Always and Never the Same: Women's Long-Distance Friendships During Life Course Transitions
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University of Tennessee, Knoxville TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange Doctoral Dissertations Graduate School 5-2010 Always and never the same: Women's long-distance friendships during life course transitions Jessica Thern Smith University of Tennessee - Knoxville, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_graddiss Part of the Interpersonal and Small Group Communication Commons Recommended Citation Smith, Jessica Thern, "Always and never the same: Women's long-distance friendships during life course transitions. " PhD diss., University of Tennessee, 2010. https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_graddiss/751 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School at TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctoral Dissertations by an authorized administrator of TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. For more information, please contact [email protected]. To the Graduate Council: I am submitting herewith a dissertation written by Jessica Thern Smith entitled "Always and never the same: Women's long-distance friendships during life course transitions." I have examined the final electronic copy of this dissertation for form and content and recommend that it be accepted in partial fulfillment of the equirr ements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, with a major in Communication and Information. Michelle Violanti, Major Professor We have read this dissertation and recommend its acceptance: Margaret Morrison, John Haas, Michael Olson Accepted for the Council: Carolyn R. Hodges Vice Provost and Dean of the Graduate School (Original signatures are on file with official studentecor r ds.) To the Graduate Council: I am submitting herewith a dissertation written by Jessica Thern Smith entitled “Always and Never the Same: Women’s Long-Distance Friendships during Life Course Transitions.” I have examined the final electronic copy of this dissertation for form and content and recommend that it be accepted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, with a major in Communication & Information. Michelle Violanti, Major Professor We have read this dissertation and recommend its acceptance: Margaret Morrison John Haas Michael Olson Accepted for the Council: Carolyn R. Hodges Vice Provost and Dean of the Graduate School (Original signatures are on file with official student records.) ALWAYS AND NEVER THE SAME: WOMEN’S LONG-DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPS DURING LIFE COURSE TRANSITIONS A Dissertation Presented for the Doctor of Philosophy Degree The University of Tennessee, Knoxville Jessica Thern Smith May 2010 Copyright © 2010 by Jessica Thern Smith All rights reserved ii DEDICATION This dissertation is dedicated to my mother, Linda, and my father, Ralph, for their many sacrifices and steadfast support. All the moments we shared that once seemed ordinary, now add up to so many memories I wouldn’t trade for anything. I am grateful to be your daughter, your “snug.” I also dedicate this dissertation to my two Sarah’s. No matter the distance, our friendships have never faltered. I eagerly look forward to our futures together. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This dissertation would not have been possible without the amazing women who were willing to share their stories. You allowed me intimate access to both the joyful and sorrowful moments in your friendships, for which I am forever grateful. I am also profoundly indebted to Dr. Michelle Violanti. Words cannot possibly express how thankful I am for your unwavering commitment to my success. Whether providing thoughtful advice, honest feedback, fierce loyalty, or encouraging support, you have always gone above and beyond your duties as advisor and dissertation chair. I truly appreciate your time, energy, and dedication. My deep appreciation also goes to my other exceptional committee members. To Dr. John Haas, thank you for believing in my abilities and always “having my back.” To Dr. Margie Morrison, thank you for teaching me what it really means to be a qualitative scholar. And to Dr. Michael Olson, thank you for taking a chance on this communication scholar! Through your teaching and mentoring, I have learned how to be a successful member of the academic community and I will always be grateful for your guidance. To Amy and Nikki, I am so thankful we were brought together almost five years ago and that our friendships have remained strong despite each of us venturing down diverging paths. Like the big sisters I never had, you have provided so much comfort, encouragement, affection, and hilarity that I honestly don’t know how I survived without you! Thank you to Allyson Beutke DeVito for your unfaltering support. Without you (and our lunch dates), I sincerely doubt I would have made it through the ups and downs of these past four years. I hope I have been half as good of a friend to you as you have been to me. iv Thank you to Dr. Bill Stuart, Dr. Pam Tracy, Dr. Naomi Johnson Tsigaridas, and Dr. Trevor Potts. You each mentored me in your own unique way and much of my success is due to your support. Your encouragement motivated me to pursue graduate education and I hope one day I am able to inspire students like you inspired me. I am also thankful for my colleagues and professors, particularly Laura Arnett Smith, Sandy Cabbage, Dr. Ken Levine, and Dr. Laura Miller, who each sacrificed time and energy to assist me along the way. Thank you as well to my fellow graduate students, who provided empathy, advice, and distractions from stress. Finally, thank you to my loving family who have always supported my pursuits and never hesitate to say “we’re proud of you.” v ABSTRACT Various challenges can threaten the security of personal relationships, but one of the most difficult problems to manage is geographic distance. As more people live apart from someone about whom they care, the prevalence of long-distance relationships will increase. However, research on how long-distance friendships are characterized and accomplished lags behind. Therefore, the present study was designed to uncover how women define and maintain their long-distance friendships. A total of 34 interviews were conducted with first-year undergraduate students, first-year graduate students, and recently-hired faculty members at a large university. The interview transcripts were analyzed inductively, which resulted in the creation of nine categories. These were eventually reduced to six maintenance behaviors: openness, assurances, positivity, joint activities, personal networks, and mediated communication. Participants also challenged definitions of long-distance friendship based upon geography and replaced them with definitions based upon communication (access to interaction, use of mediated communication, level of closeness, and a commitment to expend the necessary time and energy to make it work). Although long-distance friendships may require more effort and involve more mediated communication, this study demonstrates that long-distance friends rely on similar maintenance behaviors as geographically-close friends. This indicates that long-distance friendships may not be as dramatically different or as perplexing as commonly thought. Overall, the present study reveals that long-distance friendships can be satisfying and maintained successfully, which challenges both cultural assumptions and traditional social science research. Many long-distance friendships are well-equipped to weather both changes and challenges, making them flexible, not fragile. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION AND GENERAL INFORMATION...................................1 Rationale...................................................................................................................................................3 Sensitization .............................................................................................................................................4 CHAPTER II: METHODOLOGY ...........................................................................................24 The Interpretive Paradigm ...................................................................................................................24 Participants ............................................................................................................................................26 Table A: Participant Groups and Pseudonyms...................................................................................28 Recruitment of participants .................................................................................................................29 Procedures..............................................................................................................................................29 Analysis...................................................................................................................................................31 Evaluative Criteria ................................................................................................................................33 CHAPTER III: FINDINGS .......................................................................................................37 Defining Long-Distance Friendship.....................................................................................................38 Maintaining Long-Distance Friendship...............................................................................................45 Table