conclusions and succumb to stormophobia. CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes. ISIS claims responsibility for a total solar eclipse over the lands of American crusaders and nonbelievers. When asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map was. CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry. Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for' BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more. DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies' Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago. Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same. BOMBSHELL: TMZ offers Kathy Griffin $5 mil to keep any future sex tape private. DEVELOPING: CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia. BREAKING: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia. Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the grounds. Dozens injured at Ralph Lauren & Louis Vuitton headquarters after Ivanka calls in missile strikes on rival fashion houses. BOMBSHELL: Evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with his campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton. University ranked "very intolerant of free speech" fights the accusation by banning the study and all involved. Concerned that Russians don't consume enough alcohol in the month of March, Russia's Orthodox Church makes St. Patrick's Day official holiday. Grassroots group calls for "The Million Regulators March" on Washington, supported by all who fear the loss of their betters telling them what to do. Experts: Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10,000 Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face. Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests? Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate. Women's March against fascism completed with 400,000 fewer deaths than anticipated. Feminist historians uncover ghastly concentration camps where so-called "housewives" were forced to live inauthentic lives slaving away in kitchens. Dictionary of the future: Global Warming was a popular computer simulation game, where the only way to win was not to play. "Anti-fascist" groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists" Post-inauguration blues: millions of democrats distraught as the reality of having to find real jobs sets in. "Journalism is the continuation of war by other means" is exposed as a fake quote by mainstream media journalists. Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free" Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies. Health Service wastes £25 billion every year. A devastating report into waste in the NHS has warned that the Health Service will cost every household in Britain an average of £4,500 a year by 2010. Experts said more than £25billion a year is being squandered, leaving the Health Service in danger of meltdown. More here: The report came as it emerged that an Italian doctor was flown 1,000 miles from Padua to Inverness and paid £3,200 to provide GP cover for five days over Christmas. Dr Annibale Bertollo is one of the thousands of foreign doctors who are being paid large sums to fly to the UK to provide out-of-hours cover in the latest example of profligate spending by the NHS. On top of his fees, taxpayers forked out another £1,000 for travel expenses. Overseas doctors are regularly filling in at half of all surgeries because British GPs have been allowed to opt out of evening, weekend and holiday shifts with only a small reduction in their salaries. The report from the Right-leaning think-tank Reform suggests that financial mismanagement has left the Health Service in chaos - yet spending is still on the rise. While the NHS now costs an extra £35billion per year, only around £10billion has been effectively spent, according to experts at the Rightleaning think tank Reform. That means failure to adapt is costing taxpayers £25billion annually, they say. The study warns that the Health Service is now facing a 'make or break' year. Financial mismanagement has seen the service 'move away from solvency', with hospitals racking up multi-million-pound deficits. Compared with this time last year, an increased number of NHS organisations - 175 against 133 - are expected to be in deficit at the end of the financial year, according to Reform. Twenty-one have 'super-deficits' of more than ten per cent of their turnover or more than £15million. The report says the Government's claims that deficits are being reined in depends on 'windfall payments and hidden subsidies'. Overall, spiralling costs within the NHS have not been tackled and there has been a failure to invest in modern services. The Department of Health has failed to control - or even measure properly - massive increases in the costs of extra staff and infrastructure, the report warns. Overall, it says, the service is weaker in the long term than it was two years ago. Worsening financial pressures mean waiting times for some conditions have 'flatlined', and are ' increasing' for others. Fertility services and orthodontic treatment are increasingly being rationed. Changes to NHS services are being driven by the need to reduce deficits, rather than improve its structure to offer better treatment, the report warns. This means there were now 'huge risks' for its future. Badly-planned reductions in deficits by some NHS trusts will merely lead to increases in others - a financial ' seesaw', the report says. If wards or hospitals are closed to save money, this merely shifts patients and costs to other locations, threatening quality, access and financial stability. One solution would be to write off NHS debts and reform the way patient services are managed, the experts say. The authors, led by Nick Bosanquet, Professor of Health Policy at Imperial College London, believe the service could be salvaged through a threeyear programme. This would include writing off debts and introducing "rigorous financial discipline" so that all organisations are in surplus or balance. The NHS finished last year more than £500million in debt. Professor Bosanquet said: "The Department of Health has been so busy fire-fighting that it has not developed a process for getting real value. "The beginning is the abolition of deficits to allow a fresh start; then investment in new services and competition can follow." Professor Karol Sikora, a cancer expert at Imperial College Medical School and an adviser to Reform, said: "2007 is critical for the NHS. If the reform strategy is not escalated, billions of pounds will have been wasted. "We need to change the whole mindset into a consumer-focused, competitive and pluralist organisation driving innovation and efficiency. "That's what all successful service organisations are doing - why not health? It's going to be a turbulent ride but the NHS has the resources, talent and skills to get there. "The empire must move on or it will self-destruct." Andrew Haldenby, the think tank's director, said: "The health policy equation is straightforward: embrace reform and see services improve, or avoid reform and see cutbacks and lengthening waiting lists." A spokesman for the Department of Health insisted the NHS was "going from strength to strength". "Our reforms have already led to greater choice for patients of where they go for treatment, record low waiting times, a fall in deaths from the big killer diseases and services being delivered in a community setting, meaning increasingly efficient use of resources and better, more convenient care for patients. "We're also continuing a productivity drive which has already led to millions of pounds worth of savings in terms of an increasing number of operations performed as day cases, reducing unnecessary emergency admissions and prescribing cheaper, but equally effective, drugs. "As for the financial situation, by the end of the current financial year the NHS will be in overall balance, and by the end of 2007/08 it will deliver a surplus. But there is no question of deficits being wiped out - it would be unfair for overspending organisations to be bailed out by those that underspend."