eve r yone h a s a s to r everyon e y •

BtB empowers the next generation of readers and writers by nurturing critical thinking, Frederick academy III Douglass creativity, and self-confidence in our students. has

www.behindthebook.org a story

by 9th grade Students at Frederick Douglass academy III everyon e has

a story

by Students in Ms. Jacques, Mr. Faust and Ms. Paul’ s ELa classes at FDaIII

Behind The Book | New York Behind the Book’s mission is to develop engaged readers and writers in underserved NYC public schools by designing and delivering programs that are multi-disciplinary, culturally responsive, and promote deeper connections to books and their authors.

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© 2020 Behind the Book Behind the Book • 216 West 135th Street • New York, NY 10030 This book is dedicated to the new incoming freshmen to help them see that even if you don’t have any idea how to write a narrative and tell your story, you can do it! Thank you to Ms. Jacques,

Visiting Author: Paul Griffin Mr. Faust, and Ms. Paul, for Teachers: Ms. Nadiene Jacques Sierra, Mr. Michael Faust, believing in us and for pushing Ms. Stephane Paul Principal: Mr. Jamal Carlos us to speak about these Program Liaison: Mr. John Heneghan moments in our lives. Volunteers: Andrew Beaudoin, Jordan Goldstein, Emily Hime, Meriam Lobel, Sara Reynolds, Brad Rodney, Nomi Schwartz, Jim Wiggins

Program Coordinator: Christine Fleming Teaching Artists: Candice Humphries, Barbara Coccioletti Drama Consultant: Karen Butler To the incredible writer Art Director: Nina Dunhill Book Designer: Kristyn Kalnes Paul Griffin who taught us how to Printing: BR Printers; coordinated by Kathleen McCourt make a story out of anything and and Lauren Parrott to Behind the Book for giving us a Special Thanks, Amazon volunteers: David Biderman, chance to tell our stories. Chris Casey, Maya Jabbour, Paul Leakas, Mohsen Malik, Arif Razvi, Samantha Reiss

In the interest of honoring student voice, Behind the Book presents students’ work as received from the teacher.

This book was made possible by a generous grant from The Korein Foundation.

ii iii about the Program Contents

How do we turn our strongest memories into compelling stories? The 9th PErIOD 1 PErIOD 3 PErIOD 6 PErIOD 7 grade ELA students explored crafting their own memories into stories by Sendy...... 4 Henry...... 38 Monay...... 66 Melany...... 102 reading Ten Mile River by Paul Griffin.The novel is a story of the friendship and Diana...... 6 Laysha...... 40 Makyla...... 69 Tyriq...... 104 struggles of two homeless youths, José and Ray, living in an abandoned building in upper Manhattan. As tension creeps into their relationship, Ray must find an Rosa...... 8 Luis...... 42 Alaysia...... 70 Richard...... 106 identity and future separate from José and Ten Mile River. Themes of choice Kevin...... 10 Attoria...... 44 Brenda...... 72 Terron...... 109 and consequence are woven throughout the novel. Yohenny...... 12 Leshawn...... 46 Fanta...... 74 Anthony S...... 110 Before author Paul Griffin first visited the classroom, the students met Ashley...... 14 Mikolo...... 48 Daren...... 77 Jalen...... 112 with Behind the Book drama consultant Karen Butler. She guided the students Maritza...... 16 Tyquaisha...... 50 Ishaliqua...... 78 Lissette...... 114 through activities that deepened connections to plot and character. When Paul Laura...... 18 Jose...... 52 Nyjhae...... 80 Keychaun...... 116 met with the students, they were prepared with thoughtful, specific ques- Bayaan...... 20 Jonathan...... 54 Anthony P...... 81 Ezekiel...... 118 tions about various characters and plot lines. He then shared his story of how Celena...... 22 Nevaeh...... 56 Jasmine...... 82 Angeleen...... 120 and why he started writing. He told them, “Writing is music. I want to hear Marisol...... 24 Bruce...... 58 Victor...... 84 Jason...... 122 language.” Cesiah...... 26 Katay...... 60 Emily...... 86 Danielle...... 124 Students began writing their narratives about something unforgettable that April...... 28 Yarely...... 88 Brian...... 126 had happened to them. They were instructed to include the specifics of what Scarlin...... 30 Iriana...... 89 Shymel...... 128 happened and what made the event so hard to forget. During Paul’s second Marifer...... 32 Savanna...... 90 Ashley...... 130 visit, he looked at their first drafts and offered suggestions for developing their ideas and strengthening their writing. Malleik...... 92 Caleb...... 131 With the help of Behind the Book volunteers working in small groups, Kyamani...... 93 students refined their personal narratives, focusing on story arcs and critical Najae...... 94 details. Behind the Book teaching artists Candice Humphries and Barbara Coc- Marcus...... 96 cioletti then helped the students create vibrant collages reflecting aspects of Kiara...... 98 memory from their writing. We hope you “hear the language” and view the art to appreciate all the thought and work that resulted in this book.

About the Visiting Author...... 133 About Behind the Book...... 133 Common Core Learning Standards...... 133

iv v PErIOD 1

vi PErIOD 1

2 3 son Daniel, she helped my mom with Sendy everything she had to do because my aunts were working, so they tried to give me something to eat because I had not eaten anything, the vomit- Homesick ing was falling apart and I started eat well, then as in the afternoon Yvany I used to go out with my mom’s Sendy Paty’s husband arrived at my house friend Paty a lot, I also used to go to to take me to the hospital to check her house to play with her son Daniel me out what I had, time passed and and talked with her daughter Gaby they told my mother that it was (Gabriela), I really liked being with nothing serious that everything is them. She and her husband Yovany fine and I It’s better, when I left the used to invite me to go out with the hospital they took me to my house, family on weekends, I had a great and then I got hungry and started time, we went to rivers, parks but eating very well, everything was where we lived the most was the fine. the next day I was as if noth- rivers we ate, we played. The river ing had happened to me, everything where we live is called “Cangrejal remained normal, the next day I went River” we used to go to that river a to church, and there I met her. lot, the river was beautiful the water Hi sister paty (so we say to the is transparent, there are rocks in the church member) water and avia very different but Hello sendy how do you feel? beautiful rocks, everything you see in I feel good sister, thank God and the water was seen, the Heaven was how are you? always beautiful, it was light blue, it I’m fine thank God was practically paradise. After everything continued nor- One day I woke up very badly, mal, they invited me to rivers, to eat with a fever, a headache, my body with the family, ect, a few years later was weak, I just wanted to go to bed, we came to the United States. I couldn’t eat because I was vomiting. my mom called Paty and brought her

4 5 I said, “Say whatever you want She was not surprised and gave diana because I know that I didn’t steal it.” me that look that showed me that and I Was showing off. I been going crazy for no reason. “I I was so happy and every time I have the ring,” she said. looked at the ring, I would be think- I started to cry because I thought Mom’s Ring ing, Will I ever get one like this from that I lost it and when I know that diana someone who loves me? And I love him? my mom found it I was thanking God My mom had this beautiful gold ring, When I was going home, I tried and then I asked, “Mom where did I always wanted to wear it. That ring my best to hide the ring inside my you find it?” shined every time I looked at it, Espe- jacket so no one could see it and steal She said, “I find at the top of the cially that diamond in the middle of it from me. sink in the bathroom.“ the ring. Every time I look at it I just Everything was fine until I got I remembered that when I come wanted to wear it more and more. home and realized my mom’s ring home and went to use the bathroom One day my Mom told me that was not on my finger. At first, I was to wash my hands. I took it off and this ring is really important to her thinking, What if someone stole it from put it in the top of the bathroom because my dad gave her that ring my hand when I was on the bus? I was sink. when they get married, shaking I started looking for it eve- I was relieved and I promised One time, my mom was in good rywhere in the house. I was nervous, myself that I will never wear or use mood and when she was sitting in sweating, going crazy trying to find something that is so important or is the living room, I took the chance the ring. I knew my mom was going not my stuff. and I told her about what I wanted. to get mad at me. I knew I was going “Mom? Can I wear your wedding to be in big trouble by mom and dad ring for one day? I promise I will not When mom walk up from her lose it,” I said. nap, she was looking at me so weirdly She said, “Okay but don’t lose it. like, Why are you so panicking like this? This ring is important to me,” Then, my mom knew I was looking I said, “Okay mom I will not lose for something because I was looking it.” under the couch. Then she asked me, I was not confident about saying “What are you looking for?“ I’m not going to lose it. I stood in my spot look at my mom. I wanted to lie and say, “I’m The next day I went to school and looking for my phone,” but I couldn’t showed my friends the ring. because I told myself that’s a lie, then One of my friends said, “Wow I told her that I lost the ring. that’s so cool.” Other friends that I don’t like said, “Your mom let you wear it, or you stole it from her.”

6 7 trouble and make fun of anything I did. it’s something that YOU should be rosa Once they locked me out of the room working hard on. and the assistant principal caught me I started working hard when I and I had to get detention for two days. entered High School and I realized that I got my parents called and everything. I want to become a better person, get Doubts I tried telling Ms. S, “They locked my diploma, graduate and get into a me out the class, if it was me then good college because I know it’ll make Growing up people always made me they would’ve opened the door, but my parents proud because they were doubt myself and made me feel like they just laughed” Why me? Everything’s not able to get the education that I’m I’m not smart enough and that I’ll always turned on me. getting today and it’s something that never accomplish anything in life. I was I was angry, I turned red. I looked should not be taken advantage of. I never really good at math or English at everybody with raging look and I spoke to my parents about my dreams throughout my time in elementary and stormed out of the classroom going after high school which is moving to middle school. English was not my first into the assistant principal’s office. I Atlanta and going to college there. rosa language so learning it was a struggle. stared at her with an enraged face. I They said that once I graduate, we It was hard for me to comprehend wanted to defend myself, but I didn’t can go over there and they’ll help me things like everyone else. People had want to get in any more trouble. I find an apartment. People brought me always accused me of cheating off went into the classroom and whenever down and made me stop caring about “my friends” which was false. People someone tried talking to me, I would my education which is something I would call me stupid, make fun of my get angry and take my anger out on wish I never let them do. My mom physical appearance, etc. For example, them. is my biggest inspiration, she makes I felt so insecure and ashamed of my Soon then, state test rolled around me care less about what people think own self because of my skin. I never for science, I was really nervous because of me and reminds me that I can do felt comfortable with people looking I didn’t know how well I was going to better than they can, she is a hard- at me or even talking to me. There was perform. People had tried cheating off working woman and I don’t ever want this staff called Mr. Martin who would me, asking for help, etc. To sum up, I to let her down. I’ve realized that going doubt me for everything and would ended up getting higher test scores than to college can help you get more job always tell me, the people who I supposedly “cheated opportunities; my dream is to finish “When you get to high school off” which wasn’t surprising to me at all college and join the military and maybe you’re not going to change and you’re but it sure was to everyone else. become an orthodontist when I’m still going to be coming late to school I told my science teacher Mr. done. every day and keep on missing days.” Awumey, “I told you I can do it, just My math teacher told me to join I told him, “Okay, and?” because I don’t participate often, it the military because I’m really good at He always gave me an attitude and doesn’t mean I don’t know anything!” math, especially graphing which can despised me for no reason. It embar- Mr. Awumey told me, “I know, I be useful. I thought to myself, maybe rassed me because a lot of teachers and had more confidence in you than the I should… I’m strong and I have an uncle staff would hear. I tried not to show rest of the people here” which shocked who was in the marines who can train me. my emotions, but I was hurt inside me because I always felt as though he I learned that people will try to by the rude things he would tell me. believed I wouldn’t do well and that I put you down so they can feel better I would miss school days when my wasn’t smart like the rest of the people about themselves. I learned to be more skin would get worse because I knew in my class. Woah. I didn’t know I was confident in myself even if I don’t feel people would judge me and it’s not capable of doing this well at all. I was so the best, I know that I can push myself something I wanted. I was stressed out happy and proud of myself, I showed harder to become the person that and it made my face worse, I didn’t off and told people to not doubt me. everyone thought I was never going to feel like myself. People would find any Soon after, I graduated and moved be. After all, I’ll never let anybody make bad and offensive names to call me. on to High School. Then, I thought to me doubt myself ever again, it is im- At one point I was always called really myself and realized that I shouldn’t portant to have confidence in yourself “skinny”, but I was short, and I grew let people put me down and made me because people will always try anything so that problem was resolved. My realize that your education is some- to put you down. classmates would set me up to get in thing you should not be ignoring and

8 9 ”AHHHHHHHHHHH,” I yelled In my head I’m just telling myself kevin loudly when my head hit the stairs. Why does this hurt so bad? Out of all ”OH MY GOD!!!!” Luz yelled. people why did this have to happen to Blood gushed everywhere on the me? I started throwing a tantrum, I floor with me just yelling and crying. didn’t want them to do another one Cracking My My sister got me inside the house because it hurt so bad. My mom was kevin Head Open! and my mom was just so scared and holding me down and telling me to she grabbed a rag and placed it on bite on my sweater and that it will “Ugh I’m so bored,” I said on a warm the back of my head to try to stop help. I did it and it still hurt so much normal day on the weekend. My the blood from gushing out. I was but I let them do it. There were three sister Luz had come over and were just crying and yelling out. I’m just staples in my head. really close, so we like to play a lot. thinking to myself, is it really over? After that they said we can go So we were bored and we asked My mom called the ambulance home, and we did. When we got back our mom if we could play in the and they came and put a white wrap my sister looked so scared and guilty backyard and it has like a little play- around my head. I was just getting because she thought she almost ground in the backyard and my mom more tired by the second. ”You can’t killed her little brother. Then she said “yes.’’ go to sleep Kevin.’’ my mom said. came and hugged me tight. Me and my sister went to the ”But I’m tired, Ma.” “I’m so sorry Kevin. This is all backyard and we were playing tag ”I know you are, but you can’t my fault I should’ve never did that but then we stopped and went to the go to sleep.” and have you copy me”. stairs and she was swinging on the I’m just laying down tired and “It’s okay Luz I’m fine. Let’s railing and jumping down. So me be- then when we get there and we go in watch a movie,” I said. ing me, of course, I copy her and try the hospital and I almost fall asleep After that day I knew to never to do the same thing but this time but I try staying up so I do. They copy anyone again and to never go it was different from what my sister pulled out a stapler to staple my head back there in the backyard again. did. When I did it, I grabbed the and I think it’s nothing so I let them railing and swung but leaned back by put the first staple. accident and flung backwards then *CLICK* my head hit the metal red stairs. ”AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- HHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

10 11 The next day, my mom got a call and not be sad around my family, just Yohenny from my uncle, “Dad is really bad you thinking he would be in a better place. need to come right now,’’ with frustra- I got home my mom was in her tion he said. room crying getting ready to go to the We pull up to the hospital, me funeral then she told me to get ready, and my mom look at each other with we went to the funeral when i went The Cardiac a worried face, we went to his room, inside everyone was wearing black, Monitor I stood there for a good five minutes and there was my grandfather in a more, just staring at him knowing that white coffin with a black suit he look so That cardiac monitor sound brings might be the last time I see him. After pale and skinny that if you had a long me memories of my grandfather lying an hour the cardiac monitor made a time without seeing him you couldn’t down in bed seeing him die. It started sound doctors came to the room took even recognize him. Just having that with my grandfather grandma giving a my grandfather out of the room feeling that he was the one who was Yohenny genetic problem of cancer in my family This can’t be happening, I told there the whole time with me since I and that’s when the nightmare started, myself. was born and now see him died just my grandfather was a 60 year old man All my family members started like that with not even saying goodbye victim of cancer he never wanted his crying, Tears started coming out run- just broke my heart and seeing all my family worried too much, He always ning down through my cheeks, family members that live far gathered acted like everything was fine even if He is gonna be fine, I told myself. together, I never wanted my whole he knew it was not. Me and my mom After a good 30 minutes of standing family to gather together in a place like went to the hospital my aunt came out outside of the room my grandfather that and in a moment like that seeing and pulled my mom away from me. was in, the doctors came out. all of them crying. I sit down, stayed “I don’t think he gonna make it,’’ “We are gonna be honest with you there just looking at that white coffin crying she said. guys,” the doctor said. tears coming out like crazy hearing eve- While I was hearing everything “He didn’t made it” the doctor ryone crying it was just the worst day my mind went blank, I was just think- mumbled. of my life. Everything is gonna be fine. He ing about all the good moments that My mind went blank for a few sec- is always gonna be in my heart and he is me and my grandfather had together. onds, This can’t not be happening to ME. going to be in a better place, I always told Then I saw my mom crying I acted like I Me and my family went to my grandfa- myself, My cousin came up to me didn’t hear anything. ther’s room there was him, lying down “I know our whole family is in “Mami que paso, Porque lloras?” I in bed with that white blanket I was so a bad moment right now but we said, knowing what was happening. devastated that I run up to his bed and gonna get through this together,” she “I am going to be honest with hug him I knew that was my last time I mumbled. you,” with sadness in her face, she said. hugged him. I just stared at her look at round “Is grandpa ok” I said. Come on, he’s gonna be in a better seeing all my family friends that where “He is not, your auntie told me he place, I said to myself. I looked at my there even some of my friends that might not make it,” she mumbled. mom, tears were slowly coming down were there for us, I never thought so I just stayed quiet, we went to his through her cheeks, I hug her tight, many people would be for us in a moment room it was full of my family members my family started facetiming my other like this. Me and my family went home and there was my grandfather lying family members that couldn’t make it i went to my room, I couldn’t hold my down in bed with a big white blanket to the hospital and tell them the news, tears just remembering that white cof- everyone with sadness in their face, I my mom stayed in the hospital my dad fin and that moment when the cardiac felt like I was in a funeral. I walk up to pick me up from the hospital because I monitor started beeping, my little my grandfather bed I hug him. had school the next day. brother as 6 years old, he came up to “Hola abuelo,” I mumbled. me when he saw me crying in my room. He didn’t answer me back. I was The next day my mom isn’t home “Don’t cry our grandfather is hoping so bad he would answer me and yet, my dad woke me up and started to going to be in a better place and he is say Hola mi nieta but he never did, I get me and my little brother ready for always gonna be with us in our hearts.’’ grab his hands it was so soft like cotton school I didn’t want to go but I had an hugging me, he said. candy, My grandpa and my mom where important exam, when I got to school Then I realized that we all need to like bestfriends. everyone knew something bad hap- go to those hard times and that we all pened my face expressed everything, I gonna end up in the same place and couldn’t even concentrate on the exam that my grandfather always is going to i try not to cry but tears always came be in my heart. out from my eyes i tried to stay strong

12 13 I knew she said this to cheer us up, after spending time with her but came ashley and it did for some time. But again, I back frequently. I talked to her even was back to thinking. I wanted to go when I wasn’t with her, feeling that a back and stay there with my mom, but heavyweight had been lifted every time we also couldn’t join her in there be- that I did because I knew that she was Hospital Walls cause it was risky, and hospitals weren’t well. I knew that she would get better really my thing. because she was strong. I want her to get I was standing in my kitchen in sud- better already, A sudden sadness came den shock. My mom had just called. We arrived at Burger King, I remem- over me. I imagine what she must have Wearing a hospital gown, she was ber the smell of fried food. “What do been going through. laying there. Without saying anything, you guys want to order?” Grandma All of her family had been hoping I screamed and ran over to my sister. I asked. for her to get better. My sister and I ashley was frantic. We hopped together excit- I gestured toward the biggest especially. We helped each other out edly. Overfilling joy slowly creeping up burger. “I want that one.” by comforting each other. We were all our hearts. My sister pointed toward the one waiting for a call. Finally, a call comes At home, I was listening to my stuffed with bacon. “And I want that through it’s my mom favorite song while doing the chores one.” She says, “Guys, I’m fine and that that were expected to do that evening. I tried eating quickly so we could she just needs some recovering.” I wasn’t expecting anything that day, go back, but it didn’t end well. I soon “Great I really needed to hear that,” not even a call from mother saying she got a stomach ache. When she finally I replied honestly, “I was really worried was getting surgery. stepped out, I was alleviated, and we about your health.” For months we had been waiting went back and spent the rest of the She sighed, “You don’t have to any- for my mom to get better. She had night together. more I will get better very soon, I still been rushing in and out of dialysis. My mom continued to go to have to go to dialysis though.” Drinking soda every day when she was dialysis, but my sister and I didn’t go young made her really sick and had with her. We kept in touch after that to I was so grateful that she was good, to get hospitalized. The doctors told see how she was doing and so far, she but still had questions. I told my sister. us she needed to get a new kidney, was doing well. She then had my baby She happily replied or she could easily get really sick with brother Matthew, who had led her to “Really?” She was smiling too and only one. We remained in the hospital, have problems with her kidney again. told us that she might heal in about waiting for someone to donate. Finally, So again, she was in the hospital wait- three months. Three months was too my grandmother decided she wanted ing for surgery. We immediately visited long for me, but I was still happy. to give hers. She got the surgery, Taking her. She is really skinny, I thought, I really We continue to wait but progress really good care of her after that. Sadly, hope this treatment doesn’t last long. It has been made, Mother had gotten the it didn’t last because she needed a must hurt a lot, tubes out of her arm, but still had to donor again. “Hey mom,” She looked at me as I have one going through her collarbone. Our grandmother took us to a fast pointed to her arm, “Does that hurt?” She was getting better. Our family has food restaurant while we waited for “I have already gotten used to it.” been less stressed about her and so her. I worried because I didn’t know She looked at the tubes going through have my sister and me. She thankfully what they did to her there. As we her arm like veins. “But yes, it does doesn’t drink as much soda anymore walked to the Burger King our grand- hurt...a lot.” which can help her the healing process. mother exclaimed, I felt my heart drop every time I saw Hopefully, she won’t need surgery “Your cousin used to go to this her blood go through the tubes. Don’t again in the future. From this, I have school before he moved to Alaska. mention it again. since been more aware of my well-be- He was quite troublesome when he “So anyway… Do you remember last ing as well as hers. Now I care not only studied here.” Mother’s Day?” I asked, to break the of my mom but also of myself because We laughed and replied, “I remem- awkward silence dwelling the room. of this entire experience. ber you used to pick him up here.” My mom and my sister looked at me and smiled. We all remember. I loved those times. I sighed. We left

14 15 I then heard a door slamming He then proceeded to keep the Maritza shut. My curiosity got the best of me, picture. This immediately boosted so I went to check once again what my self-confidence and made me like was happening. As I was walking to a genuine person. Since that day, I my living room, I found my dad on learned to use art as a way to cheer Untitled the couch, head in his hands. I quietly others up. And so, I did just that with walked back to my room and tried to my family members, such as my mom It was one cloudy evening and I was think of ideas that would make my and my sister. And even my own just about to enter the kitchen until I dad feel better. A couple minutes friends as well whenever they were heard noises coming from my broth- later I came up with the idea to draw feeling down. I would draw things er’s room. I struggled to make it clear my dad a picture. Taking a loose-leaf like their favorite animals or charac- as to what was going on, so I decided from my binder, I started drawing. ters from their favorite T.V show, or to quietly rest my head on the door. I I drew a huge heart that read the even their idols. Maritza was beginning to hear my dad talking words “I love you” on the inside, then As my dad was preparing to leave, to my brother, slowly raising his voice my dad and I at the bottom of the we shared a goodbye. When he left, more and more. paper, right below the heart. Before I went to my room, took out a loose- “Why do you have to be so angry, walking out the door I prayed my dad leaf paper and a pencil, and began to what have I ever done to you?” yelled would like it. draw more and more pictures my dad “Here goes nothing,” I said as I Ugh, what did my brother do now? walked out of my room, starting to My brother was always naturally feel confident that my dad would ap- a grumpy person and would often prove of my drawing. After handing get it trouble for just that. My family it to him, I waited for his reaction. would usually call him out for his I was starting to get nervous after behavior, and I wouldn’t dare to lay a a while, thoughts rushing through foot in his room whenever he’s hav- my head. That ended when my dad ing a bad day. My greatest instincts finally gave me a response after were to go to my room and not listen observing the childish picture, I drew to their conversation anymore other- him. He ended up saying “Thank wise I would feel terrible for both of you” numerous times with a smile them, which I do. plastered on his face.

16 17 Then five minutes later I rushed Then he was like, “Oh you buy Laura out of the shower and got changed them.” so we could go out. At that time I didn’t have that We go outside it was hot and much money to buy the shoes. We sunny. We walked through Creston kept talking about the shoes for Untitled down to Fordham. It was a long walk hours and my dad was like, “Okay I to Fordham. There was a lot of peo- will not buy you the shoes you want One day I was saving some money to ple that day in the sidewalk. too much from m because I paid for buy myself a new backpack because Then I could see the store and we you bookbag.” the backpack was like $76 and I didn’t walked to the store and we make it Then I tell him, “Why did you have that much money to buy it, so I to the store and saw a lot of back- had to buy the bookbag? I’m happy tell my dad how much it was. packs that were cute but and I said to that you did that for me I love it, but But one day I was in my room and myself, I will never buy them. I want to buy my own bookbag with my dad called me. I see the store we go inside and I my money not yours.” Laura “Laura come here. Where do they look for the backpack that I want it Then he starts saying that I want sell the backpack you want?’ but I didn’t find it so I look for anoth- to spend all his money. I was thinking what to say to him er one and I liked it so when I went After that I learned a lesson: don’t because I have to pick a store because to pay for it. The woman showed me ask for too much. They are doing all there is a lot of stores that sell back- how much it was. I was only missing this to give you what they can so you pack, so I said it was Modell’s the $1 so I can pay for my backpack. can be happy with the things that closest to my house because I didn’t Then the thing I didn’t know was they give you. want to walk that much. that my dad was going to pay for it. Thank you dad for buying me that My dad was laying down in his I was so happy that he paid for my bookbag. I love it. boxers looking at me with a face backpack. that he was mad about something. But one week later some nice I didn’t know that he had to plan shoes came out and I wanted them to buy me the backpack because I so bad and I asked my dad to buy was like, Omg I’m going to buy my own them for me but he was like, “No I backpack, so my dad doesn’t have to pay got you a backpack.” for my book bag. ”But I want the shoes that only cost $119”.

18 19 When we went, they gave as After that year the NWCFC was Bayaan uniforms. We changed into them and gone. There was a soccer team, but that was when we saw the player. not as good as what the NYCFC was There was this soccer game in the like so I didn’t join. They were not stadium a lot of people watching. Aa even that serious to play as I was so I Soccer lot of my friends were told to go with did not do any other sport till the 7th the players. They picked three kids, grade. It was track since my friends My name is Bayaan and this is a story me included. We were told to go with thought I was fast so I gave it a shot. I about how I became better and more the mayor. I was able to get a picture didn’t feel as I did when playing soc- confident at playing soccer it was taken with us shaking hands. he held cer, but it was still fun I made some hard, but I was able to make it. our hands and walked to the middle new friends. When I came to America, I was a of the field, He gave an announce- I did some throughout 8th grade, Bayaan decent enough soccer player. When I ment I liked it because it wasn’t that graduated. Now in high school, I was in the 4th grade and heard there long after that the game started we joined the soccer team. It was a lot was a soccer team. I joined because I were told we could stay and watch different than middle school. They didn’t know that much about basket- but all my life in soccer or any sport I were too bossy: do this, do that. It ball or other sports. When I joined it never did like watching so I left. was too much. But one of my friends was actually really fun. After that day, we did some more kept cheering me on, so I didn’t want I know I said I was decent at practice and the year ended. to let him down. playing soccer, but the couch taught I learned to cooperate with the us how to play. it really made sense. I was then in 5th grade. I joined team and in return made me better They worked with this group called the same soccer team. The drills were at playing. They sometimes show the NYCFC while we were there. different because we were now in the me tricks I should do while playing They didn’t just teach us how to play 5th grade. We learned a lot. a game. So I learned to be better at soccer, they taught us about how to Around the same time as before, something, you have to go through eat healthy among other things. we were given a slip. This time they some hardships and don’t give up They gave us slips to an event. It actually told as what we were doing why when the reward you well get was for us to meet at the gates of the so when we went through the same for trying will be amazing. Yankee Stadium. When I went in, I procedure, everybody was mostly didn’t know what I was supposed to doing the same thing. But for me this do. They told me and my dad to fol- time I had a chance to go with the low we walked through this hole why player. a lot of people were preparing.

20 21 My mom grabbed my brother I looked around and responded, Celena and got him his hat, pants, and coat. “She is in the supermarket.” The taxi called. “I am here,” giv- Then both of us just went ing his last, “beep-beep”. straight to the kitchen. She grabbed I just responded with an “Okay,” her phone and sat. I made some pan- The Baby Blue and told my mom “Bye, take care.” cakes and she ate them all up. I just Inhaler She responded with a nervous remember how happy she was. Just smile. “We will be fine” seeing her like that I was a bit sad The color of the baby blue inhaler And just took my brother to the thinking about what could happen if reminded me of my little brother’s hospital. I wanted to go but who was my mom didn’t take my brother to face. going to stay with my sister? So, I the hospital. But then I said to myself, It all started in a hot summer. stayed. Stop thinking of what didn’t happen and Me, my little brother Aaron of two I was wondering if I would I ever just be thankful that he is okay. years old who had a lot of problems see my brother scream again. I was Thinking all about that even my of flu since he was one year old, and just thinking that a simple flu could sister went to the bathroom to brush my little sister Bianca of five years old converted into the worst nightmare her teeth. I was just like, Wow she and my mom were in the living room for someone that you love a lot. never does that. I finished my break- sitting down to have a typical day. As Then I just told myself, He would be fast, picked up our dishes, and went always, my mom and I we were mind- okay. Right now, you have a sister to to the kitchen to wash the dishes. ing our own business being in our worry about. Just prepare dinner for your I finished with that I started Celena phones. I was watching DIY videos sister. cleaning my whole house. Around on YouTube and my mom was on I was still crying/upset that I 12:30 pm I heard a knock-knock on Facebook. Everything seemed alright couldn’t go with him and be there the door. I opened the door without like a regular day in my house. with him. It was already 12:00 Am. even asking “Who is it?” My little siblings were watching I texted my mother. “How is Seeing my brother was like Sponge Bob. Out of nowhere, Aaron Aaron doing?” I said. not seeing him in years because started coughing. I wasn’t worry or She responded, “We have to stay Aaron and I, we are like gum stuck to anything at the time because he had the whole night at the hospital, but together even though he is 2 and I problems of coughing before. Then he is okay.” am 14 and we are separated because I was getting a bit worried because I was relieved with what my of school. But every time I come the coughing was getting worse and mom said. I texted back, “Okay back from school he comes saying worse. Mami. I would see you tomorrow.” “Ce-ne-na” My sister was just there standing I just started thanking God that Just that word makes my day! there without knowing anything, and my brother was okay. I was just remembering what I was just shocked that he was getting I made sure my sister had fin- would be of me without him I hug a fever. My mom calmed it with some ished her milk and cereal. I washed him and just feeling that the hug Ibuprofen to get the fever down. I the dishes and went straight to my really meant something. I was feeling was relieved that it did. bed and fell asleep. like I was on the softest blanket! And Everything went back to normal, I woke up at 9:00 am. Seeing my then me and my mom just gave each but then at night, his coughing and house so empty without my mom other a look and smile of that every- the fever got worse. Sponge Bob and my brother felt weird. My sister thing is back to normal. was still playing. He was screaming. was still asleep, so I went straight to Until right now he is going great My mom was freaking out. She was my closet and changed my pjs. Then I but that sometimes he got to use an walking around the house nervously. went to the kitchen and made some- inhaler because of little problems but I called the taxi. thing for me and my sister. he is okay and that’s what am thank- She woke up and said “Where’s ful for. Mami?” 22 23 I tried going back to sleep after After a while I realized that I Marisol she woke me up, but I couldn’t should have never said that because because she was still talking. I got up she has been there for me since day from my bed brushed my teeth, took one and my father has never been a shower then did my hair. in my life so I thought that was a untitled After that I made my break- very bad thing to say because she’s fast then washed my dishes. I then the woman who gave me life. I’m A time when I said something I re- grabbed the broom and mop and never in need of anything and I have gretted was when me and my mother started cleaning. I was really just go- everything I need. But because I was got into an argument. ing to stay in bed all day, but I didn’t upset, I said it. Marisol It was on the weekend, a Sunday want her to be upset with me. When I said that she stood quiet morning. I was so tired, didn’t even I then put some clothes on and went into her room. I felt bad want to get up from my bed. All day and went to the store to buy candy. and decided to speak to her about Saturday I was so busy helping out When I came back home, I went the situation. I told her I didn’t take my aunt because she was moving. inside my room. her money, but before I even contin- My body was so sore from moving Five minutes later, she knocks ued to talk, she said, “I’m sorry for things around and carrying these on the door and asks, “Where did blaming it on you, or even thinking really big heavy boxes. So, I thought you get the money to buy the candy that you could have stolen from me, Sunday was going to be my day to from?” i realized that i had spent the money tranquilize. I told her, “My aunt gave me a couple of days ago on some things Then my mom came into my money, since I was helping her.” for the house.” room telling me to wake up and start She thought I had taken her I felt relieved because at least cleaning. I told her I was tired and money because said she was missing she didn’t continue to think stole her that I just wanted to sleep for a cou- money from her wallet. I had no clue money, and knew what she did with ple more hours, but she didn’t care. where that money went because I it. She didn’t even place confidence in didn’t take it. At that point I was so me when I told her that I was with upset because I didn’t like the fact my aunt helping her since she was that she blamed me for taking her moving. My aunt had asked her if I money. I told her I wanted to leave could help, so I didn’t get the point the house and move in with my fa- as to why she thought I was lying. ther because I was so mad and I just wanted to leave.

24 25 park. The sound of our flip flops clacking I held my breath for a few seconds against the ground made us sound like in what felt like a lifetime. How could I be cesiah old grandmas walking around a house at drowning with a life jacket on? I felt foolish. night. My nose rushed with water. Then the “Yea but there’s one more thing to sound of my name coming from my sister end the day.” I heard from behind me. It sounded foggy due to the water clogging Gasp for Air was my sister. in my ears. I wanted to say, “Help!”, but I The Rapid River. It was a fast-mov- couldn’t gasp for air. I love going on summer vacations. I’ve ing stream of water. I thought it would I couldn’t get myself to float and always wanted to actually enjoy the cool be similar to a lazy river except this time that’s what I was what doing wrong. I was water on a hot day, and Volcano Bay was you were to where a life jacket and the panicking instead of relaxing. I could see the place to do that. Me and my family water went at a quicker speed. I felt weird my sister trying to grab on to me, but the were headed to Orlando Florida which knowing that I didn’t want to go even if water kept moving. is far from where I live. It took almost I was wearing a life jacket. I’ve never even “Cesi-”. I couldn’t make out the rest, two to three hours to fly over on a plane. used a life jacket in my life before. But I saw but I knew she was trying to help me. cesiah Though I’ve never been on a plane I knew four-year olds get on, so I didn’t want After what felt like a lifetime of it was going to be worth the wait. to make a fool out of myself and stay splashing and struggling a blurred image It was a family trip. My two sisters, behind. of a man in red shorts began to clarify my mother, and uncle and his girlfriend. “Come on, it’s not that scary!” they as I was being pulled out of the water. I Being on trip with my family means begged. gave a few coughs as my nose began to everything to me. It just isn’t happy or fun My expression made it look like I burn from the chlorine in the water. The without them. I guess that’s something u was being forced by the gut. My sister lifeguard who was all soaked placed his should look forward to in a family. There handed me a life jacket which was placed hand on my shoulder. was nothing better than the view of the on a big medal rack dripping with “Are you okay?” he asked. volcano with spiraling slides attached and water. I buckled the straps and oddly felt I gave a nod as I shivered in relief a pool rushing with waves right under- claustrophobic. As I look ahead, I saw and said thank you. neath. It was like I was in Hawaii. As I lifeguards help get everyone moving. “Are you sure? You almost got me entered the park, tropical music played all “Make sure your life vests are buck- there,” he said smiling. around me. I was about to have one of the led and move straight to the right.” Then I laughed while breathing best times of my life. My heart was pounding a bit, but to catch some more air. How could this Wow this is just plain beautiful, I it looked kind of fun. I held my sister’s happen to me? My uncle went up to me, thought. hand as we walked in the water. As soon shocked, but laughing too. As well as my We stopped at a corner to bathe as I went in, the force of the water was sisters who probably were just as scared ourselves with sunscreen. As I rubbed strong enough to push you forward just as I was in the moment. lotion on my arms my uncle, who was like an actual river. In front of me were “Yo watch mom’s reaction. Bro I just about finished, said, “We have to ride little heads moving like rocks on a lake. can’t believe this happened,” I said while every single ride here, got it?”, with an I floated but I wanted to latch onto the giving a few chokes of coughs at the end. excited but daring face. side walls, but they were too high. A We giggled and went up all cold There was one thing that remained quarter of my body shook out the water. to my mom who was just lying beneath in my mind though. I didn’t want to ride I was trying my best to keep the water the sun. She had no idea. My mom is a anything that consisted of me landing from reaching my mouth, but it was just big dramatic person when it comes to straight into a pool. The only way I would too fast. her kids or family getting hurt. She was be if I had a floatie. I knew that they A loud siren sound came from stunned by the story. wouldn’t understand because they knew behind me. “But you was wearing a life jacket!” how to swim while I didn’t. Sometimes I As I slowly turned my head around, She laughed. wish I did. waves appeared to be forming. Nobody I gave her a “I know right” look and While walking towards the pool, never mentioned waves! I panicked in my responded, “I don’t think I’ll ever learn behind were people relaxing on their mind which made me sink little by little how to swim.” backs, and kids rushing to get on the by little. I could only imagine myself I knew for sure she was going to tell different slides. There were many of smacking against the water, sinking like this to everyone in our family. But it’s them. Assorted in many colors like green, there was no room for my body to float. ok because sometimes it’s good to have yellow, purple, and many more that twist I was afraid. crazy memories like this to share to oth- and turned together. After a few hours I The waves were heading toward my ers. I always think about certain situations was able to ride most of the rides. way. I closed my eyes and held my breath where I need to know how to swim and “I can’t believe we finished the whole because even if I didn’t know how to though this probably scared me for life, park in just a few hours,” I blurted as we functionally swim, I could go under water I hope that one day I’ll face my fears and walked towards another section of the easily with no problem. But not moving learn. water! 26 27 all over. They were already opening later the knocking was still on like an april presents. Everyone was there; my annoying fly that just kept buzz- mother, brother, older sister, and lit- ing in your house. Then, my mom tle sister who was about to turn one. heard some voices in the hallway. My brother was talking to my sister, She checked through the peek hole One magical then to me. so slowly it felt like a horror movie Christmas “Well, look who just woke up. for a second - all quiet and someone And just in time too!” he happily checking something all scared and It was one Christmas day. I woke up, exclaimed. nervous. very excited to go to see what was For what? I wondered. Then, she said, “Ooh you’re going under the tree, if I remembered to After wondering what it was, he to like who it is.” get out of bed. slowly handed me a medium sized Then she opened the door. It was Once, I got out, I went rushing box. With thought of not even my uncle and cousin, then my best down the stairs. When I checked the shaking it to guess what it was, pure friend from elementary school. We bottom bunk, I saw that my sister adrenaline kicking in, the feeling was still are friends; we’re just not in the april was not there. Where could she be? like no other. same schools now. It was a lot of fun I thought to myself. As the young- After, we were done with presents. giving each other presents and sing- est aren’t you supposed to be waking it was time for movies. Thankfully, ing and watching movies. everyone else up? Movies what liars,’ I every year at Christmas they give Then it was night time. Every- thought. movie specials on ABC. After, they one went home and it was about After noticing no one was there I gave the second movie which was bedtime. closed the door behind me. Mak- Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, or It was one magical fun Christmas ing a turn for the living room, I see something. that I will never forget. shadows coming from the Christmas There was a knock on the door. tree lights. When I checked over to All a sudden, it was like an instant see what was going on wrapping stomach pain just hitting your body. paper was on the ground scattered At first, we did not know who it was and we stayed quiet. A few minutes

28 29 Ya cuando llegue a New York era Llegó un tiempo donde no que- Scarlin todo lindo y nuevo para mi,ya que ría salir,hablar con otras personas ni llegue en tiempo de comer,fue como caer en depresión. Vacaciones y salía mucho a conocer lugares nuevos y me gusta Pasó el primer mes y ya como Ya me adapte mucho el verano y ir a la playa ,pero que me estaba adaptando,y fui cuando comenzó la escuela ufff todo conociendo personas que hablan mi Hace años atrás yo tenía muchos cambio. idioma y otras que no pero de toda amigos y me gustaba mucho mi forma se comportan amable con manera de vida. Mi primer día de clases,mi migo. papá me acompañó a la puerta de la Mis amigos vivían en el mismo escuela, era una escuela grande de “Mi familia me decía que no me barrio que yo y salíamos todas las color azul y gris,yo estaba nerviosa preocupara que yo me iba adaptar tardes a jugar después de la escuela, Scarlin sin conocer a nadie entre, ya cuando rápido y que tenía un gran futuro por Tenía una mejor amiga ella era estaba adentro no sabía que salón delante” y tienen razón. de mi misma edad y nos gustaba me tocaba,así que me acerque a una mucho pasar nuestro tiempo jugando maestra con poca estatura,de pelo Cuando pasaron 8 meses me volleyball ya que a las dos nos apa- corto y de piel clara que hablaba es- adapte por completo, y entendí que sionaba el mismo deporte. pañol y le pregunté “dónde tenía que no hay mejor forma de recordar a las ir “ y ella, busco mi nombre y le dijo a personas que quieres que llevándolas Luego a mi papa y ami nos una niña que no parecía muy amable, en tu corazón. comenzó a salir los papeles que me llevara a mi salón. Ahora conozco personas nuevas estadounidense,tardó 7 años en salir y tengo grandes amigos/as, son cuando por fin nos tocó la hora de Todo fluía muy bien,hasta que pocos/as pero son sinceros y grandes viajar,yo no quería dejar mi vida que llegue a la primera clase y la maestra personas. tanto me gustaba y mucho menos a me comenzó a hablar inglés y yo las personas con la que crecí,pero no Estaba apenada ya que en ese Entendí que cada persona hace había forma de quedarme. tiempo era muy tímida y no sabía su propio mundo. Yo pensaba en lo mucho que nada de inglés y haci pase todo el día iba a extrañar a mi país y lo que lo sin saber lo que nadie me decía,solo compone,como mi comida favorita me llegaba en la mente regresar a mi el mangu con queso y salami y un país y estudiar con mis amigos. aguacatico,también la rica comida que hacía mi mamá.

30 31 At that moment I really started “My name is Mrs. Kendall and I Marifer doubting myself and wanted to go will be guiding you throughout these home. But there was no way out… next few challenges,” she revealed. “Everyone line up the first chal- She asked, “What is your name.” lenge is starting up,” said Mr. Host. After I introduced myself, we Astonishing That was when all the commo- wasted no time and started with Marifer Dentistry Smiles tion started up around a table. It was the challenge right away. There was sparkly white and clean just like the a fake mannequin head just staring I have always liked running up and most perfect set of teeth. When I at me, I was alarmed by it. Sud- down my bunk bed. After I felt tired went over to check what was all the denly I went for it picking up the enough, I would just lay down and re- buzz about it was a toothbrush. Why toothbrush, wetting it and applying lax. This was a way for me to escape was everyone so excited over some- the toothpaste. For good luck I wet my problems which most of the time thing you put in your mouth and this it once more. Then I was brushing came from stress about me becoming was just one of the many thoughts at a 45-degree angle to the gums. I a dental hygienist. It is a lot of hard that had been going through my had butterflies in my stomach due work but that is not what stresses head at the moment. Toothbrushes to the excitement and nervousness I me out. It’s the fact that many other Are Bacteria’s Playground so really was feeling at the time. To finish up, people want the same job and it’s though why were people so excited. I washed out the heads mouth out competitive. I just don’t believe I’m “Hi hello,” I said to some kid with with water and mouthwash for extra good enough. a blonde like fro as I went to tap him points. Today was different though, as on his shoulder. I couldn’t believe it, that wasn’t so I’m making my way to lay down after “What is all the chat about?” I bad. running up and down my bunk bed, exclaimed. I found a letter. It was from NYU “HI HI HI my name is Jeffery and I headed out and Mr. Host an- College of Dentistry and I was lost there are three rounds to this game nounced that everyone had thirty for words. At that moment I had the first round is called Brush the minutes to rest in the lounge room figured out how it had felt to be truly Best,” he said in a very jumpy voice before we started the next challenge. astonished. while fidgeting with the floss in his I just couldn’t get over the fact that Something was off about it hands. his last name was Host and he was though, it said I had to jump into The word “Thanks,” came out as I hosting all these challenges. my TV, and it would take me there. awkwardly walked away. Ha that’s funny and a huge coinci- Which I was skeptical about but While I waited on the line to go dence, I mumbled to myself. still went for because it had been a into the room, I was very confused Other than that, those snacks in dream come true. I stuck in my leg and thoughtful as to why they would the lounge room were calling my and believe it or not I was in another make this a challenge when it’s so name but I was far too stressed to eat dimension and I had no idea where I simple. Sweat starts dripping down so I went to get a head start on lining was. This place was huge, the build- my face making me sticky like gum. up. Right before my eyes Mr. Host ing went up like a Kit Kat bar in the Yuck I thought to myself. I did not was already telling us to line up again. middle of Manhattan and the recep- like gum at all. Noticing people were What in the bloody gums, I whis- tion room had white walls, floors leaving that room some looked con- pered to myself, thirty minutes passed and ceiling just like a marshmallow. fident or devastated but all I knew already? Everything was going great until it was that… Once again, I see Mrs. Kendall came to my attention that many “Next up on line,” said the lady walking towards the table, as she other talented people were invited. that was taking people into the room proceeds to pick up the toothbrush “oh hi come in.” and place the new item.

32 33 Floss are you serious? I thought to She said, “The name is Meredith line and in between. I was looking myself as I also wondered if these and remember it because you will be around quickly and wasn’t focusing people think we’re some jokes. I was losing to me.” on my work. My heart pounded as the first to walk in since I was first on My hands were trembling, palms I began to feel the throw up slowly line. The first thing that caught my were sweaty like mom’s spaghetti. come up my throat, but I kept on eye was that same mannequin head So, I dropped my twinkie back on going. just looking straight at me. to the table and walked away, that Lastly, I was finishing up as I ap- “Oh, hey it’s you again,” said Mrs. sweat sponge cake with a cream fill- plied fluoride treatment and fluoride Kendall “you may start whenever ing inside. varnish so that it will harden when in you’re ready.” Jefferey caught up to me before I contact with saliva so that my patient First, I wrap the floss around my walked away too far. could eat and drink after. Meredith PErIOD 3 middle finger and pinched the floss “You got this,” he said. “Don’t did finish early and they were waiting between my thumbs and index finger listen to her.” on me. After I was finished the two leaving two inches in between. Then Somehow that same word came professionals from earlier came in I gently flossed in between the teeth out “Thanks.” to check our work and gave their using a sawing-like motion. I felt like Jesus Marifer real smooth I thought. answers over to Mr. Host and Mrs. a lumberjack but instead of cut- I made my way back to the stage Kendall. ting down trees I was flossing down where Mr. Host would be announc- Together they said, “And the win- teeth. Before I knew it, I was done, ing the two last contestants. He came ner is Marifer.” and walking out of that room feel- around the corner and walked up the I jumped in excitement. It was a ing prouder of myself than ever. No stage. pretty close round. Meredith didn’t stress, no extra thoughts just pure “You have all made it a very long apply neither fluoride treatment nor happiness. way and we have been watching each fluoride varnish. I was in awe. All So now that I have thirty minutes and every one of you,” he said. “But this time I was stressing and didn’t to spare, I go into the lounge room. we do have two winners that have realize the bigger picture was that no As I walk up to the snack table some- been outstanding this evening and I matter how hard it will be, I can do it. one taps me on the shoulder. would like to invite up to the stage Suddenly I was in my bed waking up. “Are you Marifer?” a girl with long Marifer and Meredith.” I got up and went to see if my mom black hair that reaches her waistline People were clapping, crying and was home. said. I was scared but I looked into the “Hey what were you doing that I responded with, “Yes I am.” crowd and see Jefferey smiling at me you hadn’t left your room?” she said “Well I just wanted to say that while putting his thumbs up. Mrs. while smiling. you’re not winning this competition Kendall comes up to the stage along “You know the usual just thinking and you’re going down, I don’t care with two other people and tells us to about becoming a dental hygienist,” how many good things people are have a seat while they prepare every- I replied. saying about you,” she said while flip- thing. Meredith looks at me and my “Well no matter what you do, it ping her hair. palms get sweaty. sure will be bright and shiny just like “Girl what are you talking about?” “For this final challenge all they your patients smile,” she winked. I expressed while looking confused. have to do is give these two lovely “Yeah maybe I was just worried “People are saying you and me people a teeth cleaning, Mr. Host about the wrong things,” I said. “Also, are going to the last round,” She said. “You may start now.” I’m ready to move on from my bunk said. “And we are going against each First off, I checked the patient for bed and get a new bed.” other.” any gingivitis or other signs that can Wow I have been that good? I be a concern. Soon after I grabbed thought to myself before I was inter- a small mirror and a scalar to get rid rupted by the same girl again. of plaque and tartar around the gum

34 PErIOD 3

36 37 In the car, my mom Dad, and I Henry went to the store and the PS4 was there and it was on sale and I knew I could get it. and I made it!

PS4 for Christmas The first game I got for the PS4 was Call of Duty Black Ops 4 with the Christmas is the best holiday that my PS4 system. I downloaded Fortnite family celebrates. My family always and I went to the second season of Henry cooking food and giving out presents. the game after playing Black Ops 4. The thing I wanted for Christmas The PS4 cost Three hundred dollars was a PS4. I was really obsessed with plus forty with the game Black Ops 4. video games and my friends had it. We went home and I was super I asked my parents if they could buy excited about it. I connected the con- it for me but they could not afford it sole with the wires on the TV and the so I did not get it Unfortunately. I felt PS4 controller and it came out nice. disappointed, but I had to under- I first played Black Ops 4 then stand. And at least I got money for I downloaded Fortnite and it was Christmas from family members my free. I started playing with it every Aunt and Uncle even cousins. day after getting home from school My aunt said, “Henry I know you but first I had to do my homework want the PS4 for Christmas and I will and then start playing because that’s give you some money to raise it” what my parents told me and I have I said “Ok Aunt thank you.” a curfew for when to stop playing to My mom did the same thing too. go to sleep. She said, “I will also give some money The game Fortnite I was thinking to raise son.” if I could get V-bucks but I did not get “Thanks mom and Aunt I appreci- any of it, I was still happy that I had ate it,” I said. the PS4, I learned that in life I need Two months later I had enough to be grateful and patient. money already for it and I felt ex- cited, so I went to go get it. I got the money by family mem- bers, It was around February when I got it, I went with my mom and dad to GameStop.

38 39 My mother works as a homecare In Frederick Douglass Academy Laysha with a man and she takes care of him. the lunchroom is smaller the walls he is an old man. My mother tells are blaek brown. the man that she will be back. Then Onces I left the lunchroom I when she says “Sr. Rafa voy a dejar a la niña to look for the first class is Spanish. First Day of en la escuela volveré.” (Mr. Rafe i’m Now I started to make friends High School going to take my girl to school i will that make me laugh and forget about be back.) Then we left in a taxi to my problems. A few months had A time that I felt nervous would have Fredrick Douglas Academy III. passed I was at the gym. I was playing to be the first day of high school On the way there I was thinking basketball by myself when a girl with because I was used to my old school, “am I going to make friends? Are short black hair come to me. She my old teachers, my old friends. In people going to make fun of me?” started talking to me. my old school everyone got along, l was in such a deep thought that I “you know that we have three we were like family we have each didn’t notice that my mother and I classes together?” she said. other’s back no matter what. Here had arrived to the new school. I shot the ball and made it in the there are many fights, There is always I was nervous I was also scared net “ oh yeah you’re Attoria right?” Laysha drama and conflict. because I didn’t know anyone in the I asked getting the ball, Shot the ball My old teachers in the Cres- school. I didn’t have friends I also again ton Academy would say to scare had to find the classes by myself, I “Yeah and you are Laysha” Attoria my friends and I, “High School is didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t like this said different from middle school We school because I was alone, I told my “Yeah that’s me” I said laughing, will not be there to help you. guys mother that I would complete a year “Do you want to play basketball with grow up. You guys are going to high in Fredrick Douglas Academy, then i me.” I asked, her because she was school that is the next level.” My old would move to Belmont Preparatory looking at me teacher used to say to my friends and High school. Almost all of my friends Attoria siad “yeah sure but I’m not I to make us work hard as we can. are there, Also my two of my best good at it.” l was also nervous because in friends go there Steve and Sarah. Overall, in FDA III the teachers are Creston Academy my best friends Once inside the school I went to so nice and cool, they also help me and I knew each other for six years. the lunchroom to get my schedule. with things that I have to work on. We know everything about each There were three teachers and they Now I love the school, I have friends other. We still talk to each other, and were given the scheduled so I went that I hung out with after school we still text each other. Even though up to them and asked for me last and I can see myself being here until we don’t see each other as much as name “ what is your last name” a I graduate H.S with my firends. I we used to. men he had a red shit that say Freder- learned that you have to give a try to September 5th comes and ick Douglass Academy on it everything and see what happens. it’s the first day of high school. My “ Montero” I answer, he said, “ mother woke me up at 6:00 AM. We Here you go welcome to Frederick were going to her job first, but before Douglass.” I just nod and walk away that we went to McDonald’s to get from the lunchroom, the lunchroom breakfast. I get a bacon, egg and it was different from my old school cheese McGriddle with an orange because in Creston Academy the juice. My mother got a sausage bur- lunchroom was large it had white rito with hot tea. After we finished walls, it had two doors took you to eating, we started to walk to my the backyard. mother’s job which is two streets down from McDonald’s.

40 41 We needed to get a greater lead, So the next day we went to the Luis but they got a steal and shot the hospital I had to get x-rays to see if three BANG. “16 to 16 we need to to was in place correctly. And Jai actu- get a stop” King said “ Lu you need ally put it in place. JaIif you’re reading to take the three or layup something this thx bro. They told me I had to Not Again we’ll set u up with screens “ wait 6 weeks to play again, and I As I am taking the ball up the didn’t take the news so well because I Last year, On Memorial Day there court I start running up the court two hate staying home. was no school so my friends and I behind the back spin move threw the I couldn’t go to school because it decided we should go to the park. ball up but I fell to the floor was very far away at 205 st. Some of Once I told her she said “No, you’re “ DAMNIT,” my friends asked if I was ok and I told always pushing yourself, take a break Everyone looks at me and see them what had happened and they and that how you messed up your that I done messed up my leg again. hoped that I get better. Luis leg the first time.” This kinda made When I looked at my leg my kneecap Three weeks later I had to wear me mad she always does this, and it was out of place and I didn’t know a brace where I messed up my knee. I really bothers me, why can’t you just what to do. Do I just sit there or do kind of found it crazy that a fractured say just be safe. input it back in place? knee hurts more than a dislocated While I was going back to my My friend Jai came and told knee. So now I stretch before I play room, my mother said, “please do me, “If you can try and put it a little basketball and now I’m scared of not get hurt again.”, straight I can try and put it back in messing up my knee again because I “I won’t,” I said. place.” didn’t like how it looked at all. And Twenty minutes later, my friends I said , “Ok but do it quick.” now I hate wearing shorts while Jai, King, and Tim. We were in my While I’m trying to get my leg playing basketball so I have to play in room about getting ready to leave to straighten up, Jai was trying to sweat pants so I plan on using com- but I’m trying to find my compres- put my leg in place. Once I had my pression pants. I still play basketball sion pants but they wanted to ball leg straightened he pushed it in and to this day and I don’t plan on giving out so we just left to play. I was able to look at it but I couldn’t up playing basketball . While we were shooting around so I tried walking on it but couldn’t. Just because something happens some more people came to play so My friends called the game off since don’t let it stop you. This is my story King asked them, “yo , y’all want to I couldn’t play anymore. and I have a lot more but maybe next do a 5v5 full court,” “You okay Lu ?” King said. time. They said yeah sure just wait “You good Luis ?” Tim and Jai awhile. said. While I was waiting, I shot I didn’t respond. around for a while, ten minutes Once I got in my house friends passed, and we are about to start the left knowing I was sad and mad. game. We shot for first ball posses- Once my mom came to the sion and missed. They try to get the house I told her and she was mad first points of the game and we get and scolded me for breaking my leg the stop we go for the fast break and and told me it was gonna happen so I get fouled my leg felt weird but kept I was even more mad cause she was playing. Score was 10 to 16 we are up right the first time. It was very hard by 6 they go up set the screen shot to sleep because I sleep with my legs the three… SWOOSH. 13 to 16, they bent. were making a comeback.

42 43 About thirty minutes passed before I sat I decided to let her know the truth attoria down to take a break. “We were never really friends, no one All of a sudden, Rashida exclaimed in wanted you in the group, but I let you in a worried tone, “Someone is spreading if I didn’t then you wouldn’t really have a crazy rumor about you. It’s that you any friends.” kissed Chinnor, your ex, at school even Prom Night: though he got a girlfriend.” I walked away to go with my real Kiss Krisis I was baffled and shocked. I felt like I friends. They warned Angelina to go wanted to die. Chinnor was my ex from away. They gazed at her like she was a I was watching my big sister Sophia get sixth grade. We dated for 4 months. We nasty cold that wouldn’t go away. If they ready for prom. I was only 10 years old broke up because I wasn’t ready for a didn’t tell her to go away, I would’ve got and never had a prom before. All my relationship. Who would do this to me? expelled and Angelina’s nose would’ve been attoria sister constantly informed me was when I was so embarrassed that I ran into as red as the dress on her body. I had prom it would be magical. She the bathroom and stayed in for ten min- was so pretty as she twirled in her pink utes and freaked out. I kept on looking The rest of the night we had the best satin dress. Never will I ever forget that in the mirror and just crying and pacing time ever dancing and laughing. But moment I desired it more than I needed around. I felt like I had to choose between every now and then my thoughts always oxygen. saving my myself or my family from dying. went back to that rumor. Never again will I Meanwhile, four years later, it was fi- Maybe if I sneak out no one will notice. NO, ever try to help someone like Angelina or fake nally my time to shine. And no one could but then I would ruin my first prom. I’m people again. ever ruin it. But little did I know God had gonna to collect myself and face the rumor. other plans on how my night would go. Immediately when I finally came out I felt so hurt about what Angelina did It took twenty minutes to fix my hair, and sat down, Chinnor approached. but then I remembered how fake friends five minutes to get dressed. I had to buy “You heard about the rumor right my come and go but real friends are forever. makeup to go with my dress. It was my girlfriend doesn’t believe it, but others Ever since then I know depending on first school dance with all my friends in do,” he blurted out. fake friends is not worth it. Prom night eighth grade. He parted with a little worried walk was a night I would never forget. Now I had been dreaming of this day since and I sat alone. everyone knows the rumor was a lie since my sister Sophia went to her first prom Then Haley came over explaining she I told everyone Angelina was a liar. My four years earlier. I was going with my found out who was spreading the rumor. friendship with Chinnor stayed the same. best friends. My family did not come “Attoria you won’t believe this, but it was We both were victims of a rumor. We are since they were busy. I got ready with all Angelina who was spreading the rumor. I still friends to this day. While Angelina of my friends at my aunt’s house. found out since Hayley came and told me and I don’t talk anymore. I got food at Applebee’s and took Angelina had just told her the rumor.” It pictures. It was like being a millionaire was Angelina, my friend who is fake. Then out of nowhere I had the worst with no cares in the world. I should go over there and smash her head thought ever. We have all the same classes to the wall. I didn’t do anything to her, and together. OH NO, we sit together every class Later on, we decided to go to prom she has the nerve to spread lies. and we can’t move seats anymore. What am which was at The Sanz. As we all strolled I gonna do? God please help me! Well if I in it was beautiful. The setting was with a I went over to confront her she was survived prom night, I can survive anything fake moon and gold and white balloons. over at the sushi bar sitting down. that happens next. The lights were so bright like a toddler smile on Christmas after getting a pile of I demanded all serious and mad, Later on, that night before going to presents. They played Spanish and Jamai- “Why are you spreading rumors about bed I wondered what would’ve happened can music and pop songs. I was eating su- me and Chinnor. You’re mad fake. Keep if I never became Angelina’s friend. Maybe shi, then went to dance with my friends. my name out your mouth unless you prom night wouldn’t have been this drama My friends and I were having fun. Almost wanna fight. I’m not dealing with your filled. I never would’ve had to think of hurting every ten minutes we kept saying, “This is stuff anymore.” a girl. the best time ever!” We barely talked at She replied with an annoyed expres- the beginning mostly we just danced. It sion “Whatever, we are not friends was so weird at first. I was sweating like a anymore.” runner in a 4k race. Then out of nowhere Despite not wanting to fight, I wanted we were filled with energy to dance. to bump her big head into the sushi bar and shove that breadsticks down her throat since she wants to speak lies.

44 45 Over time I started to think that Leshawn wasn’t going to go so I said, “ Can we go were going to be late pass” he responded with “ wait you don’t rush me we will make it there” I thought James Hardens to myself why did you come back dad acting like was die then we got back It was New Year’s Day and moved on the road. I know we were late with my dad in and I lived in Texas. I started to think that my dad forgot was not really feeling the vibe over that we are going to the game but there and people were also nice and when got there at the 1 half but the come from New York. second quarter so I know I was going I wasn’t used to that yet, so I to meet harden so I thought and wasn’t always in the mood to say hi thought well watching the game in to everyone a lot. my seat I was having a good time but After a few hours my dad called my mind was rushing harden I just me to his room to my surprise it was to meet him the team was head- Rockets game tickets I thought they ing to the tunnel I called harden and were fake for second. Then I looked look at me but didn’t say anything close and they were real. I ran and Leshawn but they were losing so I understood jumped all over the house. I took the reason why he didn’t answer. A everything I had that was James few minutes later the team came harden my shoes wasn’t there yet so out harden looked at me and I went I had to wear my Yeezus but I got my crazy it’s like you got all the gifts you rockets shirts. I ran to the shower be- want and your birthday was the next cause my dad told me the game was day and you got even more gifts. The in a three hours we got ready. Then game went on the rockets was up we were finally on our way my dad by like 14 points with a little a bit of I had took my little brother with time left. us so it was trouble getting him ready When the game was over I was starting running late I thought started looked for harden for him to I was going to die if we did get the sign my shoes and I saw I yelled his car any slower finally my dad got my name and headed over to my shoes brother already. In my head I thought and signed them and ever since that I was dying slowly because my dad day I didn’t wear them. had to stop when we on the highway to get something, so I started yelling at him.

46 47 From the look on Sam’s face when “Are you ok?” I mumble. The words he entered back the room, we could felt as though they were stuck in my Mikolo all tell there was news. Word traveled throat fast around the room, about how Emily “I’m fine,” she replied. Then she could have ruined Sam’s life by saying took a deep breath. “I’m tired of this he touched her without her permission. school and the people in it. I just wanna Sides when he walked her home, which was go home.” believable because they walked home When I finally turned my head to Emily and I were both thirteen going to together after school almost every day face her it was as though something took Richard R. Green Middle school, a three- because they lived very close to each over my body as I saw the empty, emo- story building on 215 and Barners which other. Sam was also the type to have tionless on her face and in her eyes. It was broken down into three schools. She roaming hands. told me the story I needed to know -- she came to the school at the end of six grade Emily claims she told her mother was tired of crying and having no one. and started dating my cousin. At the not to press charges to make it seem like I had to ask the question that’s been Mikolo time, I didn’t understand what she saw in it’s not a big deal, to get back in every- digging in my soul for days. “No more him, so we weren’t friends until seventh one’s good graces. lies. Did he really touch you?” through eighth grade when I really got I guess because she knew no one would I think she was surprised I asked so to talk to her and notice she likes some choose her side over Sam because Sam was confidently because the look on her face of the things I do and we had so much in favored by many. But would her mom seri- told me she wasn’t ready to be asked that common. ously not press charges? My mom would never question. She looked down and dug into Emily was a dark skin around five stand for something like that but then again, the palm of her hand until it turned red. feet and two inches mostly seen in braids. I would never lie in the first place. I thought Then she looked at me and my heart fell She had a long and dark backstory from to myself. to the ground by her stare. what she told me, she no longer had a At the end of the school day I “Do you think I would lie like that?” father figure in her life, she cut lines and watched the clock waiting for my first she said. never really had anyone to talk to about period class to end. Thoughts skipped I got up and opened my hand to the things going on in her life. Sam was through my head about the whole situ- help her up. I knew I wasn’t going to an- a light skin curly hair Puerto Rican who ation, I felt as though I needed to pick a swer her question, so I avoided it. I didn’t came from DR and was friends with side. On one hand, Emily was always the type believe her, but she never really gave me mostly everyone. to lie but I didn’t believe that she would go reasons to. But I knew at that moment I was After we became close, I started to that low as making such falsehood that could on her side because I don’t believe any female realize that she was a pathological liar, who affect her as well as Sam. On the contrary, would make something so terrifying up just to lied even for the smallest things such as the Sam lead her on with all the flirting and gain attention. I felt as though Emily was the things she owns and who her family mem- walking her home after everything he knew victim in the situation. bers were, not to mention the amount of she felt about him. Sam reaction to what Everyone stopped being friends with money she claims she has. But I still saw her happened was calm and he seemed at peace her but me, we were only friends because as my bestie. However, Sam was the type of he never even tried to explain his part but I felt bad seeing her cry and no one being guy that never really dated anyone, but he instead pointed finger at Emily saying it there for her. Not to sound fake, but it’s playfully played around with girls. Although was all folktale. However, Emily dealt with true. it wasn’t very professional and was done the consequences. One month and exactly 2 days of without consent. This spread like wildfire through- being friends and others started talking On a normal day, in math where out the eighth-grade wing. In less than to her again and soon everyone wanted the crooked AC froze the room and a week, she had no friends, she started to be friends with her, because she had instead of learning there was talking hanging with the teachers and staying up friends again, she dropped me like it was and shouting. The footsteps of the Dean for lunch. nothing to go to the same fake friends approached and asked Sam to step out. A few weeks before school ended, that left her. But for some reason I was It didn’t seem like anything until Emily our mentor had a pizza party to say her hoping she would choose me over them. got up and went too. It was then I knew it final goodbyes, Emily came. She sat in the GUESS I WAS WRONG! had to be something to do between both corner as tears flowed down her face. I I realized not everyone you call Emily and Sam. I had no clue what was felt bad and pulled her in the hallway to friends is going to be there for you and occurring because Emily and I weren’t as have a quick chat. not everyone is going to be there like close, you could even say we stop being We both leaned on the wall as we you was for them. But even though friends. To demonstrate we both kind sunk to the floor. I didn’t know what to sometimes the truth may never come to of stop hanging out, to the point we say. I think she could see it on my face the see the light, believe in what you think is no longer had time for each other and way I was trying to formulate the right right. started hanging out with other people words to say, but we both know there suddenly it turned into a “Hi” and “Bye” were no right words. friendship. It felt like we were strangers.

48 49 I was trying so hard to get to her I stomped to my room and Tyquaisha but Ms, Lee, school safety, and the slammed the door, why am I getting Principal was blocking my way and in trouble if she started with me first, holding me down, that just made me I thought to myself. even more mad. “It’s not fair I hate everything” I Untitled I started to punch the wall and screamed from the top of my lungs crying because I couldn’t get to her “Be quiet, nobody wants to hear It was a boring morning, and me Tyquaisha and I felt like her and her friends it” my dad said in an angry voice and my best friend Nyjhae walked were trying to make fun of me and For the rest of the night my dad in school going to first period, as I get me madder so I just felt like didn’t speak a word to me about the walked to class I felt like today wasn’t punching any and everything I saw. situation he just left it alone. I did feel going to be a good day at all, when In a very soft voice Ms. Lee said, bad that I hit Ms. Lee but it wasn’t we get in the classroom I sit next “Just calm down and take some deep like I meant to hit her and like I said to my friends and start doing my breaths.” she started with me so why am I the classwork. A couple of minutes go by “No, I can’t I still want to fight I only one who got suspended I kept and it was time to go so everybody don’t care about nothing” I said try- thinking to myself. It was nighttime started to pack up their stuff and ing to fight my tears and I facetimed my best friend and leave the classroom. “Okay, just come in my office I told her what happened of course As I walked out of the class- and take a seat and wait till your she was laughing at me, after I got off room, I was approached by my friend father comes” the phone with her, I took a shower Destiny sister Shaniya and her other and turned on Netflix friends Angie and Najaiya. As I waited in the office hours, I was suspended for two days “I heard that you wanted to fight go past and I’m not even mad any- and for those two days I was bored me” Shaniya said sarcastically more I’m just tired at this point and I out of my mind, my dad had left me I could hear her friends laugh- want to go home. in the house and there was nothing ing and telling her what to say to me A few hours later my dad finally to do but think about what hap- because they saw I was getting angry, comes to pick me up and he is so pened and I learned that it’s not but at this point I got upset and I mad at me, as we are leaving, he always good to react to what people started to flip out…. I started to take still hasn’t said a word to me it was a say so quickly because there’s always my bag and jacket off to get ready long and quiet walk home it was so consequences. to fight but as soon as I dropped my awkward I was scared to say anything, stuff, one of my favorite teachers, Ms. as we walk in the house that’s when Lee got in front of me to try to stop things go left he started to yell at me from swinging on her. When she me about fighting because he says I stood in front of me, my friend’s sister know better and not to let people get tried to charge towards me. I tried to under my skin all the time because swing before she could, but I ended he knows when I’m angry there is no up hitting Ms. Lee. Then, school safety calming me down. He screams at me started to run towards us. for a whole hour, or that’s what it felt “Get off me” I yelled at the top like to me but then he tells me to go of my lungs in my room and not come out only if I have to use the bathroom and to get something to eat.

50 51 Time eventually passed by and pen. I was confused. I think to myself Jose second period was almost over. I saw what happened. I felt a lot of pain in a pen thrown at me out of nowhere. my head. I touched my head with my The pen flew right across my face hand and saw blood. I was rushed to and hit the wall. the clinic by my teacher. The Pen “Who did that!?” I said out loud. She says “Oh my God! I can’t Jose I was so mad that I hit the table believe he did that” One cold winter morning I was on and the class became quiet. I look In a sad tone. I tell the doctors my way to school. I was in seventh across the room and a kid named “I feel tired, I feel heavy pain in my grade. I don’t know why, but I had Steven was laughing while looking at head.” a bad feeling. I was heated. It was a me. I barely knew him, probably only They clean my head of the pen gloomy cloudy day. I thought maybe seen him only twice that year but I ink and I was rushed to the hospital. it was because I might’ve woken up automatically assumed it was him. As Fortunately I did not need stitches or on the wrong side of bed but later, a result of anger staples. I would find out that was not the I screamed again, “Why would case. I finally got to class and sat you throw that?!” My dad calmed down from down next to no one. My head was I got no answer back. Eventually being angry. “Why did he stab you?” hurting, my dad and I were arguing I picked up the pen and I throw it he says. before I had left for school. straight back at Steven. The only dif- I reply, “I threw a pen at him and ference was that this time it actually he got very angry and did it”. I was thinking to myself “I hit him. I saw anger in his face. Eventually we went home. The should’ve just stayed home,” I say to He got up and said, “I’m going kid ended up getting suspended for myself. I felt like coming to school to kill you!” 4 months. I was okay but to this day that day was a mistake. At this point the whole class I get mini headaches on the scar. Ste- A few minutes later I get a sharp was looking. I got up with my fist ven and I are friends now. So are me pain in my stomach. This day had balled and muscles tightened, ready and Mohammed. I was traumatized already been stressful enough. My to fight. He walked toward me and for a month or two, but it wore off. body was hurting. I could barely the class is screaming “fight, fight, Ever since then I never threw a pen open my eyes because of how I fight!”. He was twice my size, but I or pencil at anyone ever again. tired I was. “This day cannot get any felt no fear. I swung so did he I struck worse,” I said to myself. It was only him in the face he hit me in the ribs. the first period and I wanted to go Right before I was about to swing home. again I feel a hand on my arms. One Soon, second period came. It hand on both arms. I turn around was science class. I always hated and it was my close friend Moham- science, so I just sat by myself in the med. By the time I turn around, Ste- back doing my work. ven puts me in a headlock and stabs me three times in the head with a

52 53 That day I brought my girl Erika to “You were never my uncle!” Jonathan my house for my parents to meet her, I spoke to my mom about the but no one was home. Only my uncle problem I had with my uncle, but was home alone, so I introduced my she did not believe me so I told my girl to him. girlfriend to come so she can talk to Untitled Me my girl was chilling but you my mom about it. I did this because know I needed my privacy so I told i hoped she can believe me so then My mom came in my room and told my uncle to leave the living room so after when my girl told my mom she me that my uncle was going to move the he left. I was with my girl we was really got mad and had a conversa- in. I acted like I was happy but deep Jonathan watching a movie and then I went to tion with him but he did not care so inside I was just really mad that I the kitchen to get some snacks and then after that my girl broke up with wanted to punch the wall because when I came back I saw my uncle me so then later I had another girl I knew this meant I had to share talking to my girl and he was kind of and I told my uncle and he had asked my room with him, and I don’t like flirting with her and I didn’t like it. for her Instagram and I actually gave my mom side of family. I thought to My girl told me she felt uncomfort- it to him. myself that why he’d had to come able so then she told me she was So then he started texting her and and not stay where he’s at. leaving the house. I dropped her off that so I was like, “Why u texting my When my uncle arrived, me and at her house but I got mad at my girl for?” my family went to the airport to pick uncle for doing that. When I found out he was tell- him up. When I first saw him. I had When I got back home I ing her that I was cheating on her to struggle to hold in my laughter. I started cursing him out. But he was when that wasn’t true but she didn’t looked him up and down and noticed try hit me, but he could not he tried believe me so I was like whatever and his dirty t-shirt, his ripped hoodie, to swing at me but I like move out of just left her. and pants that were too small. I the way and he missed and just hit Then my mom found out about wanted to ask my mom what kind air. this she was at him and this time of life he had in Mexico. After we I was telling him that I did not like she told him he wanted him out the greeted each other, we took a cab the way he was acting when my girl house. One reason is because he home. We got home and me and my was here and I told him that “it’s not never paid for grocery or paid his bill uncle was talking all they then we my fault you cant treat a girl good as phone. My mom always paid for his were playing video games then days I can!” and stormed out of the room. things and he never paid the rent too pass we got to know each other’s Before I left I saw that he started get- so we kicked him out. then we gave each other our trust ting even more mad at me. Later that night he told my mom But then this day came when he lies about me leaving the house lost my trust. without permission so I really got mad at him. I told him I did not want to hear about him and I yelled at him,

54 55 why we are here today. I’ll be happy clock. My coach called a timeout and Nevaeh with any outcome as long as we try sets up a play we didn’t know how to our asses off. So let’s get out there do very well. Nobody said anything and destroy them. Nevaeh Lead it.” because he was already mad enough Now we had to say our chant. I Start, and if we told him we didn’t know it, The Game “We are family on 3, we are falcons he would kill us. Winner on 6!” Now we all say together, “1 We went back on the court and I ,2, 3, We are family, 4, 5, 6, we are started bringing the ball up the court. I woke up overly excited this morn- falcons!” “10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3…” I shoot the ball ing. Today had to be one of the big- and it felt like everything was going gest days of the year. This is the day The game starts and we have a in slow motion. “2,1…” THE BALL I’ve been waiting for. Its was the last hard time scoring. We were trying WENT IN! I can’t believe my eyes. I game of the season. If we won we very hard but could not make a good just made the clutchest shot of my would make it to the playoffs. I was in play to save our lives. Minutes later life! my senior year in middle school and it was almost half-time and we were After the game I talked about Nevaeh I wanted to go out with one more down by five. By halftime we were the shot for a few weeks straight. I championship so we had to win this nine . Our coach was now not as will never forget how clutch I can be game. proud as he was before the game. He when tension is high. A few hours later I was in school told us we need to do better than now. I didn’t know how to feel this. I was now annoyed at my coach. because the team we were going to Come on bruh you were just saying play were really good. Honestly I had you didn’t care about the fuckin’ mixed emotions. Lots of things were outcome. going on in my mind. Will we win, are Now the second half started and we even good enough to beat them. I was angry. We needed to show We might lose because they are way our coach we were better than he too good for us. thought. We were on fire and fight- After a long school day of stress- ing back into the game. As the clock ing about the game it was about was ticking down I look over and see that time to step on the court. My that there’s only a little over a minute adrenaline was in the sky but I was left. The other team started wasting ready for anything. Before the game time on the clock. They finally shot our coach gave us a speech, “ Im and my heart was pounding because i Proud of you guys. We’ve come a thought he would hit it. HE MISSED! long way. You guys have grown from The ball rolled out of bounds and teammates to brothers and that’s now there was 15 seconds on the

56 57 me. I looked back into the store and We pass Wendy’s so I know Bruce screamed out mom….no answer but we are at the food stand then we only the chatter of people fading in entered a small room smelled like the background. After minutes of sweat. I covered my nose. standing in this loud hallway I finally “Sit down sweetheart,’’ she said. The Visit to decided to place myself and become Following her order, I sat down Barclay’s one with the crowd. in a folded chair. She gave me a cup Bruce After a few minutes on what of apple juice. I drank it then started I enter this huge gigantic mall in felt like hours I lost hope. I just kept feeling tired. I started to scratch my Brooklyn called Barclays Center Mall. wandering around and then stopped, eyes because they still felt sore from I was alone with my mother because sat down on the floor, and started crying she trusted me not to say a word to crying I closed my eyes until they my big brother. It was my brothers’ I don’t know for how long I was stayed permanently closed like a birthday and he was turning four- crying for, but I soon realized that a cuckoo clock closing its hole slowly. teen! He was always talking about lady with black pants and a blue shirt I awakened to a jab touching my how needed this game Minecraft. with a tag on the left of it which read shoulder, I looked up and it was my My mom was also getting him NYPD Security was approaching me. mom! I start crying while she picked clothes and other boring stuff. She said with soft voice ‘‘Hi - are me up. After buying the boring stuff we you okay?’’ She spoke to me in Spanish and entered Gamestop . In my head I was At first I didn’t feel like saying said, ‘‘Mijo, te estaba buscando a thinking, I never thought there could be anything to her but I was sad and donde fuiste,’’ so many things inside a store that a kid had no other choice but to tell her ‘‘Nowhere I was looking for could want! the condition I was in. In that case I you.’’ Obviously I wandered off to sat up and spoke with my eyes red I was laughing crying and didn’t look around as my mother faded from the tears and my voice scratchy know what to feel. My mother just from sight. I wasn’t scared because from crying ‘‘I can’t find my mom kept kissing my cheeks. She grabbed I’m always doing this in other stores, and I was looking for her but could my hand and next thing I know it we when my mother was ready to leave, not find her,’’ I said. are out of the mall and into the train she would just call my name and we I knew that I did not have a heading home. I said to myself that would just …. leave, so I knew I was choice whether or not to go with I would never wander off in a mall going to be ok. After minutes of her. She looked okay and she had a until I come to age. searching I found something I really heartwarming smile. Now I’m 14 years old and I enter liked, it was a Pikachu plush toy. I While looking up at her again a mall and feel very comfortable. I rushed to find my mom to beg her she spoke with her soft voice, still think about what happened to to buy it for me, but next I know my ‘‘When did you last see your five years ago, but I just laugh every mom is literally not in sight mother?” time I think about it. I dropped the doll of at random ‘‘GAMESTOP!!!!!!’’ I shouted shelf forgetting why I even had it out. in the first place, walked out of the She offered her hand to me. At claustrophobic store but bigger to first, I didn’t know what she wanted me in my eyes. Out of the store into me to do, but then it clicked. She the hallway there was a BIG TRAF- grabbed my hand and we started to FIC OF PEOPLE right in front of walk down the hallway

58 59 back of what my dad had told me the oracle there is just no need for me to katay night before “the Cavs are losing this waste my energy and argue. But the series their losing 3-l heading back Cavs proved me wrong by winning to oracle is a wrap with a face of dis- game 5 even though The Warriors belief.” even though he was betting lost key players due to suspension. Anything is for the Cavs.he was just scared of the Giving me a legit reason to still argue katay possible warriors like everyone else who was with big games from lebron James rooting for the Cavs or any other nba and kyrie Irving.and huge response It was June 19th,2016 a very sunny franchise. heading back to Cleveland. The Cavs day in NYC. I was getting ready to As I thought all the backlash were determined and weren’t going attend my 5th grade graduation and from these bandwagons was over to go down without a dog fight even prom at school. But all I was worried my friend prince approached me though they were in such a huge about was game 7 of the NBA finals. alongside and said, “what happened hole. And damn sure were not going Later that day nervous like never last night? we came to Cleveland and to lose there last game at the quicken before That series was filled with won. Now we need one more game loans arena just like the yr prior tons of drama and noise. The Golden to repeat as champs”. and didn’t disappoint. With a huge State Warriors arguably had the Laughing and pushing me while victory and forced a winner take all greatest season with a 73-9 season they talked their ish. Even though game 7 the 2 best words in sports. record. I just hated them because they told me the same ish earlier that Which made me look at myself in the they were just so good, and I didn’t day. But I just kept it cool. mirror and tell myself “anything Is want to see anyone do good or Additionally, as I was in the hall- possible.” The very next day at school beat Lebron and kyrie. the gsw had way walking I seen my friend Andre I was just pumped and couldn’t already done that the year prior and with him saying to me “Yo Katay It control myself and the Cavs hadn’t were getting ready to do it again. By don’t really matter just believe that even won yet. So yet imagine how I storming their way to the NBA finals. anything could happen”. would feel if they had won.Just 24hrs but Lebron James was determined to I didn’t really believe anything before prom and graduation and also have a date with warriors once again. about what he just said I was in my game 7. as I was walking to school all And bring the first NBA title to the own world. but I knew he had a I was doing was smiling just think- city of Cleveland but the Warriors point. ing about what I would say to those were not going to hand it to the Cavs So that whole day at school my bandwagons and just see such misery so easily they had to earn it. And the friends I were just debating about in their face. then I suddenly had Warriors to were determined to re- basketball as if we owned a talk show seen someone running when they peat as champs and cap the greatest and were getting paid for it. But then had seen me approaching the school. season by any team in sports history. my friend said something very out of and I knew It was someone familiar it A couple days before prom and order.”Steph curry is way better than was my friend Jayden the president graduation. I saw my friends looking LeBron.” of all the bandwagons.so I just ran at me like I had just robbed the bank That sentence just triggered me him down “what happened now we and approached them. to the were I lost it. But of course, beat ya twice tied now huh?And I My friend Jayden had hollered at the bandwagons had agreed to such know you seen that block that lebron me and said, “Yo the Cinderella story a hoax. gave your so-called favorite player is over the Cavs are losing tonight.” Later that evening I was at home laughing my tail off before letting And in my head, I just knew he getting ready to tune in into the those words out my mouth”.“Alright was right and all the GSW band- highly anticipated game 5. Just mov- ya came back I will give you props But wagons. LeBron had let me down ing around anxiously Because I just you know ya not winning game 7 at like never before but I still had hope. thought that the series was over my the oracle.” this time I believed the Then suddenly I had a sudden flash- team is down 3-1.heading back to Cavs were going to win at the oracle

60 61 because momentum had shifted a great time. But know it was game 7 towards their side and you have the I was just sitting in my house walking best player in the world by your side around anxiously as if I was waiting you could go against that. Suddenly for my lottery results. It was high out of no where my friend Andre was action and affection through 3 long just letting Jayden have it about the hard fought quarters.by both teams finals and I enjoyed every minute of but the 4th quarter determined who it. because he didn’t have his buddies would be champs. 2 teams fighting to back him up my other bandwagon their lives away to be champs with friends but It was just tons of them. LeBron’s chase down to Kevin loves most of them didn’t come to school stellar defense on the reigning mvp PErIOD 6 because they didn’t want to hear Steph curry and kyries big shot the my mouth or any of the Cavs fans. Cleveland Cavs were NBA champs. and it was a great day for the people and was the first time in NBA history rooting for the Cavs and bad for the to come back 3-1 in the finals with all warriors fans.later that day I was at the noise and criticism they still got home getting ready for prom and it done which taught me that never graduation the next day and was doubt or lose faith because anything testing what outfit I should wear possible. Debating with my mom”just wear The next day I went to school this white suit to graduation it looks just so happy to the point I couldn’t good.” But I didn’t agree I wanted to control my I cussed at everyone who were my suit to prom.so finally it was was against the Cavs and clowned the day i been waiting for.Me and my them even teachers. I even watched family were getting ready to attend the game on the smartboard to mock my graduation and I had prom later my friends and they was just so sad that day.as I walked into a very Hos- and angry. and trust me I made them tile environment I seen all my friends reminisce and enjoyed every last and their families and everyone was second of it. It was time for us to just looking tight.but they was just chat- chill and hang out through our last ting their lives away and I knew what together because we were heading to they was talking about. middle school. As I approached them they first That stellar series taught me that thing they said was”yo katay you anything is possible If you put your watching the game tonight.” mind to It. I then responded with a irritated “yes.” furthermore we started our graduation ceremony and It felt good to graduate and it was a success and prom to everyone pulled through we danced laughed and was just having

62 PErIOD 6

64 65 He was okay with my answer, but I But I literally had no idea what she Monay still liked my crush which I thought to was talking about at this point until myself, This is kind of bad, but I kept my best friend serena said, “Your ex my head held high and I just took is basically mad because you guys that thought out of my head because are trying to get back together but The Crush it was upsetting me and I went on you’re still talking to your crush and Monay with my day. he doesn’t like that.” It all started when I was in 8th grade. The next day I came into the “oh my god.” I said shocked. The month was February. It was cold lunchroom and I saw my crush. I was Once I heard that, I turned to my and snow was falling down from the deciding if I should talk to him or ex and said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t sky. I just recently broke up with my not. I should go talk to him, but I have a mean to hurt you or make you mad ex-boyfriend three months ago and it feeling if my ex comes in the lunchroom, on purpose.” ended on a bad note. Me and my ex he’s going to get mad at me. But guess As he stood up from the table he have been on and off for a while and what I did. I TALKED TO HIM LIKE walked away gloomily. we went through hell and back with AN IDIOT. Later on that day, I was feeling each other. But I was getting over I went over to my crush’s table guilty because I hurt my ex and I him for good, so everything was okay and sat next to him and he said didn’t want to do that. But when I in my life. I got things in order how I “Sup.” got home from school he texted me wanted it to be. “Hi! you look bored. You wanna on Snapchat and said, “I know that I My grades were good, I was cool talk for a bit?” I said. didn’t say anything about my feelings with teachers and my life outside was “Sure, not a problem,” he said. but just to let you know that I forgive in check as well and I was very happy. My heart was beating so fast and you.” Of course, he was still trying to I was so nervous. While I was talking That text made me so happy and apologize to me so I could come back to my crush, my ex came into the my guiltiness and worries went away. to him, but I wasn’t falling for that. lunchroom. When I saw his face it I texted back and said, “Thank you Until 5th period, which was lunch, was blood red. His lips were poked I really appreciate it,” with so much one of my friends came up to me out and his fist was balled up and it relief. and said, “Come with me to your ex- looked like he wanted to punch my The next day me and my ex were boyfriend’s table.” crush in the face. But lucky he didn’t talking things out to actually see if “Okay,” I said. because he probably thought it was we could get back together. As I was walking over to his table, the wrong thing to do, which it was. “So, what can we do to get this I was kind of thinking to myself, Why I kept talking to my crush for relationship back on track?” my ex did he want me to come over there? Did I about a good fifteen minutes and for said. do something wrong? one second I looked over to the table “We can spend more time to- When I got over to his table, where my friends were sitting and gether and talk everyday so we can I tapped his shoulder he turned one of them looked at me with the build a connection again,” I said. around and I asked, “Why did you most disgusting face EVER! I wanted “That sounds perfect to me my want me to come here?” to know why she was looking at me love,” he said. “I wanted to know if you want to like that, so I told my crush hold on I was blushing so hard my cheeks get back together with me,” he said. for a second. were so red, but I couldn’t stop My heart dropped and I was flab- “Okay,” he said. smiling. bergasted and didn’t know what to I walked over to my friends’ table The weeks and days passed as do. So I thought about it for a sec with anger and I said, “Why were you we were slowly getting back to our and said “I’ll think about it.” looking at me like that?” relationship. The nights were warm “You know why,” she said. when I was around him, getting to

66 67 know how he really is now. It’s been The next day came and I went to so long since we really had a long school with a sad expression on my late-night talk and I really missed him face. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, Makyla and the connection we had. but my friends cheered me up and Our relationship was going fine I felt somewhat better. My ex just for about a month. Until one day me walked past me and didn’t say any- and my ex were arguing about my thing. When he did that, I knew...we pants and how they were “too long” were done…. for good. for my legs and it ended up into a big After that specific day of me and argument. my ex’s break up, I didn’t talk to my “Well I don’t know what you ex or my crush because I didn’t want gonna do if you don’t want to trust to deal with boys anymore. I wanted me and how I care about what you to stay focused on my schoolwork wear outside,” he said. and have everything in order like I “Then just leave me alone then,” I had it before. And I did exactly that. said angrily. “Then I’ll just leave you alone “So, what. You’re mad now?” he forever then. How about that?” said. that quote right there shows you “Yes, I’m mad and honestly just just to let love find you and PLEASE leave me alone like I said before,” DON’T go back with your ex you are “Okay then. I’ll leave you alone making a terrible mistake. What stays forever then. How about that?” he in the past is in the past we move said angrily while yelling a bit. forward for a reason. “FINE!!’’ I said yelling. He stormed out of my room and left my house. My mom was asking me a whole lot of questions, but I didn’t answer because I was just mad at the fact that he just left, and he didn’t even try to make me feel bet- ter he just...left. After that thought, I started to cry alone in my room while the lights were off.

68 69 “It’s okay Mama, let it all out,” I hung up and ran to my mother alaysia my mother said with a worried tone. telling her they were only a minute I stood there watching what was away. She started crying still trying to going on, hoping I could help. She help her breath. She started throw- gave Zoe CPR, she was still cough- ing up everywhere. Then, I heard the 9-1-1 ing and throwing up. She tasted her sirens coming to us. I ran downstairs alaysia breath and wiped it off with a tissue. to go open the door for them. “Shyanne and Kayla, please come to “She tastes like gasoline,” my “Show me the trouble little girl,” me,” I said in a calm voice. mom said in a questioning tone, one of the medics told me. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Kayla “Alaysia go smell that cup she was “They’re upstairs, follow me,” I screamed with tears running down drinking from.” said a little wobbly. her face, running to her room. It smelt like gasoline from the I took them upstairs showing “Sissy, what happened to Zoe?” glass my other two sisters broke. them where Zoe and Mom were. Shyanne asked in confusion. I smelt it again to make sure I was They took out this red giant first aid “Go eat your food, Shyanne,” right. kid. They checked her and tried help- I said calmly while putting her in a “Mommy it smells like the glass ing her cough it. She started throw- chair. Kayla and Shyanne broke,” I said with ing up some more, it was orange and I hate babysitting, I thought to a shaky voice. clear. They took Zoe and my mother myself. “Alaysia call 9-1-1,” my mother to the hospital. But before Mommy

screeched as Zoe’s face started turn- left, she told me to watch the kids. You may be wondering, why I’m ing red. I turned around seeing Kayla crying babysitting these two children? Well I ran to get her phone and called and Shyanne nowhere to be found. they are my two little sisters, Shyanne 9-1-1 in a hurry. I looked at Kayla and she ran away and Kayla. I’m babysitting because “This 9-1-1 what is the emer- slamming the door behind her. Zoe, the baby, was sent to the hospi- gency,” said the operator. “Kayla, please come out of the tal. Here’s why she was sent. “My sister is choking on gaso- room,” I said in a shaky tone. line,” I said crying uncontrollably. “Leave me alone,” Kayla said In early March 2018, I was at “Can you tell me how she got to from the other side of the door. my grandma’s house, in the Bronx. the cup?” “Please.” I was in my old room, playing on “She thought it was water, so “I SAID NO.” my computer. My mom was in my she drank from it not knowing what She kicked the door, hard. grandmother’s room doing her hair it was.” Shyanne came up to me making getting ready to leave, so we can go “How old is your sister?” grabby hands at me showing that she back home in Queens. My sisters, “She’s 2 years old.” wanted to get picked up. I picked her Kayla and Shyanne, were in my “Where is your address?” up and brought her in my room so grandmother’s room, in time-out for “3534 Apple Street.” she can take a nap. breaking a Galileo liquid thermom- “Apartment or house.” eter my grandmother bought. I kept “A house.” playing my game, until I heard Zoe “Okay FDNY is only 1 minute coughing. I thought she would stop away.” but she didn’t, so I went to check on “Thank you so much.” her. I see my mom patting her back, while Zoe was throwing up.

70 71 They didn’t recognize me. I I was surprised that she did Brenda groaned, staring at them with a bare what I told her to do, but I was for face. I left the bathroom and told sure frightened by what these kids the teacher they wouldn’t come out. wanted to do in the bathroom the Maybe if I say they would listen, I can sit whole time. The bathroom back down. thinking I wouldn’t have Eventually I heard yelling. to ask them again. She didn’t bother A woman’s voice on the other It was close to the afternoon. I was to acknowledge that I was not capa- side of the door, in the classroom, leaning on a bookshelf while sitting Brenda ble of raising my voice. “Alright everyone outside the bath- on the alphabetic carpet. Kids were She told me again, “Can you tell room now!” sitting beside me, sitting in front of them to leave the bathroom.” We left the stalls and walked me looking at the teacher, criss- Already I wanted to just sit on outside the bathroom and stood in a crossed, patiently listening to what the carpet with the rest of the class line like as if we were in the military. she was saying. I was minding my and not deal with the bathroom My heart was racing as we were get- own business. All of a sudden, the problem. I walked back. I was an- ting yelled at by a staff. teacher stops and focuses me. noyed. I opened the bathroom door “If the teacher tells you to do “Brenda, can you go tell the kids again, yet again I still didn’t have something, you do it. It is unbeliev- in the bathroom to get out, please?” the guts to tell these kids to leave, able! She doesn’t have to repeat she asked. they were scary to me. One of them herself for you guys to leave the I looked back at the grabbed my arm and I was dragged bathroom.” She sighed and had final bathroom. The bathrooms in the in. Almost having myself get trapped chats with the teacher and left the school were in classrooms, some- inside the bathroom, one of the girls classroom. times shared with the classroom with braids closed the door. I was The kids were finally outside the next door. I realized I was the closest next to the sink that doesn’t work bathroom, just like what the teacher to the bathroom That’s why I was properly, I stood there. What do I do wanted in the beginning. I was saved called on first. I was confused by what now? I can’t do anything, I’m locked in… by the staff member in a rude way she wanted me to do. I nodded with these people! The way they talked but luckily, I was out. I looked at the and walked to the bathroom door, was just all in whispers. teacher. I hope you understand that I looked at the knob…… I didn’t say a word, hearing them didn’t want to be with them, and I was I was nervous. I guess I just giggle, talking about dares. What do dragged into their mess, but did you didn’t know there were kids in the I do now? There’s no way I can go back really can’t just tell them yourself instead bathroom. out to class, they’d stop me. I turned of calling on me in the first place.Which I looked back at my teacher, she around to face the other door that is what I wanted to explain to the was just teaching the class with a leads to another classroom. I’ll be teacher, but I kept to myself. I was book in her hand. I opened the door in more trouble if it seemed like I tried disappointed, I crossed my arms and a bit and saw the kids she wanted to skip class by going into a completely sat back on the carpet. Next time I out of the bathroom. I froze. different classroom while their busy. My shouldn’t have to deal with things on my Uhh, what am I supposed to say?? decisions were cut short. own or at all. Um….. they seemed scary. My posi- Next thing I knew, I was pushed I looked at the clock, it was tion was the same. Oh, come on... Do into a stall with a girl. The chatter almost time the day ends. I stare to something! became quiet. The girl tried to lean what was outside the window the “Excuse me... The teacher wants in forward and kiss me! trees and buildings shining bright by you guys to leave the bathroom.” I I backed away and told her the sun’s light. Can’t wait to go home. politely said. in a whisper, “Stay quiet, and do nothing.”

72 73 “We have to wake up so early were sitting in the back talking eat- Fanta tomorrow they said if you get there ing, and some were sleeping. The late the bus will leave”. Taniya said bus ride was pretty long, but we got “Ok let’s wake up early then there, and we had to slit and go to meet up together so we could go our groups we were with one of our Untitled together,“ Jayla said. fifth-grade teachers we were waiting “Yea let’s all meet up in the morn- on the line so we could enter the It was one sunny day and it was it ing and go together,” I said. park. our last subject before we go home. “I can’t wait for tomorrow” Aali- We finally reached the front and Me and my friends were so excited yah said. we entered the park when we got in because our teacher was going to We continue talking about tomor- it smelled like cotton candy, pop- announce what groups we were row then we went to go start playing corn, and etc. We started walking Fanta going to be in for our senior trip and with the others. It was getting late, so around the park and I saw this ride because it was our first senior trip. we all went home. that I wanted to get on. I begged my Anyways, we finish our lesson and When I got home I took a shower friends to come on the ride with me it was ten minutes left in class and ate then watched TV and used my because I didn’t want to go on there our teacher started announcing our phone. Then I was trying to go to by myself. groups and me and my friends were sleep because I had to wake up “Fanta you sure you want to go on separated. It was two of us in each around five so I could get ready and this ride? It looks kind of scary,” they group so I was still happy because leave because we had to be there said. I was with two of my close friends. around six. I was so eager for the trip “Pleaseeee if you go on this ride They had to do groups because it was because it was our first senior trip with me, I will go with you on any too much of us and they didn’t want because we were in 5th grade, it took rides you want to go on.” I said. it to be chaos and have kids running a while for me to fall asleep, but I Alikai wasn’t trying to come with around everywhere and to get lost. slept. us on the line so Taniya decided to We were going to an amusement Then I woke up went to take a come with me on the line. park in Connecticut called Lake shower and brush my teeth, etc. “Fine. I’ll go on the ride with you, Compound. When I was ready and dressed, my but whatever ride I want to get on We all talking about all the rides bag was packed with everything that you better come with me,” she said. we were going to go on and I have I was going to bring. Then I called my “Okay,” I said. never been on a roller coaster friends so we could meet up and go We were waiting in line for our before so I was excited to go on a together because we all live around turn. Then, it was finally our turn and roller coaster for the first time, it each other. we chose where we wanted to sit at. was finally dismissal time and me We met up and went to school Me, and Taniya chose to sit around and my friends got ready and left we together we were standing outside the middle. Then the workers came were walking to the park because we waiting for others to come because around and buckled us up and the would go to the park or our friends if it passed a certain time and they workers were getting ready to start house to hang out usually after didn’t come to the bus will leave the ride so then the ride started and school. because we had to be at the amuse- it was fun until it was going down I When we got to the park, we ment park at a specific time. We were looked down and I realized that we dropped our bookbags beside us and all waiting outside since it was pretty were so far up so my heart started went on the swings then we played early and the schools were closed, the pounding then the ride kept going tag me, Taniya, Jayla, and Aaliyah get weather was good outside it was hot. up and down and turning. I felt like I tired of running so we went to go Most people started arriving and was going to pass out and throw up, sit down while the others continue we went on the bus because we had every time I opened my eyes, I felt playing. to start leaving, me and all my friends like I was going to fall.

74 75 I kept screaming “Get Me Off!” off everyone started going on the My friend was just screaming be- rides they wanted to because the cause she was scared. Then the ride teachers were around so we me and daren finally stopped and we got off and my three friends were walking over started walking around the park. everywhere we got on some rides we I was like, “I’m never going on a wanted to go on and we had a fun roller coaster again.” time. Then my friends were like I was We had to get in our regular exaggerating it and it wasn’t that groups because we were meeting up bad. Then we were still walking with the other groups so we could around waiting because everyone eat. We were all eating and me and else in our group wanted to go on all my friends were just talking about different rides then my friend saw. all the rides and things we did so far. The ride she wanted to get on. We Then we went to our regular groups were waiting on line then and we were getting on more rides I said, “I’m not going on that ride because it was 30 minutes till we all I’ll just wait on line with you.” had to leave so we were constantly “Just come on this ride with me getting on more rides playing games it’s not worse than the ride we first and winning prizes. went on and you said that you will go Unfortunately, it was time to go on any ride that I wanted to go on if I and we all had to meet up with the went on that ride with you “. She said others so we can go on the bus and I really didn’t want to go on that go home. We got on the bus and ride but I was just gonna go on it everyone was just talking about what because she went on that ride with crazy rides they went on and the dif- me and I did say that if she went on ferent types of prizes we won, people the ride with me that I will go on any were using their phones, eating, and ride she wanted to go on . etc. it was like a few minutes on the The three of us ended up going on bus ride and many people were sleep the and the others in our group that I was extremely exhausted so I fell wanted to go on that ride too we asleep . went to and the workers came and Were in the bus for like a 1 hour buckled us up, I already knew what to we finally got to the school and we all expect so the ride was about to begin woke up and got off so we could go and my heart was racing because I home. Me and friends were walking was scared. home and we were telling each other The ride begins and I had my eyes of experiences and how much fun we closed because if I had my eyes open, had. I thought that I’ll fall. The ride kept Overall I had a great time I liked swinging from side to side I was get- the people that I was with I didn’t ting dizzy and I felt like I wand going actually thought I would go on a to pass out. roller coaster again but after the The ride finally ended, and I second and third time I went on one I was so relieved because I was so started to get used to it and it started ready to get off the ride. We got getting fun.

76 77 I had to step outside to answer My mother suggested, “You Ishaliqua the phone. She was so hysterical that should go back to school, it might I couldn’t understand her, so I was help you get over your father.” like, “Mom chill and tell me what “Okay mother, I’ll try.” You going to happened.” wish that you didn’t send me to school, Ishaliqua The time I lost She then exclaimed, “THE NEIGH- watch and see. “I’m not going back to my diary BOR JUST TOLD ME THAT JUSTIN school until after the funeral” JUST DIED, I’M ON MY WAY HOME “Okay fine whatever” On December 22, 2003, I met my NOW.” The day of the funeral, it was a sad best friend and future diary. We did but beautiful day. The church was so everything together; cooked, went She was there in about 10 min- big it looked like a castle. The church to the movies, watched football utes. We checked to see if he was had a high ceiling and it had just so games, he would even sit with me home, but he wasn’t. We had just happened to be white and gold just when I went to get my hair and nails got in the house the cops came to like our theme. My father had on a done, even though he hated it. the house with my dad’s ID they white tuxedo and a gold chain with The thing that I loved most announced that he was deceased. the matching ring. about my father was that I could tell At first, I thought it was a joke, so I “Ishaliqua, would you like to read him everything and he would give yelled, “This is a joke, right? Well you the obituary?” she asked, hoping I me advise or talk me out of dumb can stop, this is not funny!” would say yes. stuff. I also loved that when I would “I’m sorry but it’s not a joke. My “Yes, mom I would love to,” I said come home from school, he would sincere condolences to you both.” not meaningfully. Are you trying to be sitting in his recliner watching a I was so provoked; I went into my ruin me? football game. room and slammed my door so hard After the funeral was over, we The next day he was gone though. that the walls shook. Officer Aponte went out to eat. I had shrimp and That’s when I realized what the took my mother to identify the body. broccoli with pork fried rice from a expression “You don’t realize how We prayed that it wasn’t my dad, but Chinese all-you can eat restaurant. good you got it until it is gone,” it was. I went and locked myself in my The following day I had to go meant. Let me tell you how it room for the remainder of the week. to school, since I had told my mom happened: A week passed and we that I would try. It wasn’t that bad. I One afternoon, I was in the started arranging the funeral. We thought it could be better, though. I library minding my own business, decided on a gold and white theme. learned something important: that when my mother had to ruin my day My father knew many people, so even though something happens you it her bad luck. there was at least a hundred people have to continue with your life. his funeral. After the funeral I decided not to go to school because I couldn’t handle all the stress.

78 79 All I can think in my head was all These past three years taught Nyjhae the hurtful things I said in the past, me when life gives you something, all I wanted to do was take every- you cherish it. No matter if it’s family anthony P. thing back. I miss the times when I or an item. When it’s given to you, would come home from school and you must guard it with everything Can I Start Over show her my awards from my as- in you because the moment its gone sembly at school, I only did it to hear you’ll never get it again. I learned the Everything was going good as usual. her tell my mom, “She so smart, she hard way and I wish I could start over. I came home from school and made makes me so proud.” my two bowls of cereal, when the Hearing that made me so happy bell rang three times and I didn’t realize it until now. “Who is it?” After she passed my grades went “Jaleel” down extremely. I stopped caring The door slowly opened, heavy for school and didn’t care for others. footsteps approaching my way. Jaleel Nothing felt the same, I felt alone came in with river flowing tears com- inside. ing down his eyes. “You really getting out of “What's wrong?” my mother hand now, you think it’s cute to be asked out here fighting but it’s not!” my I knew something was wrong mother yelled. because I could hear the hurt in his “You don’t understand -- you voice. never listen,” I replied back. “Moody died.” I never asked to talk to my I laughed and said, “Stop play- mother I just assumed she wouldn’t ing!” but I knew he wasn't joking. listen because we don’t really have Though moody had cancer I talks. never imagined that she would die. Eventually I broke down in Everything in me wanted to cry but tears expressing how I felt. My aunt for some reason I couldn’t shed a Keasha spoke to me and told me her tear out my eye. feelings, I kind of felt a little better Today is the day of Moody's because I cried. I felt so relieved and funeral and I still hadn’t shed a tear distressed. since I heard she has passed. Walk- On the verge of going to sum- ing into the funeral I suddenly felt mer school, I suddenly wanted to butterflies in my stomach. The whole change my ways and get my act right. room felt depressed. I didn’t even And I did. Not only did my aunt’s get to the casket but one glance of death show me pain, but it showed her made me so sad. I started to get me how to pick myself up when I fall. angry that she was gone, I wasn’t I had to stop depending on people to ready for her to leave. come save me when I didn’t need to be saved.

80 81 “Ms. can I go use the My mind was thinking about Jasmine bathroom?” Yazmin and how was I going to “Yes” she said. I walk to the hang out with at lunch. I guess I’m bathroom log, sign out, and use going to be by myself again. I left Goodbye, the bathroom really quickly. I saw the school with my mom halfway my friend in the front of the line. home my Friend I made small talk with her then I She asked, “How was your When I was walking with my mom to said goodbye to her. Then the bus day?” school, I kept on thinking about my kids’ line. I don’t like it when she asks 1st and only best friend Yazmin was I went back to class, signing me about my day. “It was good” I leaving the school because her family in. My teacher came up to me said to her happily. was moving. when I was done. “What did you do” she said When I get to school I walk “I was working on my essay,” to the lunch room I see the teach- “Were you in the hall talking I said. Jasmine ers was getting to their class and with your friend?” she yelled. I “That’s all?” going up stairs. I see my best did not say anything. “Yes, that’s all.” friend going up stairs I gave her a “Were you talking in the It was a normal day. My hug. When I gave her a hug I feel halls?” she yelled again. I shank brothers and I were playing happy, but sad. I never wanted to my head yes. together but once it was time let go of her, but had to sadly. “Go wash your face in the for bed I had trouble sleeping My class was going up stairs bathroom.” because all I was thinking about with her a little. 1st and 4th I did as she said. I stayed in- was Yazmin. period was to finish my dog and side the bathroom for 5 minutes cat essay. 5th period I spent the so scary to go back to class but rest of lunch thiking but I forgot I know if I stay in the bathroom, to say goodbye to her. I want it to I’m going to get in more trouble see her again so I can say good- so I went back to class with some bye, but we don’t have the same tissue in my hand. I work on my class together and she takes the essay even if I did not get that far. school bus and my mom picks I did not ask my teacher for be- me up. I was not able to force it cause I got scared that I be yelled on my essay, so I did not get that at again at dismissal. far. The last period I hear the kids “Have a nice day kid.” Ms. C who take the school bus getting said. ready. If Yazmin takes the bus, I can “Goodbye Ms. C,” Every ask to use the bathroom and bump student said. into her and say goodbye. Long after,t even if there was a lot of noises that made it hard to even think straight. I did not say goodbye to her.

82 83 My umbrella was broken. The rain stopped and I do not care Victor I decided to run to a fuel station anymore if my classwork if got wet. I that is near to another bus stop. In just wanted find my home. the fuel station I could cover myself When I walked to the direction and my backpack from the rain. that the woman told me, in my I Am lost I was so bored waiting 10 minutes mind I repeated many times “Y si for the bus and when finally, I saw the me pierdo de nuevo? / If I get lost “Hasta la tarde / See you later” I said bus approaching to bus stop. I took again?” I tried to use my phone again to my mom when I left the house to the bus and took a seat and I relaxed. and this time the signal worked. go to school. Victor Some minutes later I saw that I Then I looked for my home ad- Was a normal day, in some class did a mistake… I took the wrong bus. dress and when I found the direc- was very difficult because I didn’t I was nervous because I do not know tion the expression of my face was speak any English, but my partners the city and I was sure that I was so like: “:o”. I was so far away from my (now my friends) helped me to do far away from the school and home. home, I had to walk 15 minutes to the classwork. I got off the bus and looked get there. At that moment I felt very When the school day was over, around me. I was definitely lost. unsure of myself and every minute I walked with a friend to the bus I tried so many times looking for I looked at the cellphone to see the stop, but he had to take another my location on Google maps, but I right way. Then after a few minutes bus. When I walked to the bus stop I did not know why I couldn’t. Then I of walking I saw some streets that I looked at the sky and it looked dark realized that my phone had no signal. know. if it was raining, The better idea I had was walking When I got home, I was very, very “Tengo suerte de traer mi som- some blocks. wet and my mom asked me what had brilla/ I’m lucky because I have my I saw some persons and I asked happened. I told her about my story, umbrella” I said. to a woman “Hi! Do you speak and we laughed at what happened I was listening to music and English?”. to me. I felt a drop of water in my arm but I “Yes, can I help you?” she replied This taught me that I have to pay didn’t care. while looking puzzle to saw me attention to where I am and where Then started to rain… soaked with water. I go. Now I always pay attention to The rain was getting stronger I explained my situation to her where I am and where I go. by the minute and I took out my and I asked again, “Sabes donde umbrella, I laughed and said, “Oh my esta la calle Grand Concourse?/ You god...” know where Grand Concourse street is?” She told me I was 10 blocks away, I thanked her and left to try to find my home.

84 85 This is so stupid, why am I do- All these different parts and Emily ing this. I decided to do it out my finally one part stood out to me. It window because out my window you was a flower garden of these beauti- get a perfect view of the sky and its ful flowers, the way that the flowers beautiful sunsets and of plane pass- bloomed and the way the colors Pictures ing by, so I tried out my window. The blended together from pink to pur- sky would sometimes go from blue ple it was just breathe taking. “You’ve seen people do it and you to purple to pink, to a white and they I took my position and got close should try it maybe it could help.” He all blend together, and it would just to the ground to get a better angle. told me. Emily take my breath away. The beautiful Then I got that perfect spot and I “I don’t know, that seems kind sky always brought some sort of life snap that one photo. I instantly fell in of stupid.” into me, makes me feel alive almost. love with it. I tried some more to get “Try it first then judge it.” But it failed completely, I threw my used to it. I continued to try different “What would I take pictures of.” phone on my bed and slammed places around me to cope with my “Flowers.” He knows that I love down onto my bed. I wanted to give depression. flowers, roses specifically. But I didn’t up because it seemed completely As middle ended, I continued want to take pictures of that. stupid, but I decided to give it an- to keep taking pictures to help me. “What would I use anyway.” other try. Taking pictures has improved my “Your phone camera, a lot of “This is stupid. It didn’t work.” mood every single day. I realized that photographers use their phones so “Capture a picture that shows it changed me and made me want to you can too.” how your feeling. How are you feel- keep continuing to do it, for every- I’ve seen people use photog- ing today? “My boyfriend asked. one who struggles with depression raphy to express how they feel. My “The same as every other day, don’t give up, keep trying, it gets boyfriend decided to tell me to give dark, unhappy and sad.” better, maybe you can try using pho- it a try. So, I wanted to try using it “Well take something you think tography to cope. as a coping mechanism. Through- that is dark and put it to use.” Now I raised my hand and out middle school I fell into some Something dark? Oh, my curtains snapped more pictures like it’s my depression, being depressed is are pretty dark and maybe I can make it passion. constantly being sad, unhappy, tired, work. Another fail. So, then I started unwanted, it’s a horrible feeling and to get frustrated and wanted to give no one should go through that. I had up but, I didn’t. no type of way of knowing how to I spent hours trying to figure get better until he brought up this out what I was doing wrong, a way I idea. It was very hard to get inspira- could get better. I tried other things tion, inspiration is what I was looking around me, and it failed again. Maybe for, so I tried taking pictures out my I should try a different location. But window. where? The park? The mall? I tried somewhere close to me, so to the park I went. At first it was really hard trying to find something to capture my moment.

86 87 call you guys as soon as you get to It was June 27, 2015 around Yarely New York.” 7:30 when I landed in New York. My We got to my aunt’s house mother, and siblings, and I were wait- Iriana and got all of our luggage. I told my ing for my aunt and uncle to pick us mother, “I don’t want to go. I want to up from the airport, I looked outside Leaving stay.” the windows and it looked so different She said, “It’s going to be okay we from L.A. My aunt and uncle came it Los Angeles will come back to visit again.” was the first time meeting them, they June 26, 2015 was the day I was leaving We went inside the car and while were very nice as my uncle was saying Los Angeles to come to New York. Me, my uncle was driving me, my mother, hi to my siblings my aunt asked me, my mother, two sisters and brother and siblings to the airport, I looked out “Are you okay?” were the only ones coming to New the window and saw all the palm trees, I smiled and said, “Yes.” York. We came to New York because and cities and I started crying again. I We went inside the car and were my mother has a lot of family here and was very emotional the whole ride. in there for 40 minutes to get to the barely any family in L.A. I was upset It took us about 45 minutes to Bronx. I was very excited to meet my and excited at the same time. I was get to the airport. The whole time I other family members. My mother upset because I was going to miss my just thought about all the memories was just having a conversation with my father, other family members, friends, of my father, older siblings, and me. I uncle and aunt on the way to my other and all the places I used to be at. I was remembered all the times he made me aunt’s house who lives in the Bronx. afraid something bad would happen feel better when I was upset, or when I looked outside the car window and while we were on the plane. I was also he would pick me up from school and saw different things I was ready to go excited to be in a new place, experi- take me, and my siblings to eat and go experience all the things New York has. ence different things, and to meet new to the park after. All that went through My aunt asked us, “Where would people. It was going to be the first time my head on the way there. you guys like to go?” feeling the snow, looking at different As soon as we got to the airport Me and my siblings said, “We beaches, going to see The Statue of and were ready to go upstairs were, we would like to go to Time Square”. Liberty, going to Times Square, and had to pass through, we started saying My mother told me and my much more things. goodbye to my two uncles and aunt siblings about Time Square once, so we During that day all I could who drove us there. I remember my wanted to go to Time Square. think about is leaving L.A, I was mostly aunt telling me and siblings, “I love you When I got to my aunt’s house, upset the whole day. Few hours later guys so much we will go to New York I was very nervous to meet everyone, before heading to the airport, me and to visit you guys one day.” when me, and my mother, and siblings my older siblings went to my father’s After that we waited for, we can came inside everyone said “Welcome,” job to see him and my uncle and say enter the plane. Two minutes later we I saw all my cousins, uncles, and aunts. goodbye. As we got there, I felt myself went inside the plane put our bags That was when I found my best friend, already starting to cry. Tears came away, sat down and waited. I hugged which was my cousin Elizabeth. I knew down my eyes. As I was hugging my fa- my mother and she told, “everything’s me and my cousin were going to be so ther, me and my older siblings started going to be fine.” close, because she was the first person crying even more. As the plane started moving, who came up to me and said “hi”, gave A few minutes later it was time for I thought about all the nice things New me a hug, and asked me play with her. us to head back to my aunt’s house to York was going to have. I was excited I was very happy because I met my get our luggage and go to the airport. to meet my family members from other family members. These past 4 Before going back to the car my New York. I was going to meet all my years I experienced so many things. I father told me and my siblings, “It’s cousins, aunts, and uncles. saw things I thought I would never see. going to be okay, I will see you guys We were on the plane for about again one day.” 6 hours and all I thought about was “I will stay in contact with you when I was going to see my father. I guys all the time, I love you so much.” fell asleep for a few hours, and when I Have a nice flight. Get there safe I will woke up, we were about to land. I was very excited.

88 89 I wasn’t offended because this was That day at lunch we went to the Savanna the second time, she had shown me courtyard and I tried speaking to her. we weren’t really cool anymore. She then went on to say, “We aren’t best friends anymore because I feel The reason why we fell out/ some type of way that you didn’t Snakes Don’t our bond broke was over two petty want to fight for me and people have Always Hiss reasons. The first was over a boy. been telling me you’ve been talking The second reason was because she about me behind my back.” I’ve learned not to trust anyone. disagreed with the fact that I am not I told her “It doesn’t matter to This all started when I met my ex a fighter. me.” best friend, K.D. She was new to the A few months back, I had The whole time in my head I was school. She was in the class 702 and got into a fight with a girl I’m going thinking, I knew this was coming I’m I was in the class 703 in the school to call her M.D for other reasons. not surprised that this is the way things Savanna Bronx Writing Academy. When I first Because K.D was cool with me she turned out. saw her, she was alone and very quiet. chose not to talk to M.D. One day From then on, we never spoke I was shy at first, but in gym class, I M.D had started a problem me and again everyone was shocked after would shoot the basketball by myself. K.D. So, we went to the dean K.D that my movements/life changed a One day we just ended up speaking called her cousin to make sure that lot. because of that. When I first actually we were safe. The dean sent me I learned never to trust anyone. spoke to her, she was so nice, and back downstairs I don’t know what Why? Because I went from being we were always laughing. From there happened after between K.D and the most liked to most hated in a matter on we just got closer and I told her dean. After school we went down- of just my 8th grade school year. I everything she told me everything. stairs and saw K. D’s cousin, she’s think to myself over and over again, Before I used to be very social and about 20. They were getting ready to every time in a new setting. Don’t have a lot of friends, after this hap- confront M.D. put faith or depend on anyone else pened that all changed. K.D had said, “I’m planning on in sticking around or keeping your This all started during the putting my hands on her. Do you secret. 8th grade year. My Ex best friend want to?” I stand out because I don’t care started being cool with the people I I said, “no.” about having friends at this point i had problems with. The moment I said that her facial know nobody is permanent and if After school I said to her, “So this expression changed, and she told me, they decide to ride with you it isn’t is what we are doing now?” “If you’re not going to then leave.” always real.w She responded with “Yes”. I walked away with a friend of I thought to myself, I wouldn’t do mine. that to her because I am a loyal friend A week later is when our friend- what made her do that to me? ship went down the drain/our bond Another time where I noticed she broke. I went to all my classes and in was changing on me was the day 4 between transitioning I tried to hug girls from my old school had a fight. her. She moved away with a smirk on It was me her and a group of boys. her face and said, “I don’t do those,” We had stuck around after the fight and started laughing. was over and the whole block cleared I wondered, What did she mean by out. We got into a conversation I that? What did I do? don’t remember how it started K.D said, “I have no friends”.

90 91 malleik

kyamani

92 93 Three or four days later, Charles his bottom lip. Charles fell and the Najae went to the store on the block he boys ran off because the cops came. had beef with. Charles had come out Charles was rushed to the hos- of the store and the boys were like, pital. His mom’s crying. Charles had “Oh there go that punk right there.” to get stitches and had to say in the Najae SLICED Charles looked back and noticed hospital for a week. that it was the boys that he had been Charles move to a different When I was younger, and I was living arguing over the phone with. Charles place and swore to never be part of a in Harlem me and my brother met turned around and started running gang again. this boy named Charles. Me and home. The boys started to chase him. my brother was basically broth- Charles ran down the hill and ran ers with him. We had been friends into a cut around the corner. through all of elementary. We were The boys yelled out to Charles, in elementary for four years to- “Yea you better run and watch when gether. The boy Charles had gotten I catch you, punk.” into some beef with some boys up Charles continued running the block called Lamen. He got into home. some beef with them because he A week later Charles hung out posted a picture on Instagram and with five of his “friends”. They went Facebook jacking their block. Charles to the basketball court that was on didn’t know he had the boys that he the boys’ block. Charles saw the had beef with on social media. boys again and this time one of the One day the boys called Charles boys had a blade. Charles started to phone saying they saw him on social put his hands up to fight because media jacking their block. Charles he thought his friends had his back. started going crazy on the phone. Charles looked back and his so-called Charles was like, “Yo word to my friends were gone. They had run on mother ya guys straight punks.” Charles because they were scared. The boys on the phone were Charles turned back around, and like, “Watch when I see you, punk.” the boys sliced him from his ear to Then Charles hung up the phone.

94 95 So now I’m just cruising down the When my mom finally got there, Marcus street but right as I thought I was safe she was talking to the police to see the undercover cops rolled up on me. what happened and why I was in I just started riding away mad quick. there. They told her that I assaulted While I was riding, I looked back and a girl and had taken her bike. But The 47th saw mad cop cars behind me and one the bike I was riding had belonged precinct car heading my direction. to my sister’s best friend who was in Marcus I said, “Screw it!” and hopped off my house with my sister. I told them I said screw it and hopped off the the bike and tried to run. that’s how I got the bike. bike and try to run then some tall fat Then some tall fat light skinned After this was all cleared up, my light skinned police officers came and police officers came and tackled me mom got me and her a Uber home. tackled me right as I was about to run right as I was about to run inside my Finally, my Uber came, and my mom inside my building... building. Now all the older homies took me home. The whole time I One hot summer night I was with from my neighborhood and from was scared. I thought m my mom was my guys. I was young I was only 14 and my building are looking out their going to kill me. But when we got years old. My boys and I were chill- windows. home, my mother spoke to me about ing on the block and a fight broke The police put me in their cop the situation. out a little bit down from where we car and closed the door. While I After all this what I had learned were sitting on our bikes. was sitting in the car with the door was to not run from police and to We all road over to see what was closed the police officers were talk- watch what you borrow from people. going on. Once we got there me and ing. I was looking around and there my friends were all sitting on our had to be at least 40 police officers bikes watching. Then some old white around. After about twenty minutes, man from my neighborhood called they decided to take me to the 47th Lue decided to break up the fight. precinct. Out of nowhere we heard sirens While I was in the precinct, I was and we all decide to leave. We all just sitting there thinking, What did I rode up the block and the police do to be here? I was just sitting there drove around the corner mad fast thinking how much it hurt. it felt like and tried to hop out and grab my I scraped my wrists and that police friend. My friend pushed the door car smelled like straight sweat mixed closed and we all dipped up the hill. with Febreze. We tried going down a differ- Then they asked for my informa- ent hill and the police were at the tion to contact my parents. They bottom, so we all split up. I went finally contacted my mom, but she down a different hill from the rest of was at work the whole time so it everybody. took like a good two hours for my mom to get there.

96 97 “BJ is dead” I said with a crack in remember our conversation. BJ kiara my voice. always called me auntie even though The day of the funeral he was older than me. He was the “I’m really not ready to see BJ in only one that called me auntie. the casket” “Hey auntie!” he said as he walked Forever My sister Tanya took me and my in the door and gave me a big hug. in my Heart niece’s hands and took us up to the I just smiled and hugged him back. front to see him. I just stared at him. After we sang happy birthday to June 23rd I was shopping with He looked so different and pale. I got my niece Kassidy, he was standing my mother and sister. While I was closer and touched him. His hand was next to me and saw me looking in my shopping my phone started to ring. so cold, and I couldn’t handle it, so phone PErIOD 7 I looked and I saw it was my father. I I started to cry. My sister then took “You have a boyfriend? You figured he was just calling to bother me out of the funeral home to calm better not!” BJ said as he took my me, so I answered. me down and get some air. phone out of my hand. I stood up “Hello” I say It was all still unbelievable. I’ve instantly and took my phone back “BJ got shot” been to a couple of funerals, but this and laughed. I stood silently. Then I started was my first time feeling anything, “I’ll beat him up” to ask questions like, “Is he okay?” my first time I felt empty inside. I “I don’t have a boyfriend!” “Where did he get shot?” couldn’t help but question God. Why “You better not” BJ said. My dad didn’t have any answers BJ? Out of all people, why him? I know That was our last conversation. for me. All he told me was that he Kim is going through it right now, I The last time I went to go see BJ was on his way there and he would thought to myself. If I felt horrible, was on the 16th last month. When call me back when he got there. I knew my sister was feeling much I stood next to his grave, I wanted So, I just waited for my dad to call worse. to cry but my father and sister were me back, hoping he’ll put BJ on the I went back inside of the funeral there, so I held it in and stood strong. phone and hoping they would tell me home and sat in my seat. I started to But I felt that pain in my chest. It everything would be okay. cry again when I saw the video of him isn’t fair that he had his life taken Ten minutes went by and my playing. When I heard the pastor say away. Anytime I think of him or see a phone starts ringing. something about him being young picture of him I get chills because it’s “.....” He’s quiet my heart just fell apart because he still unbelievable. “Hellooo?” didn’t deserve this and me and my I believe BJ could’ve been saved if “BJ is dead!!” were the words that family didn’t deserve this pain we still it was the right doctor. He could’ve came out of my father’s mouth. carry in our hearts till this day. been saved if they got there sooner. My phone dropped and tears It’s a pain that will never go away. This is one of the reasons why I want started to run down my face. I had no He was only 18 years old and had so to become a doctor when I grow up. I words. All I kept thinking was this isn’t much to live for. BJ was such a good want to be able to save lives. One day real BJ isn’t dead. It felt like my heart person everyone loved him, and I I’ll be able to say, “I saved someone’s was ripped out of my chest. I didn’t mean everyone. BJ was the type of life today.” think this was a deadly situation. person you’d want to be around. He I know if BJ was here today, he A few seconds later my mom was always full of energy. Most of the would be proud of me and I’ll con- walked out of the fitting room, time he’ll be dancing or saying some- tinue to make him proud and he’ll be rushed to me, and asked me thing funny. He could make anyone looking down at me smiling. “What’s wrong?” laugh. His personality and soul were “Spread positive vibes today -- I couldn’t speak I just wanted her just so pure and unique. don’t let any negative energy bring to hold me. I remember the last time I saw you down.” him was January 13 2018 and I BJ’s words.

98 PErIOD 7

100 101 After hours of testing, the doc- When I woke up, the first thing Melany tors had told my mother and I that I saw was my mother standing at the I had appendicitis. They continued foot of my bed. to tell us that my appendix was She asked, “How do you feel?” inflamed and needed to be removed trying to stay calm. The Bigger or it could rupture. My mother and I No matter how much she tried Picture were both very scared because I had to hide it, I could see in her eyes it never had surgery before. My mom looked like she had been waiting My mother and father had been would pace back and forth in my anxiously forever. Melany fighting for my custody for some room with an anxious look on her For the next month, my mom time. After my mother won the court face. didn’t even mention work while I was case, my mother and I were finally at Minutes before surgery the doc- in recovery. There wasn’t a second peace. After a long two years I gladly tors were rolling me on a stretcher where she didn’t come in and ask, no longer had to see my father. on my way to the operating room. “How are you feeling?” My mom My mother would consistently My mother was holding my hand the would spend as much time with me work, which left me feeling very whole time. I was trembling with fear. as she could. She’d cook for me and lonely. All I could think about everything even carry me up five flights of stairs. “Why does she always have to that could go wrong. I thought about I now saw the bigger picture. work?” I’d ask myself. not waking up and never seeing my Not only was my mother my sole These confusing feelings not loved ones again. provider, but she did whatever she only left sadness but anger in my My mom continuously tried to thought was best for me without little mind. calm me down. “Everything will be hesitation. My mother is my savior okay,” she repeated. and I’d be nowhere without her. Now When I was nine, I started to get I didn’t notice my mom actually at fourteen years old, I’d do anything very sharp pains in my stomach, but start to cry until we got to a certain to make my mother proud. My plans they were never to the point that I set of double doors and they told my are to go to a private college and couldn’t handle it. mother she couldn’t go any further. attempt at a psychology or pre-med One night, I couldn’t sleep be- I was now alone, even more degree so I could be a certified sur- cause the sharp pains had come back scared than I was before. I felt like a geon or psychiatrist. I owe everything and they were unbearable. lost puppy without my mom. I was to my mother, and I will not stop “They hurt so bad that I can’t now in the operating room with working hard until I have given this sleep,” I told my mom. bright lights and people with masks woman the world and more. She immediately had the idea to and gloves on staring down at me. rush me to the emergency room. The surgeon injected me with several fluids then told me to count back- wards from one hundred. I started at one hundred but once I got to ninety-eight everything went blank.

102 103 When we were getting ready, I We got out and started handing Tyriq was dancing quietly because I was out the food and accessories. We for- happy to do this event. Before we got what they said. Time was going went to hand off the food, it was by so fast and I was excited. cold at the time so we also packed It was now nighttime and we got Food Drive Event gloves, scarves, and hats. We listened back from Jersey to Time Square I to music on the way to make another think to find more people. I remem- One day, I was getting ready to go Tyriq stop and I started falling asleep once ber having a conversation with a kid out for an event. It was an exciting again. before he became my friend named day for me. When people first see Time went by and I had to carry Kuron. We became friends pretty me, they think I’m a troublemaker or two big bags. After we left, time quickly. We started to talk about bad influence but inside I’m a cool, went by and it was the most excit- things that I forgot about. We now caring, funny person. It was my mom, ing part, handing the food out. I have a pretty close friendship and I her friends, some kids, my uncle, my can smell the rice, green beans, and even go to his house sometimes. dad, and myself. chicken in the trunk from the back I remember making a stop When we were on our way to seat I was in. It was like my nose was to a guy going into the train station make the trays of food, I was excited in heaven. In my head I said, they are and I guess he brought his friends and then I fell asleep. We were all going to love this. because he came back up with more talking, cooking, and preparing. The first person we saw was a lady people. When they arrived at the When we got to the spot for prepar- in the middle of the street, crying car, we started handing out the food. ing, we started cooking and getting with a sign. It was like I almost felt Then they started to swarm the car the food ready for the homeless. what she was going through. My un- and we ran out of food. I said to my- When everyone was done cooking cle and my dad managed their way to self if I don’t do right in school, I will end and preparing the trays, we had no her and get her out of traffic. She left up like this. I also thought to myself, idea it was over one hundred trays. with the food and under the highway they were really that hungry. It got to My mom is a caring person when to eat and I can see the excitement in the point where one guy stole from it came to her kids and also my her. Her mood changed quickly. his friend and my uncle had to put father. They are when it comes to us We left to go to different parts him in his place. And no not fighting. like when we are going somewhere. of Jersey and continue our day. We After that day, I had a whole new They either tell us no or get the exact arrived at a school or church looking perspective on the world. That day location because they don’t want to place to see a lot of homeless people really opened my eyes. lose any kids. there. I thought to myself, damn that’s a lot of people!

104 105 As I stepped on the court, I saw was screaming. I still made the three richard that the other kids on the other team coach so already there is tension in were much taller than my starting the air with him and his coach. five. The other team was wearing My teammate gets the ball dishes black and white jerseys. I was put in it to me and I see my center open. THE FINALS as a point guard for my team which I passed him the ball and then he meant I had to take care of the ball made the layup. Score is 4-2, they got My team was on the yellow school and look for my teammates who the ball and shot the three and make richard bus going to a finals game at a school were open. I told my coach that I it. Score is 4-5. Then I got the ball, in Brooklyn, and it was 11 people on wanted to observe what the other passed it to my teammate, and he the bus and the time was 10:00. I team’s strategy was then go on to missed the shot, but my other team- was wearing a black Nike shirt with the court with the right mindset, but mate puts it back up score is 6-5. sweatpants and kyries on. On top of it was not the right place to tell my It was the second quarter, and, that, I had a blue Adidas sweater on. coach what I wanted, I just had to do in the gym, they were playing music On the bus, my coach which was what she asked. from a Bluetooth speaker which the a female who was into the sport When I got passed the ball, I was speaker was a black color. My team basketball and who played in high not expecting it to go to me because was up by one. I got subbed in. As I school. On the school bus, we were my other teammate had his hands got the ball, I was jogging down the playing Lil Tjay to hype us up for the out to catch the ball, but I still caught court while dribbling the ball. Then game. My teammates and I were the ball and the ball felt rough. As I my shoes were untied so I stumbled dancing from the middle of the bus. dribbled down the court, I fumbled and smacked the floor. As time went by, I realized that the ball because the other player All I heard was, “Ohhhh” from the there was already a team at the on the other team was playing hard from the bleachers. school. When we got off of the bus, I defense on me. The other team got The referee called a travel and realized that I did not know the other the ball and he scored a layup. I got he gave the ball to the other team. basketball team’s name. the ball again, but this time I dribbled I got subbed out to tie my shoe and When we got into the school’s down the court and passed the ball I grabbed myself a Gatorade and it gym, it was smelling as if the gym to my teammate who shot a mid- had a tasted like cherries from a tree was just sprayed with a type of air range shot and made the shot, so the mixed with a little bit of water. spray. But the worst part was that we score was 2-2. As I was on the bench, my team couldn’t even practice a little bit. In my head I realized that there scored all the way to 13 and the As I was changing in the bath- were six players on the court for the other team had 17. I got subbed in room into my red basketball jersey other team. I rushed to the coach to at the 3rd quarter to bring up the and black shorts, my jersey number address the situation and then the score for my team. As I got the ball, was number 4. Before I got on the coach called out that there were six I quickly walked with the ball while basketball court, my coach which was players on the court. As the other dribbling the ball at the same time wearing Jordan Sevens with a red team get the ball, they dribbled and passed it to my teammate and he and black leather jacket and black down the court. passes it to my other teammate, and jeans, huddled me and teammates Then out of the blue the point he dribbled into the paint for a layup up and told us that whatever we do guard sprinted to the three-point but missed the layup. we have to win this game and most line and tried to get a contact foul The other team got the ball and importantly play with pride and but doesn’t get it but still makes the I played hard defense on the other confidence even though we got to three. His coach was yelling at him for guard and I stole the ball and make the school late. not following the play and said that if the layup. Score was 15-17. The other he does it again, he’s getting subbed team got the ball and went down the out. The player who made the three

106 107 court and made a shot so now the My whole team ran on the court Changing but I make beats and send them to score is 15-19. and hugged me. The other team Terron my mind rappers and singers. I’m into music I got the ball again and run as fast walks off the court shocked that because of my brother, he got him- as I can and pop a three and made I made the shot. As we continued My life wasn’t the best because when self a piano and he was editing some the shot and my team mates on the celebrating, I went to my friend on I was younger I felt like I wasn’t going beats his friend did and once he was sideline were screaming because they the other team and said, “Good to be successful in life. So that’s when showing me the keys to a piano, I were so proud of me for making the game,” and showed him good I thought, I should become a youtube. got more into it. That’s when I got shot. As the other guard on the other sportsmanship. Youtube came to my mind because I myself a laptop because I knew I was team tried to pass the ball to his After we finished celebrating, wanted to make a name for myself. talented. Acting is not in the family, team mate my teammate catches the my whole team including my coach, In the future I want to live in los but I want to be an actor in life be- ball and makes the layup know the shook the other team’s hands angeles with my own dream house cause I’m into all the marvel movies score is 20-19. and waited to get out trophy. My there. The reason why I want to build and all the superpower things. But It was the fourth quarter and I coach got it and raised it and we all my house there is because half of my I don’t know where to start acting , ran to the bathroom to use the toilet screamed “Yeah!” family lives there and all my favorite but acting is in my mind right now. and I run into my close friend from After that they called my name youtubers live there too. I just want But I want to be successful in life so I elementary. I gave him and hug and for most improved player and my to travel all around the world and can help other people succeed in life I gave him my Snapchat so we could team clapped for me as I received my now that I’m older I know right from because you only live once and it’s stay in contact with him and say award. I sat down and watched as my wrong. I thought of being an actor good to achieve your goal. hopefully I see him on the court. other teammate got most valuable After I finish using the bathroom, player and I clapped for him and he is I go back in the gym and go to the very proud. sideline and see that there is 11 “You did a good job today,” my seconds left in the game and score coach said. is 20-22. My team is down by 2. My We were on the bus going back to coach calls a timeout and tells my the Bronx and we were all bragging team mates to look for me open and about how much points we scored. pass me the ball to shoot a three to Before we got off the bus in front of win or a mid-range or a layup to tie our middle school which was named the game. MS 129 my coach said, “That this was I got the ball and pass it to my only the beginning for all of us.” other teammate, and he sees me open passes me the ball and I make the shot cush!!! It goes in.

108 109 About three years had passed and I I was going to go to a school that anthony S. was still playing music in the 8th grade. wouldn’t have been any benefit to me My teacher wasn’t the type to encour- in the end, so I ended up transferring. I age the band to play but I felt different. wanted to go to Celia Cruz, but I knew Music was something I had always it was too late for that. I couldn’t audi- My Music Life wanted to do because it was something tion because I didn’t have an instru- I grew up with. From my uncle teaching ment since they were too expensive, Music was a big part of my life. I was me how to play the drums to me even and auditions were done, so I didn’t ten years old in the fifth grade, going singing songs that my mom would play have a choice but to go to another to PS.76 in the Bronx. It was the day at home when she was cooking food school. I really wanted to pick up music that my school was enrolling 5th grade for me and my sister, I’ve always loved so instead of begging for another students to band. It was after school, music. Even my sister began loving chance, I did something else. I went on so I ran home from school because music as much as I did. I would always to Spotify and searched up my favorite I was so excited to finally have an think to myself, I know that I’m going to artist, Frank Sinatra, and found a play- instrument. My mom and I went to my be a famous musician. list of different artists and songs that school at 3:00 pm, since I was to pick Time passed and my teacher was were similar to music I would listen to. I an instrument after school, meaning even more discouraging. She didn’t began drifting off into my thoughts as I it would take a while for me to choose seem to really care if the band played listened to 50’s rock. anthony S. my instrument, since the school was music or not, making me lose interest I would imagine myself in a dark packed with students. in playing my instrument. She would room with the music playing in the I was filled with a lot of excitement have some sort of vibe that would background and see different notes of walking to school. There was such a show how she felt. The whole class no- the music surrounding me. My favorite long line just to choose an instrument, ticed it. She would even stop the entire song at the time, “Blue Velvet” by but I thought to myself, This is going class from playing just to keep it silent. Bobby Vinton, was another imagina- to be worth it. I was so excited that I It made me feel down that she didn’t tion. I would sit on my bed and imagine couldn’t keep still while I was in the care much that it led me to believe that myself in the position of a musician line, jumping around. music was a waste of my time. for the song. I would be in a jazz club By the time it was my turn to pick The end of 8th grade came, and it with many performances by different an instrument, I noticed that most of was finally summer. I felt free from mu- musicians and an audience of over the instruments were already taken. sic and was happy that I didn’t have to 500 people. I can see Bobby Vinton My mom told me, “I don’t think play anymore. If I were to play, I would standing in the center of the stage with you’re going to get an instrument.” have ended up going to a summer other musicians behind him. I was one The only two instruments left were camp for music. All my friends that of those musicians with a guitar in my the clarinet and the flute. The obvious were still playing music did end up in hand, playing every note right. There choice to me was the clarinet because that camp, but I didn’t worry about it. were even ladies on the side helping it was the only instrument that I’ve I would always think to myself, I finally out with the song. The crowd went ever heard of at the time. have time to worry about other things and crazy when they heard Bobby Vinton’s They presented the flute and I enjoy my summer. voice like we were at a concert. Bobby opened the case to a sparkling clarinet, would sing the song and it went, “She that shone like a diamond. Summer was coming to an end and wore blue velvet. Bluer than velvet was My favorite childhood cartoon, I felt the need to play music again. I the night.” The song would finish, and Spongebob Squarepants, was a show that found out that everyone that went the applause would come in, giving me I would always watch after school. My to that camp was going to the same a sense of happiness, then I would be favorite character was Squidward. His school, Celia Cruz. I knew that if I were back in my bed, cracking a huge smile. clarinet was a big part of what he was, in that camp, I would also be in that I then figured that I was lucky and it was something he enjoyed doing. school. It gave me a sense of loneliness enough to even have an instrument. I related to him so much for that, and it knowing that I wasn’t going to know I made new friends, talked to the old made me believe that I was him. anyone in my school. ones all the time, and just became joy- ful altogether.

110 111 women, and I could see all the tall “Are you okay?,” she worried. Jalen buildings. I don’t get it; How can people “I can’t find my mommy,” me build all these tall buildings? Aren’t they crying. scared of the height? “Alright come with me. ‘’I’ll help Finally, my mom took me and my you find your mom.” The Lost Boy of little sister inside a shoe store. As we “What is her name? Do you Manhattan walked inside all I could see many remember?” people holding shoe boxes. My mom “No I just really miss her.” Jalen I always love going out to the city; took my hand and my sister’s hand. She grabbed my hand and started It gives me comfortability and just As soon as we go inside, I let go of walking with me from block to block. makes me happy. I love seeing the tall my mom’s hands and started looking Finally, I heard a voice, Mommy? I buildings, sidewalks full of people, around. My mom had called me so turned around and it was her! I was and the streets full of different cars; she can hold my hand while walk- so happy! I let go of the lady and just But let me tell you the day I got ing out of the store. I ran out of the ran to my mom. I just didn’t know lost in Manhattan! store. As I started looking around I what to do, all I knew was to hug her. One day; my mom took my little saw my mom. I ran towards them. “I’m so sorry mommy I should ‘ve sister and I to Manhattan in our grey “Mommy wait for me,” I said. held your hand the whole time.” Toyota minivan. I was so excited “Hey who are you little boy?” a “It’s okay just please don’t let go about the fact that I was about to go woman said, confused. of me again” she said, smiling. to Manhattan to shop, I was full of It was a woman with her daughter While we were in the car, we joy. My eyes were wide open, smiling who had the same color clothes as exchanged small talk and then my like a baby getting a new toy, and my mom and sister. mom started telling me to be careful jumping all over the place. I was more scared than ever. I when we aren’t in places we don’t Once we got to Manhattan my didn’t know what to do. It was like know that much. That was the day I mom had to park the car in a corner being lost in space except I couldn’t realized to be careful when I’m alone of a street, breathe, and I was surrounded by cause anything can happen especially “Jalen looked at the street name strangers. My first instinct was to get lost. and the area,” My mom said. start crying and just run. Oh my god, “Why mommy?” where are they? Why is this happening “Because I don't want you getting to me? If I run it would be easier for me lost in Manhattan,” my mom said. to find my mom and then we can just go “Okay.” home. I ran across the street not car- As we walked around, I could see ing if a car hit me until a lady stopped all the food vans selling drinks and me. hotdogs and all the business men and

112 113 wanted my mom forever and I knew Days passed and before I knew it Lissette so did my family, so we all convinced were getting ready one afternoon her. to take her to get her surgery. They “You have me and Thania to help took her away to get prepared for with the younger ones,” I said, trying the surgery and as I see them roll her Scary but to make her feel better about the away in the bed I cried and ran to Necessary situation. hug her. We left that night since we “You’re not alone. I’ll stay home weren’t going to be able to see her Lissette My mother was experiencing a lot with the kids while you’re at the right away, but they informed us that of chest pain during the month of hospital and when your husband has by tomorrow she would be able to February. I ended up going with her work so they’re not alone. And I’ll have visitors. to the emergency room in Jacobi on cook food make sure they eat,” my As I walked into her room the a Thursday. They did a lot of studies aunt said, trying to give a solution to next day, I noticed she wasn’t happy. on her that day, but they weren’t able her worries. “How are you feeling?” I asked to find anything. We were asked to “Everything will be okay at home. her. stay for the night for extra studies. The only thing you need to worry “I’m in a lot of pain right now That night, they found out that about is getting better,” my dad said, that’s all. Will you take me to the she was born with only two valves. It assuring her that it was okay to get bathroom?” she asked me. was a miracle. Everyone is born with the surgery. I didn’t answer. I just helped her three, while my mom was born with My sister and I made a compro- off her bed and grabbed her hand two. This wasn't letting her blood mise where we would each spend a and took her to the bathroom. I no- circulate and if they didn't fix this, an night or two at the hospital with her ticed her scar and as she washed her artery would burst. This meant she so she wouldn’t be alone. hands. She pulled up her gown. would need surgery and it was urgent We didn’t want her to get over- “Why are you pulling it up?” I before she got any symptoms, now whelmed and think we were forcing asked curious. that she hasn’t had any except the her to get the surgery, so we gave her “I don’t want to see it. It looks chest pain. some time to think about it. horrible.” she said disgusted. After one, of her appointments We went to another appointment My family and I let her know how they informed us about how her to make sure she was okay to go into much we love her and love her scar. recovery would go. We got home and surgery. They were translating to her It’s been a few months after her between us was nothing but silence all of the things that could happen surgery. She started to do little things until it was broken by… throughout the surgery. I couldn’t to help her do things to get back to “I'm not getting the surgery,” she help but get nervous and scared. I the way she was before. Yes, she is said calmly as if it was nothing big. felt this unexplainable feeling in my still insecure about her scar, but my “What? Why?” I said confused. stomach and then out of nowhere family and I understand it will take “The recovery would take too I felt myself crying on my mom’s time. She knows she has our support long. I won’t be able to take care of shoulder. The only thoughts that through every step of the way. you and siblings without having to came to my head was not wanting worry if you guys are eating or not.” to see her in pain or just lying down she said with sadness in her eyes. being able to go nowhere, but I had I didn't know exactly what to listen to what my dad said to her to say I stood there in silence as I and believe everything was going to thought about what she said. The be okay. only thought in my head was that I

114 115 Then coach pulled me to the side. After I tried scoring, I got foul and keychaun “I like how you played today. Now, I had to shoot two free throws. While we have another game coming up I was shooting the first one, I had against the school downstairs from butterflies in my stomach so when I us, so I really want to do a lot of the shot it. I made it. My school audi- My first pick and rolls you was pulling off,” he ence was screaming my name. I was basketball explained. so hype! so then I began shooting game I replied, “Okay, Coach. But we the next free throw and I didn’t have need the big men to work hard in the butterflies this time because I began When I was in 7th grade I had my paint. I don’t need to do everything blocking out what my teammates first basketball AAU game I was only on my own.” would say to me if I didn’t make a 13 years old 5’2 inches. I was the After practice was over, we had shot. keychaun shortest on the court against people a game three days later and I wasn’t As I was shooting the last free that were 6’4. It was my first game as nervous as I was during the AAU throw shot, the crowd was cheering of the season and as soon as I enter game I played in. During this game, I for me, so I really had to make the the away gym, I had butterflies in was starting point guard once again, shot because the crowd encouraged my stomach. I was the starting point but not only was I starting point me to make the shot. I made it all net guard (aka the captain of my team) guard, but I also had to pick my as the crowd pleased me to. Then the which meant I had to set the pace starting five. This was hard for me to crowd got even louder than it ever and tone of the game. The way I choose because my teammates were did before. After those free throw would play have impact the way all all good. It was a hard decision for shots, I ran back down and played my other teammates played. I quickly me to choose but I really wanted to great defense along with my team- made the first shot and I was a little win. I picked a decent starting five mates. There was a turnover involved happy but then the next couple of and we started off winning which my and I was on a fastbreak with my shots I was missing which made me coach was happy about, and then we duo partner and I wanted to be nice feel very wack. After I missed my last kind of fell off. and let him shine so I passed the ball shot coach called timeout. Coach called timeout and said, and let him score. Then coach sat me “Keychaun man you have to stop “Keychaun run the pick and roll with down the next dead ball I sat down playing nervous. I understand there the Bigman, and on defense run for the rest of the last quarter and are people on the court that’s taller three up top and the two bigs down my team won. than you but that don’t mean you bottom. We will watch the lead spark After those two games I have gotta fold,” Coach said. up.” learned to never be nervous and play “Alright coach. I am a little I explained, “I need the two bigs how I choose to play, and my team nervous” to lock up everything in the paint and manage to win the last game of the After the timeout was over, I let the guards work up top on de- season. got back in the game I took coach’s fense because it should be no reason advice. I made a couple of shots back why if we playing three on top and to back. I ended the game off with two down bottom the bigs is on the 12 points even though I could have top of the key” scored more. During the game as soon we The next day we had practice. started, I was happy that we had a lot Coach made me work under pressure of people from my school to cheer because he said that was my weak- for me. As I took the ball down the ness. So, we were playing a scrim- court, I was thinking to myself, They mage and I was not stopped by any can’t guard me. I am going to blow right of my teammates. past them and score.

116 117 Suddenly I heard a knock on the I explained that the other man Ezekiel door. I was so anxious, but I had to was an old lanky man with a scary protect my house. I slowly went up- face like a monster I have not seen stairs to hide from the strange men ever in my entire life. For a mo- who might come inside if they were ment something popped up to The Two able to break the door and enter. I mind. Should I alert the cops that they Strange Men knew they were probably men who had a white track with them? Then I wanted money. informed one of the cops about an On the 24th of March, a very sunny Then I heard a loud voice. “Open old car which was white with broken Ezekiel afternoon my parents were ready to the door before we break it down.’’ head lamps. By the way, they left with go out, but I was not ready to go so I But I refused and took my phone the descriptions and a week later the was left alone. A lonely afternoon in to call the cops. I called the cops two strange men were caught and the house all alone but I was kind of to inform them how the robbers sent to prison. happy to be myself. I decided to do a wanted to enter my home. In my On account of this, two day time I little party for myself, so I ordered for mind I was excited to make the rob- was asked to come to national televi- some pizza. bers leave my house without steal. sion to give my story on how I handle As I was watching television a As they heard the alarm from the the thieves without the presence heard a dog barking in the backyard, I police car, they ran off. I was able of my parents. I was described as a decided to look through the window to describe them to the cops. One brave boy and got rewarded for my thinking it was the delivery guy. But of the men had long hair and dirty deeds. My parents were proud of me to my unexpected glimpse I saw clothes on and was fat with long and it was the beginning of my story. two strange men dressed in spooky moustache. They left with the little clothes. So I went back and turn off information I was able to remember. the television. I locked the doors and The cops convincedly said they will started planning how to compromise carry out their investigation and with them. I thought for a moment catch them. There was a lot of ten- how to scare them. I decided to be sion on me so I could not remember brave and think of something fast. I more information. was frightened more than ever. When my parents got home, I nar- rated the whole story to them, and I learnt to always prepare on time. The next day the cops were back to my home for more information on the robbers.

118 119 ing and going so I had to go to the this nightmare to finally be over. All angeleen hospital AGAIN and unfortunately the waiting process led to this. The had to spend New Year’s in a hospital doctors prepared me for what was bed but the doctors diagnosed me going to happen in the procedure. with a appendicitis, But they couldn’t As I lay down on that icy cold bed, Holding on remove it due to some other medical the bright light, beaming in my face, I That Strength issues that were going on. could feel the laughing gas mask put- In January that’s when everything ting me to sleep. and of course, I was angeleen It was like a sharp pain hit the bot- started to go downhill. I was in three laughing hysterically as I felt myself tom right of my stomach. I couldn’t different hospitals doing tests like drifting into a three-hour sleep and move, couldn’t do anything. I didn’t MRI scans, drainages, and pelvic CT all my worries would finally be over. know what to do. All I knew was scans. I wasn’t able to go to school I remember telling myself, You can do that my stomach was turning inside under those circumstances and that this, You’ll be fine. out. I thought, What’s wrong with me? worried me because I wanted to pass Three hours later I woke up, dizzy. What’s happening? Worst part is that the 6th grade. The doctors told me the surgery was it’s happening during Christmas. I After the doctors did the tests and a success. They wheeled me down- went home and went to bed. Sleep? they sent me home until they found stairs once I was ready to go home. What’s that? I kept waking up every the results. They sent me home with They had patched me up with band- 20 minutes before I actually feel an IV drip and I had to give myself ages. I got the medicine I needed and asleep around 3 am. medication so that I wouldn’t have went home with a sense of relief that My mom made me breakfast but to stay in the hospital anymore. It this was OVER. The scars that I have I couldn’t eat it without having the was difficult having that needle in prove that anything is possible with urge to throw up. my arm 24/7, but luckily, I was able time and healing if your positive and ”What’s wrong?” my mom asked. to go back to school, but I had to be just work on yourself. I replied with, “My stomach has careful with carrying things with my been hurting since last night.” left arm. At times, I would think, I just She gave me a worried and want to rip this stupid needle out of my decided that we go to the emergency arm already. room. Finally, after two weeks, the doc- The waiting process didn’t take tors removed the IV drip from my long considering it was Christmas so arm. During those two weeks I went there weren’t many people. After the through this process of trying to doctor asked me the usual questions heal from everything. I was drinking and gave me medicine the doctors healthy juices to get my blood flow came to the fact that it might just working properly it tasted like. One be a stomach virus, so they gave me of my mom’s relatives did a praying antibiotics and sent me home ritual for me by “talking to god.” A The stomach pains were com- bunch of my family members came for support but I had to stand the en- tire time which made me pass out. I was so relived those two weeks were over of weirdness.

It was FINALLY time for surgery It was March 20 of 2017. I walked in the operating room scared but ready for

120 121 anything or if I need something else it out she was probably going to close Dominican Republic money so after me my coffee I say thanks and go set waited for 2 hours after that I just see Jason looks like I got everything I need for it anyway. I start getting mad because we done with that we head out and up my ps4 so I could hope on some 2k my grandma’s face she went to inves- now. We get in the car I was so packed, this process takes so long so we wait we meet up with one of the workers I set everything up the only problem tigate her face was so serious it looked and I hate being squished on to each for like 30 minutes and finally just that worked there he was an officer was that my tv was on the wall so that like she was going on a mission. I am other feeling the skin of the person finally the planes moves, and I heard” call Miguel it seemed like he knew my meant I had to go back a little because not going to lie if we got on the ride Dominican next to me especially when there flight blah blah blah it’s starting to take family and then later one I ask my aunt it was going to hurt my neck but there I didn’t want to get on cause I didn’t sweaty and we go on our way to the off please but ur seat belts on” the. The who that she say “that’s your uncle “ was no problem with it I just liked want nothing happening to the plane Republic airport the one and only JetBlue. As flight attendants start going around to oh I say to myself damn I haven’t been playing close up. I didn’t have to worry god forbid but my grandma wanted to we in the car my mom gives me some check it to see if it was right enough it here In a while I forgot my own uncle we about playing for a short time cause my leave to because she had to take care It was the first day of my vacation with bread so I can go exchange it in the we then flight took off. As soon as the step outside and goddamn it was hella grandma basically owned the property, of business back home and remind u me and my family were all getting airport in Dr I tell her imma miss u ma flight takes off, I hear a scream I look hot remind u it was night time I did not so I called play ‘til my hands fall off. today was the first day of school. After packed up because we all knew that thxs I love u as we almost arrive, I’m just back it was my cousin screaming I ain’t understand why it was so hot at night Later on that day I start feeling hungry we walk around it’s been like another the next day was going to be a busy day chillin playing my music. We get to the blame her because we haven’t been on but it was so hot I thought I couldn’t so I go to a place called the Sirena 2hrs we been doing this I didn’t wanna which was the same day we were leav- airport I was ready for my vacation my a plane in a while. the plane is finally in breathe. So we get to his car that was which was a supermarket I go there I complain cause my grandma already ing. I packed up all my summer clothes mom sheds tears and screams imma the air we get to moving I’m just chill- parked right outside his job we pack up was so surprised right the prices I little had enough on her plate and I didn’t and summer shoes and a separate bag miss u as I say it back and head on. ing on my phone when I see no service everything in the car I stay with my ps4 bag of kisses was like 100 which in DR want to piss her off even more, so I just for my PS4. My suitcase was already After we say all our greetings we have on my phone I’m like oooo at that cause I didn’t want nothing to happen was nothing but I was straight cause I put up with it. So, my grandma tries to heavy enough now I got a heavy ps4 to wait on a huge line like that line point I felt like crying but then I see a to it and here we go again it was so had like 5000 on me at the moment so see what’s going on, so she just thinks with cords in it and nobody would hold was very huge I did not want to stay paper in front of the seat with some- hot and we was smushed in the car I I go and shop once we get home I’m lit something happened. So after a while it for me. After I'm done with every- on my feet waiting for that long cause thing that had to do with Wi-Fi I open didn’t want to get mad cause I knew I got me a box pizza the kisses and ice we keep walking but then she steps thing I go to sleep because I already my feet was going to hurt so I drop my it and lucky it gave me the Wi-Fi but everyone was feeling the same way so I cream first thing I ate was the pizza I up to a counter and ask was going on had to wake up in the morning to get suitcase down and start sitting down. guess what u actually had to pay in my roll the window down and I smell that got while it’s getting ready I try to fin- until this man came from behind us a haircut cause u already know that I After a while they finally call us up after head I was like wtf is this u deadass but I Dominican smell it smelled so great I ish my game then I hear my grandma and said that our flight was canceled have to look crispy. three years I’m just saying finally. After keep calm a few minute later pass they was happy to be there. So we get to the say it’s ready so get up get my food I could just see my grandma’s face First things first it's the morning I'm a while now it’s been at least an hour start passing food I got me some chips home the home looked beautiful I tell cause I was type hungry so I go to the turning red of the anger I felt bad and grumpy because I like being woken up, this airport process is very long, and I ahoy with a juice box after I buss that my grandma good job because she was porch and enjoy my food. Meanwhile upset and she felt scammed because but I go to the bathroom to wash my hate it so much cause my feet hurt but down I just wait for the plane to arrive I the one that made this with the people I go to my room and I see my uncle she already spent tons of money so face and brush my teeth and head to I just put up with it and stop acting like was so bored so I gts u till we get there. she paid money to make it and it look Ronny there fixing an ac the we had in they was basically just taking money the barber because I wanted to be the a girl. After we got checked and got And finally they time I been waiting for very good so once I get there I went to the closet this whole time, so he was from her without her realizing so they first one there. Once I get there I dap scanned, we only need one more thing we finally get there while they plane my room put my stuff down and relax fixing it I’m just praying that he makes pretty much took advantage of her. Its up the barber I just tell him lemme get now and it’s to wait calmly till they call was going down I did not know what it was already late she we just chill and it work cause it way to hot. Finally, the 5.00AM we been walking for hours she the usual cause me thinking he would our flight. After waiting so long wait- happened to my ears it felt like my ears wait for the food to come the one my ac turns on the cold air blast me when calls our uncle I just mind my business. know what I meant but I’m guessing ing my stomach starts rumbling, I was just popped my grandma said “ don’t grandpa got for us he come back with it first hit it felt so good(pause) I just After she calls my uncle to come pick his brain wasn't fully functioning so he starving so I go to the chip aisle and got worry it normal” so I just calmed down. some chicken plantains all of that we said to myself oh yea I am going to us up how the flight was canceled and gives me the worst haircut ever he gave me some Doritos and an ice-cold Pepsi. After the flight land everyone thanks ate it was so good but I was tired all I sleep good tonight. A few weeks later had to wait for two weeks so we all me the baldy I told him yo what is this I go back to my seat and charge my god they flight went well so the first wanted to do was hit the bed and got go by of me just chillin when I should drive home in tears just waiting to go I aint ask for this he said’’ oh my bad I phone cause I ain’t want my phone to thing I grabbed was my ps4 make sure to sleep but first I take a shower in that be outside but as long as I wasn’t back to the house to go to sleep. Once got confused sorry’’ I was so tight but be dead on the plane. Finally they call nothing happens to it and hop off that hot shower and brush my teeth and bothering no one I was fine. It was of- we get there, we had to unpack every- at the same time it was just water I just us up for our flight I ain’t going to lie airplane. Now we need to get our suit- go to sleep and I’m not going to lie it ficially time to go school has started To thing but that was after I took a nap. thought to myself it is going to be hot I was nervous cause I haven’t been on cases from that machine we get there was hot and I didn’t have an ac or fan be honest I was ready to go I miss the When I woke up, I realized and said to in Dominican republic so he probably a plane since I was a lil kid and I barely and we get everyone’s suitcase but for yet so it took me a while to go to sleep Bronx I miss the bacon egg and cheese myself that we couldn’t even go no- just gave me a favor so I just dap him remember how it was like and me I be some reason mine was not coming but in a while that’s what I do. The my chopped cheese and my fellow bx where for fun because we didn’t have up and get going. I'm on my home with watching video videos off plane crash- So my grandpa talks to someone next day after that rough day I take a energy and most importantly my mom. money we only had for some food and the walk of shame with my hoodie on ing and all that and I totally ain’t want in the airport and after a while after shower in that hot shower and brush So we pack up and get in the car and water. 2 weeks past I was scheduled to ain't wanting no one to see me like this that to happen. We finally make it to investigating it seems that my suitcase my teeth and think about life I go out go to the airport but of course that leave today but thank god this time we I was already sweating bullets, but it our plane I find my seat I was hoping was left one the plane so we had to sauce and see my grandma awake I give day at had to rain with thunder storms didn’t unpack everything the first time was worth not getting caught with the they didn’t put me with no ransoms wait again and finally here come my her my blessing and then she gives me so I was just confused on how we was our flight was delayed. So, once we in clean bean. Once I get home I take a next to me but let’s just say I called it I gigantic suitcase case and head our way my breakfast she made me a salami going to do this once we arrive there the plane I just relax and say to myself shower get all the leftover hair I hope had they middle seat I was next to my we go through the long process again sandwich I never tasted one so I take a we wait I put my suitcase down and sit finally I’m going home I can finally start my in the shower rinse up hop out had to cousin and some elderly woman she and we stopped at a machine now bite and that shit tasted so good I had on it how everyone was sitting on the 7th grade year and most especially see my be quick I had to hurry because our had the window seat to which isn’t fair this machine changes money like I had to ask for another but I couldn’t cause seat I wait and chill on my phone but it mom. flight leaves soon I aint want to be late cause I knew she wasn’t going to look money from USA and it changed it to other people had to eat so she gives was odd we actually stayed there and I look around the house to see if I left

122 123 We went inside and Justin “I am outside.” said Krystal. Danielle checked out our tickets. We waited We rushed outside and put our about 15 minutes then we went stuff in the trunk and we left. I was so downstairs to where all the buses exhausted. Finally we were in her car were. We got downstairs and found and we were driving to Indiana which Trip to out what bus we were supposed to was also 2 hours away. I fell asleep Indiana be on. The bus driver checked our while we were in the car because I Danielle tickets and we got on the bus. Some was so hungry and sleepy. I haven't seen my brother in three other lady put our bags on the bus. Suddenly I woke up and we were years and my siblings, and I miss all About 5 minutes later, the bus finally 5 minutes away. Immediately I sat the good times we had. He moved took off. I was so thrilled that I got to up so fast and smiled. All I thought to Indiana to find a good job with see my brother after three years. about was his reaction. Would he be his kids. His name is Patrick. We all The bus ride was 18 hours long, surprised? How does he look now? planned a trip to finally see him and I so I put in my headphones then fell We finally got there, and we couldn't wait. asleep. It was so uncomfortable to started taking our bags and went I was impatient. We started at sleep because the seats were hard as inside. We got inside and I saw him! I 5:00 in the morning. We were eager a rock. It felt very uncomfortable, but was so delighted, I ran and gave him and everything. Can’t wait! Can’t wait! I still fell asleep. a hug and didn’t let go for a while. In Can’t wait! I thought. We arrived in Cincinnati and we addition, we ate, talked and had a lot We brushed our teeth and took a were about to take the other bus to of fun. shower. After we were all done, we Indiana. Then the bus driver asked checked to see if we packed every- for our tickets. We showed her our thing then we called an Uber. We tickets then she asked for our IDs. waited about 5 minutes for the Uber We all froze because we didn’t know to come. we needed an ID, so we called my “The Uber is here!” yelled my older brother and told him we can’t brother. get on the bus without our IDs. I couldn’t wait . “The driver said we can’t get on My brother’s name is Justin and the bus without our IDs.” I said. my little sister’s name is Bretney. “Alright, I’m going to call Krystal We went downstairs and put our so she can come pick you guys up stuff in the trunk and got in the car. alright, just go inside,” my brother It took us 26 minutes to get there. said. Finally, we arrived at the bus terminal He called Krystal to pick us up and and took our bags out. she did. However, it took 2 hours be- “Thank you.” I said. cause she had work. Later, she texted that she was outside

124 125 After a while, I started to change. and extremely upset. I couldn't Brian At first, it was only minor changes believe that I would need to do the but as time went on everything second grade all over again. All my progressed excessively. My attitude friends would leave me behind. I became awful. I was starting to come didn't want to be in a class with kids Brian Untitled out very disrespectfully towards oth- younger than me. I couldn't change ers, including staff from my school the past though. After finally un- When I was younger, mainly during and other students. For this reason, I derstanding why I needed to repeat my elementary years, I performed would receive detention. That didn’t the grade, I realized I had to change really well in school. I even ended up stop me though. I only continued my ways and straighten myself out. on the honor roll. I would start off to grow worse. I would push the I promised myself that I wouldn't the year with a few goals, a positive buttons of anyone I felt like and make those mistakes again and I attitude, great energy, and would would push limits as far as I could. would try my best from then on. focus on 2 things all year. Summer I was constantly getting in trouble The next school year I went back and of course, 5th-grade graduation. and penalized. And still, none of this to being the student that teach- School was never my favorite, but I stopped me. It was only a short mat- ers and kids liked and appreciated. knew that I needed to get through it. ter of time before I would become a I completed all of my work and Anyway, I started second grade the bully to the other kids in my school. improved my behavior. After I had same as all of my 3 years of school I would tease and pick on anyone I finally made it past the second grade. before. I planned on getting the year chose just because I felt like it. My 3 years later I proudly walked out done and over with. However, my school would eventually get tired of of that school with a diploma in my plans didn’t go how I wanted them my behavioral issues and suspend hand. to go. me for some time. And even that I don’t know why or what caused As summer came to an end, I didn't stop me. I would just come me to act the way I did but regard- prepared myself for the next 10 back and do it all over again. On less I continued to work hard and try dreadful months of school. I did some days I would spend my time in my best in middle school. It wasn’t not want the summer to end at all! the Principal's office. I had to be kept easy and I did screw up some more, I wished school would just fade out away from the other kids because but I got through it just how I did of existence. But still, on September they saw me as a disturbance. It soon before. These types of things only 6th, 2011, I started my first day of got to the point when I was labeled make me wiser and more confident 2nd grade. I remember it being good as ”the worst kid in the school”. At in myself when it comes to school as in the beginning. My birthday was the time I didn't really care much. I they should. Every screw up I make I coming up only a couple of weeks stopped doing my schoolwork and take as a lesson now and grow from after. I was back at school with my started getting low scores on almost it. I've made it to high school and the friends. I was enjoying recess and all everything. Soon though, it would all only 2 things that still remain on my the school lunch that I missed over catch up to me. mind are summer and 12th-grade the summer. It wasn’t so bad. It was As the school year was closing in, graduation. I definitely don’t plan on only a few months before that would my mother would break the news repeating another grade. I know I'll all go south. to me that I would have to repeat make it. the grade. When I heard this for the first time, I was shocked, in disbelief, embarrassed, disappointed in myself,

126 127 She was very angry and then she I woke up the next morning. I Shymel had said, ’Where were you, young had pulled out my clothes for the man?” next day and I was in the shower I had just looked because I was and I was preparing for the next day. very scared to say something to my I went in the living room and ate untitled mom. Then I was like “I went after my breakfast and then I went to my practice to eat out with my friends.”. mom. She was in her room preparing It was a rainy Wednesday and I had a She was like, “Why you didn’t let for work. big disagreement with my mom, and me know where you were at?” I said, “I’m sorry, Mom, for last Shymel this is crazy. Usually I just go through Then I said, “I should not always night. I know what I had done wrong my day a normal Wednesday. I would have to let you know where I’m at all and it will not happen again. And I go to class and everything and I went the time”. know I need to be more responsible to Accelerated Academy. Then she was very angry staring for my actions because you did not I was going to leave the building at me like she was going to explode know where I was at.” and go to football practice. Then I into a burst of rage at me. Then I got My mom said, “It is okay. You was finishing up football practice and very angry and I stormed off on her. just need to let me know where you after went out with my friends. I had I shut the room door and sat on are at.” forgotten about my phone being off, my bed. I was very angry at my mom. Next, I went to school and I had but I had pulled it out then I turned I took off my stuff I went to the a good rest of the day. on my phone and I see I had a bunch bathroom, took a shower. I was very of missed calls from my mom. relaxed after the shower because I I was finishing up with my didn't have to hear my mom scream- friends and looked at my phone and ing at me about coming in the house it was about 8: 30pm and I picked up at 9 00 and saying that you should my phone and my mom was scream- not be outside doing all this non- ing on the phone. sense and saying how important it is I was on the bus going home to let your parents know where you then I had gotten home and my are at all times because you don't mom was sitting on the couch with know what will happen to you. I went this look on her face. to sleep thinking about what I did last night. I saw what I did wrong.

128 129 My teacher yelled, “Keep I remember asking, “When will I ashley moving!’’ see my brother again?” caleb I just stopped in my tracks. I She told me, “When he gets bet- couldn't believe it. Nobody cared ter, sweetie” about my brother. I just saw my gran- I remember crying endlessly think- The worst day dad and my mother rushing in. My ing something bad. Then i got to see of my life mother called the ambulance. I was brother after a couple days. I got to terrified they had to rush my brother see him and when I saw him, he had caleb Once upon a time, I woke up and to the hospital. so many tubes in him he couldn’t saw the world in a whole different They checked him and found out breathe. He was at risk; he only had then the way that people imagined that my brother had a heart condi- a year to live and he made it. He the world to be, but this day was tion. I didn’t really understand what fought through it and he made it and different. My whole life changed the doctors were saying because returned home after a couple of days. -- nothing was ever going to be the I was so young. I felt trapped, not He had to be treated at home and my same ever again. Things have really knowing what really going on and parents took care of him, but I didn’t changed just by the simple thing that not figuring out what they were tell- even think that something so bad I did on an everyday basis, but this ing my mom and grandpa. Every- could happen, but I was glad that he day was different. My whole life I thing happened so quick. Everything was okay. was a little girl you could never know flashed before my eyes -- a whole the feeling that I have felt unless you life where I thought I didn’t have my went through it. It was a very long brother. All I really remember was day after school and I went to do people telling me that everything was martial arts after school. going to be okay and that he was just Me and my brother had a test to fine. But he wasn’t. He could’ve died get our red belts. We were doing the if he wasn’t rushed to the hospital. test and the worst thing happened. My brother had to stay there for a My brother collapsed. I’ve never felt couple of weeks. It’s a day I will never so much fear in my life. My teacher forget. This all happened December had the nerve to tell everyone to 12 of 2012. The amount of things keep going even though my brother that happened just at once, so many was on the ground. days and restless night I had to stay at my aunt's house.

130 131 about the visiting author Paul Griffin is the critically acclaimed author of many novels, including Ten Mile River, The Orange Houses, Stay with Me, Burning Blue, Adrift, Skyjacked, as well as the middle grade novels When Friendship Followed Me Home and Saving Marty. Paul lives in Manhattan with his family. He can be found online at paulgriffinstories.com. about Behind the Book Behind the Book brings authors and their books into classrooms to build literacy skills and create a community of lifelong readers and writers. Working with classes from Pre-K through 12th grade, our series of workshops is designed to bring books to life and inspire students to reach their full potential. Behind the Book is embedded in the class curriculum, nutures critical thinking, creativity, and self-confidence in New York City public school students. All programs meet the Common Core Learning Standards.

COMMON COrE LEarNING STaNDarDS Writing W.9-10.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well- chosen details and well-structured event sequences. W.9-10.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on addressing what is most significant for a specific purpose and audience. Reading RL.9-10.2 Determine a theme or central idea of a text and analyze in detail its development over the course of the text, including how it emerges and is shaped and refined by specific details; provide an objective summary of the text. RL.9-10.3 Analyze how complex characters (e.g. those with multiple or conflicting motivations) develop over the course of a text, interact with other characters, and advance the plot or develop the theme. RL.9-10.5 Analyze how an author’s choices concerning how to structure a text, order events within it (eg., pacing, flashbacks) create such effects as mystery, tension, or surprise. Speaking and Listening SL.9-10.1 Initiate and participate effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grades 9-10 topics, texts, and issues, building on others’ ideas and expressing their own clearly and persuasively.

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