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THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021-6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath Israel A s. we go to press, we join Kial Yisroel in of America, 84 William Street, New York, rY_ mourning the untimely passing of Rabbi N.Y. 10038. Periodicals postage paid in Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg'>"~!, Rosh Hayeshiva New York, N.Y. Subscription $24.00 per of Ner Israel in Baltimore, one of the guiding year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States (US lights of the Torah world. We plan to write a more funds drawn on a US bank only} $12.00 extensive appreciation in a future issue. ir::ulln surcharge per year. Single copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 84 William Street, N.Y., N.Y. 10038. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: s 212-269-2843. Politics and Divine Messages, Rabbi Eliyahu Meir Klugman Printed in the U.S.A.

RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR 10 Of Choices and Priorities: EDITORIAL BOARD OR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER A Jewish Observer Symposium On Women in Torah Society Chairman s Mesdomes/Rebbetzins: Blim1 Birnbaum, Leiba Pere/ Eisenberg, RABBI ABBA BRUDNY Tziporah Heller, Leah Horowitz, Yael Kaisman, Debby Miller, RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS Hannah Parnes, Rivky Posner, Faige Twerski, Hinda D. Wolpin JOSEPH FRIEDENSON RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIRZNER RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN PROF. AARON TWERSKI Focus ON THE CALENDAR: MANAGEMENT BOARD AVI FISHOF Breaking Down the Walls: Tisha B'Av,Fyvel Shuster NAFTOLI HIRSCH ISAAC KIRZNER HISTORICAL MILESTONES: RABBI SHLOMO LESIN 33 NACHUM STEIN l 3 Tach V'Tat -An Anniversary in Infamy, RABBI YOSEF C. GOLDING Mrs. Miriam Margoshes Business Manager 3 7 We Never Met, Yet I Know Him So Well, Published by Agudath Israel of America Elime/ech Meisels U.S. TRADE DISTRIBUTOR ISRAELI DISTRIBUTOR Feldheim Publishers Nechemia Rnsenberg SECOND LOOKS 200 Airport Executrve Park Kiryat Telshe Stone, 1OBA Spring Valley. N.Y_ 10977 D.N. Harni Yehuda. ISRAEL 40 Is Reform Jewry Coming Home? EUROPEAN REPRESENTATIVE AUSTRALIAN OlSTRl8UTOR M.T. Bibelman Gold's Book & Gift Co. Rabbi Hillel Goldberg Grosvenor Works 36 William Street Mount Pleasant Hill Balaclava 3183. Vic .. V'YESH 0MRIM London ES 9NE. ENGLAND AUSTRALIA 3 6 "Is This Your Son's Cloak?" Avraham Steinberg THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not assume responsibility for the Kashrus of any product, publication, or service 3 6 Letters to the Editor advertised in its pages © Copyright 1999

JUNE 1999 VOLUME XXX!l/NO. 6 < f .. . . •• s,ihef!,,.mes yco~r~d byfet'tfu •ir Twenty •eteilrnC!;ntherwbrd) of hatred ials to remove their 'Ciiv- Shavuos, three days after-ithe elettiofis, for religious Jews in Israel were g~!;f(, "prove" that they were who celebrating "the end of three years of fanned by the media and the left wing their identity cards said they were. Netanyahu and religious occupation" of parties with an intensity unprecedent­ The victory by a convincing major­ their country by assembling to hear ed in the half century of Israel's exis­ ity of the candidates, cathedral music in tence. I whose platform was the Christian churches in In 1999, for the first time, the central draft of yeshiva stuJ the Ein Karem neigh­ issue of the election campaign in the Jew­ dents, coupled with the borhood of Jerusalem ish State was nothing less than Judaism electoral success of the INTERPRETING and in Arab towns. itself: for or against? Prime ministerial fanatical anti-religious An analysis of the candidate Ehud Barak made the draft of parties, justified that THE RECENT election results reveals yeshiva students the focus of his cam­ fear. The virulently that among Jews (by paign and portrayed lomdei Torah as par­ anti-religious Meretz ELECTIONS halachic standards), asites gorging themselves at the expense Party received I 0 Knes­ Barak lost. It was of"productive" sectors of society. Sever­ set seats. The almost IN ISRAEL unconverted Russians al anti-religious parties made the drive defunct Shinui party and Arabs, in unholy to "stop the Chareidim" the central put at its head media alliance with those theme of their campaign. The seatlar/left celebrity, demagogue who are battling parties all insisted that they would rati­ Tommy Lapid, and made the delegit­ against any official Jewish expression of fy a constitution, the real objective of imization of the chareidi community its the State, who gave Barak his victory. It which would be the eradication of any sole campaign issue. It went from is they who will decide upon the un-Jew­ remaining vestiges of Jewish influence on nowhere to garner six Knesset seats, far ish character of the State and the with­ the legal system of the State. beyond its wildest dreams, more even ering away of the Olam HaTorah. The The feeling among Orthodox Jews on than venerable Yahadus HaTorah, whose statement of the Vilna Gaon that the last Election Day was one of foreboding. In platform is 3000 years old. galus of Kial Yisroel would be that of a several chareidi neighborhoods, religious The media made no attempt to con­ mixed multitude (eruv rav) was always women with sheitelsand tichelswere sys- ceal its gloating over the election results. a mystery. No more.' It reported with undisguised glee the ' See Yonason Rosenblum's "The Media Battle­ jubilation of"tens of thousands;' promi­ THE POLITICAL SITUATION ground: Image vs. Essence," JO Feb. '99. nent among them unabashed moral Rabbi Klugman lives in Jerusalem where he is a deviants, whose frenzied dancing he prognosis for political stabil­ maggid shiur in a yeshiva gedola. Author of a detailed biographical study of Rabbi Samson through the night in the streets of Tel ity in Israel is murky. The weeks Raphael Hirsch (ArtScroll Mesorah}, he is a fre­ Aviv celebrating "the release of the State Tthat have passed since the elec­ quent contributor to these pages, with a bio­ from the straitjacket of religion;' was tions have shown how complicated graphical tribute to Rabbi Moshe Sherer ?~:n "unprecedented since the rejoicing things will be. In addition to the rise of (June '98), as well as "The Hebron Disaster" (April which followed the declaration of the '94) and "The Wye Agreement: A Divine Frown" i See Even Shleima and Kovetz Maamorim of (Dec. '98), State in 1947." Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, pp 90-91

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 5 the anti-religious parties and the almost total disappearance of the Greater Israel proponents as a political force, the elec­ • tions saw the 120 member Knesset splin­ lections are a vivid example of the interaction of human ter into 6 distinct groups, many of whose central tenets are anathe1na to- each Echoice and Divine direction. Every individual can vote as other. There is the secular/left who have he wishes. And yet, Hashem alone is mamlich melachim ve"lo 50 seats; the right wing with 27; Charei­ dim with 22; National Religious with 5; hamelucha. He is the ultimate kingmaker, who nonetheless Russians with 6; and the Arabs with 10. It is difficult for an objective observ­ retains sovereignty and personally controls the destiny of men er to understand how such disparate and states. For the maamin, the election results are very much groupings can provide the basis for a sta­ ble governing coalition of at least 65 (61 a Divine prescription; not merely the sum-total of the choices of is the absolute minimum) without some of the religious parties. But even several million voters. so, the bulk of the next government will be constituted of parties whose raison d'etre is the secularization oflsrael. They • intend to accomplish this by the ratifi­ maJonty. What is not clear is whether increasing portions of the population cation of a constitution enshrining he has the political will and required intensifies the antipathy for the most Israel as a secular state without Jewish votes to enact legislation granting defer­ minimal of Jewish values, and makes the character and through the atrophy of ments to /omdei Torah. His natural ultimate secularization of much of Torah Jewry by a body blow to its soul, coalition partners from the Left have no Jewish life in the Land of our Forefathers the yeshiva world. Indeed, the issue of intention of affording him the luxury. almost inevitable. the draft was almost the sole item on the But the results of the election cannot agenda in six weeks of negotiations be understood only in terms of the A DIVINE WAKE UP CALL between Barak and UT). direct threat to the Torah world. The scope is much broader. Even if legisla­ ny physical or spiritual danger to PERSPECTIVE tion is ultimately enacted to allow the the Jewish People is a Divine draft deferment of all who wish to study Awake-up call, akin to the message hat will become of the Torah Torah full time, the social forces of the Prophets. Gedola hasoras taba' as community in Eretz Yisroel? unleashed during the last several years, yoser mi'mem-ches nevi'im (The trans­ W Although the right to live as of which the elections were only the cul­ fer of Achashveirosh's ring to Haman a religious Jew has not yet been chal­ mination, will continue to influence all had greater impact on the Jews than the lenged, the bulwark of Jewish existence, of Jewish life in Israel for a long time. call of forty-eight prophets) (Megilla free and unfettered limud Ha Torah, is at The true loss is in the poisonous 14a) means in its most basic sense that risk in the Land of Israel for the first atmosphere of sinas hadas (hostility if we do not get the Divine message "mit time since Jews were jailed here for toward religion), which turns well­ guttens," through Hashem's duly Torah study in the days of Rabbi Akiva meaning Jews away from Yiddishkeitand appointed spokesmen, He will employ and Papus ben Yehudah (see Berachos which makes all attempts at kiruv more traumatic means to get His mes­ 6lb). rechokim (outreach) an uphill battle. sage across. (Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz, Although no one has yet been incar­ Widespread commercial activity on Daas Chochma U'Mussar II, p. 170.) And cerated for studying in yeshiva, draft Shabbos in shopping centers throughout as in the days of Mordechai and Esther, deferments for yeshiva students were the country increases with a vengeance. Hashem will often employ wicked peo­ abolished by the Supreme Court and, Public chillul Shabbos increases weekly ple to deliver His message. barring Knesset legislation to the con­ even in Jerusalem with its strong charei­ Any attempt to explain away the pre­ trary, will terminate automatically in six di presence, despite the near majority of sent situation in Israel as the vagaries of months. Ehud Barak has to do absolute­ religious members on the city council. the political process, the unpopularity ly nothing at all and in half-a-year, the And this increase, with few exceptions, of Netanyahu, or the "brilliant" cam­ conscription of yeshiva students will be passes with barely a whimper. Wide­ paign of Barak's American advisers a fact oflife. As of this writing, it appears spread media and public acceptance of, ignores the Divine Hand in world that Barak is inclined to renege on the even adulation for, aberrant behavior is events, and- as the Rambam warns (Hil­ central motif of his election campaign commonplace. The almost total igno­ chos Taanis 1:3) -will only result in fur­ for the sake of a comfortable governing rance of any Jewish knowledge by ther hardship.

6 The Jewish Observer, Summer 7999 It is axio1natic to every believing Jew Barak who should worry us, but the in the involvement of chareidi Jews in that although individual man has free message of Him who controls Barak. political life, and a concomitant steep will, everything that happens in this Chazal tell us that Divine punish­ growth in government support for world is part of the Divine plan (see ment is meted out midda kenegged chareidi families, educational institutions Ramban, Shemos 13). Elections are a midda, measure for measure. The rea­ and "cultural" activities. vivid example of the interaction of son for this, Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz This involvement was accompanied human choice and Divine direction. often explained, is that the purpose of by a painful and perhaps partially Every individual can vote as he wishes. punishment is correction, not retribu­ unavoidable rise in the political aware­ And yet, Hashem alone is rnarnlich tion. To facilitate that improvement, he ness of the typical chareidi Jew for whom melachirn ve'lo hamelucha. He is the ulti­ continued, it is incumbent upon man to the details of the political goings-on had mate kingrnaker, who nonetheless seek the Divine message in every hard­ hitherto been considered largely irrele­ retains sovereignty and personally con­ ship and difficulty. vant, even distasteful. The cause of this trols the destiny of men and states. For What is He trying to tell us? When it unprecedented absorption with the the maamin, the election results are very is the "due" political process that threat­ political process is the rise in the level of much a Divine prescription, not mere­ ens us, it behooves us to attempt to dis­ the political activity of the chareidi par­ ly the sum-total of the choices of sev­ cern where we erred with regard to that ties, the expanded and vivid coverage eral million voters. process. given by the chareidi dailies and week­ So it was the Divine will that made lies to every sordid detail of the politi­ Ehud Barak Prime Minister. "Hoy Ashur PITFALLS OF POLITICAL INVOLVEMENT cal scene, and the advent of the Age of shevet api," says Yishayahu (10,5), Information in society as a whole, a phe­ "u'rnateh hu beyadam zaarni." Ashur, the .th the exception of the 1992- nomenon which did not spare the threatening despot, is but a rod in the 1996 Rabin-Peres years, chareidi community. A possible outcome hands of G-d. Only the foolish dog, the W Yahadus HaTorah has been a of all this exposure to the minute details commentators explain, attempts to bite member of every Israeli government of politics could well be the perception the stick that strikes him, oblivious to since the election of Menachem Begin that all the machinations and maneu­ the fact that his problem is the master as Prime Minister in 1977. Those two vering somehow do affect the course of who brandishes that club. It is not Ehud decades have seen an unprecedented rise events. It seemed as though we really

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 7 began to believe that the political "DON'T FLAUNT IT" process is what counts. We may have come to imagine that having our rep­ • aakov Avinu's directives to his resentatives as Finance Committee ur misplaced trust in the children were intended also as Chairman and Housing Minister was O political process may well Y timeless guidelines for the Jewish our salvation. We might have thought People (Ramban, Bereishis). One of that our hishtadlus and our "connec­ have caused subtle but critical those instructions was not to flaunt suc­ tions" in government really influenced damage to the emuna peshuta cess and prosperity to one's close but events, and that our wellbeing was unsympathetic relatives and neighbors, dependent on our political influence. of every Jew, the absolute so as not to arouse jealousy and enmi­ All the above may well have caused conviction that Hashem alone ty (Rashi, Bereishis 42,1, see Maharsha, subtle but critical damage to the emuna Taanis !Ob). The Klei Yakar (Devarim peshuta of every Jew, the absolute con­ directs the course of history. 2,3) asserts that ostentation and flaunt­ viction that Hashem alone directs the And when man begins to think ing of our wellbeing are the leading course of history. And when man begins sources of the hatred to which the Jew­ to think that he is the master of his own that he is the master of his own ish People is subject, in flagrant con­ destiny, Hashem will show him the nat­ destiny, Hashem will show him travention of Yaakov Avinu's dictum to ural outcome of such an approach. avoid the public exposure of our favored Esther invited Haman to the banquet the natural outcome of such an circumstances. with Ahashveirosh, say Chazal (Megilla approach. Now, it is beyond cavil that the I Sb), precisely so that the Jews should­ media and the left-wing politicians' n't think "Achos lanu beveis hamelech," descriptions of chareidi Jewry in Israel that they have a protektzia in the gov­ • as money-grubbing parasites is noth­ ernment who will fix their problems. We activities, day-camps, weekends and a ing more than good, old-fashioned don't have an Esther to disabuse us of host of other programs that make life eas­ anti-Semitism. But Yaakov instructed that notion, so Hashem Himself teach­ ier but do not contribute directly to Torah his children not to arouse the jealousy es us the hard way. study. True, parallel programs in secu­ of the other inhabitants of Canaan Perhaps we lost sight of the fact that lar circles receive full government fund­ even though there was absolutely Torah existed in Kial Yisroel since Sinai ing, but our demands are still viewed with nothing corrupt and unfair about their without Misrad Hadatot, Misrad jaundiced eyes and are reported with pens wealth and success. Sure, the hate Hachinuch, etc., and came to believe that poisoned by cynicism. mongering of the media and the left budgetary allocations really do cause In addition, one can't have it both is unfounded. But so was the jealousy Torah to flourish in Israel. ways. There is more than a slight anom­ ofYaakov's neighbors. And still he told I once asked one of the finest and aly in the way the chareidi world cor­ his children to go down to Egypt to most devoted askonim in Israel if he rectly portrays the present State as buy food, despite all the dangers thought that the negative publicity and irreligious and as an unauthentic format inherent to the trip, to avoid that resultant chillul Hashem brought on by for Kial Yisroel in galus, yet in the same unjustified jealousy. our strident financial demands on the breath demands that that State budget It is far from clear if our casual use government was worth it. He replied in every conceivable religious project and of political clout was in keeping with the all sincerity that without government institution. That inconsistency is not lost lama tisra'u directive of Yaakov Avinu funding the great yeshivos could not con­ on even the most sympathetic secular­ who insisted that his family avoid a tinue to flourish. ist, and does nothing at all to attract him morally justifiable lifestyle if it would The sentiments he expressed were not to Torah Judaism. engender jealousy and enmity. In addi­ his alone. They reflected preposterous, Clearly, the chareidi public has no less tion, one wonders if our public posture but all too common, askonim wisdom right to its fair share of the budgetary on government financing is in conso­ in the gravy days of budget allocations, pie than any other taxpaying group of nance with the overriding requirement to whit: that Israeli government money citizens. But the rules and standards that sheyehei shem Shamayim mis' ahev al was what ensured the success of Torah guide the Torah community are not only yadcha (to inspire love for Hashem with institutions. the rights granted in a democratic our actions), and the obligation to avoid Let us be honest with ourselves. We society, but the obligations which even the appearance of Chillul Hashem, may well have overdone it It is one thing devolve upon us as members of the where perception is reality. to request money for limud Hatorah; it mamleches kohanim vegoy kadosh, and To the best of my knowledge, the is quite another to shrilly demand gov­ the age-old Jewish rules of engagement Gedolim never put on the front burn­ ernment funding for machonim (pub­ in a galus environment ... even a galus er the financial demands of the charei­ lishing houses), youth groups, cultural among Jews. di community not directly connected

8 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 with the support of the yeshivas. They t is quite in1possible for us to pre­ understand that 1orah and to put it to surely never sanctioned the sharp dict what Hashem has in store for us. use in everyday life. It was through the censure every time the funding for pro­ I Even if there will be religious mem­ application of its spiritual treasures that jects was not im1nediately forthcom­ bers in the government, and even if the Israel, even in its lowly state, was to ing. If our budgetary demands were issue of the impending draft of yeshiva acquire a blissful awareness of G-d's limited to support of the yeshivas and students is somehow resolved, the presence and a serenity which would were not accompanied by public ulti­ underlying animosity of a good portion compensate for all that which the con­ matums and shrill denunciations of the of Israel's ruling elite to Torah Judaism tempt of men had denied it." relevant government ministries every will be a fact of life for a long time to So the scorn and derision to which time there was a block in the pipeline, come. And the damage that that hatred we are subject must not in any way the jealousy and hatred would be wreaks on the fabric of Jewish life in change our conduct. To the contrary. We much diminished. Israel is inestimable. will fight for the right to learn Torah, and Is such a standard for conduct fair? But bitachon, trust in Hasheni, the endeavor to have all of our brothers and No. But we are still in galus, and our Chazon Ish explains, does not mean that sisters, one by one, see the beauty and public posture must reflect that. everything will be fine. It means rather splendor of a life of Jewish sanctity. that everything that happens is decid­ Adversity and derision will not AN IDEOLOGICAL WEAKENING ed upon by Hashem, and that His free­ induce us to compromise or pander. But dom of action is not limited in the by the same token, that derision and ani­ he natural coalition partner of slightest by any current, perceived real­ mosity grants us no license to relax the Yahadus Ha Torah for the last two ity. Kiddush Hashem imperative, the Tdecades was the Likud and its So will life for Torah Jews be easy or requirements of integrity and the galus right wing allies because of their toler­ pleasant in the Holy Land? Not neces­ sensitivities that should inform all our ance for religious life. This, in turn) sarily. Will it be good? Absolutely. actions. caused an insidious erosion of the Because He is directing it. And we must never forget that bedrock hashkafa that the Zionist/revi­ through most of the two millennia of sionist kochi ve'otzem yadi (trust in "the PERENNIAL MINORITY galus, Kial Yisroel has had it worse. Much might of my hand") ideology is no less worse. a denial of Hashem's sovereignty than is eing in the minority is a fact oflife But Lo yitosh Hashem amo venacha­ the Left's nihiyeh kechol hagoyim (con­ for the Jewish People and Torah lnso lo ya'azov- He will not abandon His forming to other nations' cultural stan­ BJewry. ((Ki attem hame'at mikol people or forsake those who study His dards). ha'amim;' Hashem told us. When Sarah heritage. The identification with the Right Imeinu declared, "Kol hashome'a He never has. contributed not only to a willingness to yitzchak Ii (Whoever hears of this will And He never will. • overlook their ideological flaws, but also laugh at me)" in response to the promise to a tendency to ignore their personal that she would bear a child, it was an infractions. The Gedolim gave us clear expression of her instinctive grasp that instructions for whom to vote, but the we will always be the laughing stock of chareidi public went a bit overboard in the world. It is the untenable reality of IN THE HEART OF llATBUSH, BROOKLYN, NY its identification with a man of ques­ our existence that is proof of Hashem's Convenient Loc.alion: Nea1 Shuls. Shopping. ~ &. Subway tionable morals. protection of us since the days of Avra­ We forgot at our peril the statement ham and Yitzchak. It is witness to His of Chazal (Sota 4 lb) of the bitter pun­ direction and control of human events, ishment we deserved for flattering an hardship and adversity not restricting unworthy leader (Agrippas), by reas­ His freedom of action. suring him that he is "our brother:' The contempt of others, writes Rabbi So now, after 22 years of delusion that S. R. Hirsch (Tehillim 123), is "the bit­ through our efforts the State of Israel terest drop in Israel's cup of sorrows. will somehow become more hospitable Israel must muster all of its spiritual ... to Judaism, the reality is that if anything, energies to maintain its self respect in Making a Slmcha? Visldng New York? it is becoming more hostile to it. The the face of this humiliation .... Israel had We are your Home away from Home! description of life in a Zionist state by to immerse itself all the more deeply into fOR RESERVATIONS t.. RATES CALL Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman in his all the profoundness of the Torah m. U.S.A. (718) 253-9535 "Omer Ani Maaseh Lamelech" (Koveitz entrusted to its care and to pray to FAX. U.S.A. (718) 253-3269 AVENUE I/ EAST ISTH STREET, BllOOKlYN Maamorim pp. 90-105) is beginning to Hashem to favor it and give it spiritual ring eerily true. talent and moral energy to be able to

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 9 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES Of Choices and Priorities: A Jewish Observer Symposium On How Women Find Their Way in Our Torah Society

Living in "interesting times" is person, and in growth in self­ juggle responsibilities, prioritize always a challenge. It can also fulfillment and realization .... and make intelligent choices. be a source of great satisfaction or cause for deep frustration. It While some of these goals are Often such choices are made on all depends on one's mind-set. complementary, many are the basis of a gradual mutually exclusive, and are understanding, or a sudden Today's tempo of rapid change, actually at war with each other. insight, an encounter with an ephemeral values, shifting Instead of emerging from the exemplary role model, schedules of hopes and crossfire wounded and feeling overhearing a chance remark or expectations has certainly made cheated, some women learn to reading an instructive article or its mark on the equanimity of the inspiring story . Torah Jew functioning within the broader society. How much more • The Jewish Observer approached so is th is the case with Orthodox he questioning is a number of women who are (or Jewish women, especially with never ending: How were) involved in any or all of the T following: raising her family, the advent of the feminist movement and its mutant: much time do I allow for pursuing a career, seeking Orthodox Feminism. my husband, what share personal growth, serving the Opportunities and expectations community, and serving Hashem, in Torah knowledge and mitzva belongs to the children, and asked each of them to share fulfillment ... in professional with our readers how she came to growth and earning power ... what do I owe my make a crucial choice or abandon house-keeping, home-building, employer, and where m a possibly damaging course. and family nurturing ... in selfless giving of resources of time and the world do I fit in? The following articles are excerpted • from the responses received . my life has proven to be far from bor­ spoon-fed with their recollections of ing; in fact, the challenging situations their own parents' greatness. We also Injectin~ the "~xtra" that I constantly find myself involved in lived with our aunt, Mrs. Leah Hess, who give me a fresh outlook and a deeper was a power-house, a living example of meaning and perspective. uncompromising devotion to Torah into the ~roinary and mitzvos. Every message, both spo­ Mrs. Blimi Birnbaum EARLY, LASTING INFLUENCES ken and unspoken, reflected the expec- Mrs. Blimi Birnbaum lives in Har Nof, Yerusha­ t would seem that if you don't have y parents, both Holocaust layim, for the last twelve years. While in Brook­ a lightning-bolt experience that survivors, brought up their lyn, NY, she taught in Bais Yaakov HS for eigh­ I inspired you back at a crucial stage, M family with stories of their teen years under Rebbetzin Kaplan. She currently you're considered at best boring, if not constant mesiras nefesh for Torah and teaches in Bnos Chava Seminary. She has a large family, i1"Yi', with her married children living in downright strange. Although I cannot mitzvos during the most horrific peri­ Yerushalayim, and sons-in-law learning. Her hus­ claim any sudden insight or encounter, od of this century. In addition, we were band is Rosh Yeshiva of Zera Yitzchok.

10 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

talion that we follow in the glorious path final push came with a phone call from of our ancestors. There was no room left school: "Please come back." for doubts as to what was important Upon moving to Eretz Yisroel, I My home was reinforced in Bais expected 1ny teaching career to come to CJ"i!lo n:i.,n:> Yaakov where my teachers were Sarah a halt due to the language barrier and CASSETTES niu?j:itll ,, •:::in:n::i Sheneirer's students - Rebbetzin lack of the necessary degree. That first Kaplan, lT)), Rebbetzin Bender, ;r')), Reb­ year of adjustment, I did just that - :i1 11,tn ''v:i o•r.i'n ,,,o,n nm1 betzin Sizner, i"1"l\ and, n"7::i.n, Rebbet­ helped my family to adjust. That sum­ '1D1'. 'v 11K' ;rK~m1:i1 ;J,"1J):J zin Wachtfogel, to mention a few. They mer, I received a phone call from the o:mn1' nK K•::im' V"1'' wnp had only to speak - without resorting principal of a newly opening seminary o'' to games, motivational ploys, or the like for American girls, inviting me to join . l"l?V '''T"IO 0'1l>N :O•l?1!b . to stimulate their lessons. Their sincer­ the staff. It was an obvious act of Hash­ ity and sense of mission was of a dif­ gacha leading me back into teaching, 972-2-6521-821 ferent generation. Rebbetzin Kaplan with new challenges and growth oppor- would be wiping her tears with the opening words of every assembly. The role of a Jewish woman, wife and mother could not have been spelled out more clearly than by hearing, seeing and absorbing their lessons. These were my role models. It was crystal clear that 1 had to be the next link in the chain of the mesora, passing on the charge of what a true Jewish woman is to the next generation, connecting the old genera­ tion with the new one - generations in time, but light years apart in mind-set. Having been involved in chinuch • habanos over the past thirty years, both in America and in Eretz Yisroel, I can only hope that I am fulfilling that charge. PRIORITIES AND CAREERS It hurts began teaching before the age of sev­ enteen. When I got 1narried, my hus­ r I band was learning in kollel, and I had to work outside of the house to help make ends meet. My one and only pref­ o. erence was to continue teaching. Obvi­ ous to me was that my husband's learn­ ing was of prime importance, and I It feels better just to talk about it. That's why we're here. Our staff is made up of would do my part in contributing to his caring and sensitive individuals. Together, efforts. When my husband began giving we can help you explore your options. We a shiur, I was expecting my ninth child, can refer you to recognized professionals for counseling, legal advice or help in and I decided to take a year off from finding a safe environment. We can also teaching and stay at home with my lit­ put you in touch with some very special tle ones, to see if! really would be a bet­ Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to you, you must first reach out to us. ter mother if I stopped working. I loved every minute of that year. Being a full­ Confidential Hotline 1 . 8 8 8. 8 8 3. 2 3 2 3 time mother felt wonderful. Yet I hesi­ (Toll Free) tated ...was it the right decision? We con­ 718.337.3700 sulted Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky, 7"llT, Do it for yourself. !NYC Area! and his answer was clear: "She should Do it for your children. ShalomTaskForce1sa501{cX3)charitableorganITTtion go back to teaching. We need her:' The

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 11 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

!unities. The seminary is on my block. II The year is such a decisive one; the girls know it and take advantage of the close­ bviously, teaching isn't for ~areer ~noices ness afforded by teachers who also serve everyone. What is as surrogate parents. O From Law School to important is to remain focused Observance ... and CHALLENGES, SELF-FULFILLMENT, on one's primary goal. My Motherhood PERSONAL GROWTH -ALL A MATTER goal has been for my husband OF GOALS Mrs. Leiba Perel Eisenberg to learn. I also love my role as ven though I've been teaching for a Jewish wife and mother. so many years, the excitement, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO Etension and, yes, nervousness II A CHASSIDIC REBBE? when I step into that new classroom the first day of the new year is still present. love my role as a Jewish wife and moth­ rowing up in an affluent and Teaching is a source of great fulfillment er. Only someone uncomfortable and well-educated community, I both as a responsibility to the klal and unaware of the depth of the Torah out­ Gnever had a second thought personally. What greater inner, true sat­ look of a woman's role searches for other about going to college. The only ques­ isfaction can there be than knowing that outlets. tion was which type of graduate school you made a meaningful difference to My advice to other women: Inject I would attend. After college, I decided someone's life? your warmth and the full force of your to get work experience before choosing Every lesson I teach further strength­ personality into your calling. Be com­ a career. During those two years of ens my ties with the Ribbono Shel Olam fortable with your position as a helper, employment, I lived at home with my and the timeless words of the Torah and sustainer and educator of your family. parents and one of my brothers. My Chazal. My Yamim Tovim are enriched And daven whole-heartedly for them. As family's values were changing, and my with extra depth and meaning. Daven­ the Brisker Rav told a father who came brother had recently become frum. I ing on behalf of those who are dear to for a beracha for his son to be a talmid learned an important lesson: I knew very me also fosters a deeper relationship chacham and yirei Shamayim, "For that little about my own religion. with Hashem. Do I ever feel "cheated;' you don't need my beracha. His being I decided that my strengths would be or as if I'm missing out? Quite the oppo­ a talmid chacham depends on how many best utilized in law, and I chose to attend site. I can never thank Hashem enough blatt Gemora you will learn, and his Boston University School of Law. Before for all that He has given me. becoming G-d-fearing depends on how Obviously, teaching isn't for every­ many tears his mother will shed pray­ Mrs. Eisenberg, who lives in Brooklyn with her one. What is important is to remain ing for him." What greater calling can husband and son, serves as a New York State focused on one's primary goal. My goal a woman respond to? • Administrative Law Judge in Manhattan. has been for my husband to learn. I also

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12 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

I left, a Rabbi suggested that I try to con­ '1,~6~::y tact the Bostoner Rebbe N"P''n>, but he gave me no phone number. I realized that he did not know the Rebbe per­ lfyou~.. «h•yowrtnfant sonally. A foreigner to the heimishe com­ munity, I felt disappointed; how could or toddler has dlfflculty'11ith ... I ask to meet someone based on a rec­ ommendation from a stranger? II1 Communication During my first year of law school, I II1 Listening/Speaking skills realized that, although I was not "reli­ gious;' my values had changed, and I no II1 Physical· developmenVCoordination longer felt a part of the secular com­ munity. A fellow student who was II1 Play skills/Living Skills i.e. eating, dressing Orthodox invited me to a Shabbos seuda, where another law student who We can help! knew the Bostoner Rebbe was a guest. I thought I had finally found my con­ Early nection to meet the Rebbe. However, he Intervention told me that you can't have an audience Program with the Rebbe "unless you have some­ [IJNE~~~~::. thing very important to saY:' I was quite ® confident that I had nothing important to say and felt as though I would never Netcare's team of evaluators and therapists can make a difference. meet him. The discomfort of feeling that They are specially trained to provide children with the opportunity I was sitting on a fence between the sec­ to develop their full potential and to help you further promote their ular and religious worlds n1oved me to development. attend a summer kiruv progra1n in Israel, and I got off the fence on the reli­ An services are free of charge and available at the child's home gious side. or day care center throughout NYC & Westchester. When I returned to Boston for my Weekdays, Sundays, Daytime & Evening Hours. second year, I joined a Shabbos shiur for cl' Evaluations in your language '!: Special Instruction women given by Mrs. Fishman in the Bostoner shul- virtually my only con­ :.=: Speech/Language Therapy :..:..: Parent Training nection to Torah and the highlight of my :.!: Occupational & Physical Therapy ...:.J Psychological Counseling week. One Shabbos, Mrs. Fishman ::! Service Coordination & Social Work Services ... and more announced that she would be out of town the following Shabbos. Her uplift­ Joseph Geliebter, Ph.D. Leah Schlager, M.A. ing words inspired me a whole week; Executive Director Director of Placement how could I go without them? I called Netcare, Inc. is a participating agency of Comprehensive Hetwork founded in 1985 up the Boston er shul to ask if they could recommend a different shiur. The Gab­ bai answered and asked my name. I told 191 NETCA~INC. him. He whispered something and then IA.I Where caring starts sM said, "The Rebbe has been waiting to ® meet you." Following the morning davening of 718-339-2971 that long-awaited Shabbos, I was sched­ 718-339-5900 uled to speak with the Rebbe before the Fa"' 718-339-8433 seuda. I confided in a Chassidishe lady, 1675 E.16th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11229 "I know that you're only supposed to Funded and regulated by the New York State speak to the Rebbe if you have something Department of Health. In New York City by the New York City Department of Mental important to say. I have nothing impor­ Health, Mental Retardation and Alcoholism tant to say." She told me to ask for a Services and in Westchester by the County beracha. Department of Health. The Rebbe greeted me in his office,

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 13 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

and asked me what he could do for me. should be incorporating Torah into my New York City, where the hours were Relieved that I knew what to say, I asked life, not dropping out of it. known to be better and the salary less. for a beracha. The Rebbe asked what The Rebbe advised me to continue The desire for personal growth out­ beracha. I sank. I fumbled around for with my studies; I had made the right weighed the difference in income. words, and the Rebbe gave me that choice. A weight came off my shoulders. The firm arranged classy evening beracha. But then the Rebbe gave me I wanted so much to fulfill Hashem's social events for the summer associates, another beracha, one I did not ask for. will, and the Rebbe made me feel that I where attendance was discreetly taken In the second beracha, the Rebbe used was on the right course. In just a few and expected. I tried to attend what I the exact words that I would say every days, the Rebbe would be making his could without compromising any night before going to sleep as I would yearly return to Har Nof, Yerushalayim. Torah. It was walking a tight rope. Could make my heartfelt request to Hashem. I thought that I would never have the I survive spiritually in such an envi­ I am sure my mouth dropped. privilege of speaking to the Rebbe again, ronment? The Rebbe asked me questions about but the Rebbe reassured me otherwise. Back in Boston for my third year of myself, and I poured out my heart to law school, I spent a great deal of time him: I was not sure if I belonged in law TOUGH CHOICES IN THE LEGAL SCENE attending shiurim and reading. I knew school. On the kiruv program in Israel, that some potential shidduchim were many of the Rabbis and teachers had arly in my second year, around turned off by the idea of my becoming spoken to me about staying in Israel and October, when I was just begin­ a practicing attorney. Was it important had advised me not to return to law Ening my mitzva observance, I for me to avoid a career that might limit school that year. Moreover, I recognized began receiving offers to be a summer my shidduchim opportunities? The certain qualities of greatness in people associate at some prestigious law firms. Rebbe assured me that whoever is the I met in Israel, and wanted to be In the process of becoming more obser­ right one for me would be happy that around such people in order to incor­ vant, I came to understand that personal I am a lawyer. However, I was still deal­ porate their good qualities into myself. growth takes time and effort. I therefore ing with an inner struggle. On the one I told the Rebbe how I felt - that I chose a prestigious law firm outside of hand, I wanted to get married, and felt pressure from shidduchim to choose a government job with regular hours immediately upon graduation. On the other hand, I was attending a highly­ ranked law school and had done well academically. I wanted to reap the The HEBREW-ENGLISH Word Processor rewards of that accomplishment and •Over 200 Hebrew fonts work in a high paying, albeit more •Automatic nikud (vowels) demanding position. My feelings were turbulent. •Footnotes After law school, I relocated to •Spell-check & Translate in Brooklyn and started looking for a job. 7 languages including Once again, I consulted the Rebbe, and Hebrew & English' he indicated that because I ask work­ • 1OO's of photos of Israel related she' eilos and was committed to Torah observance, I had the potential to •Clipart Gallery, Bible Maps practice law properly as a woman rep­ •Templates Greeting Cards, resentative of the Chareidi community, Forms .. and thereby to make a kiddush Hashem. •Full Tanach with vowels I didn't entirely understand it, but I fol­ lowed the Rebbe's eitza (counsel). •Full Siddur. Ashkenaz & Just at that time, I received an offer Sefard for a government job based on an exam • Y2K, Win 9519812000/NT I had taken before starting my first job. •Much morel/I After consulting the Rebbe, I accepted this position. It allowed me to work independently, avoiding a need to work closely with men, and there were no socializing requirements. Also, the work did not require me to engage in com-

14 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 Qp CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

shana rishona (the first year of married Hodu laHashem ki tov. Before shana life). We also hoped that if and when rishona had ended, we were blessed with • Hashem blesses us with children, I our son. Nothing had changed our s a single woman would be a mommy at home. As a sin­ desire that I should be a mommy at who hod longed for gle woman who had longed for the home. I knew, however, that every day A opportunity to build a bayis ne' eman, I of my husband's learning was adding to the opportunity to build a had felt dismayed when I would hear the beauty of Torah in our home, and mothers saying that their office job was I wanted him to continue. The two ideals boyis ne'eman, I hod felt a break from the more difficult work at conflicted. home. I viewed the opportunity to We called the Rebbe for his eitza. The dismayed when I would observe Torah as a wife and mother as Rebbe advised us that during the first hear mothers saying that a gift from Hashem to be treasured, and year of our son's life, the additional year the work of caring for my family's needs of kollel would be of greater benefit to their office job was a as a sweet avoda. him than my staying home full time. break from the more difficult work at home. I viewed the opportunity to observe Torah as a wife and mother as a gift from Hashem to be treasured, Book a B category car in Israel and get a free double upgrade and the work of coring for to a Diesel car in category D, saving up to 70% of your refueling costs. my family's needs as a For further details and reservations please contact: Budget Israel Fax: 972-3-'389992 sweet avoda. Email: [email protected] USA: 800-4723325 Canada: 800-2688900 • Offer is valid till June 30th '99 excluding 22.3-11.4.99 bative conduct, which I feared could *Based on minimum 7 days rental of car category A, excluding insurance. Quote tarfff code OHi. have a negative effect on my middos. The assignments could be carried out effec­ tively without compromising any You can! Just: call halacha. The accommodations made for The Yitti Leibel Shabbosobservance allowed me to leave ''r wish I could early and still cover a work load equal Helpline. to that of my colleagues. For Chol HOURS: Hamoed, I was allowed to take leave speak to a Monday-Friday ...... 8am -12pm without pay or use vacation accruals. Monday-Thursday ...... 8pm -1 lpm Moreover, part-time was allowed. I Sunday ...... 9am -12pm, 9pm -1 lpm Extra hours Sat. night...... 7pm - 9pm wasn't married at the time, but I knew frum therapist that one day, part-time could be a very 718-HELP.,NOW valuable option. I had found my place. (718)435-7669 on the phone I. Chicago ...... (800) HELP-023 WORKING WIFE, LEARNING HUSBAND Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 Cleveland ...... (888) 209-8079 ruch Hashen1, after what seemed without giving ' Baltimore ...... (410) 578-1111 Morris, Union, Essex & Middlesex ke a long and difficult search, I counties in NJ ...... ,...... (877) 4-LEIBEL married my husband. Although H my name.'' For addiction problems call our addiction he had been working at the time, we therapist, Wednesdays 11 :30pm to l :30am both wanted him to learn in kollel for

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 15 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

Therefore, when I contacted my division At the time, my children were all young. chief a few months after giving birth ]Jays often passed in a constant whirlwind about returning to work, I asked for a ~ncounters Tnat Ma~e of unending activity. I rarely felt that I had part-time schedule of a three-day week: quite caught up to myself, because I hadn't. two days in the office, one day of That particular afternoon was no different telecommuting. He was willing to a~iITerence than many others. I had to occupy the chil­ acco1nmodate my request. Mrs. Tziporah Heller dren constructively in order to "accomplish Each day of our son's new life gave anything" in the house. The house had to be us reason for rejoicing. The pleasure of straightened out more or less constantly. I being a parent is a simcha like no other, LEARNING TO LIVE WITH THE MOMENT was prisoner of the food chain; dinner had and I did not want to miss a moment. to begin as just as lunch's imprint faded. We called the Rebbe again and asked him hank G-d, most of us live lives My mother lived next door to me at the if it would be better that I stay home and that are blessedly absent of high time. She was a woman whose life had my husband remain in kollel as long as Tdrama. The opportunity to make always been ordered. Her silent immaculate our savings would allow. The Rebbe choices in which the eternal conse­ home, furnished in the style ofthe fifties, had opened my eyes to the exceptional gift quences are emotionally apparent are the feel of being another planet. This par­ that Hashem had given me in my divi­ not on the agenda. We therefore tend to ticular afternoon, she had volunteered to sion chief's willingness to accommodate not recognize that we are constantly watch the baby. When I came to get him in a part-time schedule. He told me that redefining who we are, and what we are the late afternoon, I found them in absolute a gift is meant to be utilized. As soon as doing. The first step in taking charge of ecstasy with each other's con1pany. She was I found an acceptable babysitter, I one's time and creating new priorities putting mini-spoonfuls ofstrained fruit into returned to work. comes as a result of becoming more his mouth, shaving the remnants offhis chin The adjustment was not easy. I did aware. One of the few moments in my as she sang to him tunelessly and told him

~~-- --~-~-~-·---- not want my job to intrude on what I life that forced open a window to life's Mrs. Heller - a popular teacher, lecturer and gave to my husband and son. I remained pleasures that I had firmly closed took author - lives in Jerusalem, where she is on the committed to nursing my baby and to place about twenty years ago. faculty of Neve Yerushalayiin College for Women. preparing nourishing home-cooked meals and special foods for Shabbos. At the same time, I was committed to pro­ viding quality work in the office. Every­ thing has a cost. Keeping one's priori­ ties straight is not a simple task. I heard from Rebbetzin Shayna Frankel, referring -,5e to the book Rav Simcha Speaks, that the formula for raising children is to focus ...... -- on their needs, not our own, to the best !!:!!\~ n~;; s-- n~·s ...... n of our ability. It is my hope that I will 1'P-=~ ,. _J; ,. - 1 be able, with the indispensable help of eitzos tovos, to keep my priorities prop­ :'"l"li'\';'i ~.,.," .,~.,=") i:i erly focused. • .,.,~., i""C"l~'"I i~~ :i"l"l~~ ':"'\i"\i:=. ':"'\~·,n:"I ~'"'l"C~ "\:=. l:l"''l:i'"''~ ()I~ i""C"'~"\ ,~~ Tl"'"~~ ~ =.,~.,., <:<> N ,.1"11\ l:lTI"'"'~~'-, i'"''Cll':"'\.., i"\'C~"\ iT\"\~ "Tl~"\ ...... What can you keep on your Rabbi Hillel Litwack desk & tabletop to help you 381 E. 8th St. control your anger? The new book/sefer Brooklyn, NY 11218 "Guard Your Anger" Tel.:718-856-6671 from Targum/Feldheim or Box 82 Staten Island, NY 10309

16 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 Qp CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

stories that were far beyond his under­ Yerushalmi telling a story, she replied by issues such as honesty with Hashem and standing. He responded by s1niling and recounting an episode in her own life. VVhat with others, sensitivity, and personal refine~ "answering" her. They were both very made it unique was the degree to which it 1nent 1vere investments that she found wor­ much living in the nzornent. She was not encapsulated her sense of priority. thy of her time and emotional commitment. feeding him to free her time for the next One of her children, in a moment of "assignn1ent." eleven-year-old insanity, went up to the roof SEPARATING THE IMPORTANT FROM The quality of the moment was not of their two-room home in Shaarei Chessed THE URGENT compromised by the future. It took her and found the solar heater to be an object no longer to feed him than it would have that captured his interest. He somehow dis­ ne of the obstacles ofliving a life taken me to do the same. I was forced lodged it, plunging it to the street in seconds, in which time is devoted to that into recognizing that I had made choic­ causing it to break into shards and discharge 0 which is truly enduring, and es that put me at odds with the quality streams of hot water. No one was hurt, but therefore important, is the confusion of my life and that of my children's. It the material damage was far from incon­ that we have in differentiating between does not take more time to "be there"; siderable. As the Rebbitzen looked out the what is urgent and what is important. it takes more love, and more awareness. window, she realized that this n1oment was There are many activities that must be My mother taught me both, and a cor­ one in which her true caliber was being test­ done within a specific time frame, or else ner was turned. ed. She asked herself one question; "Will he they cannot be done at all. For instance There are few times in which one is do this when he is thirty?" The answer, of one must turn over an omelet when it, actively aware of turning a corner with­ course, is that he will not. Therefore, she con­ rather than you, are ready. When I out finding a sharp contrast between cluded, this was not an incident that endeavored to reorganize my priorities, where one has already been and where deserves a great deal of emotional invest­ I was stuck. Urgency defeated impor­ one finds oneself at present. The con­ ment. There had to be a cleanup and a tance again and again. Although I had trast between that afternoon and the repayment plan, but neither had to be taught myself to see beauty in simplic­ next one was delicate and, indeed, accompanied by the level of time con1mit­ ity, balance is not easy to come by. invisible to the outside eye. My inner eye, ment that would be called for had this been One of the greatest gifts that I have however, began to observe more than I a behavior that could endure. Dealing with received from the world of twentieth had ever expected to see. This led me in the course of time to questioning not only the quality of my usage of time, but my choices of priority, as well. When we have not defined our pri­ orities with realism and spiritual insight, we feel trapped. The need to "be some­ where else" is a constant companion. There are few avenues of pursuit that are more futile than the endeavor to live in a moment other than the one at hand.

ASSIGNING IMPORTANCE TO AN ISSUE

hen determining goals, it is not always easy to be honest W about what is "important)) and what is not. Among the questions that one can learn to ask is: "How long will this matter?" This I learned from the following incident: My daughter attended a wedding in which she found herselffortunate enough to sit next to one of the venerable Rebbitzens ofthe old school. Rebbitzen Z.'s eighteen chil­ dren had all reached adulthood. Each one of them is a person of masterful achievement. My daughter asked her for the secret of her success. With the zest that typifies a

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 17 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

century [rum literature are the books FIRST PRIORITY - Akeres HaBayis, by Chaya Sara Radcliffe, HASHEM'S COMMAND i ~ifficulty and It's All About Time, by Chaya Levine. By presenting the methodolo­ bviously, the obligations that gy of time management they have Hashem has set before us in the changed lives. By putting the "urgent" 0 1brab, are our first priority. ~ecomes a~lessin~ and "demanding" issues in a place Fearing Him and loving Him, cleaving to Mrs. Leah Horowitz where they occupy mini1num space, Him, loving our fellow Jew are not just there is far more room for the genuinely nice options for a better life; they are life's any of us are torn between our significant parts of our capacities to use priorities. Keeping the mitzvoswith pre­ desire to teach young Jewish our potentials to flourish. cision and alacrity is more than a long­ M women, to share our knowl­ Women especially find that con· term goal, it is a short -term goal as well. edge with them, and to devote ourselves temporary living tears them into many There are mitzvos that can only be done fully to our own children. Usually, the pieces. A piece belongs to their families, by you. Only you can build your family, need for extra income is the determin­ another to their aging parents, anoth· only you can use your abilities. They must ing factor in making the crucial decision. er to the career com1nitments that they be given higher priority than those that Looking back at my own struggles, I see have made. The decision to work out· can be handled by others. As women, we the whole story as one long miracle - side the home is no longer, by and large, live in the world of divrei reshus - mat· not only that Baruch Hashem "I made one in which the desire for luxury is the ters that we ourselves have authority to it;' and "survived" with the help of motivating force. Regardless of the define. We must take responsibility for the Hashem, but more - the very difficul­ underlying reasons, having n1any roles direction that our lives take. ties turned out to be a blessing ... does not make prioritizing easier. In We can learn to ruthlessly clean our You can be sure that it was hard run­ Shaar HaSimcha, the Orchos Tzad­ lives of activities that don't fit into our ning off to school early in the morning, dikim tells us that a person who has genuine plans. We can spend more on getting there breathlessly after dropping trust in Hashem will be able to recog­ technology that frees time (efficient the kids off at the babysitter's, among nize that it is He who provides us with kitchen equipment) and less on items other chores. Yet, once I arrived there, the challenges that force us into re­ that feel good at the moment, but clut· teaching gave my day a beautiful balance; defining our priorities. We can set goals ter our lives. We can use the basic meth­ when I returned home, I couldn't resist for ourselves, but they are only valid ods of time management to bring us hugging and kissing my zisse kinderlach. when they reflect our true submission order. Time management, by the way, I wonder if 1 would have felt like doing to Hashem's will. does not mean heartless imposition of that at 2 pm, after having spent the entire When we have maximized our schedules. What it means is noticing the morning with them at home .... efforts to set our priorities straight, He precariousness of the moment and The structure that teaching imposes must determine the direction that we using it well. We can become simpler, on me is also a positive factor: After hav­ take. \!\Then we examine our lives on and take delight in the ebb and flow of ing been up a whole night with a these terms, priorities are often easier life. We can bring Hashem into the pic­ cranky child, I start the morning feeling to define. ture and know true si1ncha. • like a shmatteh. At that point, I would have much preferred to stay home; it would have been "easier." But I would IT IS WITH GREAT Digest of Meforshim HAKAROS HATOV TO HASHEM have continued to feel like a water-soaked THAT WE ANNOUNCE ')v1p7 in::i ')v1p7 rag .... In the classroom, I had to project 7··llr ivv7N 7N10w i"rrmr.i the image of brimming with energy and excitement. I was forced to be put on a Rabbi Yaakov Feitman .A:oailahlc at performance - and by the time I came fornierly from Cleveland LEKUTEI back home from teaching, I had forgot· clo Yit:chok Rosenherg ten about the night before ... I was still HAS ACCEPTED THE POSITION JO West 47th Street, Roon1 503 AS RAV OF OUR SHUL New York, NY 10036 perking with self-induced energy. True, (212) 719-1717 I did not have much choice - but slow­ Kehillas Bais Yehuda Tzvi 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, ly I came to realize that, had I been grant· of Cedarhurst Megilos and Talmud. ed an insight into how well my divided Proceeds of sales distributed a1nong (THE RED SHUL) day would work out, this course would Yeshivos and used for reprinting of probably have been mine by choice! 391 Oakland Avenue volun1es out-of-print Mrs. Horowitz teaches Shir Hashiriln in Sen1i­ Cedarhurst, New York 11516 PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME nar I:Moros Bais Yaakov in Brooklyn, the flag· 5 l 6-374-9293 Pirkei Avos available ship sen1inary in America.

18 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

If I ever did feel guilty leaving my kids ground. lt can be a challenge for those at home, I only had to pass a busy gir1s who are very vibrant to put their pas­ avenue on my way ho1ne fron1 school Intellectual ~rowt~ an~ sive role in perspective; learning to focus and see carriages with crying babies on on the subtleties of what internal devel­ the sidewalk while mothers were shop­ opment means is a little bit difficult for ping in stores, oblivious to their chil­ t~e Woman's ~ole teenagers. They get so very caught up in dren's cries. The mothers were not work­ Mrs. Yael Kaisman trying to realize all the potential that they ing. Were their kids perforce better off? have, and are not sure of how to apply this Still the guilt lingered - am I doing right ike most women who grew up in when they are restrained. for the kids? I took pains to select good, the 60's, I too was somewhat The most important factor in keep­ kind, Yiddishe babysitters. These women Laffected by the unrest and the ing my thinking clear was a sense of also enjoyed a healthy structuring of striving for change that characterized respect and value that I have always their tin1e and effort: They never cared that era. Baruch Hashent, coming from received from my father. Since my par­ for my children for more than half a day a very secure, frum home, where poli­ ents were blessed with sons, I was never at a time, and usually not more than cy and values were clearly thought-out, burdened by my father having need to three or four times a week. I was protected from any kind of seri­ develop his daughter intellectually on par As for myself, I was constantly ous consequences fro1n the prevailing with his own achievements. And yet, he fatigued, and often wondered: Don't the Zeitgeist. Whether it was a result of my sent 1ne the message that if that's where children (and I) deserve better? So every probing, assertive personality, or a mat­ my interests lie, then I could go ahead and summer I put myself to the test. No teach­ ter of when I was growing up, the issue develop them. It was never an ambiva­ ing for two months! Yet by 6 p.m., I would of women's role in a Torah society was lent message. It was tlms always clear to fall from my feet - literally collapse - as definitely something we thought about. me that whatever one's kochos- one's nat­ exhausted as, maybe even more than, I felt The girls I currently teach and speak ural gifts - even intellectual ones - they within the day structured half outside of to admit that there are occasions when should be used for avodas Hashem. The home, half at home. That's when I knew they might wonder about their specific overriding clarity of the fact that men had that for me, tending babies the entire day role or are bothered by it, occasions that a specific mission in life, while women would drain me much more. My divid­ were issues for me, too. On Sin1cha'i Torah had a distinct mission of their own, never ed day, with a variety of involvements and and Purim, for example, the men have all allowed the encouragement that I activities, helped 1ne maintain a balance the excitement while we are in the back- received to confuse the issue. for a better me and a happier family. • In stark contrast, I have heard some Mrs. Yael Kaisman and her husband (Rabbi men employ language that was less than Chaim) live in Lakewood, NJ with their fan1ily of eight children. Both teach in Elizabeth, NJ - respectful of women: in effect, that they he in the Rav1Citz Mesi\1a Academy, she in Bruri­ should not bother their little heads with ah High School for Girls -for over 20 years, and this or that type of abstract concept. are actively engaged in kiruv/outreach. Now, I am the first to confess that

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------"···----"·------The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 19 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

women tend to let their minds take flight, the way: "For he will command his chil­ if you will, and this applies fully to me. T~e ~ance is My ~wn dren and household after him, to keep Nonetheless, I do not believe that this the way of Hashem." Hashem chose precludes earning respect for our capac­ Mrs. Debby Miller Avraham Avinu not because of Avra­ ity to think about things, to absorb and ham's business success, professional learn information, and to derive pleasure "Cheshire-Puss," she began rather degrees, or even his Torah learning and from realizing that prospect. Perhaps timidly ... kiruvwork, but because Avraham would accepting women's capacity to think is "Would you tell me please, which commit himself to passing on to his chil­ a critical factor for men who are involved way I ought to go from here?" dren the Way of Hashem. Is this not the in Jewish education, but it certainly is not "That depends a great deal on clearest of messages as to what our own cause for men to be frightened. After all, where you want to go," said the Cat. priorities should be? women by nature want to be married to "I don't care where;' said Alice. Of course, in real life people do not men who are strong, who set their fam­ "Then it doesn't matter which way choose their path by reading a textbook, ilies' goals, and look forward to having you go," said the Cat. not even a Torah text. As Ruth said to children and nurturing them. Should ALICE IN WONDERLAND Naomi, "Wherever you go, I will go ... they express any desire for development your people are my people, your G-d, in intellectual spheres, it merely reflects ontemporary society gives us so my G-d." It is the role model, the men­ how their particular avodas Hashem is many choices, so many life­ tor who makes the text come alive by going to be played out. In my experience, Cpaths to select from, but without example, the Naomi who inspires a Ruth fear of women becoming too absorbed Divine guidance, we have no way of to want to become like her. in abstract thought should not be a judging the value of any particular I was (and am still) very blessed to ~ajar consideration in the Bais Yaakov choice, or whether it makes a difference have had my mother, '>nn, as my model, world. It's not a worrisome thing for that we choose at all. But we Jews know passing on the lessons she learned from someone to pursue her interest in such Mrs. Debbie Miller lives in Pittsburgh with her my grandmother ;rv. My mother grew areas, as long as it is in the context of her husband, Rabbi Yisroel Miller, and their fa1nily. up in a small town in England, at a time over-riding, ultimate goals. • He serves as Rav of Congregation Poale Zedeck. when it was self-evident that only the family could keep Yiddishkeit alive and vibrant. When her older sister married a young talmid chacham in the 1930's and became only "the third sheitel in England;' instead of an uncomfortable loneliness, there was the aristocrat's sense of family honor and pride. ibOOtS: I grew up in Glasgow, Scotland, where Cor)1aratir1ilenfify my father 7"1 was Rav of an 800-fami­ Photography ly kehilla. There was no Jewish day­ Copywriting Direct Mail school in those days (even Gateshead, Annual Reports Packaging where we moved when I was twelve, had Presentatifm Folders Postcards no Jewish middle-school), and as for Color/B&WPrinting Posters peers: only eight of my twenty four pub­ lic school classmates were Jews, and Pertectina vour 1maae those eight were all boys! My mother was a busy Rebbetzin who could have spent is •r eonom Line her days in teaching and klal work- but instead, she was always a wife and moth­ Todav, therightimage is everything. We, at Bottom Line Design, have been er, first and foremost. successfully enhancing the image of our full spectrum ofsatisfied clients since Today's Torah society is vigorous and 1992. Our devotion to creativity, accuracy and honestv continues to be the self-confident, but the influence of the hallmark ofonr company. Relv on Bottom Line Design to make your image street is still with us, and in ways far work for you. Call today for samples of our work and discover how our designs more corrosive than in the past. The can enhance your bottom line! home must be the place of refuge, a fortress against a cold and crazy world; Yitzchok Saftlas, President/Art Director and it is the wife and mother who has 1577 01ney Island Avenue, Brookly11, :NY 11230 the mission to hold the fort. 718.37l4587 I learned from my mother that there

20 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES • hat I saw from my mother Restlessness or W is that family-building is an honor, no sacrifice at all. fulfillment at Home1 Mrs. Hannah Parnes 1537 50th Street, • am of the generation for whom the Brooklyn, NY 11219 is no such thing as "quality-time." No only higher degree to be achieved for (718) 854-2911 one can schedule when a child will need I a woman was an MRS. Only women a parent to offer encouragement or set who were not fortunate enough to limits or share a magic moment or just marry and have children were forced to provide the comfort of her presence in find opportunities to support themselves the next room. It is vital for a child to and find a second-choice way of filling hear that "I'm always there for you"; but their lives productively. the words ring hollow if the parent is so In the frum world, teaching was basi­ often away from home. cally the accepted path for woman. It combined a lbrah-consistent environ­ oes the sacrifice of putting her ment and a meaningful way to help sup­ family first make a woman feel port the family. It was assumed that since Ddeprived? I wouldn't know - motherhood was the ultimate ideal, hav­ what I saw from my mother is that fam­ ing children and teaching would supply ily-building is an honor, no sacrifice at the perfect fulfillment for a mother. all. For many women of my generation, Of course it takes hard work, as does this was never an issue because they felt any worthwhile achievement. And yes, fulfilled by mothering and its con­ one is not guaranteed success, as is true comitant addenda. The notion that for of so much else in life, which is perhaps many won1en this might not be a solu­ why the Torah tells of the problem chil­ tion has recently begun to be addressed. MEHL CATERERS dren of Avraham and Yitzchak Avinu, so I was one of those women who felt that we should not feel alone. But I somewhat guilty and mystified by my Is Pleased To learned from my family to appreciate restlessness despite the fact that I was what I later heard that the Chofetz happily married and had 11"Vj7 seven Announce Chaim 'n had said about the master wonderful children. I had an ideal Tal­ That We Are mechanech, the Alter from Slabodka: mud Torah job that allowed me to be "Son1e create sefarim, but he creates home with my children until 3 p.m. Accepting Bookings hu1nan beings!" when my husband came home from Who would trade that achievement teaching and he could bond with the For Your Simchas for anything else? children and serve dinner. I ask you, Family-building means that the could it have been better?! #:===== whole day is spent on important tasks. I felt so ashamed of my restlessness ... Even when I take out time to relax Why wasn't this enough? Thank G-d, we Terrace On The Park (when else will I read my JO?), as I am were poor. l had an excuse. Our children Mehl Caterers stirring my tea with milk, I recall what were growing out of proportion to our Rabbi Elya Lopian's Rebbeitzin said financial growth and we were trapped Niw Award W111ning Chefs Fealuring Nouvelle Cuisin1 when she took her rest: 'Tm making a in a Bronx tenen1ent. I was forced to Wah TraditWnal lhstes new mummy" (heard from her daugh­ bring in some more money and I had Now Availabl&Wilh Largest Dance Floor In N.V.C. ter-in-law, Rebbetzin Tzippa Lopian to figure out what I wanted to be when Omk our 15th Annivmary Sp

The Jewish Observer; Summer 1999 21 Qp CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

perhaps replaced by guilt - which also translates, "Do not say that I will study had to be dealt with. That's for anoth­ when I find the time, for shema lo er time. ~ life of ~to Ien sifaneh, perhaps you belong to the cat­ egory of Kial Yisroel labeled lo LESSONS FROM MY STRUGGLES sifaneh:' Perhaps you are destined to Moments never have the time. It may be that hy do I want to share my per­ Mrs. Rivky Posner what G-d is demanding of you is not sonal odyssey? I think that days and years, but rather precious W some of my struggles high­ ''.Al tomar lech'sh'efneh eshneh, moments stolen from your numerous light issues that have not always been shema lo sifaneh." other obligations. openly addressed in our world. Most It seems like just yesterday that I write this as a woman who is not frum women today will probably have was a teenager listening to my six-year­ obligated to study Torah lishma. Yet to work. Should they be burdened with old brother repeating a d'var Torah at ! the words of this Mishna speak as guilt and disapproval if they choose an the Shabbos table. He began with the directly to me - a frum, working moth­ alternative means of earning a living and Mishna cited above, translated, "Do er - as they do to my frum male coun­ find other occupations that would pro­ not say that when I find time I will terpart. Allow me to explain. The fem­ vide them with financial and emotion­ study Torah, for perhaps you will never inist movement - and, I may add, al satisfaction? find the time." He then continued, economics and kollellife - have all con­ There is no doubt that teaching is the repeating his Rebbi's interpretation: tributed to making my life very com­ ideal solution for those who are Hashem, he explained, has chosen all plicated. In the not-so-distant past, a inspired, even if it is not financially of Kial Yisroel as His servants. How­ young Jewish mother had her life clear­ lucrative. But what of those young ever, He has divided His People into ly mapped out for her. She had a women who do not want to teach, or two distinct groups. Some will be priv­ home, husband, and child, which con­ cannot, or who feel the need to be able ileged to name Torah study as their stituted the center of her life: physical­ to earn a respectable salary in another primary occupation. Others are des­ ly, spiritually, and emotionally. There­ arena - what do we say to them? We tined to pursue Torah in a part-time in were her talents and efforts invested. need to respect and support women's fashion, juggling the burdens of par­ There was no thought nor need to look individual differences. nassa, family, and various outside outside of this turf. Since the reality is that most frum pressures, all the while struggling to Upon the birth of my bechor (first­ women will have to work, giving them maintain Torah as their lives' focal born son), I encountered a very differ­ options outside of teaching will require point. It is to the latter group that this ent scenario. My husband was a kollel tremendous guidance through high Mishna is directed. The Mishna then yungerman and it was my salary that was to pay the bills. If I am to be honest, school and beyond - guidance in Mrs. Rivky Posner, mother of seven, serves as understanding the not-so-subtle seduc­ office n1anager for a pharmaceutical company in however, I must admit that although my tions of success in the workplace, and Brooklyn. decision to become a working mother still be able to maintain one's priorities! This situation mandates our community to come up with creative solutions that in no way undermines the vision of"Kol kevuda bas melech penina - Women's glory and ultimate fulfillment is with­ in the walls of her home." •

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22 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

years (and six children rn.9) of my mar­ ried life. But life is a complicated mat­ Nature, Nurture, • ter. I found myself becoming the living o though I continue to embodiment of" lo sifaneh." My life was counted not in years or days, but in work !now strictly due to S n1oments ... stolen moments. an~ free Will financial necessity), my The Road to Self-Realization priorities are ever so MATURATION BY EVOLUTION gradually falling into place. ow, finally, to respond to the ques­ Rebbetzin Paige Twersky For self-fulfillment, pride and tion. What was the motivation hile the nature/ nurture con­ N that changed my self-percep­ troversy rages on unabated in nachos, my family takes first tion/ my lifestyle? I cannot honestly point W psychological circles, Jewish place. Work doesn't even my finger at one particular encounter or thought insists that a third, pre-eminent one definitive lifestyle decision. My dimension occupies the most critical make a close second. lifestyle changes have evolved as I role in directing our personal destiny, matured and grew, and it was not the a factor called bechira, free will and major decisions that have helped me choice. We have nothing to say about • grow. Instead it is the daily progression our genetic makeup, and equally little was strictly financial in nature, that of minor quandaries that nearly drive me to say about the ways in which our par­ which energized me was an emotional to distraction. Do I tell my boss that I'll ents choose to raise us, but each of us motivation. Enter the feminist move­ stay late, and ask a neighbor to take my has the opportunity to take complete ment. Despite being a sheltered Bais son off the bus, or do I put my foot down ownership of our will and make tbe Yaakov girl, the secular world's influence because my three-year-old comes first? appropriate choices. Recognition of had steadily if not obviously penetrat­ The fact is clear. A moment given to one the potential of our G-d-given ed. So, indeed, there was an ever-so-sub­ cause is doubtlessly stolen from another. resources as well as of our innate tle voice nagging in the back of my Time, a precious commodity for all of us, shortco1nings provide the raw materi­ mind, reminding me of the talents I becomes a forbidden luxury to a frum al for the expression of this factor. would be wasting if I did not return to working mother. The questioning is Some reminiscences may prove work. The voice relentlessly continued never ending: How much time do I allow helpful in illustrating the interplay by questioning if I truly wanted to for my husband, what share belongs to the between these three elements - exchange the challenge and stimulation children, what do I owe my employer, and nature/nurture/free-will - and enable that is part and parcel of working life for where in the world do I fit in? us to heighten our consciousness crying babies and dirty diapers. With Ironically, it is my children who have about characteristics we would do well what can one replace the satisfaction and proven to be my most able teachers. Both to cultivate. gratification that a responsible position indirectly, as in (overheard) "Don't give affords? Housekeeping by comparison Mommy the note about the speech - if Rebbetzin 1Werski lives in Milwaukee where she is a rather thankless task. A problem well she goes, we'll have a babysitter tonight" assists her husband, Rabbi Michel Twerski, in serving their kehilla, which is inade up of recent resolved at work is a feather in one's cap, - and directly, "Mommy, just write the baalei teshuva and the long-time fru111. She is a while beds made this morning, no JO that you have seven children - you highly popular lecturer on a wide range of top­ matter how meticulously, will be don't have time to write;' they have guid­ ics in venues around the globe. unmade tonight. And yet, this inner ed me along the road of Jewish mother­ voice dared not let itself be too clearly hood. But more importantly, they have heard. Twelve years of schooling had taught me better than any lecturer or CHEVRA OSEH CHESED taught me better. I knew that true sat­ author that my only real satisfaction will OF AGUDATH ISRAEL isfaction for a bas Yisroel was to be come from my home. Deciding to stay attained in the confines of one's home. home when my little one is sick ceases to BURIAJ: PLOTS I grew up with a "stay-at-home moth­ become a challenge when his small IN ERET% YISROEL er;' and in my heart, I wished to provide hand squeezes mine ever so gratefully. So Interment in a,Sh~ Shahhos Beis the same for my children. though I continue to work (now strict­ Olam mar BeisShemesh Frankly, it was not too necessary to ly due to financial necessity), my prior­ ''.F :,-::;,, Please IJho#':o,r Write to: dwell on the "whys;' for the facts were ities are ever so gradually falling into Chewa Oseh.. ' if Aiudalh Israel clear. If my husband was to learn (I did­ place. For self-fulfillment, pride and ., Yi\rk, NY I 0038 n't attend Bais Yaakov for nothing!), I nachas, my family takes first place. Work 4 was to work. So it went for the first ten doesn't even make a close second. • -9000

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 23 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

A singularly invaluable asset in my derful'?" Growing older has invested this IN THE PRESENCE OF MY FATHER nearly four decades of communal work attribute with greater discrimination, has been my ability to connect with oth­ but in the main, it is an asset that I trea­ gain a reminiscence: My father, ers. While this has not come without sure to this day. For those anticipating Rabbi Yisroel Avraham Stein, some industry, the undeniable fact or already engaged in a career in com­ A7":in, Rav of Faltichen, Ru mania, remains that it is in large measure a munal service, I cannot recon1mend was a figure out of the alter heim, the old Divine endowment. From my earliest anything of greater consequence than world. Charged by his early Chassidic childhood, I seem to have been blessed the development of this asset, even if it roots in Vizhnitz and further enriched with a natural affinity for people and a must be actively willed, cultivated, and by his apprenticeship to the famed Rabbi proclivity to be drawn to the best in oth­ chosen. Mayer Shapiro of Lublin, he was a man ers. The family joke during my forma­ Proper due must be given to parental of great learning, charisma and religious tive years in response to my having met reinforcement and encouragement fervor. His spiritual discipline was someone new was, "How long will it take (nurture) of our dispositional inclina­ exacting, and his Chassidic perspective before Feige exclaims 'Isn't she won- tions (nature). on life in the "new" world unbending. All of the above notwithstanding, he crafted and broadened the horizons of my life in ways might seem incongru­ ous with his background. For one, he was the living personifi­ cation of what our sages in defined as a" chacham') - "Who is wise but he that learns from every person" (Avos IV, 1). My father was fascinated and intrigued by everyone who crossed his path. The disease is incredibly rare, terribly painful During his summer stays in Tan­ nersville, New York, he formed a bond - and a little girl tom Jerusalem is of affection and respect with Rabbi Breur, ?"Yr, and his German-Jewish com­ one of only five in the world that has it. munity that was truly remarkable. Sim­ Only a delicate bone marrow transplant in Seattle can save her life! Her grandfather ilarly, during his frequent visits to Mil­ is one of Jerusalem's most respected Torah sages. Her parents are magnificent waukee, where few in those days people, who spend days and nights tearfully comforting their precious, stricken, understood his European Yiddish, he suffering little girl.They have love, Torah wisdom, concern and bitachon connected with all of our baalei teshu­ -but only with your help can they possibly pay bills of va, shattering barriers of age, language, culture and background. Though their frames of reference were so disparate, my father had the capacity to build $2'>0,000 bridges out of his context of "learning That is what Ruchele's life will cost from every person:' It is a lesson etched in my memory, complementing my nat­ o~l~n., ~l!l o~l~n., ural propensity to connect. A second lesson came from the effec­ Join us in answering the plea of Gedolei Eretz Yisroel. tiveness of his communication, which is HoravYosef Horav Aharon Horav Harav Moshe Horav Meir best expressed in the rabbinic axiom, Sholom Elyashiv Leib Shteinman Shmuel Aurllach Halberstam Brandsdorfer "Words which emanate fro1n the heart, penetrate the heart." My husband, Rabbi !N~ C~l' C"P l~N~ ~.,'ll, nnN 'll!>l ~~)l1i ~~' Michel Twerski N"PW, once explained that communication is analogous to a bow Horav Avrohom Pam Horav Yaakov Perlow Horav Yo1ef Rosenblum and arrow- the farther back you pull the bow, the greater the distance the arrow will Rolh Yeshiva Torah Vodass Novominsker Rebbe Rosh Yelhiva Sharei Yosheer travel. My father communicated out of a blazing kiln of rich emotion and spiritu­ Your tilx deductible contributions can be made out to TZEDAKAH V'CHESED and sent to al passion. Whether in sweeping an audi­ RABBI NISSON WOLPIN ence of tens of thousands to share in his 305 Avenue F, Brooklyn, NY 11218 splendorous Torah visions, or in his per-

---···------~.------24 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

sonal discussions with me1nbers of the ing now, because in three weeks that's immediate family, his heart was always going to be my opinion:' From the open and bare. 'Whatever abiJities I and 1ny proverbial tent of Sarah, my mother ~our~e of t~e "~oo~ne~~" siblings have in this realm are a direct demonstrated, that in so many ways, result of having witnessed on a constant "the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the basis 1ny father's communication rever­ world:' My mother's legacy to me and in raaKov'~ Tent berating with fervor, conviction and pas­ through me to those I am privileged to Mrs. Hinda D. Wolpin sion. teach is the antidote to the contempo­ Finally, my father, the Chassidic rary American illusion that cripples the h tovu oholecha Yaakov, Rebbe, always made me feel very special, real power of Jewish wives and moth­ mishkanosecha Yisroel. Ever defying the myth that Chassidic daugh­ ers. It promotes the healing effect of M:ince Balak- eyes boggling at ters are second-class citizens. He took humility as the remedy to power and the the neat rows of Jewish tents in the desert, great pride in my acade1nic achieve­ soothing quality of modesty to stem tl1e marveling at their discreet domestic ments and, generally, in the strength of corrosive effect of ambition. arrangements - uttered those immortal Jewish women. He was fond of inter­ words, a Jewish woman's charge has been preting Egypt's downfall to Pharaoh's CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH articulated. Those tents epitomized the lack of appreciation for the power of MY PARENTS quintessential Jewish home. It's the inner Jewish women. Hence, the Pharaoh's ambience that couuts. An atmosphere of decree that only little boy babies be y parents are gone, but curi­ bitachon and simchas ha'chaim (trust in drowned. Would he have understood the ously, are with me more than Hashem and joy in life) cau override near­ strength of Jewish women, who knows Mever. When I look at another ly all external factors. Throughout the what he would have resorted to! - my human being, I look through my ages, women have been cocooned in tents father would exclaim. father's eyes. When I find myself suc­ of one sort or another, trying to make of Late at night, as I was falling asleep, cumbing to the sea of opportunity and the variables a home. Though the para­ I'd overhear my father sharing with a blandishments which beckon tempt­ meters may change) the dynamics remain friend, what a wonderful and special ingly, my mother's image jolts me back the same. At one point in history, the child I was. Needless to say, I worked to concentrating on what ultimately is challenge was trying to make ghetto life hard not to disappoint him. As a result, really important and fulfilling. To be less oppressive) by infusing meaning as I have often advised parents to allow sure, my immediate family, husband, well as some lightness and security into children to catch them in the act of giv­ children and grandchildren have played a perilous lifestyle. ing praise - a page out of my father's a vital role in inspiring and encourag­ parenting manual. ing my growth and development. My Hinda Dvora Wolpin is a wife, mother, grand­ mother, educator and free-lance writer whose extended family, the kehilla in Milwau­ articles and book reviews have been featured in LOW PUBLIC PROFILE, kee and our chevra everywhere, are sig­ JO. Her husband, Rabbi Chaim Boruch Wolpin, HIGH PRIVATE IMPACT nally responsible for whatever modest is Rosh HayeshivaofYeshiva Mesivta Karlin-Stolin achievements I can legitimately claim. in Brooklyn. ing Solomon must have prophet­ Though I am supposed to teach and ically envisioned my mother, inspire, it is they who have challenged K Rebbetzin Sara Stein, i1"l>, when and inspired me, transcending both he wrote his exalted "Aishes ChayiI" nature and nurture by their deter­ (Woman of Valor). She was the ultimate mined striving and courage in the modest, self-effacing and low public­ realm of free will. profile person. It wasn't that she thought n conclusion, the legacy and guid­ less of herself - just that she thought of ance from those who preceded me herself less. She had her priorities I illuminate my path with an unerr­ straight: husband first, then children, ing light. Ultimately, however, the bot­ and only then, the rest of the world. tom line is that as human beings we have • MAXIMIZE YOUR CHILD'S PoTEHT!Al Unlike so 1nany of us, who are driven, little control over the circumstances of • PT

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 25 Qp CHOICES AND PRIORITIES

Today - though it may be an eight­ decisions, encountered daily, have enor­ and she has the power to direct the life acre ranch spread, a three-room base­ mous portent for the future. Food, tendencies of her offspring and gener­ ment, an upper West Side apartment, or demeanor, dress - there's no such ani­ ations to come. All this must be infused a Miami condo - the four walls still mal as a minor decision when it comes with warmth and love. reflect the woman's essence, of who she to Yiddishkeit. Can we afford to have Yid­ is and who she strives to be. The chal­ dishkeit trickle down to the next gener­ he unexamined life is not worth lenge ofluxury can be as daunting as the ation in diluted form? living. Every aspect of this phys­ challenge of deprivation. A women has not only to stop to Tical life is a filbert; there's the meat The kedusha invested in the home is smell the roses, but also to weigh, bal­ and there's the shell. The shell is the also manifest by how much of the out­ ance and keep a mental accounting of gashmius, the meat the ruchnius. Home side depravity- and there's always been those all-too-fleeting years. Thought and decorating, cookery, fashion - can all be depravity- she permits to enter and to thoughtfulness are all that stand pursued from the aspect of the meat and what degree the home reflects the mah between a "good wife, good cook, good the shell. A melding of the two, to tovu ohalecha Yaakov. This awesome mother," and a great woman who has achieve a home permeated with spiri­ state-of-being is not the result of a con­ made a difference in the world. Time can tuality, is the goal, which must always be scious choice, but evolves as a series of be frittered away, or used wisely, to do in the forefront of the woman's con­ minor, sometimes haphazard decisions. chessed, either small or large scale, sciousness. Her minutest actions, her The degree of sanctity of her home will guide and shape the lives in her pos­ conversation, dress and deportment have a powerful influence on her session so that they become a source of are imprinted indelibly on her children's descendants. Seemingly petty decisions: pride rather than chagrin. She must real­ souls, and will affect future generations. Do I have time to pay a shiva call or am ize that she is the sentinel of Yiddishkeit, I heard in the name of Rabbi Yissachar I too tired? Does it matter if some hair she is the Bubby her grandchildren will Frand, that when a woman focuses all sticks out in front of my snood? All these quote and measure themselves against; her intellectual gifts on establishing her home and family to their highest poten­ tial, then she achieves the bina yeseira mentioned in the Torah. A husband and wife were having a discussion once in a car where I was a passenger. He was very excited about hosting his Rebbe who was arriving from Bretz YisroeL "Oh, no," his wife 1n1rrial iilvestmet\t, yC.u ct\hrlb~ g&tcl1h'~r<:ltlps'bll5tlJ~ said. "I'm not having all those people in the house. No way. I just redeco­ plots from - rated, remember?" The husband's face Rabbi Gavrlel Beer• 011-972-2-641-1923 fell; he begged and pleaded, but the wife was adamant. Her delicate uphol­ stery and carpeting would remain unsullied. Talented lady, undoubted­ ly, but perhaps a tad shortsighted. Every generation has its unique chal­ lenges. Shopping, bargain hunting, sheitel beautification are not among them. Or perhaps they are. Let's imagine a little vignette. If, when Moshiach arrives, while passing by your Full Service Community Total Torah Community house he gets a little hot and thirsty, •Healthy Job Market •Cheder suppose he chooses to stop by for a •Affordable Housing •Bais Yakov glezzeleh tay. How proud would you be •Nurturing Community •Yeshiva Gedola to show him around? •Kolle! •Learning Opportunities Woman is the linchpin of the home. •Shomer Shabbos •Mikveh When her values are skewed, it becomes Medical Residencies •Eruv •Community Activities •Wisconsin School Tuition the leaning tower of Pisa. When her pri­ Vouchers For Qualifying Families orities are in tune with Torah values, her home becomes what it's supposed to be The Torah Co1n111unity of Rabbi Michel Twerski Invites Your Interests 1-800-226-3129 - a mikdash me'at. •

26 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 HaRav Yaakov Weinberg, ZT''L A tribute to a Gadol b'Yisroel The Rabbonim and Talmidim of Yeshivas days of non stop shiurim at our Yeshiva. Aish HaTorah are devastated by the loss of In memory of this Gadol b'Yisroel and in an effort Rabeinu HaRav Yaakov Weinberg, zt"l, Rosh to marbetz his Torah, we are offering these tapes HaYeshiva, Yeshivas Ner Yisroel. at a reduced price. These shiurim reveal the Rosh For each of the past 20 years HaRav Yaakov Wein­ HaYeshiva's refreshing conviction, clarity, depth, berg zt"l visited Yerushalayirn and delivered 10 chochma and love for Torah.

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NECHEMIXS MESSAGE OPTIMISM .•• WITHOUT ~Voodcut from Scfer Minlmgim,Amsterdam, 1723 COMPLACENCY Yerushalayim - during the twenti­ eth year of King Artachshasta .... military escort and material provided by he days of" Bein Hametzarim" - Late one night, the Jews ofYerusha­ Artachshasta himself to rebuild the the Three Weeks of Mourning - layim, returnees from the Babylonian burnt city? What possessed the builder Tand especially Tisha B'Av, are sup­ exile, sleep quietly. Suddenly, a small of Yerushalayim to sneak out at night posed to affect us in the same way that group of men assemble and move like a criininal and destroy it even more? Nechemia's late night mission shook our silently through the ruins ofYerusha­ Nechemia, of course, had a plan. A ancestors in Yerushalayim. Tisha B'Av layim. The leader, on horseback, plan placed in his heart by the Creator forces us to be honest, to realize that to guides them out of Shaar Hagai, and who understands the ways of His cre­ a spiritually healthy Jew, our current sit­ they begin to move along the city's ations. Rashi explains that Nechemia, uation is intolerable. Our natural ten­ broken walls. They stop by a section upon arriving in Yerushalayim, had dency is to focus on the positive, the sur­ of the remaining wall and, working found that the settlers who had arrived vival of Am Yisroel in Galus, and the carefully to minimize the noise of their from Bavel had become complacent. flourishing Torah communities around activity, knock down the section of wall They grew used to the idea of living in the world. While this attitude can help and quickly move on. Throughout the a city that was not a city. The broken, us maintain our optimis1n in times of night, guided by their leader, they burnt walls of Yerushalayim were adversity, it can also lull us into com­ breach the wall again and again until suffiecient for their current needs. placency and satisfaction with the sta­ reentering the city through Shaar Nechemia saw that in order to spur them tus quo. The lesson ofNechemia is that Hagai. to take upon themselves once again the only a nation that honestly acknowl­ ho were these people? Who holy mission of rebuilding Yerushalay­ edges its status of churban can have the dared raise their hands im, he needed to shock them, to remind motivation to rebuild. W against the wounded walls of them that the Beis Hamikdash, Yerusha­ On Tisha B'Av, we envision the walls the city, adding to the destruction? What layim, and all of Am Yisroel were in a as though knocked down. We see that cabal of traitors existed among the small state of churban - destruction! Only anything we have is but a shadow of what Jewish community in the holy city? through a deep realization of churban it could and should be. We cry out for If one of the sleeping residents of would they ignite within themselves the the loss of the Beis Hamikdash and the Yerushalayim had seen the determined need to build. closeness we had to Hakadosh Baruch face of the leader of these vandals, he The next day, Nechemia stood before Hu. We mourn the loss of kavod would have gasped with shock. the Jews of Yerushalayim and told Shamayim, of nevua, of the Sanhedrin, Nechemia! How could it be? Nechemia, them, "You see the evil state we are in, of malchus. We must realize that we are who used his influence with King for Yerushalayim is destroyed, its gates empty, desolate. The Slonimer Rebbe Artachshasta to receive permission to have been burnt by fire. Go and rebuild N .. V>?v writes in the name of Rabbi reestablish Yerushalayim? Nechemia, the walls of Yerushalayim so that we Moshe MiKobrin 7 .. llt that the greatest who arrived just three days ago with a should no longer be shamed! ... " And tragedy is for a Jew to reconcile himself they said, "We will arise and build!" to life without the Beis Hamikdash. Rabbi Shust~r teaches Talmud in Machon Lev, Jerusalem. He represented in these pages by"Thc (Nechemia - 2, 17, 18) Once, a Jew came to the Oheiv Yis­ Big Bad Wolf" in Oct. '97. roel of Apta and poured out his trou-

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 29 bles before him. It appeared to the When a wealthy man loses his situation and will stop str1v1ng to troubled Jew that the Oheiv Yisroel did riches, as long as he continues to view return to the world of the wealthy. not seem to be concentrating on his himself as a "wealthy man," he will be Even though he may dream about win­ problems in the way that he expected bothered by discrepancies between his ning the lottery, these thoughts will he would. The Apter Rav said to him, lifestyle and that of other wealthy fam­ merely be the fantasies of wealth "And what about the fact that we did­ ilies. He will think, "I'm also a g'vir. My common to any poor person. His real n't bring the korban hatamid today? family used to have the same luxuries concerns will not extend beyond the You don't worry about that?" (Nesivos the other g'virim enjoy." This will trou­ desire for a roof over his head and food Shalom - Bamidbar) ble him and he will constantly try to on the table ( Chovos Hatalmidim - Lack of aveilus on Tisha B'Av stems come up with plans that will enable Chapter 10). from the tragedy of our forgetting who him to regain his previous standard of We must not be satisfied with what we truly are. The Chovos Hatalmidim living. However, if he modifies his self we have - not with our yeshivas, our provides us with an enlightening image, and views himself as a poor shuls, our communities, or our rela­ mashal. man, he will no longer worry about his tionship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. National teshuva, the Beis Hamikdash, the return to Yerushalayim, the reestab­ lishment of Malchus Beis David cannot NOW AVAILABLE remain "lottery" fantasies that if fulfilled, AGUDATH ISRAEL OF AMERICA TORAH PROJECTS COMMISSION would make life more pleasant. On Tisha HALACHA CONFERENCE FOR BUSINESS LEADERS AND PROFESSIONALS, APRIL 25, 1999 B'Avwe sit on the floor, 1nourning, con­ TAPE ORDER FORM centrating on our loss, and with that TA.PE# DESCRIPTION PRICE QTY TOTAL sense of loss, we nurture the commit­ THE OBSERVANT JEW IN THE SECULAR WORKPLACE ment to do all in our power to repair the Rabbi Boruch Hirshreld $7.50 HALACHA AND THE BUSINESS TRAVELER causes of churban and return to where Rabbi Don Blumberg I we should be.

HALACHIC PARAMETERS OF DISPUTE RESOLUTION I I Reb Shlomo Kar liner';··~ said that the 2 Rabbi J, David Bleich I 7 THE SECULAR ENFORCEABILITY OF DAIS DIN JUDGEMENTS i =t=-1-$ .SO ~· greatest aveira a Jew can commit is to for­ 1---+P_ro_ra_.,_,_shlo_m_•_C_h_a_im_R_n_•_•<_•_rr______+ 1 1 - . get that he is a ben melech, the son of the BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL ETHICS I I king, a royal prince! Our pain on Tisha 3 Rabbi Henchel Welcher - 1I CONTEMPORARY HALACHIC ISSUES INCHOSHEN MISHPAT s7.so B'Av is the measure of how clearly we I - 1---+Ra_h_,._·c_ba_im_K_•_•_•______,,i ___,,_ -+----4 remember who we are, and how we 4 KEYNOTE ADDRESS: Rabbi Yaakov Perlow,No11omin.~ker Rebbe s;1_50 I should live. As in the time of Nechemia, Highlights or address by Rabbi Shimon Schwab zt"I (1989) - i ----+---+--+---4 this pain will energize us with the desire 5 MODERN BUSINESS AND THE ISUR OF RIBIS I and commitment to teshuva and renew­ 1---+Ra-•_•_•Y_P_~_•_R_•_••_m_•_•._R_•_•_••_M_M_h•_s_•_••_·'-"'-"'------+,·,itt±$750---~ 6 EMPLOYER/ EMPLOYEE RELATIONSHIPS IN HALACHA al. "We will arise and we will build!" • Rabbi Moshe Mordecbai Lowy, Rabbi Noach Jsaac Oelbaum I 7 SHEMIRAS SHABBOS IN THE WORKPLACE i 7 5 i I Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz, Rabbi Shlomo Miller I s . o ! "-- 1---~A_CO_M_PL_E_T_E_S_E_T_o_F_A_L_L_T_A_P_Es_1N_B_l_N_DE_R__ , _____ ~! _S46£. I; 11 Shipping and handling (per order - regardless of number of tapes ordered) $ 4.00 ,

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30 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 A 'Window to tlie JUdden Wor{d of 'Brisk Tlie Inpirin9 Saga ef Reb 'R.fplioe( So(oveitcliik

1r]h1(e 3/9) Ml(ell(o)(cJhHo)§ 1~~IJ!i~llllf~ilill~ll,flli1~'

J"\ll[ore than a decade in the making, the product of enormous labor and effmt- m1n ?w n?r.i11. this monu­ mental multi-volume work elucidates all of the 39 Melochos of Shabbos with a clarity and organization never presented before. Written in an interesting and smooth flowing style, the text skillfully guides the reader from the basic concepts to the practical llalacha. Among the numerous Halachic questions dealt with in this Sefer:

• Hair sprays • Fire, c1nergcncies • Modern cru,,in • Tin1ers • Baby-\vipes • Toys and games THE LIFE AND TIMES OF • Shaitel care • Garment labels • Loose butt-ons REB REPHOEL SOLOVEITCHIK OF BRISK • Clogged drains • Sealed containf'J'S • Crock pots, un1s • Elevators • Diapers • House plants • Cosmetics • Air conditioning • \Vhecl chairs By B.C. gCaberson • Folding strollers • Vaporizers • Mode111 ranges •Plumbing • Hearing aids • 1f~chumin for the first time, the story of Brisk. An unusu­ • \\1irc t\viskt.ies • \Vater purifiers al, penetrating documentary illuminating the English lext C01npr~hens!vc rarified way of Brisk. Full of incredible stories of This distinguisl1ed Hebrew source with over 400 tzedoko and chesed, amazing photographs of work, written by notes at Uw end the author of The of each life in Brisk before the war and afterward in volume Eretz Yisroel . . . Stirring anecdotes of Reb llalachos of Yichud. is Rephoel's great-grandfather, the Bais Ha-Levi, highly his grandfather; Reb Chaim Brisker and his acclaimen father; the Brisker Rov ... Dramatic adventures in haskamos of the escape from Brisk to Eretz Yisroel and the by today's great struggles and battles Reb Rephoel waged leading Roshei Yeshiva and for those in this world and the next. This book Poskim. will fascinate, enrich and uplift the minds and hearts of readers from first page to last.

HISTORICAL .MILESTONF-8 Mrs. Miriam Margoshes

n chaf Sivan (the twentieth THE "THIRD CHURBAN': Yaakov Pollack, the originator of the day of Sivan), 1648/5608, the G'ZEIROS TACH V'TAT, Pilpul method; the Maharshal, the O Cossacks under the leadership THE MASSACRES OF 1648-'49 Remoh, Rav Sholom Schachna, the of Bogdan Chmielnicki massacred the Maharam, the Maharsha, and the Jews of Nemirov, Poland. The Jews of arly in the sixteenth century, the Bach. Later on there were the L'vush, the town and the outlying areas had run king of Poland (which then the Taz, the Shach, the Mega/eh for refuge to the fortified castle over­ Eincluded both Lithuania and the Amukos, the Sm'a, and the Tosfos looking the town. But the Cossacks, fly­ Ukraine) offered economic privileges Yom-Tov. ing stolen Polish flags, deceived them and some civil rights to Jews. As a result, But the good times were not destined into opening the castle gates. Pouring Jews from lands where life had become to last. into the castle, swinging their swords, difficult, like the provinces of Germany Across the Dnieper River from the Cossacks cut down men women, to the west, began migrating eastward Poland proper, in what is today the and children without mercy. Women to Poland. eastern Ukraine, there lived a tribe and girls jumped from the castle walls For the next hundred years, the Jews called the Cossacks, a proud and into the surrounding moat to drown, prospered in Poland. The Jewish pop­ nationalistic people who were leg­ rather than be captured alive. Young ulation reached between one and 1.5 endary horsemen. Although tlley were men who could swim also jumped into million; Jews made up nearly a major­ subjects of the king of Poland, the Cos­ the moat in a desperate attempt to ity in many of the smaller towns. The sacks had their own chief (the "het­ escape, but they were pursued and Jews were mostly business people - man") whose name strikes terror into killed. On that day, the moat ran red merchants and traders. Many became every Jewish heart to this day: Bogdan with Jewish blood. Estimates of the dead agents on the noblemen's estates, col­ Chmielnicki. range from 3,000 to I 0,000. lecting taxes, rents and road-tolls for the Chmielnicki was a man of large Nemirov was only one of 140 kehil­ noble landowners. This was an excellent ambitions. One day, he revealed that he los destroyed by the Cossack hordes; some source of income for Jews, although it was in secret contact with the Khan of say there were as many as 700. The total had an unfortunate side effect: it caused the Crimean Tartars) planning a revo­ number of victims will never be known the lower classes - the peasants and the lution against Poland. The Jewish for sure, since the killing machine was­ craftsmen, who had to pay those taxes agent of the Polish landowner over­ n't efficient enough yet in those days to and tolls - to transfer their hatred of heard and reported the plot; Chmiel­ compile statistics, but estimates range the oppressive noblemen to the Jewish nicki was led to prison in chains and between 100,000 and 670,000 dead. agents. Frequent attacks by the clergy, sentenced to death for treason. Kinas written by the Taz, the Shach, and competing merchants, and envious It was 1648/5408, sh'nas Tach. In the Tosafos Yorn Tov compare this tragic peasants were a part oflife for the Jews. that fateful and terrible year, before the epoch to the Churban Bais Hamikdash. However, the king did provide them verdict against Chmielnicki could be Mrs. Margo~he;, who lives in Br~klfo, b;sed thi~ with son1e protection. carried out, King Vladimir of Poland article on an essay by Rabbi Chaskel Besser that That era was a radiant time for suddenly died. Chmielnicki escaped appeared in [Jos Yiddishe Vort, Tishrei 5759. Torah in Poland. Gedolim who lived with his life and the Cossacks rebelled * Tach V'Tat is the transliteration for rrn = there and produced their immortal against their Polish overlords, defeat­ l5]408/l648 and ""n = [5]409/1649. works in that period include Rav ing the Polish army and even ca ptur-

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 33 ing the commanding general, Graf Thousands of Jews fled from their POLAND'S ENEMIES: (Count) Potocki. homes before the violent Cossack THE COSSACK'S ALLIES The Cossacks soon crossed the hordes, leaving everything behind. But Dnieper and penetrated Poland prop­ where could they go? They hid out in wo historic enemies of Poland had er, raiding every town and village in forests; they tried to reach some border. joined Chmielnicki in his rebel­ their path (see map). Supposedly, they While on the run, families were split up Tlion, the Crimean Tartars and the were out for revenge against the detest­ - many fathers and mothers lost Turks. Those Jews who fell into Turkish ed Polish noblemen and their families, track of their children, and even of one hands were lucky, relatively speaking; and against the Catholic priests who another. Whoever managed somehow they were "only" carried away on ships had persecuted them for their Greek to sneak across the border into Ger­ to be sold as slaves in Constantinople and Orthodox faith; but wherever they many, Bohemia, Austria, Holland or Salonika, where the Sephardic commu­ rode, in town after town, the Cossacks Italy was a broken, penniless refugee, nities would come to their rescue and swooped down and attacked the dependent on the local Jewish com­ redeem them from captivity. defenseless Jews. munities for bread. But whoever fell into the clutches of the Cossacks themselves was doomed. The Cossacks massacred Jews with gris­ ly tortures that read like a handbook for Hitler. Talmidei chachamim and amcha, rich and poor, the old and the young, women, even children, were mutilated and killed. The Cossacks also ran their swords through sifrei Torah and tefillin, and plundered and burned down the houses. Awesome stories of kiddush Hashem took place in those tragic years. (Contemporary accounts can be found in the sefer Evven Metzula by Rav Nasson Nota Hanover, i'"i"'l.) In 1649/5409 (sh'nas Tat), a new king of Poland was elected. Chmielnicki him­ self swore fealty to the new king, but by Entering its 19th year B'ezras HaShem, then, he had lost control over his own men; and so, wild roving bands of Cos­ is accepting Talmidim for the coming zman. sacks continued to wreak havoc across the land until 1656. In addition, taking Yeshiva Eshai Yisroel has been successful in advantage of all the turmoil, Sweden sud­ finding the key to the hearts of its Talmidim for denly invaded Poland from the north, and won great victories against the inept Pol­ the past 18 years with, ish army. Eventually, though, the Polish Dedicated and caring Rebbeim top command was replaced; the Polish army went on the offensive and chased Shiurim in gemora, chumash, halacha and mussar the Swedes out. Like their former com­ Helping each Talmid reach his true potential mon enemy, the Cossacks, the Poles now also killed thousands of Jews, with the One and two sedorim available to accommodate those excuse that they had aided and abetted the who attend college Swedes. (It is a fact that the Swedish king had forbidden his soldiers to harm any Jew.) Finally, after some eight horrific For more information and years, it all wound down. With the to arrange for an interview call: return of peace, the decimated, demor­ alized Jews could begin to think about Rabbi Avrohom Shmuel Liebb (732) 370-4706 resuming a normal life. However, still more hard years would pass before all the Rabbi Avrohom Gewirtzman (718) 376-0970 heartrending problems of orphans and agunos would be dealt with, the shattered

------··------34 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 infrastructure would be rebuilt, and the Torah would send out once again from the land of Poland its now enfeebled rays. Chaf Sivan, the day when the Jews of Nemirov were wiped out (it is also the anniversary of the massacre of the Jews Personal responsibility throughout service - NOT JUST "PAPERWORK" of Blois, France during the Crusades of ORIGINATOR OF THE PRESENT RABBINICALLY APPROVED METHOD the 13"T~ 1Nl nlr.lll)) 'll~ Polish Jewry for 300 years, until 1942. a..o!Shcl&l!fS'"11J --.... ~and pOOlw! byooeamre mlhe m.bNryiwmorellm half •""""1' BEWARE OF IMPOSTERS • TAHARAS ffANIFTAR SHOULD NEVER BE COMMERCIALIZED IN THE AFTERMATH

rom 1572 on, Polish kings were elected by the nobles from among Fthemse1ves. Jews were also involved in this election process (most probably because the high-living, hard-drinking, incompetent Polish noblemen were per­ manently in debt to Jewish moneylen­ June l 999 I P"J1n1 11nn ders). Legend even has it that once, when Dear Talmida. the nobles were having a hard time reach­ . As you face the future with its many possibilities, you realize that ahead lie the ing a consensus on a new king, a Jew imp~rlant decisions of shidduchim and the responsibilities of life. called Reb Shaul Wohl (the name means . . o~ are a~vare tha~ the upcoming year must be spent within the right ((chosen" or "elected") was a compromise mst1tut10n, wit~ the ~1ght chevra, with the right content. We believe that choosing to candidate, and he actually reigned over RfRRHZ!N SORA F. lktKA at.tend ~ur Semmary is a valuable opportunity. We offer a challenging program of Dean, l'T~Yun L1mude1 Kodesh, a faculty of exceptional caliber including rnch k"ow I . . Poland for a short time. One king felt RABD! YBlfAYA LEVY R bb' D · , ' " n ummanesas that he owed his election to the good '?'11p •11n•':< ':<.1m pp a i -ov1d (,o!dwa_sser and Rebbetzin Esther Hoberman, and a weekly series of offices of a certain Jew. In return, in 1575 ?uest Lec'.urers that includes outstanding mechanchim and mechanchos and leaders _\'::_:.~~~~·-'~- m the Jewish ~orld. For students interested in going into CHINUCH, we offer a he decreed that Jews may do business on HoR.v IJ~YH! ff!N\tn~., .. ,.. ;~ Ro!hl/illi:.mn•. ,.,,,,_.,,. R""OcJ,1!lasT•[tit> C 11 d f d ' • a an m out more about all the possibilities we offer. for it; he could try it out on her first to make sure the incantation really Wishing you much hatzlacha,

worked. The Cossack agreed to the Rebbetzin Sora F. Bulka experiment. She cried out, "Sberna Yis­ Rabbi Yeshaya Le11y roel!" - and with the thrust of his 500 Omrch .71 venue, 'Brooklyn, 'N~~:;:;r;-;;;;;- .. -;:,,-·: · ~· ~ · ·--~------·---·----·---.. ·- -·-----.. ----. 1 1 8· 972,.)8 00 ~ 'Fax: 718.436.2954 sword, she fell down dead. • ·--·-·--·-·------·--·--·------The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 35 V'YESH OMRIM Avraham Steinberg "IS THIS YOUR SON'S CLOAK?" ~ Wor~ on ~olor War ~reakout~

The fear is almost palpable on the line­ Ghazal describe the various punish­ erations, the sin of"And they (Yoseif's broth­ up field, as the entire camp - staff, campers, ments that the ten sons of Yaakov suf­ ers) dipped the cloak in blood." and directors- stand in stunned obedience fered for their sin of selling YoseW. Aside The severity of this punishment of the awful creature who has ordered them from the responsibility that they bore for should give us pause. One of the most there. He appears wild and ruthless as he their transgression against Yoseif tragic elements of Jewish history- one waves his gun and begins to bark orders at Hatzaddik himself, they were also held which brought about thousands of the cringing assembly .... After several accountable for the pain caused to deaths and which was the cause ofter­ moments, he appears to have become frus­ Yaakov Avinu: rible horror for Jewish communities for trated. He lowers his gun, aiming it at the "And Yaakov rent his garmentsn - hundreds of years - was in punishment camp director's head, as all breathing Rabbi Pinchos said in the name of for causing grief for a false notion. stops.... Suddenly a huge smile spreads Rabbi Hoshea: the brothers caused Causing someone emotional dis­ across his face. He screams, "Color War!" - their father to rend his garments. And tress, even if only temporarily and only and raises his gun to the sky and fires a blast where were they compensated for by way of a misrepresentation that will into the mountain air. Joyous music is blared this? In Egypt, where it says, "And they later be corrected, is extremely crue], and over the loudspeakers as the teams are rent their garments." ... i is included in the prohibition against announced, and all dance to and fro in It is interesting to note the extent of ona'as devarim - causing pain through excited anticipation ofthe upcoming events. the midda k'negged midda, the quid pro verbal abuse. Scare scenes, such as the he above scene, and its likes, are quo of this punishment. Just as the broth­ one described above, cause young chil­ familiar to the many of us who ers caused their father to rend his cloth­ dren, albeit temporarily, great fear. Even Thave sent our children to summer ing in anguish over a false conception - to older children who are not duped by camps. The shocking color war break­ that his son had been killed - so were these charades, a very bad message is out is as much a part of the camp expe­ they to rend their clothes in anguish over sent: It is acceptable to scare someone in rience as are the trips and cookouts and a false conception -that the evil Egypt­ preparation for a good surprise. sports activities. Does this sort of scene ian despot would arrest their brother really have a place in a frum camp's Binyamin for theft. (The despot was, of this year's camp season pro­ repertoire? This, I suggest, is a matter course, in actuality Yoseif Hatzaddik him­ resses, it would behoove camp that deserves serious consideration. self, who would soon reveal his identi­ furectors, counselors, and all of Emotional pain caused by a false ty and bring salvation to his brothers.) those involved in devising camp activities, notion -while it lasts- is as real as that Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, i""i1 to eliminate color war breakouts resem­ caused by a true notion. The fear that makes a much more chilling comment bling the one that introduced this essay. a youngster experiences when he is made regarding the brothers' punishment for Our camps are baruch Hashem bursting to believe that his life is in danger, is no having pained Yaakov Avinu: with creativity and talent, and certainly different from the fear he would expe­ There is a rule that any falsehood new methods can be devised which will rience in a truly life-threatening that does not contain an iota of truth be equally exciting, but not harmful. encounter. The same is true of the cannot endure. And yet, the blood Mechanchim are wont to say that the anguish caused when a youngster is libel, which has no shred of verity, has two-month summer-camp experience made to believe that someone else's life endured for centuries. This is certainly can sometimes do more for a child's is in danger. The fact that he will later a wonder o f Hashgacha (Divine Prov­ development in middos than the ten­ become aware of the inauthenticity of idence). month term in yeshiva. Why should an these charades does not change the way I would suggest that this punishment of environment with such high potential he experiences them as they occur. Kial Yisroel is directed midda k'negged be marred needlessly? • midda (measure for measure) for a specif­ Avraham Steinberg lives in the Kew Gardens •See Bereishis Rabb a Vayeishev, 84: 16, 19 and 20 ic sin for which we are repaying in all gen- section of Queens, NY. 'ibid., chap. 2

36 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 HISTORICAL MILESTONES Elimelech Meisels We Never Met Yet I Know Him So Well

t is with a measure of trepidation A that l attempt to write about my Grandson's I grandfather, Elimelech 1ress, 7"lll. Can one write an authentic appreci­ ation of a man one has never met? Appreciation of a difference in founding schools or Even the fact that I am named for working with kids, but their impact the subject is not an advantage; Reb Elemelech Tress was purely local. since l am of Ashkenazic There was no large scale extraction, it simply proves Upon His 32nd Yahrzeit Torah future in the "Golden eh that I never had the privilege of Medineh"! The only question meeting my grandfather. How, was if it would take one generation then, am l to begin? Satmar Chassid who changed for the religious Jews to totally Oh, l could write about Zeida; I could his name to Mike, because he thought assimilate, or less. Anyone who would write pleasant, heart-warming stories, it was an American Yiddisher name. have predicted the vibrant, dynamic Yid­ inspirational stories, even some rather These stories would certainly make dishkeit of today with organization and incredible stories. I could write about the a nice Yahrzeit article. coordination of national scope would lives of people he rescued from the Nazis But that, as they say in Yiddish, "s'iz have either been committed, or ignored. l!l"lJ', the affidavits he arranged to bring gebitten oif k/ein gelt." The individual But Mike Tress was able to envision those refugees to America, how he pro­ ma' aselech get in the way of the larger a future where truthfully, none existed; vided for them and their children story, the story of American Yiddishkeit, he saw a yesh (substance), where there whom Mike later sent to yeshivas, to raise a story the writing of which was begun was onlyayin (a void). He dreamed of beautiful families of God-fearing Jews. by an extraordinary "ordinary Jew;' Reb a future of Orthodox Judaism accord­ Or perhaps I should write about the Elemelech Tress. ing to the dictates of the Torah, not the young boys Mike used to sing with in dictates of expediency, or even of neces­ Pirchei, the same boys, who as teenagers ike Tress was born and raised sity. He dreamed of an America where fighting in Europe, became the recipients in an America very different the bar of Orthodoxy would be set - not of Mike's Kosher food packages. Many M from the country we know where the professional panderers of those boys never got the chance to today, an America where piety was deemed it should be, but where the true thank Mike for the Care Packages. laughed at (albeit uneasily), in-depth Torah leaders said it should be. JO readers have surely heard of Torah study was thought irrelevant, and No longer would despairing "Yid­ Rabbi Aharon Kotler, the Satmar Rav, keeping Shabboswas a desperate finan­ dishe mammes" shake their heads help­ and the Stoliner Rebbe 11~1:27 Cl1'1:JT - cial gamble. And this was among the lessly as their children scampered off to men who truly transformed Jewish "frumeh Yidden;' let alone the vast the movies on Shabbos afternoon. America in terms of Torah study, reli­ majority who jettisoned their tefillin And he didn't stop with dreaming. He gious life and Chassidic presence - I while still on the boat. Even the few went out, and he fought; he consulted could write the stories of their rescue. talmidei chachamim who had made their the Gedolim, and listened to them, and Or about Mike's publishing ventures, way to America considered themselves he succeeded in creating a new outlook from the Orthodox Tribune to the Jew­ the last of their breed, and despaired of on Judaism in America. ish Pocket Books. And then there would transmitting their knowledge to the Jew­ be the thousands of Hungarian Jews he ish youth. The few isolated individuals, e started with the children, bought and smuggled out of Hungary such as Reb Yaakov Yosef Herman, who with Pirchei and Bnos, with during the height of the Hungarian Rev­ still tried to live as in Europe, were as H Simchas Torah dancing and olution in 1956-57.And lest we forget, mere driftwood in the raging sea of Melave Malkas, where the children I could write humorous tales, such as the American materialism. And the vision­ would hear stories about men with long ary pioneers, like Reb Shraga Feivel white beards and righteous women, and Elimelech Meisels, who is studying in a yeshiva in Jerusalem, was represented in these pages by Mendlowitz, who embarked on bring­ they would be spoken of with the awe "A Summons to the Yorn HaDin" (Sept. '98). ing the eternal Torah teachings from usually reserved for the likes of Babe

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 37 Ruth and Charles Lindbergh. Their despite never having met the man. he revealed in it many wondrous sights would be set on a Yiddishkeitthat I know it. It is like the fisherman who components, all of which were neces­ was proud and uncompromising, not knows there's a fish swimming below the sary for the world's purpose. But He shrinking and ashamed. They would surface, although he cannot see it. He also created additional components - transplant the authentic Yiddishkeit of doesn't have to see the fish, he sees the specifically, abilities, talents and devo­ Europe to these shores. They would not ripple. So too, I don't need to have seen tions, which the world would require be satisfied with the watered-down Mike. I need only look around, and see at some later stage. These He placed in Orthodoxy then prevailing in America. all the ripples. storage, ('fl~) as it were, until such Aud Mike succeeded. Not by himself, time as they would needed, whereupon of course. He had plenty of able helpers, hroughout history, there have Hashem allowed them to be discovered but he was the catalyst, the" chaver'' who been individuals who have dis­ and imparted to the world through a held it all together. He succeeded in Tplayed tremendous abilities to do i\?J'I", a righteous member of that par­ changing the attitude of the Orthodox for mankind, and for Hashem, and who ticular generation. world from one of despair to one of accomplished well beyond their inher­ An illustration of this is the hunger hope, from one of limited horizons to ent capabilities. From whence this in Mitzrayim, where there was a need one of broad range. burning desire and boundless energy? for someone to lead and supply There have been many great leaders Why did they merit such unusual hat­ expertise in financial matters, what the since then, both lay and Rabbinic, and zlacha, and such great Siyata Dishmaya Malbim calls the midda (concept) of some, like the late Rabbi Moshe Sher­ at every step of the way? Parnas. This wisdom was a gift from er, ':nn, who bridged the gap between Shlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei, Hashem and could just as well have the two. They all realized great achieve­ 2, 7: "n'1!11n c"W"> ]l!l:>I' - He concealed been given to an Egyptian minister. ments in the service of Kial Yisroel- but the essence of Torah wisdom for virtu­ This would have been a more natural it all began with that "yesh;' the "yesh" ous people." course of action than getting a foreign that Mike had dreamed of and with The Malbim explains this verse as fol­ slave released from prison, and Hashem's help, brought to pass. lows: appointing him as second-in-com­ You may wonder how I know all this, When Hashem created the world, mand to the King of Egypt, the most powerful ruler in the world. r.------~ But Hashem chose to reveal it I through Yoseif HaTzaddik, a youth ARE You MOVING? totally inexperienced in matters of I national economy, for Yoseif was an IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED I Adam Yashar, and that is how Hashem INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? I wishes to add the final ingredients to Wff need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. his creation, through a Righteous Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print dearly your address and I Person. Similarly, when there was a computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. I need for Gevura (strength) in the world, Hashem chose to reveal it I through Shimshon. I (Au analogy can be drawn to Sara Affix old label here I Schenirer "' of Cracow and Vichna Kaplan 7'1 of Williamsburg, who had I the merit to introduce the concept of Name ______I chinuch habanos to Eastern Europe I and, later, to America.) NewAddress ______~- There was something missing in I America in those years. Not Jews; there City, I were plenty of those. Not Askonim; there were some of those, too. Not even Torah; State, --,...------·Zip I there were still impressive talmidei Date Effective ______~--- I chachamim in the older generation. It Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer Change of Address I was something much more subtle, 84 William Street, New York, NY 10038 almost intangible. In the words of I Please a1low 4~6 weeks for all changes-to be reflected oii yOur mailing label. We will not be I Rabbi Nachman Bulman, N"1'"'1!1, there I responsible f!'.>r back issues missed unless you notify us 6 weeks prior to your move, I was need for a new creation, Torah Askonus. To borrow a turn of phrase: L------~------~ 38 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 Askonus of the Torah, by the Torah, and and day camp, each Kosher L'Mehadrin, Jewish lobby today would be in the ruins for the Torah. with beautiful facilities, and staffed by of the legendary Yiddish theaters of Sec­ It was the missing ingredient, an Bnei Torah, in stark contrast to the days ond Avenue. ingredient that transformed the Amer­ before Mike Tress opened Camp Agu­ ican melting pot from a bubbling dah, and the choice for a Jewish sum­ S, then,is the story I wish to relate, witches' caldron into what it is today: a mer vacation was a co-ed Federation the story of a man who indeed did savory mix of Chasidish, Litvish, and camp, or the streets of the city; it is TIelp many an individual, but in the Sefardic Yiddishkeit, no longer fighting because of Reb Elimelech Tress. process, began the rescue of a nation, and just to stay afloat, but swimming might­ Sure enough, today's activists' care­ thus ensured the survival of Torah chinuch ily towards Moshiach Tzidkenu. fully arranged photo-ops and friend-of­ and Yiddishkeit in America. the-court briefs may make Mike's fran­ To know this, we need not have been t was this ingredient that Mike Tress tic and desperate dashes to Washington there, nor have seen it, nor even have read added. He brought Torah Askonus appear amateurish. Were it not for those about it... for we are all riding the crest of I into being, an Askonus with love for courageous sorties, however, the only the ripple that has become a tidal wave. • every Jew, but also with an unswerving devotion to Torah and Gedolei Torah. ~ iii~ Above all else, Reb Elemelech Tress ii~Helping each '\t Secular studies :1. was a iw>. His glattkeit (simplicity), his ~!and every •i•!I simple erhrlichkeit (integrity), were department incor;~~ ;;y-:4<·0}ilaJmid succeed hallmarks of his personality and influ­ porating '!~ enced everything he did. Perhaps this i\~1.in his learning was why he merited to introduce to the ~5and reach his vocational skill$~r world this concept of Torah Askonus, and fllull potential. through it, turn America from an ayin 1~'.· '-&!. into a yesh ( creatio ex nihilo). ";: = For as surely as Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla created the concept of chadorim, I.Professional, and thus ensured the survival of chin­ !!¥Warm, dedicated uch, and of Torah Yiddishkeit in the ~~Rehheim and world, Mike Tress, through his Askonus, '!tistaff. ensured the survival, and the growth of ~{',';· Torah Yiddishkeit in America .... •. ~ So that, if today, Agudath Israel of ifiii America has an agenda that embraces l!~Nighlly social activis1n, political action, and inter­ ,.Chavrusa national shtadlanus, and succeeds in fi,program - one making its mark because politicians and diplomats respect Agudath Israel's integri­ ~¥on one with ty, it is because of his pioneering efforts; ~tavreichim from .. .if today, there can be disagreement ~~Beth Medrash as to the best way to check shatnez, it is only because Mike Tress and Yosef ~Govoha Rosenberger introduced the idea to a l~'Lakew~od. public which was completely unaware of the existence of this mitzva; ·~Y ~ §\}» .. .if Mechanchim debate the relative ~/State of the art merits of Mishnayos Bifnim vs. Ba' al Peh, Pirchei vs. Hasmada programs, it is the l~ompuler lab ~Ji-, result of one man's efforts that spiritu­ ally upward-mobile youth groups would come into existence- groups where ulti­ mately Mishnayos would once again be a topic for debate; ,iflease contact Rabbi Yosef:f: .. .if today, a parent can choose ·;trailing Address: 1446 MontnO ,NJ.;.;0..·· .. ' ..•.••·1.•.·.·.:'.•.·'. 726. 1 Fax• 732-905-1039 between learning camp, regular camp, ;:.:\::is1 ~

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 39 SECOND LOOKS Rabbi Hillel Goldberg Is Reform Jewry Coming Home?

essianic yearning is in the air limity and trivialization, ultimate truth ine: an apparent admission from the - and more. Rabbi Binyamin and ultimate falsehood, all at once. designers and defenders of deviation M Zilber, a member of Agudath Something of this double vision - great from timeless norms that one can Israel's Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah in and pure hope tempered by historical, experience a spiritual uplift from per­ Israel, once told me, "This is the peri­ harsh reality - greets recent develop· forming mitzvos! Clearly, any believing od of ikvesa deMeshicha." When it ments in the Refor1n movement. Jew can only welcome this development, comes to the Messiah, the social or polit· At the annual convention of the Cen· can only express hope, extend best wish­ ical manifestations of a fundamental tral Conference of American Rabbis in es, and welcome the potential for addi­ principle of faith can go in two direc· May, 1999, the members voted over­ tional kedusha that these decisions tions at once. Positive and negative: sub- whelmingly to readmit the word" mitz· promise. The etymological distance va" and to encourage the practice of spe­ between mitzva and Metzaveh -com­ Rabbi Hillel Goldberg is executive editor of Den­ ver's Intermountain Jewish News and active in a cific mitzvos that the movement has mand and Commander - is short. wide variety of outreach efforts, including the spurned and often mocked since its Words shape thought. Going all the way ntikveh team of Torah Community Project. beginnings some 180 years ago. !mag· back to Adam's naming the animals, the

The follnwing thoughts have been percolating in my mind these past weeks. To some, they may seem nave~ to some, even questionable. But to me, they reflect an unmistakable reality. I am thus sharing my personal thinking with the readership ofThe Jewish Observei: - RABBI YAAKOV PERWW* e are witness today to a new stirring in the hearts this manifesto with cynicism. We may not be ready with all of Jews that deserves our attention and reflec­ the needed responses, but there is no doubt that teshuva W tion. The quest for truth and the search for mean­ in our day is reaching new frontiers. The story of the teshu­ ingful Jewishness is coming from the most unexpected places, va movement and the successes of kiruv are the story of from those totally estranged from Torah faith and observance. the search and discovery ofTruth and Meaning. That truth, And they are haltingly and confusedly- perhaps subconsciously that admitted "discovery;' is unspokenly being felt in sur­ - calling and beckoning,"irenrnJ> who have awak­ The fact that this expression, this cry, has the official ened to their inner wellsprings and declare openly: Let us imprint of the Reform movement is all the more astonish­ begin to do what Hashem asks of us; let us fulfill His com­ ing, given its ideological denial of Revelation and the sanc­ mandments and thus move a little closer to Him. tity of mesora. But the implicit message of its recently issued Of course, the moral sequence of mitzva observance manifesto is what gives it its historic meaning. is the acceptance of a Divine "Metzaveh." Here is where Is this the voice of the citadel of kePra1 No, it is the voice Jews with faith in Torah Misinai part ways with the heresies of Jews lost in the wilderness.Are these the forces of Devi· of Reform. The call to mitzvos should inherently lead the ationism, seeking another makeshift solution to their (our) callers and followers, if they are serious seekers, to real teshu­ problem of the vanishing Jew! One may so argue. But it is vo, return. The manifesto is therefore only a beginning, albeit much more.Whether articulated or not, these rumblings, this a historic one. Its logic, however, compels the commitment appeal for Shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha (originally that only the Mesora of our fathers can provide. made explicitly, but later deleted), are echoes of the hidden "Ni1j?D'D7:::u-t,l»llW'"t:JJNV:l7ip- I hear a voice in the forest, yearning in the soul of every Jew, as conveyed by chazaf: a father calling his sons;' goes an old Chassidic song. It con­ nt:"V:lv ,,i-w :m>tl 'r.fl "P'J:n rnwv? '!llTrW 1'l!l? V'l'Tfl "l?l n'IJ'rom 1~:ii tinues, "tlTITClVic:1':1il'mt1tOV'i'l£1'1N:'D"l::i - My sons, my sons - "t:J?v ::o'7:11'1'!Yi 'J7lTl ~:mm tn'r.l °ib':m'el' 1'l!f:m 'fU'1 'ii' .rndJD "mV'V! where are you dwelling that you have forgotten me1" Clear­ (Berachos I 7a) - Master of the worlds, it is revealed and known ly, the .,,,,, ?;? is today finding new ears and is striking new before You that our will is to perform Your will; and who chords. It is for us, the world of,,,,,,,.,,,,..,,,,"""',,..,,· who prevents us from performing Your will! - the yeast in the must seek the correct ways, the proper tools, to make the dough and our subjugation to foreign regimes. May it be kol bayar still more increasingly heard, to connect with, and Your will thatYou save us from their hands, and that we return help, and bring to new listeners - and ourselves - to the to perform the statutes ofYour will with a complete heart." ultimate goal: V11<1 ?:l,,,.. ·n = """"· We ma'aminim would be totally remiss in our under­ standing of Hashgacha were we to treat the publication of *The Novominsker Rebbe, N"l"'?v

40 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 power of language has always been a Reform of the Old, Maintaining the New of itself. The Reform preference is the salient axiom for the People of the Book. opposite. It has taken an unprecedent­ All too often in contemporary cul­ nd yet, we do mean different ed step, asei tov, without, however, undo­ ture, the power of language has been things by mitzva. The potential ing its most recent pivotal steps away used not for the good, but for the ill. If A importation of kashrus into the from tradition --without sur me-ra. His­ only a seemingly harmless term can be Reforn1 movement was not accompa­ torically, the present CCAR decision devised for a destructive idea or prac­ nied by the simultaneous exportation of says: much of what we decided well over tice, the horror recedes. For murder, we such fundamentally divisive anti-mitz­ 100 years ago, we now rescind. Howev­ get "end of life decisions:' For unac­ va concepts as patrilineality and deviant er, what we decided 16 years ago (patri­ ceptable deviation) we get ('alternative personal conduct. Reb Yisroel Salanter lineality, 1983) or nine years ago (ordi­ lifestyle:' For abortion, we get "freedom once commented: the order in the nation of "gay" rabbis, 1990), we still of choice:' Same reality, different words verse in Psalms (34, 16), "Depart from uphold. We can see the distant past for - yet, subtly and surely, reality itself evil and do good;' is significant. If one what it was - a mistake - but we can­ changes in people's minds. Terminolo­ departs from evil, the good will take care not say the same for the recent past. We gy is a powerful shaper of reality. In the present instance, however, it is the pos­ itive, traditional, enduring term of holi­ ness that has been resurrected. Mitzva! Subscribe or gi,ve a gi,ft of The CCAR could have chosen other words, in Hebrew or English, but it chose mitzva. True, the CCAR did not go for­ The Jewish Observer ward without considerable controversy. Not all rabbis and certainly not all lay people in the Reform movement are and $ave! ready to embrace the idea and practice of mitzvos. The CCAR president who WHY NOT GIVE OR GET A PRESENT originated the resolution and shep­ THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR? herded it through faced a barrage of crit­ icism and needed to water it down. Still, Subscribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices the background debate to the resolution and The Jewish Observer- filled with the views that actually passed made it clear that the of 1eading Torah thinkers on current issues- \-vill be new Reform use of mitzva is intended to delivered each month, directly to your door. include such basics of Jewish existence The longer you subscribe for, the larger your savings. as kashrus and mikveh. Though they were not named in the final text of the reso­ Of course, this offer is unconditionally guaranteed; lution, everyone in the CCAR knew what you may cancel at any time and receive a refund for it was meant to include. all unde1ivered copies. For anyone who has studied the his­ So order today, and the very next issue will be on tory of the Reform movement, these are welcome and potentially revolutionary its way to you as soon as possible. developments - truly remarkable! J.O. SllBSCRIP'l'Jt.)N SAVINGS CJ<:Jt'l'IFlt~ATE Even if Reform Jews mean different things by the same words we use - words 0 YES, I want to take advantage of this 1noney saving offer! Enter 1ny order as follows: so long associated with Torah and 0 Nl~\V SUBSCHIPTION 0 RENEWAL Q GIFT \Jg •Ol'IBllJ[ halacha - it is possible that the language ONU' 1;M itself, with all of its spiritually rich [] 3 years Cover Price $105 Your cost $60 $96 sonorities and associations, will create 0 2 years Cover Price $70 Your cost $44 $68 bridges between us. It is possible that 0 l year Cover P1ice S:l5 Your c11st $24 $;~6 State~---~Zip ----- Reform Jews have embarked on a deci­ UScnd gifl <'ard from: __, ______sive development - decisive for the good. 0 Enclosed:$ ____ It is possible that the deep divide that Charge my: 0 Mas1t:rCanl CJ \'ISA Suitt' 1200. 84 W'illiam Street. New York, NY 10038 began philosophically with the rejection T/1<• J~11·i.uhl~1/wd ma11th/y rurpr }'11)" a~d .1itgl~ pn year to ,).,fray air .;hippi"t; •·ools. Forejgn rmym~n1 must lw made ill C.S. dnllurs, eilhn hr d1cck practically by the rejection of matrilin­ Signa1urc ______eality will slowly be bridged. drawn nn a lmn~ in th~ l;.S.1\. 01· hy I '/SA or MnqerCard

The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 41 reserve the right to vote I'radition and ations therefrom? for example, can one rev­ Here, one can only say, time will tell. traditions in or out, as we see fit, at any olutionize one's Jewish existence through Whether the power of a new mitzva given time and without reference to kashrus if the value of"alternative lifestyles" adopted is strong enough to attenuate, and internal consistency: is simultaneously affirmed? Clearly at ultimately to cancel, allegiance to a mitz­ All this prompts two basic questions: issue here is the relationship of mitzva to va rejected depends on the psycho-spiritual One, will it take another I 00 years and Metzaveh. Will the Reform movement's nature of each individual. The future, there­ untold spiritual suffering for the Reform affirmation of mitzva lead, as spiritual fore, is uncertain. There is no gainsaying, movement to see the error of such recent integrity dictates, to Metzaveh, and hence however, that it is far more welcome to hear societal blandishments as patrilineality to the excision of the movement's official "mitzva" than bittul mitzva from the inner and deviancy? deviations from the Torah? Or will mitz­ sanctum of the Reform movement. Two - more to the point - will the va merely take on a subjective and spiritual Reform movement be able truly to extract (with a small "s") life of its own - lead­ BREAKTHROUGH OR DEAD-END? the essence of mitzva if, at the same time, ing to some melange of Jewish trappings it continues to legitimate fundamental devi- and New Age sensibilities? am not a demographer, but it is my

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42 The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 methods of child and adolescent in turn bring joy to yours" (see Pesikta upbringing. Counselors on the tele­ d'Rav Kahana to Devarim 16). :\\l83~ phone would encourage parents to use NAME WITHHELD UPON REQUEST ways other than criticism in dealing with . ', , . their adolescent. This would enhance MID DOS TO VOS, LOVE, AND .....~ ...... /~·... ~.[]········- the parent-child relationship and help STRUCTURE ~EU\'\~ prevent further rebelliousness. One final point: Since many dropouts To the Editor: are suffering from years of destructive I greatly appreciate the two articles on POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT TO criticism, it is a 1nitzva to bring them joy, how to imbue our children with middos COMBAT THE DROPOUT DILEMMA as it is to any oppressed person. In tovos - proper character traits - by Dr. exchange, we are assured a reward of hap­ Sorotzkin and Rabbi Finkelman (May To the Editor: piness fro1n Hashem, as it says, "Atta '99). While they both underscored how In reference to the exceptional arti­ mesa1ne'ach es sheli, ani mesame'ach es to convey positive values, decency, and cle, "Where Are We Heading?" (Oct. '98), shelecha - You bring joy to Mine, and I respectable behavior to youngsters Rabbi Aaron Brafman presents the sad facts of the dropout dilemma, "anguish­ es" over Rabbi Bassman's «denial" of the problem, but gives very few practical steps as a solution. Rabbi Brafman men­ tions the type of homes dropouts can occur in, but doesn't say what our lead­ ing Roshei Yeshivas and Rabbanim N"v>?v (of the Agudah Nesius and else­ FREE where) have to say in order to help solve this terrible tragedy. COMPUTER One contributing factor to student dropouts is too little praise on part of the COURSE parent, compounded by unhealthy crit­ For Women Coping On Their Own icism. In fact, many parents aren't even (Widowed, Divorced, Separated) aware of the true Torah hashkafa and their halachic obligations when it comes 30 Hours of Instruction - Day Classes to criticism. To navigate this challenge, For More Information or To Register, perhaps: A) The Agudah or Torah Umesorah could publish a manual for parents, written by well-known chinuch profes­ sionals and Gedolei Yisroel, on the obligation and importance of"positive reinforcement and constructive criti­ cism." The booklet could be sold at a discount. A list of mechanchim, pro­ fessionals and askonim who help for such cases may be included in the book­ let. • Personal Counseling • Medical Referral B) Our leading Roshei Yeshivas in the -=..:i • Crisis Intervention • Emergency Agudah Nesius and askanim in other • Advice and Segulohs

-~---···------The Jewish Observer, Summer 1999 43 LEGAL NOTICE BY ORDER OF THE COURT ------~------To victims of Nazi persecution and their heirs who may have claims against Swiss Banks or other Swiss entities relating to the Holocaust:

All Settlement Classes indude heirs and suc­ not have to personally pay the Court ap­ pointed attorneys. Certain alto!llf'ys will ap­ Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion cessors of the persons and entities described above. ply to the Court for reimbursement of their U.S. doDats to settle legal daims relat­ costs, up to about 2°/o of the Fund. Certain ing to the World Wat II era conduct of Even if you're not sure whether you are a Plaintiffs' attorneys will also apply for fees, Swiss banks, Swiss businesses, and the member of one of the Settlement Classes, up to at most 1.8°/o of the Fund. The Court you should request a Mailed Notice and Ini­ may award a lower amount. Most attorneys Swiss government ("Swiss Entities'?· tial Questionnaire. For example, if you per­ will not apply for fees, and counsel for the formed slave labor, you may not know W)RO will not apply for fees or costs. The United States District Coutt for the whether revenue or proceeds of that labor More lnfbnnation Eastern District of New York (the were deposited with Swiss Entities; you may Getting still be a Settlement Oass member. "Coutt'? will hold a hearing on Novem­ To learn more, fill ouftthe request form be­ bet29, 1999, to decide whether the Settle­ How and When OaiinswiDbePaid low, call toll free 1-888-filS-5483, or visit the ment should be given final approval. website http:/ /www.swissbankclaims.com No claims process or Plan of Allocation has yet been established. The Mailed Notice ex­ r------.. Note that you may be induded even if plains how you can make suggestions. Send me the Mailed Notice you did not have a Swiss bank accoun4 and Initial Questionnaire. and that this Settlementis diffrrent from To receive further notice of a claims process, and ensure that you are able to file a claim, Name the Swiss Humanitatian Fund you must either mail a request for such no­ tice to the address below, or complete and Addre!;o; - . ·------return the Initial Questionnaire attached to the Mailed Notice. Who Is Affected by the Settlement City - If the Court gives final approval of the Settle­ You are affected by the Settlement if you fit ment, a Plan of Allocation will be adopted State _____ ZipCode ____ into one of the following five Settlement and the Fund will be disbursed. Not all Gasses: Four Classes consist of ''Victims or Settlement Oass members who apply will C'oonl!y Targets of Nazi Persecution" (any individual, be eligible to receive payments. business or group persecuted or targeted for Prefena!Language ______persecution by the Nazi Regime or its agents, If Thu Do Not Want to Participate because they were or were believed to be This is NOT a dairn Fonn. Please mail this to: Jewish, or physically or mentally disabled, or If you do not wish to participate in or be Holocaust Victim Assets Litigation - any other group targeted for persecution by bound by the Settlement, you must exclude Information the Nazi regime), AND who: yourself by writing a letter so indicating, to P.O. Box8300 the address given in the Mailed Notice, by San Francisco, CA 94128-8300 l. Had assets on deposit with any Swiss October 22, 1999. If you do not, you will be US-ENC.JOMA bank, investment fund, or other custo~ barred from prosecuting any legal action dian, prior to May 9, 1945, OR against Swiss Entities relating to the settled ~------"' disputes. If you exclude yourself, you will 1-888-635-5483 2. May have claims against Swiss Entities NOT be able to claim a portion of the Fund. relating to assets looted or taken by the www.swissbankclaims.com Nazi Regime*, OR HowtoCommentorObject Scope of Release The Settlement of this case (In re Holocaust Victim Assets 3. Performed slave labor for entities that You may comment on the tenns of the Settle­ 1lligfili.Q!1, Master File No. CV-96-4849) concludes all legal may have deposited the revenues or pro­ actions and disputes against Swiss Entities relating to the ment by October 22, 1999. The Mailed No­ Holocaust, World War II, Victims or Targets of Nazt Perse­ ceeds of that labor with or transacted that tice describes how to submit comments or cution, the Nazi Regime, treatment of refu&ees, or anr, re­ profit through Swiss Entities, OR objections. You have the right to appear at lated thing. The term "Swiss Entities" (or Releasees') in­ cludes Credit Suisse and UBS AG (successor to Union Bank the November 29, 1999 hearing in person or of Switzerland and Swiss Bank Corporation), and their 4. Unsuccessfully sought entry into Switzer­ through counsel, although you do not have former and current corporate parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, land to avoid Nazi persecution, or after and branches; the Swiss National Bank; other Swiss Banks; to. the Swiss Bankers Association; the Swiss Confederation (in­ gaining entry, were mistreated, and may cluding the Swiss government); al! business concerns head­ have related claims against any Swiss WboRepresents lbu quartered, organiied or incorporated in Switzerland as of October 3, 1996; and certain other affiliates of Swiss con­ Entity. cerns described in the Mailed Notice. Certain claims against The Court appointed attorneys as Settlement various Swiss insurance companies listed in the Mailed The fifth Settlement Class includes any in­ Class Counsel, and appointed Settlement Notice are not included in this Settlement. dividual, whether or not a Victim or Target Class Representatives, including Holocaust • The second Settlement Class also includes claims against of Nazi Persecution, who performed slave survivors, the World Jewish Restitution Or­ Swiss Entities relating to "Cloaked Assets," which are as­ labor in a work site, wherever located, sets disguised by a Swiss Entity for the benefit of an Axis ganization ("W)RO"), and the World Coun­ company or person associated with the Nazi Regime, be­ owned or controlled by a Swiss Entity. cil of Orthodox Jewish Conununities. You do tween 1933 and 1946. through exemplary conduct - by indi­ tionship with children is not simply a Once agam, JO has succeeded in rection, if you will - they both com­ touchy-feely thing. It involves having inspiring and instructing your readers municated another, complementary high standards, conveying them, and in a most sti1nulating manner. message in a more subtle way: the par­ expecting the kids to live up to them - AVI ISAACS ent and teacher must be disciplined in within the limits of reason, to be sure. Brooklyn their own conduct, and should have - where applicable- non-negotiable stan­ dards. For example, Dr. Sorotzkin refers to circumstances that call "for direct intervention," in which case he calls for "a glance, a gentle comment or For careful attention to your a friendly pat on the cheek to redirect a individual needs, call us today! child's attention to his Siddur:' A muted response - perhaps; but unyielding in (914) 354-8445 adhering to standards, nonetheless. 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