donkey kong

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need to stop, before Donkey Kong crown, something he business, a barber shop. Daniels’ The most I have a heart has spent five years failing to ambition is to open a bar/arcade i attack.” Vincent achieve. He’s come close before: hybrid. “It would be a barber shop, difficult Lemay is defeated, his 1,135,900 points in January 2013 bar and arcade – ‘Barbarcade’.” video games a broken man. A was just 2,700 off 40-year-old As Lemay and Lakeman settle French-Canadian bodybuilder, he plastic surgeon Hank Chien’s in at their machines, Lemay is ever made has been chewed up and spat out, then-world record. “It’s my DNA, I happy with one small victory, even robbie lakeman broke That ape has got and at the age of just 23 is ready to need a rivalry,” admits Lemay. “Hank if the record still eludes him. Chien the world record competition… announce his retirement. But not seems to be a very successful man in september is in surgery today, meaning the from the gym. Lemay’s adversary is in life – he’s a plastic surgeon, got 250,000 point game he scored an 8-bit ape called Donkey Kong the Donkey Kong world record, yesterday languishes far behind who has just murdered him – or graduated from Harvard – but Lemay’s 1,080,100. “I scored four rather a moustachioed plumber when you look at him, he doesn’t times higher than Hank this called Mario – with a flying barrel. It look like a champion. When I think weekend, that’s all that matters,” seems he’s done it for the last time. about a real champion, I think of boasts Lemay. “He can go home “If Donkey Kong subtracted seven Arnold Schwarzenegger. But when I with all his money, but he will use it minutes of your life, like a cigarette look at Hank I don’t see any to wipe his tears, because I have getting to a certain point does,” says Lemay, “I would have muscles. When you look at me, you in the game triggers the the record for this week, and he Super Mario been dead years ago.” see muscle. I am the image of a real '' glitch has nothing.” As the day Bros: The Deep within the confines of a champion.” progresses and credits mount Lost Levels New Jersey arcade, in among the Sidling up to the five Donkey up, frustration reigns. “We’re (NES, 1986) antique games, five men are Kong cabinets, the competitors “i don‘t have chasing such statistical outliers So difficult that its release battling to make gaming history represent a miscellany of ages, a wife or a that rarely come up,” says Daniels. outside of Japan was amid leftover takeaway containers career and ability. There’s Robbie girlfriend. i “It’s like you’re trying to roll a dice blocked by Nintendo until and a fug of marijuana smoke Lakeman, 27 – the new record with skill.” figured that 1993. Randomly spawning wafting in from outside. It may not holder as of September, a golfer stuff can wait“ enemies were tricky be as decadent as the Champions and poker player who dedicated Can’t quit enough but poisonous League final or the Super Bowl, yet the past three years to the game trainers. Apparently. As it turns out, Lakeman’s record power-ups made it almost some of the planet’s finest joystick after a bar bet with a friend; Wes Away from the competition, stays unbroken, and Lemay’s unplayable for most. jockeys are here, duking it out for Copeland, 24 – a software engineer today’s been a chance for the 1,080,100 remains the highest of the high score on Donkey Kong – a and pianist who just recently players who usually converse via the weekend. Lakeman manages a Battletoads contest that goes back 33 years. graced the top 10; Ethan Daniels – a the internet alone to catch up. For kill screen on a single life – more for (NES, 1991) The game has attained 30-year-old barber who notched them, DK is their church. They my benefit than anything else – yet A Ninja Turtle rip-off, this mythical status over time, his first kill screen in three months, recite lines from 2007’s The King is almost embarrassed by his beat-em-up was hailed for considered to be among the yet plays in such a dangerous way Of Kong documentary (credited 858,000 points. The modern its pioneering graphics hardest ever made and impossible that he seldom finishes a game and for breathing new life into the scene is absurdly competitive (the and infuriating difficulty. to complete thanks to a software sits in 40th; and, of course – scene) like scripture and bemoan all-time high is Dean Saglio’s With just three lives glitch known as the ‘kill screen’. For warring rivals Chien and Lemay. ‘randomness’ on the game as if it 1,206,800, but it’s not considered available, co-op play made a beginner, all three lives will be “We’re definitely overly were a higher power. Donkey Kong for the record as it was achieved it even harder, as you spent in under a minute, whereas a competitive,” confesses Lakeman Forum is their Facebook, Donkey on computer emulator, Mame), might accidentally kill world record game will require of the group. I notice that, Chien’s Kong Blog their Sky Sports News. though Lakeman’s weekend score your fellow toad. more than three hours of constant girlfriend Youmee apart, there are “Sometimes it feels like life can get is not far off legendary gamer/hot focus from the pros, trying to no girls in the arcade. Is the draw of in the way of Donkey Kong,” says sauce impresario Billy Mitchell’s F-Zero GX squeeze out every point. competitive Donkey Kong uniquely reigning champ Lakeman. “I don’t original 1982 record, it’s barely (GameCube, So why the devotion? Well, it’s male? “It might just be the concept have a wife or a girlfriend – I figured worth mentioning nowadays. 2003) partly nostalgia and partly the of the game that doesn’t really that stuff can wait.” Every new player getting a kill A futuristic racer with difficulty. Donkey Kong represents attract women,” shrugs Lakeman. “I screen (at the time of writing there minimal guard rails where the Holy Grail for retro gamers. It mean, you’re a chubby plumber Kill screen are 72) only dilutes the you’d spend most of the has driven men around the world with a moustache, trying to save kings achievement further.“To get a kill time swerving your craft to distraction along the way, the girl. Maybe from a female Shuffling in armed with green tea screen in the Eighties, you were an into oblivion. A test of spawning fierce rivalries, even perspective that doesn’t look great.” and ice cream, a little after 8am, expert player, a god,” claims memory as much as skill, death threats, and plenty of “I think men are a little more world No9 Wes Copeland is ready Copeland. “Today, once you get you’d face off against up repetitive-strain injuries besides. stubborn and competitive,” adds to tackle day two. “Every kill screen the kill screen, you are no longer a to 29 competitors. And For Vincent Lemay, it's forced him Chien. “There’s something about I’ve ever had came immediately beginner.” subsequently lose. to say “game over”. Donkey Kong that makes you think after drinking green tea,” he says. A As for Lemay, his long-term you can do better than you can careful and methodical player, goal is to teach his newborn son Flappy Bird donkey work actually do. Then the game slaps Copeland appears Zen in front of the way of the joystick, so one day (mobile, Thirty-six hours earlier, and you in the face and says no, so you the machine, yet could fill a swear he can beat Chien’s (yet-to-be- 2013) proceedings are just getting come back for more.” jar each time Mario meets his end. conceived) baby at Donkey Kong. Dong Nguyen’s underway. Lemay’s girlfriend has As day one draws to a close, “I use it as an outlet for my anger,” And as for his retirement… notoriously maddening recently given birth to their first drama has been scant, bar the odd he says. “I really think Donkey Kong “It’s like smoking,” says Lemay. phenomenon prompted G

child, a son, yet instead of toasting expletive muttered in the direction is an interesting medium for “I’m sure that in a few months I will G N N A complaints, whispered the new arrival with premium- of a machine, as players complain personal growth.” want to play again because I can’t A

NK W NK rumours about Nintendo strength French lager, Lemay about wonky monitors, stiff Next in is rank outsider Ethan quit – it’s an addiction.” He sits W NK lawsuits and a swift RA challenged the cult DK community joysticks and a particularly ruthless Daniels. After earning a masters in down at a cabinet, grinning. “I’ll removal from the app to join him at Richie Knucklez ARCADE owner richie primate. Playing on a cabinet that’s genetics, the Pennsylvania native play maybe one more , just store. Still a masterpiece arcade in Flemington, New Jersey, knucklez (fronT) with the not your own is a bit like running a turned his back on medicine in for fun. It’s my nicotine patch, elite donkey kong players of side-scrolling sadism. as he takes one final run at the fRA photographs: marathon in someone else’s favour of taking over the family I need it.” photographs: F photographs:

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