PRESSURE PEOPLE MEET THE PRESSURE TEAM

JANEY SCHAFER When Pressure Life needs a connoisseur in the art of culinary concoctions, Janey Schafer takes the cake. Actually she bakes it, and anything else you could dream of. A native, Schafer was born into a big family—a guarantee that someone around was always hungry—and found herself a natural in the kitchen. This past January, Schafer’s spicy noodle soup was chosen from 12 finalists PRESSURE LIFE as the winner of Zoup Soups' 2015 National Recipe Contest, and will soon be available at over 80 locations.

Creative Director, Owner Jim Bacha An ironic and dizzying list of food allergies hasn’t stopped Schafer Chief Operating Officer, Owner John Gardner from taking the foodie world by storm, and regularly shares her passion for creative cuisine through her mouth-watering food blog Editors in Chief Amy Kaufman and Instagram account, @FoodsOfJane. (With over 14k followers, Amy Sokolowski she’s kind of a big deal.) Art Director Hannah Allozi

Illustrator Aaron Gelston

Contributors Adam Dodd Amanda Ashley Brittany Dobish Dan Bernardi MATT MCLAUGHLIN Darrick Rutledge While Matt McLaughlin has a Gennifer Harding-Gosnell penchant for reviewing restaurants Holly Kabat based on their ability to survive Ivana Batkovic in hypothetical, highly unlikely Janey Schafer Kate Guess scenarios, he's somewhat of a Katie Bacha jack-of-all-trades outside of the Kevin Naughton office. He's an ace bartender with a Matt McLaughlin Sam Goldberg heart of gold and a killer Negroni. Will Kmetz In his off hours, he enjoys acting in short films, particularly those in which he dies, and occasionally moonlights as a stand-up comic, Distribution PMK Logistics where he’s working to fine-tune an epic, six minute poop joke. On exceptionally odd days, you may even witness him pushing a giant empty cable spool down the road, as he also likes to dabble in the art of construction work.

If you're lucky enough to encounter McLaughlin around town, he'll likely grant you a delightful conversation, as long as you're not Enjoying Pressure Life? distracted by his legendary mustache. We would love to hear your thoughts. pressurelife.com/feedback

2 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 3 CONTENTSSEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2015 06 Behind the Beard Tame the wilderness, keep the bush 14 10 08 The Great Escape A room full of clues, 3 hints, and your brain — can you escape in 60? 10 Art by Fred Covering hip-hop labels across the country 14 Bomba vs. el Chupacabra Death and tacos 16 The Bark Heard 'Round the World 8 21 16 The : not just for Clevelanders anymore 21 A Tiny House Experiment It's not the size of the house, it's the strength of the movement 23 Exposing the Truth for a Broader Spectrum A look at the people who knock on your door 26 Close Encounters of a Certain Kind 23 UFO sightings: 29 Celestial pathway or Alien hot-spot? 29 Hallow CLE Join us for a Cleveland costume party! 30 Franklin Castle What's going on at city's most famous haunted landmark?

26 PRESSURE PICKS Behind the UPCOMING SHOWS TO SEE

FALL OF TROY September 21st // Agora ARCHIE & THE BUNKERS Do you consider yourself a lumbersexual, or just a man with a September 25th // Beachland Ballroom 01. beard? I am a man with a beard. I am often mistaken for a lumber BEARD sexual, because I hunt, fish, love the outdoors and build things from wood. SLASH FEATURING MYLES KENNEDY Amanda Ashley What is the first mistake a man makes when growing a beard? and the CONSPIRATORS 02. This biggest mistake they make is thinking that they don’t need September 26th // Hard Rock Rocksino hio-native Matt Beaton is not your average man with a beard. product for their beards. Beard hair is like any other kind of hair except it’s As a late bloomer, he was 19-years-old when he first shaved, more brittle. It needs to be conditioned and maintained—that will keep INSANE CLOWN POSSE and 24 by the time he achieved a fully-connecting beard. it healthy and keeping it growing. October 4th // Agora O Today, he’s fulfilled his lifelong dream of having a natural long beard, and as a new business owner who’s also juggling a What are the hardest things to eat or drink with a beard? The full-time job, his life can get pretty hairy. 03. two hardest foods to eat are sandwiches and ice cream cones. The MARGARET CHO sandwiches have to be torn in to smaller pieces so you don't get a mouth October 4th // Hard Rock Rocksino While on a quest to find the perfect product to help tame his own full of mustache hair, and ice cream has to be eaten with a spoon. If not, beard, Beaton was inspired to take matters into his own hands, it’s a giant mess. A good draft beer with foam is one of the hardest things BRET MICHAELS and after several trials and mad scientist-style experiments, he to drink—you end up with a foamy mustache. October 9th // Hard Rock Rocksino and a friend launched their own beard oil company in early 2014. Waffen Der Whiskerr, or “weapons of the whiskers” in German, Do you have a name for your beard? I have not named it, but I is a natural oil blended with apricot kernel, coconut, jojoba, and 04. do refer to it as my chinsulation. GRACE POTTER hemp seed oil, and design to strengthen, moisturize, and keep October 7th // House of Blues facial hair smelling fresh. What's the best part of having a beard? It hides my baby face! It 05. keeps my face warm in the winter, and cooler in the summer, but STARS Taking over sole ownership of the business in late 2014, Beaton the absolute best part of having one is getting to go to beard competitions has managed to maintain steady growth, while expanding their to raise money for charities. October 10th // Beachland Ballroom line to include seven unique products, including the rum, coconut and mango-blended Tiki Beard, Urban Lumberjack, which offers What's the biggest misconception about men with beards? There WISH YOU WERE HERE are so many, but I would have to say the biggest misconception is a subtle scent of vanilla and oak, and even an unscented blend for 06. October 10th // House of Blues those who like to keep it au naturel. that most bearded men are either felons or in a biker gang.

We sat down with Beaton to talk shop at the fourth annual Great In addition to Whiskerr Oil, what other weapons do whisker UNEARTH Lakes Regional Beard and Mustache Championships, benefiting 07. keepers need in their beard survival kit? Good brushes, picks, October 16th // Agora the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, co-sponsored by Great and scissors to clip dead ends. Also, a good shampoo with little to no Lakes Brewing Company and Waffen Der Whiskerr Oil. sulfate and chemicals in it—high sulfate and chemical shampoos strip WELSHLY ARMS the natural oils from your face and hair. October 16th // Beachland Ballroom What advice do you have for men who want to grow a beard or For more about Waffen Der Whiskerr Oil, 08. stache? Stay away from open flames and moving machinery. Take THE WONDER YEARS & MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK or to purchase products, visit your daily vitamins, and try to keep a decent diet—a healthy body produces October 22nd // Agora healthy hair. Also, keep the beard well conditioned and groomed. whiskerroil.com DANZIG October 23rd // Agora

6 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 7 Pressure Profile: FOREST MANAGEMENT

The Great Sam Goldberg Imagine the last time you held your breath under water for as long as you could. If you can recall that zen-like feeling of comforting disconnectedness, you can begin to imagine the feeling of listening to the music of John Daniel. Working primarily with electronic instruments, John Daniel produces deeply emotive, ambient music—a music that lends itself to relaxation and meditation. However, Daniel ESCAPE has hopes that his music, which he performs under the moniker Forest Management, might provide a bit more than just that, the way ambient Dan Bernardi music provided more for him. “Ambient records became the soundtrack of my life. I have had struggles with depression and loneliness, and the ambient music that I owned at the time became really valuable to s a Clevelander, there’s a good chance that you’ve already run the on handcuffs, and got locked in the slammer. me,” he explained, while discussing the origins of Forest Management. gamut of hometown activities. You've likely watched our sports “Ambient music came along side me, and it was like I was hearing teams duke it out in their respective arenas, rocked out at a mul- When the cell door slammed shut, the heat was on. Our minds were sounds that I felt but couldn’t convey into words.” A titude of concert venues, stopped by some board game bars, and racing. Surrounded by clues and unsure of where to begin, we started maybe slipped into the casino for some risky business. These things putting the pieces together. Now I won't ruin the fun by dishing out Daniel began the project in 2011 while working on Music for Stargazing, never really get old, but if you’re spoilers, but I will say that for as an 8-piece environmental ambient composition created for the Lake looking for something to shake long as we were in that room, it was Erie Nature & Science Center. Working within the realm of music that things up, Cleveland’s newest a total rush. Using nothing but your wits, your allies, provided him solace during personal struggles, he’s since gone on attraction, Escape in 60, is a total to release a handful of small run cassettes on both international and game changer. and the contents of the room, for the next Each group can have up to three domestic labels, as well as his first full-length LP, Encounter, released hints, so if you're totally stumped 60 minutes earlier this year. Starting in Japan and spreading you have one goal: escape. you can get some help. “There are quickly throughout Asia, the room two types of people—those who He’s put out two cassettes in the past two months, and with additional escape business has become an extremely lucrative one, with new ask for help, and those who don't,” Ibrahim told us. “To date, we've recordings slated for release before the winter, Daniel plans to be on the challenges popping up all over the US since 2012. When the crew at had only one group escape without any hints.” Around 30 minutes road more often in the coming year. New tools will eventually be added Pressure Life heard that a new escape spot opened on West 6th, we in, it seemed like our only hope of getting through the two locked jail to his home studio, but he prefers to let his workflow grow naturally. quickly made our reservation. Designed by Mo Abdallah and Ali doors was banging them down for more hints. “It’s slowly become more of a processing project in the last year or so,” Ibrahim, Escape in 60 consists of three interactive puzzle scenarios, Daniel said. “ I like to explore the different possibilities with just a few each with a slightly different objective. Using nothing but your wits, With only three rooms, it may seem like there isn’t much re-play value, minutes of audio,” which may come as a surprise to those who have your allies, and the contents of the room, for the next 60 minutes you however the individual challenges aren't as static as they appear. “What listened to his traditionally long-form pieces. Similarly to the way he have one goal: escape. you do now is likely going to be different in a week or two,” explained might begin a piece of work with a small seed of audio, he shared that Abdallah. “We want it to be difficult, but we're always tweaking things he “can be inspired by a single moment, or an image that evokes a For Ibrahim and Abdallah, setting up shop in Cleveland was a no to find a balance.” Other rooms are in the planning phase as well, certain feeling.” brainer. “It's our hometown,” Ibrahim said. “We did the market research, including something special in the works for the Halloween season. and there's around 600,000 Clevelanders between the ages of 15-45 Despite his unorthodox approach, he’s become successful in creating with an interest in interactive games.” Since opening this past July, As the clock ticked down, we started to realize that the odds of us break- music that comforts in the same way that he found comfort in his they’ve seen over 1,000 customers come through their doors, including ing out in record time were not in our favor. According to Abdallah, first influences. “It’s the reason I make music in that style. It’s really birthday parties, family get-togethers, and even a couple of first dates. that’s a good thing. “You're not coming here to walk in and walk out. important for my own life, and if it can come alongside anyone else, What's the fun in that?” then to me, that’s incredible.” So when it was finally our turn, seven of us shuffled downtown, fully prepared to dominate these rooms. We could choose from three sce- And fun we had, though sadly, neither of our teams walked out narios: a jail cell, a bank heist, or the “fanatic”—an attic cluttered with winners. Even with the final components in hand, and all hints Cleveland sports memorabilia. Each room holds two to six people, so exhausted, we didn't escape in 60. Weeks later, we're still kicking we split up into teams; three slipped into the bank to snag some loot, ourselves, but we’re also anxiously awaiting our return for a Shaw- and the remaining four hopped into bright orange jumpsuits, slapped shank-style redemption.

8 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 9 ART BY FRED A One Man Art Team

Sarah Maxwell

ip-hop music is blaring at a deafening decibel, the clock is with no grandiose plan in mind other than being a kid and wanting in a black and white world.” One of the biggest challenges however, slowly crawling into the wee hours of the morning. Red Bull to find something to do with his buddies. “I just wanted to make weird is not his lack of formal classes or technique, but rather the ability cans are stacking up as a cigarette burns to the filter in a cartoons with my friends.” To date, Lozano has taught himself how to to maintain his own voice and not allowing himself to become a Hnearby ashtray and in the background a foreign film dances use Photoshop/ 3D, Illustrator, Flash CS6 and Cinema 4D. Time after “product.” Today there are lots of people who fancy themselves across the TV screen. Amidst the chaos sits Fred Lozano, 23-year- time, he was studying these various design tools out of enjoyment and designers because they learned a few tricks from YouTube, but old Cleveland native art director/ graphic designer, toiling away on searching for a creative outlet. Lozano does not want to be spitting out mindless work that does not his latest artistic vision. To most, this computer screen illuminated carry his true point of view. He notes that the best thing he could tell room would be stressful disarray, but for Lozano it is an integral After barely graduating from Berea High School due to “not being an aspiring designer, especially one who does have to rely on their part of his creative process. the greatest at attending it,” Lozano paid the bills by bartending. Yet, own ambitions to master their technique, is to do something new, he realized he did not want to work in “go against the wave. I’d rather create a Lozano may not be a household name, but when his work has the service industry forever. “I basically wave than ride one out.” been recognized by Drake, various Cleveland Cavaliers players boxed myself into a corner and needed Go against the wave. I’d rather and GOOD Music (Kanye West’s label) while maintaining a to come up with a creative way to create a wave than ride one out. When Lozano is not working on a com- client list that includes The Weekend, DJ E-V, Luol Deng, survive.” The timing couldn’t be more missioned piece he is teaching himself ANTHM, Blu, Tevon Rease, Sony RCA Records and perfect when Tevon Rease, local rapper new skills to further his designs, or jet Souljaboy, it is easy to understand why it should be. and friend, approached him to help him with a mixtape cover. Lozano setting to Miami to work with various hip-hop artists. He sparks his While Lozano’s clientele list includes so many admits that when the final product was posted he thought it was ter- passion and maintains his commitment by keeping himself hungry. recognizable names one would think that rible. However, much to his surprise, suddenly other hip-hop artists Failure is not an option for Lozano. In fact, it is his greatest inspira- he had been formally training for years. began reaching out in hopes that he would create their respective tion. Lozano’s end goal has never been simply ‘Art by Fred.' He has However, quite the contrary, Lozano album covers. That single mixtape cover became the stepping stone always held a much larger determination: film. “If I don’t do film, I’ll never studied graphic design or for that led Lozano down the path to his future career. Even though be pissed. Film is the motivation. I tell myself ‘keep learning so you that matter even attended high Lozano was confident he had discovered his path he did not give up can make films and create what you want.’” Lozano is still learning school art courses. He is 100% on his day job right away, but when he finally did, “it was the most every day, so all he can do is continue to, “be original and succeed- self-taught. terrifying and best thing ever.” don’t accept failure.” When can you expect to see a feature film by this Cleveland wunderkind? According to Lozano “Deadlines are bad In middle school, In the past two years ago, Lozano’s notoriety has rapidly increased. for creativity. If it happens it happens, if it doesn’t try again.” That Lozano learned His hobby has since turned into television and print features on is the type of attitude that has kept Lozano’s clientele list growing, how to use Complex, ESPN, VH1, The Plain Dealer and more. Needless to say, his work flourishing and will maintain his eminent hold on the art Flash CS6 with his one man run shop and 50+ clients, the days seem more like world. The surface of his vision has only been scratched. His vision for fun 72 hours rather than 24, but Lozano is determined to, “be the green and what comes next will only be even more captivating.

Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 11 Directions:

Bring 2-1/2 cups of water to a boil. In the meantime, 01. whisk the eggs in a small bowl and set aside. Prepare two small bowls or ramekins for the ramen buns by spray- ing them with a non-stick cooking spray. (If you don't own ramekins, you can use small circular bowls; just make sure the shape and size make an appropriate mold for a decent sized bun.)

Add the ramen noodles and seasoning package to 02. the boiling water. Stir and boil for 5 minutes. Drain.

Pour the whisked eggs into the hot ramen noodles 03. and mix by stirring; be sure that all of the noodles have been coated with the eggs.

Split the egg-coated ramen noodles in half and place WEIRS WALDO 04. each half into its own ramekin, covering the bottom layer with noodles. Press the ramen down so that the layer Bistro 83 invites guests to discover the sensational flavors of a seasonally-inspired menu of noodles is even in each bowl. and an international wine list in a casually-sophisticated atmosphere. Well, Weir is he? Our dining choices are expertly designed to excite and surprise the palate, Ramen Bun featuring wine selections that personalize the dining experience. Lacking the obnoxious rimmed specs and candy caned frock, Place a sheet of wax paper over each noodle layer, Janey Schafer > 36033 WESTMINISTER AVE., N. RIDGEVILLE, OHIO 440.353.2828 05. then place a weight on top of each one. (I used heavy Pressure Life is debuting our “where is he” bloke. Meet Weir. Mon.-Thurs. 11AM-10PM / Fri. & Sat. 11AM - 11PM He’s a curmudgeon, a self-made chameleon; however we find his circular coasters, but a cup or anything that fits appropri- company so endearing that we can’t resist pursuing his company. ately on top will work.) THE PREMIER BISTRO AND WINE BAR ON THE WESTSIDE I have been stalking the ramen burger through social media for Refrigerate overnight; the noodles will need time to Despite an arduous hunt, our best agents have been ill equipped over a year now; sadly I haven't traveled anywhere close enough to 06. cool down and stick together so that they become firm to find our friend. We’re hoping you can assist. Look for his mug a restaurant or food truck that sells these delicious looking things, and take on a circular bun shape. in one of our multiple advertisements and you will win $25.00 gift and I've never had a chance to try one! card if you are the first to submit to @thepressurelife. (via facebook, 5000 FLYERS twitter and instagram). Spray a medium skillet with non-stick cooking spray Fellow ramen lovers—I have figured out a way to make them at 07. and set it on the stove. home, and they are so good that you can even eat the ramen bun all by itself. It's an overnight process, and it involves being extremely Carefully remove the ramen buns from the ramekins. careful and patient, but trust me—the wait is so worth it! 08. (Try to do this so that the ramen bun falls onto a sheet of wax paper; that way, it can easily be transported to the $ skillet.)

Optional: If you are having trouble with the ramen 99Print Green Ramen Burger 09. bun shape, don't worry. You can use a large cup as a Recipe makes 1 ramen burger We Plant One Tree with cookie cutter in order to get rid of any stray noodles. (Pos- every order. sibly use with corresponding image?) Ingredients: Upgrade It Once the ramen buns have made it to the skillet, cook 11 Paper Stocks 1 package of Maruchan chicken flavored ramen noodles 10. them for 5 minutes on each side at medium heat. They 6 Standard Circle Shapes are done when they start to turn golden brown. (Sometimes 20 Painted Edge Colors 2 eggs, whisked Rounded Corners pressing down on the top with a spatula helps the bun 1/2 lb. of ground meat, or one burger patty become more firm and consolidated.)

Create Yours Now! JAK.INK/PRESSURE Price Shown: 4×6" / 100# Gloss Text / Full Color / Full Bleed / Double-Sided

12 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 13 vs. el Matthew McLaughlin // Illustrations: Aaron Gelston s the wind rustles the parking blocks in arid and scenic Rocky River, Bomba is enjoying a pleasant happy hour, a trickle of guests grows happily into a full stream. All are hungry for tacos, A thirsty for rum. The pleasant crowd thinks little of the fragile BOMBA nature of their safety, paying no mind to the things that may be out Chupacabra there, hungry for their pain and thirsty for their blood. Things like, El Chupacabra. (Note: Cue Spanish guitar.)

Bomba has unwit- Can Cleveland’s latest The question is not whether tingly built a paradise taco sensation for El Chupacabra an attack will happen. But — a kitchen full of survive an assault rather, how will they cope? savory lamb, pork, and beef (not to men- from South America’s tion duck, shrimp and newest cryptid? fresh fish). The smell of the Lamb Barbacoa alone is enough to draw the foul creature miles outside of its territory. The question is not whether an attack will happen, but rather, how will they cope?

The open-air dining room is an atrociously easy entry point, grant- ing El Chupacabra full access to the restaurant. The visible kitchen window also means that there is no barring the bastard from clawing his way right into the food, which will only increase his strength. The only thing standing between El Chupacabra and an unlimited supply of fresh meat (human and otherwise) is the bar.

The bar staff are polite and courteous, but seem lacking in the killer instinct required to tackle such a beast on one's own. The best they can hope for is to distract it with their impressive selection of 60+ rums and pre-built Mojitos long enough for someone else to take over the space. Thankfully they have that someone.

Working just outside the kitchen, the last man who touches the plates before they are sent to the tables, is a dark man with a perfectly trimmed mustache. The passion and tenacity he shows for the food, correcting orders, sending dishes back to the kitchen, will serve him well when he meets his foe. This is the man I want by my side (or preferably in front of me) when El Chupacabra comes knocking.

Surrounded by knives, pans, and other impromptu bludgeoning instruments, this man is as prepared as it gets when it comes to making perfectly fatty Slow Braised Duck tacos (paired with crunchy Know the Enemy pickled onion and pineapple slaw) or killing a mythological predator.

In the end, the moxie of Bomba’s kitchen staff more than make up First reports of El Chupacabra came from Puerto Rico back in '95, and for the timidity of the bar. I am confident that they would survive haven’t stopped rolling in since. Descriptions of the beast vary from bear this cryptozoological catastrophe with minimal casualties, and that sized lizard to a mummified coyote with a second protruding mouth (a la the staff would cook the survivors some damn fine Yucca Fries Alien). However, one thing we can be sure of is its undying thirst for the afterwards. blood of cattle (preferably in taco form).

Pressure Life gives Bomba 17 out of 20 Pints of Goat Blood.

Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 15 THE BARK HEARD ‘ROUND THE WORLD

Gennifer Harding-Gosnell // Photography: Casey Rearick

ur parents dressed us in terrycloth onesies with orange Cleveland Browns helmets sewn in the corner of the chest, close to our hearts. Fans and Players are They dragged us to training camp in the sweltering heat of summer and games at Muni Stadium in the bitter winds Painting the Globe In of winter. We still show off that photo of us with Bob Golic from when we met him at Applebee’s in '98. We get on Brown and Orange Osocial media and blast “hack journalists” we felt had put a target on Johnny Manziel’s back. Our brothers, cousins, classmates, and coworkers are Browns fans.

So what about those of us decked out in brown and orange that otherwise have no connection to Cleve- land, or even America?

Steve Maybury, 51, lives in South- end-on-Sea in Essex, England, forty miles east of London. He has been supporting the Cleve-

16 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 17 land Browns for over thirty years: “In the early/mid 1980s, a new Cristoffer Becker, 43, from Oslo, Norway, is the President of the Alvaro Ramos, 44, of Zaragoza, Spain, has been supporting the Browns TV channel started screening NFL highlights. Many new fans in Browns Backers of Scandinavia, with seven official members and over for ten years and was brought into the fold by an American. “I was a the UK followed the big sides such as 300 Facebook followers. He became a casual NFL fan until one US friend of mine explained the history and BROWNS BACKERS the Raiders, Dolphins, Redskins, etc., Browns fan on an extended trip to the US facts of the Cleveland Browns to me,” he says. “I realized there was no but we were not following the crowd in 1995. “I bought an old car, a 1978 Dodge supporting club here in Spain, so I did it myself.” First LGBT Cleveland Chapter Starting at Twist and wanted to identify with a team. Browns fans from Cleveland have Aspen for $500, and started my journey The TV programme did a show on done their part in sharing the love across 39 states. I lived most of the time in Most international fans use NFL GamePass to watch Browns games. the and Bernie Kosar. hostels and at places where I was invited For around $70 US dollars, you can order all the regular season games The Browns Backers Worldwide has their first official LGBT Cleveland seemed to be a blue collar worldwide. Many of the international to stay for a couple of nights. On this trip, for one team and watch them at your leisure, a perfect setup for those Cleveland chapter, Browns Backers With A Twist. The new group city with rabid fans that really cared groups include American expats. Cleveland stood out as the nicest place, living in time zones where what we call the “early” games in the US will be hosted by one of the city’s most well-known and longest- about their team – pretty similar to with a whole lot of warm and friendly don’t start for them until 3 or 4 a.m. established LGBT-friendly venues, Twist Social Club in Cleveland. where I grew up in an industrial area people. It was in talks with local people of South Wales.” in Cleveland that the Browns seemed to Many of them have traveled to Cleveland to see their favorite team Club President Scott Swaggerty applied to start the chapter in be the NFL team I should root for. That year, it looked promising for in action. Steve Maybury says he has been to Cleveland a number August with the support of Twist owner Constantine Katsaros By the "Most Excellent Order" of the British Empire, Steve Maybury them, but to my surprise, the Browns moved to Baltimore! For me as of times and has also taken in games in Phoenix, Denver, New York, and general manager Jack Messer. “Twist has always been now holds the prestigious title of President of the British Bulldawgs, a European, that seemed so crazy that you could actually sell a team Green Bay and several other cities, but they’re not like Cleveland. He heavily involved in sports for the gay community, supporting the UK’s chapter of the Browns Backers Worldwide, the Cleveland and move it. So I decided to let the NFL rest for a while and got into it says Cleveland is a “very underrated city”, he loves visiting, and is and sponsoring teams,” Constantine says. “Last season, we were Browns organization’s official fan club. Chapters exist as far away as again in 1999 when the Browns started their second era.” “always amazed at the passion and loyalty of Browns fans.” Cristof- getting a bigger draw when we were showing the Browns games; Australia and New Zealand; even Antarctica has hosted a chapter, fer Becker was just in Cleveland last year, got field passes from the there’s a huge following for the Browns in the gay community. though it was only one (very dedicated) person strong. Browns fans from Cleveland have done their part in sharing the love Browns’ front office and met with General Manager Ray Farmer and It’s nice to have a different vibe, people from all [parts] of the worldwide. Many of the international groups include American expats. owner . community coming together and watching the game.” Ryan Urbon, 26, is from Akron, now living in Iceland. He says, “We have a permanent spot in downtown Reykjavik called Bjarni Fell Despite the Browns’ mediocre, often disastrous seasons, international Because so many other Browns Backers organizations exist near Sports Pub. They have been very generous letting us watch the games fans remain steadfastly loyal. For those of us in Cleveland that have Twist, Scott’s application was initially denied. He asked the Browns there and it is growing. People see us cheering and come and sit with for reconsideration: “I emailed back and said, ‘We’re a LGBT us, it’s awesome. Some would rather just watch the soccer match, but organization, we don’t have any other representation.’” I think it is drawing attention to us and I love it.” THE BARK 20 continues on page Scott was told he would have to obtain permission to start the group from the thirteen other local chapters within a 10-mile radius of the club. He says, “I emailed all thirteen of these groups and within three days, all thirteen came back and said ‘Yes, we’re behind you 100%. Start your group’.”

Fans aren’t the only ones representing the Dawg Pound on distant shores. just goes to show there are no barriers or boundaries that can't be crossed.” The new chapter already has twenty registered members and Browns’ tight end Gary Barnidge started “American Football Without Barriers” We know all work and no play makes for dull boys, so the guys made sure to nearly 60 followers on their Facebook page and is expecting to with two college buddies in 2011. They’ve held training camps in Brazil, Turkey have a little non-football related fun while on their travels, including a mass grow throughout the season as word of the group’s existence and China to spread knowledge and appreciation of American football across snowball fight at the Great Wall of China after AFWB’s inaugural camp in spreads. the world with the ultimate goal of bringing talented youngsters to the US to be Shanghai in 2013. scouted by collegiate teams. “We want to spread the sport we love all over the Browns Backers With A Twist will host their first fundraiser for world while also visiting and helping charities in the other countries”, says Gary. “It’s a great memory that won't be forgotten. One of the craziest things was the Browns Foundation Thursday, September 24, at Twist, a “Drag “We want to give kids the opportunity to do what they want to do.” the ski lift ride you have to take up to the Great Wall. It was foggy and high Bingo” night will be hosted by Veranda L’Ni and will feature a off the ground and a few of the guys were a little scared but no one backed special guest bingo caller, one of the Cleveland Browns’ most The likes of DeAngelo Williams, Marshawn Lynch, Golden Tate, Browns’ out. It was an awesome trip. We take in the culture of all the places we visit.” famous fans, The Bone Lady. linebacker Barkevious Mingo and center Alex Mack have all participated in the overseas camps. Details about their mission and adventures can be found at Thanks to satellite broadcasting, the internet, and the efforts of the NFL’s You can find more information about Browns Backers with a Twist www.afwbcamp.com. marketing department, the popularity of American football abroad has by visiting their Facebook page. To register with this or any other American Football grown substantially throughout our lifetimes. Browns’ players like Gary Browns Backers chapter, go to www.brownsbackers.org. “We did our first women's camp this past year in Turkey, and it was amazing,” Barnidge and fans like Ryan Urbon have gone global as our ambassadors, Gary says. “You could truly see how much they loved playing the sport and selling our team and our city to others, while expanding the Dawg Pound Without Barriers (AFWB) were eager to learn everything that we could teach them. We actually held into places most of us will never see and to people we will never know. Like their camp at the same time as some of the boys’ camps and watching them distant 12th cousins you’ll never meet, you still know the connection is out compete with the boys and seeing how hard they worked was amazing. They there. They wear the same colors, watch the same games, suffer the same Speaking of barriers, let’s break some more.... even worked harder than many of the boys and were pushing them, which lows and ride the same game-winning highs. They are family. They are us.

18 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 19 THE BARK 19 continued from page A TINY HOUSE suffered through the more dismal years, the concept of people becom- ing Browns fans by choice can be a dumbfounding one. , , The Move, The Factory of Sadness — why would a person intentionally put themselves through all that? Cristoffer Becker has asked himself that question many times. “ It's like EXPERIMENT a marriage, one stays loyal no matter what. I have cheered and cried Cleveland's big step towards a tiny future with my team. It’s the feeling of excitement every August before the season starts, hoping this year will be better than the last, the joy of every win.” Being from Norway, Will Kmetz Cristoffer knows he could I have cheered and cried switch his loyalties with- he tiny house movement is taking the nation by storm, and drop dramatically; many who already own these tiny homes boast with my team. It's the out any repercussions, it’s making its way to Cleveland. Imagine the smallest New single ­digit heating and cooling bills. Some have even gone com- but says, “The thought York City studio apartment you can pletely off grid using solar power, collecting feeling of excitement every of switching to any other T think of and put it on wheels. Toss rainwater, and composting their waste. In August... Hoping this year NFL team has never all of the materialistic garbage, pack the Many who already own these addition to being financially feasible, these crossed my mind.” essential stuff into a Chinese take­out tiny homes boast single-digit homes provide a solution to all of the wasted will be better than the last. container, and you have the tiny house space Cleveland has laying around. Vacant “Old European genetics,” lifestyle. These miniature dwellings are heating and cooling bills. or abandoned lots deemed “unsuitable” for claims Alvaro Ramos. now common on the West Coast, but other types of construction, and spaces too “The times we win feel fantastic, way better than if I was a fan of a team are increasing in popularity across the small to fit a traditional home, can now be that was used to winning. I could change my favorite restaurant, change nation, including Cleveland. The only thing holding the movement utilized for tiny homes. These tiny houses won’t only be a fantastic my girlfriend, but quitting my team because they play horrible would be back is zoning laws; in Cleveland, the minimum square footage for addition to an awesome city, they can also have a huge impact on the the worst kind of treason!” a single family home is 950 square feet, while tiny homes can range growth of Cleveland as a community. anywhere from 80 to 800 square feet. Browns fans in general are among the most passionate in the league. It This is the goal of the Detroit Shoreway Community Development was that display of passion that led Steve Maybury to become one of us, You're probably wondering why anyone would want a house that Organization (DSCDO), which has teamed up with Citizens Bank to that brought Cristoffer Becker into the fold, and that sparked interest tiny—who the hell would want to live like that? Sure, these tiny take on a project called Tiny House Experiment Cleveland. Citizens in Alvaro Ramos. The lack of a homegrown connection to the game homes are aesthetically pleasing, offer a myriad of impressive tiny Bank donated $140,000 to DSCDO, in conjunction with Cleveland and this team makes their dedication even more special; they chose to features, and can even become mobile, but we shouldn’t lose sight EcoVillage, to build a 583-square-foot pilot house in the Detroit be one of us. They are our brethren in brown and orange, transcending of their true purpose; they’re affordable, can be situated almost any- Shoreway neighborhood. An interview with the project manager cultural, language, and location barriers that would otherwise divide where, and provide solutions for an ever growing population and of Tiny House Experiment Cleveland, Adam Davenport, gives us us. They are us. city. These homes give young professionals and lower ­to middle­ an inside glimpse into Cleveland’s tiny house future. class people more housing options. They can be financed for the price of an apartment and owned within a few short years, or even TINY HOUSE 22 bought outright, foregoing a mortgage all together. Utility bills also continues on page

20 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 21 few cottage designs, and most of their designs are on a trailer. We have modified it TINY HOUSE 21 to make it more modern. We did a marketability study a couple months ago where continued from page we sent out a survey and received around 300 responses. We also did some focus groups where we asked people what they would want to see in a tiny house, and Can you tell us about your collaboration with Citizens Bank and why they the contemporary design was one of the things we saw most from those. We took 01. have an interest in tiny houses? And why they chose Cleveland? They are a different approach where we modified the roof line so we would have greater sun a national bank after all. ray access during the winter and summer months. We also wanted to heat and cool this home for a very low cost, so we are thinking and hoping for around $500 per Citizens Bank approached us late last year about this project. They were formerly year with the help from a mini ­split system. We are also looking at solar for the roof Charter One, they were doing a rebranding, and they wanted to get involved in a as well, and on the outside using permeable pavers for the split driveway. project in the neighborhood and specifically the EcoVillage area. We applied for some funding and they reached out to us and that’s how it originated. Together this started How many houses are going to be built, and where? ­ out as a true experiment to see if we could 04. do a project like this because it’s never been EXPOSING THE TRUTH [The design] had to done before in Cleveland, or Ohio for that We are going to build two houses to start. One house we will hold for a period of time matter. There are a few people around the and let people rent it out like Airbnb, kind of vacation style, so if people are interested provide most of the area that have tiny houses on trailers, but in trying this out as viable option or they are just really interested in it, then they can for a Broader Spectrum none have built them on permanent foun- rent it for the weekend or for a few days. They will be located on 58th and Pear Avenue. common household dations. From there we started exploring amenities. sites around the 65th rapid station and a And the other one will be up for sale? A girl's inside story on growing few other areas. We looked at some designs, 05. however we had specific requirements we up as a Jehovah's Witness wanted to get out of it such as an option for first floor living. We wanted to buy the Yeah, owner occupant. The second house will be financed by Sutton Builders who is plans off the shelf, we didn’t really want to design the entire thing by ourselves, our contracting developer. They have done a lot of work in Tremont mainly and have but we wanted to modify it—designing an entire house is a huge undertaking. It had an interest in a project like this for quite some time, so we felt that they would Katie Bacha also had to be appropriate to fit on the site as well as provide most of the common lend a huge hand in making this a successful project. They will finance and build the household amenities you normally see. And Citizens is a national bank, but they second home and sell it. ehovah’s Witnesses are one of those religious groups surrounded have been located in Cleveland for some time now. They have an office downtown by rumors, stereotypes and the occasional, “Oh yeah, I heard and one of their outreach directors for public relations and involvement lives in the What kind of impact or results are you guys hoping this project will have they can’t do… (fill in the blank here).” For the most part, people neighborhood. They knew about us and they knew what we wanted to do around 06. in the Cleveland area? J have a general idea of what the religion is like, or know pieces the EcoVillage area, so it was an easy partnership in that respect. and parts of the belief structure. Witnesses do not celebrate Christ- We definitely hope that it can be replicated, that’s the ultimate goal. Since the foreclo- mas or birthdays, nor are they permitted to accept blood transfusions. Cleveland obviously has some tough zoning laws for tiny houses. Anything sure crisis, and certainly since some of the neighborhoods in Cleveland have started There is also the well known reaction for most people to hide and 02. considered a single family home has to be 950 square feet or larger. Coun- to rebound, there are very hot markets in Tremont and Ohio City. We’re starting to not to open the door when a Witness knocks. But there is more, a cilman Matt Zone has outwardly expressed his interest in the tiny house movement see a lot of that. We’re also starting to see the rehabilitation of old homes and new lot more than that. I put JW in my search engine and found a and amending these zoning laws. Has he made any progress with this, and how are construction projects like Battery Park and Breakwater Bluffs over on 58th, north website that lists 141 rules that fill in that blank. As a former you guys working with this problem? of Detroit Avenue. However, we also want to see a lot of infill development on our Jehovah’s Witness, I have an insight into the faith, an vacant lots south of Bridge, so this is definitely a chance to see some of those lots insight that reveals what happens when your mother His role has definitely been connecting us with the proper people at the city. We that have been disregarded because they’re smaller sizes and can’t be used as a opens that door and life as you know it changes. have had many meetings with city planning officials and also have a design review, normal buildable lot, normal buildable lot, which is usually 30-by-120 or 40-by-140. and we have a more formal committee meeting with the board of zoning appeals Ultimately, we want to set a precedence for a different design approach where you Jehovah’s Witnesses (JWs) are known for in the near future about this small problem. They were very open to it from the start can build a great house on a smaller sized lot. “preaching” from door to door, trying to because what it does, essentially, is bring permanent residence to the city, so in spread the word of God and the Bible. that respect, they have been all for it. We will need to get a variance for the house That is exactly how they found us. size, we will probably need to get a variance for the lot size also because it will be My mom chose to take the time smaller than what is typically a single family lot. We actually might need a couple to listen to the members that more variances, but for the most part, our partners have been very open with this came to our house and idea and trying to get it to work. For more information on found the core of their Cleveland tiny houses, visit message very invit- You mentioned previously that you guys aren’t designing the house, so are ing compared to citizenstinyhouse.com 03. you contracting through a tiny house development company? her Catholic upbring- We are using Tumbleweed [Tiny House Company] Whidbey design. It’s one of their ing. She

22 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 internal/external struggles that “normal” teenagers experience.

Frustrated with the excessive restrictions that the faith placed on my life, coupled with the realization of the woman that I really was, I decided at the age of 18 to withdraw from this organization that I knew so well. Looking back, this was one of the hardest decisions in my life at that age that I had to make. JW’s have a 3-tier system of punishment, dependent upon the severity of the sin. In my initial encounter with the ‘elders’ or priests, I chose to approach them and reveal my misbehavior. They reassured me that if I invested more time in my relationship with Jehovah and proved to be remorseful for my actions, I would redeem myself. The faith dictated that Unwilling to change my lifestyle, I was punished a second via started studying weekly with one of the education as an improper use of one’s public reproval. At that time I was also warned that if I did not women and my Dad, although reluctant I was only allowed time in “the last days.” change my ways, I would be disfellowshipped, meaning that I at first, joined her six months later. After to have friends of would be excommunicated. Ultimately determined to leave the five years, they decided to fully commit. The JW friends that I did have were my faith, I willingly continued to reject the rules that I was expected My family became Jehovah’s Witnesses the same religion. age or older, all of whom were a product to follow without question. During my third and final interaction, when I was old enough to have expe- Friendship made with of a long family connection to the organi- they summoned me. Being called before the elders was absolutely rienced celebrating birthdays and tra- zation or newly converted, spread across terrible—a complete psychological mind f*ck. I had to sit before ditional Christian holidays like Easter other 'worldly' school several school districts. If a person of the three grown men and discuss my actions in detail; ones that most and Christmas, but was young enough opposite sex wanted to join my friends 18-year-old girls tell their best friends and hide from their parents. that I could be classified as “growing up mates was not an and I out, we had to go out in groups. Boys It was violating and demeaning. I eventually broke down when a Jehovah’s Witness.” On a basic level, option. and girls were not allowed to be alone I was told to recite passages from the Bible that pinpointed the JWs hold meetings and read, interpret and together, for dating was only for those sinfulness of my actions. Ultimately, I was disfellowshipped. As a apply what the Bible dictates to everyday who were ready to engage in marriage. As result of this, other JW’s were not even allowed to greet or make life. We started attending meetings every a result, the majority of my 17 and older eye contact with me. It was a shunning experience. Monday, Wednesday and Sunday at the friends were getting married right out of Kingdom Hall, their place of worship. That schedule was tedious high school, or while in school. Marriage meant that you could have Now as a woman many years removed from this experience, I and time consuming even though it was the bare minimum. It was sex and not get in trouble. have come to realize the effects of this life experience. Jehovah also difficult because my immediate family was the only part of Witnesses pride themselves for speaking in agreement and being my family to leave the Catholic Church and join the Witnesses. It Unfortunately, a large portion of my friends from such young rela- like-minded; however for me I witnessed them creating a com- was even harder though to make others understand who or what tionships are no longer married to their partners, have divorced munity of inclusivity that was extremely judgmental of not only we’d joined. and have left the organization altogether. Being a witness also secular society, but the faithful as well. However, most JW’s have meant, that smoking, drinking in excessive amounts or underage, not experienced what privately goes on behind the door of a judi- In grade school, I could not partake in the holiday parties at school. sex before marriage, tattoos, piercing and anything derived from cial hearing as I had. As a result of this, I initially struggled with My mom would pick me up and take me home in the middle of a “worldly” influence and disrespected the “divine standard” was fostering relationships with others, as I couldn’t find it in myself the day. In junior high and high school, I was not allowed to attend prohibited and accountable for public social punishment. to trust others. With time and with the support of my family, who school dances or friend’s parties. The faith dictated that I was only left the faith when they witnessed how the elders had treated me, I allowed to have friends of the same religion. Friendship made with One would think that the relationships between the JW youth can honestly say that I do not hold any ill will toward the faith, nor other “worldly” schoolmates was not an option and, for most, highly would be that much stronger because we all were raised to value do I experience any regret for the time that I spent as a member of frowned upon by the faith. Accordingly, unnecessary associating the members of our faith over non-believers. However, the clicks of the faith. Ultimately I have walked away with a broader spectrum or socializing with non-believers was to be avoided. Fortunately JW kids were harsher and crueler than I had known. That’s prob- to empathize with others and have developed a sense of clarity of for me, my parents were on the lenient side in their enforcement ably when I first knew I did not want to be a part of the faith. The the world around me. of these strict rules handed down by the faith. My parents held us internal gossip and sh!t talk made it impossible to trust anyone. On to their own scope of accountability and moral value sets within the surface, everything looked warm and fuzzy, like the white rabbit I have discovered a new click of some of the Jehovah’s Witnesses our private household, so the faith did not entirely determine our in Monty Python’s search for the Holy Grail. But internally it was that grew up with me. We see each other in passing, moving in interaction with secular society. We were permitted to maintain our vicious and calculated. It was like everyone was eager to throw each different social circles that only run into each other as fate would childhood friendships we had already developed prior to becoming other under the bus, or into the lair of the “terrible monster with have it. We look at each other and say hello, hug, or just nod. Even Witnesses and we were given a looser interpretation of the rules nasty, big, pointy teeth.” No one was safe. It didn’t matter where though we have left, for some the deprogramming may take months than most of my friends’ parents. I was allowed to go to Friday you lived or went to school. Rumors weren’t just spread around or years. We share our stories with whom we choose. For us there night football games, participate in sports, and attend prom. I went the hallways at school, they were spread from city to city. At an is a certain bond or camaraderie that is unspoken, as we now live on to graduate from college even though the faith viewed higher impressionable age it was a confusing and an ugly addition to usual our lives as we choose in a free society.

24 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 25 Adam Dodd // Illustrations: Aaron Gelston

4 A.M. on Saturday night. My field agent, Jorge Trout, and I are staked out on a strip of beach to which we were tipped off that a series of unusual lights had been seen the previ- It's ous night. Armed with a pair of flashlights, binoculars, a camera, and liter of Wild Turkey, we’ve been hunkered down for the past three hours with little to show for our efforts aside from a rapidly diminishing bottle of whiskey. Such is the catch as catch can luck of UFO spotters. As Trout’s frustrations mount he takes to water, a drunken lunatic raving at the whitecaps. I hold my post, keeping an CLOSE ENCOUNTERS eye to the night sky thinking back to the half century of unexplained phenomena that brought me to this desolate cove in the first place.

According to a report filed with MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network, on August 29th 2014, two campers (whose names were withheld of a Certain Kind at their requests) at Salt Fork state park in southern Ohio went night fishing as they did every Saturday night. At one-thirty in the morning they noticed a pale green light dotting over the tree line, passively drifting left to right and back again. The younger man drew his girlfriend’s father’s attention to the lights then… it was morning, Ohio UFO sightings: five-nineteen A.M.

Celestial pathway More than three hours had inexplicably passed within a blink of an eye for both men. Somehow it was daybreak and the bonfire that or Alien hot-spot? had been roaring beside him was now no more than cold ashes. The young man was still pointing to the sky struggling to regain his equilibrium when he regained awareness hours later. The older male experienced the exact phenomena for the same duration of time. Neither had been drinking or consumed drugs of any kind, nor could they account how nearly three hours had passed without the passage of a single heartbeat. It was what is considered in certain circles a case of “missing time.”

The next morning, Thomas Wertman was on the case. Co-director of the Cleveland Ufology Project and charter member of MUFON, he is part of the organization’s Star Team, which is dispatched to any reported cases of possible alien encounters or abductions within Ohio. One of the more tried assumptions of UFO enthusiasts is that they are all kooks and paranoid recluses vying for attention. After attending one of the monthly MUFON seminars at the Westlake library, I learned more about the organization and was impressed at the thorough and procedural methods women and men like Wertman conduct their investigations. He, like the others in MUFON and those who attended the seminar, may be enthusiastic and at times eccentric, but are interested in only one thing, the truth.

Wertman began by pulling up flight paths and found that there were no planes or helicopters within the campers’ line of vision throughout the entire night. He cross-examined them separately to see if their stories aligned. He did not seek to prove his beliefs in alien existence through their report, nor did he approach them with an air of skep- ticism. Forensic tests were performed on the men’s clothing, and

26 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 27 although results were inconclusive, no reasonable explanation has it is inconsistent considering the vigilance our government otherwise been offered as to where the two victims three hours went. This case held in regards to Russian aggression at the time. might be one of the more enigmatic and recent events within Ohio, but it is far from the first or last. This is not to say hometown sightings are a thing of the past. On December 14th 1994 Trumbull County officers were called to inves- Ohio is ranked second only to the region around Area 51 in Nevada tigate a series of strange green and golden lights many residents were for possible UFO sightings. I delved into the US government’s newly calling dispatch to report. The call would prove the most baffling UFO released Project Bluebook files regarding UFO and alien phenomena phenomena in the area in recorded history. Officer Toby Meloro soon for any ties to our hometown and was surprised, if not a little unsettled, spotted the light and followed it with his squad car, barely able to keep at our recurrent entries. up as the light led him to a dirt road outside of a dense patch of woods. Suddenly, the engine to Meloro’s squad car died, as did all of the elec- On December 20 of 1960, Ann Corrick of Washington Viewpoint tronic equipment aboard. Stepping out of the car, Meloro looked up to interviewed Lt Colonel Lawrence Tacker, the head of the Air Force see the same light hovering directly above him. Moments later he was Office of Information, and asked why there blinded with a brilliant all-encompassing light seemed to be such a preponderance of that turned the woods into daylight according sighting within the Cleveland area. Tacker Ohio is ranked second only to his recorded account. As soon as it began it agreed, “Cleveland and Akron do have a was over, the light was gone and with it his rather active UFO groups out there…” Less to the region around Area 51 car’s malfunctions ceased. He continued the than a year later former WWII B29 fighter pursuit; however he was not the only one to pilot, Ernie Stadvec, was flying over Akron in Nevada for possible UFO see it. Fourteen other officers are on record as and witnessed a bright green orb hovering sightings. witnessing the still unexplained phenomena, along the side of his plane. The light then including Officer James Baker of neighboring dove at him with alarming speed before Brookfield Township, who reported sighting HALLOW CLE pulling a sharp 180-degree turn and disappearing. He was with five three UFOs operating tight aeronautical formations from his vantage passengers, all of whom corroborated his story. Major Robert Fried point atop a water tower. Captain John Keytack, of nearby Warrens- Halloween is creeping toward us, so mix things up this year with some Cleveland-­centric costumes that will of nearby Wright Patterson Air force was tasked to investigate. His ville Air Reserve Station, at the time could not attest to what many equally show off your pride in local culture and a level of absurdity no one has experienced before. conclusion was an atmospheric refraction off of the star, Cappella. residents and over a dozen officers had gone on record as seeing, but Stadvec would not be denied. He filed an official refusal of assessment confirmed there were no aircrafts, experimental or otherwise, that with the FBI and insisted the men from Wright Patterson’s motiva- were in flight that night over the area in question. Dan Bernardi // Illustrations: Aaron Gelston tions were focused only ridicule and misdirection. He challenged the authorities to explain how light refraction could navigate a precise For at least half a century, Ohio has experienced strange encoun- In celebration of its 20th anniversary, take your favorite Finally- a punny costume that combines your course around his plane. Adding fuel to the fire, his sighting was ters with lights that appear to have sentient maneuverability and/or THE ROCK HALL elements of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and mash them THE LAKE ERIE MUENSTER love for local mythical creatures and pale, semi- independently confirmed by air traffic control operators working at advanced technology. Despite numerous confirmations among people into a wearable collage. Curl your hair like Little Richard, put on a leather Madonna soft cheese. Start with a set of painter's coveralls, then purchase several pounds of Hopkins airport. of reputation including air traffic controllers, WWII pilots and police bustier, and shimmy into the tightest pair of Bowie-style Labyrinth pants you can sliced Muenster. Take a hot glue gun and let loose, coating yourself with enough cheese officers, the FBI, and to a larger extent the United States Air Force, find. Anything inductee related goes, so make it your own. Strap a boom box on to make even Bessie's mouth water. Authenticate it and discourage fellow Halloweeners I delved deeper into Bluebook and found a recurrent theme of unex- seem unable or unwilling to provide conclusive evidence about the your shoulder and blast the classics as you troll for candy. from devouring your outfit by taking a dip in the lake before you hit the streets. plained green lights haunting Northeastern Ohio. A year prior to Stad- origins or intent of these luminal phenomena. Let us not forget, it was vec’s sighting, a female writer in Richmond, who wished to remain Jerry Ehman at the OSU Big Ear Radio Observatory in 1977 that first Going on three terms as mayor of Cleveland, You're gonna need a friend or significant other for anonymous, had a report filed with the FBI claiming to have seen a intercepted what is now known as the infamous “Wow! Signal,” a yet ACTION MAYOR JACKSON Frank Jackson is already a kind of badass, but B.I.G. CHUCK & LIL JOHN this one. Straight outta Cleveland, Chuck and similar green light hovering just above her house before exhibiting to be duplicated and an incredibly powerful sound emission that was he makes a better mayor than a costume. Don't just pop on a suit and glasses, John are notorious for hosting films and sketch comedy. Now for a Halloween hip- the same maneuvers Stadvec would report the following year. Going transmitted from the depths of space. There are many enthusiasts that declaring yourself a high ranking official. Cut the sleeves off that suit and grease hop makeover. The shorty in your relationship can be Lil John. Slap a swim cap on for back even a decade further, according to declassified Project Grudge hold this as proof of an attempted extraterrestrial communication. up your muscles so people see you mean business. Wrap a bandana around your the bald effect, a thick fake stache, and a sparkling grill. B.I.G. Chuck wears a baggy documents, multiple reports forced a government investigation on forehead and make it your mission to party. Don't forget a ballpoint pen- a good sweatshirt, jeans, and platform shoes if you need them. Equip sunglasses, bling, and April 22, 1949, into a strange sighting. George Andrus, Chief of the Standing on the shores of Lake Erie I was left wondering, what did it mayor's only weapon of choice. a serious attitude before entering the party. Ohio Weather Bureau spotted an unexplained red light hovering all mean? Was there a correlation that tied all of these disparate sight- over the airfield. All possible man made, atmospheric, and astro- ings and experiences together? Is Ohio merely under some celestial Hey- it's not what you think. This one's for all MMA master Jessica “Evil” Eye has been punching nomical possibilities were ruled out. His account was corroborated flight paths or is there a specific interest to which alien intelligence THE CLEVELAND STEAMER you downtrodden sports fans. Pull out your "EVIL" JESSICA "EVIL" EYE her way toward the top of the UFC since 2008, so by George Beers, Senior Air Traffic Controller at Cleveland Munic- is drawn here? Trout proved to be little help while he wrestled with Browns, Cavs, and Tribe apparel and any sports gear you've got. Once you're sport your love for Cleveland's favorite hometown ass-kicker with a Halloween twist. ipal Airport, and Dan Guertin, a fellow control tower operator who the undertow, but his midnight howls did incur a series of different repping hard, get steaming mad thinking about the times you've been Gear up in everything Eye would wear for a bout in the ring, and weave your hair alleged to have seen the same strange lights days earlier. The FBI lights to our location. They were red and blue and mounted to the top disappointed by Cleveland teams, and try to maintain a scowl on your face as you into corn rows. Then, as if a single “evil” moniker wasn't enough, pretend like you conducted an official investigation but to this day the lights seen in of passing patrol car. As we scurried back into the darkness, we fell roam the party, shouting your words for the rest of the night. Just remember it's walked through a portal to hell and back. Satanic make-up, prop devil horns, and 1949 are unexplained. The Air Force did not rule out the possibility over each other laughing. What better way to cap the night than with only a costume; don't take it too seriously. pentagram painted on your stomach should do the trick, or treat. of Russians testing out experimental rockets, which is as illogical as a close encounter of an altogether different kind? Make any of these Cleveland costumes this year and if you take some pictures, post them online, and tag PressureLife, you could win some cool schwag!

28 PRESSURE LIFE | Issue 3 Issue 3 | PRESSURELIFE.com 29 His voice was raspy, probably from too many years of smoking, evi- denced by the cigarette dangling from his lips as he spoke. He was wearing clothes you’d expect a groundskeeper to be in, a stained old T, faded jeans and boots. His hair was past his shoulders, straight and silver.

FRANKLIN CASTLE I told him who I was and what I was doing here, trying to hide my Gennifer Harding-Gosnell disappointment that there would most likely be no grand arrest or scary ghosts. Not only were there lights on in the house and this The most famous haunted landmark within city limits is the Tiede- right place at the right time. The uppermost window in the corner fellow out watering the grass, but a large privacy fence had been mann House, known as “Franklin Castle” to native Clevelanders. The tower suddenly produced a strange, slight yellow light, and in its put up alongside the castle; no view of the ultra-creepy backyard castle in its current form was built in 1881; the Tiedemann family lived shadow appeared the figure of a person, what looked like the shape where all the babies that allegedly died in the house were believed there from 1866 until 1895, when Hannes Tiedemann’s wife, Luise, died of a woman in long, flowing garb. I stopped suddenly and focused to be buried. and he sold the property to another German family. Rumors abound on the window and as soon as I did, the shadowy figure appeared to surrounding the castle, from the “myste- move away to the right and the yellow light He said it was ‘cool’ that I was doing a story on the house, sounded rious” deaths of several of Tiedemann’s faded away. The whole experience couldn’t into the idea of talking to me. He told me it had changed owners family members to the murders of Nazis have lasted for more than three seconds. again and he now lived in the basement with other tenants residing within the home, fueling supernatural What the actual fuck was that? I didn’t tell any of my co-workers once in the upstairs. I felt I needed to warm him up, so we chatted about speculations of visitors throughout history. I was looking straight at the I got back to the office, they wouldn’t the German history of the house, the gargoyles and the gorgeous have believed me anyway, and my right- tower. I kept peering into the windows for a sign of the “woman in Tiedemann’s 15-year-old daughter, Emma, castle and never saw the thin brained, logical self isn’t the type that black”, or anything that would add some truth to the age-old rumors. was the first to die in the castle. Her official man standing there... believes in ghosts. cause of death was diabetes, though many “So, have you ever seen or heard anything weird inside this house?” believe she was found hanging in the I hopped the bus down Detroit Avenue attic’s rafters. A few weeks later, Hannes Tiedemann’s elderly mother from my home in Lakewood to go explore Franklin Castle by myself. Long pause. passed away, cause unknown. From 1886 to 1888, three more children The other writers at Pressure Life had come up with a great idea would be born and not survive, giving life to a now legendary curse of to explore haunted places for a story and with the help of a little “A little.” As he said it, he looked straight ahead, his eyes focused death. Later stories would include the possible murder of Tiedemann’s personal suspension of disbelief, I thought taking a solo trip to the forward as if contemplating, maybe even reliving, one of those niece inside the home and that of a young servant girl he may have legendary castle would result in a fun case of freaking myself out. weird moments. murdered on her wedding day in a fit of jealous rage. The best thing that could happen? I actually see a ghost. I would probably piss myself accordingly, but it would be worth it. I could “Can you tell me anyth-“ Dr. John Grabowski, a professor with Case Western Reserve University, also get arrested for trespassing, but fuck it. That will make up for explains, “After the Tiedemann family leaves the house, it still ends all the times I should have been arrested for doing some seriously “What about the other tenan-“ up being German. It was then used by a German singing society, a wrong shit but just never got caught. choral group. It later becomes the German Socialist Party’s headquar- “No.” ters, including Charles Ruthenberg, a native Clevelander who founded It was at least 10:30 when I got to Franklin Avenue, the perfect setting the American Communist party [Communist Party USA] and whose for a haunting. I recognized the castle by its large sandstone tower “I heard it was sold in-“ ashes are buried in the Kremlin Wall.” rising up above the trees. That’s weird. There’s actually lights on inside the tower. And no curtains. A chandelier is clearly visible on “That’s correct.” Stories of political assassinations and espionage carried out by mem- the second floor. bers of the Party created new legends added to the story of the cursed And then nothing. Suddenly Mr. Friendly offering spraydowns house. Throughout the late 20th century, the house was sold several And then a voice. had decided he had nothing to say to me. times over to families and contractors who spoke of strange occurrences, like finding their children talking to “imaginary friends” on the fourth “I’m offering free spraydowns...” With no warning, he shut off the hose and walked around to the floor, seeing a “woman in black” in the castle’s turret windows, and side of the house, saying “Goodbye” with his back turned as he finding the skeletons of babies inside sealed rooms. Local news reported What the actual fuck was that? I was looking straight at the castle and walked off. I stood there, not really sure what I was waiting for. He renovations by a foreign contractor as recently as October 2014. never saw the thin man standing there. came back around the front and said goodbye again; it was clear my presence wasn’t appreciated there anymore. I eventually trudged I had seen the “woman in black” once. I was out walking around the He was watering the front yard of Franklin Castle. At 11:00 at night. off down Franklin back toward the bus stop, occasionally looking Ohio City neighborhood taking a mental break from the busy work day. back to see if the “woman in black” or any other strange occurrence I noticed the castle as I walked up W. 44th St. It was a dark afternoon, “Uh, do you live here?” would bid me farewell. Give me something, for Chrissake! But the no sun to create reflections in the windows. I was across the street from cold drab limestone walls of Franklin Castle gave away nothing the castle as I turned down Franklin Avenue and happened to be in the “Yeah, sort of. I’m the groundskeeper.” and eventually disappeared from my view, unforgiving and still holding on to their secrets.

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