PROM NUMBER 1934 I'll' P " C'

IIi BORED ALK

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How are YOUR nerves? TRY THIS TEST Watch out for the telltale signs of jangled nerves

Other people notice them- Get enough sleep-fresh air even when you don't-little -recreation-and make nervous habits that are the Camels your smoke, particularly if you danger signalforjanglednerves. are a steady smoker. And remember, right or See For remember, Camel's how speedily you can wrong, people put their own complete this test. costlier tobaccos never jangle With your left hand (or with your right hand, if interpretations on them. So you are left-handed) unbutton your vest be- your nerves-no matter how ginning at the top. Now button it again, begin- it pays to watch your nerves. many you smoke. ling at the top. If you use more than one you are disqualified. hand Average time forsixabutton vest is 12 seconds. COSTLIER TOBACCOS Jack Summers Camels are made from finer, MORE (Camel smoker). national professional squash racquets champion, completed EXPENSIVE TOBACCOS than any the test in 9 seconds. other popular brand of cigarettes! Copyright,.1934,It, J-Reynolds. Tobacco Company tL BORED WALK 3

U FROM HERE and THERE Fashions on and oFF the campus

by mary adeline Clouser

" Ip anticipation of the twenty-first of March, "the first day of buttons. Joanne Keller, Sigma Kappa, wore a black and white Spring," everyone was highly elated, but for naught-the first day figured crepe suit with a wide green girdle and a green band on of spring and the following five were about as far removed from her black straw off-the-face hat. Marjorie Wills, Theta, was anything springy as they could be. Fortunately the week-end "coking" at the Commons in a light brown wool suit with a bright of Easter was lovely and many bright costumes "popped out" as red blouse and brown accessories. Margo McLaughlin, Alpha Chi, if by magic. appeared in a dark blue crepe dress with a plaid taffeta bodice of red, blue, and cream. With this she wore shoes and hat. " There are being shown many prints for Spring; vivid floral patterns and small botanical lay-outs. In the Parisian Fete the " Hilah Huffman, Delta Gamma, wears a light green suit, a yel- newest wools are shown in many shaded combinations of mono- low blouse, and brown accessories. The blouse had a very novel chromatic harmonies. neckline which was cut with full sleeves and a raglan shoulder line. Lois Kinderman, Pi Phi, wears a deep green suit with a " England has gone on a "double fabric" standard for Spring. rolled shoulder arrangement and silver slip-in fasteners. Nancy Besides their classic tweeds, there are interesting new novelty Artes, Kappa, enjoyed an afternoon of bridge clad in a dark blue materials that are coming forward. The British weavers are serge suit with a white fur Buster Brown collar. The coat but- stressing small and vigorous checks, plaids, and square weaves. toned down the front with large buttons. She wore blue shoes They are showing brown and white, Irish, and checked tweeds, with it. off-blue Harris tweeds, and Haddington checks in black and " Laura Kenner, Theta, danced to the music of Charlie Agnew white with a striking band. clad in a light gray swagger suit with a small white pique collar. She completed her outfit with gray accessories. Detta Weston, " For evening Schiaparelli introduces an outlandish silhouette. also dancing to Agnew's tunes, wore a light blue satin semi- well but are broken at skirt backs by The gowns are moulded formal with an all-over design of dim gold stars. She had a typhoon swirls. There are many figure eight bustles, hip cape- small evening muff of the blue and trimmed on either end with split skirts showing ruffles underneath. lets, dust ruffles, and a small gold pleating. * With the discarding of long heavy coats, accessories, jewelry, " Betty Strack, Tri Delt, appeared in a forest green two piece gloves, and hose are becoming more noticeable. Worth returns suit with matching hat and white blouse, scarf, and gloves. Rose- to the Gold Standard with everything dripping with huge amounts mary Ritter, Kappa, attended classes wearing a gray suit with clips, buttons and accessories. There of it. Heavy chains, buckles, blue blouse, hat, purse, and gloves. The green gold. effect was quite flatter- are bracelets made of wood, nacre, goldish metal and ing to her auburn hair. Mary Louise Barnhart, Delta Gamma, The luxury of our grandmothers is coming back in precious as went "Tea Dancing" in a brown and white ensemble which was well as synthetic jewelry. Another note for bracelets and belts very striking. The suit was brown wool and the hat of brown is that of making them of rattan and box-calf leather with hand straw. Her ascot tie was of white taffeta, as was the wide band stitching contrast. This probably descended from the current real- around her hat. She wore white gloves and carried a brown ization of the many uses of leather as accessories and trims. Even purse. Harriett Curry, Theta, gaily hurries to school in a simple have pepped up this Spring with some catchy new titles hose deep green dress trimmed solely with four beautiful antique bold such as, Champagne, Tropic, Thrill, Sunbasque, Wing, Jaunty, and buttons. Earth. " Margaret Magaw, Alpha Chi, appeared in a dark blue crepe * Molyneux has again startled the fashion world, this time with suit with three large van-colored flowers at the throat on the square silhouetted hats! Some have square crowns but the most ecru blouse. Her hat was of dark blue shiny straw. Betty Beecher, unusual of all is the squared-off brim. However, the greatest Pi Phi, mounted the steps of Science Hall in a light green angora buying interest is centered on Molyneux shallow-shaped sailors suit. The coat was hip length with an interesting yoke cut across or Maria Guy Breton styles. the back. Betty McGannon, Delta Gamma, goes quite nautical in " The Indiana Campus became a veritable fashion center with her blue and white outfit. The skirt is plain blue, the tailored the recent warm weather. Suits appeared as if by magic, dark jacket blue and white check, and the sweater white with a blue colors were suddenly replaced by bright fresh ones and even the yarn rope around the neck and fastened to a huge blue anchor. grass took on a correspondingly brighter hue. Virginia Homann, Dorothy Hassan offsets her dark hair by a striking black and Kappa, wore a chartreuse green swagger suit trimmed in brown white outfit. The dress being black crepe simply made with a leather buttons and complemented by a yellow blouse. Florence high stand up rolled neckline faced with stiff white pique and Scott, Theta, appeared in a light blue broadcloth suit, high necked, a white flower at the neckline point in front. With this she and trimmed in epaulets of gray fox fur. With this she wore wears white gloves, a black rough straw hat with a white band, gray shoes, hat, and gloves. Marjorie Giffin, Pi Phi, tripped along a black and white purse and black shoes with white bows on them. Third Street in a gold wool suit trimmed in brown with a brown taffeta blouse and huge chin bow, and brown accessories. Eleanor " With the elections for Prom King coming along we see fashion Dollman, Tri Delt, responded to the Spring atmosphere in a char- has assumed a new trend. We see the two outstanding contestants treuse and yellow three piece suit, with small brown stripe with have spruced up a bit. It has been noted that Jim Ballou has which she matched her accessories. discarded his "flying carpet" coat in favor of a sleeveless sweater and Joe Minor, Sigma Chi has pulled himself into a suit for Fri- " Betty Barber, Chi Omega, gaily enters the Library wearing a day afternoons. That is really a situation to think about. Here's grey-blue flannel tailored suit with a white pique collar and silver to more Prom King Elections and more tied neckties. 4 PROM NUMBER I THE "Be as Sure as Possible BORED -then WALK PASTEURIZE"

DON HEROLD Somebody said, "Be sure you are right- Godfather then go ahead."

SHANNON M. JOHNSON KATHERINE BERG Good advice. But impossible to follow if Editor Grad Mgr. you are dealing in raw milk.

ROBERT MOORE, ELSA ESKEW There are ways of controlling the sources JOHN SEMBOWER Advertising Mgr. of milk supply. There are scientific meth- Associate Eds. ods of testing the milk itself. Johnson's employ them all! KENNETH CRUM TOM MARTIN Exchange Editor Circulation Mgr. When milk is accepted at the Johnson receiving room, Johnson's is as sure as is VINCENT HIPPENSTEEL humanly possible that IT IS SAFE MILK. Publicity Mgr. BUT THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING LED DAY POSITIVELY - A N D ALWAYS - Ass't. Publicity Mgr. THAT RAW MILK IS SAFE !

That is what pasteurization is for! EDITORIAL STAFF After every precaution has been taken; LAURA GRIMSHAW MARY CLOUSER after the sources of supply have been FRITZ PURNELL WILBUR PELL proved to be as good as they can be made; Charles Flowers Harve Stackman Lloyd Wilkins Francis Nipp Jane Hayes Loy Baxter after the milk has been tested by every Eunice Toothaker Margaret Stark Joann Keller Frances Brindley Marjorie Cooking- Virginia Hunter known means,... . Lucille Meyers ham Dorothy Ricketts Margaret Evans Thory Johnson Eleanor Dodson Anna Cameron Bob Van Namee Helen Mattice Then, Max Williams Ann Ashcraft Ralph Ehrman even then, no man can be Sure he is Helen Light Elizabeth Burnett Betty Barber Elizabeth Hillix Doris Ward Evelyn Conrad right. Rosemary Lavelle Lela Scott Warren McDermed William Browning Henrietta Bulliet Kathleen Mason AND THAT'S WHY JOHNSON'S PAS- TEURIZE. ADVERTISING STAFF

CHARLES RUNYAN-Student Manager I FRED BARRETT, PROCTOR MOORE-Ass't. Mgrs. Euncie Toothaker John Schoelch Gordon Stringer Jane Hayes Francis Nipp Joann Keller Helen Hanson Beatrice Rhoem

Copyright 1933 by the Bored Walk Publishing Co., Inc. Published eight times during the school year from October to May inclusive by students of Indiana University. "Entered as second class matter at Bloomington, Indiana, PASTEURIZED under thenact of March 3, 1879. Application for re-entry at Spencer, Ind., pending." DAIRY PRODUCTS Office: Assembly Hall, Indiana University. Subscription rates one dollar the year. Single copies fifteen cents. Exclusive reprint rights granted to Ojja fNIplg2 BORED WALK 5

OUT OF THE FRYING PAN Satan: I can't understand you freezing down here in hell. Sinner: S-ay, y'you don't know the w-w-woman that caused my being here, b-b-brother. -Ghost

NAZI GOOD Hitler: "What's your name?" Culprit: "Abraham MacBromovitz an' 'tis a bra' bricht nicht we're 'aving." -Wataugwan "0" " CHEWS YOUR WEAPON Mary: Have a good time last night? Sarry: Yah, but take my advice, and never slap a fellow when he's chewing tobacco. -Red Cat

" " " TWO OTHER PEOPLE Barber: Haven't I cut your hair before? Customer: No, I lost that ear in the war. -Exchange " e"e FAIR ENOUGH Dean: "Don't you know you shouldn't play strip poker?" Sweet Young Thing: "Oh, it's perfectly all right. It's really not gambling." Dean: "What!" S. Y. T.: "No; you see we get our clothes back." -Utah Crimson

" A new kind of sock comfort and convenience! Phoenix Ev-R-Ups-the socks that fit just below the calf. The new style Ev-R-Up top, with cov- ered rubber threads (Lastex) woveu in, holds them up For Correct smoothly, suugly. In silk or flue lisle ... plain or fancy. Men's They launder perfectly. Wear 50C to $1°_

ON THE CAMPUS ANO ON SULLIVAN'THE SQUARE 6 PROM NUMBER U

"SPRIG IS 'ERE" Nothing could make you feel more "pert" or look "Springier" than to pop out, along with the HOUSE DANCES buds and spring flowers, with a April 21 Kappa Kappa Gamma spring informal, Connie Geisler. -- smooth, new WAVE. Sigma Alpha Mu spring formal, orchestra unan- And, the finest in waves may nounced. be obtained at Theta Chi tea dance, orchestra unannounced. Zeta Tau Alpha province convention dance, Gene Kellam. THE MODERNISTIC BEAUTY SALON April 28 Kappa Alpha Theta spring informal, Hal Denman. May 5 Alpha Tau Omega spring formal, arrangements not "Phone 3131 - completed. Sigma Alpha Epsilon Gypsy dance, orchestra unannounced. Friday, May 4. Theta Alpha Phi Cabaret dance, Alumni Hall. DeltaUpsilon spring formal, Ray Williams. Saturday, May 5. Hi-Y Day. May 12 Alpha Chi spring informal, Slim Lamar. Sunday, May 6. School of Music orchestra concert, Alumni Delta Delta Delta spring informal, orchestra unan- Hall, 4:15 P. M. nounced. Monday, May 7. Theta Sigma Phi Razz banquet, 6:00 P. M., Chi Omega spring formal, orchestra unannounced. Alumni Hall. Delta Gamma spring informal, orchestra unannounced. Friday, May 11. Indiana Union-A. W. S. dance. Kappa Sigma spring informal, orchestra unannounced. Saturday, May 12. Reserve officers convention banquet, 7:00 Phi Mu spring formal, Doc Thrasher. P. M., A, B, C, and D. Sigma Kappa spring informal, orchestra unannounced. Pershing Rifles convention banquet, Alumni Hall. Sigma Nu spring informal, orchestra unannounced. Pershing Rifles and Reserve officers dance, Alumni Hall. May 19 Pi Beta Phi spring formal, Slim Lamar. Sunday, May 13. School of Music concert, 4:15 P. M., Alumni Hall. STATE DANCES Monday, May 14. School of Music concert, 8:15 P. M., Alumni April 14 Delta Delta Delta, Claypool Hotel, Indianapolis, or- Hall. chestra unannounced. Tuesday, May 15. President and Mrs. Bryan's reception for April 21 Kappa Delta Rho, Hotel Lincoln, Indianapolis, or- seniors, 8:00 P. M., Alumni Hall. chestra unannounced. Wednesday, May 16. Phi Beta Kappa banquet, 6:00 P. M., Phi Delta Theta, Indianapolis, Slim Lamar. Room D. May 18. Indiana Union-A. W. S. dance, Alumni Hall. April 28 Delta Chi, arrangements not completed. Friday, Delta Tau Delta, arrangements not completed. Pi Beta Phi, Indianapolis Athletic Club, orchestra HARRIS GRAND AND PRINCESS unannounced. May 5 Zeta Tau Alpha, Indianapolis Athletic Club, orchestra Lew Ayres in "Let's Be Ritzy." unannounced. Katharine Hepburn in "Spitfire." Frank Buck's "Wild Cargo." CONVENTIONS George Raft in "Trumpet Blows." in "Looking For Trouble." April 14 Sigma Nu state rally, Hoosier Athletic Club, Indian- Spencer Tracy and Jack Oakie apolis. Earl Carroll's "Murder at the Vanities." Doug Fairbanks Jr. in "Catherine the Great." April 20-22 Zeta Tau Alpha Province convention, Bloomington. Indiana University Annual Musical, "Good News." April 28 Sigma Kappa state alumnae meeting, Bloomington. Bing Crosby and Carole Lombard in "We're Not Fussing." Mae West in "It Ain't No Sin." DINNERS Tommy Ross and Charles Ruggles in "Melody in Spring." April 12 Kappa Delta Rho, dinner honoring "Bo" McMillin. Claudette Colbert in "Cleopatra." Under The Skin." April 14 Acacia slate banquet, Scottish Rite Cathedral, Indi- Elissa Landi in "Sisters anapolis. "Stand Up and Cheer" (Fox Movietone Follies for 1934.) Harold Lloyd in "The Cat's Paw." Delta Gamma state luncheon, Bloomington. George Arliss in "The House of Rothschild." April 20 Alpha Delta Pi date dinner. Ronald Colman in "Bulldog Drummond Strikes Back." April 25 Sigma Nu date dinner. April 28 Pi Beta Phi state luncheon, Indianapolis Athletic Club. May 5 Zeta Tau Alpha state luncheon, Indianapolis Athletic Club. APRIL 13th UNION BUILDING ACTIVITIES Wednesday, April 11. Efrem Zimbalist violin concert, 8:00 P. M., Alumni Hall. Alpha Lambda Delta initiation and dinner, A, B, and C. Friday, April 13. Junior Prom, Hal Kemp. JUNIOR PROM! Saturday, April 14. Post Prom dance. Sunday, April 15. School of Music concert, 4:15 P. M., Alumni Hall. for-Corsages Monday, April 16. DeWolf Hopper, 8:15 P. M., Alumni Hall. Wednesday, April 18. School of Music concert, 8:00 P. M. bouquets Alumni Hall. See Friday, April 20. Indiana Union-A. W. S. dance, Alumni Hall. Saturday, April 21. Scabbard and Blade dance, Alumni Hall. Friday, April 27. Indiana Union-A. W. S. dance, Alumni Hall. Saturday, April 28. PanHellenic council dance, Alumni Hall. ELLIS FLORAL COMPANY Sunday, April 29. Robert Lefler recital, 4:15 P. M., Alumni Hall. 304 E. Kirkwood Phone 4060 Wednesday, May 2. Indiana University Foundation Day serv- ices, 8:00 P. M., Alumni Hall. BORED WALK 7

U PRINCESS IDAIYHr THE HARRIS "EVEN HIS WORST GRAND ) ) THEATRE FRIENDS TOLD HIM!"

Will Present A Most Unusual Romantic Adventure SATURDAY MIDNIGHT "MURDER -IN- TRINIDAD" -WITH-

HEATHER ANGEL PRESTON FOSTER VICTOR JORY

HEY SURE DID-when they Taken From T recovered! But recovering from JOHN W.VANDERCOOK'S the K.0. of that sullen, soupy pipe Greatest was harder than holing a golf ball Mystery Story from a sand trap! - U A pipe-cleaner, an orange-and- black tin of Sir Walter Raleigh- LIST OF ADVERTISERS and how his circle of admirers will Anice Davis ...... ------...... 24 widen! This happy mixture of fne Arbutus ...... ------...... 24 Kentucky Burleys has the body that 24 Baker, Leroy ...... ------. men want, with a calm fragrance that Bender, J. Lester ...... ------8 Book Nook ...... ------...... 24 raises you in the estimation of your Camel ...... ------...... I. F. C. friends ...... and yourself. Try it. Cauble Coffee Shop...... ------..26 You'll like it. Chesterfield...... ------23 Chrysler ...... ------...... 21 Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corporation Coca Cola ...... ------...... 20 Louisville, Kentucky. Dept. W-44. E dgewd---e---orth------25- orth --...... 25 Ellis Floral Co.-...... ------6 Send for this Gables ...... ------...... 8 Harris Grand Theatre ...... ------7 IFREE Hitchcock, Insurance ...... ------..... 24 TA KE CARE of BOOKLET Home Laundry ...... ------...... 24 Indiana University Bookstore...... ------...... 27 Indiana University Commons...... ------9 Johnson's Creamery ...... ------4 Life Savers ...... ------8 Lucky Strike ...... ------..... B. C. McDaniel, Dr. Glen...... ------..20 Mid-Land Press ...... ------...... 26 Modernistic Beauty Salon ...... ------6 Peterson's Market...... ------.20 Phoenix Hosiery ...... ------5 Princess Theatre ...... ------7 Raleigh ...... ------7 Robbins Shoe ...... ------9 Sullivan's ...... ------5 Washington Hotel...... ------20 0 It's 15 -AND IT'S MILDER 8 PROM NUMBER

THE WINNAH!

L AST month we announced that for the best joke, wise- crack, gag, or humorous line submitted we would present a cellophane wrapped assortment of all the Life Saver flavors. We are pleased to announce that the winner was Loy Baxter, cartoonist and gag man ex- traordinaire. The following was the winning contribution: River: Why don't you go run into a wall? Another: I'll be damned if I do! The offer still goes. Another Life Saver prize will be awarded and the winner announced in the May issue. So turn in those gags and wisecracks you like to pull and get something more than a giggle for them. Contributions will be judged by the editors of this pub- lication. The right to publish any jokes is reserved. All editors' decisions are final.

" "

LIFE SAVERS: "Stepping out?" He: "How's your oil, Babe?" Cotton Belle: "Ah's fine. How's yo' all?" "My good fellow, we're calling on HIGH HAT: -Juggler the future Missus." LIFE SAVERS: "Better take me along." * * *

HIGH HAT: "And what will you do?" DON'T BE TOO SURE LIFE SAVERS: "Take your breath away, ol' top." Country Gentleman: "Here, hold my horse for a min- FOR A NEW THRILL . ... SPEAR-O-MINT LIFE SAVERS ute." Senator from Kentucky: "Sir, I am a member of Con- gress." C. G.: "That's all right. I'll trust you." -Log

PUNCH BOWL

A policeman, making his rounds in the early morning, found an inebriated individual standing in a horse trough and waving his handkerchief over his head. "Hey, what are you doing there?" asked the cop. COMING UP "Save the women and children first-I can swim!" was with a whole raft of new concoc- the answer. -Exchange tions in the refreshment and food line-

New warm weather dishes which are tantalizing and so palatable -and prepared in the "Gables manner." J. LESTER BENDER Democratic Candidate Come in to coke 'n smoke. The Gables is the headquarters for the For rest of the gang. Why not y ou? S H E R IF F Monroe County the GA'BOLNES Your Vote And Influence Will Be Appreciated

- ON THE CAMPUS - Primary, May 8, 1934 BORED WALK 9

SORORITY SONG OF HOPE The vests are draped with so many nice pins, RO BBINS We should all be hopeful in spite of our sins. DUNDEERS -Northwestern Purple Parrot

Prof. Hercules Strongarm, Strongarm Correspondence School of Physical Culture,x-"^ Fifth Avenue, New York, Dear Prof. Strongarm:-- I have completed your course. Kindly send muscles. Yours truly,*- -Marvin Milquetoast -Exchange ***STYLED FOR SPORT Lecturer: "I speak the language of wild animals." Flexible-lightweight (14 oz Voice in rear: "Next time you meet a skunk, ask him to the pair) cool, colorful, and $3.5 what's the big idea." -Reserve Red Cat smart looking....oJust about " "* "co ve r s all requirements for sports shoes and that just about Breathes there a man with soul so dead Who never to himself hath said, As he stubbed his toe against the bed, A Sporting Partner Sole Hand « * * 9 9 9 * *?9 " Laced to Uppers -Florida Blue 'Gator FREE! A pair of 50c shoe Officer (to groom who has been whipping horse): "Don't trees with each pair .. of Dundeers if this whip him man-talk towhiphim hm."(Ipehim." antalkto afad is presented. Darky (to horse, by way of opening the conversation): "Ah comes from N'Awleans, where does you come from?" -V. P. I. Skipper

After The Prom

and every dance

'Why not treat the girl friend at The Soda Shop

SLIM LaMAR and HIS BAND

3:30-4:30

Indiana University Commons Queen of the 1934 Junior Prom Miss Lela Scott, Alpha Omicron Pi BORED WALK 11 a BORED WALK - ,

i Vol. IV APRIL, 1934 No. 7 Knotholes in the walk e

* Several months back, we pre- dressing for a dance to his music dicted that it would take a mighty here. And we were among the lame- fine band to draw a crowd to the brains that called the Union, too. Prom this year after the dances the But, well, after all. Union-AWS bunch has given us. We also predicted that if we weren't * Have you heard that the 1934 wrung dry by that time, we would World's Fair is to held in Blooming- be forced to break a college-long ton, and that they are considering record and attend. The wringing out painting the Union tower with cream has been even more successful than and crimson stripes as the keynote we had expected, but Hal Kemp is of the decorative motif? The whole here and there. Occasionally a very too big an attraction to resist. We building, in fact, is running to the depressed hyacinth sits rather de- have long maintained, in the face blaze and blare school of decoration, jectedly in a windy corner. We even of surprisingly little opposition con- with reds and blue-print blues and heard a real old fashioned southern sidering that tastes do differ, that light greens and apricots and browns houn' dawg tearing around the other there is no band that can touch him and silvers and blacks and Lord day. And several of our weaker for a broadcast program. Now, bent, knows what else. If you have gotten friends, prematurely inspired by broke, or shattered, we are certainly used to the red and blue lobby ceil- very deceitful weather, have even not going to pass up our first oppor- ing, you stand a fair chance of some- gone so far as to hang out a pin. tunity to hear him in person. And day getting used to the rest of it if Yes, spring is now fairly probable. then, too, we have been told that we you back off now and take a running The time is coming when school will are going in spite of ourselves, so start. The Bookstore is the only fin- be little more than a place to want what can we do. All we ask is that ished part. Don't let its conserva- to get away from, and we are all you stay off our feet. tive appearance mislead you, that prepared to be the first to want to was done behind the architect's back, * Speaking of Hal Kemp, we get away. The only trouble is that to his great disgust. The whole dec- pecked out our first fan letter to him our first attack is usually our last, orative scheme has been changed the other night. We were really and stays with us until late Septem- three times, once when the oc- making a long-distance request for ber. cupants of the building found what an old favorite. To date we have re- was being done to them, once when ceived no reply-odd, what?-but * Our room-mate is a great Garbo the architect came down and found we still have hopes of hearing it. fan. We incautiously called his at- tention to the technical inaccuracy what was being done to him, and Now that the mid-semester's wri- * in the final shot of Queen Christina. again to double his ideas. He was ter's-cramps are out of the way, we You know, the one with the ship pretty wild when the yellows and are getting all set for our first attack blowing one way and her hair blow- blues were taken out; everybody of spring fever. It's pretty hard to ing the other. He has been polite, else has been pretty wild since he get all worked up over spring when but hardly intimate since. put them back. Of course, they may you know that it may snow tomor- change again, but that's the way it row, but everything except the tem- * Along with several dozen other stands now. We may be wrong, but perature points to an imminence of people, we were pretty much sur- personally we are a bit more con- symptoms. The trees are just begin- prised to hear Charlie Agnew broad- servative in our tastes and haven't ning to suggest a possibility of a bud. casting from Chicago while we were any too much faith in the results. 12 PROM NUMBER

* We would like to tip an editorial hat to the new, out-to-the-edge, full-color photographic ads that a well known national advertiser has begun recently. There is a satisfying finesse about them, an air of unob- trusive distinction that makes them by long odds the best series of ad- vertisements that we remember having seen in some time. We know absolutely nothing about the tech- nique or the psychology of advertising, and they may be theoretically unsound-tho we doubt it. They may lack what the experts expect, "But Joe, we gotta have the they may be very bad from a pro- hose, the house is on fire." fessional point of view, we don't know. But we do know that they appeal to us as few ads do. Enough, almost, to induce us to change brands and try their product out of sheer gratitude and admiration, even tho we don't go for it in such a big way by ourselves.

* Speaking of advertising, we are strongly in favor of abolishing the comic-strip type that has infested the country far too long now. We mean those, "How Mary Used Quipso for Washing and Won Her Man" things. The public enemy that started those should be soaked in kerosene and suspended over the cigarette cans in front of Owen Hall. In time the medics might flip a cigarette near enough to him to rid the country of one of its most perni- cious menaces. He might get another idea if left alone too long.

* It's amusing, sometimes, the things the laundries here in town will send back in the week's bundle. We once found a pair of pink silk pajamas, and one of our fellow roomers just got back a very fine collection of hotel towels and long underwear. He has been around himself enough to own all the towels "Chee! A ticket to Cavalleria he needs, and the potentially warm Rusticana!" weather rules out any interest in the rest of his catch. It is fun, tho, to gather around and see what will show up. The people who send laundry-bags home could enjoy their return no more. When you are on the other end of the story, and your stuff fails to show up, it's a different matter. We lost an old sack not long ago, and have been squeaking about it ever since. Just for the principle of the thing. BORED WALK 13

IF I COULD GO TO COLLEGE AGAIN by

------___-_-_- .- i \1/ 11 L11. ur. will T H.ale go to college again, to what sort of college would I go? T HE other day I was thinking to myself, Suppose I could Professor of English I know one thing: it would be a quiet, calm, beautiful place where study would be the main thing, where the premium would be put upon training the mind and acquir- souls who possess minds and who develop those minds by ing knowledge, and I should be undisturbed in my study regular and industriousstudy; those who make their books and thinking by all sorts of frivolous things. their chief business and do not scatter their abilities here But, where on earth, could I find such a place? For and there on trashy things. Another words, in my college, most of the colleges today have degenerated from the high the students whom every one hears about and talks about purpose for which they were created. Originally intended and reads about and looks up to and points out and imitates as places for training the mind, they have become so would not be some bulky, munificently subsidized gladiator, crowded with extra-curricular activities, and all sorts of or some spry yell leader, or the officers and managers and nonsensical things, scarcely any room is left for the intel- promoters of all sorts of things of no consequence whatso- lect at all. And the rank and file of students who now go ever. All these would take back seats in my college. Nor to and fro in our college halls, making a merry din in the would the most conspicuous students be the collectors of library lobbies, are not out for a real education and have the largest assortment of pins and keys no intention of having anything done to their brains, but and ribbons and medals and black and have flocked to college because it was dull and poky at yellow hats or hats of any other colors, home in the country and they have heard of the dances or the candidates for Prom Queen, or and dates and fraternities and the other festivities of mod- those omnipresent damsels, with chande- ern college life. Or they want to succeed financially or lier-like earrings dangling, who always politically or matrimonially in the world, and have got the pour tea at the teas, or in tight-fitting notion somewhere that college is the best place to get a ensembles distribute the little indigesti- good start in any of these directions. And for the comfort ble cakes. The heroes in my college-- and happiness and ease of these same little boys and girls, would be the heroes of the classroom. the college authorities, led by the late President Eliot, And the ones who were awarded the have consciously or unconsciously lowered the standards sweaters and the numerals would be the and modified the curriculums until many a B. A. today all-A students, and the I Men and the has scarcely the rudiments of a first class education. other Big Men on the campus would In spite of all this, however, a real college education is be the leaders who ranked high in still the desideratum of all who would live fully and well. thinking. What the world needs today as never before is the thor- For in the college of my choice, the textbooks, the assign- oughly trained mind to solve the problems of our intricate ments, the library, the study table, and the activity of my civilization. And the training that will promote this is intellect would be the main thing, not the stadium, the not to be found in the professional schools, which are Quadrangle, or the Board Walk. This one opportunity of usurping the place of real education in the lives of our its kind in my life to improve my brain, I would not sacri- college students, but in the colleges of arts and sciences, fice for inferior things. And yet there would be a great which train the mind and bring it into contact with the college spirit in my. college, but it would not be a matter best that has ever been thought and said in the world. only of pep sessions and rah-rahing in the stadium or the And so, if I could be young again, I would get a real col- field house. It would show itself in the love of learning lege education or die in the attempt, in spite of the de- and a devotion to an Alma Mater who esteemed more cadent state of most of our colleges. But where would I highly the developed minds than the overtrained legs of go? her children. All forms of real athletics, however, would I would seek out a beautiful place like Indiana Univer- have a place of honor in my college. For every day every sity, where I could read and study and think, glancing up student who was able to walk would go out for exercise at the lovely trees around me or looking through the and some form of sport. Athletics would be compulsory charming vistas of that beautiful campus. For in the midst and would be for everybody. But sport would be the thing, of beautiful things, I know that my mind would develop not hypertrophied muscular tissue, and well developed farther in the direction of the good, the true, and the beau- bodies would go hand-in-hand with developed minds. And tiful. But on that beautiful campus the prominent students I would demand a college with traditions, but they would would not be confined to the members of athletic teams be traditions that were worth while, .not wild, freakish or the little boys and, girls who neglect their legitimate things. High intellectual attainment and a high sense of work to run around and do all sorts of odds and ends and honor in the classroom, particularly during examinations, superfluous things, seeing how many times they can get would be lauded more highly than burning green caps, pad- their names into the college paper, and blowing their own dling defenceless fraternity pledges, or stealing free seats horns loudly as they join one thing after another. The out- in the movies. And the men and women who went forth standing men and women in my college would be the stu- from this college would be known for their gentle manners, dents who stand out in their classes. I mean those few select (Continued on page 25) 14 PROM NUMBER I

,. w

t _

"No, Mame, we can't go to the prom this year."

IN THE DEFENSE OF NECKTIES "Another move, professor, and I'll scream!!!" I've heard it also, but it's not true. Neckties do have uses, even if it is a bit silly for a civilized male of the Roosevel- tian Era to wrap a piece of highly colored silk around his throat and tie it in an intricate and highly conventional way. Overlooking the way a fellow would be looked over were he to wear that same tie around his waist or hang- Whistle strains of formal dress, ing down his back, I insist that we simply couldn't get Of tuxes on a sultry night; along without ties. Of wrinkles, heat, and perspiration- What would we substitute Of cleaners', pressers' high elation. if we curtailed the feminine flippancy of pulling out a tie? Love taps have their place, Think, if you dare, of billets rare- no doubt, but they can't express the teasing gradations possible in Pink slips at four wheels per; a tie pulling. Some men have hair that simply wasn't combed to be mussed, You put your last buck through the wicket but every gentleman has a necktie to be pulled out. How Just to get that precious ticket. could your favorite co-ed show she had your interest at heart if she couldn't straighten your tie? There's something thrillingly intimate about that caress that makes a man more presentable for First student: Going to the Prom? other people, even tho it finds origin in a defect. Second moron: Naw, dad couldn't mortgage the farm. Stylists have lamented the lack of color in men's ward- "*" " robes again and again, pinning their chromatic hope on the vivid necktie, but they have consistently overlooked the implication therein. If it were not for this highlight four to six inches below a man's chin, his face would be the only break in the drab monotony of his dress, and to it the eye would naturally turn. Now, it takes no style expert to notice that men's faces were, on the whole, not chiseled to be looked at. Yet, without a splash of color on his bosom, looked at the face would be, and we'd have more spinsters than ever.

Turning from the preventative to the positive advan- tages, a tie is the only article of clothing which has no size. You may not be able to wear your brother's shoes, nor your room-mate's hat, but you can always wear their ties-provided they aren't looking. This same lack of size makes them ideal for gifts: How else could Aunt Flossie's striving so hard to be practical by buying clothing, succeed? If by some cruel did-development of culture we lacked this element, would we not all be wearing misfit "Goin to the Prom, Joe?" gloves, and out-at-the-toe soxs? Stackman BORED WALK 15

THE CAREER OF TED LIGHTFOOT By Oratio Haggard, Jr. Ted, for we are referring to our young hero Ted Light- foot, was born at a very young age. From early childhood, he brushed his teeth regularly with Pepsodent, drank Eagle brand milk and always carried a flask of Squibbs codliver oil. In his school he was a mental wizard. His recitations sparkled like Rogers silverware. At sixteen his endorsement of Royal baking powder was broadcasted over a nation wide hook-up. A few months later his endorsement of Palmolive soap was put in all of the large newspapers. His name became a household by-word because of his many witty and epigrammatic endorsements which were constantly bemg flaunted before the public eye. J At eighteen his parents following the advice of a pam- phlet issued by the Central Insurance Co. sent him to college. His many friends predicted wonderful things-and they were right. He pledged the best fraternity on the campus. He liked military training. He knew all of the professors. He took, the upperclassmen seriously. *****And then the blow fell. His lifeless body was found in the dorm while tightly clenched in his hand was a smokeup in English comp. He had forgotten to endorse his themes. -Pell "That's just exactly where I'm going, Mabel, ... To

the prom!" Sing a song of Junior Proms, Expect a very stormy night, For don't the week-ends always rain To taxi-men's delight? A man could make a fortune if he invented an elastic tux that would fit every one in the fraternity. Think of the triumphant march 000 Of queen with radiant eye,, McGee had gone to see The honor of all honors great Ol' housemother T he onyofannorsgreatIfall the coeds were in; Which money can not buy. When she got there the dorm was bare " "* Because it was a 12:30 nite. " e"e Stude: Did you see the class play last night? Other: Yeah, we were all victims of a foul play.

So sing a song of Junior brawl, Of ginny breath, of crowded hall, They're silly who attend the ball- I'll see you at the Prom.

The boys all called her Nellie because that was her name.

Soph: Whither bound with all that tobacco, wormlet? Frosh: Home. I'm taking three pipe courses. * * * Josephine: Who was that lady, I saw you with last ;;night? Joe: Haw! Haw! not me. Why I went to the state "How's business, Joe?" dance last night. 16 PROM NUMBER

3 - BORINGS

Tisket traskit wah-dedaa. It's the Borings column now...... again and it's just like it was last month and the month * Margaret Stark, that all-American girl, has taken up before-and-. But with all the wippsy spring weather cigarettes. tsk! tsk!...... Mary Clouser and John and the consequent romancy atmosphere it's amazing that Iddings are coking together co-o-onstantly. When Clouser there's nothing more to scribble about. Probably it's be- thinks he needs variety, she turns him over to her best cause there's so much of it all year round that spring sun- friend Betty Zimmer. Don't sneer. It's on the up and up! shine and flowers cannot increase it...... Eva Belle Riffe steps down from Mortar Board As you may or may not have divined, this column has and phi beta kappa and enjoys herself with a certain sig- been composed the past year of the contributions of some manu...... Darry Forst, sigki, has gone on a strike ten or twelve campusites. The contribs have been rewrit- as far as Charlotte Lowey is concerned. He refuses to ask ten and cut and battered and bruised in general. In order for dates three weeks in advance ...... Maxine Piowaty to offer a little variety we're running the whole works as in the recent A. W. S. election tools a girl to vote and finds is, verbatim and in toto, without any changes, cuts, etc. after pep-talking her that the girl is a theta...... Then Notice who and what were mentioned more than once by there is Louise Barnhart who believes Muscle Shoals is an the contributors. Also how. athlete ...... Helene Smith has a secret admirer who * George (Grandpa) Jewett has taken all these years to writes her unsigned letters ...... Marjorie May Cook- find his lady love. And it looks a: if Jewel (theta) Kenney ingham received three dozen roses on Easter: 1 dozen, sorta goes for figam pins...... Mary Kate (alpha o) Royster; 1 dozen, the boyfriend at home, and 1 dozen, Steinkamp is, noi doubt, the "belle" of Jasper. She has Clarke Hine ...... Announcing to all sundry-Eldena the diamond of one boy friend and the sigki pin of an- Burkhart returned Bob Oliver's pin ...... other. As it happens, both are from her home town and * The record for this week at the kiomega house is held neither knows about the other...... Sam (lamdaki) by Dot Henley who went out with kappasig Rooker on Sirois is giving all of his time to Rosemary LaVelle, but Sunday afternoon at 3 and came in at 10:30 ...... how about giving the pin? Lamar Rensberger Wilma Lippert and Herbie Quieser (both freshmen) ran has at last forsaken his alfa o girl in Indianapolis for one a close second on Saturday-5:30 to 12:30...... Marge of the sisters...... Vern (sigmanu) Olson and Eva (kiomega) Harzell gives up the idea of marrying that tall, Belle Riffe have been seen enjoying the spring weather dark and handsome southerner and dates Frank Shively- ...... We wonder why Al Martindale was invited to and do they have it bad! ...... We usually see the the alpha o state dance ...... There are many predic- football team on the field, but at times you can find Angle- tions that the Atkinson-Sundsmo romance will be renewed. meyer, Veller, Walker, Antonini at the kiomega house * Bob (fygam, phibete material) Campbell's fraternity ...... Another budding romance blossoms into long- badge disappeared the same night that Jack (track man) stemmed American Beauties with candy for the house- Neely pinned Alice Coffman. It is suggested that Bob all because of Willine Pancost and Charles Eckert .. . claim either the pin or the girl...... Robert Allyn (fygam, is-my-nose-in-the-air, southern colonel's little * It was hard to tell which countenance was the deeper brother) Royster, of the Henderson (Kentucky) Roysters hue of vermilion when Jane (theta) Wells took a letter to has taken up the saxophone. Look out Wayne King! .... Jerry (fysy) Shine. Said epistle, postmarked Indianapolis, . . . . And now after years of practice, John (fygam, was addressed to Mr. Gerald Shine, Kappa Alpha Theta mighty) Slick can stand on his hands. Ask the alfakis... . house ...... Betas Curry, McCormick and Woodward .... Marion (Bud, right and left) Bowers and Bob (Minnie, continue to thrill the Shortridge girls with regular trips noble lover with the intellectual inclination) Cavanaugh are to Indianapolis...... "Tenth Streeters Retreat as having trouble determining who's who in dating Florence A. T. O. Retains Title"-headline for Rake-Salisbury- (theta, great) Scott and Marg (pyfy, dinner) Bell respec- Campbell-Metzner fracas, when the Chicago O. PG re- tively ...... It seems that Stan (bender, bulldog, lan- turns for another visit ...... George (figi) Jewett has tern jaw, etc.) Atkinson and John (McAdam, lap-dog) a new Jewel in his crown. Kenney take it, do you think? Grimsley, fygam men about town, would like to attend ...... The "cutest" couple on the campus, by unani- the Junior prom but don't know how to go about it. Eligible mous consent-Dick (kappasig) Ewing and Maryanne females with ideas on the subject are asked to call 6397. (theta) Kraft...... It is said that Dick (fygam, medic, the great " Have you noticed the various shades of complexion white) Swan was only a few minutes late in filing his can- Franklin Rudolph has been sporting? He mailed a card to didate for Prom queen. Yes, her name is a secret forever, Lady Esther and as a result has been sampling shades of BORED WALK 17

face powder...... Vivian Steward has the C. W. A. * "These wonderful upperclassmen," muttered John system licked. She stayed a day after vacation started to Stroup as Bob Sippel completed an hour and ten minute get her thirty hours in that week, even though it was conversation with Margo McLaughlin.-and John had ...... three days short ...... Howard Parks put one over on made the original call. Ain't there no justice? Mr. Galavant by wearing a different suit each day of the A gripping show, the skin you love to touch, or perhaps week after he had been named as distinctive in cords, but a combination of the two convinced Cougill and Stark that why wasn't Herman Wait mentioned as the donor? .... they should hold hands at a recent movie...... Late .... John Pawloske doesn't mind the wall decorations of reports indicate that "what-a-man" Spiegel is still going roomie Frank Salsarulo, but if the third cord has to prac- strong. With his kappasig pin at Smith, his daily average tice, he wishes it might be done in the shower room. for dates with kappa Dreisbach is hovering around the one " John (d. u.) McDonald has gone out for the spring drive and one-half mark...... And Bill Bailey is in the with Joan (sigmakappa) Keller, and it doesn't interfere market for a pair of skates. It seems that Jaunita Spors with spring football practice ...... Pity June (sigma- likes to skate. Better be careful, we used to be spry be- kappa) Light who took Jim Wyatt's DeMolay pin and then fore-and these sidewalks sure are hard. the next week-end he went home for an appendectomy. * And that's that. Yet Jim insists that they will go to the Prom (and sit out *0* * the dance)...... Wally (s. a. e.) Nicholls always calls Pauline (sigma-kappa) Singleton to find out what time Huestis is coming over so that he won't get caught when he and Nidrah Dunn are together ...... Dorothy (sigmakappa) Becker is afraid smokeups will keep her out of the "Good News" chorus and away from Verlin (d. u.) Stephens. * Dick Ewing went out of circulation when he planted the crescent and star on Maryanne Kraft, theta ...... Pat Flannigan must have packed plenty of powder because he finally convinced Kathleen Bible, alfaki freshman, that she should wear the deltaki jewelry even though he isn't in school this semester ...... We wonder when George Sherman intends to pin Vivian Brookins,-must we men- tion who she is? ...... If the well-known spring drive does any good at all, Thelma Hohlt should be seen wearing an s. a. e. pin before long ...... John (fygam) Grims- ley has started to be known on the campus. We advise all unattached girls to throw their hats in the ring, because that boy is going to be better known as time goes on...... It seems that Ruth Squibb answered Bob Porter's advertisement and scheduled up some of his time. At least she has been seen with him a lot lately...... We want to know whether the dog Edith Vickers, kappa, "Those mugs Amos 'n Andy just blew in for another has been toting around the campus is hers or the deltakis. weekend!" Personally we have a good idea the dog belongs out on the quadrangle instead of Third street...... Flossie Palm has crashed through again. This time it is with He (fervently) Why not take all of me? another s. a. e. pin. Of course you all know the lucky lad- She: Don't be silly, I've got your pin, your money and Joe Votaw ...... Another proof that the spring drive your car. What more do you want? has started is that Willie Longcamp, alfaki, broke down and took Hank Lowey's fygam (Purdue) pin. She has the courage to wear it out when the fine weather is just start- Reporter: My good man, how do you find the coeds? ing. It must be love! ...... Doris Doolittle, alfaki Stude: Oh, that's easy, just look under the tables and crashed through and became an honorary member of the there they are. good old is-my-face-red club. Doris thought she had a *@*0* date one night with a sigmanu whom she didn't know. Lo Athlete: Bebe, where I came from I was a home run. and behold, it was our dear old friend, Bud Kemmer, the Coed: You may have been a home run where you came sigki, who showed up at the alfaki house. Still believing from but you're just a foul ball to me. that he was a sigmanu, she asked him to sing some of the house songs. Later, it seems that they were talking about the epidemic of measles that has visited our fair campus Oh sad was the tale (you know how it is on blind dates). Doris explained at Of Mormiter Dill. great length how she had seen Rhoda Toothill in the doc- He tried to go to the prom tor's office with a bad case of it. On a ten dollar bill. 18 PROM NUMBER

long as Whitey Wilshere has them and Vic Roberts and Wil- lard Kehrt to back him up and pitch in the series of games. The infield is fast and experienced. First base has been the only problem and R. Farrar and Charles Howorth have SPRING SPORTS alternated to settle that. At the other infield positions Kenney Dugan is on second, Morris Himmelstein at shortstop and Red Baker at by third-men tried and proved good in past campaigns. The outfield is hard-hitting. When Howorth plays in the John garden his big stick combines with that of Malcolm Cox and Ted Shallish to make that the real big gun sector of the attack. And by the way, Indiana seems to have another Sembower hitting team. The trackmen, having lost their Big Ten indoor and Butler relay titles largely because of the j method of scoring used, are on the war path. passed its first-robin season having track They will have to salt away some of the big out- stagespring into thesports thick of the baseball and outdoor THE into the thick door meets to have as brilliant a team record as campaigns, Indiana university plunges of a crammed full spring schedule-quite the habit with formerly. Charley Hornbostel and Ivan Fuqua, Indiana teams during the last few years. the co-captains, seem to be captains in much The closing weeks of April find the most interesting more than name only. They both assume full spring football session of Indiana history drawing to a responsibility for building up the scoring total close, a 22-game baseball card beginning to unfold, an and are doing their share. Most of their really embattled track team getting ready to campaign for more great individual performances of the year are in laurels, and struggling golf and tennis teams getting a the immediate offing. start at last. It was a real moral victory when tennis and Out of the ashes of the disappointing campaign of last golf once more won a place on the schedule. The fall Bo McMillin seems to be drawing a healthy phenix golfers got started early and the University in the way of Indiana's football future. Such amazing drafted them an interesting card. At that time it things as a 60-man spring practice squad and a throng of was understood that tennis would be dropped. ( 1,500 out to see the first intra-squad game of the year have This appealed to the sporting blood of several of entered the record books as mute evidence that things Indiana's faithful followers of the court game and - have been happening. they proposed a plan by which expenses could Even the most skeptical, those who had believed that be cut to rock bottom and distributed among the players. there just wasn't anything very new under the sun in the The plan was accepted and a schedule drawn. This way of football tactics, are having to admit that McMillin's move was significant for it enabled Indiana once more to five-man backfield system is something more than a name conclude the year with a full program of activity. tacked on a minor variation of the same old thing. The center position is forgotten about altogether, backfieldmen shift into the line and linemen into the backfield. Two full- backs are used. The right guard snaps the ball on the plays. Then there are spinners, concealed ball tricks and passes interspersed with these five-man backfield forma- tions. The spring practice session found the same old material back with a few bright spots among the freshmen who will be eligible next fall. The change was apparent in the material, but it was in the tactics this material had to work with. It seems to be the kind of play which makes a bid for the breaks, and Indiana has needed to play that kind of football. But, spring football soon will be laid away and the un- seasonly encroachment on the spring sports soon will be over. The baseball team has an ambitious schedule and appears to h a v e the strength to handle it. The pitching assignments seem ,, - in safe hands as "Naw, the warden wouldn't let me off for the Prom." BORED WALK 19

EDUCATION, UNDER-DONE I've struggled now through sixteen years of school And have amassed a fair sized crop of facts. NOR RIME I can tell a zebra from an average mule, by And know a bass-viol from a tenor sax. bob moore NOR REASON With diligence, and fingers, I can add; I can tell an ox-cart from a Monon train. Napoleon was a chunky little lad; QUITE NORMAL, THANKS Hygiene classes always bring on rain. I'm filled up with the primal urge That plagues man through the month of spring; The stars are quite a little way away; I am impelled, my dear, to merge The pyramids are old; at night it's late; To make my life more interesting, But I have never learned unto this day How to keep my check-stubs running straight.

To gather you into my heart " "- To aid my joys, abet my sorrows, HAVE YOU TRIED ETHER? To share my day's most pleasant part Through the placid realms of sleep And plan my most expensive morrows. Gambol introverts and sheep, Leaving me awake and gay It might be only spring, at most, Through the hours that are not day That causes this distraction, tho finding small surcease from sorrow You'll drink, I trust, a bock beer toast And I may sleep tomorrow. To my customary status quo. In thinking

RESEARCH TO BE SKIPPED BY ALL WHO CARE TO From dawn to dusk the students range I need a suit, I need a shirt, I need a pair of shoes; The pages of the Greek Exchange, I have no money, have my health, and a healthy case of Searching for news of other Greeks, blues. Listening when Banta speaks, I need a rest, but do no work and have nothing to rest Harking to the wise and good from. Thruout the field of Brotherhood. I'll blow discretion with the wind and try the Junior In them the holy lamp of learning Prom. Has been, is, and shall be burning- . . . must bring grave-yard peace A thought that THAT MAKES ME IT To sage and cultured Ancient Greece. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, What in thunder plagues me so? PRAYER Eight o'clocks? Surfeit of sleep? To them that hath, the Lord will give, Too much night spent counting sheep? The rest are lucky if they live. April weather? restaurant food? The rich will prosper, and the poor Overwork? or being good? Will long to hold a sinecure. It should be one of these I know, Dear Lord, withhold the royal wrath, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. And count me in with them that hath. " " . . . . HEADS UP, IT'S SPRING PHILIPPIC AGAINST RESTAURANTS near all that I can take Spring's first robin, viewed with joy I've had to make." By an active, cautious boy. Of food "like Mother used . . . I'm ready now to fill my craw With some that Mother never saw. WET BLANKET The moon has passed from full to new, * * * A fine, spring moon, and I have been MORAL SUPPLIED IF DESIRED Alone thruout its phases; you Delacroix's Romanticism shocked folks to the core, May well be arrogant, and grin Back in eighteen-thirty, thereabout, And feel your time away well spent. But no one gets excited by his paintings any more, I'm sorry, but I've been content. His style of shocking is about played out.

CONFESSION OF FAITH When he began exhibiting the public looked and fled The poor in spirit blessed be; Because they found a horror in his stuff. The first, at least, applies to me, It's not a hundred years since Brother Delacroix's been Now I am waiting for the rest, dead And am quite ready to be blest. And now we view him stodgily enough. 20 PROM NUMB E

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Single Rooms, With bath . . $2.00 Without bath-...... 1.50 In Sterilized Bottles Double Rooms, With bath...... $3.50 up Frat: Heard any good jokes, lately? Tablecloth Cafeteria Frit: Nope, just a couple of clean ones. from 7 A. M. to 2 P. M. " "0 Cafe Service from 5 P. M. to A village parson's daughter eloped in her father's clothes. 8 P. M. 50 & 75c. Next the "Village Blatter" came out with an account of the elopment. It was headed "Flees in Father's Pants." Garage Service -Exchange At Hotel Entrance Math. Prof.-Now Mr. Zilchguard, if I lay three eggs Get the here and five eggs here, how many eggs will I have? Washington Mr. Zilchguard (with a questioning glance)-I don't be- "truthfully a Habit. good hotel" lieve you can do it, sir. -West Pointer

I And then there was the late John Doe, who walked up to the exchange editor and said, "Say, do you want to hear a joke?" -Exchange

DR. GLEN Newlywed: "Did you make these biscuits with your own little hands?" Mc DANIEL Bride: "Why, yes, darling." Newlywed: "Well, who in hell helped you lift them out I. U. of the stove?" -Loc. Eng. Journal D. D. S., 1915 " " " Agnes-You've been a stenographer for about all the big guys in this building. Republican Beth-Yes, I guess I'm on my last lap now. -Exchange Candidate

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T HE A N S MODERN'S PRAYER 22 PROM NUMBER

PROPAGANDA SLIM Dear, am I the first man you ever loved? Yes, Reginald, all others were fraternity boys. C -Purple Parrot O *0* * Professor (to class): "There's a young man in this class M making a jackass of himself. When he is finished, I'll M start." -Old Line E We like to know intimate details about great men-but by Slim Lamar N when the New York Times Book Review publishes an T article entitled, "Tolstoy as His Wife Saw Him," we think S it's going a bit too far.-West Point Pointer. " " " AIR FLOWS: Just heard how England is receiving the cham- She: Is it true that married men live longer than pion howler, Cab Calloway . . . The London Era describes Cab's bachelors? renditions thusly . . . "A coagulation of alpha particles bombard- ing the central nucleus of the audience with an increasing stream He: No, it just seems longer. -Log of scat" . . . and continued by saying "He is a triptych in rhythm; "000" when the band is playing he cannot make the slightest movement "Is he lucky? He took a penny to class the other day which is not a contrapuntal line enhancing the whole musical structure" . . . I gather that they think Cab is pretty "hot" . and made 97 on a true false exam." -The Battalion Did you know that Eddie Duchin has just celebrated his twenty- "0" " fifth birthday . . . That gives me courage as I still have three more years ago . . . Isham Jones and Ozzie Nelson are being She was teaching her first class, and she was very me- billed for Chicago this summer . . . Ozzie is doing a great job ticulous about doing things in the most correct of manners. nite bit . . . Duke Elling- along with Joe Penner on their Sunday She first asked the boys to give their names. The first ton is back on the air via Pacific NBC net-work for the MJB coffee revue . . . Don Redman who accompanied the Mills Broth- boy gave his name as Si. em on the air is billed for a tour of Indiana shortly-don't miss "Oh, no, you should say, Silas," said the sweet young them . . . Bing Crosby has made another change in musical back- ground, Jimmy Crier being the latest victim . . . Sorta' miss Kemp thing. at the Blackhawk but Seymour Simons is doing a good job in The next boy said his name was Tom. his place . . . A newcomer on the Air in Chicago is Tweet Hogan "Oh, no, you should say, Thomas," she replied forcibly. and he features none other than our own Jack Cathcart . . . The most popular song of band leaders seems to be CARIOCA, which "And now, what is the name of the boy back of is featured at least five times nightly on different programs. Thomas?" she asked. Claude Hopkins' HARLEM SERENADE is making a big hit on "Jackass," came the sudden and brief reply. -Dirge Tuesday evenings. . . Another attempt to bring a floor show to the "@"00 air is being made by the College Inn without much success . Frankie Masters is acting as master of ceremonies . . . Jan Garber He was in Chem lab, and the prof was explaining cer- is finally leaving the air for a while . . . Here's hoping that he tain reactions to him; goes to Europe so we can listen to the original Guy Lombardo without interruption . . . Bernie Cummins will be welcomed back "This liquid turns blue if your unknown is basic, and it after his Florida stay. turns red if the unknown is acid." BEST BUYS: YOU'RE O. K. by Isham Jones with a swell vocal "Sorry, but I'm color blind," apologized the brain trust. Casa by Eddie Stone and CAROLINA by Glen Gray and the great "Have you got anything with a bell on it?" -Medley Loma combo assisted by the incomparable Connie Boswell. Recordings this month are very slack . . . maybe spring has reached the recording companies too. Columbia has almost passed HE ALSO EATS MUTTERED BUFFINS that a good theme song out of the picture completely. I may add th for Spring fever sufferers is LAZY BONES recorded by Hoagy Wife: "Bob, we'll have to do something about and the boys. mutler's battress. He claims he wants a new one." Duke Ellington has just put out a collection of very mediocre Hubby: "The what? Who?" records for Victor. The best of the bunch seems to be PEDUCAH Wife: "How silly of me. Of course. I mean the matler and HARLEM FLAT BLUES-way below the Duke's standard. Wish he would get busy and put another record out like THE buttress." SHEIK. Isham Jones, now playing for the people in the big city Hubby: "I still don't get it. What?" has come to the front with a couple of swell discs. It sounds Wife: "We'll have to get the battler a new mutres good to hear Jones again on wax. The best of the two I think is a new hit entitled YOU'RE O. K. with Eddie Stone doing the He's been complaining." warbling. ROLL OUT OF BED WITH A SMILE (I would like Hubby: "Who's been complaining? What about?" to see someone roll out of bed with a smile) runs around in a circle on the other side and is also good. I may also add that Wife: "The mutrer has been complaining about th WAGON WHEELS as recorded by Paul Whiteman is still selling hatless. I mean the batrer has been complaining about tb fast. mutless. The mattress has been complaining about th Freddy Martin, who plays a mean guitar, does a couple of sweet butler!-It's Hawkins; he wants a softer bed." tunes for Brunswick. NEIGHBORS and OVER SOMEBODY ELSE'S SHOULDER, the latter, fast becoming a hit, is the best -Exchang of the two and has a good vocal. Now the great Casa Loma gang " s " panics them with CAROLINA and A HUNDRED YEARS FROM TODAY. Connie Boswell really yodels the chorus of CAROLINA The souls of women are so small, and Lew Wiley does a good job on the other side. Don't SPRING That some believe they've none at all. -But such records on me said the needle to the phonograph. Boswell Sisters with the incomparable Dorsey Brothers . . . the brother and sister team that shouldn't be separated. Stupendous! Coffee in the Morning and Song of Surrender. Tom and Jimmey They do two hits from "Moulin Rouge." Dorsey with a galaxy of star musicians furnish a wonderful back- ground for Connie and her sisters. they're MILDER stefhe TASTE BETTER

® 1934, LIGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO Co. 24 PROM NUMBER

Indiana's Leroy Baker Finest Graduate of I. U. Law School '26 Democratic Candidate Rendezvous for Prosecuting Attorney the MONROE AND OWEN COUNTIES Your support will e appreciated NEW BOOK NOOK subject to the primary May 8, 1934. opposite library

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BLOWING STRONG Drunk (to splendidly uniformed bystander): "Shay, call on May 1st me a cab, willya?" Splendidly Uniformed Bystander: "My good man, I am not the doorman, I am a naval officer." Drunk: "Awright, then call me a boat. I gotta get 6.00 home." -Lion

SIGN UP NOW AT THE TICKET Be Trim Looking OFFICE, BASEMENT Send your shirts to the OF THE BOOK STORE HOME LAUNDRY We serve Indiana University 1934 ARBUTUS Let us serve you Phone 6344 309 South Lincoln Phone 6344 309 South Lincoln BORED WALK 25

Act I-A girl and a fellow went into the woods to pick flowers. Act II-Her mother went along. Act III-Sothey picked flowers. -Owl Can p e tobacco have SANKA VEDDY MUCH SEX AP PEA One of the L? boys was down to a Long Island houseparty on a blind date not so long ago, and he and the lady had been talking of this and that when the lady expressed a desire for a cup of coffee. There happened to be all sorts of beverages handy excepting coffee, tea, milk, and water, and the lad, after offering all of them as substitutes, JILL: "M-m-m. That pipe smells good!" possessing the elements of a business man, wanted to know JACK: "It is good. But I thought most girls what he'd get out of it if he went to all the trouble of get- disliked pipes." ting her one. She said she's let him hold her hand. He JILL: "Maybe it depends on what a man puts asked about the results of his bringing two cups, and was into a pipe. told he could hold both her hands. The lad seemed to see latent possibilities in the deal, and inquired about three JACK: "A good point. There's Edgeworth in cups. He was sweetly informed by this coffee fiend that this one. It's my idea of a man's smoke." for three cups he could kiss her. Not being a sissy, he pressed the issue to four cups. The maid looked up at Maybe we're stretching a point to claim sex him and gravely said: appeal for Edgeworth. But the fact remains, "That would keep me awake all night." -Widow , , " most girls do like its aroma. It is, as Jack says, Lecturer: My watch has stopped. How long have I a man's smoke. Mild, yes-in fact, it's made been speaking? from the tenderest leaves of the Burley plant. Impatient One: You'll find a calendar in the hall. But it's not tasteless, flavorless, because it's -Log mild. Edgeworth is skilfully blended to bring out the rich, full-bodied flavor of IF I COULD GO TO COLLEGE AGAIN the choicest Burley. (Continued from page 13)

their broad, liberal spirit, and their clear, honest thinking. Such graduates as these, though few, rather than large enrollments or winning teams, are the crowning glory of institutions called educational. But, above everything, even palatial fraternity houses and expensive union buildings, I would pick out the college with the great teachers. I mean men and women who were born teachers, who were not on the job just to feed their families or acquire social status, but liked to teach and liked students, who were great artists in the classroom. And I would get into the classes of only those teachers who had something to say, something interesting, inspiring, enlightening, and would dare to say it. What I would hunt all over the college for would be genuine scholars with nimble, active, original brains, who knew their subjects so well, they would not be afraid to be natural and sincere and unaffected, and were fearless in expressing their opinions. This is the college that I would find. And here, in this quiet, beautiful, happy place-happy for all who would study-undisturbed by beauty contests and the other big events in the lives of the puny little students in the other colleges, inspired by interesting, brave, scholarly teachers, stimulated by great books and mind clashing with mind in intellectual prowess and freedom, I would have the time of my life for four short years. After this, if ever, I would start joining things, climbing EDGEWORTH socially, getting elected, and going out for all sorts of SMOKING TOBACCO things. MADE FROM THE MILDEST PIPE TOBACCO THAT GROWS 26 P R O M N U M B E R

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That is, not REALLY " It's time for another promsy-womsy. On the beautiful starlit UNTIL night of April 13th, 450,-oh exactly 450, happy couples will trip the light fantasticly to the music of Hal Kemp. Of course we're gurglish with excitement over the prospect. But don't get us You've Tasted the Meals wrong. A prom's a prom. But a prom with the do, re, me, supplied by Mr. Kemp is something to get your tux collar on backwards about, to put your garters on your wrists and your cuff links in at the your socks about. To be a trifle more explicit . . . we mean that it'll be the anteaters earmuffs having you, Hal. While it's always been one of our staidest convictions that a columnist has about as much business giving his opinions of the current dance bands as a flea has playing marbles with billiard balls, we can't control Cable Coffee Shop usens when it comes to Kemp. . . . Practically the only way we ever manage to persuade ourself to get up before high noon is by reminding ourself, when the call boy snaps us out of slumberland at 6:30 a. x., Under that we can slip on the rags to the music j'\ Steak of a Hal Kemp record program. And that the management of is THE way to start the day with a bang, that is, next to waking up with Hal Dinners MUIR KENNEY and his outfit in person perched on one s bed.

A SPECIALTY I. U. '24 " Have you ever noticed . . . and really it's quite all right if you never have .. .

- I the flagpole on the Union building tower? It's a very charming flagpole as flagpoles Igo. Day after day we've looked hopefully, but as yet it's never been our pleasure to find it adorned with Old Glory, the school banner, or even so much as a Pi Pi Omicron pennant. Since such a ducky bannerstick should be put to a good use, we have a suggestion to make. (Yes, another one.) Let's revive the ancient and honorable art of flagpole sitting, make it intramural, sell tickets, put the athletic department on its feet. HE MID-LAND PRESS offers to And what fun! We could even let the coeds enter, . . . It would give them something to do. Think students and student organizations of the excitement, the glory, . . . the callouses! a thorough and sympathetic understanding of their After all wasn't it Paul Revere who yelped, "Shoot if you must this old grey head, but spare printing and publishing problems. the country's flagpole sitters."

Fraternities and sororities will find a helpful serv- " There is such a scarcity of what are inele- ice in the issuance of chapter or national publica- gantly termed "belly-laughs" in this slightly sordid existence of ours, that frequently we wish tions. there were people sufficiently civic-minded to It will be a special privilege to help work out a take time off and take advantage of the possibilities there are for providing a good, hearty, from- format on prospective publications. the-knee-caps giggle for their fellows. Consider You are invited to visit our plant or to submit the opportunity available to the Junior class president. If, just before he starts the grand your problems for suggestions and quotations. march he should loosen the catch on his garter, so that in the midst of that very formal traipse across Alumni Hall floor, with the Queen on his arm, and the spotlight on the Queen, the sock holder would slide down and drag along behind, he could provide a chuckle for all 450 of the promers, and a memory that would make the 1934 prom the big event of their lives, . . . perhaps of his own life too.

* And now, dear reader, . . . let's make that darling reader, for anyone who reads this cassarole is nothing short of that . . . we SAMUEL R.GUARD & COMPANY INC., PRINTERS AND PUBLISHERS have an offer to make. We want a bon mot from you. You can write about anything under the moon. And for every letter that S4ECRS. NZ4TT is printed here we will ship real quick like by return mail, a smooth sleek one buck bill. Writer's name to be printed only at INDIANA SPENCER . . . . his request. -Maxwell P. Hall