WESTARTNOW.ORG

A PARENT’S GUIDE TO

STAND TOGETHER AND RETHINK TECHNOLOGY WESTARTNOW.ORG

WHAT IS IT?

Cyberbullying is willful, repeated harm inflicted in online spaces, including texts, chat rooms, , YouTube, and gaming CYBER sites/devices.

WHAT THE PROFESSIONALS ARE SAYING...

“Mental health professionals 90%teens who have witnessed online cruelty have ignored have seen a correlation between mean behavior increased incidents of suicide and the use of cell phones. In the past, when kids were bullied, they could get an evening or weekend reprieve at home. But now, every GOOD TO KNOW time your phone beeps, you’re vulnerable. 24 hours a day, According to teachers 7 days a week.” Teachers report that cyberbullying is their #1 safety concern in their classrooms in a recent Google survey. TIM DEWEESE JOHNSON COUNTY MENTAL HEALTH Isolation Only about 1/3 of kids who are being bullied will actually ask an adult for help. WESTARTNOW.ORG

WHAT DOES CYBERBULLYING LOOK LIKE?

While similar to stereotypical bullying in terms of form and technique, cyberbullying can much more devastating.

On the internet, someone could be told, “kill yourself” (or KYS), for anything from 59%of U.S. teens have been having expressed a desire to commit bullied or harassed online suicide to having been bad in a game.

Cyberbullying can look like teens gossiping and lying through texting, creating fake accounts and profiles for others, or taking embarrassing photos of people when they don’t expect it and then posting them online for anyone to see. VS. CYBERBULLYING Victims may not know who is targeting them, or why—the aggressor can disguise it’s important not to confuse themselves and be . sexual bullying (such as someone The hurtful actions can go viral—and a sexting someone else) with the large number of people (in a school, neighborhood, city, world) can participate behavior of predators. The response in extensive victimization with a few to a predator grooming a potential keystrokes or touches of a screen. victim should be totally different

Due to the physical distance allowed by than the response we take to technology, the aggressor does not have to a bully. see the response of the victim. It is much easier to be cruel online because we don’t have to face the consequences.

Because people can access the internet anywhere, if someone is a target of online Learn more at WESTARTNOW.ORG bullying, it’s not as though they can transfer schools to escape it. WESTARTNOW.ORG

with ongoing support and assistance. with ongoing support and assistance. Bark as a Install a monitoring app like monitors a device net, an app that safety content and flags inappropriate passwords that it non-negotiable Make with parents. shared are a small number of friends Only allow content immediately. inappropriate HOW CAN I PREPARE THEM TO TO THEM I PREPARE CAN HOW HANDLE CYBERBULLYING? and apps gain access to new As they their hours by logging you permit”—with of cyberbullying side, pointing out examples see them, coaching them when you to start limits, You’ll want strong with them slowly. and release start when they texting. and family start social media When they a new it’s private. sure account, make bedrooms zones —like device-free Create which is prime time for overnight, harmful content online. online child’s Engage with your to identify how them activities, showing solicitations and unwanted reject can do so anonymously), (you and report strangers, messages from devices, it should feel like a “learner’s like it should feel devices, | A PARENT’S GUIDE GUIDE | A PARENT’S

CYBERBULLYING CYBERBULLYING you tell anyone? Why or why not? or why Why tell anyone? you does cyberbullying What What look like? can people protect themselves? ways noticed if you respond you would How someone cyberbullying? Have you ever been bullied? If so, did been If so, did bullied? ever you Have could talk to me if you you like feel Do you think I will react? do you bullied? How are witnessed? How did it make you feel? feel? you did it make witnessed? How could do anything you like feel Did you do you What happening? to stop it from happened if you think might have stepped in? What kinds of bullying have you you kinds of bullying have What ? ? ? ? ? ? Use any opportunity that gives you a a you gives opportunity that Use any smartphone introduction. and social media Drive.” call this “Ride. Practice. we At START, to a car, child the keys hand your you Before in the you shadowing years spend many they learning the rules of the road. backseat, child unsupervised your Before give you about online access, start a conversation roadCyberbullying—one will hazard they frequently. encounter whether it’s to bring the topic up, way natural see on your you something a schoolassembly, Not in a TV show. or a situation feed, own some ideas: are to ask? Here what sure Not fully, but you have a serious advantage if if a serious advantage have but you Not fully, to ed approach a driver’s take you CAN I PREVENT CYBERBULLYING CYBERBULLYING I PREVENT CAN CHILD? MY TO FROM HAPPENING WESTARTNOW.ORG

Call it Out and actively the victimConsider feels, how the victim. Find for encouragement provide and compassion. to nurture empathy ways Block it can block the apps and sites, you On many bully. Don’t Share it Don’t to share as evidence the behavior Screenshot it on, with an adult, but do not forward Your child it a “like.” comment on it, or give if the harmful content is can get in trouble back to them. traced report the behavior. On most sites, kids can most sites, kids can On report the behavior. aren’t so they report anonymously, behavior a snitch. labeled Reach out to a trusted adult for help, and help, and Reach out to a trusted adult for   Report it Report  2.  3.  4.  WHAT IF MY CHILD WITNESSES WITNESSES IF MY CHILD WHAT CYBERBULLYING? a critical cyberbullyingThose who witness have bullying, By standing up against to play. role difference. a huge can make they child to: your Teach 1. 

to the hosting site or app. online behavior looks like. online behavior looks like. YOUR KIDS FROM CYBERBULLYING YOUR THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP YOU CAN TAKE TO PROTECT PROTECT TO TAKE CAN YOU STEP IMPORTANT THE MOST taking a break from technology, and reporting abusive behavior behavior and reporting abusive technology, from taking a break Have open communication, and teach and safe Have them what proper According to to stop cyberbullying According teens themselves , the best ways are by blocking the aggressor, ignoring him or her, getting parents involved, involved, getting parents ignoring him or her, blocking the aggressor, by are or after using their devices or if they don’t don’t or if they or after using their devices their online about to talk to you want activity. look for specifically, With cyberbullying These include: sleeping • problems habits • changes in eating • loss of possessions account for can’t • injuries they enjoy in activities• loss of interest they • decline in academics or loss of friends • isolation self-esteem • lowered • self-destructive behaviors kids are behaviors that demonstrate your example, For anxious about their devices. become while, before, upset if they for watch Only about a third of kids who are being bullied being who are a third of kids Only about bullied help. It’s therefore will actually ask an adult for of the warning signs aware you’re crucial that kids might bethat your being bullied. WHAT ARE WARNING SIGNS THAT THAT SIGNS ARE WARNING WHAT BULLIED? IS BEING SOMEONE CYBERBULLYING CYBERBULLYING WESTARTNOW.ORG

strategies, with the goal of stopping the with the goal of stopping the strategies, in Bear in mind that bullying behavior. themselves, that’s ideal. that’s themselves, if happened online (e.g., If the bullying has or posts), reportthe or sexts texts are there the user doing block and/or harmful behavior as much of that info as the bullying. Save possible with screenshots. You will need it if the Do not forward third parties involved. are parties. work to unrelated As you screenshots kids’ your potential solutions, get toward the best think are they opinions on what scenarios, the bestworst-case solution another school. child is in immediate If your crisis problem based on the kind of bullying that is is that the kind of bullying based on problem cyber). social, verbal, As occurring (physical, kids, belookout to help your on the seek you to them handle empower can you how for getting involved. without you their situations But if necessary. what’s if that’s Do intervene the problem deal with can safely kids your kids to your bemight in fact transferring thought ask if they’ve considering suicide), (e.g., and of hurting If so, ask them why themselves. hurting thought about themselves. they’ve how progressed Your goal is to find out if they’ve as to actually to take beso far planning how the to gotten have Most kids will not their lives. need a plan, you have planning stage, so if they immediately to get in touch with a psychologist (not the school) kids and get your long-term help. section See the additional resources information. more for page on the next address the the in crisis, address kids are not If your

Remember, the majority of kids who experience of kids who experience the majority Remember, kids come If your tell anyone. bullying won’t being they’re that and actually tell you to you experiencing means the they’re bullied, that the bully that significant than their fear is more be seen as a will hurt they’ll them or that either: 1. emotionally stable Determine if they’re or 2. in crisis, meaning they’re and frustrated; in fight or flight mode be and could considering self-harm or suicide. Determine if what happened was actually bully- was happened Determine if what beinging: is the harm in a willful, repeated done way? child is being your bullied, believe it’s If you first and foremost critical that you’re for blame them don’t you know sure they Make to share often afraid what’s happening. Kids are in mind Keep blame themselves. because they with a story come to you children your if that else being someone they’re about bullied, what might or might not besaying genuine. They as though it to you the information could present but actually be talking a third party, about were themselves. about (S)HE’S BULLIED? BEING Separate the kids involved. tattletale. children know sure your empathetic and make hearthat you them. Your child must know and rationally will intervene you that sure for One worse. the situation and not make logically, to deal with have of the toughest things you’ll reaction when your is controlling as a parent being kids are hurt. hear your You will be you tempted to go right into “protect” mode, become and swiftly mete out justice. But upset or angry, must remain calm and gather all the facts— you kids down. your shut otherwise, you’ll WHAT DO I DO IF MY KID SAYS SAYS IF MY KID DO I DO WHAT CYBERBULLYING CYBERBULLYING WESTARTNOW.ORG

ational Suicide Prevention Lifeline ational Suicide Prevention internet troll over 24 years over troll internet Splinter The History of Bullying in America Brooks Gibbs A School Almost Shooter I Was Stark, TEDxBoulder Aaron Bullying is Not Just a Kid Problem Cyberbullying Research Center Materials Reference Cyberbullying Research Center Resources Association Bullying Prevention International American Association of Suicidology Justice and Delinquency Office of Juvenile Prevention to Deal with Hate Speech5 Ways Online Common Sense Media for Educators Cyberbullying.org too, says study Bullied kids suffer academically, CNN the of to LULZ, the evolution LOL From Hempfield kids battle bullying battle bullying Hempfield kids WGAL News Bullying to Prevent How StopBullying.gov for The Social Bond: Way Practical A Schools to Bullying Reduce Cyberbullying.org Kids Bullying About to to Your Talk How Be Strong Bullying Are the Solution to Workplace YOU Be Strong N Tips Ten Top Cyberbullying: Preventing ADDITIONAL RESOURCES ADDITIONAL Enough.org

This parent guide is liscensed and distributed with guide is liscensed and distributed with This parent in-depth, faith-based more Axis. For permission by resources on this topic, visit Axis.org. parenting and teach them instances of , and teach them to power Words do have to hostility. resilience on not kids can work hurt your us, but the more resilient the more internalizing hurtful words, of the rest but for will be, not just now, they Encourage your kids not to your reactEncourage to minor with online contact have Limiting who they criminal behavior or physical threats, you will will you threats, or physical criminal behavior the police. need to involve their lives. harm the reducing toward can go a long way should also They others. from experience they of cyberbullying evidence in case this any save to is needed if the authorities have information be involved. TO BE RESILIENT IN THE FACE OF OF FACE IN THE BE RESILIENT TO kids to with your figure out potential Work solutions to stop problem. the bullying need to might you Depending on the situation, talk to the school of the kid who is or the parents involves If the situation doing the bullying. HOW CAN I EMPOWER MY CHILD MY CHILD I EMPOWER CAN HOW CYBERBULLYING? CYBERBULLYING CYBERBULLYING