Special feature TEN YEARS LATER Musicians remember 9/11

n Reprinted from the Sept. 2011 issue of Allegro, the magazine of the New York City musicians’ union (AFM Local 802), with additional responses that were not included in the print edition. For more information, e-mail Allegro editor Mikael Elsila at [email protected] TEN YEARS LATER This fall marks the 10-year anniversary of 9/11. Below, musicians share their memories of that unforgettable time…

he thing that I remember airplane was all but empty. Arriving at except for police motorcades roaring all so horrible, but they way the people most clearly about returning to JFK, I realized immediately that America through Times Square every few min- of the city and suburbs reacted to it all my piano bar gig after 9/11 was was very different from the one I left two utes. The burning smell from downtown made me very proud to call myself a Twondering what the hell I was weeks before. was heavy in the air - jet fuel and God New Yorker. going to play. The bar was very busy; Carl Carter knows what else. Mike and his Quartet Erick Storckman people wanted played an absolutely amazing set. He to be surround- was in Spain. I went to the cathedral started by announcing the Red Cross got up early to practice a big Per- ed by friends, in Barcelona and they were conduct- donation, and saying, “The people that cussion setup for an upcoming Scott but everyone ing a mass did this want us to shut down. But this is Johnson premiere with New Millen- was very ner- Ifor the vic- New York. We play jazz here. We have to Inium Ensemble. When I went up- vous, emotional, tims of 9/11. do this, to show them and ourselves that stairs around 10 a.m. to brew some cof- and pretty much They saw me we can go on.” As is well known by those fee, my housemate, trombonist Randy still in shock. It and recognized that were knew and still know Mike Hestand, was glued to CNN and told me seemed highly I was Ameri- Brecker, his musicianship was exceeded the World Trade Center had been hit by inappropriate to can. I have only by his humanity. I walked away a plane. Dumbfounded, I looked at the play light, hap- never gotten that night knowing that we’d come out TV and exclaimed, “Holy sh$!, there’s py music, but I over the love of this, thanks to his words and music. so much smoke you can’t even see the certainly didn’t want to play anything and warmth I David Demsey south tower!” Randy, very deadpan said, overly sad or dark. I thought the “peace felt from them. “That already collapsed about an hour and love” anthems from the 60’s and I have also nev- s a musician, I mostly re- ago, man.” A few minutes later the north 70’s would work best – songs about er seen more candles in my life. member the two days after tower fell before our eyes. It was truly coming together and caring for one an- George Quincy 9/11. I played in a couple of shocking to other – and I was right. As it turned out, Alocal clubs in New Jersey on imagine how customers wanted to have their spirits y most indelible musical those nights, and they were overflowing many lives lifted, and playing and singing those memory of 9/11 involves with people. People needed to be with were lost at songs was therapeutic for me too. I was the late Michael Brecker, one another. They needed music. They that moment. very moved by the healing power that Mthe great saxophonist who needed reasurrance that life would go Outside the music had, and felt a new sense of pur- was due to open a one-week engage- on. People were grieving and loving and house in pose as a musician. ment at Iridium on that Tuesday, 9/11. affirming life. There was anger, there was Englewood, Clare Cooper That opening night and the next were defiance, but there was no fear. On one all the back canceled, but Mike insisted on fulfill- of the nights, roads were was playing the Blue Note in Tokyo ing the rest of the gig, playing Thursday I played with clogged all and after the second show, someone through Sunday, and giving all of the the Dal- day with di- ran backstage to show us a photo of proceeds to the ton Gang at verted traffic from the George Wash- Ithe first tower that was hit. On our Red Cross. Trumpets ington Bridge, folks just sitting outside way back to the I was there in Montclair their cars listening to the radio in shock. hotel, the van on one of (filling in for For the next several days, even in Engle- we were riding those nights, my pal Con- wood, we could smell the fires. Driving in had a TV so along with rad Zulaf). in that Friday morning to accompany we were able to Mike’s wife The great dance classes at Marymount College watch the news Susan, some alto player was surreal indeed. The dance students feed of what of his manage- Mark Fried- were still in shock as was I of course, and was going on. ment team, man played a beuatiful version of “New the energy in the class was very low. The We were devas- and about a York State of Mind” with the band. teacher leading class just said, “If you’re d Kerzner Davi photo: tated to say the dozen others. Some of the guys in the band were cry- here today, you’re here to work people. least! We were It was eerie; before the show, I stood in ing while we played. It was incredibly Let’s go!” I just drummed my heart out stuck in Japan for five days. I remem- front of the club, out in the middle of moving. I knew people who died and that morning. ber that when we did finally leave, the Broadway, which was completely silent one who had a miraculous escape. It was John Ferrari n the morning of 9/11, I was out my bedroom window. My mother was working as a drummer in the World Trade Center had died. I got the supposed to fly to San Fran- had worked there once and had wit- show band at Kuthers Hotel in the train back upstate the next day. I will cisco. I had been invited to nessed the 1993 bombing. Thankfully, Catskills. I developed a bad case of never forget that day. Otake an audition out there she no longer worked there. Ipsoriasis and was going to Rockefeller Leonard Seed for the New Century Chamber Orches- The next morning, I went to three Research Hospital once a week to test a tra. I had an eerie feeling, and a voice hospitals with my mother, trying to do- new drug for my condition. I would usu- witnessed the 9/11 attacks from my actually told me in my head that “Sept. nate blood. (We both have O-positive ally drive in, but on 9/11, I took the train living room window at Waterside Pla- 11 is not going to be a good day to fly.” I blood, which is universal donor.) We from Middletown to Hoboken, where you za, on 25th Street. My three- year-old didn’t heed that voice. were turned away as there were too changed to the Idaughter was stacking Lego blocks as I had originally planned to fly on the many people offering to donate. This PATH train to the towers fell. When I went out onto plane that was taught me that although there is great get into Manhat- the street, legions of ashen-faced work- going through evil, there is also great good. People in tan. We passed ers silently marched up First Avenue. Newark. Nev- New York and elsewhere came forward the World Trade In the next days, I found myself singing ertheless, my in droves to assist and comfort. Center stop and with my guitar friend wanted Two days later, my friend and I the conductor at Union Square to fly with me went down to Ground Zero and played yelled, “Look! at candlelight on that date, as close to the fence as possible, to The World vigils, leading and I changed give the workers some form of solace Trade Center is people who my airlines through music. Many of them thanked on fire.” That had convened to a JetBlue us, leaving with downcast hearts after was right after to give comfort, flight. On that 36 hour shifts of searching. the first plane had hit. I had to get a sub- seek support morning, I had Musicians came together all over way up to 70th Street and York Avenue and share in (for some strange reason) not packed the globe to perform many benefit to go to the hospital. I was late and could the words and my bags. I seemed unwilling to do concerts. Music was then probably the not find a working pay phone or get a music of John so. I woke up suddenly, feeling the most unifying force for healing. cab. When I got there, I watched the T.V. Lennon, Carole reverberations all the way up to my Cut to a number of years later. I end- when the second plane hit. It was unreal. King, George David Weiss, as posters with Bronx apartment. I turned on WNYC, ed up working as a hospice musician Of course, I could not get out of the city pictures of those missing surrounded us. heard something, and then nothing… for nearly four years. I found that the that night. I slept in the hospital. When Brian Muni white noise. I turned on the news and music comforted not only the patients, I went in the street, people were lined watched the horror of the plane hitting but their families, friends, and the staff up all over the street by the hospitals to For additional responses, turn the the second tower. I had grown up in the of the hospitals. Music is a great healer. give blood. Unfortunately, the blood was page… Village, with views of the Twin Towers Rachel Petite not needed since all of the victims in the ‘We checked out M16 rifles with live ammo’

y memories of 9/11 are a.m. We were met by other members of We also played at the Veteran’s Day as surreal as a painting by the Army where we checked out M16 parade in New York City that year. I’ll Salvador Dali. I was sta- rifles with live ammo. I have to admit, never forget the streets lined with fam- Mtioned at the West Point there were some woodwind members ily members still holding up pictures Band at the United States Military of the band who I felt should not have of their family members with signs Academy as a trombonist. We were a weapon, but that is another story. asking if we’d seen them anywhere. in the middle of rehearsal when one It was a very nervous time for all of The looks on their faces and the tears of the band members came into the us. I personally was assigned to guard flowing were heart wrenching. Sadly, rehearsal hall and whispered some- part of the Hudson River by the boat I’m sure many of them were never thing in the colonel’s ear. We took a marina. At one moment I had to chal- found. break and went to the lounge area and lenge a man who was walking up the I continued to play an occasional turned the TV on. As the entire world railroad tracks. I didn’t know who he Broadway show while still stationed watched, we were in shock as another I went home and eventually heard was, if he was carrying a weapon, or at the West Point Band. I was always plane hit the second tower. from my future husband, who also if he was going to try and blow some- looking up at the sky on my way to a We did not return to rehearsal but worked at West Point. He came thing up. It turned out he was the har- show. waited to hear what our next order of over that evening. At about 11 p.m. bor master himself. He actually appre- I retired from the West Point Band in the day would be. Eventually the word the phone rang. It was the non- ciated how I wouldn’t let him proceed 2005 and now live upstate. I think our came down to us to return home to our commissioned officer in charge of any further! great nation was so innocent before we quarters and wait for further informa- scheduling a security team that would All of our lives changed that day. We were attacked at home. I pray it never tion. We were told the academy was be used to help guard West Point for played many memorial services for the happens again, but if it does, I’ll gladly locking down at 12 noon. No one was the following weeks. I was told to re- victims of 9/11. It was an honor, but it report to the Armory again. coming on or off after that time. port to the weapons armory at 5:30 never got any easier as time went on. Lori Salimando-Porter ’ll never forget how from the roof endary copyist and woodwind player) sation where he flew off the handle ways were closed. of my building in Brooklyn, I could what a musician should do about this and screamed every insult at me, and We stood on the sunny boardwalk, see twin pillars of smoke and dust world. He said the birds sing whether accused me of taking advantage of a feeling helpless and guilty to be at Iwhere the it’s peaceful or a battlefield. situation, said his wife was volunteer- the beach. Our phone didn’t work to Twin Towers had Stuart Bogie ing and helping out so many victims, check on a friend who worked near stood just a short and here I was showing selfishness. He the towers. time before. That am not only a jazz pianist and mailed me a bill for the deposit money. I remem- was the only day composer but an electrician. At He himself had requested this specific bered that I I ever practiced about 7:30 a.m. on 9/11, I was in- pianist! Yet he didn’t want to under- had watched with the T.V. on, Istalling a light fixture at a restau- stand the situation. He threatened to the construc- glued as I was to rant in downtown Manhattan. When sue me. I think he was a lawyer, but tion of the news of the trag- the first plane struck sometime later don’t remember. I was so freaked, like Twin Towers edy. I wouldn’t that morning, I heard a loud bang. This everyone else, by what had happened, as a kid. have practiced at bang was like thunder, and at first I and so on the edge of my sanity, that I The next all that day if not thought an underground subway car wrote a check for the amount out of my morning I saw for a looming recital, which became derailed causing this noise. I immedi- own bank account, now at my own ex- my neighbor dedicated to the 9/11 victims and their ately put down my tools and ran to the pense, spat on the envelope and sent it vacuuming families. front door. I saw lots of glass shards fly- to him. Good riddance! I felt I couldn’t her SUV. She told me how she sat in Raphael Klayman ing in the air. I just left my tools and stand one second of contention or I’d a traffic jam on the West Side High- ladder, and ran to my car. I drove fast in just go over the edge. I know that many way watching the second tower being had a steady Friday night gig with an attempt to just get out of the area. I folks felt that way. It was just another struck. She worked blocks from there. the Rainbow Room Orchestra at the drove onto the Brooklyn Bridge. When I case of exploitation and objectification She then pointed out all the ash Rainbow Room, 65th floor of 30 got to Brooklyn, the other plane struck. of musicians. We’re fine when we play, covering her once-white SUV. We both IRockefeller Center. After 9/11, the I realized something big happened as I but when we need to eat or survive… started to cry realizing its contents. gig was cancelled for a couple of weeks. saw many people in the streets talking hmm, it’s another thing. Jon Berger It was eerie returning to Manhattan on cell phones outside on that sunny Carol Sudhalter when the gig resumed a couple of weeks day. Plenty of black smoke, and it was ince I live here in Manhattan, later, traveling through road blocks and a mess! I am blessed I got out of there was in a recording studio in Lon- I was and still am in a kind of scores of police when I did avoiding, the toxic dust don on a lunch break, when the shock after this terrible thing officers every- and smoke. God was looking out for concertmaster of the orchestra Shappened. In many ways we where. It was a me that day. The effect of 9/11 was ter- Irushed into the control booth with live in a totally different world today bit scary going rible. My tip glass had very few tips in the news that “a plane had hit one and I knew through heavy it when I played solo piano. Gigs just of the Twin Towers at the WTC.” This right away it security to get evaporated as people were scared to go was followed moments later by the would be that to the eleva- to New York. The economic downturn announcement of a the second tower way after see- tors to the 65th started on 9/11. I am sure many musi- being hit by another, larger plane, fol- ing the images floor. When cians who work for tips felt it. Times are lowed by the Pentagon attack report. and the shock I entered the still very bad – and getting worse. That’s when I realized that the USA was on the faces of ballroom with Stuart H. Tresser under attack. We found the only T.V. in my neighbors its magnificent the place and watched horrified as the as we rode views of NYC it was so sad to see the had a contract to play at Win- whole drama unfolded. It seemed un- the elevator skyline minus the Twin Towers of the dows on the World on Sept. 22, for a real at the time, and I didn’t sleep well at Manhattan World Trade Center, not to mention the 40th birthday party, with an excel- for the remaining three weeks I was in Plaza, where sadness of all who had perished there. Ilent pianist known to everyone who London. When the limo crossed the I live. Pain, horror and shock are the You could see smoke rising from the will read bridge into Manhattan upon my return words that come to mind and I still site for several weeks. I had also done this, who is when it really hit me: the New York sometimes have nightmares about numerous gigs at Windows on the lives by play- skyline was changed forever. As we en- it, to tell you the truth. The only way World at the top of the World Trade ing piano tered the city there was an eerie silence I know is to write music from such a Center. and has no and flags were draped on buildings for situation. I find it personally uplifting. Ron Fox other skills as far as the eye could see. This atypical I wrote and recorded my own humble and lives silence lasted for several months, as if tribute to the victims of 9/11, “Get Back ays after 9/11, my group meagerly. the city was in shock. In The Groove.” Wherever we perform Antibalas was playing at a When 9/11 William H. Hicks this tune around the world, the reac- fundraiser on the street in occurred, I tion is unbelievable. Ten days after 9/11 DWilliamsburg, right by the gave him the k j azzcamera.co.u John Watson: y family and I were we went to Germany. American flags water. A fire fighter was there alone, deposit money as compensation for the checking out of a Jersey were flying everywhere. We have a lot dancing and holding his hands in the missed gig. I explained this to the hus- shore hotel. We noticed of friends over there, folks. air in the peace sign, occasionally kiss- band, who was the client. But he didn’t M a building fire on the re- Jon Hammond ing the cross on his neck. Later that “hear” me, and started asking for the ception desk T.V. During breakfast, week I asked Will Connell (the leg- deposit back. We had a phone conver- we heard the horrible news. The high- n 9/11, My wife left our n September 2001, I was the pianist tion into the consuming dust cloud. hat day, I wrote a song called Queens home to work in on Sunday and Monday evenings at In the days that followed, I could see “September 11 2001” – just Manhattan. When Manhattan the Cafe Pierre. Kathleen Landis, who the smoke coming from the huge empti- my way of dealing with things. ogot put on “lockdown” after Inormally played Tuesdays through ness in the skyline. I followed the news TThree days later I wrote “Truth the terrorist at- Saturdays, was unable to get into the as hospitals made preparations for the is the First Casualty,” for obvious rea- tacks, I arranged city on 9/11 and asked me to sub for her. expected overflow of wounded, only for sons. Both are free online; Google their for my wife to As I went in the 61st street entrance to it to become painfully clear that there titles plus “Hitman Blues Band.” I played go to some fel- the hotel, I saw a row of young people were not going to be that many. I was gigs for a number of survivor families, low musicians’ slumped on the sidewalk up against the at the waterfront when the Red Cross which ran the gamut from mourning to homes in Man- building, crying. Because Cantor-Fitzger- boat arrived to help with victims that actually happy (don’t ask). hattan until ald’s emergency center of operations was were never going to materialize. When Russell “Hitman” Alexander she could safely upstairs in the ballroom, the Cafe was I returned to work the following week, I arrive home. I packed not only with stranded travel- saw the thousands of posters of missing he New York Philharmonic was also realized it ers, but also with friends and relatives people plastering the subway walls and in Frankfurt Airport returning would acceler- of the missing, including the brother it was nearly unbearable. from a European Tour. I had left ate the ending of one of the pilots. Fred Alger, whose I put down my horn. I didn’t play. Tmy collegues earlier and had of the long run company was also in the Twin Towers What was the point? Music was so trivial landed in England for a vacation. As I of “Les Miserables” which I was playing came up to the piano with tears in his in comparison to the size of the tragedy. boarded the Heathrow bus, the driver for at the time. eyes as I played “We’ll Meet Again” and I went ahead the following weekend was blasting the BBC news on his radio Bill Lanham the “White Cliffs of Dover.” Somehow with my planned re-tiling of the kitchen and I was plunged into a nightmare. those World War II songs about love and floor and I wondered if I would ever get At first it didn’t seem real or possible, eptember 15th, 2001 was my loss resonated in that roomful of devas- used to the empty spot where I always and then I found myself crying out loud first sub date on the Off Broad- tated people and seemed to help them saw the towers, even if just from the cor- despite disapproving stares from passen- way production of “tick, tick... through the long, sad night. ner of my eye. gers. Suddenly it wasn’t “a small world SBOOM!” That was the first night Nancy Winston Flash-forward to 9/11 2010…my trio after all.” It was impossible to get home shows in the city resumed after 9/11. The (Zinkali Trio) gave a remembrance – or even to call home. I felt isolated and whole city seemed abandoned, and I re- awoke to the sound of the phone concert with a portion of the proceeds profoundly alone. member it being a small audience, which ringing. The voice of my husband on going to the Families of September 11th I waited five days for a seat on Luf- included my wife and a close friend. But the other end of the line informed fund. Many people found the concert a thansa, stuck in a surreal “vacation” I there was such an overwhelming sense Ime that there had been an accident comfort, and as the reviewer put it: This now loathed, listening to sympathetic of community and togetherness. It was – a plane had flown into the World Trade unusual ensemble has found absolutely European news reports tinged with ‘they almost our way of saying “We’ll get Center. I immediately drew back the gorgeous music written or arranged for deserved it’ undertones. through this…we’re going to be alright.” curtains to see a gaping hole in the side them, and their unique sound, with that We landed in a completely deserted Dennis J. Arcano of one of the towers with black smoke sanctuary’s lovely acoustics, made what JFK, the airport closed and empty. I re- pouring out. I flipped on the TV to see should have been a difficult day’s night, member wanting to drop to my knees f course as a working musi- what was going on only to find that the an evening of consolation. It turns out and kiss the ground. In the early dawn cian in New York, my liveli- announcers didn’t know much more that music is not trivial after all. of the next morning I was on the ferry hood suffered after the attacks than me. Now, I am surprised when I look out from Staten Island heading towards Oof 9/11, but that was easily the Unbelievably, as I watched the screen, my window and see the new giant tower. Ground Zero like a homing pigeon. Fac- least of my worries. There are no words another plane flew into the second tow- I did finally get used to the gap, but it ing the wind, we moved towards a pile to describe the sight of skyscrapers col- er. I turned quickly and saw the fireball took a long time. What I’ll never forget, of rubble and an acrid plume of smoke, lapsing in front of you, which I watched “live”. Not knowing what to think, I however, are those that died and served towards a painful reality and a terrifying from my living room window that day. In made my way to the Boulevard. Boule- that day. new world, but I was home…I was home. hindsight, I didn’t realize the magnitude vard East is a scenic street that mean- Susan LaFever Katherine Greene of what was actually unfolding; I didn’t ders along the top of the Palisades from The writer plays viola for the New York know that what I saw with my own eyes Weehawken through West New York, my t was a dark time for New York Philharmonic would change the world forever, that town. I went out to find neighbors and and many people. Sept. 11 was ex- two decade-long retaliation wars would others gathered gaping at the surreal tremely emotional my family and I. y new rock cello power trio, follow, and that I would be haunted by sight. One informed me that a plane had IMy father was only one of the over Von Cello, was just starting recurring nightmares of buildings crash- flown into the Pentagon. I immediately 2,000 victims on that day. The emotions to gig in the months before ing for years to come. I remember the dismissed it as a conspiracy rumor. were too high at that time and I couldn’t M9/11. We had gigs booked entire city went into lockdown, and for Returning to my apartment, I once continue to write or play like I had been on Bleeker Street that week. The clubs days New Yorkers walked the streets in again looked out the window and won- before. With time, I came back to music were empty. A month later I brought shock, as the smell of burning metal dered why there were now clouds of and started to write and record my own the band to Nashville. They didn’t suffer filled the air for miles around . Did my dust around the towers. From my angle material, turning my bad luck into good the same trauma down there but they gigs drop off in the aftermath? Yes. Did the towers had been almost behind one fortune. treated us like celebrities because we it matter? No. another and I didn’t realize that while I Here is my Web site featuring a song came from the city of 9/11. After driv- Rick Suchow was going up the stairs, one tower had dedicated to that fateful day: www/ ing that whole night I opened up a rock collapsed. Finally, and unbelievably, the MySpace.com/JustinsViZion festival in Harrisburg, PA playing the second tower sank, almost in slow mo- Justin M. DaMota Star Spangled Banner (in memory of the victims). They were so touched they GW Bridge, and while looking over my t the time of the 9/11 tragedy, across on the ferry under armed escort, had us play it again in the evening. (The shoulder, I suddenly noticed a curious I was living in New York on machine guns riding alongside the ferry performance is on YouTube.) On the ride billowing smoke rising from the south- Staten Island and always took taking us to the Manhattan side, and be home I could barely keep my eyes open ern tip of Manhattan. Could the Chelsea Athe Staten Island ferry home greeted by the vacant holes in the sky but I felt I did my little part to shed some Piers have caught fire? Whatever it was, across the bay. The incredible view of where the towers had stood in awesome light during those dark days. it was big! the Twin Towers were always in constant beauty. Traveling through Grand Central Aaron Minsky (Von Cello) The possibility exists that the plane sight as the ferry moved away from Man- Station, I always stopped at the wall to passed right over our heads, or moments hattan and into the Hudson passing the read the signs left by loved ones seeking n the morning of 9/11, I had before we entered onto the ramp. We Statue of Liberty. It was one of the most missing family members. It was just a just pulled into the parking turned on the radio. beautiful of New York’s night scenery. heavy sorrow working in lower Manhat- lot of the school in New Jersey The rest is history. Two days later, driv- Ironically, I had been on the last sub- tan those days. Owhere I was teaching clarinet, ing back into Manhattan and over the way passing under the World Trade Cen- Dorothy Goodman when preliminary news of a plane hit- bridge yet again, we looked to our right. ter during the ting the first tower came over the radio. The smoke was still there. The air held first attack in n September 2001, I was living in As the morning progressed and the news an acrid, chemi- 1993. That time, Brooklyn. I commuted to work in got worse, I kept running back to my car cal stench. The the sirens went Manhattan each day by walking radio between students to hear what triumphant off and our Iacross the Brooklyn Bridge then was happening. We were told not to structure of our train sped up, catching a subway to Midtown. On my say anything to the kids to avoid panic. Twin Towers rushing passen- way to work on 9/11, I heard a passerby I remember writing the date in one of was obscured. gers off at South say that the World Trade Center was on my student’s lesson books and making There was still Ferry. I emerged fire. I scrambled up to the bridge and saw a mental note that I would never forget too much smog from the sub- flames coming out of one of the towers that date again. Family and friends from but we knew the way stations and thick, black smoke. I could also see as far away as Spain kept calling me on buildings were to the scene of what looked like a gaping hole. It was my cell. It became impossible for the fac- gone. My eyes startled and shocked people wandering around 9:30 a.m. ulty to maintain a sense of normalcy. I watered and my chest went tight but not around the ferry terminal with soot on My mind couldn’t grasp the fact that left school around noon hoping to get from the odor. Only grief and disbelief their faces. steel and glass were on fire. How can a home before they closed the roads, but pervaded my spirit. Everything and ev- The day of 9/11, I again narrowly tower burn? I started walking towards the by then it was too late. Thus began a 20 eryone moved slowly but purposefully, missed being on the subway riding be- flames. Meanwhile, hundreds of people hour odyssey (including a stay in a Red with an aura of the surreal. Descending neath the World Trade Center’s Cortland were streaming at me in the opposite di- Cross shelter somewhere- I still don’t onto Riverside Drive, children were play- Stop. I decided to come home one day rection. Some were crying. know where) in an attempt to travel the ing in the park, nannies chattered with- early from an upstate venue, which is I made it to the corner of Church and 10 miles from the school to my apart- out concern or undue caution, joggers how I missed being under the towers. Chambers. There were hundreds of peo- ment near the Lincoln Tunnel. and bicyclists worked up a sweat, attaché On the Staten Island side, I watched ple staring up at the burning towers. I re- In the dark days following, it was diffi- toting business men and women waited the hour the horror unfolded. My son, member being hypnotized by the sight: cult to imagine life returning to normal. for the No. 5 bus. It seemed like noth- thinking me to still be coming in on that you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. I In many ways, 9/11 was the beginning of ing had happened. Life was proceeding day, came into the house screaming my clearly remember seeing a small shape the end of my career as a musician, al- as usual until the death tolls blared at name – and he cried to find I had trav- fall out of one of the towers. It fell quickly though I didn’t know it at the time. Work us from the car radio gripping us with eled home a day earlier. as if it were heavy. Hours later I realized had been slowly diminishing for me as shock, anger, bewilderment, survival In the days after the terror, I had that I had probably seen a person jump a perennial sub in the years preceding guilt, and…complete numbness. joined fellow musicians Daniel Carter, to his death. 9/11; once that catastrophe hit, no one Dennis Anderson Matt Lavelle and poet John Sinclair for I soon got an intuition that I had bet- subbed out their shows or orchestra a set at the Internet Cafe in the village. ter get out of there. A slow panic was gigs for a long time. I had been thinking am a vocal coach, educator, and It was a strange time those days, with spreading and many people started hur- about a career change anyway, but it was composer. I was living on the East soldiers present all throughout the area. rying north on Church, myself included. hard to let go of something I had loved Side and I had come home from the Often, when walking through lower I caught the A train at Canal Street and so much. It took some time- until 2007 Igym when I saw on TV the first plane Manhattan to the ferry, headed home Sixth Avenue. I found out that a short to be exact- but I found my way to a new hit. I remembered that I was to coach a to Staten Island, a senior officer would time later, the towers collapsed. I had left career that has been extremely gratify- student who wanted insight on some order a private to escort me to the ferry the scene at the right time. ing. Would I have made the change if of her repertoire. She was a registered under arms – even though New York Once at my job, I called my parents in the attacks hadn’t happened? Hard to nurse, talented actress and competent was the safest it had ever been due to Michigan and told them I was all right: say, but 10 years later I am at peace with singer, with passion. She came in to the high security all over. they hadn’t heard the news yet. I called my musical career and the choices I have the apartment and we watched the TV In the days following 9/11 when the my girlfriend (now my wife) and woke made. together as more tragedy struck. Our cleanup began, there was a deep sense her up and told her I was all right: she Karen Fisher friendship developed because of this of grief seeing the twisted metal beams didn’t know what had happened. Soon tragedy and we bonded as teacher, stu- being extricated and put on tows that after, all the phones went dead. t was a “severe-clear” September dent and colleague. took them to Staten Island for burial in I worked normally for a few hours, fol- morning. At approximately 8:40 Steven Silverstein the dump. There was such a deep sor- lowing the news on the Internet. Gradu- a.m. we were on our way to a mu- row. It was painful to see the smoke ris- ally, I learned what happened. Soon, Isician’s golf outing. Crossing the ing for weeks after and to have to come everyone at work was dismissed. I knew that the subways had been shut down. I was a great walker and could easily walk the 1.5 hours home to Brooklyn but I heard all of the bridges were closed. So I walked uptown instead, to my girlfriend’s apartment on the Upper West Side. We burst into tears when we saw each other. I spent the next two weeks at her apartment, not wanting to go back to Brooklyn. Every day we could smell ac- rid smoke, the smell of burning plastic and office supplies, even though we were about 100 blocks away from the Twin Towers. We went out to eat the first night and the entire restaurant was subdued. Everyone was watching the news on TV. Two weeks later I went back to Brook- lyn. Soldiers toting machine guns greet- ed me at the Brooklyn Bridge. My entire apartment was covered in a fine white dust: I had left the windows open, and dust from the towers had come in. The neighborhood was ashy and it stank. Weeks went by. More soldiers could be seen all over town. Jet fighters flew low passes around Manhattan. People gasped when ordinary planes flew low approaches overheard, thinking it was about to happen again. We all got used to feeling afraid. There was also a strong need for people to be together. Almost every day, I went to Union Square, where hundreds of people had set up memorials for their loved ones, missing and presumed dead. During that time, people gathered spontaneously, set up flowers and thousands of candles, placed photographs and poems, engaged in political arguments, and played music. A giant statue of George Washington was decorated with pro-peace messages. In fact, there seemed to be more pro-peace messages than pro-war. I lost two friends in the tragedy: one was killed in the Pentagon plane, and another was killed in the World Trade Center. Even though the total number dead was around 5,000, the real number of people affected -- relatives and friends -- was more like 500,000 or a million. Many months later, I visited Ground Zero for the first time. It was just a bunch of blocked-off streets, some fencing and the rumble of construction equipment. There was no place to get a perspective. What I remember most was the smell, like burning plastic. It burned my lungs. It hurt to be there. Mikael Elsila