The Connection

בס’’ד CHABAD OF BINGHAMTON הקשרHaKesher the connection

SPRING 2011 | PASSOVER 5771 A WORD FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRCTOR

DEAR FRIEND, o prophet has so captured the imagination of the Jewish people as has Elijah. His presence, even thousands of years after Nhis time, is ubiquitous in Jewish life. We sing about him after Havdallah on Saturday nights, we designate a chair for him at every circumcision, and each time we say Grace after Meals we ask G-d to send Elijah to us with good news, solace and salvation. And of course, Executive Director as we get ready for Passover, we look forward to fill- Rabbi Aaron Slonim ing that regal cup of Elijah and opening the door for Education Director the prophet when he comes to visit our Seder. Mrs. Rivkah Slonim Who is this prophet who looked evil in the eye in the form of Achab and Chabad Downtown and Education Rabbi Zalman & Rochel Chein Jezebel, who forced a dramatic showdown between the prophets of the Baal and the prophet of G-d, who brought an end to a multiyear drought Programming and Development by dint of his prayers, who led the Jews with fire, brimstone and with love? Rabbi Levi & Hadasa Slonim Who is this man born of a woman who alighted to heaven without leaving President his body on earth and keeps returning, in various guises, to help us in times of need and dis- Mr. Barry Newman tress? Who is this persona who transcends time and space; who takes us back in time just as he Vice President moves us forward? And what is his connection to Passover? Mr. Michael Wright Elijah is the designated messenger of hope, salvation and deliverance. He is the harbinger of Women’s League Chairperson the Messianic era and the eternal light in our times of national darkness. And on Passover, the Mrs. Paula Rubin festival of liberation, he comes with a specific type of healing: Board Members “Behold,” says G-d through the prophet Malachi, “I will send you Elijah the prophet before Mr. Richard Frankel the coming of the great and awesome day of Hashem. And he will turn back [to G-d] the hearts Mr. Charles Gilinsky Mr. Alfred Lavker of the fathers with (and through) their sons, and the hearts of the sons with their fathers” Mr. Alan Piaker (Mal.3:24). Solomon Polachek Ph.D. We live in a world beset by an aching gap that separates parents from children. So often, par- Liz Rosenberg Ph.D. ents and children lead lives fueled by divergent values and aspirations; even when living to- Dr. Charles Rubin Mr. Brian Savitch gether they seem to inhabit parallel universes. Too often we bemoan the youth of today and Mrs. Susan Walker decry their inability to be like “we once were…” But when we open the door to Elijah we allow Founding Board Members into our lives an energy of reconciliation and unity. Specifically, we open the door to the pre- Mr. Abe L. Piaker OBM Messianic dynamic of children taking the lead and returning the hearts of their parents to G-d. Prof. Philip M. Piaker OBM Many have noted that the Passover Seder is child oriented. This time honored ceremonial din- Dr. Barrett J. Raff OBM ner is not only, as conventionally taught, about teaching our children about the past. It is even Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life more profoundly about Elijah’s gift: allowing our children to lead us forward. It is about our at Binghamton University approaching the future together. 420 Murray Hill Rd • Vestal, NY 13850 607-797-0015 So children, don’t be afraid to share your thoughts with your parents. Parents, don’t be afraid [email protected] to listen attentively to your children. And all of us must remember that we will be brought back www.JewishBU.com to the future by listening to the child within. With best wishes for a Kosher and sweet Pesach, and with fervent wishes that this be the last year in which we exclaim next year in Jerusalem, N’hiye B’kesher, let’s stay connected and be in touch!

Issue #5 Rabbi Aaron Slonim Published by Rabbi Aaron Slonim

CHABAD OF BINGHAMTON

Contact us at [email protected] ? For information about dedication opportunities please visit www.JewishBU.com/Hakesher ? Editor Rivkah Slonim Staff Writer Alan Zeitlin JEWISH LIVING TODAY ALUMNI SPOTLIGHT Proofreading Devora Leah Popack, Matzah after Midnight Marlene Serkin, 3 Based on the teachings of the Rebbe 12 Cleaning with Purpose 20 Shira Richman Chaya M. Slonim STUDENT SPOTLIGHT FACULTY SPOTLIGHT 21 ALL IN THE FAMILY Design & Printing The Printhouse 5 Remembering Asher 14 Arieh Ullmann Alumni News Photo Credits: J. Forrest, P. Garret, N. Palermo INSPIRATIONAL VOICES PHOTO GALLERY ON MY MIND 23 About our cover 8 A Spiritual Moment 15 Chabad in Action Alyx Rimberg : Danny Lazarus celebrates his Bar Mitzvah at Chabad. See page 15 for additional photos. SPECIAL If You’re Not CONTENTS FEATURES: 919Doing Exodus... Moses Returns Based on the teachings of the TORAH FOR TODAY Lubavitcher Rebbe of righteous memory

Matzah After Midnight

By Yanki Tauber

Matzah is the most basic icon of the festival of Passover. The biblical name for Passover is “The Festival of Matzahs.” For eight days, this flat, “unleavened bread” displaces all leavened forms of the staff of life. And on Passover eve, the three seder matzahs, enthroned on their special plate at the head of the table, take center stage in the seder rituals. But there’s no small amount of confu- sion surrounding the significance of the matzah. The sages of the Talmud and the Kabbalah give it different — even con- flicting — names: “The Bread of Afflic- tion,” “The Bread of Poverty,” “The Bread hen you were a child, you were blessed with faith. of Humility,” “The Bread of Instruction,” The world was good, people were good, and being “The Bread of Faith,” “The Bread of good yourself was simply a matter of following the Healing.” W And then there’s the matter of timing: dos and don'ts of life which G-d had told your Mom and Dad. Just when was the matzah born? At the Then you grew up, met some of the stage in which you discover that your beginning of the seder we announce, bad guys, and found that following the spouse really is the greatest, most won- “This is the bread of affliction which our derful person in the universe. A stage in rules doesn't always pan out the way you forefathers ate in the land of Egypt...” But imagined it would. Morality muddled which you discover that the world is later in the evening, we recite: “This into an amalgam of maybes, ifs and usu- good, that people are good, that the G -d- matzah that we eat, for what reason [do allys. Faith alone wasn’t enough any- given dos and don’ts are the formula for we eat it]? Because the dough of our fa- more: you also needed intellect, a meaningful life. No, it's not as simple thers did not have time to become leav- sensitivity, feeling, will and desire to nav- and straightforward as your youthful ened before the King of kings, the Holy igate this thing called life. faith saw it. But this mature, complex, One, blessed be He, revealed Himself to When you first married, you were thoughtful, willed and inspired faith has them and redeemed them.” blessed with faith. Your husband/wife something that youthful faith didn’t was the most good-hearted, intelligent, have: it has a density, a texture, a taste. A Thus we have pre-Exodus matzah and richness. beautiful, talented, caring and loving post-Exodus matzah. Or, as they’re re- You’ve returned to that original faith, person in the universe. Your love for ferred to in the teachings of Chassidism, that same faith which shone so bright each other would get you through any- pre-midnight matzah and post-midnight and hard because it wasn’t saddled with thing. Then your marriage aged, acquir- matzah. knowledge and experience. Now, how- ing wrinkles, an irregular heartbeat and For matzah, the bread of faith, has two ever, your faith co-exists with — indeed bouts of dementia. Love alone just was- faces. It is the faith of “poverty” which feeds upon — your knowledge and ex- thrives in pristine souls free of the tan- n't enough anymore: you also needed in- perience. The roots of your faith reach gles of intellect and the burdens of expe- tellect, sensitivity, feeling, will and desire deeper than them, its crown towers to maintain the relationship. higher than them, but it also leans rience. And then, when it emerges from You begin in faith, and move on to ex- against them and is fortified by them. the other side of the night, it is a faith en- perience. But there is also a third stage: a ______riched by the very elements that stifled it stage in which the faith reemerges. A in its years of exile. Reprinted with permission from Chabad.org PASSOVER 2011 | 3

IN TRIBUTE STUDENT SPOTLIGHT Asher Strobel, of blessed memory TRAGIC LOSS OF STUDENT WHO PUT OTHERS FIRST By Alan Zeitlin

e loved to play basketball but didn’t down the hallway with or anywhere with,” Sussman said. “He would talk to random people he’d never met before and need to have the ball in his hands they’d love him.” to make an impact. He enjoyed so- He said the two enjoyed hanging out and playing basket- H ball. He would be the shooting guard, while Strobel was the cializing at parties but didn’t have to be the power forward, known for a trademark move. He apologized center of attention. He worked out in the even if he didn’t make a mistake. If another player messed up, he’d tell them it wasn’t their fault, Sussman said. gym every day, but the greatest strength he Sussman remembers when he awoke to see his roommate had was the ability to make others feel em- waking up late at 8:25 a.m when he had a final exam in min- powered when they were around him. utes. Instead of darting to the test, Strobel calmly put on his morning tefillin. That’s how friends and family described Asher Strobel, a “Most people would be flying out the door, but he was calm,” 21-year-old Binghamton University Sussman said. “He said, ‘it’s ok, so I’ll be 10 minutes late.’” He student who died tragically in Jan- also admired Strobel’s work ethic, uary after an aortic rupture follow- when it came to studying or his daily ing an aneurysm while in his room trips to the gym. at a ski retreat in Wyoming. Junior Strobel made visits to the New Hillel Sussman was his roommate York Giants’ summer camp in Al- at Newing’s Bingham Hall for more bany. Always thinking of sharing than a year. Sussman said he could joy with others, he called his father not have asked for a better room- and gave the phone to center Shaun mate. O’Hara. “He was the perfect guy to walk Dr. Ron Strobel said he did not know who he was speaking to at first when his son put the football player on the phone. He added that his son called in disbelief after going to the Giants game and seeing his team blow a 21-point lead and lose to the rival Eagles 38-31 on a last second punt-return for a touchdown. “I taught him a little about sports but I can’t take credit for his athletic ability,” Dr. Strobel said. “His humor, he got from his mother. Asher was a great son but what I am most proud of was that he was a terrific older brother. He really made his brothers feel special.” Eli Sitzner attended The Frisch School in Paramus, New Jersey with Strobel. The junior at Yeshiva University said Strobel was known for his humor. C. Peter Magrath, BU interim president, Upinder Dhillon, Dean of SOM, Brian Rose, VP for Student Affairs, and Chabad staff joined hundreds of students in paying tribute to Asher — CONTINUED ON PAGE 22 Strobel at a Memorial held at the Chabad Center. Asher's parents, siblings and extended family traveled to Binghamton to attend the Memorial. 5 | PASSOVER 2011 | 5 PASSOVER 5771 NISSAN 15-22 APRIL 19-26, 2011

The Existential Exodus By Tzvi Freeman

6 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE Egypt and Pharaoh You can grow out of selfishness, traced to this underlying pathology. are facts of life. greed, impulsiveness. You can over- Everything we do is a gambit to es- To be human come any vice. But ego is not a vice. It cape this slavery. One who surrenders is you. It was there when you began has surrendered to death. One who is to be enslaved. and it is the basis of everything you do. escapes, even for a day, has tasted o be enslaved you must be You can hide it enough so it does not true life. human. A computer is not a embarrass you in public. You can ow do I escape the bondage of T pretty it up so that other ‘I’s are not as my I if my I is me? Not with love, slave. Animals are not slaves. H Human beings can be slaves because annoyed with it. You can choose to ig- because then there is still I that a human is a master. A human is es- nore its whelps and howls when your loves. Not in meditation, because there sentially free. So free, that for the mind tells you that it has just gotten is I meditating. Not with any striving for human being to exist is to be impris- out of hand. enlightenment, because in every striv- oned. But it will always be there, as the ing there is I again, searching for that The housecat does not feel impris- earth upon which you tread, as the air which will make me a greater, more en- oned in its apartment, but a tiger does. you breath, as the darkness that lurks in lightened I. The animal does not feel imprisoned in the background, waiting for the sun to But only by exchanging this bondage its body, but the human soul does. For set, to say, “I never really left. Even as for a greater one. The ultimate some human souls, the entire universe the sun shone bright, I was still there. I bondage. is a prison. Why? Because, somehow, am the default. I am the ground of all The I has a jealously guarded secret, the human soul knows something be- that exists. I am.” wrote the Maharal of Prague. It is that yond. Something entirely free. That his is how the master of the Kab- the I is no more than G-d breathing which is simple reality for other crea- Tbalah, the Ari, describes the en- within me. tures, for the human being is a prison. slavement of Egypt: It is when the Why does G-d wish to breathe Because the experience of every mind cannot speak with the heart. within me? Because G-d desires com- human being is an excruciating para- Every part of the world corresponds munion with a being that is also an I. dox. We are born with an innate sense to a facet of the human soul. Every That is why I am an I: Not because of I. More than any creature upon the facet of the human soul corresponds to that is the truth, not because it cannot earth, we feel “I am. Nothing else is but a feature of the human anatomy. be otherwise—but because G-d so me. All else is no more than an exten- Where is Egypt? It is the neck, that desires. That is the drama of the uni- sion of my being.” most awkward place of the human verse, played and replayed within We are all little pharaohs, as the form where a massive head must con- each of its creatures, the drama of I prophet Ezekiel described him, “The nect through an agile limb to the rest and Other drawn towards each other big fish in the river declaring, ‘The of the body. The channel through while remaining separate beings. At river is mine. I created it. I created my which air, food, blood, data, and com- the core of the universe lies the para- own self.’” mands all must pass from one world to digm of it all: The love affair of G-d And yet we have a mind, a sense of another. Egypt in Hebrew is Mitzrayim, and the human I. awareness not only of our surroundings, meaning literally, “the straits.” The separateness of these two be- but also of the I that exists within those And Pharaoh? His Hebrew letters are ings is a prison. Their communion is surroundings. And that mind tells us the same as the Hebrew word Oref, freedom. And how is their communion? that our innate experience is absurd. “the back of the neck.” Pharaoh, as Through a betrothal of my I to that It is absurd to believe that I am in the Ari described him, stands at the original I. As we did when we bound control. I did not make this place. I back of the neck and strangles us. He ourselves to Him through His Torah, have no clue what is going on over hijacks all that is in the mind for him- saying, “We will do.” here. There is a whole world out there self, not allowing more than a trickle to And so G-d told Moses, “When you that seems perfectly capable of going enter the body. will take the people out of Egypt, you on quite well without me. There are And so, we are enslaved: Our mind will serve Me on this mountain.” Be- others out there, each of whom is an knows a higher truth, an obvious one, cause there is only one path to leave entire world, an I unto his or her self. to which our heart pays no more than Egypt. Not by being this or striving for My I is absurd. lip service. The mind struggles to soar that, but by bondage to an Infinite I, a And yet, from the time I opened my from its cage in futility, its wings bondage that knows no bounds. eyes and stood upon my feet, I could clipped by the self-centered passions not fathom any other I but me, or any of the body and heart. For a step-by-step Seder Guide and extensive of this world existing without my “I”. Every human struggle, every illness, information about the Passover holiday including It is not something you grow out of. physical and psychological, can be the Sale of Chometz form and calendar times, log onto www.JewishBU.com/Passover

PASSOVER 2011 | 7 INSPIRATIONAL VOICES

April 15, 2011, corresponding to the 11th day of Nissan, 5771 marks 109 years since the birth of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory. His leadership changed the landscape of modern world Jewry and inspired thousands of individuals—those who identify as Chassidism and many who do not—to dedicate their lives to the fulfillment of his vision: a world perfected and healed, a Jewish nation whole and at peace. Many remarked upon the Rebbe’s charismatic leadership and wondered about his powers to catapult others into action. To mark the Rebbe’s birthday we bring our readers the ruminations of one Chasid. A Spiritual Moment By Rabbi Manis Friedman t’s past midnight. I’m alone in a cemetery in Queens. I’m not liter- Ially alone; hundreds of people come and go all night. But I’m alone with my reflections, trying to compose my note to place on the Rebbe’s grave. I ask myself, “Why am I here?” Because I am a Chasid? But what is a Chasid? I know the familiar definitions: piety, kindness, religious fervor, disciple of a Rebbe, but I need something more this night. I need to get in touch with what makes a Chasid. A picture comes to mind. I’m 12 years old, living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, rooting for the Yan- kees to win the World Series, betting on center fielder number seven (Mickey Mantle) to make it happen. It’s Wednesday afternoon. I wander into 770 Eastern Parkway, home base for Chabad Cha- sidim. An energy draws me there. A small minyan is saying Mincha prayers. I see Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe. He has square shoulders and a large forehead. He wears a large brimmed hat and his broad shoulders stretch the cloth of his kapota. This much-revered leader of an international movement, a prodigious scholar and mystic, then bows. He was saying the Modim in the Amidah and he bowed. This picture haunts me all these years. He Chassidim pray at the Ohel, the Rebbe’s bowed with his head and shoulders only. It was resting place. The Rebbe’s grave is to the left of his father in law and predecessor, dignified, elegant, and something more. Unschooled in such Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneerson. matters, I naturally did not understand the significance of the act, but it moved me like an inside-the-park home run in the House that Ruth Built.

8 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE Later I realized that I was stunned by the Rebbe’s un- moving the world toward Divine perfection, and we abashed humility. Humility, I learned, is a great virtue— are asked to freely participate in making His will fa- a spiritual quality, not so much in those who have no miliar to His creation. The Rebbe, it now seems clear alternative but to be humble, but in those gifted, pow- to me, was bowing to G-d’s will, to the desire, the very erful people who bow their heads reverently to that urgency of G-d’s wants. which is greater than they. I had seen a bigger-than-life Five decades later, I think I understand that as a 12- hero, and discovered his awe of something to which he year-old I was awed by, but not comfortable with, the bowed his head. What humbles such a man? Rebbe’s humility; it disturbed me. We are intelligent I understood—no, I felt—what Almighty means, and beings who can make things happen. Why be intimi- G-d became real to me. A heady experience for a 12- dated by what is greater when you have your own year-old. These memories don’t satisfy me. The image greatness? What use are our human endowments if we continues to haunt me. One day while counseling a merely submit and surrender to the “Big All?” I real- very unhappy couple, I heard myself saying to the hus- ize now that the Rebbe was not bowing in submission band, “It’s not about you. It’s about the family.” to an ineffable Being. It was not surrender to fate or The ability to admit that my life is not about me, for me destiny, but rather an unconditional dedication to sat- that is true humility. Yes, we are humbled by the Grand isfy the divine hunger; not to be good or holy, but to do Canyon or the number one billion. But true humility is right by G-d’s vision of His world. We are His people more than an admission of smallness. It is the realization because we bow to His plan, not His power or size. His that reality exists independently of me; I cannot control plan, not ours. it by my will. I must live with it, submit to it. This I saw His desire, His plan, His need for tikkun olam be- in the Rebbe’s bow. From the communists and the Nazis comes our mission. This humility of purpose should

“We are humbled by the Grand Canyon or the number one billion. But true humility is more than an admission of smallness. It is the realization that reality exists independently of me; I cannot control it by my will.” to the new world, he never faltered. Because it is “not produce a Chasid who is obedient, not meek; affec- about me.” One does what must be done. tionate yet unsentimental; tolerant yet not permissive; I still am not satisfied. I see myself at age 16 speaking an advocate without being dogmatic; pious yet not of- to a group of teenagers about the importance of ficious; proud, not haughty; a pursuer of dreams yet Mitzvot. “They are not only good deeds; they are G-d’s not a dreamer; principled yet not judgmental; funny will.” I say the words but miss the significance. Mar- but not frivolous. tin, a 17-year-old asks, “When did G-d begin to want I still struggle, and it still smarts when I fall short of these Mitzvot?” Five decades later, I ponder Martin’s these virtues. But to fail is not an option. With this question. When did G-d begin to want? At Mount thought in mind I am ready to write my note to place Sinai? With Adam and Eve? When did He consider all on the Rebbe’s grave. that He had made and realize that some of it pleased ______Him and some did not? G-d wants. All creation began World-renowned author, counselor, lecturer and philosopher, Rabbi with His wanting a world that would please Him. His Manis Friedman is the dean of the Bais Chana Women International will is the oxygen of existence. It is eternal, ineluctably Institute.

PASSOVER 2011 | 9 Warmest wishes as you celebrate Passover

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)BSSZ-%SJWF +PIOTPO$JUZ /: 3FDJQFTBUXFHNBOTDPN Next Year in Jerusalem – Really! By Aron Moss

QUESTION: ANSWER: Here's one I always wanted to know. We You can be miles away from Jerusalem traditionally end the Passover Seder with even while living there. And you can be on the wish, "Next Year in Jerusalem!" What if the other side of the world but only a step you're living in Jerusalem? Do you say, away. Because Jerusalem is much more "This year in Jerusalem!", or just leave that than a city. It's an ideal that we are strug- line out? gling to reach.

The Jewish or to remain preoccupied with your own with us. But we have not gotten there story can be pressing needs and drive on. yet. Even if you are living in the city summed up as a long journey from Egypt If you do not allow them in, justifying called Jerusalem, as long as there re- to Jerusalem. Beyond being just geo- yourself by thinking of how late you are, mains suffering, injustice and unholi- graphical locations, they symbolize two then you're still in Egypt; your selfishness in the world, we haven't reached opposite spiritual states. The journey ness has overtaken your goodness. the Promised Land. As long as we re- from Egypt to Jerusalem is a spiritual If you overcome your concern for your main slaves to our own negative in- odyssey. Both as a nation and as indi- own needs and let them in, you have just stincts and selfish desires, we are still viduals, we have always been leaving left Egypt. You allowed your innate struggling to truly leave Egypt. the slavery of Egypt and heading to- goodness to prevail over your instinctive As we sit at the Seder, we note that wards the freedom of the Promised selfishness. You're out of Egypt, but another year has gone by, and we have Land. By analyzing the psychological you're not yet in Jerusalem. yet to complete the journey. But we are Egypt and the inner Jerusalem, we will In Jerusalem, you would automatically getting there. We are that much closer to see how this is a road that we are still want to let them in. Your important the Promised Land than we were last traveling. meeting would pale into insignificance in year. We have advanced a few more The Hebrew name for Egypt is comparison with an opportunity to do a steps in a march to freedom that has Mitzrayim, which means limitations, re- favour for another person. You wouldn't spanned generations. strictions, obstacles. It represents a state have to conquer your selfish nature; your Perhaps this year, our efforts to better in which our souls are trapped in our nature would itself be kind and selfless. ourselves and our world will bring the bodies, enslaved to material desires and There would be no need for a battle to fulfillment of the words of the Hag- tied down to physical limitations. It is a do good in the city of inner peace; it gadah: world in which righteousness, justice would come naturally. I don't know about This year we are here, next year we and holiness are held captive to corrup- you, but I am not there yet. will be in the Land of Israel. This year we tion, selfishness and egotism. The Jewish people were born in are slaves, next year we will be Jerusalem means "the city of peace"-- Egypt, in slavery. But they were told free. a place of peace between body and soul, that on the other side of a vast desert Next year in heaven and earth, the ideal and reality. lies their destiny, their Promised Land. Jerusalem... When our body becomes not a prison for As our forefathers walked out of Egypt- literally. the soul but rather a vehicle for the soul's -3317 years and some odd weeks ago- expression; when we live our lives ac- -they were taking the first steps of a cording to our ideals rather than our long journey to Jerusalem. Every gen- cravings; when the world values good- eration since has pushed fur- ness and generosity over selfish gain, ther forward along the then we are in Jerusalem, we are at road to Jerusalem. peace with ourselves and the world. The journey Imagine you are in your car, stuck in contin- heavy traffic. You are late for an impor- ues tant meeting, and you see someone struggling to enter your lane from a side street. You are faced with a choice: to be kind and let them in,

PASSOVER 2011 | 11 JEWISH LIVING TODAY

Cleaning with a purpose Sherri Mandell

ecently, a friend opened rather write. Or even better, lie on seas. Then, as my kids and I and my silverware drawer the couch and read a novel. my husband go about our and said: "I haven't seen I am prone to laziness and self ordinary routine, it's as if I'm Ra drawer that looks this indulgence, neither of them great watching the sky darken, hearing bad since college." weapons in the war against dirt. the first murmuring of thunder. "Listen," I said. "There's a reason." And space management is not my And when the inevitable storm of crumbs and dirt and chaos begins She gave me a skeptical look. strength either: in elementary school when I was tested for to descend, I feel the terror and "I am cleaning challenged," I said. spatial relations, I scored in the disappointment of a pilot "It's a disability, especially when 8th percentile. All in all, I fail watching her ship smash onto an you've got 4 kids and a messy domestic engineering. unforgiving shore. husband." When I have a cleaning lady, I And yet, despite the difficulty of It's not that I don't like order. I just look to her as a god. keeping a clean home, I think it's have a hard time creating it. I'm important to clean for Passover On those rare days when I do not the kind of mother or with my husband and my kids. clean, and the house is for a housewife who spends her time Not that I wouldn't rather go on a moment perched on the edge of ordering and cleaning. I'd Passover cruise, mind you, and order, it's like I'm on a ship sailing forget about the whole thing. But on tranquil Caribbean Passover allows me to dwell in the nexus between order and chaos, central themes in my life.

“Passover cleaning comes to clean us out from the inside and teach us: we are not in charge.”

12 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE Think of it. Passover is the with chaos, of keeping holiday of freedom. Passover the beasts at bay. Look commemorates the most what happened in Four dramatic moments of the Jewish Letters of Love, a people. Imagine yourself, for a wonderful novel set in moment, a Jew in Egypt. You are Ireland. When Nicholas's told to mark your door lintels with father runs off to paint, blood so that G-d will know not to his mother, in fear of kill your first born. You leave how the family will Egypt in the middle of the night survive without money, cleans: our cleaning. In fact: we clean and and walk for 7 days until you "Then the house was set, poised clean and then comes the holiday come to the Red Sea. Then when for a moment on that precipice of of matzah which is one of the you think it's over for you, with perfect cleanliness, and my messiest things you can eat: one the Egyptian chariots bearing mother would be almost happy – bite and those crumbs are all over. down and no place to run but into standing there in the fragile The freedom of Passover is in the sea, the waters part and you instant of stillness before the next recognizing that G-d is in control, walk on through. particle of dust arose and softly right here in our homes, in our And what do we do to prepare for fell." To combat her sadness and cleaning and our cooking and in the holiday that marks this impending madness, she cleans. our sitting around the table awesome event? And then she kills herself. discussing an event that We clean. Cleaning is a paradox. It contains happened thousands of years ago. within itself the seeds of its own Passover comes to redefine The beauty of Passover is that destruction. But cleaning for cleaning. Our work is so we can reach G-d by dwelling in Passover can be an exercise in mundane: scrubbing, dusting, the domestic details, in the spiritual growth. Passover sweeping. We work, burdened everyday ordinary world around cleaning comes to clean us out with an incredible amount of self us. For a short time each year, from the inside and teach us: we inflicted labor, as stressful as cleaning holds a place of honor; it are not in charge. During that moving house or painting all the becomes a means of spiritual moment right before Passover, rooms. Jewish law tells us to growth. It reminds us that even we perch on the achievement of remove all bread and crumbs from something as insignificant as a order for a short while, search for our midst. Passover comes to tell crumb can be infused with all of the crumbs in our home us that no matter how high we holiness. with a candle and make a have risen in this world, we have So this Seder night I'm going to blessing. For this moment I've to bend to clean. In bowing, we invite my friend over to inspect gotten rid of all of the dirt. I've begin to acknowledge our my silverware drawers and when imposed order on the world. humility. Like the Jews of Egypt, she exclaims how clean and who when the chips were down, But we are not the ones who orderly they appear I'll smile and had to be saved through Divine create order in this world. G-d is say: "It just goes to show you intervention, when all is said and the ultimate cleaner, the one who there is a G-d in this world." gives and takes away. He returns done, we are dependent on Sherri Mandell is the author of The Blessing others and dependent on G-d. you to dust and lets the dust of a Broken Heart (Toby Press 2003) and co- return to earth. He sends down president of The Koby Mandell Foundation. Cleaning itself is not the point. the rain to clean, the wind to Cleaning itself can be a futile For a step-by-step Seder Guide and extensive blow the dirt away. exercise in control, an information about the Passover holiday including unsuccessful means of dealing So we are ultimately humbled in the Sale of Chometz form and calendar times, log onto www.JewishBU.com/Passover

PASSOVER 2011 | 13 FACULTY SPOTLIGHT

Professor Arieh Ullmann PROF SAYS LIFE SHOULDN’T BE ALL BUSINESS Alan Zeitlin

s bluffing the same thing as lying? What mental environment,” he added. Ullmann is the president of the Jewish Federation of if you are in intense negotiations and Broome County and a past president of Beth David Syna- Imillions of dollars are at stake? What if gogue. Ullmann said the major challenge facing Broome the investor might walk away from the deal? County is the aging Jewish community and the loss of man- Do you say that you have other investors ufacturing jobs which once served as an attraction to the area. Ullmann, who grew up in Zurich, came to Binghamton waiting to get in on the action, even though after working as a research fellow at The Science Center of you really don’t? Is this ethical? These are Berlin in Germany. some of the questions Arieh Ullmann poses The professor says he tells his students the difference be- to students at Binghamton University. tween himself and Wal-Mart. Unlike the store, he doesn’t The professor, who came to the School of Man- do business 24/7 ; he often receives e - agement in 1981, says that it is important to mails at 2a.m. but he is usually asleep at work hard but it is also important to that time. In his spare time, he reads maintain the proper perspective. Neue Zurcher Zeitung online “I tell my students to have fun,” and says that while he he said. “When I ask a student isn’t a whiz of pop culture, what they did over the winter he is always abreast of cur- break and they say they veg- rent events. He added ged out, that’s great. that the economic impact Some students rob them- of transforming governments selves of their youth and in the Middle East may think they have it all planned come up in class. And he out. They are only about work, encourages debate, work, work. Their aim is to spend whether it is about con- every second of their lives to launch a tract negotiations or whether company sell it and have a net worth of a hamantashen are better than latkes. million dollars by the time they’re 25. By 40, Ullmann said he laughs at the surprised they will have a midlife crisis.” look on the faces of some of his Jewish students The associate editor of Case Research Journal who mention that they are planning on going to Israel in also says he tells his students there is no need to be cut- the summer and hear his offer. throat, like Donald Trump on “The Apprentice.” “I tell students to let me know if they need a place to “If every CEO was like that, nobody would work,” he said. crash,” he says, referring to his apartment in Haifa. “So far, But what does work is people that are passionate and care nobody has taken me up on the offer yet. about what they are doing. And he insists, he’s not bluffing. Ullmann said he is impressed with the passion of the staff Alan Zeitlin '00 teaches English and Journalism at a Brooklyn public at Chabad and added that it is a pleasure to visit. high school. As a freelance writer for the past 10 years, his articles “Chabad provides a warm and soulful experience for stu- have appeared in The Jewish Week, The Journal News and other dents of all backgrounds. It is an inclusive and non-judg- publications.

14 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE CHABAD IN ACTION

BAR/BAT MITZVAH BASH 2011 Amidst great joy and emotion, four BU students celebrated their coming of age Jewishly.

If you have not yet celebrated your Bar or Bat Mitzvah and AZE would like to celebrate in 2011-2012 with a meaningful M L experience at Chabad please be in touch with Rabbi Levi at [email protected] TOV! FASHION FOR A CURE

Chabad, Alpha Phi and SDT team up to raise money for SHARSHERET (breast cancer support & services) and enjoy a fun and educational day.

For a full gallery of pictures of these events and others please visit: www.JewishBU.com 15 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE PASSOVER 2011 | 15 CHABAD IN ACTION COMING HOME TO ISRAEL

Fortunate BU students aboard Mayanot Birthright # 217 enjoyed 10 unforgettable days of touring, bonding, inspiration, fun & connecting to the Jewish homeland during the Winter Break. A record number of BU students will be ﬁlling Mayanot buses this Summer to enjoy their turn.

GIRLS NIGHT OUT Mamamia, Pizzeria, A Slam Dunk Hit!

For a full gallery of pictures of these events and others please visit: www.JewishBU.com 16 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE CHABAD IN ACTION

CHABAD IS ALIVE CHABAD with the sounds of Torah... TAKES TO THE SLOPES

The ANNUAL SKI TRIP was 8 JLearn choices, Beit Midrash, enjoyed by one Advanced and all. Talmud, Pizza and Parasha and Analysis of Rashi are just a few WELCOME BACK TO of the choices! CHABAD DOWNTOWN

with SUSHI, SOUP and more!

Binghamton is now on the map CAFE with a student run Kosher Deli. Miss the Metropolis NIGHT experience at your own peril! The deli is open AT CHABAD Tuesdays 5:30-7:30pm at Chabad

The Ambiance, the Pastries, the Music... IT WAS SPRING IN PARIS ON MURRAY HILL ROAD

PASSOVER 2011 | 17 CHABAD IN ACTION

THE GREAT DEBATE To celebrate "the small Purim" held during the ﬁrst month of Adar in this leap year, the Oy Gevald Think Tank, a division of the Chabad Center, sponsored a debate on Latkes vs. Hamantashen that provided participants with a delicious evening of humor and satire.

Professors David Bosnick and Arieh Ullmann debated while Professor Dora Polachek moderated.

CAN'T TOUCH THIS BU students were treated to a pre-screening of the soon to be released documentary ﬁlm on the topic of "shomer negia." A spirited feed-back session with producers Tali Miller and Yocheved Sidoff followed the screening.

MARKING ASHER STROBEL’S SHLOSHIM

For a full gallery of pictures of these events and others please visit: www.JewishBU.com 18 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE here once was a public debate in Ottawa, Canada between the Israeli ambassador to Canada, the late Rabbi Dr. Yaakov Herzog, and the famous historian Professor Arnold Toynbee. Dr. Toynbee Tinsisted that Israel is not truly a nation, and does not deserve a state. The Jews, he claimed, are a religious sect with a mission to guide mankind in monotheism, morals and ethics in the Diaspora, but are not a nation. Permit me to use an imaginary voyage to develop a point made by Dr. Herzog.

An Olympic aircraft lands "No. France is Chirac. at Athens airport, and a Rome is Parodi. Yesterday customs official asks an Berlusconi." elderly passenger the "What countries do we purpose of his visit. MOSES control? Abyssinia? Angola?" “I'm Socrates, and I've "None. Italy is a NATO come back to see my home state." town.” “What are we number one The excited official tries RETURNS in?" to converse with him; they "Car production, maybe." both speak Greek but have no common language, so "Car?" they call a translator. By Rabbi Yisroel Meir Lau "Cars are robotic chariots Socrates asks, "Can I see Former Chief Rabbi of Israel without horses." the Acropolis?" "Sorry, it's in ruins." At Ben Gurion airport, a "The Temple of Zeus?" customs officer welcomes an elderly man with a white beard: "Shalom Aleichem!" "There's no Temple of Zeus here. We have a Greek Orthodox Church, but it's Christian. We have no Neptune, no Mars, no The man answers," Aleichem Shalom. My name is Moshe." Aphrodite, no Helen. Only Christianity." "Really? I'm also Moshe! I was born in Tbilisi, Georgia." "How many countries are under Greece?" "And I was born in Egypt." "None. Greece is a small country in NATO." "Did you visit Israel before?" "What do we excel in? The Marathon? The Olympics? "Unfortunately never." Philosophy?" "So it's not your homeland." "Sorry, Sir, none of the above. The only thing we have in "This is my homeland. I personally know of the Divine common with the Greece of Aristotle or Plato is geography." promise. Are you Jewish?" "Of course I'm Jewish. Ani Mosheke m'Gruzia." An Alitalia flight stops at the Fiumicino airport near Rome, and "I'd like to sightsee, but I didn't take along tefillin. Do you an old fellow deplanes. A customs official approaches him." Your perhaps know where I can get tefillin?" name, please?" "Tefillin? I'll give you mine." "Julius Caesar. Veni, vidi vici." "You have tefillin?" "May I help you?" "Of course I have tefillin. I davened Shacharis an hour ago." Caesar doesn't understand the question. Latin and today's "You also have a tallis with tzitzis?" Italian are not the same. "Of course!" "Will you please take me to the Temple of Jupiter?" "Do you have a quiet place for me to pray?" "Who is Jupiter? We have the Vatican here." "Sure! We have shuls here in the terminal. Sefard and "What is a Vatican?" Ashkenaz." "It's a church. Catholic. This Pope's from Germany. His "And what Nusach is your Torah scroll?" predecessor was from Poland. Not Italian. No Jupiter." "Nusach???!!! We all have the same Torah, each word carefully "What's on in the Colosseum today?" transcribed back to Moshe Rabenu!" "Sorry, it's in ruins." Same religion. Same language. Same homeland. Same "Gallia still belongs to Roma?" commandments. Same faith. If this is not a nation, what is?

PASSOVER 2011 | 19 ALUMNI SPOTLIGHT

Shira Verbit Richman ‘93 A SPECIALIST IN BREAKING THE ICE By Alan Zeitlin

hira Richman had dreams of being a Slonim, he asked how my back was. To this day, I have no idea professional ice skater. After making how he found out but it shows that even after you graduate, five-egg omelettes and washing down they don’t stop caring.” S Richman, a reading specialist who also taught Hebrew at the servers for her kosher kitchen shift, Ramaz, said a common misconception is that children with she’d get friends to go skating with her. autism are incapable of modifying their behavior or are not While she didn’t become the next Nancy able to improve their capacity to perform certain tasks. Kerrigan, and couldn’t perfect the triple “No two children are exactly alike but most can make im- axel jump, she has made a career helping provements. It is important to be informed of different meth- children who sometimes feel ods that can be useful,” she explained. Richman also wrote “Encouraging Im- they are on thin ice. portant Behavior for Children on the Richman is the author of “Raising A Autism Spectrum: Frequently Asked Ques- Child With Autism: A Guide To Applied Be- tions.” She said one of the most common havior Analysis For Parents.” The book questions she gets is whether or not to has been translated into five languages in- punish children for negative behavior. cluding Czech and Japanese. After getting “While parents think it might be help- a master’s degree in Psychology from ful to punish their children, positive rein- New York University, the behavior ther- forcement for good behavior is more apy consultant said that in her work with effective,” he said. children on the autistic spectrum, she re- She added that Applied Behavior Analy- alized there was a need to help educate sis is useful because actual behavior is families. She drew upon her field experi- graphed and measured where changes can ence for her book. be seen as real data instead of conjecture. “There was really a need for a book that One of every 54 boys has autism, said addressed the need of parents; to give Richman. Aside from her work for public them tools to help in daily life,” said Richman, who did her first schools in Long Island, she also does private consultations and work with children with autism while at Queens College for makes home visits. graduate school. “A little support can make a big difference for She said the biggest challenge for students with autism is both the child and the parent.” effectively communicating. For those higher functioning stu- Richman now has three children of her own after meeting dents on the autism spectrum, their body language may be off her husband on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. But she and they might not know when to end a conversation. She said remembers her Binghamton days well, including Chanie her heart is warmed by helping parents of these children learn Slonim’s sixth birthday party which she helped run. Richman, how to deal with challenges. who graduated in 1993, remembers that on Friday nights, “It means a lot when you see a parent take joy in seeing how Chabad drew 100 students. a child can achieve things they thought they never could be- “If you look at the picture of my graduating year, there’s fore,” she said. maybe 20 people,” she said. “They’ve come a long way since then but some things stay the same.” Alan Zeitlin '00 teaches English and Journalism at a Brooklyn public high school. As a freelance writer for the past 10 years, his articles “ I was in a car accident and I hurt my back and I never told have appeared in The Jewish Week, The Journal News and other them about it,” Richman said. “The next time I saw Rabbi publications.

20 | HAKESHER MAGAZINE MAZEL TOVS ‘96 Gary and Janie Zeitlin announce the birth of their daughter, Ella Sophie, and Abie is a consultant for Ernst and Young. They will make their home Mindel Susel, on December 13, 2010. in New York. Michelle and Brian Major announce the birth of their daughter, Orly Rebecca Levitan and Andrew Lillian announce their engagement; a Zahava on 3 Tevet, 5771. She was welcomed home by big siblings Tzivia, Summer 2011 wedding is planned. Rebecca is the Librarian for the Chavi, Aron, and Mordechai. Center for Jewish Education (CJE) in Baltimore and Andrew is a MAT Binny and Beth Taksel announce the birth of their son, Uri Yehuda, graduate student at Goucher College. They will make their home in Jonathan Henry, on March 4, 2011. He was welcomed home by big Baltimore, MD. brother Jack Abraham. Melanie Rub announces her engagement to Eric Himy; a May 23, 2011 wedding is planned. They will make their home in Brooklyn, NY. ‘97 Ari and Michelle Lifschitz announce the birth of their son, Ethan Harrison, Eitan Asar Henech, on January 11, 2011, Shevat 7, 5771. He ‘09 Abie Mizrahi and Danielle Skurnick announce their engagement; see was welcomed home by big sisters Tzipora and Daniella. above (’08) for details. Avi and Eleana Jorisch announce the birth of their son, Eiden, on ‘10 Andrew Lillian and Rebecca Levitan announce their engagement; see February 1, 2011. above (’08) for details. ‘00 Jon and Michele Gross announce the birth of their daughter Emily Sophia, Tziporah, on January 15, 2011. ‘01 Michele and Jon Gross announce the birth of their daughter Emily Sophia, Tziporah, on January 15, 2011. CONDOLENCES Chabad mourns the deaths of ‘03 Lisa (Antzelevitch) and Evan Einstein announce the birth of their Allen Lederman daughter, Sophie Lilly, Chava, on June 18, 2010 corresponding to Tamuz , father of Lori Lederman Ben-Ezra ’87, on November 24, 6, 5770. 2010. Michael and Jessica Chorzewski announce the birth of their daughter, Albert Levine Lily Faith, Penina Lilach, February 3, 2011. , father of David Levine ‘87, on December 20, 2010. ‘04 Jessica (Gold) and Michael Chorzewski announce the birth of their Bruce Greenfield, daughter. See (‘03) for details. father of Danit Greenfield Taub ’04, on December 12, 2010. ‘06 Leila (Nehmad) and Elliot Safdie announce the birth of their son, Edward Elliot, Ezra Eliyahu, on November 22, 2010. May the family be comforted among the Ariel ( Aric) Joudai announces his marriage to Dana Dachbash on mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. January 24, 2011. Kevin Kashani announces his engagement to Alissa Estreicher; an August 11, 2011 wedding is planned. Alissa is a Store manager for American Eagle Outfitters in Union Square, NY; Kevin owns FAME New York, a women’s clothing boutique in Soho. They will make their home in NYC. Daniel Benamy and Leat Mechlovitz announce their engagement; a June 26, 2011 wedding is planned. Daniel is currently doing contract work for WNYC (radio station) and doing freelance projects in the field of computer sience; Leat is in her third year of medical school at • Downstate University Medical Center. They plan to make their home in HaSofer rpuxv New York. Sifrei Torah • Tefillin • Mezuzahs • Megillahs ‘07 Leor Wolf and Arielle Harary announce their engagement; a December • 2011 wedding is planned. Leor works at Goldman and Sachs and Arielle Check STAM Talleisim Tallis/Tefillin Bags works in online advertising at AOL. They will make their home in NYC. Silver Tzitzis • Embroidery Judaica ‘08 Leat Mechlovitz and Daniel Benamy announce their engagement; see above (’06) for complete details. 321 Kingston Avenue Arielle Harary and Leor Wolf announce their engagement; see above (’07) for complete details. 718-221-2222 Danielle Skurnick and Abie Mizrahi announce their engagement; a September 1, 2011 wedding is planned. Danielle is a clinical social www.esofer.com worker working for the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services vjnun kvun Rabbi Moshe Klein Alumni, parents, friends: A dedication in Hakesher is a perfect way to mark Expert Mohel a birth, bar mitzvah, engagement, wedding, Yahrtzeit or any other special event, while assisting us in bringing you this magazine. Comes highly recommended by Rabbi, Dedications will appear on page 2. Rivky and all of the Slonim boys! For information please visit www.JewishBU.com/Hakesher 718-773-2626 • 718-221-2222

PASSOVER 2011 | 21 PassTheover Center at

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habbat. The day possesses an uncanny ability to turned a dark corner, the reflection of unify people across the globe. No matter what flickering lights bounced off my S glasses. My brain sped up, and paused earth-shattering events might unfold during the at the same time. The excitement I week, the sun will set on Friday and Jews will take a felt, the joy that coursed through my step back from their routine and enjoy a day of rest. veins, was unlike anything I had ever felt before. For an instant, I thought When I was a little girl, I was told that in every part maybe I was not alone. Maybe the In- of the world, there were Jews celebrating the sev- ternet was wrong; perhaps there was enth day of creation, Shabbat. I know it may seem a Jewish family in Iceland. As it turned out, the flickering lights naïve, but I believed it. To my core. were in almost every window on the Over winter break, I went to Ice- Shabbat in this part of the world block, I had just been too distracted to land, a country shrouded in myth and when I wasn’t here, I wondered. notice. They were the traditional mystique but surprisingly, closer to On my one Friday there, Shabbat Christmas lights of Iceland, not Shab- NY than Los Angeles. started at 3:15. It was the most pecu- bat candles after all. But the twinge of When I got off the plane, I entered liar yet empowering feeling. I stopped hope that I felt for that instant was the the magical world of Reykjavik, Ice- my day, literally at its climax, for most remarkable feeling. land’s capital. My eyes took in a lush Shabbat. No matter where in the In the middle of Iceland, I internal- countryside dotted with houses in ef- world I was, despite who was—or was ized the power and meaning of the fervescent colors of red and yellow. It not—around me, I was connected to a Jewish community. We lean on each was as if someone had taken a brush community that now seemed like a other in times of happiness and sor- and painted a perfect scene upon a distant memory. row. We rely on each other for so white piece of paper. The landscape As I performed the Friday night rit- many of our observances. A Shabbat included ice and fire, powerful water- uals, I was struck by their ability to meal alone is in fact not a Shabbat falls and steaming volcanoes. The comfort me. I felt enveloped by tradi- meal at all. You can eat Challot, savor country’s unique beauty is in its oxy- tions and practices that have linked grape juice, and enjoy the most delec- moronic nature. Every angle was generations of Jews throughout the table meal, but a true Shabbat is filled breathtaking, yet distinctive. centuries. I felt a part of something with song, shared words, and friend- Iceland with a population of greater than myself, yet, as I recited ship. A Jew is only as great as the com- 317,000 is approximately the size of the familiar words of Kiddush I felt munity to which he or she is bound. Kentucky. Yet, in the entire country, isolated. Ironically, it took being so far away there is not one Jew to be found. It As per family tradition, I took a from my community to realize this. was an odd and overwhelming sensa- walk after my meal. I wandered Alyx Rimberg ’13 is an English Rhetoric and tion: being surrounded by immeasur- through the magnificently lit streets Global Studies Major. Alyx did an internship with The Jerusalem Post in the Summer of 2010. able beauty, mystery, and adventure; of Iceland; I became fully engaged in Currently she pens the “Word on the Brain” yet feeling so alone. Who celebrated the exotic Icelandic culture. As I column in the BU Free Press.

PASSOVER 2011 | 23 NON-PROFIT ORG. US POSTAGE PAID BROOKLYN, NY PERMIT # 1235

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Binghamton students led by Rabbi Levi enjoying a camel ride. For more photos see page 16 and visit our travel blog and photo gallery on line at www. JewishBU.com

Mayanot Birthright Bus #217/Winter 2011