A Wilfrid Laurier U nivGPsify Student Publication Volume XXXII, Issue 7 Thursday September 36,1991
TheCord Photo t)ij Gpis StalkOS 3rd floor, Student Union Building 884-1360 1 1
J® «/e Ji(f} IjS* /WokTURRETfest■ October 17, 18 &19 j JftflTJgSw. in the Sir Wilf tradition, all HAWKS love t0...
. M eat Oktoberfest sausage & sauerkraut 112oc Jf >0 polka to a live band wC/ j$ Sq play games in Willison Lounge \ ! ~ / °112/) while rolling out the barrel in the company of . starring -z 3 friends! i
Come and clueer on tLe Oawts! |
Don't forget our Pep Rally and iBfNSON 18-B-Q in tike Quiad 12pm -2pm!
EAlslsß.(96 Md j
C OC s'h V> 4 / M 'Bpm I WLU $3 TWO Other $4 SESSIONS RUNNING: flVk 112 lK - - *&§ 6:30 8:00pm. 8:00 9:3opm. « M |
OLy • per couple I I
Beginning 29, 1991 — September IWr i* |
ii^n-Irnras start Tliursdaj Sept, 19 at tike II I ¥£&jdM f.Wk.J H Each session is 8 weeks in length./1Mm £ ~m11 S«trRSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26. 1991 THE CORD EDITORIAL PAGE 3 Editorial: Constitutional woes The Constitutional Reforms. Before I consider the impact that these reforms will have on the country, I find myself preoccupied with the characters involved in this debate. The ten elected officials that have the power to change our Con- stitution. Although the issues themselves are newsworthy, the media spends as much time addressing the QUIRKS of our premiers. The powers that the premiers stand to gain from the talks is influencing their decision making ability. The Constitutional Amendments that are to strengthen the identity of the country are turning out to be an 'everyone for themselves' political spectacle. Each premier is coming to the table with their own mandate for their province. I am concerned that these 'personal agendas' will cloud the judgment necessary toreach a settlement. The other problem that is immediately noticeable is that of previous political opinions on the Meech Lake Accord I am [ referring specifically to Clyde Wells, the premier who stopped the Meech Lake Accord. Now I may be exaggerating but his past actions place him in a delicate position. He has his constituents believing that there is not a deal favourable to the entire Canadian population, and he will not be a part of any 'closed negotiations'. Being this blatant about his views | j may have only served to back him into a corner. As in any negotiations, concessions need to be made on both sides, this concrete position may have limited his ability to be an effective negotiator. A Wilfrid taurier University Student Publication j j Although the final outcome of the discussions relies heavily on the whims of the individual premiers, there is a bright 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont. N3L 2C5 spot in the proceedings - the Canadian people. For the next five months the Canadian people will be able to express Fax: (519)886-9351 I their displeasure or pleasure regarding the Amendments. This seems to me the most important part of the reforms. The tone of the people will give the premiers direction, an indication of whether they are on the right track. If people send SEPTEMBER 26,1991 the signal that they want to negotiate then I think that all other political considerations should be shelved. Premiers VOLUME XXXH, ISSUE 7 should listen to the people and then do what they were elected to do - act in the best interests of the people they represent. I hope that we are able to as a country look back on these 1992 Constitutional Amendments and laugh at EDITORIAL BOARD these in- significant delays. I think the strength of the Canadian people is in their ability to arbitrate and compromise - I only EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ...... not vacant hope they are able to bestow these generous virtues upon themselves. .——. NEWS EDITOR ..... vacant ASSOCIATE NEWS I EDITOR ...... v...... vacant By Stephanie Perrin, Production Manager SCENE EDITOR vacant ASSISTANT SCENE The opinions expressed are those the author and do not necessarily those the rest vacant of reflect of of the Cord staff. | SPORTS EDITOR :m0409m»0409*0440-0»44400*000W»**000**001....vacant FEATURES EDITOR.... Karen Lennox PRODUCTION MANAGER Stephanie Perrin Production Assistants: W4m*09f*4M4w0940»9440*994000+0*00000»a000»0000MMM000». Nikl Westman vacant
m940»»w*»0*»wm0*000000*-W04aM0*m»000m-»4MMm0»»0*mitmMmMBmrm*+»*9*0ow* vacant Classified Coordinator vacant Circulation and Filing vacant The Copy Editors *+9*mo+»9m*44o*fo4oo9**oooom'[ Jennifer O'Connell vacant Graphics Artist J.ft Artinger University CONTRIBUTORS: MIKE, Sheldon Page, Sarah Kirby, Kevin Watson, J. Wally Neilson, Chris Skalkos, Sally Norris, Fisher Sheffield, Steve Hodgson, Chris Dodd, Tony Blues Hymers, Craig Burk, Nick Jimenez, Terry Grogan, Travis Mealing, Ingrid Nielsen, Laura Hanneman, Jeff Heywood, Dave marcus, Ward Black, Gordon Cooke, James Bell, Ryan Feeley, Brent Dobson, and Jana Watson, Production: Tony big dumb palooka Burke, Tom Szeibel, Paul Reed Chris Skalkos, Sheldon Page, j Ren6, Kevin Watson, J.J. Frosty, MIKE, Wendy, j Jonathan Batch By J.R. Photo: Tom Szeibel, Chris Skalkos, Harvey Luong, Jennifer Kuntz, Eda DiLiso, Stacey Doyle, MIKEI STUDENT PUBLICATIONS Artinger SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN Rick Dalea PHOTO MANAGER Liaa Darling Photo Technicians: Ward Black Pier Paul Overduln Graphic Arts Technician...... vacant ADVERTISING: MANAGER Peter Matiss Letter to the editor:
INQUIRIES: 884-2990 (Editorial) 884-5092 (Advertising). National advertising by Campus Plus: (41$) 481-7283. Crimes in Croatia Dear Editor, The cutting of limbs, the severing of throats and gouging out of eyes to both Croatian Policemen and civilians in Croatia must stop. This barbarism performed by the Serbian (known as Cetniks) The Cord really would liketo hen from you. Please submitLetters terrorists is well documented. to the Edge, typed and double-spaced by Monday at noon for the follow- The widely known acts of aggression performed by Serbian terrorists (aided by the Yugoslav Army), continues to in- ing publication. We can only print letters that bear the author's real name, crease with every passing day. tokfbMtonumber, and lEK number(if applicable), utre print but wba't this attempts by Community to stop stuff ifyou don't want us to. AH submissions become the property ofThe The weak the European the violence is futile. The Yugoslav Army has been acting on Cwd and we reserve rigfrt to edit and refuse any submissions, because its own accord since the beginning of the summer. Ceasefires signed, have only succeeded in providing the Yugoslav we sometimesfeel theneed to. Furthermore, The Cord will not print any- * Army with more time to prepare for their next attack. considered to be sexist, racist or homophobic in nature by the staff *» * The voting body, or which is in violation of our code of ethics, creed, m Yugoslav Army continues to advance in accordance with Serbian policy...that is, to create a "Greater Serbia". Dur- plain good . taste. ing its assault on Croatia, the Yugoslav Army (commanded by Serbian Generals), have destroyed churches and hospi- Bight month, 24 issue Cord $20.00 subscription rates an: for ad- tals (knowingly killing civilians inside). In the Croatian village of Celje, Serbian terrorists to dresses within Canada and $25 outside the country, but we absolutely burnt it the ground while refine to send to South America, 112« reasons which eacap© us at the my the Yugoslav Army watched. ment. Co-opaadents may subscribe at a rate of$10 perfour month work ~ The continued thirst for a "Greater Serbia" has left thousands of Croatians homeless! Croatians are fleeing from their • - villages leaving The offices ofHieCord are dirty, bot accessible on the 2nd floor of everything behind. This is the reason that I am writing to you, my fellow Laurier students. With winter the S.U.B, The Cord is printed Jjy the together people at the Cambridge quickly approaching, many homeless Croatians will die from the cold. If you feel the need to contribute some clothing, - nflptHftSfc • ' you may contact me at 746-8301 (ask for Eddie). < Anything is acceptable, not. " k published once a week the fall even if you feel the clothing is Used «, during and winterterms, jMtwwh W reKw 8 many times a day. The Cord is a member of the. boots, jackets, sweaters, or socks that you will donate will be more than appreciated. OwitttoCcKnmtßatyifewspaperAssociation, but that's about it. My relatives living in Zagreb are in hiding somewhere in the city. They Copyright (c) 1991 by University only have the clothes on their backs. Thou- WLU Student Publications, 75 are Ave. West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may sands in the same predicament Please, if you can or wish to, donate clothing today! be reproduced without permission of the Editor-in-Chief. Thank you. JCce day for a party, isn't it? Eddy Hadjur THE CORD TOIJRSDAY. SEPTEMBER 2 The Women's Centre Collective Don't gripe -- do something Dear Editor, Scare us! In last week's issue of The Cord you published a letter to the editor titled (The Cord Messed Up) by Paula Kalijarvi, Tanya Saari and Susan Tupakka. ' These three ladies seemed upset that the September 12 issue #5 of The Cord The Cord's "Kingdom Laurier's Battle of the Bands" article neglected a detailed history of Maudlins Eleven, one of the three bands that is having a played that night. Too bad they missed the point frightening The article was not about Maudlins Eleven, nor was it about Out of This Came That, the other band that performed that evening. This story and photo story was about WLUSU pulling off a successful Frosh week event by booking three good bands, one of which (Wild'T' and The Spirit) was concentrated on forreasons stated in the article. * contest for If these three ladies would like to hear flowery prose about "spirit, energetic and talented" groups why don't they volunteer their services r.ili to The Cord? Chris Skalkos Winning entries Applause for Shinerama Dear Editor, Shinerama 1991 from all counts appears to have been highly suc- cessful. It was fun to see WLU students out in the community in record numbers shining everything in sight including bicycles, eye- glasses, fire engines, and windshields! ease submitstories The WLU students deserve applause and cheers! Sincerely, ; ShankarA. Yelaja Cord office by Oct. 18 Employ words ' P non-offensive ■: vx; Editor, . Dear . I am writing to complain about the article "The press is a cru gang of faggots" by Fisher Sheffield which appeared in the Septem ber 12 issue of The Cord. The use of the term "faggot" is offensive. AH entries become of respect for gay men and lesbians, and suppo It shows a lack use prejudice on campus. Undoubtably, you would not permit the property of The Cord. > similar terms with to other groups such as rac derogatory respect worn cultural or religious minorities, the physically challenged, or ■ apology for the use | I would like to request that The Cord print an Prizes to be this term and desist from employing it in the future. announced. Sincerely, Brian 0 Neill CROSSWORD CLUES pg 9 DANCE LIKE A FLOOZE pg 1 Lots of women HARD BOOZE pg 8 take back the THE MUSE pg 12 night Ingrid Nielsen The Cord Few knew what to expect when they ventured out on the NEWS.....pg5 evening of September 18, and curious anticipation was running high. This was the evening of the SHOES pg 4 nation-wide protest march "Take OLD Back the Night". The march is regarded widely WHO LOSE pg 3 as strictly a women's protest PEOPLE against injustice perpetrated against them, but they argue this 7 is not the sole reason behind the PETTING ZOOS pg march. Their movement is a peaceful one, however the organizers remained powerless to SINGING THE BLUES pg 6 a scarcely suppressed fury which flowed through the crowd. "I am terrified to go out at SOVIET COUPS pg 13 night," said one woman, "and that makes me furious. I am a basket case every time my daughter goes TIME FOR A SNOOZE pg 8 out at night, and sometimes when I lie awake at night alone, listen- ing to every bump in the dark, I TOXIC GOOZE pg 10 wonder why we put up with this fear and what in the world we can do about it." The march began in Waterloo Park at 7:00 and women and men of all ages were invited to attend. Ours...all ours As the crowd gathered in the Nick Jimenez park, protest signs and candles Special to the Cord were distributed, as well as white cream for the faces. The white Holy Moly, can you believe it? Seagram Stadium is ours. After face was explained to be a sym- six months of harrowing negotiations, Waterloo City Council voted bol of respect and mourning for unanimously to support the transfer of the Seagram's property to the millions of women, children, WLU for the nominal fee of one dollar. and men who die at the hands of Women marching around Waterloo with The proposal was first introduced to council six months ago. It cruelty and abuse. The signs candles and things. Pic: Jen Kuntz was tabled as a result of concerns raised by some members of council ranged in strength and message, that officials at the University of Waterloo had not been adequately yet all conveyed the underlying The real intensity of the eve- The walk continued through consulted in the decision making process. message of intolerance and anger. ning occurred at the end of the the heart of Kitchener-Waterloo, Councillor Brown raised a similar concern on Monday, wondering On one side of many of the signs march, at Speakers Corner all the way to Speakers Corner. whether UW has expressed any concerns to the city with respect to were the names and ages of the downtown. The crowd gathered What had started as a group of WLU changing the stadium's name. young women killed in the in a tight circle around "Jess", approximately 200 swelled to president, WLU Dr. Weir assured council that "WLU is mindful Montreal massacre. One of the and she began an impassioned slightly over 500 people. As the of the interests and sensitivities of the University of Waterloo," but speech. own tragic was march passed by stores and organizing women, "Jess", wore a Her story importance right to briefly restaurants, stressed the that WLU have the re-name the facil- cardboard pictmc of the recently mentioned, but her curious onlookers face and ity. The compromise involved Laurier promising that as long as UW murdered university student, Nina crusade was for a far larger cause must be covered in white football Warriors continue to play all of their home games in the De Villiers. One other sign stood than herself. She spoke of the be in relative disguise. stadium, the remain other speakers ap- name will "Seagram's". uniquely alone and slightly out of dangers she was encountering due Many accepting to organizing podium Weir told council that the motion would allow Laurier place as it not so quietly read these protests, ex- proached the and to ac- launch an alumni fund-raising campaign to raise $3 million for "Feminism still lives", casting an plaining another reason why she delivered their own cries for Con- stadium development which includes installing artificial turf. The almost sinister note on an other- took a small step back and per- tion. A young male form campaign will be inaugurated this weekend at Homecoming. wise equality-driven demonstra- haps regarded the reality of the estoga College in Waterloo said a The acquisition of Seagram's Stadium is a veritable coup for the tion. problem in a whole new light. few strong words for the crowd. University. The facility will free up space on lower campus for He announced his school's, as recreation facilities, possibly give Laurier teams a facility to play well as the whole city's participa- their games closer to campus, thereby increasing attendance and tion in this week's Sexual Aware- awareness of Laurier athletic programs other than football and hock- ness week, dealing with fund rais- ey, and the flexibility of hosting all kinds of events never before pos- PC at WLU ing and public awareness for is- sible. (How about an outdoor concert?) Terry Grogan sues including date rape, sexual Most importantly, we have a stadium to call our own. The Cord assault, child abuse, and violence in society in general. Mike Harris, the leader of the Ontario Progressive Conservative This type of organized protest Party came to Wilfrid Laurier Univerisity Wednesday, September 18, was held in every major city and spoke to a large crowd packed into the Paul Martin Centre, at just across Canada (except in B.C. past 4:00 in the afternoon. which has it a different night) Before accepting questions from the floor, Harris spoke for over ranging from Regina to Toronto twenty minutes, outlining his belief in the philosophy that the to Halifax. The urgent message "government that governs the best governs the least", and his criti- couldn't be missed, as well as the cisms of the current provincial NDP government in Ontario. A recur- overwhelming feeling of ring theme in Harris's comments was that the provincial government solidarity and strength in num- had lost its way in setting its priorities for public spending and the bers. Whereas Canada and the economic future of Ontario, and that Harris believed it was time the world is facing many problems province, as with his party, should start getting "back to basics". and crises, violence in society is Harris presents himself as a "new style leader", emphatic in his indisputably one of the top of the devotion to principles above and beyond partisan bickering. Asked list. We can try to find solace in who he would "sell out to" to gain election, Harris was brief in his the fact that as long as we never answer that if he could not change public opinion to support for his accept it's actions and con- initiatives, he would simply not be elected. sequences as part of our normal At the conclusion of his address to the assembled students, Harris lives, we still have a fighting took a few moments out of his schedule to grant The Cord an exclu- chance. It is only when we don't Going...going...sold! Pic: Chris Skalkos sive interview, reflecting on, among other things, the 1984, 1987, and challenge injustice and violence 1990 provincial election campaigns. to be fright- For on© dollar to school In the front row. is there a true reason INTERVIEW ON PAGE 6 ened. THE CORD THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2.G. i99l 6 NEWS were interviewissues, so we The MikeThe Boss?Harris through very many focussed primarily on one-- H: Yeah. C: How many months after you were elected leader did Peter- CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 C: So how could you just suddenly collapse in 1984? Was it the son call the election? Three months? new leader [Frank Miller, at the time], or the...? H: Yeah...that's right...about two and a half months... Cord: I just want to say that I came here purposely late because H: It was part that...we didn't collapse...not completely. I mean, C: So it was a snap call election, and David Peterson was sit- I wanted to be the last person in to sit in the back, so I could look we still got the most votes out of anyone elected...er, we still got ting with 50% of the decided voters (what with the NDP with 7d - H: Yeah...that was opportunity the campaign's on now, I mean I'm campaigning for H: Yeah, well, part of that too- ours- C: That was yours? three and a half years from now — to reach absolutely as many C: "A calm politician for a calm time"? bank, people as I can, to convince as many people as I can that what I'm H: Yeah...yeah...but over a period of time, it all caught up to H: The piggy going into the vice?...That was ours- fighting for is a cause worth fighting for...and to join the cause. him: and the polls didn't matter, and the slickness didn't matter, C: Maybe...maybe then...maybe then that's part of the reason why you C: I guess you do a lot of these small, town hall-type meet- and the campaign didn't matter...and I think, even more so now, we 105t...1 mean, when I can't even distinguish between your ings... look back to that peiod ofrelative prosperity, and see how much we commercials...and the NDP tapped all that voter frustration with the - "X"~ H: Yeah, and outside of Queen's Park, it's just and I do many wasted, during the Peterson years... big of these meetings in Toronto, between smaller groups and the C: Ok...what about 1990?...That was a whole new ballgame: I H: ...I think...l think that our commercials were quite good, for the message that we wanted to sell...the other ridings, and the communities, of course, around the province - but know, right at the very start, you had a very coherent message: you difficulty that we had was we were the key, though, is that the Queen's Park environment — the Ques- were "Mike 'Taxfighter' Harris", and...uh...1 mean, you just seemed that selling a message of lesser taxation, and that meant tion Period, the thrust and parry, if you like, of the debate there - is to have the most coherent message about, specifically, what you lesser spending, and that meant some cuts that the public wasn't quite to and quite an artificial world...and, some people see one side of me wanted to do, while the NDP was just playing to all the different ready accept yet: I think that they understood that now, that it was the right message, at the right there...but it's not the real world, and it's not where I get the best special interest groups...but, somehow, they w0n!...1 mean, it was time...the second a was the credibility problem: was fighting at a feedback, and the best ideas from; it's from the people - like surprise...it was, like, the next morning, everybody wake up, I taxes time when the federal PC party had just C: It's from taxi drivers and waitresses and stuff — and went: "They won?"...and couldn't believe it...how, how did, brought in the most unpopular tax in H: Right... how did—? Canada-the GST-and, so, my opposition kept reminding people C: So I guess you've been to every riding in the province then? H: Well again, it just never- that "You can't believe Harris, because look at what Mulroney H: I have...l don't go to every one, every year - C: Was it just that the people...was it just that the party was not did"...so that was difficult for me to overcome, that misleading C: From Kenora to Renfrew to Chatham — prepared? message that it is quite easy to spread at election time. H: But we certainly hit groups of ridings, in the major areas H: Well, we were not well prepared, we weren't well C: I remember the number "33": that was the thing, "33 new tax every year...and certainly the challenge is to make sure that I'm in prepared...financially, candidate-wise, there's no question about increases in the last five years"; you know, of the two things I re- every riding more than once in this kind of four year period be- that...we have to go back to 1990: David Peterson, everybody said member the most of the whole campaign, "X" and "33" are it~ tween elections. he was going to be re-elected with a majority: he was a shoe- H: Yeah- C: What do you think the underlying reasons were for the in...nobody expected either the NDP or our party to have a credible C: And, I mean, maybe "33" just wasn't as potent an image as party's loss in 1984? What did they have, a 42-year dynasty? campaign...so there were some surprises, once the campaign "X": maybe you should stick to letters next time, instead of H: Sure— started..certainly, 1 think our message was right, in the numbers— C: Or, you know, for 42 years out of 50 years, they were...they campaign...we didn't have the time, or the money, to be known H: That might be... lOKTOBERFESTI #M IU1111: L'jl STUDENT NIGHT | I/? A I COUPON IS FOR YOU! I X I ! QQ( eilß I I - II I ' 99 vUD j (if Buy any footlong | mth Ii• i I 'wVJ \ I submarine sandwich I / I : & a large drink & ! I I ! receive I the second ! I ---1 ! foodong sub ! \ ! (of equal value or less) \ I 1 I I aly #J'n for 99 - ten showed up - mostly minors. Due to the design of the Turret, breakage anyone who has been They were given the option to go the installation of a draft system at the Turret at closing time to Wilf's. At 11:20 the Turret would be very difficult. knows what that is like. Second is Student's Choice closed its doors. Dawson said that due to the increased storage space. A case of This has happened in previous huge volume of canned and cans takes up half the storage for years. The policy of WLUSU is bottled beer, draft is not neces- space of bottles. Futon's that unless during exams the Tur- ret will remain open, regardless For quality, price and the largest in-stock of attendance until midnight. In Dawson's opinion, this is a waste selection of futons, come see K-W's of time and money. Around $400 was spent on forerunner in futons at 2001 Futon. labour Saturday night, while only 3 alcohol sales were made. 2. Line ups in the Turret stair- well are no more. Since the start of classes Wilf's is a holding tank for the Turret. When the Turret is full, num- bers will be given out to people in • ' * v v VWVWM line and they are sent to Wilf's. This will expose new customers to Wilf's and greatly increase its revenue. Campus Security is happy '• with the new system since there v. > «-• •. vc $ WITH THIS COUPON ■m** s/\/\/\/l Futons and OPEN SUNDAYS 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. co Frames from: x-4 fßtt a\ 00. / > iJgyT- "*A Single - $178.00 Double ■ $199.00 A /\ N ' ' '' /^^^/%oo^ 'i?s^ / %, : ''' ; " : V; ; . ■^"' .V, ~ /. ,■. ':' V .■ ~ :■ LAURIER BOOKSTORE LEATHER JACKET WEEK Sept 30-oct 4 10am to 4pm LEANER $2(9.95 MELTON i LEATHER $179.9$ $115.00 DEPOSIT REQUIRED fHURSDAV. SEPTEMBER 26. X99 X THE CORD NEWS 9 Students at Queen's Park Whatever the Sally Norris duced; some of these are ex- angry responses from the stu- The Cord panded OSAP, Native Post- dents. subject, we keep Secondary program and a Native Thursday September 19, five Education Council. The next speaker was the representatives from Wilfrid In the past year the Ministry chair of the Ontario Federation of you informed. Laurier Student Union attended a of Colleges and Universities had Students, Laurie Kingston. She meeting of Richard Allen, Minis- given $9 million for improve- was angry. Her anger was caused ter of Colleges and Universities ments to services and acces- by underfunding, the decline in with student representatives from sibility for disabled students. $3 teaching quality and the over- Subscribe to The Globe and Mail across Ontario at Queen's Park in million was designated for crowding. Kingston stated that Toronto. campus safety, WLU received a there was no dialogue with the now at the special student rate Attending the meeting was the mere $20 000. ministry and demanded a time Minister, Dr. Allen, the Deputy The Minister expressed that a line for the fulfillment of election Minister, Bernard Shapiro and main concern was Ontario's fund- promises of a tuition fee freeze. of 50% off. Jim Thomas of the Management ing of universities relative to that Board staff. The Ontario Feder- of the other provinces. Last year For a meeting that was called ation of Students (OFS) chairper- Ontario was ninth out of ten pro- on very short notice, Ontario's As a student subscriber, you'll save $10 son was also present and universities well vinces for university program were when you register for the permitted to make a statement funding. Dr. Allan's aim was to represented: Nipissing, Algoma, The reason for the meeting, get Ontario out of the basement Carleton, Lakehead and Queens GREEN LINE - GLOBEAND MAIL according to the Minister, was to of university finances. Un- are just a few that travelled ex- INVESTMENT CHALLENGE continue the open dialogue be- fortunately, it was the students, tensively to attend. It was public- tween the students and the Minis- through tuition fee hikes, thai ly noted that there were no col- try. Dr. Allen hopes to have an paid for these programs. leges invited to attend. • Canada's most challenging and dynamic open relationship with the col- After the Minister spoke, the simulated investment game leges and universities. All schools had a chance to floor was given to John Thomas • speak. The messages and ideas Play and learn the stock market like a pro Over the past year Dr. Allen for a Treasury Report. There were differed according to the schools' • has developed an image of the no surprises from this report; ex- Thousands of dollars in prizes to be won individual needs. However, there ministry's effect on the university penditures are up and the govern- • For complete information call 1-800-387-3531 system; this is one of equality of ment must cut costs. University was a common message. The stu- accessibility. In order to do this, funding is going to be cut and dents have put money and effort into their institution now new programs have been intro- fees raised. This raised a lot of and it's time for the government to match the commitment. Nick Jimenez, President of the Wilfrid Laurier University Students' Union, spoke on From Uganda Laurier's behalf. He supported the comments and ideas presented to the Minister and expressed a Travis Mealing "The relationship with faculty is concern for the need of a follow- The Cord very personal. It's a wonderful up which has been lacking. school." The Laurier delegation all felt Wilfrid Laurier University has Clearly Madaka is adjusting that the concerns raised and ideas a new student this year. very well to life in Canada. He discussed were valid but only if This is not news unless you feels very fortunate to have been acted upon and pursued by all realize that the student is from given such an opportunity. parties involved. Uganda, a small central African country with a population of about ten million. The student's name is Peter Madaka and he is in Canada as a refugee claimant. NEWS WBS MEETINGS The World Universities Ser- vices in Canada brought Madaka every Wednesday at 5:30 to Canada. He is supported in part by the WLU Students' Union. in the haDDV-fun Cord offices Last year a referendum to collect a one dollar contribution from each student through Students' Union | MAIL TO: The Globe and Mail, Circulation Dept.,444 Front St. W„ | fees passed, and the facul- j Toronto, Ontario, Canada MSV 259 | ty are giving a dollar each as well. He is receiving I want to become a Gobe and Mail subscriber. free tuition T 7" /Begin my special-rate subscription for from the University. + = Complete name brand 386sx! (J\J □ 13-week term: $28.28 81.98 GST 830.26 Y = Madaka, + who lived in the cap- ■jM • meg dfciee J- V/O# □ 26-week term: 856.55 83-96 GST 560.51 ital city of Kampala, had to m* go 1 through a lengthy application pro- v $999 I Name cess before being accepted into introductory contact I I Canada as This is an offer, a student. Usually, I University Campus preference is given to South Afri- local dealerfor prices an other systems can students, but special consid- SoarPikar S70-0101 I Residence Room# Studentl.D eration was given to Madaka be- I I cause of his outstanding creden- I Address tials. , | I Province "It was quite a long process Citv which I went through. There were ' Postal Code Phone many other applicants," said | | ' Madaka. This address is Con campus Dotfcampus Now that he is in Canada, however, the three year wait ' O Cheque monev order enclosed CVisa- □ MasterCard u American hxpress seems worth it. Although he has Charge Card # Expire [>aic only been here for a short time, he says that Canada is "just like (3® (9$ I I heaven." Madaka is very im- Signalurc . pressed by the friendliness of Ca- < rujunvd » SIGAI-90 . l nadians. I \(Vn- Otter (>nl\ valid where home deliver iviwilahle < )tter expires IIWIl WI The president of a student federation in Uganda, Madaka CANADA'S NATIONAL NEWSPAPER marvels at the many differences THE GLOBE AND MAIL between university students here ii and there. At Laurier, he praises the student to faculty ratio, saying THE CORD 10 NETWS Now if only the Concourse were licensed.... Sarah Kirby other, you forget assignments and without even realizing it In fact transformed into a library of in- not to lecture about or discourage The Cord skip lectures. Are you spending you may know someone who is formation about alcoholism. the use of alcohol. Rather it is all of your money on alcohol? addicted and not even realize it There will be pamphlets, discus- there to teach about drinking Are you one of those people Are you addicted to "having a yourself. This is what Alcohol sions and videos, all set up to responsibly. Discussions and who find themselves waking up good time"? Awareness Week is all about. teach students more about alcohol videos will teach how to handle every other morning hung-over? Alcohol is a substance that Between September 30 and and its effects. peer pressure, alcoholic warning One day begins to blend into an- many people become addicted to October 5, the Concourse will be The idea behind this week is signs and how to drink socially without overdoing it On October 2, there will be a discussion panel in room P2067. "V J v.. The three member panel will meet between 12:30 and 1:30 to talk about alcoholism and responsible drinking. The panel will consist of a Career Services counselor, a Bacchus representa- tive and a recovering alcoholic. They will begin with short presentations which will Jia/ eventually lead to a related dis- cussion. All students who are in- terested in joining the discussion are encouraged to show up. Stop by the Concourse next week and learn more about a sub- stance that leads to death, abuse and assault Crime From the weekly security reports: BACKLOG (September 7). SEX- UAL ASSAULT ON CAMPUS: Two males attacked and molested a student on her way home from a bar. She called the Waterloo po- lice. THEFT: A wallet was stolen from an unattended knapsack on the fifth floor of the library. ALARMS: Both Bouckaert and the Bricker Residence suffered JKKHKKKpSk Kitchener through fire alarms (without an actual fire). INDECENT ACT: Five males " ONEWAY l were observed exposing them- selves in the Conrad Quad. Three of the perpetrators were caught | and all five suspects are WLU ONE WAY students. W wRf • jmgjmi Tickets must be purchased at DISTURBANCE: "The fight W PB&Br ■ JKBBt HF I0 Wg 'east 5 days in advance. started, or so it seems, when one Students travel for 50% off every of the combatants feuKgood eve- ¥ XSBBm t day of the week with VIA. But ning" to two young ladies on the W I B&SBSw don't wait around! Seats sell fast, Turret staircase. The second M especially on busy routes. So plan I brawler, also waiting in the Turret ■L JBHHr ahead and enjoy all the comfort line-up, found this remark of- and freedom only the train fensive and a fight ensued. The allows. combatants were evicted from the ll building." M For full details, a travel agent or VIA Rail™- DISTURBANCE: A 25-year-old i||9||fl of • • from the University WBm Min. 5-day advance purchase. 50% male IHI| discount applies to full-time students Toronto was evicted from the with I D. for one-way Coach travel in the Turret when he refused to show Quebec City/Windsor Corridor only. ■ proper identification. I Blackout dates: Dec. 15 - Jan. 3, Apr. 16 - I I 20. (During these periods, and through- THAT'S ALL FOLKS: Remark I out the year, student discount is 10%, ending the weekly securityreport: I with no advance purchase require- "Otherwise relatively quiet on ment.) • Seats limited - varies according campus." I to route and date. ■ Other conditions I may apply. Please enquire. H From the DAC: At Monday's Dean's Ad- visory Council meeting, the five minors caught drinking in the Turret during Frosh Week were addressed. All five were barred for one calendar year from any li- censed facility on campus and were placed on probation. Also brought before the DAC were four students who attempted |^| fraudulently to get Laurier Identi- fication Cards for the purpose of gaining entrance to the Turret or Wilf's. These students were placed on probation, fined $50, and banned from WLU's licenced premises until January. THE CORD NEWS 11 Students left homeless Ingrid Nielsen they didn't admit those extra 180 didn't get it, I was shocked." What is a Laurier promise cepted 1550 students, and in the News Commentary people to burn us all. According Assured residence was one of worth these days, you ask? A lot end 120 students were either left to Laurier officials, it is common the reasons that many students of explanations and an unsettling on the waiting list or had aban- What's a Laurier promise practice to mail out more offers chose Laurier, according to many dependency on dumb luck. doned it for assured housing else- worth these days? Not much to of admission than the school of my neighbors and classmates. Laurier housing this year ac- where. the 120 first year students who could expect to manage. The idea did not receive the "almost" is that a number of students will promised residence. In the first decline admission for one reason week the bitterness was running or another, and all the numbers high as disillusioned students will balance themselves out. Lots of women gave up on the prospective wait- However, it didn't all balance out ing list, and moved into their off this time, and Laurier officials campus housing. The bitterness were left smiling proudly yet stems from more than just the squirming uncomfortably at the breathing easy often higher costs, the 12 month inevitable prospect of accom- leases, and the greater distances modating an extra 180 students. Sheldon Page and would be located at strategic places around campus from the main attraction which Unfortunately, all of this Laura Hanneman and when used would sound an alarm. causes safety hazards, as well as would have meant little to the The future of these programs depends on fund- inconvenience. More importantly, freshly accepted first year stu- ing from the Ministry of Colleges and Universities. there is the simple anxiety and dent, who eagerly opened their Women will soon be able to breathe a little Around $20 000 has been allocated for WLU for disappointment at the thought of residence envelope only to be as- easier when walking on and off campus thanks to the creation of women's security programs. Accep- being left out of the residence at- saulted by the dreaded words, The Committee For Action Against Assault. tance will be known by February. mosphere, regardless of the "...your application was not The CFAAA has several projects in the works There are two styles of personal alarms avail- pluses and minuses of both situa- among those offered a space in in addition to the ones that are currently in place. able at WLU. A siren device tions. residence." type which can be The CFAAA members include: The Women's Cen- carried on one's person or attached to a door is So, what happened? Accord- I must have read those words ter, Campus Security, the Chaplain's Office, Dean available at the Info Booth. The Fox-40 security ing to Mike Belanger, head of a hundred times, still unbelieving. Nicols, Safety and Equality, as well as student rep- whistle is available from the bookstore. The Fox-40 housing at W.L.U., the After listening to the many resentatives. is approved by the CFAAA. phenomenon was unusual and to- Laurier presentations at my high WLUSU VP University Affairs, Jeff Bowden A women's self defense course is also being tally unexpected, with school, year after and after more year, sits on the committee. According to Bowden the considered. details than the students are reading the tidal wave of literary CFAAA concentrates on two areas. First is aware- A Group Walk home usually exposed to. information on Laurier. "Vir- program was tried last ness education and secondly protective measures. week. Only a few people First of all, as most of us have tually every first year student used the program. Bow- Proposed programs include a Walk Home Ser- den's view on the program was that only noticed, enrollment for Laurier who wants to live in residence if one per- vice and the installation of emergency phones. son used the program then it would be worthwhile. was up this year. Administration will now be able to be accom- The Walk Home Service would involve paid Bowden stressed that CFAAA admitted 180 more students than modated." A student would prob- the is concerned employees who would be linked by telephone and with Laurier's image and to see was projected, to raise the frosh ably be more certain of the pros- would like sexual radio. It would encompass as much area as one assaults stopped by programs total to 1670. Although 180 is not pects ofreceiving residence, than awareness rather than would desire to walk. physical a huge number, at a small univer- of receiving acceptance to methods. The emergency phone system would be similar As for the proposed programs, as sity like Wilfrid Laurier it makes Laurier. As one of the first year usual, it is a to the one at The University of Guelph. Phones wait and see situation. a difference. students put it,"I felt I was Now don't start getting upset, promised residence and when I 0$IS® ®)Ss]Qjfe enerations' ";#i HOME OF THE You Can Shop for All Of Your SUB ™feb ENVIRONMENTAL PRODUCTS WITHOUT THE PACKAGING RESULTING IN LOWER PRICES 363 King St. N. Waterloo 888-0203 Bring your own containers ( or use one of ours) Corner of King & Columbia (Across from Mc Donalds) and fill up with : •Soap Flakes TAKE-OUT SPECIAL [ DELIVERY/TAKE-OUT •Dish and Laundry Detergents $X LARGE •Cleaning Products 99 \ | FOR MEDIUM CHARGE •Personal Care Products Bring in this ad v MEDIUM Order any large pizza and •Energy Saving Light Bulbs A get lf medium price. FRFF r PEPPERONI PIZZA I Limited delivery areo. Delivery service where applicable. Offer not & ,[ •Spring1 0 Distilled Water V A Offer not valid in combination with any other ■ valid in combination with any other offer, u with any purchaseh \ offer. Offer valid at participating Pizza Hut® | Offer valid at participating Pizza Hut® restaurants until December 31, 1991. One - 01773 restaurants until December 31, 1991. One •Recycled Paper A 1 Litre of Dish Detergent A dt coupon per party per visit. Take-Out only. I 11 coupon per party per visit. ■ ■Ill®™ COUPON REQUIRED CODE 13 1 TlUl®~ COUPON REQUIRED CODE 5 1 —— 105 Lexington Rd., SlKg ofLaundry Detergent I * * » aH/ JH y Amj t i p 112 m W Waterloo ** » imTSQQ ■ - * • 112 725-2986 * • / - 667 KING STREET WEST *KITCHEIIIER*S7I-gO3Z •WEDftIESOAVS S TIURDAYS BPM TIL ZAM*FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS BPM TIL 3AM Sons redefine Freedom by Chris Skalkos ly made a strong impression be- party?" James Jerome Kingston, factor as he was constantly Cord Entertainment fore their presence was even the lead vocalist asked the drowned out by the instruments known. audience after receiving a meager which were way too loud. applause after the tune. Their song structure seemed "If you guys want to do your On one of their amplifiers the LICK, chaotic and lacked a natural prog- drugs now, maybe have words KICK-CRAWL, "There is a lot of room up we can a ression. However, this is probably party." SUCK, F(rhymes with truck), front" Kingston hinted to the con- the style they are trying to pro- With this opening address to BEG, SCREAM were clearly servative crowd that he would crying out atten- ject their audience, The Sons of Free- visible and for like to see more people on the tion. At this point un- In general this tight and dom kicked off their one hour set someone dance floor other than the two familiar with this group would energetic punk-thrash outfit at Phil's Grandson's Place Mon- slam-dancers violently bouncing to quench thirst, defies categorization. day night stay their curious themselves off each other. leave fear of their physical "I wouldn't say we're a thrash This four piece alternative- or in Averaging a minute and a half band" said Kingston who claims rock band from Vancouver was a well-being. per song their music is character- that the band's influences range long way from home promoting The Sons of Freedom began ized by sustained chords and from The Beatles to The Sex their new LP GUMP for a hand- their performance with a whining simple guitar rifts held together Pistols. "We're a hard rock group ful of music industry people and high-pitched intro, that sounded by a driving rhythm and solid usual dark leather-clad very much like a heated debate base playing. Kingston's unique he said." the Well, what did the audience for between two dolphins, before vocal ability is best described as a patrons that Phil's is notorious them? attracting. erupting into an up-tempo tune cross between the vocalist from think of "These guys scare said First impressions are impor- called "I Don't Care Anymore" a Faith No More and Axl 'I didn't me" pessimistic anti-establishment one patron. tant to win over an audience for a start the riot' Rose. band that plays unfamiliar number. In other words he was off-key originals and these guys definite- "Is this a morgue, a wake or a but that didn't seem to be a major CONTINUED ON PAGE 18 Into the Woods and on to broadway by Niki Westman Cord Entertainment Third year honours business orientation was held in the Reci- tal Hall in the Aird building this year. It was an enlightening yet in- quisitive experience for most of us as, being our first time in this the scene corner of the school, we wondered exactly what the theatre was used for. As we sat back in our seats in the impressive, formal meeting hall, with food and drink in hands and our dirty shoes resting up on the seat ahead of us, we heard many excited comments such as, "Hey, I wonder what this place is used for?"... "Like maybe they have plays in here"... "Yeah, you know, I bet there might be some talented stu- dents at this school!" Well you know what future corporate executives of the world? We have a music program at this school! A place where students ac- tually come to study music, play an instrument or even sing « and want to make a career out of this. And you know what else? Some very talented students got together in 1985 and formed a group called Musical Theatre Laurier. This year's group rehearsed over the sum- mer and came up their latest offering: a re-creation of the Broadway musical "Into the Woods". Performed by senior students and alumni of Laurier's Faculty of Music, Musical Theatre Laurier presented their production of Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine's 1988 Tony Award winning "Into the Woods" was not performed the Recital Hall but musical "Into the Woods" last Thursday, Friday and Saturday even- in in the Theatre Auditorium, and the stage set-up just as impressive ings. This 'tragicomedy' musical was produced under the musical was as a biz person's first exposure to the Recital Hall. The tiered seats direction of Leslie De'Ath, faculty member at WLU and frequent surrounded centre stage, the floor, on all three sides with the or- soloist with the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony Orchestra, and the chestra pit and the raised stage on the fourth side. stage direction of Leslie O'Dell, an associate professor at WLU who teaches acting, directing, dramatic literature, and acting for singers. CONTINUED ON PAGE 16 THE CORD THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26. X99 1 14 SCENE being trapped in an elevator byBOURBONSJames Neilson after five minutes when the tured better than Cord Entertainment power came back on. It was time to take to the stairs and make it to Early one evening I was faced Kitchener. with a dilemna of sorts. The Stages has changed for the Bourbon Tabernacle Choir was better this year. The leopard skin playing Stages in Kitchener and I walls are gone and the waitresses was really looking forward to aren't wearing fishnet stockings seeing the eight piece band who and micro-skirts anymore. Have is advertised as "unparalleled faith gentle reader, you can still rhythm and blues." clear out half the bar by yelling, Unfortunately, it didn't look "Hey your Camaro's on fire." and like I was going to make it. I was nobody's ever going to take away trapped in an elevator on the sixth the fog machine and emerald floor of an apartment building in green lasers. There were more Guelph because the power had than enough visual snacks to keep gone out. It was dark, smelly and the most burned out deadhead scary but sorta-kinda romantic if fixated on the "groovy lights you know that a nod's as good as man" for hours on end. a wink to a blind bat. Lead vocalists Dave Wall and Oh say no more. Could've, Kate Fenner rose above the lasers should've would've been a whole for excitement though. Wall sings lot of fun. Think of the pos- the blues with the intensity of a sibilities. It might even be worth southern Baptist preacher. fleecing the flock with fire and tars. True professionals that they popularity. Had you ever heard of missing the Bourbons. Oh well, Honestly, this man could become brimstone sermons. What with are, the rest of the Choir kept Bonnaitt up until two years ago? fleeting little fantasy frac- a televangelist live very well that and his sudden lack of hair Dave chugging through with drum Stop children, what's that looks a lot more respectable now. solos and that eternally groovy sound on the Budweiser commer- That is, except for the nose ring Hammond organ. cial? Slide guitar? OOOhhh! It and tattoo that he's just acquired. I just keep waiting for the could happen. There's been a Kate Fenner. No words de- next major revival of rhythm and whole lot of blues riffs sneaking scribe her. Go see her live. Listen blues. If or when it comes the into beer ads these days. James to her sing. There's some power- Bourbons might get a chance to Brown is free isn't he? Will the ful soul in her lungs. A power play someplace bigger. Messiah come to spread the something fierce. If any com- Wouldn't it be great someday Bourbons message of peace, love, parison comes close it has to be to see Put Your Head on Your Hammond organs and brass to the with Aretha Franklin. Shoulders on a K-Tel album right rest of the world? Oh please let it During the show the Bour- next to Bonnie Raitt and happen. Just make sure I'm not bons had a few minor accidents. Gerardo? The stage is set for an- trapped in an elevator when it Strings just kept flying off gui- other upswing in this music's does! Ne Pi' %' >• v. frViTn^^ ACCKWA PROUDLY PRESENTS An Intimate Evening With HOLLY NEAR With John Bucchino, pianist RECESSION PRICES Domestic Bottled Beer $1.75 + Tax * Sunday October 6 Every day until 9:00 pm and Humanities Theatre Monday and Wednesday nights University of Waterloo 8:00 p.m. Tickets > 18.00 Call 885-4280 Sponsored By the Wheel of Fortune Night! Brick Brewing Co. We Spin the Wheel and HOLLY NEAR LECTURE that's the price of BEER "Unity In our Challenge Against Aids" Sunday Oct. 6 3:30 p.m. that night. Great Prices! Davis Building Rm. 1350 University ofWaterloo Admission: FREE All at Phils Grandson's Place Sponsored by: ACCKWA Aids Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener KING ST and Area 220 N. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1991 THE CORD SCENE 15 My life as a Deadhead by Jeff Heywood sane, I had no trouble (after a few "Where's the red one" Jimmy pork sausages as the strains of minating the thousands of spin- Cord Entertainment minutes of concentration and the Stewart blurted as the giant duelling banjos penetrated his ning smarties, Mr. Stewart drifted help of a few kindly friends) smarties box hurtled through ears. Mr. Stewart looked up and off, convinced that his questions Somewhere Bilbo Baggins figuring out what I was doing in a space. His question went un- decided right away that Big A 1 had been answered. bizarre place like Richfield Ohio. as Levey, as a drifted, a bud in his hatband and a heeded Anton author of the security guard would be no The smarties smiled help as Big to a black t-shirt that answered to beer in his left hand, looking for A 1 was secured nothing in particular. rope, swinging from the rafters, Jerry and several other skeletons Somewhere Tony the crazed "old guy, grey hair, be11y..." six-guns blazing. rattled as they washed onto stage. Mexican, handed out doses to any Anton flicked on the cruise con- Well at this point Anton cut circus goers, asking for nothing trol and the smarties box dipped, the interior lights and hit the ac- but some money for a community Richfield, a city whose main the satanic bible and man behind rolled and kicked through the celerator, eerie glow of keg of beer. claims to fame seem to be a GM the controls, sometimes effort- only the weirdest reaches of space and the grill lit Somewhere an improvisa- plant, and a huge cement rec- lessly, sometimes laboriously, Jimmy Dean's spattering farthest reaches of reality. God tionally religious soup kitchen tangle surrounded by a sea of directed this monstrosity through the cavernous smarties box. As bless America. God bless this illu- was opening for another three day asphalt called the Coliseum. Yes, the far reaches of space. "Have the giant floating stage lit up, ship of fools. stand, asking for nothing but a I had once again adventured to you seen an old guy, grey hair, bit I helping hand. Somewhere such a strange locale for the of a belly, black t-shirt, answers amongst the thousands we found music of the Grateful Dead. With to the name of Jerry? He knows our camping spot. The circus had this highly directional insight, I where the red one is." But Jimmy begun again and everyone had headed inside to see the show. Dean was no help to Mr. Stewart. front row seats. Once inside things got weird. Mr. Dean was too busy frying Richfield Ohio may not have if ay.M known exactly who the Grateful Dead were, but there was no —N doubt that they had come to town. Sheriff Bob and his beer guzzling cronies, were licking their chop at B the numerous possibilities for showcase busts. Busts that would, % »581t.* with any luck and just a dash of 0 P TICAL SHOP P E > :MKM|lg3^l^pB||Bi|Mrtffliß^glf faulty perception, put Richfield's finest on the map. Over at Bob Evans the projected sales for breakfast surpassed the wildest of a restaurant managers dreams. L just doesn't matter if you don't know of the Dead - when they come to your town you can get a B&NJijBWp J||l| ... Jm IIH piece of them for whatever pur- pose. Those damned long hairs, and not so long hairs, most of whom SPECIAL had travelled many long harassed miles, asked for nothing more than what the Dead had been • Fashion Eye Wear • Eyewear Repairs • delivering for twenty-six years - Contact Lenses • Student Discounts a music. Music which developed Appointment Not Always Necessary, Walk Ins Welcome to scene support it. Music that Mon-Thurs 10am-6pm, Fri 10am-Bpm, Sat 9:30 am-3pm OPEN: • causes normally sane people to KITCHENER - WATERLOO OKTOBERFEST OCT. IM9,'9i 264 KING (AT water) a or hit the highway, m W. KITCHENER hop in car, FESTHALLEN TICKETS • FESTIVAL INFORMATION and make their way over thou- MOLSON LOGO MERCHANDISE • FESTIVAL SOUVENIRS sands of miles, to see a bunch of VISIT US AT 17 BENTON STREET (NEXTTO THE VALHALLA INN) middle-aged men play tunes. OR CALL ( 519 ) 576-0571 FAX ( 519 ) 742-3072 Considering myself normally Every Sunday At 1 1/2 P J UfSer & I Purchase F^esa beverage University I spm - Midnight | THE CORD THtJRSDAY. SEPTEMBER 2<5. lS>c>T 16 SCENE Wishes come true in the woods CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 lived happily ever after" world of because she had mysteriously dis- sins or acts of senseless violence, enced a loss of someone fairy tales good conquers appeared at the festival, whom The floor was painted in multi- where the other half the cast dies. Most of the they loved. In the end the evil; where grandmother because she was trapped up in the only coloured swirls and big, green and deaths are the result of the giant's remaining characters were Little plastic leaves hung from the ceil- Little Red Riding Hood escape castle and he can't find a way to giant wife stepping on the little Red Riding Hood, the baker, his ing above. The trees were up to the wolf s tummy after the baker rescue her. John Watson is per- people out of revenge at the death newborn, Cinderella and carves him up to get red cape Jack the audience's imagination. the fectly cast in his role as the hand- of her husband who fell from the Realizing the need for, and im- that he needs to give On the raised stage was a lad- the wicked some, confident, charming, beanstalk in pursuit of Jack. The portance of love and support, so the der leading up to a gigantic straw witch that she can lift a spell of "Thank-you, I can catch my own happy, humorous musical turns characters bonded together barrenness from his wife. Okay, to wreath. Next to this was a tall, damsel!" prince, vying for into a sombre, desperate struggle form a new family. And they all spiralling wire mesh, resembling so it's not exactly your tradi- Cinderella's affections. Neill to survive. lived happily ever after. tional, easy to follow fairy tale, a cyclone making its way up into Kemohan, as Rapunzel's prince, Even though the young ones To all those students who the stage ceiling. This was later but it makes for hilarious enter- plays his part fittingly as the sin- in the audience got a little restless have never attended production tainment. a discovered to be a tree that had cere and determined lover. during part two of the play due to put on by WLU's Music Faculty magically sprouted from the tears Playing the part of the witch, In the second part of "Into the the depressing content and or its associates, show some ap- of a daughter in mourning on her Marne Goodyear gives a stunning Woods" the characters learn that mournful songs, the acting and preciation, open your minds, ac- mother's grave. performance sending chills up their wishes aren't granted singing performances remained quire some culture, forget the The play combines all our spines, not only from her terrify- without paying a price; this is strong and the plot gave new Turret for one night and you will favourite fairy tales, from ing appearance but from her ex- when the tragedy comes into meaning to the standard fairy tale. realize that this school actually Cinderella to Little Red Riding cellent vocal ability as well. The play. As a result of greed, vanity, Feelings of guilt, grievance and does have some very talented stu- Hood to Jack and the Beanstalk, witch serves to integrate the fairy adultery, remorse, unwillingness lost hope overwhelmed the dents who put on amazing shows into one entertaining and often tales by appearing throughout the to accept blame and various other characters as each one experi- that you can't afford to miss. confusing story about different play, requesting several items characters going into the woods from different characters such as to get their wish granted. a red cloak, golden hair, a shoe of Cinderella goes into the Petty a gold and a cow white as milk. still heartbreaker woods to ask at her mother's These items are the ingredients by Dave Marcus "Waiting", "Breakdown", and a stirring resurrection grave for her wish to go to the necessary to undo the spell of in- Cord Entertainment of Petty's top hat for "Don't Come Around Here festival; Little Red Riding Hood fertility that had been cast upon No More". goes the woods on her way into the baker and his wife. Maple Leaf Gardens It includes new songs like "Learnin' to Fly" and to grandmother's house; Jack A notable performance by Toronto "Into the Great Wide Open". It features emotive to the woods to sell his cow; goes Jack's cow, aided by two pup- Sept.22\9l guitar solos by a plainly clad, woolly haired man the baker and his wife go into the peteers, was well received by all, and lively honk-tonk solos by a shy keyboardist to collect the items re- woods causing shrills of laughter from The man enters the spot light unaccompanied by This world includes a magic dragon which quested by the witch order to in the audience as it pranced proud- lasers or flashy pink guitars. He graces the crowd emerges from an enormous old tree to deliver Petty to baby have their wish have a ly around the stage and demanded with a smile, and it is received as genuinely as it his harmonica. It includes laughter, dance and granted; tears. and Rapunzel doesn't get sympathy when it was about to be has been given. But mostly this enchanted world includes the to go into the woods because the sold. A few chords are strummed, everyone is invited audience, each member individually. Each person same witch, her mother, has her One of the highlights of the to sing along - and everyone does, prompted by feels a part of the magic, and each listener hopes trapped up in the castle/straw first act was the duet, "Agony", childish stage antics, and true-to-the-heart rock n' that this world of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers wreath as a protective measure performed by the two princes, roll. The audience has entered, for a couple of will never end, but inevitably it does. against the cruel world. Cinderella's and Rapunzel's. The hours, into the magical world of Tom Petty and the The crowd disperses, everyone secretly wishing The first part of the play is the pair agonize over the women Heartbreakers. that they could take some of the magic home with comedy, the traditional "and they who are out of their reach, one This timeless world includes old favourites like them. x—YOU'RE ON AT Karaoke Night —y Light , WEDNESDAY m Dai * y & 31 THURSDAY BMMjlm The Legend Continues... . . i J SEPTEMBER 26. 1991 THE CORD SCENE 17 The Holistic Detective's Guide to Douglas Adams Flashback by Mark The problem with Dirk Gently with a romance novel. Now, I Hand is that it's not Hitchhiker's. This, don't particularly like King, but a of course, is not really a problem. lot of people do, and there'd be Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Its lack of similarity to the hell to pay in Maine if he ever Agency Hitchhiker book was, admittedly, wrote anything other than the Dirt Gently s The Long Dark TecUime ofthe Soul a problem for me when it first crap he usually cranks out every - Douglas Adams, the by author came out - that's the reason I month. of the Hitchhiker's Guide to didn't the Galaxy like it and was so pissed A few years later, I was bored -- Holistic Defective Agency off but that was only because I so I picked it up again, read it, I remember when the first was stupid. and realized that the damn thing's Dirk Gently book came out I was See, Douglas Adams' probably better than Hitchhiker's. righteously pissed off. had Hitchhiker's series is Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective I my Douglas Adams is not what I overpower the male characters. waited years for Douglas Adams favourite thing ever written. So, Agency is certainly more mature would call a sophisticated writer. This isn't really bad, I suppose, to write something new, like your ignorant con- than Hitchhiker's, better written, having average His method of writing goes some- since the mixture works. It proba- read and reread Hitchhiker's sumer I foolishly expected at least as funny, and it really the thing like this: he sits down at his bly has a lot to do with the fact to the Galaxy too schlock from pissed me off that I'd spent so Guide many same Adams word processor and stares at the that Adams isn't really a writer. many times, and the bastard came forever. The effect of writing much time not liking what was him screen a bit. He writes a little, and It's just one of the many things out with Dirk Gently's Holistic something new and different was clearly an excellent book. then erases it. He gets up and he's tried in his life and it hap- Agency. like Stephen I suppose this is the time for Detective King coming out sandwich. He comes pened to work for him so he the obligatory plot synopsis: Dirk makes a back, and erases a keeps doing it to pay the bills. Gently is a holistic detective, that stares, types, bit. he goes to take bath. Since the Gently books is, he is a detective who believes Then a writes a bit more, Douglas Adams has done a few Return of the Wars in the fundamental inter- He comes back, et with different things, including a book connectedness of things and uses cetera, until he comes up with a nature photographer called by Bell this premise to solve his cases, something that will keep his James Last Chance to See which pro- Cord Entertainment not bothering to get caught up in editor off his back. He clearly files a number of soon-to-be- trivial things like clues. From does not do a lot of planning, and extinct members of the animal there, the plot gets a little confus- the story just flows out of the mo- Almost 15 years ago, George Lucas made movie history by world. It's also excellent, com- releasing the first Star Wars film. Still the third highest grossing ing so I'd best just leave it at that. ment. So would someone please so bining true sensitivity with a wry (quite considering only $3.50 Maybe I should just erase this explain why his stuff is damn movie of all time a feat movies cost wit in a way that only Adams then), by two paragraph a good? back Star Wars was followed sequels also placing in the and have sandwich. could. top ten. This makes them the most popular film series of all time, Maybe I should go on to the next His characters lack a certain - My advice: go to a bookstore spawning all sorts of cartoons, to book. variety this holds true for the toys, comics, and novels. Enough and look for anything written by a man. Sometime Hitchhiker material as well as the make Lucas rich between the time Douglas Adams. Buy it. Read it Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Gently stuff. Dirk Gently is basi- And recently he announced that pre-production on the next trilogy over and over. Agency was released and now, cally a mixture of Zaphod has officially begun. It's almost better than sex. The Long Dark Teatime the Beeblebrox and Ford Prefect, Reg The Star Wars series was planned to be three sets of three movies, of Flashback is a rotating column in Soul out. By then, is a Slartibartfast clone, with Star Wars: a New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return came I had and which the writer on a book, repented original dislike for Arthur Dent pops up in several focuses of the Jedi comprising the middle trilogy. Now Lucas has announced my movie or recording from some the development of the prequel to the popular adventures of Luke, the Gently character, and different characters. His female bygone age and tries to convince you Leia, Han and Chewie. thoroughly enjoyed the book. It characters are pretty much all the that it still has some relevance. Sub- Originally it was planned to have about 20 years pass between the was arguably better than its older same: independent, tough, in- missions are received with open trilogies, with the only constant characters being the two comic-relief printed siblings. telligent, and they all tend to arms. droids R2-D2 and C-3PO. That was the plan, anyway. A few years ago, the script for the third movie of the first trilogy was published. Bearing the title Star Wars III: the Fall of the Senate, it chronicled the destruction of the Jedi Knights, the adventures of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the rise of the power-mad Emperor Palpatine. Only the third script (of the first series) was released because the others were said to be just too boring - mostly history leading up to the foundation of the Empire. It seems they've changed their minds. The last trilogy is currently being written by Sci-fi author Timothy Zahn, officially by Lucasfilm Star INCLUDED and endorsed Limited. TAX Wars VII: Heir to the Empire is already available for purchase in most bookstores. This series takes place only five years after Jedi and continues the story of all the major characters: Luke, Han, Princess Leia and the rest. first trilogy left to FEE! finished, will be NO When the novels are only the DELIVERY tell. Lucas has already hired the effects crew from Terminator 2, so the gears are already set in motion. All we can do now is wait. Hope- fully it won't be a long, long time... 2 Small (K. Topley Copy Centre Pizzas 150 University Avenue West, Waterloo N2L 3E4 746-2679 (Don Cherry Plaza) Waterloo's newest copy shop invites you to view the premises. Full/Self-Service Xerox Canon Colour Copier $Q. Desktop Publishing 99 BOWES OCT 31/91 ($4.04 SAVINGS) two great pizzas! f;m One low price. Always Always. ©1988 Little Caesars Enterprises, Inc. Offer good ONLY with this coupon only I Delivery from 4:00 pm daily Excludes extra cheese. Not valid with any other promotion or discount PHONE 883-5050 THE CORD THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 26, 1991 18 SCENE This Partridge takes a dive The band took the fans down Customs had kept him in the his life as a has-been which he Different Strokes star Dana Plato. Steve Hodgson by memory lane with "Doesn't States, they would have done us has written about in a recent arti- Although the concert was not Cord Entertainment Somebody Want To Be Loved", all a favour. The short red-head cle for Esquire Magazine. a Partridge Family reunion, David Cassidy is desperately "Woke Up In Love This Morn- was recently charged with beating Bonaduce's pot-shots at his maybe someday when the careers trying to shed his teen idol image. ing" and the highlight of the up a transvestite prostitute and former Partridge Family co-stars of other former Partridge's take a If his concert at Lulu's on Satur- night, "I Think I Love You". sentenced to 750 hours of com- were unnecessarily insulting. He dive, we'll be able to see the day night was any indication, he's The former boob-tube heart- munity service. also took jabs at TV talk show whole, happy clan lip-synching gota long way to go. throb also did some of his own His rude act mostly dealt with host Geraldo Riviera and former again. Pretty boy Cassidy, who tunes including "Common Thief, played Keith Partridge on the ear- "Cherish and Lyin' To Myself'. ly '70s TV sitcom The Partridge The huge audience showed Family, proved to an enthusiastic their appreciation by throwing star past may roses on stage and Cassidy even Sons of Canada crowd that his pop one under their belt, haunt him forever. held up a pair of panties he CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 articulated WLU student." The Sons Of Although the former poster received from an admirer. "They're tidy" noted an obser- Freedom are venturing forth from vant fan. town pinup is content with burying his Opening for Cassidy's only "They have unbelievably their home in Vancouver old image, it's difficult not to re- Canadian date was former TV simple lyrics replied another. WHAT!? where they have established a member that wholesome face brother Danny Bonaduce. "I think the bass player is "They have nice haircuts" he large following to criss-cross the adorning lunchboxes, bubblegum Bonaduce, who played Danny cute" an eye-lash batting female said. country and "milk our record for cards and magazine covers. Partridge, got the evening started photographer said. "We're not a shock-rock all we can get." The boyish 41-year old, hair with a disappointing attempt at "It was indecent of them to band" the group commented after Say what you will about their and teeth intact, dug out the old stand-up comedy. think their music is so good for the show. "We are about growth, questionable attitude this band is standard Keith Partridge gestures He had some problems getting them to subject the audience to an artistically and psychologically, brutally honest in expressing their and poses. across the border and if Canada unbearable level of audible pain" even though none of us have opinions. studied Freud." Kingston believes that the "Most of our lyrics tend to be music industry in Ontario and the MUSIC metaphorical" insists Kingston. East Coast is a "total crap shoot" Notes To exemplify this remark he and new bands have a "better by Chris SKalKos explains a lyric from a song: chance for success in the West Coast" The love you had was a poison "There is something magical *** 1962 *** CBS Records released Bob Dylan's self- 1982 Making his debut in San Francisco as a And every poison has a cure. about producing music while iso- titled debut album. A total of 13 folk and blues solo performer, Billy Idol has been described as "an lated in between the mountains tracks were premiered with just his own guitar ac- all American glam rock fantasy." "Its a song about drug abuse" and the ocean. Bands are more companiment. he said, "talking about needles appreciated there. I think its be- STAR QUOTE and heroine is an easy metaphor." cause people out west do more 1972 *** Alice Cooper's hit "School's Out" has be- "I wouldn't be one to say no drugs" he said. come the biggest selling record in the history of "I lost my virginity to a pillow. The very first to drugs" the blonde shaggy- In Canada "the only way to Warner Brothers Records. The album was recorded orgasm I ever had was with a pillow. Honest! I haired crooner said. make it is to gear towards the in his own 16-track mobile, parked in the grounds wish I still had that pillow case." With a second LP just mainstream...and we are definite- of a 40-room Connecticut mansion. - Alice Cooper on losing his virginity released and a couple of videos ly not mainstream" he said. Ministry of Ontario Student ($J SnITsLT Assistance r-» l ll gl CORPS Vi Program 1991-1992 CORPORATION 'Mtoofinfr Kjf om business Jwmulit See your Financial Aid for 1992 are filling up quiclcly. Were AdministratorfordBlails' — 1 looking for students here at WLU who Vj. : want the experience of running their * ' own us ness •• now! ' - : Coins see ss Sopts.nb 19 at the CAREER FAIR. * 23 Golf Course Road For more information call Shown at C ;:S : 576-0742 or 1-800-38M799 I I II- XHtXRSDAY * SEPTEMBER 26. 1991 CORD FEATURE 19 JoinClub the Photos By Stacey Doyle complied by: Ward Black musical interests. This includes both experienced and in- The Letterman's Club experienced musicians. Every year the Network sponsors Well, the school year has started once again and you are several social events such as Battle of the Bands and the The Letterman's Club is open to male varsity athletes. probably wondering what to do with all that spare time you Freedom Concert. Last year they also put together the first To become a member of this club one should attend the have. For those of you who find that it gets rather boring campus home grown album. The Musicians' Network is next general meeting at sitting around your apartment you might want to consider which will be announced a later for everyone who plays an instrument or sings. The The runs checking out a few of Laurier's clubs. In case you hadn't date. Letterman's Club activities such as the Musicians' Network also works with all types of music. Post-Game Parties which by held Saturday they have been in the concourse all week. Take the will Sept. 28th, noticed Sat. Oct. 19th, and Sat. Nov. 2nd, and events as The Sociology Club stop by and check it out. There are now close to fif- such time to Hawktoberfest. ty clubs on campus. Although we aren't going to feature The Sociology Club wants you! Take this chance to all of them here this week (because some of them couldn't get Le Club Francais Et Espanol involved, meet your professors, and join in the festivities be bothered telling me what they were all about), you can of social events. The Sociology club also run a variety of track them down through the mail boxes located in the This club is open to everyone and speaking French or fund raising Campaigns which allow for a flexible time campus clubs room near the games room in the S.U.B. Spanish is not considered a requirement. If you wish to commitment and the opportunity to get involved in your meet some great people and have a lot of fun, as well as community. They welcome all new members. There is a Laurier Environmentalist Club practice your French and Spanish, then this club is for you. General meeting Wednesday October 2, 5:30 pm in room The first meeting is a cheese party with the appropriate 4-205. / beverage. It will be held in the Faculty Lounge on October the preservation of your planet is as important to you If 2nd at 7:00 pm. For more information contact Robert as it is to Mike Salo then you might want to consider join- Saunders at 742-3156. Adult/Mature Students Association ing the Environmentalist Club. This dynamic organization dedicated itself to raising environmental has awareness on This club is for those people wishing to associate with campus. The club will be focusing on the areas that it feels the older students in the Laurier community. If you are need attention and will be supplying guest speakers on var- looking to get together with students that are older and environmental issues. you would like more ious If in- have returned to school after a stint in the working world, formation on how to get involved with this organization or students that have been here for ever, then this is the attend the first official meeting on October then Tuesday 1. place to go. The Association is an academic as well as so- It will be in room 4-205 from 5:30 to 7:00. cial support group for returning students. A variety of so- The Off-Cam Club The Waterbuffaloes Laurier Christian Fellowship Best known as LCF, the group meets every Wednesday night from 5:30-7:00 at the Turret. These meetings are open to all, including those interested in investigating The Science Fiction Club! Christianity and those students seeking a fellowship group The Bacchus Bunch of believers. Guest speakers, drama, music, and worship claTactivities are"planned throughoutlfie": earTo allow you WLU Entrepreneurs' Club times provide the focus at most meetings. LCF also offers to interact with fellow mature students. The Association opportunity to become involved in smaller Bible study also gets involved with issues that we feel pertinent to ma- This club is for all you up and coming business people groups, intramural sports teams, and annual campus events ture students. One such issue is daycare. Come out and who want tips on how to do it right. One of the clubs main such as Bananarama and Cafe Laurier. Check the bulletin join in the fun. For more information cr.eck the bulletin objectives for this year is to provide high quality business boards for more information or contact LCF president Dur- boards or contact Ward Black at 745-0215. The first meet- speakers to the Laurier community. David Mclurg, the win Gray at 725-8810. ing will be held Wednesday October 2nd at 4:30 pm in the London area manager for Dale Carnegie, and Lom Austin, Niobe Lounge. Come out and join the fun. Director of Pizza Pizza are just two of the speakers that Laurier Equestrian Club have been planned for this year. So get involved. You'll be Progressive Conservative Club glad you did. For more information see the booth in the For all you horse enthusiasts this is the club for you. concourse this week or contact Steve Brown at 725-0079. You don't need a horse (but don't think they are going to give you one to keep either), and you don't need to know Conventions, parties, policy meetings, information United Nations Association how to ride. The club will be offering special events for booths, debates, more parties and more parties. Who ever anyone to attend such as a trip to the Royal Winter Fair, said politics were boring? The P.C. Youth are out in force This organization is concerned with the understanding lessons, trail rides, and horse shows. There will also be on campus and they want you to become a part of it. The of world politics. Through simulations of United Nations guest speakers for those who want to learn more about dif- P.C.'s will be holding food drives for local food banks and they ex- Assemblies, conducted around North America, ferent types of horseback riding. plans are in the works for a diabetes fund raiser. Also lots plore the inter-relations of countries political and social of parties are planned. The policy meetings will be kept ideologies. This activity is open to students of any faculty. Musicians' Network fairly informal and usually find there way to one of the lo- Other activities conducted by the United Nations Associa- cal eating establishments. All members have an op- tion are monthly guest speakers and also a half hour time The Musicians' Network is designed to bring the portunity to become involved with committees and in- slot on CKWR. If you are interested in getting involved Musicians of Laurier together in an organized setting formation booths. Check out the bulletin board in the con- with these activities attend the first meeting on October which will facilitate the creation of an active music scene course for upcoming events and be a part of the 2nd, contact Rebecca at 747-2453 or Jason at 746-1423. on campus. The Network is designed for everyone who has momentum. SEP x 20 THE CORD THURSDAY. ±±MBER 26, 199^' \jNfON 3rd floor, Student Union Building W 884-1360 1 PRESTON MANNING (Leader of tLe Reform Party) Speaking in tlie TURRET TlRiirsclLay Oct, 5f(J. ami ——— I ——. ffl Brouiglit to youi Ly tike WLU Students' Union Thanksgiving Food Drive Help those without. Drop off canned food in the Students' Vacancy on the Board of Directors Get involved with the Students' Union and run! Nominations Customer Service close Friday Sept. 27 at 4:3opm. program More info available in the Have a complaint? o+. ICome up to the Students' Students union Offices. Union offices and talk. THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 26, 1991 THE CORD COMMENT 21 Visions of youth snowbank, and taking on all com- iie noiTe gets to be too over- don't eat sitting out on the back ers, flipping guys over the edge whelming and the homework gets porch, I'm going to throw around of the hill, and getting smashed in to be too much and the rent is due my yard at my friends, trying to the back of the head and tumbling but I'm suffering from a relive my childhood, yet again. ten feet down to the bottom? Or headache -- someday soon in Sometimes, there's nothing the time you took your brother's other words — I've already de- better... METROPOLIS favourite toys and wrapped them cided what I'm going to do: I'm Metropolis is the column of the dis- BY FISHER SHEFFIELD up and gave them to him as his not going to have a nervous tressed young man we call Fisher Each week he takes another Christmas gift -- six months breakdown, I'm not going to quit Sheffield. bite out the urban apple - Some mornings when I The thing that struck me the later? Or you dug school, and I'm not going to get of espe- the time a hole cially the parts with all the worms. awaken, find it very hard to get drunk and try to forget all my I most about this kid was that I in- in the front yard and buried your The opinions he expresses are his up out of bed. It's not that my problems. stantly knew what he was carry- favourite toy capgun, and forgot own, and not necessarily those of the straps are too tight, but that the ing: crab apples. After all, it was next day, rest us. I myself do not like pillow all about it the and Instead, I'm going to walk of world outside my window has lunch hour, September is crab ap- fights, ever since I had one with my didn't remember it again until away from all my responsibilities, gotten too complicated. Whether ple season, and if I was a kid sister and she forgot she was hiding justright now?... take a short break, go out and raid it's the carpenters banging on my again, I'd be out there collecting jelly beans in her pillow case. That, Someday, eventually, when a crab apple tree...and what I roof as they build a fire escape up crab apples to throw at my however, is another story, to my loft, or the city engineers friends around the schoolyard. ripping up my front yard to install Oh, to be a kid again: remem- a new water main, or the Guns N' ber when you were nine years old Roses emanating from my room- and in the same bedroom as your Scenes from a mall mate's stereo, I don't know, but I kid brother and after your mother just can't take all the noise, and put you to bed you'd get up and By Kevin Watson nasty women, I spring back out into the crowd ( a feel like crawling back up under bend a thick stack of hockey little stunned) and head back for Ed's Records. my blankets and dying. cards in half, forming a sharp- Great! I've just placed myself behind that 257 -- As if there's anything to get edged arrow, and then fire them 2:15 p.m. SHOPPING year old lady from the bank along with twenty of up for: a two-hour queue to get in around the room with an elastic her senile friends. Not being stupid more than once the bathroom so that I can wet my band until you put your brother's Now that I have my money, it's time to shop. in one day (I'm trying to cut down), I decide to hair and slick it back (really only eye out? or pillow fights? pound- As I step out of the bank and into the mall, 1 am patiently waddle behind them. stop-gap measure until I can take ing the living snot out of the guy quickly swept up by a group of easterly moving I finally make it into the record shop, only to a proper shower at 6 o'clock, until you couldn't breathe be- shoppers who are busy colliding with westerly find I have to wait in line yet again. Fortunately the after class); and then a 20 minute cause you were laughing so hard, moving shoppers. ten people in front of me only have one or two pur- walk to school so I can go and sit and then you'd pretend you were There is nothing more utterly chaotic than chases. This line should go quick. in a crowded classroom and listen going to go to sleep, so he'd let people walking in a mall. I think a series of one- Not a chance. to some guy talk about something down his guard and you'd be able way mall sidewalk signs should be erected with a Every single person just has to use their credit I don't really understand but have to pound him again? and remem- right hand passing lane available. At the very least, card. Obviously they can't scrape together, or count to study so I can go on and gradu- ber that Superman cape your a five million dollar government study should be out, their change to pay for that $2.99 bargain-bin ate and get a "real" job in the grandmother made you for your done on this. Until then, I guess I have to be content tape. To top it all it just happened to be we've- "real" world; and then if I'm birthday, and you ignored all the dodging, hurdling, and pole vaulting my way fired-our-old-staff-and-hired-a-totally-new- lucky, the bus driver will actually rest of your toys and wore it through the mall. incompetent-staff day. stop for me as I make my way around the house, until you This Saturday I seem to be caught in the middle Clothes, ya that's what I need now. Time to find home, where I have no food in eventually jumped down the stair- of an unusually swift current of shoppers. Hey, a men's clothing store. the refrigerator, but an exponen- case, and landed on your brother, there's a book store, maybe I'll just cut through the 5:58 p.m. - tially growing pile of dishes, using him to break your fall? crowd and see what's new. CLOSING TIME bills, and homework. Or what about snowball Hey, there goes the book store. And so I found myself the fights? just pounding your friends Reading is over-rated anyway. Besides, I'm fast After walking through the mall for over three other day, just after noon, walk- with snowball after snowball, approaching my first desired stop, Ed's Used and hours I could find no trace of a men's clothing ing along to school. I was making charging the snow forts they'd Unwanted Records (where records come to die). store. I did, however, find five thousand women's my way up to the university, spent all Saturday morning dig- Oh no! I only have 500 feet to attempt an clothing stores, two thousand shoe stores, five hun- when I passed a kid, probably ging out of the snowbank, kicking across-the-sidewalk-of-the-mall maneuver. Spotting dred book stores, one hundred record stores, fifty about ten or eleven years old, them down with a flying drop- a small crack in the wall of shoppers, I swerve to places to eat, five major department stores, and who had this huge bulge in the kick? Or king-of-the-hill? just the left. Philipe's Sassy Hair Soloon. front of his t-shin standing on the top of a huge My God! A runaway five year old at nine I guess I'll have to shop at the Bargain Hut o'clock sharp. again (and women wonder why men have no sense CEREBELLA by Ryan Feeley Smack! Great. There goes my trick knee (an in- of fashion). jury caused by a rather ugly encounter with a 400 "Attention shoppers, the mall is closing." pound five year old three years ago, and even after No way, it's only six o'clock! What kind of two years of intensive treatment I still wake up in a place is this, downtown Kitchener. cold sweat some mornings). Wait a minute. I'm the only one left. The collision has sent me careening off into Rather than exert myself sprinting to the door, I Linda's Lingerie three stores down. After being casually curl up on the nearest bench until I get ar- slugged and called a pervert by fifty rather large rested Monday morning. Sleeman's microbrews By Gordon Cooke Cream Ale: A highly carbonated, hoppy beer stronger than most Cana- Brews — Batch Two with flavour and bouquet Alternative dian ales. In the continuing quest to consume (and collect) Silver Creek Lager: Also highly hopped all of the different beers available in Ontario, this (flavouring and aroma), with more body than ex- week's review is on the Sleeman Brewing and pected. Malting Company Ltd. Stroh's and Stroh's Light: Both are In 1985, John Sleeman initiated the Sleeman brewed under license from the Stroh Brewing Co. Brewing & Malting Co. in Guelph. By utilizing 100 (which 19 per cent interest in year old family recipes, and drawing from a rich of Michigan holds Sleeman). They are typical light, American-style family brewing history that dates back to 1834, this lagers. brewery has set out to carve a niche in the huge Ontario market Toronto Light: A light lager that's brewed and Their original goal was to gain one per cent of marketed to appeal to upscale, U.S. beer drinkers. the provincial market, which would make them the largest microbrewery in Ontario. They have already Sleeman's has enjoyed tremendous success reached this goal, and now have expansion plans since its first sales in 1988. They have aggressive that include a second brewery. marketing plans that include further expansion, Their marketing approach is to produce high- radio advertising, and the continued use of its dis- quality, distinctive products that appeal to con- tinctive clear bottle- sumers looking for "something different". At pres- Recommendation: Sieeman's Cream Ale. ent, they offer five products: Next Time: Wellington County Brewery. 22 THE CX^RiS SATURDAY BEFORE A MIND BLOWING EVElm« MR I OPEN TILL A nil FOR THE FINE ART OF A AM •••VAII'LL VVU Ih PARTYING WANNA —^ GET WwlMllEa |MlCmhVisli^HMs|DIRTY BENEFIT PRESENT THURSDAY ■ ■ |^PHANTOJJSS|halToweennight ■ SPORTS Hawks fly highagainst Marauders secondary as he scored two key plays which turned into had little to offer. Linemen Rein- gram. However rest assured the By Chris Dodd touchdowns and generally Hawk majors. hart Keller and Hugh Lawson Hawk coaching staff is not stymied Mac defensive backs all The offence is almost at full seemed to dominate the line of satisfied and will burn the mid- Golden Hawk football is alive day. Stef on the other hand used capacity as it seems there are still scrimmage while Tim Bisci and night oil before Windsor rolls and well in 1991 as the Hawks his speed rather to his advantage a few minor quirks to work out the rest of the secondary kept the into town next Saturday for travelled to Hamilton Ontario to as he seemed as effective as Coach Zmich seems to have as- Marauders out of the will have to homecoming. Game time is two take on the upstart Marauders on Stucke when it came to burning sembled one of the most talented work on a few key areas in order o'clock as the Hawks put their their home turf. Mac had already the defence. offensive units in the country as to keep teams like Western and perfect record and first place posted one win against the Lan- One big concern for the the Toronto Star considers Toronto out of the end zone. standing on the line against the cers of Windsor and were looking Hawks was the loss of starting Sophomore Bill Kubas as a can- Overall the Hawks played a dangerous Lancer squad. It to make it two in a row against center Tom Highway. Highway is didate for the Hec Creighton solid game on both sides of the should be a great game as the for- the purple and gold of Laurier. an extremely important player an- Trophy. ball as it is hard to complain mer Hawk greats will fill the However it was evident from chor in the Hawks offence. The Hawk defence assembled about such a decisive victory over stands to watch their alma mater the opening kickoff that the It seems Highway went down a steady effort as the Mac offence a traditionally strong football pro- run their record to 3-0 and im- Marauders were no match for the early in the week with an ankle prove their national ranking. high octane Hawk offence as problem and was carried off the Laurier romped to an impressive field to the horror of Coach 37-14 drubbing of the anemic Zmich and Newbrough. However Marauders. the loss of Tom was not as key as The Hawks certainly did not it might have been against a expect to have such an easy time tougher team. The Hawk of- against the new look Mac squad fensive line held up relatively as all reports had indicated a well considering the loss of such much improved football squad. a key player. The rumour mill However Mac looked nothing of and the grape vine both say High- the sort as the Hawk offence way will be back in uniform next literally had its way, scoring at Saturday for the game versus will on the brutal Mac defence. Windsor. The offence was fuelled, as The Hawk running game was always by Bill Kubas and his two also effective on Saturday as the football undefeated outstanding receivers Brent running tandem of Andy Cecchini The team has an league record after this weekend's win at Stucke and Stefan Ptaszek. Stuke and Martin did a lot of damage in McMaster. This Saturday sees the Hawks play the Lancers at our newly aquired seemed to toy with the Mac terms of yards and set up several Seagram Stadium at 2pm. It's homecoming weekend, people, so everyone of you should be at this game. Game? What game? By Craig Burk On the night of September 23, 1991, the Leafs youth." he said and resumed his business. were scheduled to square off against the Quebec I then moved across to the Leafs dressing room. Nordiques in front of a standing-room only, capac- The crowd was larger than it was for the Nords but ity crowd at Kitchener's Memorial I managed to catch assistant Auditorium. 0 coach Mike Kitchen. It was to be an opportunity to move from full- He agreed to do a brief interview which actually time fan and part-time reporter to my first real turned out to be 15-20minutes long. The Rugby a well fought battle on the weekend. Hawks lose Leafs' reporting job. It would mean that the Leaf The first thing that he addressed was last week's Watch next week's Cord for a feature on the team. jersey would have to stay at home on this night, so blockbuster trade. In case you missed it, the Leafs that I could look more the part of a reasoning, ob- traded Vince Damphousse, Scott Thorton, Luke jective reporter seeking truth in a world knee deep Richardson, Peter Ing, plus future considerations to in cliches and retread sayings. the Edmonton Oilers for Grant Fuhr, Glenn Ander- loss It turns out tough I wasn't even on the special Craig in press Hawks look son and Berube. list which included the likes of Damien Cox and "We By addressed two needs with the trade; goal- Tony Hymers Dave Fuller, beat writers for the Toronto dailies. tending and toughness." The rugby Hawks posted their first loss of the young season, Despite my best efforts I couldn't weasel into the "Aren't you just replacing the toughness lost in losing 6-4 to the University of Toronto Blues last Saturday. crammed press box either. big Richardson?", I wondered. Albeit the loss was disappointing, as coach Wayne Lloyd aptly The game however did not start Not at 7:35 as "No, we needed a different kind of toughness, at stated after the game, the game was not a total disaster. Lloyd cited scheduled, nor at 8:00 as later promised, or 8:30, forward." he said. that the rugby match served as a learning experience for Laurier: 9:00, or 9:30 for that matter. By approximately "An enforcer?" I asked. "Now that these guys know the competition that they are up against 9:20, the game was cancelled due to a downed "Yes", he replied plainly. for the rest of the season, they will keep their heads in the game and transformer outside cutting off half the power. I then asked whether he thought the Leafs were play top-notch rugby." I decided however, to try and make something stronger to start this season than they were last Coach Lloyd was also satisfied by play of the forwards, who were of my long bus trip and made my way towards the year. He wisely evaded a direct answer and de- constantly placing pressure on opposing pack. The continual pressure Quebec dressing room, The dressing room area scribed the building of a winning team by compar- forced a number of University of Toronto blunders and eventually led was blocked by a barrier but I made it through the ing it to the construction of a house. to Laurier's only try on Saturday. crowd and got to the security guard. "You have to have foundations", be began, The play of the forwards, however, was not enough as Laurier lost "Can I talk to one of the coaches over there?" I "Grant Fuhr gives us that foundation. Now that the game on account of two penalties. If it were not for these asked pointing to Head Coach Dave Chambers, and means we can bring in some young defensemen and penalties, Laurier would have won the game since they dominated the his assistant Jacques Martin. a mistake won't wind up in the net" opposing team throughout the day forcing most of the play at "Who, those guys?" he said unknowingly and "By that you mean a rookie like Drake Toronto's end of the field. went over to ask. Berehowsky will start on defense." I stated. With the score 3-0 in Toronto's favour, Laurier received a penalty Dave Chambers then came over and asked, "So "It's too soon to say." he replied. for a late hit against the Toronto fullback. Although the referee's call what do you want to know?" Next I asked about the strength or weakness of was extremely questionable, the Blue's capitalized on this error and He said he believes the Nords "have progressed the Leafs down-the-middle at centre ice. I listed converted the penalty kick to make the score 6-0. This kick sealed the as a team." He did not think they were quite ready Peter Zezel, Mike Bullard and Brian Bradley as victory for Toronto as there was not enough time left in the game for yet and added "we need to add veterans and to that centres to which he added Mike Krushelnyski. the rugby Hawks to mount a successful comeback. Yet, the rugby end we acquired [Greg] Paslawski and [Doug] Hawks refused to give up and made the game extremely close by Smail." CONTINUED ON PAGE 26 scoring a try by Gareth Jones at the 85 minute mark. "The management has decided to go with (Unlit VOU COULD _ SPOT THE BE# & WIN AND REGULATIONS = ENTER; number of eligible entries Tfmf=^ x A O C? Ol IDIO HOW TO Locate and circle the Weekly prize will depend upon the jOIl IS Q Liaht Bear in the above illustration, received. *W1— 11' wwwJ LrUDILr I LJLJ I "^®MKKBPKalS^silrßlue |ete j- en( _ . . . . Com he py torm CorreC(|y answer the „ '3a u )hie nrrniprn testing question and tear out this entire page. 3. This contest is open to registered students o this 3=ie OAIV I Axon I ' " place § [.LAIXI P" WlljP" I ■ and deposit this page the ballot box located c.° e9 e (dependmg on the of entry-and WI"~' nil lIW in ""'V®'® I II will See below for ballot box location. eligibility) who are oi legal age in Ontario to purchase alcohol rmmmmi our campus. its JL pi lic •yr ccpniunAßV ppi7pc beverage products and are not an employee of Labatt s, | complete advertising liquor licensed is I See rules and regulations located at the ballot box and promotional agencies, I — MUST BE LEGAL AGE OF MAJORITY OR OLDER TO ENTER location for other ways to enter. All entries must be establishments or a resident of Quebec. later than the Contest Closing Date of , .. . .., )h P fcPsffiaSilsill deposited by no , ,„„ cancel th,_s 5:00 pm Monday November 4, 1991. No retail purchase is 4. Labatt Breweries reserves the right to revise or nPi'Ci 1M necessarvnecessary to enter promotion at any time. Contest is subject to all applicable I PVllil I NAME: AGE: federal, Provincial and Municipal Laws. Entries must be | 2. THE PRIZES: 5 Weekly prizes (values of no less than received by 5:00 pm November 4, 1991. Prize may not be address : $5.00 and no more than $50.00) will be awarded through exactly as shown or displayed. random draws to qualified entrants at each participating ~ . city: prov, campus for 5 weeks. All weekly winners'entry See ballot box location for complete rules and regulations r forms will be resubmitted at the end of the 5 week promotion ht postalcode tel. period for the Grand Prize draw. One Grand Prize of a small dai i m nnv I nPATinM- v Fridge Can (3 approximate dALLUI dUA LUUAIIUN. t ; Blue Light 6 cubic feet, retail 7 tti" value $600.00) will be awarded to selected qualified V ii amAM a registeredHtuib tHtu ostudentuutN AT one k IMM i ai. entrant on each Darticioatina camDus throuqh a random \P—= draw to be held or campus at a pre-selected time at a pre- - selected campus area (both to be announced prior to the draw date) on Saturday November 9, 1991 from all entries 112 - (25 x6)+so+ = _ Skill Testing Question: 7 9 _ received or before, the date. Proof of J.. __. on. contest closing age o>ti mr"*lklT I ||ft|if TIIIIT C must be P resented by selected entrant(s) before being I I HUTT I Hfll w I have familiarized myself with the complete contest rules and declared a Winner. compliance and understanding therew.th Prizes will be delivered within a reasonable time thereafter to (\ RFFRFQUINi! AMFQ ROOMI 1Win liLriliaVillllU , the winner(s) by an independent delivery service selected by tntrants signature Labatt Breweries. The odds of winning the Grand or a » THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 26. 1991 nm cord SPORTS 25 Hawks even record Hawks of the Week * Jandre Semren - Soccer Weekend * win « against Mac * * By Brent Dobson * Jandre led the men's soccer Hawks to a 3-2 victory over the* « McMaster Marauders in Saturday's match at Bechtel Park. This sec-* * ond year striker from Oakville scored two goals and combined with » * The McMaster men's Soccer team visited Bechtel park this Satur- last week's mark now has three for the season. Jandre, a second year * day to visit a very hungry Laurier squad eager for a victory. The team student, * « economics is a team leader both on and off die field and is looked very strong posting a 3-2 win, * their first of the season, which « expected to continue his strong, consistent play throughout the sea- evens their record at 1-1. * son. * The first half was completely dominated by a Laurier attack that * Mac on - held the keeper the sidelines for the second half. Sonya Ritcey Soccer * Andre Semren picked up where he left off last weekend scoring * early in the game when he pounced on a rebound a and drilled shot * Sonya played two very strong games this week for the Lady Hawks. past sprawling keeper, bringing the a crowd to their feet where they * This second year keeper from Pickering shut down the Western of-* throughout * remained the game. fence on Wednesday securing a Hawk victory. In Saturday's game*. This ignited the potentially powerful Laurier offense and the * versus the Windsor Lancers Sonya held the opposition to a one goal* * momentum quickly favoured the Hawk's side. Soon after Semren's lead stopping two particularly devastating shots. Sonya has been a* goal, "Toto" DellaCroce cracked in his first goal of the season. A Laurier kicker in action. *keen motivating and supporting team player always coming through* Eager to prove their dominance of this Saturday the soccer pitch once again, the Next game is in * at crunch time. team wasn't satisfied with a mere two goal advantage. Before long Windsor. Semren again beat the Mac keeper for his second goal of the game and the third of the season. The Laurier back four should also be credited for an excellent game. Up until late in the first half when Mac scored their first goal, the back four completely shut down the Mac offense, as well as con- tributing to the offence themselves. In particular, Rob Mikalachki and Gord Watson fed key passes to the Laurier strikers that kept the Mac fullbacks back peddling most of Could You Make A Decision the game. The momentum nearly shifted drastically when late in the game That Would Affect Over 95% Mac was awarded a penalty shot. A goal would have cut the Hawk lead to just one. With tremendous pressure put on him, keeper Ferd Krauss came of Canadian Households? up with a stupendous diving save on what is usually considered a sure goal. This unimaginable save eventually became the play of the game as Mac was able to score once more before time expired. If the star of the game is Andre Semren for his brilliant two goal performance, then the hero of the game is Ferd Krauss for his brilliant goal keeping. This weekend the team travels to Windsor Saturday and plays host to Western Sunday at Bechtel Park. Game time is Ipm. This could be the most important weekend series of the season for the team. The team would like to thank all those who went to the last game and hope to see you on Sunday. Procter & Gamble is a major manufacturer and marketer of consumer packaged goods. With leading brand names such as Tide,*lvory, Crisco, Pampers and Bounce, chances are that you have at least one of our products in your home — 95% of Canadian households do. We offer a variety of career opportunities, hiring at the entry level not only from the business schools, but from all academic disciplines,-And because we promote solely from within, recent graduates hold positions of major responsibility. We are looking for strong achievers, dynamic communicators and people who Mystery want to have fun with what they do. If you would enjoy a challenging Guatamala Africa I environment, then make the decision that could affect 95% of Canadian house- Thailand, — holds apply to Procter & Gamble. ■ Indonesia , Ecuardor and more. Where the two worlds Jewellery Crafts and Clothing See you October 2, 1991 at the ■Ttimiwadstokl Paul Martin Centre. Deadline Tuesday October 15, 1991. PROCTER & GAMBLE INC. THE CORD THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 26. IS>S>T 26 SPORTS You've Found the Place-— Monday night power shortage CONTINUED FROM, PAGE 23 game adding "you justcan't win with kids." He claimed the Leafs weren't really so old, and "But wouldn't you move him to the wing", I still had some prospects coming up in the system. wondered. The fact remains however that in less than a year "What are you, second guessing us now?" he the Leafs have traded a first-round pick, two second snapped back. round picks, as well as John Mclntyre, Scott Pear- "Then does that mean he will play as a fourth- son, Ed Olczyk, A 1 lafrate, Steve Bancroft, Vince line centre?" I asked. Damphousse, Luke Richardson, Scott Thorton, "Not necessarily", he replied inconclusively. Peter Ing. But this was actually as controversial as our in- Only three of the eight first round picks got. thought by talking drafted terview I that to a coach I by the Leafs since 1986remain with the team. more might get than the usual cliches the players "We traded to get character guys." he said guys Restaurants^^ spurt out, but I should have remembered that I inquired whether he thought the Leafs played like Kitchen spent season after season learning all better by the end of the year when the team was their recycled sayings and the natural reaction to closer to what it is now. revert to these comes right back. "Yes, we did play better at the He did, however no matter what the topic, end of the year." defend the Leafs, Cliff Fletcher, Tom Watt, Floyd he agreed. GoodFriends, GreatTiipe? Every Tirpe! Smith and anyone else in the system, like a good In closing, he agreed that the Leafs wanted to assistant coach should. A true company man. get off to a fast start but discounted the idea that the There seemed, however, differences between Western road dip which kicked off last year was the philosophies of the two coaches. Chambers the beginning of the end. believes that the kids are the key to the future, "Confidence is probably 90% of the game. We while Kitchen tried to prove the point that the men- lost a lot early, lost our confidence and never really -Sports bar -Great Food, tal aspect and especially confidence is vital to the recovered until it was too late." -free Hors d'oeuvres Affordable Prices nights -Salad Bar Football Upcoming Events Friday int |1 1 Hawks 37 Marauders 14 -Sunaay Brunch -Groups Welcome sa.urday se t.2B „ P happened , What If Womenw s Soccer Hawks 3 Mustangs 2 Football vs Windsor 2pm 2 iflH TAm it'c Hawks 1 Lancers Rugby vs Carleton Ipm 94 Bridgeport Rd.E. uIIU rVlldl !) 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