Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 3-18-1994 Volume 29 - Issue 20 - Friday, March 18, 1994 Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Vol. 29, No. 20 ose-Hulman Institute of Technology Friday, March 18, 1994 Camnus News Briefs SGA president initiates two new committees by David Hile emphasis of engineering experience." Institute goals announced Thorn Reporter Without internship opportunities, Wal- Dean Eifert made a motion at "It's time tor us to begin work that lace believes that "Rose students are at Tuesday's institute meeting really matters, that is substantive, and that will have a real impact on this great an extreme disadvantage." seeking the support of the fac- institute." With this call to arms, SGA Wallace claims that the current ulty and professional staff for President Rob Wallace opened his State internship programs are "inadequate" the implementation of the rec- of the Association address presented at and asked SGA to establish an "Engi- ommendations from the Com- this week's Student Government meet- neering Internship Committee." This mission on Future of ing. the Rose- committee will not only deal with the Hulman distributed at the Wallace took the opportunity to problem of summer internships, but will March 8 meeting. The Com- promote two priorities for the spring also examine co-op program possibili- quarter. The first regarded mission's recommendations investigating ties. the status of the current integrated cur- have been combined into eight riculum program. The second, as stated Dean Lucas responded to the idea of institute strategic goals: by Wallace,"is one of the biggest issues co-op programs by saying, "The last • Continuous Improvement: that has ever faced this government time the school carefully examined the Curriculum, faculty and staff since coeducation_ engineering intern- SGA President Rob Wallace stands before the senate to deliver his situation, it decided for lots of reasons ships." •Student Perspective address revealing his plans for SGA's near future. that the idea to make the school into a Photo by James Mann • Student Readiness (paral- In order to investigate the IC situa- co-op school was not in the best interest According to Dean Lucas, the "discontinue [the program], keep it as leling the work environment) tion, Wallace will have his administra- of the student body." Lucas said the fact current IC is it is, or tion distribute and collect a survey for program in place through expand it" •Student Personal Develop- the 1994-95 school year where it will that difficulties in placing students after students. This survey will be used to Wallace's call to improve the state ment be reexamined. Although final plans four years of school "is also true in co-op form an SGA opinion to be presented of engineering intemships comes off are still a year away, Dean Lucas said, programs." However, as job placement •Student Life to the administration regarding the stu- the heels of his own internship with "It is certainly an area worthy of stu- changes over time, Lucas believes "all •Financial Aid Distribution dent body's position on expanding the G.E. According to Wallace, current dent inquiry." *Facilities investment IC curiiculum. Details on the scope of trends with the economy, which has [options] need to be looked at.. but the most important things are contacts •Strengthen External Rela- this survey, who will receive it and how Pete Gustafson summarized the lessened the recruiting efforts of many many, was never disclosed. options for the IC program as either companies, have "increased the within the company." tions Did you know? Students, faculty to display music talents at concert *Further work to finalize plans Students and faculty at Rose- One combination has sophomore for the remodeling and expansion Institute of Technology Dale Backus providing piano of the Hulman Union continues. Hulman con- accompaniment for two groups. The project funding proposal will put aside textbooks and first features Laura Dekker approval by the board of centrate on Brahms and Joplin dur- The Saam in a performance managers calls for the sale of tax- ing the college's 14th annual and Cara hits, exempt bonds that would mature Engineers In Concert program on of two Wilson Phillips' In Love." during a 20-25 year period Saturday at 7:30 p.m. in Moench "Hold On" and "You're •The career services office is Hall Auditorium. The free concert, Once again, the Engineers In continuing to schedule mock the final show of Rose-Hulman's Concert has attracted a wide interview sessions to help 1993-94 Fine Arts Series, gives range of musical talent. Other students in their job search. students and faculty an opportu- performances on this year's pro- Contact Jaynie Casey who is nity to showcase their musical tal- gram include, among otherwise coordinating the program. ents. The college's Glee Club will Tide," "Unchained Melody," •Some companies who have also perform during the two-hour "Java Jive," two selections from not recruited at Rose-Hulman for program. "Our students and fac- the musical "Guys & Dolls," Lady," "Ain't Misbe- several years are calling with job ulty enjoy the opportunity to "Luck Be A 4.1 opportunities. They include Texas present another side of their per- havin'," -Rain," the first move- Piano accompanist Dale Backus, is scheduled to perform again this year. Gas and Potter Brumfield. sonalities, and interact with fellow ment of the "Moonlight Sonata," "My Cup Runneth Hawley, associate director of *Jack Kinney will coordinate classmates and professors out of and "It Could Happen To You." endar Girl," "Breaking Up Is Hard To development, will be the master of a summer program to provide the classroom," says mechanical In addition, the Glee Club will Over," is ceremonies for this year's pro- teachers with advanced training engineering professor Mallory perform "Oh, Rock My Soul," Do," and more. The club gram. in calculus graphing calculators. North, who organizes the concert. "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," "Cal- directed by Ken Steidle. Stan The workshop, June 19-24, will base model. The 620, designed for bring 100 Indiana public school Apple releases Power PC server/mainframe applications, will top teachers to campus. 300 million instructions per second and by Troye Welch nature of RISC chips, they are smaller 192 SPEC marks. In addition, the Pow- News Editor (and thus less expensive to manufac- costs less than Intel's Pentium and out- will run existing DOS, Win- can erPC's ture), they consume less power(i.e. 150,000. Intel, performs it as well), and sold dows, Macintosh, and UNIX What's Inside... In 1991, in an effort to unseat be used in notebooks, and have less The low power (consuming) 603 is applications with ease, as well as the the juggernaut of the silicon industry, overheating problems) and they offer scheduled for release during mid sum- thousands of applications (including 2 Apple, Motorolla, and IBM joined tradi- Campus Calendar tremendous performance. The will introduce the mer, at which time IBM Mathematica) that are being "ported" Rose Bush 2 hands in a billion dollar venture: tional CISC chips commonly used its own very similar version of the 601. (rewritten) to take advantage of the Power PC alliance. Each company has today (680x0, and 80x86) are Opinions: Applications that have been rewritten for speed. In addition, file-starring, plug-n- played key roles in precipitating its suc- approaching the point of diminishing William Raspberry 3 its "native" mode(especially math inten- play, ethernet, SCSI2, and audio/vidoo/ cess: Apple contributed the LTNIX-based returns from a manufacturing, design, More Raspberry 7 sive, CAD,etc.) will see speed improve- speech capabilities am standard built-in. operating system, PowerOpen, combin- economical standpoint, but the Features: and ments of 8 to 10 times for the merest ing the best of Apple's A/UX operating architecture has just begun. Hoosier Hysteria 3 RISC system and IBM's highly successful RS/ Four basic PowerPC chips have Crime prevention 4 Weather Forecast 6000 AIX family. IBM has contributed been planned: 601,603,604, and 620. Weekend National College News: and its well guarded RISC technology On Monday, March 14, Apple released Today Saturday Sunday Rush tour 4 Motorolla is providing the technical the first of the series, the 601 (which ... Sports: and facilities of actual chip fab- expertise .. . Baseball 5 rication. CLIC ses. mt.Performance ..... ::::: 5 key difference between this •••:Ur ...... Sports editorial The : Intramurals 6 new line of computers and its predeces- proces- Partly Cloudy Chance of Showers Track 6 sors lies in the heart of the main Partly Cloudy, Warmer sor. RISC stands for Reduced Classifieds 7 in the mid 40's Highs in the Upper 60's High in the upper 50's Computing. Due to the High Outland 8 Instruction-Set -,1 News • March 18,1994 Page 2 The Rose Thorn • Campus 1,1 Campus Calendar FRIDAY, MARCH 18 The Rose Bush Tennis, Greenville College, Rose-Hulman Courts, 4 p.m. Career Services Interviews: A.E. Staley (Summer Employment) SATURDAY, MARCH 19 Campus News and Information Hall Auditorium, Fine Arts Series, Engineers In Concert, Moench WMHD 90.5 FM who would like to participate in a 7:30 p.m.(Free Admission) mock interview should contact Jaynie 1:30 p.m.(DH) Baseball, Wilmington College, Art Nehf Field, FEATURES ZAPPA Casey. The sessions are not limited to Courts, 11 a.m. Tennis, Elmhurst College, Rose-Hulman MARCH 20 - Religion and Politics seniors only. All students are Rose-Hulman Courts, 3 p.m. Tennis, Brescia College, MARCH 27 - Cover Tunes encouraged to participate. Golf, at Hanover Invitational, Madison, Ind. APRIL 3- The Instrumentals Noon ENGINEERS-IN- Track, at Wabash Relays, Crawfordsville, APRIL 10 - Popular Culture(2 hours) WEEK OF MARCH 20-26 APRIL 17 - Collaborations CONCERT SUNDAY, MARCH 20 APRIL 24- Sex The Fine Art Series will present Baseball, Albion College, Art Nehf Field, 1 p.m.(DH) MAY 1 - Beating the Boots Engineers-in-Concert on Saturday, MONDAY,MARCH 21 JOB SEARCH March 19 at 7:30 p.m. All are invited Auditorium JV Baseball, at Lincoln Trail College, Robinson, Ill., 2 p.m. WORKSHOP to come to Moench Hall TUESDAY, MARCH 22 for this free performance.(See related Job search workshops will be held Tennis, University of Southern Indiana, Rose-Hulman article on page 1.) and 24, at 4:30 p.m. in Courts, 3:30 p.m. on March 22 EIT REVIEW SESSIONS Room,4:30 p.m. the Worx. Students of all grade levels SGA Club Council Meeting, PA This is a list of scheduled review Meeting, Shook Fieldhouse, 7 p.m. are encouraged to attend the workshop Fencing Club sessions brought to you by Pi Tau Career Services Interviews: Secure Computing Corp., A.E. Staley to discuss employer networking, Sigma. All sessions are from 4:30 to (Senior Chemical Engineering Majors) interview preparation, resumes, and 6:30 p.m. WEDNESDAY,MARCH 23 cover letters. 3/23 E-104 Statistics, Dynamics President's Administrative Council, PA Room, Hulman CAREER SERVICES Mech. of Materials Union, 8 a.m. WILL HOLD MOCK 3/24 E-104 Solar Phantom Team Meeting, B-109, 7 p.m. 3/29 E-104 Chemistry Career Services Interviews: Berry Plastics INTERVIEWS 4/12 GM Fluids, Heat transfer, FRIDAY, MARCH 25 The Career Services Office has Thermodynamics Rose-Hulman Undergraduate Mathematics Conference, All Day been conducting mock interview 4/14 E-104 Eng. Economics SATURDAY, MARCH 26 sessions for those students who would SUBMISSIONS TO THE like to improve their interviewing Rose-Hulman Undergraduate Mathematics Conference, All Day ROSE BUSH Baseball, at Hanover College, Hanover, 1 p.m.(ICAC DH) skills. Employer representatives Tennis, University of Chicago, Rose-Hulman Courts,9 a.m. conduct the interviews which are Submissions to the Rose Bush Track, at University of Indianapolis Invitational, Noon taped and reviewed with the student. should be made through the mailroom WEEK OF MARCH 27-APRIL 2 This also gives the student an before noon each Wednesday. Submissions may also be made to the MONDAY,MARCH 28 opportunity to seek advice regarding his job search in general. Any student Campus Editor at the Thorn office. JV Baseball, at Indiana State University, 5 p.m. TUESDAY,MARCH 29 SGA Senate Meeting, GM Room, 4:30 p.m. Track, Wabash College, Phil Brown Field, 4:15 p.m. The Rose Bureaucrat Night Exam, Computer Science 100 (All Sections), 7-9 p.m. Senator RHA Give Up A Meal James L Hicks - SGA Career Services Interviews: Major Tool & Machine WEDNESDAY,MARCH 30 The 16 March 1994 meeting of Four new senators were President's Administrative Council, PA Room,8 a.m. the SGA Senate marked the first confirmed to fill vacancies in the Baseball, Olivet Nazarene, Art Nehf Field, 1 p.m.(DH) appearance of the new executive Senate: Jason Barker (Commuter), Solar Phantom Team Meeting, B-109, 7 p.m. officers. These positions are now Kendrick Haslett (Commuter), Kevin THURSDAY, MARCH 31 being filled by Rob Wallace Hayes (Commuter), and Vince Start Of Spring Break, After Last Class (President), Ashvin Lad (Vice- Valenzuela (Speed). FRIDAY, APRIL 1 President), Brent Mutti (Secretary), Treasurer Jeff Wrana reported Good Friday Jeff Wrana (Treasurer), Shawn Eads that the general fund currently Tennis, at Kerry Seward Invitational, Crawfordsville, 9 a.m. (Publicity Director), and Scott contains $3345.28, and that 10% of Golf, at Prairie Fire Classic, Galesburg, Ill. Condon (Executive Director). third quarter student activity fees, or SATURDAY, APRIL 2 President Rob Wallace about $3000, have yet to be credited Baseball, at Wabash College, Crawfordsville, 1 p.m.(ICAC DH) addressed the Senate, pointing out the to that account. Tennis, at Kerry Seward Invitational, Crawfordsville, All Day two major issues he feels the Senate Senator Leslie Donaldson Golf, at Prairie Fire Classic, Galesburg, Ill. should pursue this quarter. First, he (Scharpenburg) resigned from the Track, at Indiana Intercollegiates, IUPUI,9 a.m. encouraged the Senate to develop a Senate, citing the failure of the Senate FUTURE FILE policy statement concerning the to remove him from office despite his APRIL 3 -- Easter Integrated First Year Curriculum in four unexcused absences from Senate APRIL 6 -- Baseball, Earlham College, Art Nehf Field, 1 P.m. Science, Engineering, and meetings. The SGA constitution APRIL 11 -- Spring Quarter Resumes, 8:05 a.m. Mathematics(IFYCSEM). His second states that a senator who accumulates APRIL 12 -- Institute Meeting, E-104, 4:20 p.m. point was to promote engineering two unexcused absences is to be APRIL 16 -- EIT Examination internship opportunities for Rose- removed from the Senate. APRIL 16 -- Deadline For Midterm Progress Reports Hulman students. To this end, the old The volleyball committee was APRIL 22 -- Last Day To Drop Course Without Penalty Summer Internship Committee was granted a request for $60.00 to APRIL 23 -- Campus Beautification Day dissolved and replaced by a new, reimburse members for entry fees APRIL 30 -- Rose Show/Parents Weekend more general, Engineering Internship recent tournament at ISU. MAY 3 -- Registration For Fall Quarter, 1994 from a Committee, consisting of Tim MAY 23-26 -- Final Exams For Spring Quarter Boyd, Benjamin Byers, Clayton Bureaucrat is a MAY 28 -- Commencement, Shook Fieldhouse, 11 a.m. Epps, Gabe The Rose Ferland, Dan Fox, Kendrick Senate. All ORGANIZATION NOTICES: Information on club meet- Haslett, publication of the SGA Doug Ihrig, Scott ings, lectures/speeches, and athletic events must be received before Kuester, Darren Rose students are welcome to visit the Long, Scott noon each Wednesday. Please contact Dale Long, associate director of O'Brien, and Mike SGA office to discuss issues or read communications, at Box 14 or extension 8418. Wisecup (Chairman). the minutes. The Rose Thorn • Opinions & Features • March 18,1994 Page 3 Why so many schools fail to do their jobs I'm not given to conspiracy Clinton's point is that we ers and nine-tenths of the But I have also been in schools some techniques work theories. I don't believe that the need to pool better information, to students are black — as are the where principals and teachers than others. miseducation of black and brown make available to less -successful superintendent, the mayor and work tirelessly with their chil- children — particularly poor schools and teachers the tools most members of the school dren, spend their own money for But it is also true that teach- black and brown children — is a and techniques of the exemplary board and city council. classroom supplies and enter into ing is more art than science, and scheme to maintain a supply of ones. some teachers are simply supe- Despite the anecdotal loving conspiracies with parents sanitation workers or to keep the rior artists. It might be of enor- But it's not that simple. The accounts of arrogant or uncaring — all without making much dif- prison industry humming. I find mous help if educational leaders it inconceivable that any signifi- successful tools and techniques teachers, I believe most teachers ference in the children's aca- run the compiled and analyzed and cant number of white people gamut from such back- try to do their jobs — both demic success. to taught "best practices" to strug- should have an interest in perpet- -basics approaches as phonics because they want to be success- and Ah, but have they tried phon- gling teachers, as Clinton implic- uating an underclass — if only stand-and-deliver traditional ful and because they want the children to learn. ics? Have they tried reorganizing itly suggests. because of their fear of crime. their schools? Have they consid- I'm not sure But if there are few people Certainly I have been in ered changing principals? it's helpful at all who positively wish these chil- WILLIAM classrooms where teachers to suggest, as the sainted dren harm, are there some — seemed content to concentrate on There's no doubt something Edmonds did, that teachers of many — who simply don't care RASPBERRY a few eager learners and write off to all the nostrums we keep dis- most poor and minority children whether they learn or not? It may Washington Post most of the rest as lost causes. covering. Some approaches, simply don't give a damn. not be the same thing, but it's close enough. Syndicated Columnist What prompts the question is the rediscovery of this quote instruction to cooperative learn- And the hysteria lives on... from the late education guru Ron ing teams to hands-on classes Edmonds: with little apparent attempt to by Frank Pfeiffer the players bounced from car to before long, and by now our "We can, whenever and maintain order. Thorn Columnist car, greeting friends and leaving team trailed by seven. wherever we choose, success- "It's been a long time a- Some of the best results behind a wake of green crepe. The game had been moving fully teach all children whose come from a near-classical peda- comin," said both young and old Police cars and fire trucks stood alike two weeks ago after my at a speed almost beyond com- schooling is of interest to us. We gogy, others from rampant cre- ready, and when the team prehension, and when at the start already know more than we need ativity, still others from so-called home town basketball team won its first sectional championship stormed onto the bus, the crowd of the fourth quarter four players to in order to do that. Whether or "direct learning" and other com- since 1950. sounded their horns to a deafen- began scrapping for the ball not we do it must finally depend mercial programs. What lessons under the opponent's basket, I Randolph Southern High ing level. upon how we feel about the fact is a struggling teacher supposed saw a strange thing happen. The School is a consolidation of Lynn Before the last vehicle had town stood up. Not to scream, that we haven't so far." to learn from that successful and Spartanburg High Schools, left the parking lot, the parade President Clinton, speaking "someone, somewhere" who has the not to yell: from the cheering and the new building has a tro- had already wrapped around section outward, in a silent and last year at a session of the Dem- solved the pedagogic puzzle? phy case devoted to the one-time town. Nearly two hundred cars ocratic Leadership Council, said And what is she supposed to swift wave of nearly a thousand rivals. In the back of that trophy made a convoy over five miles adding a new tro- something quite similar: had the families souls intent on learn from Edmonds' harsher case hangs the banner from the long. Not only phy to the case back home, the "Every educational problem notion that we already know how Spartanburg 1947 sectional of the players come out, an entire whole town stood up. Through- in America has been solved by to teach all children "whose championship team and a giant community would make the out the rest of the game, as they someone, somewhere." schooling is of interest to us"? photograph of the 1950 team thirty mile pilgrimage to watch baskets and jeered bad their boys play in the regional. cheered Are these men correct? Clin- That her failure to teach some of from Lynn. I looked at the names calls, they stood. They never sat ton certainly is. There are her children is solely her fault — on the old trophies and loving Along the way, people came down again. As the final minutes from their homes to watch the schools where children of unedu- and not for lack of technique but cups and recognized a few who ticked away, players began to and had spectacle and to shout their best for lack of will? had put down roots foul out of the game, and each cated parents learn to speak and stayed in the community. The wishes; some just stared in awe. write standard English. There are Watching the routine success went out with a hearty round of 1950 team even included an We found our seats in the applause from their fans. schools whose children, defying of some extraordinary educators aspiring sophomore named John all demographic expectations, and the routine failure of others giant arena and faced our oppo- Mutchner, who went on to coach All When the final buzzer went science. There whose children come from simi- nents, clad in their fiery red. excel in math and basketball at Rose-Hulman for tunnel off, we knew that it was over. backgrounds, it's tempting to eyes were fixed on the Rebels' are schools that are safe havens lar twenty-five seasons. the teams would emerge. The Randolph Southern where just couldn't make from the violence of the streets conclude, with Edmonds, that If you want to see basketball The crowd§ on both sides sent up dream team cut. No one reached for their around them — havens, even, the miseducation of poor chil- at its best, all you need to do is an uproarious cheer as a young the from the children's own dysfunc- dren is willful. I don't believe it. go to any small town in Indiana. I from a pro- coats or prepared to leave right boy, now crippled stood a tional families. Name a problem I don't believe it in those school hitched a ride home to watch the disease, sped onto away, though. We all gressive heart to give our boys a and, as the president says, it "has districts where most of the teach- Rebels play in the regional tour- the floor in his motorized wheel- while longer hand and to show them we were been solved by someone, some- ers are white and most of the nament, and found that "Hoosier chair, waving a tiny Rebel flag. alive today as it proud. where." And rarely does it turn pupils black or brown. And I Hysteria" is as Our mascot and team followed, was half a century ago. out that money is the critical fac- don't believe it in a place like but I think that that boy had truly The next day it rained in tor in the unexpected success of Washington, D.C., where virtu- Saturday dawned clear and stolen the show. Lynn, Indiana, washing away all awoke these schools. ally all the principals and teach- crisp, as the town of Lynn The tip-off fell in our favor, the paper and the paint and the from beneath the green streamers and we soon showed the doubt- hoopla. signs, and of and balloons and ers that we could perform from In a small, dark gymnasium, course, the green toilet paper. I the start. The boys fought hard to with the faces of old victors not The Rose Thorn had arrived at my old high school keep an early lead, but were quite forgotten looking on, a 5500 Wabash Avenue, Box 170 early, but within ten minutes my down by two at the end of the young man in well-worn sweats later, Terre Haute, Indiana 47803-3999 truck was surrounded by cars and first quarter. Eight points dribbles a ball, then shoots. trucks and vans, all decorated halftime saw us behind by only Phone:(812) 8774255 next year. beyond recognition. Mothers of one. The third buzzer sounded Just wait until Editor in Chief Chad Zigler Features Editor Paul Sigler News Editor Troye Welch Sports Editor Adrian Reid Aw4 Campus News Editor Scott Allen Layout Editor Chris Lawrence Ff Photo Editor Scott Gage Valleys"own Doug Ihrig Wabash Ad/Business Manager Me Advisor David Piker News Reporters Jarod Bradfield, David Hile, Andy Nuxoll and Michael G. Payne CNN Card Photographer James Mann Sports Reporters Brady Neukam and Greg Rossi Buttafuocoist Ben Crawford Columnists Chris Lawrence, Frank Pfeiffer and • Robert J. Wallace I4 .A: 91 AIR Fm Busters Doug Burton, Clayton Dumcum, Jay Moorman,Ira Rainey and Annual Fee* Damon Swope • No The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays at Stop by your nearest First Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology banking center for an application.

The Rose Thorn welcomes letters and comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 300 words long. The editors to edit letters for grammar, clarity and length (if over 300 TERRE HAUTE reserve the right year words). All letters to the editor must contain the writer's signature, class number. All submissions will be confirmed before publication. FIRST NATIONAL and phone contain the Letters may be E-mailed to Th orn@R ose- H u I man .Ed u, but still must confirmation. For prompt publication, letters should Member FDIC writer's phone number for must BANK be typewritten or printed by computer. All letters for an issue of the Thorn be received before noon on the Tuesday prior to publication. Atwi etlyX 11, remind our readers that the views expressed in the Thorn a year. We would like to school *If card is used at least twice do not necessarily represent the opinions of the editors, the administration, or anyone other than the original author. • March 18, 1994 Page 4 The Rose Thorn • Local &National Crime prevention at college is often just good,common sense of your vehicle. Do not leave c. Reduce the risk of loss by c. For compact items that you f, I 1' by The Rose-Hulman areas do not provide the security items unattended in the keeping smaller items such as a need readily available, consider Security Office of private areas. More visible your wallet, purse, or calculator on using one of our "bank type" importantly, we just don't give passenger compartment of Some occasional problems your increased vehicle. your person rather than in safety deposit boxes housed in experienced at colleges or much thought to the book bag. our security building. Safety risk of loss in more public areas. c. When using athletic universities are the loss or theft - The open the Rose- lockers always use a 3. Residence Halls deposit box access is available , rt of wallets, purses, calculators, Public areas on department living concept within our 24 hours per days. other valuable Hulman campus that may not lock, and never leave anything books, and residence halls is very important personal items. Unfortunately, readily provide the opportunity short or long term in a locker 4. Vehicle Storage - Stored items how to you academically and as we travel about, we find for securing personal until you determine any college campus socially. This concept should vehicles on ourselves away from the may be as follows: important it is to you. Can you not have to represent a threat to which are owned by resident security of our own little niche 1. Shook Fieldhouse - any afford to experience its loss and you. Develop a "good neighbor" students and fraternity residents and often in situations where we athletic activity in this facility is it replaceable? policy with trusted individuals may not be driven as frequently cannot always be as organized could also lead to the loss of d. Never lay your wallet or in adjacent rooms. as a commuter vehicle. It is not or secure. valuable items while recreating purse anywhere without a. Anytime you leave your room uncommon for individuals to We become more or participating in an athletic securing them. open and unattended for park personal vehicles on vulnerable and we increase our event. 2. Hulman Student Union anything, reguest that a good Sunday of any given week, and risk of loss when leaving a. Practice being "personally Building - The Hulman Union is neighbor will monitor activity not actually see or operate it valuables in areas that are more accountable" for your valuables. a beehive of activity and at until the following week. by asking yourself, in your absence. When you again public. Sometimes it's b. Begin times, you are required to leave really need to take this shower or participate in a study necessary to leave an item "Do I unattended items behind while It is very important to check with me when I know I may not or social session down the hall unattended for a few seconds, eating in our food service or on stored vehicles during the while and can't take your wallet and and a few seconds may be all it be able to secure it in our week regardless of whether a while browsing other valuables with you, this takes. Theft is a crime of recreating?" vehicle is driven or not. Inspect bookstore. technique will offer opportunity and, unfortunately If it's necessary to take them on a regular basis to a. Practice being "personally security. we sometimes fall victim to along a valuable, reduce the risk tremendous, unnoticed accountable" for your valuables. determine if a vehicle has trunk Return the favor for a good theft, simply because public of loss by locking it in the sustained unreported property b. Allow enough time to secure neighbor when needed. damage or perhaps to discover a valuables in your residence hall b. Instill the thought that vehicle has experienced auto or the trunk of your vehicle, security barriers exist on your rather than to leave them floor by safely confronting burglary. Time factors are unattended while you eat or individuals that you don't know important to you the vehicle browse. Consider or can't be sure about. A simple, owner for insurance purposes, implementing a "buddy system" but diplomatic, "Can I help for investigative purposes, and where you can secure valuables you?" may be all it takes to for alerting security that more in a vehicle or residence hall thwart a potential theft. If in concentrated patrol may be closer than your own. doubt, contact security! needed in a parking area.

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Rush's Tour: A High-Tech Experience

by Joanna Young audience on a music-filled sci- ent in constructing complex Looking for some fun??? The Colonnade, ence fiction adventure. Com- rhythms. A spellbinding medley Go rollerbincling. But in the nwantinw... Georgia College puter animation of flying bones of "Xanadu" and "Hemispheres" Join the Rose Thorn Staff" For 20 years, the Canadian and "rap" skeletons were pro- geared the audience up for "Tom power trio Rush has captivated jected on the gigantic screens The Thorn is looking for people to fill the following positions: Sawyer," which other than audiences with unforgettable during the song "Roll the Sports Reporters & Photographers tours. In celebration of their Bones." In "Time Stand Still," "Closer," is Rush's greatest News Reporters anniversary this year, band the ethereal solo of Aimee Mann contribution to classic rock. A Ads Manager members are offering no less (in a sampled form) rang brief, but breathtaking, pyrotech- Layout Artists than spectacular, touting behind Columnists throughout the arena, as videos nics combination accentuated their 19th and latest release Contact the Thorn Office at extension 8255 for details. of swinging antique pocket- the song's already high energy. "Counterparts." Currently, Rush watches created a hypnotic Although Rush devoted most of is about to wind up the first leg effect. Speakers high above the the night to their older material, of its U.S. tour, and before the back audience added a new last they performed several tracks performance April 23 at dimension of sound, making Nassau from "Counterparts." The one- • DELIVERS GREAT' Coliseum in Long Island, synthesizer-generated voices and NY, thousands two rock punch of "Stick It Out" will have been effects hauntingly real. Even dazzled by the band's heightened the show's electric- DEALS TO high-tech with the great use of technology, performance. The futuristic a song feel the band was still the focus ity. "Double Agent," of Rush's music comes to life point. about the constant protagonist/ ROSE HULMAN with brilliant spotlights that antagonist battle within a CIA maneuver freely into Early in the show, energy TERRIFIC TUESDAY SPECIAL the audi- agent, featured a moody video ence, video screens that flash was lacking, as the band simply and flames that popped out of S 99 pictures and animation, pyro- played and let the visual effects burners at the ends of the stage. LARGE technics and flame shooters, and take over. But later, lead vocalist faltered during the PIZZA the band's personal chemistry and bassist Geddy Lee and gui- Lee's voice and extraordinary tarist and backing vocalist Alex anthem "Nobody's Hero," but ONE FREE musician- TOPPING ship. During the Feb. 24 show Lifeson teased those fortunate to sang the more awkward har- JUST ASK! NP" OR ONE 32 or.. PEPSI at The Omni in Atlanta, Rush be on the front rows. Both mony part on the group's latest satisfied fans by performing strolled around to the edges of single, "Cold Fire." The songs from past albums and the stage or met each other in the choice in songs created an excel- mETTpro from their latest release. The middle to jam away. Lifeson was lent retrospective of Rush's two-hour show began with a in an 7 'J especially joking mood, as extensive career. When com- short film, which brought the he threw out a few puns in- ONE bined with the special effects, TOPPING PIZZAS "Counterparts" album cover to between song sets. Some of & An Order of life the show became an experience Breadstix in a dramatic, yet comical thethighlights of Rush's Atlanta with your choice doesn't tour of one sauce: way. The band then jumped into of a lifetime. Rush lNACHO concert included the extended CHEESE, or garlic butter or pizza sauce the usually every two years rocker "Dreamline" from the version of the classic "Closer to much, 1991 album "Roll the Bones." the Heart," which turned into an after the release of a studio From the first note until the audience sing-along. Drummer album. Rock fans should not 00 encore, 234-4940 adrenaline was pumping, Neil Peares drum solo showed pass up the chance to see this as the heroes on stage lead the his incredible endurance and tal- show. It is the work of masters. The Rose Thorn • Sports • March 18, 1994 Page 5 Rose hoping for offensive improvement Saturday Tryon putting on show ring average; and outfielder ida. Albion hasn't played since with the bat, on the mound Aaron Junkersfeld, who is hit- that trip. ting.400. Look for a more aggressive (5-4 and Fngineer I.eaderN 2-1). Overall, the team ERA, a team-high 23 strikeouts tose-Hulman baseball team on collected 10 hits and left 12 run- However, (ill 19 innings) and completed Batting: Eric Try on,.444; Kyle he field and in the batter's box ners on base. two of his three none of the Curry,.429; Aaron Junkersfeld, when the appearances. At his weekend team "We've got to hit the base- team's other 400; Brian Mary an,.294 home season with dou- the plate, Tryon has a.444 batting pens its ball, period. We can't rely on our regular play- ,1e-headers against Wilmington average. Last Saturday, he went Hits: Kyle Curry, 9; Eric Tryon, pitching to carry us. Those play- ers 4-for-6, with a have 8; Aaron Junkersfeld, 8; Brian 2.ollege and Albion College at ers that hit will play," professes home "run, two a.300-or-bet- Mary an, 5; Brandon Hollis, 5; krt Nehf Field. Rose-Hulman Coach Jeff Jen- doubles and ter batting Clint Hiatt, 5 Saturday's games with Wilm- kins, whose team had a 4-3 four RBIs. average. rigton are scheduled to begin at record. Home Runs: Eric Tryon, 1 Rose-Hulman wasn't ranked 1:30 p.m., while Sunday's twin- As a case in point, Rose-Hul- Other top in this week's NCAA Division RBIs: Eric Tryon, 6; Kyle Curry Dill against Albion starting at 1 man's pitching staff has a com- players include III national poll for the first time 5; Clint Hiatt, 4 D.m. (All four games will be bined 1.57 earned run average righthanded Tryon in two seasons. Albion, Sunday's broadcast by WMHD-FM 90.5) Strikeouts: Eric Tryon, 23; this season. However, the team's pitcher Shawn Brainard, who has opponent, should have been. The Shawn Brainard, 15; Alan Eller, After winning four of five batting average is.263. a 2-1 record, 15 strikebuts and Britons boast a 8-1 record and 8 games during a trip to Florida, Freshman pitcher/designated 2.25 ERA; righthanded pitcher have been the only team to he Engineers' offense collapsed hitter Eric Tryon of Terre Haute Alan Eller, who still has a 0.00 defeat the nation's No. 1-ranked ERA: Alan Eller, 0.00; Eric ast Saturday in losing two one- is doing his fair share. On the ERA after three games; catcher team, Marietta College (Ohio), Tryon, 0.95; Shawn Brainard, un games at DePauw University mound, the lefthander has a 0.95 Kyle Curry, who has a.429 bat- during their spring trip to Flor- 2.25; Doug Meyne, 4.50 Team picking methods from the "Mule" -- March Madness Money Makers

Editorial Feature also a rare occurrence. Such teams. basketball and complete lunacy. the brackets. The main idea be- by Adrian Reid teams as UC Santa Clara, Rich- • Which teams has the team • What is the game's geo- hind all of these selection -sys- Sports Editor mond, Cleveland State, and beaten during the year? This is graphical location? This question tems" is to pick the eventual Providence have rendered the vital information because an in- sounds rather unimportant, but it winner and win all of the cash for The NCAA tournament signi- two-sheet systems ineffective in dividual can use one team that is essential in relation to picking a charitable cause, of course. 5es the time of the year for the the past. another teams has beaten to com- upset teams. For instance, if the Undoubtedly, the primary basketball experts to gain fame, Perhaps the most popular pare other teams in the tourna- East Regional were held in Char- constituent in all of these meth- astonishing the rest by picking the way people choose their teams is ment. If Maine State beats lotte and UNC-Charlotte, a low ods is luck. This is the one thing most winners. Of course, through the group method. This entails Southern New Hampshire twice seed, were playing there, then that all pool winners share be- office pools and other friendly three or more people discussing then loses to East Central Ver- they have a good chance of beat- cause nobody can consistently wagers, almost anyone has the op- and selecting their teams togeth- mont, a team that Southern New ing an out-of-state, high seed be- pick winners and win pools using portunity to voice his or her opin- er. By talking about the teams Hampshire beat by fifty points, cause they have the home court any system. The tournament nev- tie Over many years of and their respective seasons, then Maine State can't possibly advantage. er fails to surprise us with its ix tournaments, I have witnessed each person in the group can beat Rhode Island Tech, who has These three are not the only magical buzzer beaters, its con- many different selection methods, complete his picks in a minimum beaten all three teams once. ways to choose teams. Two other troversial game finales, or its im- rt nany of which are unique to say of four hours. Before writing a However, Maine State did lose methods include the following: possible comebacks. This is the the least. team in the next space, he or she thirteen games, so they may lose studying the tournament history meaning behind March Madness. Those who know little about must answer several questions: in the first round anyway....Obvi- of particular teams and using it to Although we realize the impossi- basketball may resort to the uni- • In what conference does ously, while trying to answer this predict these teams' successes or bility of picking teams, we faith- forms, hoping form color method of selection. the team compete? Normally, question, a smart group must flirt failures in the present tournament, fully fill out the correctly. We The power colors (red, dark blue, ACC, Big East, Pacific Ten, Big with the endless digression of the and using probability to deter- that we will choose for the money, but for black, etc.) usually triumph over Eight and Very Big Ten teams season's events without over- mine each teams' chances given do this not "principal." the weaker colors (green, yellow, take precedence over other stepping the line that separates their arrangement and seeding in the light blue, orange, pink, etc.). In other words, under this system North Carolina had some of the Road to the Final Four in Charlotte, N.C. biggest upsets in tournament his- tory last year. Furthermore, the 1 Missouri 1 - N.C. only chance they have this year 16 Navy 16- Liberty 8 Wash. Si. occurs if they play the Syracuse 8 Cincinnati -Boston Col. Orangemen, Oklahoma State, or 9 Wisconsin 19 Indiana UCLA. Obviously, this system 5 - California 5 - 12 Ohio has its flaws, so the people who 12- Wis.-G.B. 4 - Temple use it usually pick a few upsets in 4 - Syracuse 13 Drexel the first round but never succeed 13- Hawaii 6 - Nebraska in winning pools. 6 - Minnesota II - Penn. 5 A less-noticeable system for 11 - S. III. 3 - Florida selecting one's teams is the two 3 Louisville 14-1 Madison sheet system. This involves a per- 14 Boise Si. 7 - Ala.-Birm. son filling out two different tour- 7 - Virginia 10-Geo. Wash nament pairing sheets. On one 10-N. Mexico 2 Conn. sheet, he picks the winners, usual- 2 - Arizona 15 - Rider ly the higher seeds. The other 15-Loyola "upset picks". sheet contains the Championship Game By investing twice as much, this 1 - Purdue person not only insures himself 1 - Arkansas I 16- Ctrl. Fla. some bragging rights for having 16- N.C. A&T 8- Providence picked at least one major upset, 8 Illinois 9 Alabama but also doubles his chances for 9 - G'town 5-Wake Fst. winning....or so it seems. Unfor- 5 - UCLA 12 Charleston rex tunately, the upset sheet isn't very 12 - Tulsa 4 - Kansas practical for picking the teams 4- Okla. Si. I3-Ten.-Chat that have the best chances for 13-N.M. State' 6 - Mar uette winning games since two-sheet 6 - Texas 11 SW La. system users pick these teams to 11 - W. Kv. I 3 Kentuck be upset. Although every tourna- 3 - Michi an 14 - Tenn. St. ment has upsets, a tournament 7 - Mich. Si. upsets is 7 Si.Louis with most of its games as 10-Scion Hall barely the same light, feasible. In 2 - Duke an NCAA tournament in which 2- Mass. I5-Tex. South every higher seeded team wins is 15-SW Tx. St.1 • March 18, 1994 Page 6 The Rose Thorn • Sports Intramural Information Pairings Basketball and Volleyball Tournament

Minor League Basketball Tournament Major League Basketball Tournament Blumberg Fiji 1 Blumberg 1 Dog Pound Fiji B e Blumberg 1 nakebite LCA 1 Snakebite Fiji Mentors Xtreme Brian's Mentors Xtreme I Bobcats SN 1 Bobcats Fiji Bobcats Bye Dunagan Bobcats To be played Pike LCA Pike Monday, March LCA Blumberg 2 21 LCA ATO Schar Homies Schar Homies BSB 3 Scharp Bye League Basketball Tournament ed 2 AA seed 2 S Schar Cro-Mags Bad Boys Cro-Mags Bad Boys Blue LCA 1 Cro-Mag LCA 2 Bye LCA ATO 2 ATO LCA 2 SN Jrs. Major League Volleyball Tournament LCA 2 Team Beam Triangle Play Pen Triangle Play Pen Cheeseheads Squirrels Triangle Blind Squirrels Sigma Nu Squirrels Sigma N4 Cutters D'Wailers IND Track ATO Chickenheads Chickenheads Brown vaults to fourth in the nation IND by Brady Neukam LCA IND Mike Brown journeyed to the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh last IND weekend for the pole vault competition of the Div. III National Indoor Track & Field Championships. He qualified with a vault of 15' 7 1/2", but was up against some stiff competition. The highest qualifying vault was listed at 16' 3" Intramural Notes In the competition, many of the vaulters managed to make it over 16' 0", including Mike. The bar was raised to 16' 3 3/4", and the Junior ME major •If you are interested was the in umpiring intramural softball games this spring first to attempt. With an amazing personal record by 8"(not to men- tion see Coach Ruark at your earliest it being a school record), he cleared the height on his first try. convenience. His office is located in However, Moench Hall the jubilation was short-lived. Surprisingly, five more vaulters D-223. Or call him at extension 8496. cleared that height and it was back to business. The bar was then raised to 16' 7 3/4", a new Div. III record. Using a bigger pole, Brown came close to clearing the monumental height which none of the tint four "alive" vaulters could clear. One of the remaining two vaulters, from the University of Wisconsin-Lacrosse cleared Ready the mark for a new record and the national championship. to WIN999" Brown ended up with 4th place, which is the position he tied for in the 1992 indoor nationals. Said Brown,"I wanted to improve on my placing (in 1992). but 1 was ecstatic to get a P.R. by eight inches." Pick the Final Eight, Final Four, the NCAA National Pole Vault Results Championship Game and the score ol (Top six places) the Marx Championship Game. NB= School Height Cleared 1 Mike Scluiurr Univ. Wis.-La Crosse 16' 7 3/4" 2T Matt Robinson MIT WIN 16 3 3/4" a Large 2-item Pizza Pizza 2T Drew Orsinger from Domino's Coast Guard Academy 16' 3 3/4" 4 Mike Brown Rose-Hulman 16' 3 3/4" 5 James Nixon St. Univ. of N.Y.-Albany 16' 3 3/4" Use the 6 Doug Clary bracket on page Univ. of Wis. -La Crosse 16' 33/4" 5 to send in your entries ake sure your name and includei Note: Vaulters clearing the same height box number is were placed by how many attempts it took them to clear earlier heights. ith your entry. The Rose Thorn • Classifieds & National • March 18, 1994 Page 7 Information & Policies Help Wanted For Rent Tickets he Rose Thorn offers classified advertisements less than 35 :ords free to Rose-Hulman students. Any student with a classified $750/wk. Alaska fisheries this summer. APARTMENT FOR RENT. $275/month Maritime Services. 1-208-860-0219. INDIANA PACERS vs. NEW f more than 35 words should contact the Thorn for more —utilities included. 3 minutes from Rose. Call 877-3699, leave message. YORK KNICKS. Market 'formation. Rose-Hulman faculty and staff wishing to place a $700/wk. canneries, $4500/mo. deck- hands. Alaska summer fisheries now :assified ad should also hir- ONE BEDROOM HOUSE FOR Square Arena. Friday, March contact the Thorn for further details. Any ing. Employment Alaska 1-206-323- RENT. 4 miles front campus. $300/ 2672. 25, 1994, 7:30 p.m. Game is )cal, non-Rose-Hulman individual wishing to place a classified month, $200 deposit. Furnished or not: will be charged $0.20 per word. all utilities except electric included. Sold Out. I have 200 tickets in Call Laura at 877-9269 after 5. the lower level to sell as a or paying customers, the Thorn is responsible for only the cost of fundraiser for the Terre Haute le first incorrect insertion of an ad. It is the responsibility of the South Tennis team. These ,dvertiser to check the correctness of each insertion. The Thorn tickets are normally $26.00 plus ill also reprint any incorrect submissions from student ads in the UMC Earn Money shipping and handling. Since showing week's edition only if the student notifies the Thorn. Everyone's going bowling Saturday. GREEKS & CLUBS. Earn $50-$250 for these were sold to us March 26. yourself plus up to $500 for your club! lassified ads can be run for one to five consecutive weeks. Please Meet at the United Ministries specifically as a fundraising Center, 321 N. 7th St., at 12:30 p.m. This fund-raiser costs nothing and lasts -;1 adicate on your submissions how long you wish to advertise. one week. Call now and receive a free gift. Group discounts! Shoes free! Call 232- purchase we are asking $35.00 1-800-932-0528. 0186 by March 25 to register. per ticket. he Thorn reserves the right to refuse advertising which the ditors judge to be discriminatory on the basis of race, religion or See Dan Hopkins for tickets, or xial orientation or that promotes violence, illegal activities or is call 238-9657. bad taste. Wanted ubmissions may be made at the Thorn office (room C216), or Found trough Thorn Box 170. TANGERINE DREAM 12" or 7" For Sale record of "Streethawk" theme (LeParc he deadline for submissions is 5 p.m. the Monday prior to GOLD TIE BAR WITH CHAIN, Jan. 20. - L.A.) or Art of Noise 12" or 7" 1994 in Olin Hall. Contact Peter Morzinski, "Moments in Love." Call Erich at FOR SALE. Girl Scout cookies. $2.50 per ublication. Any necessary payment must be made in advance. Box 806. Phone 234-6026. x8743. Price is negotiable. box. Dr. Ditteon, CL-108. Group seeks the restoration of the American family Don E. Eberly is sitting at think policy tools are weak and me. policy. Wayne type of remote, inaccessi- Teakfast and explaining his loss getting weaker. "If you look at the correlation Eberly's mind is capable of ble father, but they don't want to -mothers, f faith in "pro-family policy." "Whatever else the debate is between the absence of fathers seeing both the "tangle of pathol- be androgynous male something new that's le is unshakably pro-family, of about, it must be primarily and and every single social problem, ogies" and the simple truths either. It's ourse, and he has launched a predominantly about shoring up it is dramatic, absolutely dra- about human beings. He under- developing." iew organization--The National and rebuilding the intact two- matic. The rise in welfare depen- stands that both the loss of inner- And Eberly wants to use his 'atherhood Initiative--whose parent family. Everything else is dency and the steep increase in city jobs and the increased reli- Lancaster-based National Father- iresumptuous goal is the restora- secondary." child poverty are explained by ance on welfare have undercut hood Initiative to help it develop. ion of the American family. And the best way to do that, the emergence of fatherless the role of fathers in their fami- What if his movement is success- His problem, he says, is with says Eberly, a former White households. lies. But he understands, too, that ful? What would be the result a the "superfluous father" syn- le notion that policy has very House aide now running his "But it is the intangible, decade hence? is creeping up the socio- tuch to do with it. fledgling organization out of drome "The vast majority of men economic scale to embrace "The political left and the Lancaster, Pa., is to undo the would realize how important people who have never been out ,olitical right are basically trying trend that has brought us--is WILLIAM they are in the lives of kids, how of work or on welfare. 3 suggest to the American peo- bringing us--what his colleague vulnerable the kids are, how RASPBERRY connects the two ,le that if we only get the right David Blankenhom describes as What unique and irreplaceable is their Washington Post groups is cultural, the growing .olicies under the Capitol dome- the "superfluous father." function as parent, that male Syndicated Columnist notion that fathers aren't all that that if you get the tax code right, "There's a very basic ques- parenting is vital--particularly important in the lives of their the social policies right, the wel- tion that people on the left and with regard to rearing and social- children. And they may be con- 'are policy right--then all this the right should be asking, and immaterial role of the father that izing adolescent boys. nected as well in their wish to -enewing power will gush into that is how a society as rich as interests me as much as just sim- "But the end result would not reverse that trend. At least Eberly he streets of America and the any in history, and which has going after child support pay- be measured in terms of how ply thinks so. 'may will be restored. been more generous with its or somehow getting many fathers are suddenly ful- ments "I think fathers in the '90s are "I'm suggesting that the pol- wealth than perhaps any in his- to own up to the fact that filled and are lathering. I would fathers more prepared to play an active, ey debate is peripheral to the tory, increasingly leads the world economic obli- measure the success of an effort they share in an nurturing role in the lives of their :ourse of American life, Amer-- in most categories social dys- welfare of their like this by how many kids' lives gation for the kids--and in sharing household families. I function. If the answer is more that is." we made better. That's the :an cities, American children, as important as responsibilities--than during pre- is by far the prosperity, explain that riddle to thing." hink the culture vious times. They don't want to the answer is more gov- And that, of course, is the ,nore dominant factor in shaping me. If John Yes, that's the thing. part that is beyond the reach of go back to the old ways, the Attitudes and behaviors, and I ernment, explain that riddle to FUNNYFt YoU 1910T! I 101-V YO0 t4or TO 0025e -n-tose ee6s soNY- sto UP!!

Olstnbuteci by Tribunes &Ionia Sienna. Entertainment • March 18, 1994 Page 8 The Rose Thorn •

0.si.twied by Tobune Metha Services Top Ten Pick-Up Lines to Avoid Wild Kingdom By Anthony Rubino, Jr. eh-heh) "--autthead 'Yeah,(eh-heh eh-hehm) words SUCK. --8eaos 10. You did a good job cleaning our dorm room. 'Words suck (eh-heh 9. Did you know Darth Vader had asthma as a child? d now, another real-life fairy tale 1 8. Want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head! 7. I rank in the 97th percentile on my analytical GRE scores. glie prettier than those nudie tiffs on NewsGrazer Ye/ft/vide 6. Dang! You're 5. I like your ass... may I wear it as a hat? Once upon a time, there lived a back. 4. Lift with your legs, not with your little gopher named Gertrude. One 3. If you could be any animal in the world, what kind of whale day she was digging deep in her would you be? burrow when she thought she 2. Have you ever seen a crisp $50 bill? heard the rumble ofthunder from :" I. Hi, my name's Ben, but you can call me Drothar. the surface."Uh oh," thought Gert, , Courtesy Skinner C-1 "I must go and see if it is mining, for I do not want my warm dry burrow to become moistened!" She LACIE CIF IFCCUS scurried through the tunnels, poked her head out the opening and gazed up toward the cloudless sky. '7. ,. •

k U'hohagain..."thoughtGert, as the real source ofthe rumbling—a powerful lawn mower—passed over the opening and hacked her protruding little head clean off.

Claw" ehildPenk,titories, 6 1,15, "Grandpa Goes Ga Ga" "Beavis and Butthead Meet Mother Teresa" and "Snow White and The Seven Rabid Monkeys"