Exploring emotions on returning to school: Strategies and Approaches

 SENCO Conference  SEMHL  Kathy Gardner and Julie Lewis Objective

To explore strategies to help manage the effects of , loss and trauma How to build a sense of safety through nurture, fun and play Taking time to rebuild

‘Endings come with the promise of new beginnings’

The context…

 Abrupt endings (no closure)

 No formal schooling for months

 Lack of certainty for months

 World of fear / anxiety

 Illness / death

 Changes to friendships

 Coping strategies lost, i.e. football, friends, music

 Life in lockdown variable

 Missed experiences, i.e. trips, parties, being in year group

 New ‘normal’

 No definitive end point

 Unprecedented Issues

 Each - individual experience of lockdown

 Emotional regulation

 Expectation/Anticipation

 Mental Health needs: i.e. OCD, Phobias

 Emotional contagion/trauma

 Unfamiliarity, different/no routine

 Attachment issues with parents/ Issues

 Sleeping routines altered.

 Loss of confidence in learning

 Re-triggering of old trauma

 Bereavement

 Physical health

 Isolation i.e. vulnerable category Anxiety during Covid-19

 Fear of the unknown – when will it end? When will I go back to school?

 Change in routines

 Increase of mental health needs

 Academic anxiety – progress, confidence, transitions

 Home situations

 Increased ‘what if?’ thinking Loss during Covid-19

 Children have experienced loss on different levels: - Structure/Routine - Freedom - Friendship/social interaction - Opportunity

 Children may have lost loved ones to the virus.

 Children may feel the effects of bereavement vicariously because there is so much in the media about people dying. Please bear in mind…

Many children will need support to regulate their emotions. We may be expecting children to do something they have not yet learnt. How can we help?

• Understanding the issues/recognise child’s loss

• Self-care, being conscious of own feelings

• Developing a sense of safety

• A sense of calm

• Providing optimism and hope ourselves through modelling

• Connectedness

• Self-efficacy, giving children choices

• Prioritise relationships, safety and security

• Giving the message ‘it’s ok to not be ok’ Emotional responses and behaviours

 Anger

 Anxiety

 Difficulty concentrating

 Social skills

 Mental health needs: OCD, phobias

 Attachment needs

 Refusal to come to school

 Withdrawn

 Hyperactive/over excited

 Socially isolated

 Rigid behaviours

 Excessively tired

 Extreme changes to behaviour/personality

Bereavement and loss – difference?

 Loss is felt in many different situations and does not necessarily involve death. For example, you can feel the loss of a loved one or pet through isolation or a change in circumstances, such as divorce.

 Bereavement is the period after a loss during which and mourning sometimes occurs. The time spent in a period of bereavement usually depends on the significance of the loss. Again, it is possible for a person to feel bereaved without someone having died, although bereavement is often associated with the death of someone/something close to us. • Huge range of emotions Emotional Impact • Mood swings, outbursts • Reduced sense of self and identity • Feeling of overwhelm and helplessness • Potential for isolation or alienation Cognitive: Physical: Behavioural:  Rumination about the • Headaches or feeling • Changes in sleeping person/what has been of nausea. patterns. lost. • Tight or dry throat or • Changes in eating  Memories of other mouth. habits. losses. • Shortness of breath or • Reduction in  Difficulty concentrating. difficulties breathing. exercise.  Reduced memory or • Rapid heart rate or • Socially forgetfulness. tightness in chest. withdrawing.  Difficulty • Feelings of fatigue or • Disengagement in planning/carrying out exhaustion. hobbies/interests. tasks. • Gastrointestinal problems.  Difficulty problem solving. Trauma

 Bessel van der Kolk’s definition of trauma: ‘an inescapably stressful event that overwhelms people’s existing coping mechanisms’  American Psychological Association: traumatic stress involves ‘intense fear, helplessness, or horror’  Trauma = A threat to us, real of perceived  Be aware that children on high alert may not be in the right place for learning and we are building foundations in order for them to learn in the future. Support

 Communicate honestly

 Normalise worries and

 Focus on accomplishments

 Sustain social and support networks Aims of Support

 Understand that behaviours are symptoms and signs

 Validate their feelings (Empathy)

 Help the child to understand themselves and to develop self –awareness

 Coping strategies –old and new

 How do we build skills around human connection?

 See human connection as linked to self-identity and self-esteem

 To nurture hope and optimism Support

 Allow time to talk and listen  Wellbeing before learning  Daily Diary  Worry box  Support children with labelling their emotions by using an emotions map/mat  Relaxation sessions  Check in (thumbs up/down/to-the-side)  Metaphorical Stories e.g. The Huge Bag of Worries  Regular Learning Breaks  Movement, Exercise  Collective Recovery – Peer Buddies  Be cautious of sanctions (lose break= locked in) A place and time to worry…

 This is NOT about dismissing feelings

 Encourage self-talk to deal with intrusive thoughts e.g. “I understand you are worried. We can think about this during ... Right now we need to…”

 Use imagery e.g. a worry shelf or conveyor belt.

 Create a list – what I can control/what I can’t control. This is a great opportunity to discuss worries and often a point of realisation – how does worrying about things I cannot control help me?

 Think about alternatives together Distraction

 At its worst, anxiety can become all-consuming to the point where it interferes with basic functioning.

 Provide a range of distractions for times when it is difficult to let thoughts go. Involve the child so that they have ownership – what could I do instead of worrying about…?

 Imagine: Writing stories – you decide the ending. Story boards and cartoons.

 Make and create: Worry box, paint splats, fiddle toys, scribble emotions, mindful colouring in.

 Physical: Breathing and relaxation exercises. Yoga. High intensity exercise. More moving=less worrying! Strategies for coping with Loss

• Try to keep routines as normal as possible as this will make the child feel safe. Involve them in decision making that affects them (where possible). • Ensure that the child knows that it is OK to be angry – all emotions are OK. Reassure them that they are not to blame. Re-affirm behaviour boundaries if necessary and provide a safe means to release anger. • Provide clear, honest and age appropriate information. • Allow time to talk about what has happened, ask questions and build memories. • Seek support – SEND services and websites (see resources). New Routines

 Ensure visual timetables are shared at the start of the day.

 Ensure there are opportunities to reaffirm relationships with familiar or new staff.

 Be empathic and share anxieties, showing that you understand how children are feeling. Try to normalise worries by open discussion in a safe environment e.g. circle time, meet and greet etc.

 Allow opportunities for children to reflect, talk and ask questions about what has happened. The window of tolerance Activities to decrease hyperarousal

 Diaphragmatic breathing (deep and slow tummy breathing)

 Drinking from a straw  Throwing a therapy / yoga ball at a blank wall or outside wall  Jumping on a trampoline or mini trampoline  Weighted blanket

 Warm water  Shaking or stomping out excess energy  Therapy / yoga ball (rolling along back when child / youth is lying face down on mat – gentle but firm pressure)  Heavy work (lifting, pulling, push-ups, wheelbarrow races, leap frog etc.)

 Music (soothing and calming music and sounds)  Comforting food (hot chocolate or something chewy but smooth) Activities to increase arousal (how to get out of a hypo-aroused state)

 Anything that stimulates the senses!  Smelling essential oils (smell is the fastest way to the thinking brain which we are trying to get back online)  Chewy crunchy food  Use of sensory shaker (ball pit) for tactile input  Movement  Jumping on a trampoline or mini trampoline  Gently sitting and bouncing on therapy ball (simulating rocking motion)  Rocking chair  Weighted blanket  Finger painting  Water play with a straw (blowing through the straw)  Dancing and music

Support

 Reassurance – physical and emotional safety

 Familiarity, routine, predictability –visual timetable

 Support children in following the rules by modelling these ourselves. Praise those who follow rules and support those who struggle.

 Be very clear and consistent.

 Fewer, more simple rules on display

 ‘What I did during lockdown?” – story, picture, chat

/item  Involvement with parents and communication

 Check other needs being met

 Help to reconnect with friends –essential for self-esteem Individual Support

 Boundaries

 Reflect, accept, celebrate, move on  Process Lockdown/pandemic/future:  Role play, make movie, small world characters, puppets, write story/poem, draw pictures, design worlds, present? future ‘lego lockdown’  Build resilience (character v competence)

 Gratitude (increases dopamine and decreases cortisol)  Activate higher brain/executive functioning –writing, talking about feelings, creative tasks  Explain the brain/models  Set personal goals (increases dopamine, evidence they can achieve) Individual Support

 Explore previous coping strategies/self-soothing techniques

 Same place/time/format (reassurance)

 Marathon analogy

 Involve parents if possible ( be careful of sanctions, i.e. not remove phone or ground)

 All usual transition support is very relevant (new school/year group/teacher)

 Best friend analogy

 Signpost if needed (therapeutic support)

 Normalise Mindfulness Mindfulness

 Mindfulness is the quality of being present and fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the moment, free of distraction or judgement and aware of thoughts and feelings.

 It helps children and young people to regulate their emotions and focus their attention as well as developing their resilience. Furthermore, it can open a channel of discussion with adults on discussing any thoughts worries and concerns. Grounding Activities

 Trace around fingers on other hand – breathe in (up), breathe out (down).

 Notice points of body in contact with the floor and chair.

 5, 4, 3, 2, 1: Think of 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 SIGHT: 5 colours you can see, 4 shapes, 3 soft things, 2 people, 1 book.

 ABC around the room: Look around the room and try to identify an object that starts with each letter of the alphabet. Stop when grounded. A simple calming strategy – glitter bottles

 https://youtu.be/nk0ybxD6RG8 High Empathy Approach

 High Empathy and High Guidance

 Connection before Correction

 ‘All feelings are OK’

 ‘Not all behaviour is OK’ Developing Resilience: Autonomy

 An element of control increases confidence and motivation.

 Ask children what do they think will work?

 Ensure that they are able to make choices within their bubble.

 Do they have appropriate control over their environment and decision making?

 Support in making sense of their world and in understanding the experiences they have had?

 Ensure they are allowed to experience ALL feelings not just the good ones.

 Is self expression and self reflection encouraged? Families

 Warm and Welcoming

 Communicate daily with parents. Post it note/note in bag

 Can families have a genuine voice in what is happening?

 Child hearing the same messages at home and at school?

 When in doubt bring back to the child

 How does the child feel?

 How can we make things better together? Transition to Secondary

 Links with schools virtually

 Virtual welcome packs

 Hearing from existing pupils

 Planning journeys – communication with home

 BBC transition resources

 www.youngminds.org

 SEMHL support for transition including new resources

 https://youtu.be/xT6ctrk3pVQ Finding your Feet Young Minds Video Final Thoughts

 Be conscious of where we are at

 Self-Care

 Don’t underestimate your ‘being’ as well as ‘doing’

 Patience/Time – don’t move them on too fast

 Honesty

 Fun

 Reflect: what is working, how will I see things are working?

 Make sure your most vulnerable pupils have an activity they enjoy and help them to do this on a regular basis. “Do these pupils really need more access to study opportunities, better teaching, different reading schemes, more computers, more effective discipline? What if they just needed more access to you and to me? A genuine relationship. Is this a possibility? What if it really wasn’t more complicated than that? What if the tool that we had overlooked – ourselves – was the bridge into a world of possibilities, that a genuine relationship with us, perhaps acting as a buffer, could switch on the pupil’s ‘thinking brain’ and integrate it with his ‘emotional brain’?”

Bomber & Hughes (2013) Resources

 Mindfulness Resources: Childline Calmzone

 Anna Freud Centre and Mentally Healthy Schools website: wealth of trusted resources including Toolkit 6: Resources to build resilience  Beacon House - https://beaconhouse.org.uk/  www.boingboing.org.uk Resiliency Framework, lots of resources around whole school approaches to academic resilience  Settling to Learn by Louise Bomber and Daniel Hughes

 Inside I’m Hurting by Louise Bomber  Read Well Booklist: reading-well.org.uk  https://reading-well.org.uk/books/books-on-prescription/young-people- mental-health Further Support

 http://www.safehandsthinkingminds.co.uk/covid-anxiety-stress-resources- links/

 https://www.acc-uk.org/public/docs/page-pdfs/SENSE_COVID-19.pdf

 https://www.annafreud.org/media/11160/supporting-schools-and- colleges.pdf

 http://www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/help-around-a- death/covid-19.aspx

 https://www.barnardos.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/Becoming%20and %20sustaining%20an%20adversity%2C%20trauma%20and%20culturally%20infor med%20and%20responsive%20Barnardo%27s%20-%202019%20%28PDF%29.pdf A few more ideas:

 Chill Panda NHS app for all ages

 Tummy Buddies

 Positive Memory in the palm of your hand

 Glitter Jars (see video) Tummy Buddies

 Choose a soft toy that you can balance on your tummy and ask your teacher to put on some gentle music.

 Take your shoes off and lie down so you are comfortable.

 Put the toy on your belly.

 Breathe in: While your teacher counts to 3, breathe in through your nose so your tummy gets big and your toy goes up in the air.

 Breathe out: While your teacher counts to 4 breathe out through your mouth so your tummy sinks down and your toy sinks down.

 Repeat this 10 times, can you rock your tummy buddy to sleep so they feel completely safe, calm and relaxed. Carrying a positive sense of calm in the palm of your hand

 First have the child or the young person trace their hand on a sheet of paper.

 The person then thinks of a positive memory that would help them feel safe and calm to remember even in the midst of stressful and triggering situations.

 Write each of the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling) on each of the 5 fingers.

 The child or adult with them will draw/or write about a memory in the palm of the hand.

 Encourage the individual to identify how the memory is experienced using each of the 5 senses on each finger and write or draw a picture for each.

 Talk about how thinking of this memory can help the person feel a sense of safety and inner calmness despite outer life circumstances. Kristinamarcelli.wordpress.com