FREE Lodging • Shopping The Conch Republic Dining • Entertainment OCONUT ELEGRAPH TCHE COCONUT TELEGRAPH IS PROUD TO BE THE OFFICIAL NEWSPA T PER OF THE NORTHERNMOST TERRITORIES OF THE CONCH REPUBLIC

101425 Overseas Hwy. • PMB #628 • Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305-304-2837 • www.theconchtelegraph.com • March 2016

Inside:

Attractions “Guy Ate Here!” (at Cafe Largo) Art Box Keeps on Growing

What’s Hot & What’s Not Mourning the losses of John McKinna and Kay Thacker

Maps Key Largo Locator Map Page Getting from Here to There

All the Buzz Coco-Nut Funnies Conch Characters Sounds of the Keys Business in the Keys Mangrove Galley

Rest in peace, John McKinna! This amazing, multi-talented artist, musician and writer surprised and sad- dened our community with his unexpected passing in February. More about John inside on page 7.

Chris O’Leary: March 5 Chris’ O’Leary was lead singer & front man for Levon Helm’s band, The Barnburners. He lights up the stage!! Harper & Midwest Kind: ON THE BEACH • MM 99.5 BAYSIDE March 11 & 12 KEY LARGO • 305-451-3380 Didgeridoo, Harmonica, World Blues Fusion! Live Music • Happy Hour • Sunset World class entertainers, in Key Largo on the beach. Biscuit Miller & It doesn’t get any better than this! The Mix: March 19 Look for ad inside or check the calendar at keylargo-baysidegrill.com for all of our live music on the beach. Well respected and always a fun show. 2 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 3 Coconut Telegraph Cast of Characters: Articles ALERT: There’s ice on the road in South Florida March 2016 Editorial: IRS Scam Alert...... 2 Please drive safely! Volume 10 Issue #109 Editor/Sales/Distribution St. Patrick’s Day Fun Facts...... 4 Prestige Publishing, Inc Denise Malefyt Adopt An Animal, Key Largo Shelter...... 6 101425 Overseas Highway 305-304-2837 John McKinna, We Mourn the Loss of a Great Man...... 7 PMB #628 [email protected] Key Largo, FL 33037 Cafe Largo: Guy Ate Here...... 9 Deadline Advertising Production Kay Thacker...... 11 for the Sue Beal Getting from Here to There - Keys Map Page...... 12-13 Coconut Telegraph’s 305-451-4601 Mangrove Galley: Chicken with Mustard Tarragon Sauce...... 14 next issue is beal_s @bellsouth.net Conch Characters...... 15 Wednesday, March 23, 2016 Art Box: Big Things in Little Boxes...... 16 Contact Denise at Notice: We do not mail out Coco“Nut” Funnies...... 18-19 the Coconut Telegraph and 305-304-2837 Classified Ads...... 19 we do not sell subscriptions. [email protected] Key Largo Locator Map Page...... 20 It is available for free online at www.theconchtelegraph.com. Sounds of the Keys...... 21

For comments please visit The Paraprosdokians...... 21 Conch Telegraph on Facebook. Business in the Keys...... 22

Daily OM: Signs - Universal Messages...... 23

Editorial: IRS Scam Alert! Salvation Army Family Store Marshall Walker, owner they already have much of Tourist season is here. MM 99 Bayside SHOP • DONATE of H & R Block in Key Largo, your personal information, Keep yourself safe and re- Key Largo told me about a recent scam credit information, family member to always lock your that has affected many and neighbors’ names, etc. car. people in the Upper Keys. They instruct people to use Locals - Do not consign Someone posing as an IRS a credit card or to go to your items with anyone who agent calls and says that you the bank and send them the will not give you a contract owe the IRS a sum of money money immediately while and a list of your items. If Go to a professional, try H&R Block. and that you need to pay it they stay on the phone. they refuse to give you a list, You’ll sleep better! Open 8 am - 10 pm daily. now or face serious charges. H & R Block has gotten take your items and leave! If When you answer the phone, many calls from people who you have antiques, take them the product. The creepo can- have been scammed out to Jacobsen’s in Homestead Visit the store, or call 305-872-5744 for prompt and courteous pickup of their money. Marshall vas guy refuses to answer my and you will receive a check friend’s calls. Not a surprise. Walker asked me to let the when your items sell. If you public know that the IRS Before you hire someone do Locals’ Discount! have jewelry, take it to Coral a quick investigation on the We Come to You! would never call you. Walker Financial & Pawn at MM 103. says “If you receive such a Monroe County Sheriff’s web- KEY LARGO, FL Check out their other fine site via Clerk of the Court. call you should hang up im- items too. New Tire Sales mediately and report it to How often have they been Available 24/7 the Monroe County Sheriff’s Boat owners - a friend of sued? Ask a local where they office. Do not under any mine gave a canvas shop in Key got their work done. Go to circumstances give the scam- Largo a check for $1,000 to local marinas and ask who has 35 Years Experience mer any information.” make him a boat cover 2 years the best reputation and pro- ago and has still not received vides quality workmanship. BRYAN WHEATON Thank you Mr. Walker. Disclaimer B && B Cell: (305) 942-6325 The Coconut Telegraph © 2006-2016 is published monthly by Prestige Publishing, INC. All Telegraph assumes in good faith that all editorial and advertising material submitted are B B Home: (305) 453-0815 rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent of the original property of the advertiser. The Coconut Telegraph may not be held responsible the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph welcomes written articles, photos, and artwork of for errors, omissions, or for circumstances beyond our control that may affect the distribution local interest to be used and/or edited at the discretion of the publisher. The Coconut schedule. MOBILEMOBILE TIRETIRE SESERRVICEVICE Mastercard & Visa Accepted 4 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 5 ST PATRICK‛S DAY FUN FACTS Specializing in Prefab/Manufactured/Mobile Home and RVs. Patented Engineered Roof. If It Seems Like Guinness is St. Patrick's Day Rakes in a Lot of Everywhere, it is! Green Approximately 13 million pints of The average amount American Guinness will be consumed St. Patrick’s Day revelers will worldwide on St. Patrick's Day. spend this holiday is $36.52 per person, for a combined $4.6 Drowning the Shamrock Refers to billion, according to a report by Trefoils the National Retail Federation. The phrase “drowning the sham- rock” comes from the tradition in “Everyone is Irish” on St. Patrick's which a shamrock worn on the Day, but 33.3 Million Really Are lapel for the holiday was tossed According to the most recent into the last drink of the evening. census data, 33.3 million U.S. residents claim Irish ancestry, St. Patrick's Day Beers Were which is seven times Ireland's Forbidden for Decades in Ireland total population From 1903 until 1970 all pubs were closed on the holiday due There are No Female Leprechauns to religious observances. If Irish folk tales are to be believed, the mystical beings are The Shamrock is Not the Symbol expressly male. of Ireland. That honor goes to the harp. Beantown Started the Party in U.S. Now a popular icon of the The first St. Patrick's Day celebra- holiday, the shamrock was used tion took place in America in by St. Patrick to teach the Holy Boston, Massachusetts, in 1737. Trinity.

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MM 99.2 Bank Capital HOMESTEAD AV EAST DRIVE The Post Fire needs your NOW SERVING PIZZA! Station

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OCEAN BAY DRIVE OCEAN BAY Pilot 2 Seagate Boulevard • MM 99.6 • Key Largo • 305-451-0307 House 6 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 7

4-7 John McKinna: Community and Friends Mourn the Loss of a Great Man Voted Best Happy Hour in the Keys! Daily John McKinna's accom- “John McKinna was Opera- Fresh, Local plishments during the time tions Manager/Technical HOME OF THE that he was with us on this Supervisor of the Jules‛ Glass Bottom Bar™ SEAFOOD earth were astonishing. Most Undersea Lodge habitat. He our specialty! of his close friends and the was responsible for all sys- people who knew him were in tems relating to the upkeep awe of him, this writer and underwater management. included. Here is what some He had served in that capac- Join us for of his friends had to say. ity since 2002, and along with his wife Teresa, was one-half EASTER of the team that kept JUL/KLUP operating safely The Pilot House Restaurant is a local's favorite and a and effectively well into the Key Largo landmark. You can choose to dine outside at 21st century. ” our waterfront Glass Bottom Bar™ overlooking our five-star marina. Or, if you’re looking for a more private “A former offshore experience consider dining indoors in air-conditioned oilfield commercial diver with comfort. Check out our Local’s a 20-year career in deep-gas All dining experiences offer a selection of beer, wine, Loyalty Program: diving, focusing on construc- cocktails, fresh local seafood and shellfish prepared Get your tion and repair of oil produc- a variety of ways, a full raw bar, a broad choice of Pilot’s License tion and drilling platforms appetizers, sandwiches, prime rib and desserts. For The whole family worldwide, his skills and expe- the little ones we have a full Kids’ menu. today! will love it! John was a commercial diver rience made him ideally suited for 20 years. to manage the unique require- 13 Seagate Blvd., Key Largo, MM 99.6, 305-451-3142 ments of the world‛s only “John was not only a fine remaining operational habitat www.pilothousemarina.com fb.com/pilothousekeylargo musician, but also a sailor, from the Golden Age of Diving commercial diver/welder, oil of the 1960s and early 70s.” well firefighter and best- year-round residents of Key selling author. He was a pro- Largo and enjoyed spearfish- fessional musician for forty ing, snorkeling, diving, sailing, Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet years. He played lead guitar, and kayaking whenever their Meet a few of the animals who are currently available for adoption at the Key Largo Animal Shelter. If you are interested in taking one of bass guitar, banjo, drums and busy schedules would permit.” these adorable furry friends home, stop by or call. The Shelter is located at mile marker 106 Oceanside; phone 305-451-0088. flute. During what he described as his classic rock “Author, Artist, musician, Editors note: John Mckinna was also a syndicated period (from 1974 to 1982), soldier, son, husband... and too cartoonist and the Coconut he played with three bands. many more to mention... one of John and Teresa were featured the most brilliant and inter- Telegraph has been running They toured throughout the his cartoons every month for on the cover of the Coconut esting men I have had the northeast and midwest US, as several years. Over the last 2 Telegraph in 2012, with an article pleasure to know. I'll miss his well as Canada. The group about Jules Undersea Lodge. years Sue Beal, myself and produced eight albums during wicked sense of humor hiding John collaborated to publish under a genuine kindness. A a book written by Sue titled that time.” “John was an internation- truly authentic old soul. Gone "You might have Keys ally published author, with six too soon.“ Disease…" and John drew Sugar & Spice bestselling novels to his and donated the cartoons Holly credit, including three popular A Celebration of Life for for this. Our original goal diving thrillers and three John is planned to take place was to donate our proceeds WWII historical novels. He at the Island Grill Mandalay in to a scholarship for local and his wife Teresa were musicians but we recently Jack GiGi Rocky the near future. changed it to starting a fund for local musicians in need, because so many of them do not have medical insur- ance and need help when they cannot work. 100% of proceeds from this book will begin that fund through the Elks Club. Future plans John McKinna was the acclaimed author of six novels, available on include concerts for the Amazon: Crash Dive, Tiger Reef, and Shark Lake, under his own name, Upper Keys Musicians Fund. and writing as John Mannock there are three more: The Sen-Toku Oliver Kiki Jewel Stewie Sponsorships are needed. Raid, Iron Coffin and The War Mountains. 8 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 9

H&R Block puts the ‘fun’ in Refund Season. They initiated an industry Cafe Largo: Guy Ate Here! first – awarding $1 million a day to randomly slected early filers for the first month of tax season. It was called the 1000 Win $1000 Daily sweepstakes. A total of 32,000 people won a combined $32 million. All they had to do was file their taxes with H&R Block! H&R Block Gave Away $1 Million a Day for 32 Days, and four lucky locals won $1,000 each! Fieri and the crew were very interested in Robert’s state-of-the- CONGRATULATIONS!! art pasta machine.

99530 Overseas Hwy Key Largo, FL 33037 305.451.4885 Danielle Matthews Dawn Jones SWITCH TO BLOCK DiGiorgiosCafeLargo.com AND PAY HALF WHAT YOU PAID Fresh lobster for the pasta dish. SOMEONE ELSE LAST YEAR. Key Largo restauranteur Dinner: Impossible, Paula's pasta maker; they'd never OFFER PERIOD FEB. 22 – MARCH 31, 2016 Robert DiGiorgio, owner of Party, , and seen one like it. Robert was TRADEWINDS SHOPPING CENTER, 101411 OVERSEAS HWY Cafe Largo and Bayside The Best Thing I Ever Ate. happy to demonstrate the KEY LARGO, FL 33037 305-451-2562 Grille, was surprised to be Last fall, Robert DiGior- restaurant's fresh pasta

Subject to $100 minimum charge. Offer valid for income tax return preparation fees for new clients nominated to be on The Food gio was contacted by Citizen making process for them. Mary Albert Jeremiah Johnson only. A new client is an individual who did not use H&R Block office services to prepare his or her Robert and his father 2014 tax return. Valid receipt for 2014 tax preparation fees from tax preparer other than H&R Network‛s popular show, Pictures to ask if he was As the nation’s leading tax preparation company, H&R Block gets you Block must be presented prior to completion of initial tax office interview. May not be combined Diners, Drive-Ins and interested in Cafe Largo Pasquale, founder of all the the most money back at tax time, guaranteed. with other offers. At participating offices only. Offer period Feb. 22 – March 31, 2016. To qualify, tax return must be paid for and filed during this period. OBTP#B13696 ©2015 HRB Tax Group, Inc. Dives. The show, which has being a part of the Diners, DiGiorgio family restaurants been running on the network Drive-Ins and Dives show. since 1968, were treated to since 2007 features Guy He was interviewed and filled the excitement of getting to Fieri as the host. out paperwork. They looked know Guy, filming the seg- Plating the lobster pasta dish. In 2010, the New York at 10 dishes made at the ment, and seeing how the TV Times reported that Fieri local restaurant, also known show is made. It will air on brought an "element of as “Key Largo‛s Little Italy.” the on March rowdy, mass-market culture Ultimately, Cafe Largo was 25, on ‛s Diners, to American food television", chosen! Drive In's & Dives, Episode and that his "prime-time On November 30th, the DV2405H. Don't miss it!! shows attract more male restaurant closed for the Stop by and try the chop!! viewers than any others on day, and the crew filmed for And the amazing fresh the network." 12 hours. The menu creation pasta!! Tell them the Coconut Fieri began his Food that will be featured on the Telegraph sent you! The amazing veal chop! Network career in 2006, TV show is Robert‛s signa- after winning the second ture dish, the Veal Chop season of The Next Food Cutlet Florentine. It's a Network Star. He was bone-in veal chop cutlet, awarded a six-episode com- roasted in olive oil with mitment for his own cooking layers of prosciutto and show on Food Network. Guy's mozzarella, and a mushroom- Big Bite, which premiered in marsala wine sauce. It is 2006, and continues to the served over sautéed spinach present day. Diners, Drive- and mushroom risotto. (This Ins and Dives, his second writer calls it the “Over the series, premiered in 2007, Top Chop” and it is her with Fieri traveling the coun- favorite dish on the Cafe try visiting local eateries. His Largo menu!) Ultimate Recipe Showdown, On December 4th, Guy debuted in 2008 and aired Fieri joined the crew for for three seasons. Fieri has more filming. Guy and the appeared on other Food crew were very interested in Network programs such as DiGiorgio‛s state-of-the-art Robert and Pasquale DiGiorgio, proud owners, with Guy Fieri. 10 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 11 KEYS PARASAIL & WAVE RUNNERS Key Largo Bay Marriott Beach Resort, 103800 Overseas Hwy. Special www.keysparasail.com Transportation 305-731-9472 Services ARE available to anyone, from MM 50 North, who qualifies under ADA rules. Miami-Dade Transit provides services from the Keys to medical centers in Miami-Dade County. Jetski & Boat Eco Tours Remembering Kay Thacker Sunset Cruises Call Miami-Dade Paratransit Operations office at Long-standing community leader and good friend to many, Kay Thacker Stand Up Paddleboards 786-469-5000 (305-263-5475 for TTY Users) and passed away in late February after a courageous battle with cancer. Boat Rentals request an application. She was a strong woman, smart and gutsy, and she will be greatly missed for all she did and all she gave. The Legion is now an official This is not a Monroe County Government service. Keys Adventures American Legion Riders Canteen. Born in 1945 in Pikeville, owners, and Secretary of NJ Marinaro KY, Kay moved to Indiana in Sexton Cove Property Owners Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill, 104000 Overseas Highway $25 membership fee, join now. [email protected] 1950, and raised her family in Association. In her time in www.keysadventureswatersports.com 2 Seagate Boulevard • MM 99.6 Greenwood, IN. She had been Greenwood, Indiana she was Key Largo • 305-451-0307 coming to the Keys since 1965 instrumental in founding and 305-731-9472 and moved to Key Largo per- maintaining the Center Grove manently in 1989. Little League and Center Kay‛s parents were Gene Grove Bantam Football League and Carolyn Damron, who where she served for several preceded her in death. She is years as Treasurer. survived by her husband, John After earning her degree Tina’s Terrific! Groothand, her sons, Tim in Liberal Arts from the Thacker, of Jacksonville, FL University of Indianapolis she Spring Fling HOME OF THE ORIGINAL TUNA NACHOS benefitting MARC, Inc. and Todd Thacker, of Lake became the Vice President of Mary, FL and her daughters- Sales with Metal Honing, Inc. Specializing in in-law Carrie and Danielle, her Upon arrival in Key Largo, she JOIN US Stop by the half brothers, Gene Damron worked as a beautician at the Color & and Gary Hunt, and her half Ocean Reef Club and later at Island Grill! MARCH 16 • 5-8PM Highlights sister Nancy Taylor. She had the Key Largo Anglers Club. AT THE COCONUT COVE RESORT 7 grandchildren: Sarah, Jacob She owned her own beauty and the Latest What a great way to enjoy the season! and Cole Ponder, Emma, Kylie, salon, Casa de Kay, in the late Haircut Trends Mathew and Elizabeth 1960s and early 70s. Food • Live Music • Dancing! Lunch & Dinner served daily at both locations. Thacker Kay was a “ray of sun- $15 SUGGESTED DONATION AT THE DOOR INCLUDES Breakfast served daily at the Kay had a passion for Key shine,” a loving wife, mother, APPETIZERS FROM LOCAL RESTAURANTS. Offering BEVERAGES WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE. Islamorada location only. Largo and Monroe Co., and was grandmother, a great friend Cinderella very involved in the inner to many, and a great advocate www.upperkeysbpw.org SPONSORED BY: CENTENNIAL BANK, WINN-DIXIE Hair Extensions workings of the local govern- for keeping the Keys beauti- VIC’S AUTO TECH, and the SHERIFF’S DEPT. Check in at the Island Grill and say hello. Silent Auction! ment while being a frequent ful! In lieu of flowers please Presented in conjunction with We look forward to seeing you! contributor to the editorial make donations to THE UPPER KEYS BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL WOMEN Free Consulation MARC thanks Paul and Magda at The Coconut Cove Resort, section of our local papers. VNA/Hospice of the Florida Centennial Bank, Winn-Dixie, the Sheriff’s Department and Vic’s Auto Tech She spoke truth to officials Keys. Lunch & Dinner served daily at both locations. for their generous donations towards the Spring Fling. as she saw it, she to spoke on The family thanks every- If you would also like to join us as a sponsor please call The Monroe Association for Breakfast served daily at the ReMARCable Citizens behalf of many residents. one for their thoughts and Corinne at (305) 852-3282 or visit our Thrift Store at MM 90 in Tavernier. MARCHouse.org Islamorada location only. Kay was the President of prayers over these last six The Monroe Association for ReMARCable Citizens is a non-pro t agency that serves adult clients within Monroe County who have developmental disabilities See Tina at Linda Lee’s Hairport that include intellectual disabilities (I.Q. 69 or below), cerebral palsy, spina bi da, Prader-Willi Syndrome, and traumatic brain injury sustained prior to age 18. GREAT ENTERTAINMENT Friends of the Key Largo years as Kay battled cancer. MARC provides numerous services for their clients. These services are designed to insure that each client receives training and support that enhances his or her individual abilities to understand daily community routines and learn social, self-care, vocational skills and help to increase a client’s ability to develop 103200 Overseas Hwy (Plaza 103, by Num Thai) Cultural Center, VP of Exter- A celebration of life was held friendships with non-disabled persons. Island Grill at Mandalay • MM 97.5 • Ocean View M.A.R.C., Inc. is a 501(c)(3) Non-Pro t Organization providing life services for Monroe County residents with Developmental Disabilities. NOW nal Affairs for Island of Key on Feb. 27 at the Murray “A copy of the of cial registration and nancial information may be obtained from the Division of Consumer Services by calling toll-free (800-435-7352) WITH TWO Island Grill at Snake Creek • MM 85.5 •Beach Setting within the state. Registration does not imply endorsement, approval, or recommendation by the state.” 451-3455 Key Largo Islamorada Largo Federation of Home- Nelson Center. LOCATIONS: 305 852-0595 305 664-8400 12 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 13 Super Cool ! Now in Key Largo! “The Place where Nutritious Meets Delicious” THE MINDFUL MERMAID CAFE Ballyhoo’s has NOW SERVING BREAKFAST More than “just another Oct. 15-May 15 ice cream shop!” OPEN MON-SAT, 9 to 5 Made to order Snow & King Crabs got the Crabs! and ash frozen FEATURING with liquid nitrogen... Breakfast Sandwiches while you watch! 305-852-0822 & Burritos Book your next event! Our other store is in Islamorada: MM 82.7 Bayside Make Your Own Omelette Open to the Public • Capacity 250 • Event Planning Available www.BallyhoosRestaurant.com OPEN NOW - MM 99.6 OCEANSIDE, Hall Rental - call 305-852-1872 . Decorating & MM 97.8 • In the Median Bacon - Sausage - Ham Catering Packages - call Joyce 305-619-2259 KEY LARGO - Next to Divers Direct Veggie Omelettes Best Breakfast Buffet in Town Steak Dinner First Sunday of the Month March 12 Mar 6 • Apr 3 Don’t miss it! FRESH FRUIT Patio service from 10am. SMOOTHIES & JUICES Cocktails available. Easter Egg ORGANIC TEAS St. Patrick's Day, Hunt & COFFEES SALADS ORGANIC March 17 Easter Sunday, March 27 GF & UEGAN Corned Beef & Cabbage Party 1pm, for Monroe Co. FRESH SOUPS EGG SALAD, kids up to age 9. MENU ITEMS + Bake Sale for “kids to camp” SANDWICHES HUMMUS & We now have gluten-free FISH FRY & KARAOKE Fridays • BINGO Sundays, 5-7 pm KIDS MENU TABBOULEH bread & wraps! LINE DANCE CLASSES Mondays, 5:30 • ZUMBA GOLD Wednesdays, 5:30 Call in your order! 305-451-2929 More info: 305-852-1872 MM 101.4 IN THE PUBLIX PLAZA MM 92.6 Bayside • Tavernier Menu & More: www.floridakeyselks1872.com Like us on Facebook! elkstavernierlodge WWW.THEMINDFULMERMAID.COM

Come by Land or Sea • In the Garden Cove Marina Enjoy Casual Waterfront Dining at its Finest! Waterfront Dining • Indoors or Ourdoors • Open 7 Days • Champagne Sunday Brunch FEATURING • Fresh, Local Seafood FRESH FLORIDA • Steaks & Ribs • Conch Chowder LOBSTER & Key Lime Pie

305-453-3746 • buzzardsroostkeylargo.com MM 106.5 Oceanside 21 Garden Cove Dr. • Key Largo Southern Fried Chicken 1/2 Chicken All-You-Can Eat Chicken & Dinner $18 choice of unlimited side $22 Tuesdays & Wednesdays AFTER 5 PM at Ballyhoo’s, after 5 Succulent, crispy deep-fried chicken served piping hot with cool, spicy watermelon, and Honey-Tabasco sauce for dipping, choice of a side, homemade breads, butter & jam. 305.852.0822 • MM 97.8 in the Median BallyhoosRestaurant.com 14 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 15

CHICKEN WITH A MUSTARD TARRAGON SAUCE Conch Characters The Mangrove Galley 4 boneless chicken breasts by Sandi Mieszczenski 1 ½ tablespoons butter Sandi’s recipes are featured monthly in the Coconut Telegraph. 2 finely chopped shallots For previous issues go to http://www.theconchtelegraph.com. 1/3 cup white wine 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard ½ cup heavy whipping cream 2 ½ tablespoons chopped fresh tarragon

Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken breasts and cook through on both sides (about 5 minutes per side.) Dr. Lu Elaine Johnson's birthday Bash Happy birthday Dr. Lu! The Seafood Festival was a huge success, bringing over 10,000 people to the Keys. Transfer the chicken to a platter and tent with foil to keep warm.

Saute the shallots in the same skillet for 1 minute. Add the wine and mustard to the pan and bring to a simmer. Add the cream and 1 1/2 tablespoons of the tarragon. Simmer, stirring often about 3 minutes. Chicken is a staple in our house. There are many ways that one can prepare this tasty bird, and so many great recipes out there. Return the chicken breasts to the skillet and heat through. Cooking a chicken breast requires you to add spices, flavors, and perhaps a sauce to flavor the meat. This recipe contains all three. Season the dish with salt and pepper to the taste. Serve the It is an easy dish to assemble on the stove top and very tasty. chicken breasts with the sauce and sprinkle on the remaining Serve with wild rice and a green vegetable. Enjoy! tarragon. A Florida Powerboat Club model takes a break for a photo shoot. Anyone can stop by for lunch and see these amazing boats when they visit. Busy night at the Big Chill. Photo by Melanie Malefyt.

The largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! 305-451-1133 107900 Overseas Hwy www.gilbertsresort.com FEATURED SUNDAY BANDS HAPPY HOUR Key Largo local "Walk Around Ron" MONDAY THRU FRIDAY stops by Gilbert's Resort everyday, since 1984, to check out the fish and wildlife at Gilbert's. If there is a $2 Bud Light & Miller Lite Drafts story about it, Ron knows it. Say hi to Beautiful sunset at the Big Chill. Photo by Melanie Malefyt. Eric Vihlen also had a good time Ron when you see him! at Dr. Lu's party! 1/2 o Well Drinks and Sunday, March 6 Sunday, March 12 LUKE SOMMER GLENN MAKING FACES $2.50 Fireball Shots! 1-6 PM BAND 1-6 PM Sunday Debut JOIN US AT THE Sunday Debut BIGGEST TIKI BAR IN THE KEYS!

Country Night! Sunday, March 20 Sunday, March 27 First Friday of the Month MR. NICE GUY THE REGS Friday, March 4th, 7-11 pm 1-6 PM 1-6 PM Featuring COWBOY UP Blind Wounded Warriors visited the American Legion A seaplane prepares to tie up at Gilbert's dock. Staff Favorite Locals’ Favorite in Key largo in February. You never know what you will see at Gilbert's Photo by Rob LeBrun. COLOR PAGE

16 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 17 The Art Box: Big Things in Little Boxes

Jon and Joanna Dreaver have been the owners of The Art Box for more than five years, and over the years the store has acquired many faces, providing many ser- vices, from artist supplies to shipping... and even an art gallery with a frame shop! And of course,it's also a Proud of their accomplishment. place to take art classes. The Wine and Paint has a It is hard to believe that similar effect, except the this small store can pack in kids are just bigger! Many of Jon and Johanna Dreaver have many framing options for you! so many essential services, the adults have spent their or that they would work well lives thinking they couldn't Jon and Joanna look for- together, but Jon and paint, until they sit down, let ward to all the great changes. Joanna have made their the wine take the edge off They say that it has been an little store a functioning and just start painting. More evolving shop since the day work of art. often than not, they are they opened the door. If The art classes held at more shocked and proud of you're looking for any fram- The Art Box are hosted by their creations than the ing, or are interested in an various local artist instruc- children. art class, or in booking a tors like Gloria Avner and private wine and paint party, Jim Mahla as well as owner stop in at Plaza 101 at MM Adults who paint for the first time and artist Jon Dreaver. 100 or give The Art Box a call are often more proud of it than at 305-451-5461. the kids!

JON & JOANNA DREAVER

ART CLASSES • ART SUPPLIES Gloria Avner with one of her classes. RESTORATION • MATTING & FRAMING FRAMING SUPPLIES • CANVAS STRETCHING James Mahla teaches watercolor. Recently The Art Box has grown more into a framing FEATURED ARTISTS Jon has been having fun store than anything else. Checkout our teaching the Friday night Island Decor located in Tav- FULL ONLINE STORE: www.ArtBoxKeyLargo.com ‘Wine and Paint‛ classes for ernier has closed the retail adults, and the Saturday kids and framing aspect of the WITH KEY LARGO PACK & SHIP classes, for quite some time. business, but owner Shanti Jon chooses these two classes Cope will be continuing to to teach because he says that work with interior design Trust a Professional! while working with the kids clients from her new office it's amazing to watch their located next door to where LOW COST PACKING MATERIALS/BOXES creative process at work. the gallery was. With the SHIPPING: FREIGHT & INTERNATIONAL There is no end to the imagi- gallery and the framing studio CRATING & SHRINK WRAPPING nation the kids bring, and with closed, Shanti wants to ensure the right instruction, it's that her customers continue FAX • PRINT • SCANNING • LAMINATING rewarding to see the end of a to receive great quality care Plus! COLOR COPIES • DIGITAL ARCHIVING great project... when the little and attention, so Island artists hold up their com- Decor‛s customer base is 100650 Overseas Hwy 305-451-5461 pleted paintings so proudly transferring to The Art Box Key Largo 33037 [email protected] for their photographs. for their framing needs. 18 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 19 THE NEWEST DIET I’m Aging Gracefully!!! A woman was terribly over- Coco‘Nut’ Funnies weight, so her doctor put her I changed my car horn to a gun- The biggest lie I tell myself is... “I on a diet. shot sound. People move out of don’t need to write that down, I’ll the way much faster now! remember it.” “I want you to eat regularly for You know that tingly little feeling My people skills are just fine. It’s my two days, then skip a day, and you get when you really like some- tolerance of idiots that needs repeat this procedure for two one? That’s common sense leav- working on.

weeks. The next time I see you, ing your body. If God wanted me to touch my I am guessing that you will have I don’t like making plans for the toes, he would’ve put them on my lost at least five pounds.” day because then the word “pre- knees.

meditated” gets thrown around in When the woman returned, she The kids text me “plz” which is the courtroom. shocked the doctor by losing shorter than please. I text back nearly twenty pounds. I didn’t make it to the gym today. “no” which is shorter than “yes.”

That makes five years in a row. “Why, that’s amazing!” the I’m going to retire and live off of doctor said. “Did you follow my I decided to change calling the my savings. Not sure what I’ll do bathroom the John and renamed the second week. instructions?” it the Jim. I feel so much better say- I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty The woman nodded. “I’ll tell you ing I went to the Jim this morning. sure my wife took it! LADY’S YEARLY EXAM though, I thought I was going Last year I joined a support group I went to the doctor for my yearly Even duct tape can’t fix stupid... to drop dead that third day.” for procrastinators. We haven’t physical. The nurse starts with cer- but it can muffle the sound! met yet... tain basics... “From hunger, you mean?” Why do I have to press one for I don’t need anger management. I “What do you weigh?” she asks. “No, from skipping.” English when you’re just gonna need people to stop irritating me! “135,” I say. Thank you Thad Bowling transfer me to someone I can’t When I was a child I thought nap understand anyway? The nurse puts me on the scale. It time was a punishment. As a grown- turns out my weight is 180. Of course I talk to myself! Some- up, it feels like a small vacation! times I need expert advice. The nurse asks, “Your height?” “5 foot 4,” I say. The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5’2’. JOHN McKINNA was a local musician, a best-selling author, and a She then takes my blood pressure published, syndicated cartoonist. We feature his cartoons monthly. If people are talking and tells me it is very high. about you behind your ‘Of course it’s high!’ I scream, ‘When I came in here I was tall and Thank you Trader Dick! COCONUT back, just fart! slender! Now I’m short and fat!’ TELEGRAPH CLASSIFIEDS She put me on Prozac. BUYING SERVICES SAFETY

Buyers agent is House Cleaning The USCG Auxiliary call Danielle buying old things. conducts vessel safety 305-393-2728 Costume jewelry, checks at Blackwater furniture, antiques DONATE Sound Marina, and anything old MM 103.8 Bayside, of value. The Salvation Army every third Saturday Call now and leave in Key Largo of the month. message needs furniture. The Public is Welcome. 305-304-2837 Thank you Trader Dick! Call 305-872-5744 More info: 305-998-8400 LOCAL’S FAVORITE! Best-kept secret for 30 years! WE BUY COINS CLUBS No collection too large Keys Eating at Its Finest... or too small. We pay Fraternal Order GET CLASSIFIED Overlooking the Water FRIDAY FISH FRY of the Eagles cash on the spot and $10 per col.inch per month! meets every (generous 1.88 column width) ALL YOU CAN EAT we offer private 1st and 3rd Monday Bold Listing $12./inch per mo. consultation in our The $12.95 7pm at Elks Lodge CLASSIFIEDS MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE location or yours. in Tavernier. Hideout 5-9 PM • Bev. Incl. Classified Display Space Call Bill at Florida Keys Orchid, Fern available for logos and special Restaurant artwork. $15/inch. —Daily Specials— 305.942.0911. and Bromeliad Society Drop off your ad and payment at 305-451-0128 Breakfast Served ‘til 2PM Daily meets the 3rd Thurs. of Classified ads will not The UPS STORE every month at Key Largo 7 Days a Week - 6 AM to 2 PM & Friday Nights 5-9 PM be accepted without 101425 Overseas Highway, payment. Library Comm. Room 7pm. Next to Publix at Tradewinds MM 103.5 • Oceanside (Transylvania Ave. to the End) Open to public. 451-3000 Questions? Call 305•304•2837. 20 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 21

Open Late! Sounds of the Keys

522 Caribbean Drive • 305.453.1905 Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Live Music Featuring Fresh Local Fish Happy Hour Every Day Craft Beer Locals’ Favorite! On the Water Sports Headquarters A ON THE MAP Cape Cod's popular entertainer Michael Holler See jimmy Ray every Harry French has been playing in Tim Charron made The Sauce Boss struts entertained at Tuesday evening the Upper Keys for 26 years. a rare appearance his stuff at Gilbert's Resort. Dr. Lu’s birthday party. at the Big Chill. See him at Gilbert's every at the Pilot House! Photo: Rob LeBrun. Wed. night ‘til Easter.

D ON THE MAP

24-HR. You Can Trust The Professionals at TOWING YOUR AD HERE

MV10170 RATES KEY LARGO MAP PAGE Quality Service Since 1972 Vertical: AMERICAN & FOREIGN CARS, TRUCKS 2.5” wide x 4“ tall S.U.V.s, VANS, TRAILERS & R.V.s $125 per month The Shane Duncan Band was featured on Channel 6. Continuous live music at the Seafood festival. Chris Lute and Steve Venini at Bayside Grille. • Certified Mechanics See them at Gilbert's on March 6. • Exhaust Systems MINOR C Horizontal: & • Brakes 4.75” wide x 3.13” tall • Tune-Ups MAJOR $150 per month • Tire Sales & Repairs REPAIRS D B A • Air Conditioning Skyscraper: Paraprosdokians • Coolant & Transmission Flushes 2.5” wide x 8.25” tall Paraprosdokians are figures 8. To steal ideas from one • Regular & Synthetic Oil Changes $200 per month of speech in which the latter person is plagiarism. To steal part of a sentence or phrase is from many is research. Surprisingly Affordable! surprising or unexpected in a 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I 305-451-3500 way that causes the reader or said I was blaming you. MM 101.5 • KEY LARGO listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. 10. In filling out an application, C ON THE MAP They are frequently humor- where it says, 'In case of emer- ous. (Winston Churchill loved gency, notify...' I put 'DOCTOR.’ them, and so does Trader Dick.) 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk 1. Where there's a will, down the street with a bald E I want to be in it. head and a beer gut, and still 2. The last thing I want to do is think they are sexy. hurt you. But it's still on my list. 12. You do not need a para- chute to skydive. You only need 3. Since light travels faster than a parachute to skydive more sound, some people appear than once. bright until you hear them speak. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. The Conch Republic 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 14. Going to church doesn't COCONUT TELEGRAPH make you a Christian any more Independently Owned Local Newspaper 5. We never really grow up, we than standing in a garage only learn how to act in public. Denise Malefyt makes you a car. PUBLISHER 6. War does not determine who 15. You're never too old to learn 305.304.2837 is right - only who is left. something stupid. www.TheConchTelegraph.com 7. Knowledge is knowing a [email protected] 16. I'm supposed to respect my tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not 101425 Overseas Hwy., PMB #628 elders, but it is getting harder and Key Largo, Florida Keys 33037 putting it in a fruit salad. E ON THE MAP B ON THE MAP harder for me to find one now. 22 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016 March 2016 • The Coconut Telegraph • 23 Signs PATRIOTS IN PARADISE Business in the Keys Universal Messages BACK The universe is always offering us signs to help us, we just need to slow down and pay attention. Great Health Care Larry‛s Mobile RV Service Serving the Upper Keys 31 Years Experience • Licensed and Insured your mind or a number that 630-460-7676 seems to pop up everywhere FREE Larry Zinser you look after you‛ve asked [email protected] For uninsured Upper Keys adults the universe for guidance can with no income or very low income www.floridakeysrvservice.com both be signs. Call the Good Health Clinic at 305-853-1788 Like us on FACEBOOK MM 91.5 Oceanside • M-F 9-3 • thegoodlhealthclinic.org FRONT Signs may come through the pocket area animal world, from strangers, GET YOUR 24-HR RAY or jump out of a book in the TEE SHIRT SERVICE Structural/Civil • Structural Evaluations Residential/Commercial Design form of an insightful passage. TODAY WE CLOSE PERMITS The universe can often relay A sign may be a direct answer & SUPPORT to one of your questions. Commercial & Residential • State Certified Contractor Michael F. Padula P. E. messages to us through signs. CFC057546 / Licensed & Insured YOUR Often, we are too busy to Other signs may point you in CERTIFIED MASTER PLUMBER SPECIALIST Seacoast Engineering & Design LOCAL [email protected] stop and consider what may the right direction, warn of Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305.509.7695 • fax 305.509.7635 Office: (305) 853-1848 92425 Overseas Hwy. or may not be a sign. We may Patriotic Red, White JUST [email protected] • Seacoast Engineering and Design on Facebook impending difficulties, or LEGION Cell: (305) 772-4580 Tavernier, FL 33070 and Blue design! ask the universe for guidance, show you a different way. If POST! $15 yet fail to recognize the sign you want the universe to send it sends us in response. you a sign, tell it that you are Advertise Here Learning the subtle language ready and willing to accept its Ameriican Legiion Post 333 - Key Largo $30 per month * Corpora on Set Up * Sales Tax * Sales Audits of signs can help you inter- guidance. 2 Seagate Boulevard • MM 99.6 (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) Aquatic Bronzes and Classic Fountains * Accounts Receivable * Accounts Payable * Payroll Sole Proprietors to Corpora ons, Big or Small pret the guidance the Not everything you hear or Key Largo • 305-451-0307 Drop off check and biz card to 305.453.1800 Leon Dermer universe sends your way. We see will be a sign. If you are The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside CaptainsImports.com Owner all have been blessed with a receptive and patient, how- next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. Cell 305.247.7834 [email protected] connection that allows the ever, the signs you receive 99150 Overseas Hwy • Key Largo, FL 33037 universe to communicate will become easier to recog- Bushwacker’s LAWN & LANDSCAPE MAINTENANCE directly with us. nize. It is important to listen to your intuition. WE LUNCH $1 Sushi all the time! To be able to understand the Hire a LOCAL WE 11:30-3 (Mon.-Fri.) Special Dinner Menu information relayed over that starting at $6.99 (5-7:30pm) A sign can mean many things with EXPERIENCE DINNER connection, however, it is BUYBUY 5-10 Lunch Specials from $5.95 to different people, and only and a GOOD REPUTATION (Every Day) Private Room Available necessary that we learn to you can decipher a sign‛s Voted Best Asian Food pay attention and know what who does PROFESSIONAL WORK 305-451-5955 15 years in a row. meaning is for you. As you BRONZEBRONZE [email protected] and does it ON TIME at a FAIR RATE! 103200 Overseas Hwy, Key Largo, MM 103 Bayside to look for. practice reading the signs To see and correctly inter- and following their guidance, Key Largo to Lower Matecumbe • Maintenance • Tree Work The Conch Republic pret a sign, you must open the universe will send more of COCONUT TELEGRAPH your heart and mind to the them your way. • Installations • Hardscape 305-451-5586 Independently Owned Local Newspaper Advertise Here Advertise Here universe and invite its guid- $30 per month Denise Malefyt $30 per month (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) PUBLISHER (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) ance into your life. 305.304.2837 www.TheConchTelegraph.com Many of us are blind to the Drop off check and biz card to [email protected] Drop off check and biz card to The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside 101425 Overseas Hwy., PMB #628 The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside signs we receive because we Key Largo, Florida Keys 33037 next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. expect angels or our spirit guides to speak to us in a booming voice and tell us exactly what we need to hear. Advertise Here But signs are usually of this $30 per month earth and therefore easier to (4 MONTH MINIMUM, PAID IN ADVANCE) encounter. A song lodged in Drop off check and biz card to The UPS Store, MM 101.4 Oceanside Reprinted from DailyOM - Inspirational thoughts for a happy, next to Publix in the Tradewinds Plaza. healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com 24 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2016

The largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! 305-451-1133 107900 Overseas Hwy www.gilbertsresort.com Waterfront Tiki Bar, Restaurant, Motel & Marina Now Featurin LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - MARCH 2016 “Never a Cover Charge”

MICHAEL TRIXX HAPPY HOUR IS HERE! Try a Every Saturday MONDAY THRU FRIDAY Gilbert’s in March “Boobie” at 8pm $2 Bud Light & Miller Lite Drafts 1/2 o Well Drinks and $2.50 Fireball Shots! JOIN US AT THE BIGGEST TIKI BAR IN THE KEYS!

LEGENDARY SUNDAY FUNDAY PARTY: Great Bands Every Sunday 1-6 pm

Don’t Miss.....Country Night! Every FIRST Friday of the Month Friday, Mar. 4 - COWBOY UP Ribs & Beer Special 5-9pm $9.99 Fresh new music, Check our website for more info only at Gilbert's! www.gilbertsresort.com and like us on Facebook. ONE STOP SHOPPING... FEATURED PROPERTY Find your dream home in paradise with our talented team of professionals ISLAND LIVING - Last home on ocean end IN-HOUSE FINANCING • CLOSINGS of canal includes a private beach area and IN-HOUSE ATTORNEY SERVICE... 2 CANALFRONT LOTS WITH MOBILE your own hot tub which feeds into the very private with 200-ft waterfront swimming pool just above your 50' dock. and boat house. Lots of parking for Elevator and downstairs apartment. ALL IN ONE PLACE! your boat or RV. Garage, too. WOW - gotta see this one!!

PRICE REDUCED PRICE REDUCED PRICE REDUCED

CANALFRONT LOT

BAYSIDE CANALFRONT HOME $499,000 SEVERAL HOMES FOR RENTAL, CANALFRONT HOME IN CANALFRONT LOT THE HARBORAGE Very nice canal leads directly out to bay. Watch ANNUAL BASIS. CALL FOR STILLWRIGHT POINT FOR SALE Popular Key Largo ocean side 2/1 well maintained home with new the manatees swim at your dock! Private street DETAILS AND SHOWINGS. 4/3 lg. home on two lots, neighborhood. Nice location for updates. Great investment opportu- & location. Perfect for a family for weekends or prestigious neighborhood. your Keys home! Recently reduced nity. Subdivision has a pool, full-time. Downstairs has plenty of storage. Contemporary style , very unique. to $114,500. clubhouse, and marina ocean front. 120 ft. dockage; some bay views. Recently reduced to $174,500. BROKER/OWNER The Wasmund Team OWNER Tropical Realty Of The Florida Keys, Inc., MM 102.9 bayside We're a Mother-Daughter Team and we handle your real estate needs with integrity and professionalism. Over 30 years of combined sales in the Keys gives you the opportunity to have our experience work for you. Jane: 305-451-2214 Wendy: 305-394-1376 CRS, GRI, Short Sale Specialist [email protected] • www.thewasmundteam.com GRI

VISIT US IN OUR NEW OFFICE AT 102901 OVERSEAS HWY, MM 102.9 OCEANSIDE