Here’s a brief synopsis of Carolyn’s President’s Message .…....2 FV jobs: staff writer, an editorial assistant, S Whimsicals Continued …..2 speakers this press releaser for celebrity designers, State CWC PR Tips………..3 year have often consultant for the Oak Park Press, col- SFV Suggestions ………....3 emphasized the umnist and reviewer for several local New Moves………………....3 importance of publications. She's currently an instructor Book Bazaar Review…..4&5 marketing one’s for UCLA Extension Writers' Program. In Ken’s Pet Peeves………….6 new book. Our her spare time, she's written several nov- Lost and Found…………....6 March speaker, els, stories and poems. Review and Refresh……....7 Carolyn Howard- Her book, The Frugal Book Pro- Market To Market…………..7 Cara Alson Memorial.……..8 Johnson, is ready and extremely willing moter, is an e-book best seller on Ama- Dream Turned Upside Down...9 to give us pointers on marketing. zon, and currently in an updated form. Andy’s Lucky Day….....10&11 “I am best known as The Frugal Carolyn has written several additional Guest Writer Wayne Scheer...12 Book Promoter, but I want to be known books for this popular How To Do It Fru- Old Friends, New Stories.....13 as a literary writer, poet, and all round gally series. Art Yuwiler Notice …………...13 smart and giving marketer,” says Caro- On Saturday Carolyn will speak on March Madness…………...14 lyn. However, she’s reluctant to label her The Beauty of Marketing: It's Never Too Map and Meeting Info……14 work, or specialty, because of her di- Late or Too Soon to Promote Your Book. verse experiences in the writing trade. Bring a pen and pad. —KH
didn't trust any valet to park his classic Cadillac. Suddenly, Stella felt the cold muzzle of a gun helma waited as her critique group pressed against the back of her neck. T read dialogue from "Okay, lady, gimme yer necklace. the fifth chapter of her Pronto." novel. A key scene. Her "Please don't shoot me. Here. Take it." heroine Stella, all dressed “Cool. The rocks look real. Oh, don't up for her cousin's wedding, bawl, lady. You ain't got no use for it, and waited for her boyfriend I sure as hell do." Harold to return from the parking lot. Harold (Continued on page 2)
CWC/SFV MARCH 2012
Executive Board Successful Book Bazaar! “Hey, Yolanda, throw me one of those Hungarian President ... Yolanda Fintor cookies,” shouted Ken Wilkins from a table away. He may have been stuck at his station where he was display- Vice-president/Membership ... Andrea Polk ing his children’s book, but he wasn’t going to miss out on Vice-president/Programs ... Rita Keeley Brown homemade goodies set out next to my cookbook. I won’t apologize for using samples of recipes as a marketing tool. This day was all Secretary ... Position open about marketing, after all. What is marketing? It is giving exposure to your product by promoting it Treasurer ... Pirhiya Goldstein to as wide an audience as possible. For an hour, eleven participating authors and a playwright did just that in the time and space available to them. They Board of Directors each had five minutes to pitch their books and plays. That’s not a lot of time to encapsulate work that took months, more likely years to produce, but they
did it. Editor ... Kathy Highcove Before breaking for refreshments, five lucky people won a CD or books Webmaster /photographer … Ray Malus that were donated by participants and raffled off. That left plenty of time to browse, talk to authors and purchase books or CDs. You will find photos of Publicity … Karen Gorback this exciting event on our website: www.cwc-sfv.org Some comments heard: “What a great idea to showcase our members’ On Site Coordinator ... Betty Freeman work like this. We should do it every year.” “I didn’t realize our club had so Critique Groups Facilitator … Lillian Rodich much talent.” “This event has inspired me to get going on my writing.” And “How do I get into a critique group?” voiced one of sixteen guests who at- Open Mike ... Bill Sorrells tended. She may have been one of the two guests who joined that day! Member-at-Large ... Judy Presnall These comments reflect all the reasons why our California Writers Club exists. It furthers our mission to encourage writers to hone their skills, to bring to fruition their creative ideas and to get published.
(Whimsicals continued from page 1) "Wait, wait, gang, " broke in Dave. "I gotta help Thelma out. Who wrote this scene? Thelma, right?" They nodded. "And who "Please, just ... go away. I haven't seen your face." should know what her characters should say" "Not yet. Open up yer purse. Gimme those bills and, yeah, "Thelma," they told him. the plastic too. Now let's wait for the jerk who left you here alone "Right. Thelma knows what her characters should say and while he parks his friggin' fancy wheels." do. We can only tell her if the dialogue sounds like Stella. And if Reina was the first to weigh in: "I'm just not comfortable Harold is more concerned about his car than his date, then with all this street slang, Rocks? Bills? Plastic?" Thelma needs to tell us what’s up
"And how about the mugger using bad grammar?" asked with Harold. Right?" Violet. "Gimme… don't bawl none … ain't got … Sounds like a They all nodded. My hero, Thelma trite gangster movie script." thought. Derek chimed in: "What kind of idiot leaves his girlfriend "But," said Dave, "Let’s alone on a dark street? Not me!" look at the punctuation: Thelma listened and longed to speak up, but she had to wait namely, the use of quotes in until everyone had commented on her story. dialogue, my favorite topic. "If I'd written this section," said Maggie, "Stella would …" Hey, where’re you all going?"
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ill Sorrells and Ray Malus In person and in print B will appear in a Chancel SHOW OFF THE CWC Drama, Faith, at St. Martin-In- Publicity means getting the word out. Public image has to do with how the The-Fields Church, Canoga community and larger audience see your organization. January gave us an Park. excellent idea for advancement in both arenas. This month brings another one. Malus’ play, featuring a
At the January Central Board meeting, Mt. Diablo representative Judith musical score composed by Marshall spoke about a program her branch presents locally at libraries the author, will be presented and other venues. “So You Want To Write a Book” draws the perfect crowd to at 8 AM and 10 AM on March view as potential CWC members. Other branches might try this ingenious approach. 18, 2012.
This month, the inaugural issue of the California Writers Club Literary Chancel Drama is a tradi- Review goes out to members. It looks awfully good and contains a wealth of tional form of theater, pre- fine writing. Read it for fun, of course, but also with a thought in the sented as part of a church back of your head that “I can do better.” Great. What’s stopping you? Check out the submission guidelines in the magazine, create a work of service. Faith is a contempo- deathless prose or poesy and send it off. Publication means a prestigious rary drama which explores credit for you, and passing the Literary Review around shows off the CWC. the importance of one’s reli-
Both the program and the Literary Review call attention to our CWC gious beliefs. Described as fellowship of talent – getting the word out and enhancing our public image “Kafka-esque,” the play has a while you receive personal publicity in the bargain. cast of six actors, and Incidentally, my last column suggested using Letters to the Editor to talk runs 1/2 hour. Admission is up issues of interest such as finding affordable meeting spaces for free and the public is wel- nonprofits. A reader subsequently reminded me to remind you that you can write about the CWC as a member of the CWC, but take care that you don’t come. represent yourself as a spokesperson for the CWC. ay Malus has been Good luck and sail on! R awarded “Featured Tal- ent” status at Bright Lights Donna McCrohan Rosenthal, PR chair, - [email protected] Cafe, a literary website.
You can find info and an interview with Ray at http:// www.brightlightmultimedia.com/ BLCafe/ShowcasedTalent- RayMalus.htm athy Highcove's flash Our 2012 Book Bazaar was a big success for our club. Why? The K fiction story, "Gifts for event drew in more guests than we have ever had for a meeting in the the Magi," was a Fiction365's Katzenberg Room. We've received very positive feedback from both ba- featured story on Feb. 17th. zaar presenters and the attendees. So … the SFV Board wants to know It’s in the archives at how you, the membership, feel about our group establishing a more am-
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Book Bazaar Review
The cheery red hearts on the white walls announced to all that we were having a party – our first Book Bazaar. At the February meeting we heard from our local talent, met old friends and met new writers. We gained two new mem- bers. Our festivities reminded us that we're a tal- ented group and many of us have gone the extra mile into publishing land. I could feel new energy surging around the room when all the folks came and set up their books. On Saturday our SFV/CWC branch was selling itself in the best way possible -- through our productive writers. Our event was organized to spotlight some of our local talent. Each of the twelve presenters had five minutes to present their latest book or creative work. We learned that our writers had brought mys- teries, juvenile fiction and non-fiction, historical fic-
(Continued on page 5)
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(Continued from page 4)
tion, scientific research on con- sumer products, and DVDs of a drama. The Book Bazaar was a big success and it may become an annual SFV affair. This type of event is a type of community outreach which stimulates our group to share ideas with others and it may provide just that needed "you can do it" to people who need encouragement. Writing is such a wonderful outlet for thought and expres- sion be it just for ourselves or to share with others.
— Rita Keeley Brown
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REVIEW AND REFRESH
The Semi-Colon
A semi-colon may be used to link two closely related sentences. ALWAYS check website for guidelines. He was slightly nervous with her; he was utterly frantic without her. The Hillerman Mystery But hardly any professional writers use the semi-colon this way any Novel Competition is holding their annual competition/award for novels. Unpub- more. They just end the first sentence with a period and begin an- lished mystery novels set in the American southwest, writ- other. ten by a first-time author in the mystery genre. Entry form is He was slightly nervous with her. He was utterly frantic without her. on the website. Deadline: June 1. Prize: $10,000 advance and publication by Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin’s Mino- If the items in a series of word groups contain commas, a semicolon taur imprint. ALL ENTRYS MUST BE MAILED TO: Hillerman is used to separate the items. In the following sentence, the semi- Mystery Competition, Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin’s colon makes it clear that Ivana took three people to lunch, not six. Press, 175 Fifth Ave., NY, NY 10010. Contact: Anne Hiller- man & Jean Schaumberg, co-organizers. E-mail: wordhar- Ivana took Mrs. Reed, her best friend; Marco, her boyfriend; and [email protected]. Website: Artie, her agent to lunch at the Brown Derby. www.hillermanconference.com. Address: Wordharvest & St. Martin’s Press, 304 Calle Oso, Santa Fe, NM 87501. When there are additional commas in a compound sentence besides the one before the connecting conjunction, replace the comma with a Writer’s Digest Writing is holding a contest with 10 catego- semi-colon. ries: Inspirational Writing, Memoir/Personal Essay, Maga- Much to Orville's surprise, Sam, the Andersons’ watchdog, bit him; zine Feature Article, Short Story(genre), Short Story (mainstream/literary), Rhyming and Nonrhyming Poetry, and, because of the ensuing civil lawsuit, Orville and Sam had a Stage Play, and TV/Movie Script. Entries must be original, in strained relationship forever after. English, unpublished and unproduced. Grand Prize: $3,000 The Colon and a trip to NY City to meet with editors and agents. Cost $15/ first poetry entry, $10/additional poem. All other en- A colon must always have a complete sentence to the left of it. Infor- tries are $20/first ms, $15/additional ms. See the website mation missing from this sentence comes after it. for complete info. Contact: Nicki Florence. Address: Writer’s Digest, a publication of F + W Media, Inc., 700 E. State St., Some of the evidence was not in his briefcase: a camera, a map, and Iola, WI 54990. Website: www.writersdigest.com. E-mail: a pistol. [email protected], [email protected]. The example above has a list of three items after the complete sen- tence on the left. But a colon may be used before just one item as well as a list of items. The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction publishes fantasy & sci-fi short stories and novellas. Guidelines for SASE, by e- Every one of Mom's pasta recipes called for one basic ingredient: mail or website. Pays on acceptance. Responds in 2 months minced garlic. to queries. Contact: Gordon Van Gelder, editor. Address: P. O. Box 3447, Hoboken, NJ 07030. Website: The Dash www.fandsf.com. E-mail: [email protected]. If you prefer items to come at the beginning of a sentence, you might Arts and Activities is 95% freelance written. They are eager use dashes. to work with new/unpublished writers. This magazine cov- His laptop — the latest iMac — was now his most valued and useful ers art education at levels from preschool through college tool at the office. for educators and therapists engaged in arts and crafts edu- cation and training. Pays on publication. Publishes 6 months Good health, an active life style and sunshine — these ingredients to 3 years after acceptance. Accepts queries by mail, e-mail. added up to a pleasant retirement in the Bahamas. Needs nonfiction. Buys 80-100 mss/yr. Length: 500-1500 words. Pays: $35-150. Contact: Maryellen Bridge, editor in If you want the items within the sentence, you can of course use chief. Address: Publishers’ Development Corp., Dept. WM, commas. 12345 World Trade Dr., San Diego, CA 92128. Phone: (858) 605-0242 Fax: (858)605-0247. E-mail: The most important items, a camera, a map and a compass, were [email protected]. Website: missing from his day pack. www.artsandactivities.com. Or for a more dramatic effect, you might use dashes. Something To Ponder The most important items — a camera, a map and a compass — were missing from his day pack! True success is overcoming the fear of being unsuc- cessful. – Paul Sweeney — Dave Wetterberg
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everal years ago on a nor-
mal laundry day as I was
S folding clothes, I pulled a single green sock from the dryer. I was puzzled as to where the other sock had gone. Did the dryer “swallow” it up? Reluctantly I folded the single sock and put it away in the socks drawer because its moss green color was
pleasing to see in the drawer among other col- To hear them tell it they're a basket case ored socks, but I thought that I would never use it Being the sickest of the human race again. Though visible signs show not a trace. Several years passed. During that time I "We shall die before noon,” they grimly supply. would periodically use my sewing box for minor "But you look so healthy,” I quickly reply. sewing projects. I would rummage in the box for sewing needles, sewing threads, buttons, and "Not so, not so,” is their desperate sigh. other small items. Constantly reciting their doctor bills Recently I needed to sew a button on a gar- One by one they enumerate their ills ment. In my customary way, I opened the sewing Punctuated by the popping of pills. box, took a needle, and as I was looking for the Let them wallow in their illness not real. thread I noticed a crumpled green ball peeking underneath a small plastic box containing some I'll listen no more to their nauseous spiel pins. I pulled on the green ball to see what it was. For fear that their sickness I too might feel. I wondered where it came from because I did not
notice it before. As I unruffled it and realized that —Ken Wilkins it was a moss green sock, I let out a loud: “I can’t believe it!” To be sure, I immediately went to the socks drawer and searched for the other moss green sock. Sure enough, it was lying in the back of the drawer. Snip, snip snip as my hair he does clip, As I held the reunited pair of socks, I won- But the barber has a non-stop lip. dered: how did the missing sock get into the sewing box? How come all of these years I did Politics and sports is all I hear, not see a sock whenever I opened the sewing But much too loud and close to my ear. box? Why did the sock end up in a sewing box? Who put it there?
I may never know the answers, but I am sure Just wield your scissors and shut your mouth glad to have a complete set of moss green socks Before my ears decide to go South. in the drawer!
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A Portrait of ful, friendly woman who loved poets and poetry, and the room Cara was brighter when she was there.” In order to paint a picture of Cara Alson’s life, I must
by Lenora Smalley use an even more expansive canvas and many colored palette. On February 2, 2012, Not only a poet and writer, Cara was interested in the some two hundred community around her. Because of her talent for detail, relatives and friends keeping names addresses, phone numbers , rosters for gathered at Temple several groups, she was a valued member of the Perma- Beth Hillel in North nent Reunion Committee of Grant High School, class of '63. Hollywood to honor the She was a member of Temple Sisterhood, B’Nai B’rith life of Cara Alson, who Women, Jewish Women International, and Temple Hava- passed away suddenly rah. Cara also was interested in making her community on January 24, 2012. safer where people could have a voice, so she became a Cara was an out- standing member of founding member of the North Hollywood West Neighbor- California Writers Club/ hood Council. San Fernando Valley Every painting has a focal point. The focus of her life was Branch as well as several other writing and poetry groups in the her family. Cara married her high school sweetheart, Mayer Al- Valley. I remember she became interested in CWC/SFV in the son. They were married forty-eight years. Their family, son Kevin late 90s. Soon she became a volunteer who added her energy, Alson, daughter Patti Alson Fleetwood, and granddaughter Kris- humor and creativity to help make the club a better experience tina Fleetwood, made up the most important part of her life. Noth- for all. During the days when someone needed to be in charge ing made her happier than spending time with Kristina. of refreshments Cara was Hospitality Chair for two years. At the We are sad to lose her, but Cara, still thinking of others, Town Hall meetings there were always problems like the coffee left this recent poem on her desk. It became the back cover for pot socket being in the ceiling. She came early to help set up the program of the memorial service. Its simplicity is moving. and one day when she opened the door a huge canoe was hang- ing from the ceiling. But Cara was a cheerful problem solver. She became Program Chair for a two year term providing great Say your goodbyes speakers for meetings. Cara possessed a generous spirit that shed a tear. reached out to others to make them feel welcome. I'll be watching, Her book of poems, Heartache and Whimsy, was published I'll be near. in 2004. Then she was co-editor with Judy Presnall in 2006 to publish the CWC/SFV anthology Blessings, an excellent edition My time has come, containing the work of fifty-five individual CWC members. my life was long. Cara received the prestigious Jack London Award in 2008. Even I was ready though she began to have health issues she agreed to be Secre- to travel on. tary for the Reorganization Board to reinstate our charter. Every summer for five years, starting in 2003, Cara I'm with loved ones and I attended the Santa Barbara Poetry Workshops who called to me. Someday you'll join us, hosted by Perie Longo, a Santa Barbara poet laureate. wait and see. Cara’s quick- witted puns and sense of humor made her a favorite of many of the returning poets. At Westmont Col- Remember our lege she was allowed to use a golf cart to transport several many good times past. older poets up and down the hilly terrain. Tell the stories, This kindness was an example of Cara’s concern for share a laugh. others. She loved driving the cart, taking on the responsibil- ity of recharging it overnight outside our dorm rooms. She Speak of me, made a sign to hang on the back which read POETIC use my name. LICENSE amusing students at the college who whizzed by Hold me in your heart in their own golf carts. til we meet again.
One of the friends we made in those years, Polly Bee, said this about Cara: “I will always remember her as a delight-
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I was seated in the front of the camel, with Mayer behind me. But when the camel was to stand, once it raised its rear, it refused to budge any further. The camel driver hat was I, a rather ordinary woman in prodded it, spoke gently, then spewed what I as- W my forties, doing in Egypt with my sumed was a tirade of ancient curses. Mayer's behind pointed skyward and my face eight head was parallel to the ground, but I was almost inches from the desert floor? completely upside down. As gravity took effect, I Well, for one thing, holding on for dear life began to feel dizzy. Fearing I would soon faint, I to the coarse-haired neck of what may be na- became convinced that this beast wanted to kill me. ture's ugliest creature. It must also be one of I tried to scream bloody murder, but my voice came the smelliest. The closest I can come to de- out in strangled yelps. scribing the odor is a combination of dirty feet, At last the cantankerous camel stood up. My week-old cabbage and rancid sour cream. relief was brief, however, because it then tried to I felt the thump of my heart against my eat my tennis shoe — with my foot still in it! Another eardrums beating out the rhythm of my fear. poke or two from the handler seemed to curb its Following gravity, sweat trickled up my face, burning my eyes and appetite, and from then on it was well-behaved. dripping off the tip of my nose. The ride itself was a wild experience. In the movies it looks Two months earlier my husband Mayer and I were discuss- as if rider and camel are one, evidently in tune with each other's ing a possible destination for our vacation. We went around in bodily rhythms. They look positively graceful. circles until he suggested Israel. It sounded like a good possibil- I'm here, miraculously, to tell you that it just isn't so. I felt as ity, so he phoned our sister-in-law, who is also our travel agent. I if I were sitting inside a cement mixer, and my spine was moving also asked her for information on tours into Egypt. in ways it wasn't meant to. I guess the camel was moving along at “If we're going to Israel, I'd like to go see the Great Pyra- a moderate pace similar to the canter of a horse, but it felt as if it mids." was galloping hell-bent for the Nile — which was nowhere in The brochures were delivered the next day: weeklong group sight! tours to both Israel and Egypt. It was then that I noticed what was in front of us. "She must have misunderstood me," Mayer muttered as he Coming up fast was ... nothing. It seemed we were headed for a flipped through the Egypt tour book. "But maybe we can get an precipice. idea of how far a side trip to the pyramids would be." "Look!" I yelled over my shoulder to Mayer. "They're going to As we read both booklets cover-to-cover, we became aware dump the Jews into oblivion in the middle of the Egyptian desert!" of more sights of interest in Egypt. Looking at the schedule, we Home again, we shared this story with a friend of the family. discovered back-to-back tours to both countries. We could travel "Oh, I was on a camel, too," she grinned. "When I was in Israel on our own from Cairo and have a relaxing afternoon in Tel Aviv. our group stopped at a Bedouin camp, where several men make Sitting there reviewing the brochures, I recalled things my money taking pictures of tourists sitting on camels. We climbed late grandmother had told us about her journey to Israel a decade on, it stood, the man took our picture, and we got off. Thank earlier: "Our tour includes a trip to the fortress at Masada. Gram heaven it never moved!" went up to the top of Masada, remember? Oh, and I remember Mayer and I looked at each other with sudden realization: her saying 'I was on a camel!' " Gram had said she was on a camel. She'd never said she'd rid- "So you want to ride a camel, too? Yeah, that might be fun," den one! he agreed. — Cara Alson @ 2003 And that's why I was in Egypt inverted on a camel. Here’s why: To get down from a standing position, a camel first gets down on its front knees, and then lowers its back half. Getting up, the order is reversed. First Place winner for non-fiction in the SFV/CWC Writing Con- test in 2004. Copied from the June 2004 Valley Scribe.
CWC/SFV 9 MARCH 2012
“I hope he stays there. He looks obnox- ious,” said Corinne. Andy kept glancing at Johnson, who kept glancing back at Corinne and Ivy. Andy stiffened when he saw him raise his glass to them. he old blue Ford turned in “Hi, girls,” he yelled across the dance T to the parking lot of floor. The girls ignored his greeting. Barselotti’s, a favorite tavern After a few more numbers from the juke among the college crowd. From box, Johnson put down his beer glass and the passenger seat stepped stumbled toward their booth. When he ar- long-legged Vincent, a tall rived, he smiled all around as if to verify that skinny senior. Two girls exited he was a very friendly guy. by the back door, Corinne first, Vince's newly-arrived sister, a “Hi,” he said. freshman, whom Andy had had a crush on from the moment he They returned his greeting with half-smiles and muffled hel- met her. She was followed by Ivy, a wide-eyed redhead, also a los. He put his hands on the table and leaned toward Corinne. freshman. “You wanna dance?” he asked. Inside the tavern, music flowed from a jukebox, and on the Corinne said, “No thank you.” tiny dance floor several couples moved unimaginatively. Andy This doesn't look good, Andy thought. and his friends found an empty booth and scooted in, Corinne Undaunted, Johnson turned to Ivy. “How about you? You against the inboard wall, Andy next to her. wanna dance?” Vince assured the girls that it wasn’t always this quiet. It was “No thank you,” she said with a please-go-away smile. a little early yet. But it was Saturday night, and the joint would At this rejection, Johnson slammed a fist on the table and start jumping soon. turned to go. To Andy’s delight, Corinne encircled Andy's arm and At last. Thank you God, Andy thought, exhaling. squeezed. “Thanks for taking us along with you tonight,” she said. But Johnson turned back. A weary-looking, gray-haired waitress came to their booth. “Come on! Just one dance,” he said to Corinne, less “Hi, Marie,” Andy said, using her name as proof to the girls pleasant this time. that he was a regular there. Vince spoke up. “Come on, pal. She said she doesn’t feel “Hi, Andy,” she said. “Beer?” like dancing right now.” “Is the Pope Catholic?” he responded, smiling. Johnson glared at Vince. His eyes looked twice their normal The waitress nodded. Loud voices came from the other end size. “You wanna step outside?” he said. of the dance floor. Andy glanced in their direction. A tough- Vince tried diplomacy. “No! Come on! There’s no need for looking guy stood out from the rest. that!” he said. “We don’t want any trouble. Just leave us in peace, “Is there a problem over there, Marie?” Andy asked. will you?” “Same problem we always have when Frank Johnson Frank Johnson was not a diplomat. He would not go beyond comes. He has a few drinks and gets loud,” said Marie. his bar room brawl language. “You wanna step outside?” he re- She brought a pitcher of beer and four beer mugs. Andy peated. filled each one carefully to avoid too much foam. They raised the Vince remained rooted in the booth. mugs aloft. “Skoal!” Andy said. They clinked glasses. Johnson turned back to Corinne. “Come on. One dance. “I love it here!” Ivy chirped. Andy noticed her voice rise to an unusually high pitch. Over the rim of his glass, Andy saw Frank Johnson looking at “No,” she said. the girls. He's built like a piece of farm machinery, he thought. “Why not?” he said.
“That guy's still making a racket over there,” he said (Continued on page 11)
CWC/SFV 10 MARCH 2012
(Continued from page 10) He could hardly wait to congratulate his re- placement. “Good job! Good job!” he beamed, tak- “Look,” she answered. “I’ve tried to ing his hand to shake it. Mack winced. “Good job, be nice, but I just don’t feel like dancing! Mack! Good job!” he kept repeating. All right?” Mack smiled at him ear-to-ear. He kept rub- Johnson responded to this new refusal bing his knuckles. with three slams on the table. Andy looked Corinne joined them. “Is your hand sore?” she over at the bar hoping the bartender no- asked sympathetically. ticed the commotion and would come to Mack smiled at her. “I'm fine, really.” he said. help. But no help from that quarter. Con- “But thank you very much.” scious of Corinne looking at him, he knew “You should soak it in cold water so it doesn't it was his turn. He stood up. swell up!” Corinne said. She asked the waitress for “Look. Will you please leave us alone?” he said. some water and a cloth. “You wanna step outside?” Johnson said. Andy wondered if the hand in question was injured that bad Regretting it immediately, not knowing why he said it, Andy to warrant such attention. He noticed Mack studying Corinne's responded. face as she tended to his hand. He thanked her over and over “Sure.” again for her attention. Johnson led the way to the parking lot, Andy following, won- “You’re being awfully nice,” he said. dering how long it would take his bruises to heal. He resisted the ”It’s nothing,” she said. temptation to take the opposite direction and duck out the back. “What’s your name?” Johnson stormed ahead across the dance floor, pushing the “Corinne.” dancers aside. On his way he collided with a tall, wiry young man “Want to dance, Corinne?” dancing with a brunette half his size. The young man turned and Corinne smiled. “What about your girlfriend?” she asked. for an instant he smiled at Johnson, as if he were ready to excuse “She’s not my girlfriend,” he answered. “She's my cousin. him for a bad dance maneuver. When he saw the pusher was She has a boyfriend.” Johnson, he grabbed him by his shirt and shook him. “Isn’t your hand hurting too much to dance?” “You! You jerk!” he said. “You’ve been looking for trouble all “Not any more,” he assured her. “The water treatment fixed night, you know that?” He hurled Johnson at the open doorway. her all up.” Andy watched. He heard the man's dancing partner yelling, Andy watched them "Mack! Don’t! Come back here!” dance cheek-to-cheek the Mack shoved Johnson out the door and followed behind rest of the evening. Maybe the bully as he stumbled down three wooden steps to the outside this wasn't the luckiest day parking lot. Here Johnson met a fist to the left side of his head, of his life after all. followed by a rapid fire of punches to his body. By this time the tavern had emptied to watch the show. Andy was enjoying every punch when he became aware of Corinne and Ivy and Vince at his side, watching, speechless. Loud grunts and wheezes came from Johnson’s throat. They'd never counted on Mack doing this, he thought. Johnson’s beaten body slid down the side of a car to the asphalt, like the Titanic slipping into the sea. He lay on his side, then rolled on to his back, his eyes glazed. Mack backed away. There but for the grace of God go I, Andy thought. This has to be the luckiest day of my life.
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rady had his health, a woman who loved him, a good job t all started with the television set. The 24-inch model we had G and the money to pay his bills, with enough left over for I for over ten years wasn't good enough. We had to get a 52- modest luxuries like a vacation every few years and the pocket inch flat screen hi-def number. Then, of course, the old furniture change to buy a book or a slice of pizza whenever he felt like it. in the den wasn't right. The comfortable love seat we'd shared for Clara loved her life as well as years had to be replaced with something more stylish. In Grady, but she also enjoyed the fan- the old days, Susan would rest her head on my chest tasy of playing the lottery. She liked and I'd kiss the top of her head, and we'd watch TV that imagining what she'd do with wealth. way. With this new couch, we both spread out at oppo- To her credit, most of her dreams con- site ends and never even touch. sisted of giving much of the money My recliner had to go, too. I knew it was ripped and away. Grady loved that about her. we'd get rid of it eventually, but I figured we'd get another one just Still, he didn't like playing the lottery. "I don't want to tempt like it. But, no. Danish Modern was the way to go, the interior fate," he'd explain, hugging Clara for emphasis. "I have every- designer told Susan. She replaced it with this one-piece leather thing I want right now. It just seems wrong to want more." lounge. Now when I lay down on it, I feel like I'm waiting for the One day, Grady found himself in a casino. He and Clara doctor to check my prostate. were cruising the Caribbean and Clara loved to gamble, believing We won the lottery is what happened. Just under a million in some fairy-tale-everything-is-possible corner of her brain that if bucks after taxes. I still remember the night we found out. Susan she put a chip on 27 red and spun the roulette wheel, she'd win was half asleep on my chest while I matched the numbers flash- the $100,000 jackpot. At the same time, Grady tolerated playing ing on the TV screen to the ticket I had bought that morning. the slots because he was certain he wouldn't win. So he'd cash I just sat there with my mouth open, staring at the TV with- twenty dollars and press buttons mindlessly until the money ran out hearing anything, as if someone had clicked the mute on the out. That way he'd keep busy and not spoil Clara's fun. remote. Finally, I whispered, "Susie, I think we won. Big time." But gambling gods are, by definition, unpredictable. With a She looked up at me like I was speaking Greek. flick of an imaginary wand, Grady started winning — small "The lottery. We won. The kids' birthdays and our and an- amounts, at first, followed by larger amounts — until he needed a niversary numbers match." second bucket to hold his chips, and a third and fourth. A crowd "Sure. And I'm the Queen of Sheba." gathered. The more his adrenaline flowed, the more he won. So we went to the lottery site on the Internet and checked And the more he won, the more he dreamed of what to do with the winning numbers with the ticket. She started screaming and his winnings — quit his job, travel to small towns in Italy, buy a jumping up and down like when we were dating and we went to seasons ticket to Yankee games. see the Beatles at the old Shea Stadium. Meanwhile, Clara grew bored losing, preferring to be with This time, when she calmed down, she looked at me and the man she loved. She spotted him at the slots, surrounded by said, "After we put money away for the kids and the grandkids, people, as bells rang, whistles blew, and chips gushed from the we're buying a bigger TV set." machine, prompting a kiss from a woman. She watched Grady That's when I knew our comfortable little life was doomed. kiss her back. Wayne Scheer has locked himself in a room with his com- The gambling gods laughed and turned to an overweight puter and turtle since his retirement. (Wayne's, not the middle-aged woman playing the slots in another section of the turtle's.) To keep from going back to work, he's published casino. Her machine began to spout money and dreams while short stories, essays and poems, including Revealing Mo- Grady, like a man possessed, fed his winnings back into the ma- ments, a collection of flash stories, available at http:// chine. issuu.com/pearnoir/docs/revealing_moments. He's been nominated for four Pushcart Prizes and a Best of the Net.
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call that he owes me money." “Why's that?" "Well, one day he came in here and said he had to write another song for his next album. I wasn't anda sauntered into feelin' too sharp that day — my new false W Bobby Lee's bookstore/ teeth didn't fit — and I took them outta my cafe. There sat Bobby at a mouth while I talked to him about his prob- table. He waved and beckoned lem." to her. It'd been almost a year "Go on. " since last she'd had an oppor- "We was standin' at the tunity to visit her hometown — counter where someone had and Bobby Lee. left an LP of Ethel Waters "Hey, girl, welcome back home to singin' ‘Stormy Weather.’ I Lewiston. Have a seat." accidentally set down my "Thanks. Sure am glad to see choppers on the record cover. you! Need a few laughs with Bobby The little guy looked down and Lee. And I may want to hear some lo- stared hard for a second … cal talent. Who've you got performing then his head jerked up and here tonight?" he yelled, 'Like a bridge over "Couple of hip-hoppers. They can't sing for shit troubled waters! Thanks a heap, Bobby!' and he ran but they sure do like to rhyme!" out the door like a rabbit. "Hip-hop's not my thing," said Wanda. "I liked Next thing I knowed he was on the Ed Sullivan disco and Marvin Gaye back in the day." show singin' those same words with some tall skinny "And I go waaay back before y’all’s disco. I re- dude. Now, why're you laughin', girl?" member Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis. Sam Cooke and "You're claiming that Paul Simon owes you co- Fats Domino. Some of those guys did their thing writing credit for 'Like a Bridge Over Troubled Wa- right up there on our little stage. We'd get acts in ters?' Ha, ha, ha!" here that I'd see later on the Dick Clark show. You "You got no respect. Same old Wanda." too young, sugar." "Same old Bobby Lee," she replied. "Oh, Bobby Lee, you big flatterer! I just wish I were ‘too young.’ But ... didn't you tell me that Bob Dylan played here a couple times?" asked Wanda. ongtime SFV member Art "Yup. I even taught Bob Dylan some old chain L Yuwiler passed away gang songs." last month. "Don't you mean Johnny Cash, Bobby? That's Art was a scientific re- what I 'member you saying last time I heard you talk searcher and lecturer at about the old days," said Wanda with a smile. "You UCLA for several years. helped Cash learn your granddaddy’s chain gang When he retired, he songs. Isn’t that what you told me?" wrote fiction, poetry, and "Oh, mebbe you’re right. So many new kids fashioned a variety of art works. been here in the past fifty years. Got confused. But Dave Wetterberg and Claude Baxter will write I definitely do recall a little white guy with a real about their close friend and colleague for the April smooth voice, who went on TV and got famous. Still issue of this newsletter. — KH sells records. Lessee ... now, what's his name? I re-
CWC/SFV 13 MARCH 2012
March madness Rude and harsh, March madness Playing games is here; Shake my trees; Torrential rains drown my grass Naked branches shiver without leaves Weeds come up for air. Pleading With the sun to warm their fear, Hoping For the wind to disappear.
Angry winds Rattle my windows Like diamond dust: March madness Shattered glass falls, Implacable and harsh, Murmuring secrets Loosens tiles on my roof, Before night ends. Leaving layers of wounded pieces Scattered without mercy To a heap by my door.
MEETINGS The California Writers Club meets the first Saturday of the month except July and August at the Motion Picture and Television Fund complex:
Villa Katzenberg 23388 Mulholland Woodland Hills, CA 91364-2733 NEXT MEETING
Saturday, March 3rd, at 1:00 p.m.
c/o Contents copyrighted by the respective authors.
Unattributed articles copyrighted by CWC/SFV.
Free parking is available in cwc-sfv.org a large lot behind the Katzenberg Room. Look for the trombone statue — that’s the CWC/SFV parking lot.
CWC/SFV 14 MARCH 2012