HR

‘Is he suffering from the god ?’

By Pierrette Desrosiers, psychologist and coach

e is always right,” says Matthew, age • Any relationship involving two or more people 25. “We always have to do things his requires , listening to the needs and expec- way. Not even my mother can voice tations of the others (something that is almost non- any kind of opinion. I’ve had enough.” existent with a narcissist); When I met Matthew’s father, his • He doesn’t listen to others, take their advice or initial comment was, “You will see right away that accept criticism (because he is perfect!); my son and my wife have problems.” • He crushes, manipulates and uses others (which At that point, I was the best psychologist and wears down the relationship); coach. However, when I started to say that maybe he • His need for prestige, success and power are so was part of a problematic dynamic, and when I chal- strong, he will sometimes make decisions that are lenged him and asked him what he could improve, completely illogical (i.e. disproportionate purchases he immediately classified me as incompetent. or investments); Unquestionably, I was dealing with a real narcis- • He creates a climate of terror, despair or sist. A narcissist lives most of his life in a world of among his colleagues; . His behaviour is grandiose. He needs to be • In the long run, others will abandon him (family, part- admired and often is not well liked. ners, employees) because he is impossible to live with. has also been called the god complex. Narcissism is a mental health disorder, and narcis- As a joke, I often tell my audience that someone suf- sists can be found just about everywhere (they’re about fers from the god complex when he wakes up and says, one per cent of the population). One per cent may not “OK God, you can go back and rest, I am awake now.” sound like a big deal but for the higher-ups in hierarchies A god complex is an unshakable belief character- (CEOs, professional leaders, bosses), the numbers could ized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, reach up to 10 per cent for the full disorder. Even more privilege, or infallibility. Such a person will usually business leaders have important traits of “the god syn- refuse to admit and may even deny the possibility of drome.” It’s likely that the disorder could explain many their error or failure, even in the face of complex or poor results in business (bad decisions, turnover, burnout, evident problems or impossible tasks. Most of the and bankruptcy). Many authors have looked at the fail- time, they regard their personal opinions as unques- ure of big companies through the lens of narcissism. tionably correct, rejecting even the brightest advice. Is there a cure? To be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder This is a disorder that requires very prolonged (NPD), a person must meet five or more of the following treatment, and even then, there is very little improve- criteria. A narcissist: ment. Strong narcissists rarely seek help unless they • Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. he have lost everything. Otherwise, why would they expects to be recognized as superior without com- seek help? After all, they are convinced that the mensurate achievements); problem is with others and that they are God. • Is overwhelmed by fantasies of unlimited success, What can you do if you live with or are associ- power, splendour, beauty or ideal love; ated with a narcissist? • Thinks he is “special” and can only be recognized Unfortunately, living with a narcissist is like dying or understood by special individuals; a little every day. It means accepting the put-downs • Has a very strong sense of , (e.g. unrea- and being at his service your whole life. The only sonable expectations of automatic compliance with way to protect yourself is to respect yourself, to set his or her expectations); limits, and to assert yourself despite the potential • Has an excessive need to be admired; consequences. • Thinks he is “owed”; If you live with, are associated with, or work for • Exploits others in his interpersonal relationships; a narcissist, you have to think about survival. Profes- • Frequently envies others and thinks others him; sional help can help. CG • Is arrogant and haughty in his attitude and behaviour. Narcissists come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees. Pierrette Desrosiers, MPS, CRHA is a work psy- Certainly, we all have a certain level of narcissism. In chologist, professional speaker, coach and author fact, a degree of narcissism is healthy and useful for who specializes in the agricultural industry. She success. The problem occurs when the level of narcis- comes from a family of farmers and she and her sism is too high. husband have farmed for more than 25 years Why does a high level of narcissism put the long- (www.pierrettedesrosiers.com). Contact her at term success of the business at risk? [email protected].

66 country-guide.ca J u ly/august 2015